An Embarrassing Way To Die
Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis have just been defeated. However, before Discord was able to get his powers back from the bell, a man suddenly appeared.
"When there is no more room in hell, I shall once again walk the...earth? Okay, where the hell am I?" The human asked before spotting Grogar's bell.
With a "yoink", the human snatched the bell away from Discord and took the draconnequis's powers for himself. The human then proceeded to use Discord's powers to summon the real Grogar before giving Discord his powers back and returning the bell to its rightful owner. Grogar then brought the three defeated villains back to full power and revived King Sombra. The man, however, had run off before any creature could lecture him. So...locked in a staredown, the forces of good and evil were just about to charge into battle when the human from before suddenly returned, drawing the attention of every creature there. The man walked up to Grogar with a gentle smile on his face...before he suddenly pulled his undergarments down to his ankles and shouted, “WAHOO!” The man then fell onto Grogar’s face with his dick.
“My peeeenis feels funny against this face,” The man said in the accent of a certain Italian plumber that wears blue and red clothing.
For a split second, Grogar was too stunned to move. That split second was all the man needed, though. Before Grogar had a chance to recover, the man bit down onto Grogar’s throat and heaved, tearing the goat’s throat open. As quickly as humanly possible, the man then stuck his fingers into the gaping hole and pulled. Grogar passed out from the pain, and the man took full advantage of this by pressing his foot on the goat’s throat until it died of asphyxiation, THEREBY PROVING THAT A PERSON DOESN’T NEED ANY POWERS TO DEFEAT BEINGS THAT COMPLETELY AND VASTLY OUTCLASS HIM OR HER (unless it's something like DBZ where their bodies are tougher than steel).
“Pfft...HURP-DERP DERPDERP DERP!!! ‘My peeeenis feels’... YUCKAYUCKAYUCKA!!! I crack me up!” The man then broke down into an uncontrollable fit of laughter at his own actions while imagining everyone's reactions.
None of them disappointed. When he finally reigned it in, he looked towards the rest of the world's sapient inhabitants before bursting out into laughter once again.
All of them save for Rarity, who had fainted, were gaping with looks of both disbelief and mortification.
...And then he smooched Twilight.
“WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!” The man then shouted while running away sideways like a crab (in honor of Zoidberg), leaving a blushing purple alicorn in his wake.
A few minutes of silence passed between the two opposing parties before Tirek finally broke the silence.
“...Let us never speak of this again,” He stated emotionlessly.
“Agreed,” The rest replied, save for Twilight, who was still 50 shades of...red. Lolz.
Mentally scarred for life after having witnessed something so messed up that it was literally unheard of in such a peaceful place, both parties decided on a peace treaty and never bothered each other again.
Tirek went back to his homeland and just faffed around constantly.
Queen Chrysalis eventually made peace with her hive and decided to follow their new way of life. Her metamorphosis was spectacular. Queen Chrysalis and King Thorax later fell in love and married. They made love a bunch of times and had a bunch of babies.
Despite being a very young filly, Cozy Glow still knew more than most her age. Thus, she knew about sex. She had constant nightmares of the man slamming his junk into her face. Eventually she went mad and was placed in a psychiatric hospital. No seriously, she was so unstable that they had to actually create the first mental institution in the world for her alone.
King Sombra, who had been revived as Grogar’s pawn, decided to return to the Crystal Empire and apologize for his previous actions. After making amends there, he then traveled to Ponyville to learn the magic of friendship from Twilight and the girls. He went onto become the next alicorn and was loved by all.
The human and Discord have often been seen hanging out to this very day. With a willing outlet for his chaos, he has been much more relaxed around others. This change had not gone unnoticed by the princesses, and he was granted the title of an honorary king. The human was also given the honorary title of a king. His first decree was that all sapient creatures in the land would have a shit fight every Monday; that is to say that they were to throw their fecal matter at each other at least once. Needless to say, he was downgraded to the title of village idiot.
Michael Rosen also made a cameo. He fiddled with his riddle-diddle out in public when the pony police showed up and told him to stop right there. Michael then ran from the pony police, saying that they couldn’t catch him because he’s Michael-fucking-Rosen. He eventually lost the pony police when he ran into the Everfree Forest. However, a timberwolf then showed up, and Michael ran faster than an electronic rabbit. This, however, wasn’t very fast, so the timberwolf was on him in an instant. Michael then slapped the timberwolf with his cock-his pet chicken-and started running again. However, the chicken didn’t take too kindly to this, so it made its chicken call. This call sent hordes of angry chickens-much like the Cuckoos that swarm Link in the Legend Of Zelda games-at Michael from all directions. Thinking quickly, Michael used his ninja skills to create a horde of shadow clones as a distraction while he ran away from both the timberwolf and the chickens. Fortunately for Michael, he ran into the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He then proceeded to shove his fat, red penis into the three’s small, sensitive rectums. He then snapped his fingers and teleported back to Planet Earth, leaving three wee lasses crying on the floor of the Everfree Forest...or at least until the chickens caught up to them and pecked them to death. The timberwolf followed soon after and devoured their dead carcasses. Their bodies were never found, and the case remains a mystery to this day. The chickens eloped with the timberwolf and made baby hybrid abominations that feast on the souls of the living dead. In other words, all the residents of Sunny Town, along with the Bloodwhooves, were fucked. Then King Sombralicorn decided to eat all of the chicken/timberwolf hybrid abominations for dinner. This gave him gas so foul that the world exploded. And everything died. King Sombra was then kissed by his love interest, something-Hope. They got aftermarried, had ghost foals, and lived happily ever after.
Then Knighty turned into a Super Saiyan and revived everything, including Virginia and Kaka-Kaka-Carrot Cake. Vagina then shat on the mini-Mo Howard. The monk then thanked Vegeta and left. Kaka-Krabby Patty then blew up a freezer and did the carmillsandan dance before exploding twice. Then Spike started slamming his junk into a hole in a tree. The little tree humper. I was laughing out loud.
Twenty years later, a Celestia-sized Twilight sat alone upon her throne in Canterlot Castle, when she suddenly heard a commotion right outside the door. Before she could get up to see what was going on, the doors to her throne room suddenly burst open.
"Honey, I'm hooooooome!~" An all-too familiar voice called out, followed by a familiar human.
Twilight paled before asking, "Oh...well, what do you need?"
With a grin, the human said, "I came here to finish what I started 20 years ago."
Before she could ask what he was planning, the human ran up to her and smooched her again.
"Ain't I a stinker?" The human asked in his best Bugs Bunny voice.
Then they fucked.
The human then said, “a fra m d we astie n pesticide and medicine are fungi people asdtfd d NARF! A skeleton of someone’s dead grandma had a gynecologist poking the maggot-infested hole where her snatch used to be. ‘‘Tis time eat a aa a aa a a a a a a a a a a a a. A a a a a a e sad d6. Oh! You sunk my battleship! As for lotsa spaghetti for the king of the boi, eat my shitty sauce. A flag got stuck up my rectum. A massive hag in Florida then fiddled with a baby’s huge, hairy ballsack that was hanging out of the trap door of the baby’s diaper. The baby started crying, so she devoured it and shat out a cannibal that she had also eaten earlier. Electric Scootaloo. "...WAAAAAAAAH!!!" A toad from Super Mario screamed in its wheaty little voice as the electric Scootaloo shocked it. A s i n g l e d a y was three days. THREE DAYS!!! XD Right, a Democrat had sex with a Celestia and spawned a demon. The demon used bite! It’s super effective! Deez nuts! I want a dfreagreaasumaeratemur. DD’s are large. Starlight Glimmer was murdered by AIDS. Then monkeys happened. Explosions. F d g lube on a duck. Fuck. A g j m l p m r. F o r g e t a b o u t m y p a n t i e s f o r j u s t a m o m e n t a n d s t o p b e i n g a f a g ! F a g = F r e a k y A l i e n G e n o t y p e , n o t t h e d e r o g a t o r y t e r m f o r a h o m o s e x u a l. FINALLY!!! Way over 1,000 fucking words! Now that I’m over the 1,000 word limit even without this entire paragraph, I’m still keeping it!”
END.
