Bowser vs. the Fall of Equestria

“So, this is the fortress you found, huh?” Bowser said, looking at the fortress from the depths of the blizzard through special binoculars. He looked at the Ninji, who nodded in response to her asked question. “Good. But it looks pretty sturdy. We shall attack them from the inside out.” Bowser said, looking towards the soldiers at hand, said battalion mainly consisted of Dry Bones, Boos, Monty Moles, and Koopas. “Monty Moles, I want you to dig a tunnel underground, and be sure to dig deeper in case there’s a moat.”

“Yes, my King.” the lead Monty Mole said before looking back at his team. “Alright, you heard the man! Let’s dig!”

As they began to dig, Bowser turned his attention towards the rest of his troops. “As for the rest of you guys, you are going to be divided into two teams. The undead part will be going in the tunnel with the Monty Moles, while the rest of you surround the castle with me to distract them. Anything we need to talk about?” He expected someone to speak, but he got nothing in response. “Good. Because, we’re gonna attack!”

The new fortress built by the caribou was made for their glory, as were many other new structures that either replaced old ones or built in new places. In the barracks, two caribou were busy playing cards while spit-roasting a doe under a table. A couple of caribou guards were busy patrolling the battlements, when one looked out to see a fireball hurtling towards their fortress. “By Dainn!” he yelled out before being obliterated by the fireball.

“Shit! Shit! We’re being attacked!” the bell tower caribou yelled.

“How is this possible? They should be worshipping us!” another caribou said as he grabbed his sword and headed towards the walls. The two caribou grunted in frustration as they were forced to let go of the doe they were raping, throwing her into a slut cage.

The caribou guards watched as a flurry of arrows emerge from the snow, raining down onto the fortress, forcing many caribou to flee under the battlements, and there were some unlucky few that got impaled before they could leave. “Attack!” a strange, spiked being yelled as his silhouette pointed at them.

“Whatever, give them their favor in kind!” the sargent yelled, glaring at the surrounding army before pointing a finger at them. A few Koopas stationed a ladder at one of the main battlements of the outer wall, two of them holding it in place. A few Koopas began to climb the ladder as the caribou stationed long poles to push the ladder back, although it proved difficult due to the extra support.

Meanwhile, the other side of the fort was also accompanied by the turtles attempting to climb onto the battlements. The caribou also hurled rocks at their opponents, but they were equipped with shields designed to withstand such blows. Little do they know where the archers and crossbowmen were located, shooting arrows from the fog of snow. They tried to locate the mysterious attackers, but it seemed that they were as swift as the speed of their shots.

But little do they know, that something else was at play.

The undead minions were slowly following the Monty Moles, occasionally talking about their days when they were alive. They heard the fight rage on from above, and knew that their part will be beginning shortly. But suddenly, they stopped and hit a stone wall, a wall belonging to the fortress. The two Monty Moles that were closest to the wall looked at one another before shrugging simultaneously, and pulled out hammers, opening a hole in the wall.

“What the hell?” a caribou guard said before looking at the skeletons and ghosts moving towards him. He raised his sword in an attempt to strike a Dry Bones, causing it to collapse into a pile of bones, but it soon reassembled. He had no time to react as the undead minions surrounded him and began tearing his body apart.

Several Dry Bones looked towards one of the doors before flooding in, the rest following through several other doors to find a way out. The door to the left lead to what appeared to be a wine cellar, but there were a few things off. “Goodness gracious! Talk about taking wine to the next level!” one of the Dry Bones said, pointing towards the caribou does and black collared mares strapped to the walls, strange tubes attached to their vaginas.

While the caribou did not heed any attention, the pony mares looked at the strange beings right at the door stand, looking at the wine cellar in horror. The Dry Bones nearest to the captured females nodded and drew their axes, killing off all the caribou does, while four more began unstrapping the mares from their prisons, finally letting them pass out. After the black collars were freed, the two Dry Bones threw matches at the barrels, causing them and the wine to burst into flames.

Meanwhile, the other group of Dry Bones scaled up a staircase, running over every caribou in sight as they scaled the stairs like a flood. Meanwhile, upstairs, several caribou were sitting in the room near the courtyard, playing a deck of cards. “Heh, these invaders just don’t realize it, don’t they?” one of the guards said.

“Agreed. Pretty soon, they will… be… Wait, do you hear that rumbling sound?” The caribou officials looked to see the door fly out of its frame, all of them quickly moving out of the way as soon as the door slammed into the wall. “What the fuck!? Shit! That’s-” The skeleton that kicked the door immediately tackled him, spraying him with some sort of colored gas that quickly caused him and everyone in the room to fall asleep.

“They’re out like lights. Let’s tie them up before they wake.” a Dry Bones said as his comrades began tying them with ropes that they brought during the siege, making sure it was extra tight. Meanwhile, the last group of Dry Bones, along with several Boos, just found their way into the courtyard, much to the fear of the caribou guards.

“Great Cock in the Sky! Is the undead!” a caribou screamed.

At this point, multiple undead minions and Monty Moles burst out of the doors and flooded the area like a wave. “For the kingdom you raped!” the lead Koopatrol said, pointing his sword at the guards, who could only look in fear, knowing that somehow, these creatures managed to find them and dig underground during a blizzard. “Open the gates!”

Two Koopas ran over towards the gates, striking the caribou with their clubs. Looking at one another with the knowledge of Bowser’s sudden strategy, they opened the gates, causing not just snow to flood in, but the rest of the battalion, including the Koopa King himself.

They were speechless at the sight of this new creature. Bowser walked in, his cape flowing in the breeze, his shoulder and knee pads glimmering in the light as he twirled a double-sided trident in his right hand. As he walked, they could see a falcon idly fly onto his left shoulder and groom itself. “Our first captured fortress. What’s the status, Captain?”

“Excellent, my king.” the lead Koopatrol replied. “The remaining caribou are going to be publicly executed. Oh, and we captured the fort’s commanders. They will have a good amount of information with them.”

“Perfecto.” Bowser replied before pointing one end of his dual trident at the caribou. “Kill the rest of them and clean this place up. This run-down place needs to be ship-shape and worthy of my stay by the time the sun set twice!”