A Simple Question

by Stolenalicorn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3158

Pinkie Pie spends more than a year looking for the answer to one question.

This is parallel to The Line Between Fire and Light.
For full context, please have read at least through Chapter 14 of The Line Between Fire and Light
After James apologizes Pinkie asks a couple easy questions to learn a bit about him, but one question he won't answer is so easy that his refusal to do so is maddening.
Pinkie Pie wants to know about her new friend, even if he doesn't want to answer.

Published 2019-05-25 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-05-25 06:30:01 UTC

A Simple Question

Pinkie Pie had a bunch of questions for James now that he was being nice to everyone. Applejack had been nice enough to tie him to a chair for her too.

James chuckled as Pinkie got her clipboard and held a pencil in her mouth. “Okey-dokey.” She happily said. “What's your favorite cookie?” She asked, ready to get any information she could from him.

“Chocolate Chip, or oatmeal raisin. Depending on how I feel about it.” James said.

“Ooh, which one do you like when?” She happily asked.

“Dunno, either at any time for any reason.” He answered.

Pinkie nodded. “I'll figure it out eventually, don't worry.” She giggled a bit, this was going to be fun.

“Many have tired.” James said with a wicked grin.

“What about cakes?”

“I have a few standbys, white cake with chocolate, apple cider, coffee cake. But I'm willing to enjoy pretty much any cake as much as any other. Oh, I forgot all about strawberry cake. And no coconut. I hate coconut.” James explained.

Pinkie oohed as she heard this, imagining new kinds of cakes he could try. “Do you like sports?”

“Playing, not watching. Clearly I don't play often.” James was getting uncomfortable with the rope around him. His horn glowed it's gold fringed darkness and loosened the rope, letting it drop to the floor.

“Okay.” Pinkie Pie said cheerily. “And when’s your birthday?”

“Classified.” James answered with a smile.

Pinkie Pie laughed at the joke. She was having fun learning about her new friend today. “Good one James.” She said with a wide smile. “Alrighty, when’s your birthday?”

“Between today and this time next year.” James calmly answered.

She chuckled again before stopping abruptly. “Seriously, when’s your birthday?”

“Strictly need to know. And nobody needs to know.” James answered, making sure to keep calm, she was just trying to be friendly after all and he’d already messed things up badly enough.

“Oh course somepony needs to know. How else will you get birthday presents, birthday cake, HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY?!” Pinkie Pie asked, becoming rapidly more intense with each addition to her list.

“Easy. I don’t.” He said, no longer grinning.

“But … But … Birthdays are super awesome! How can you just not have them?” Pinkie Pie was astonished that anyone could so casually dismiss their own birthday.

“By simple refusal. I don’t tell anyone my birthday so they can’t try to celebrate it.” James explained, he wouldn’t say so out loud but he was having some fun frustrating the always happy pony.

“Why would you do that?” Pinkie asked as horrified at that as the thought of someone hating dessert.

“Because I don’t want to celibate my birthday.” James answered, a little frustrated at the digging.

Pinkie Pie smiled and nodded. “I see. So something low key, just friends and family. Gotcha. But when is your birthday?” She asked as she wrote down the new information.

“Pinkie. I admit to being born, but that’s it. Nobody will ever find out when that happened if I can help it.” James rephrased.

Pinkie gave an awkward smile. “O-o-okay-y-y.” She said over a couple seconds. “I guess I’ll ask you again later.” She said.

“Only if you feel like getting frustrated.” James said shaking his head.

***

After the tree decorating Pinkie Pie had nearly forgotten the other reason she was glad to be here. After happily saying good bye to Santa she ran over to Sara, who was getting a plate of something that smelled really sweet and good.

Pinkie could help but get herself a plate before she followed Sara to where she was sitting down.

“Hi Sara.” She happily said once they sat down.

“Oh, Hi Pinkie.” Sara said, noticeably getting happier just from Pinkie’s presence. She leaned over and hugged the often excited pony.

Pinkie happily and enthusiastically returned the hug. “So how’ve you been?”

“Alright.” She said, sounding not as happy.

“Aahhh. What’s going on?” Pinkie asked, clearly able to hear that alright wasn’t good.

“It’s nothing really. Just my classwork.” Sara said, looking away. “Tali’s trying to help me with programming but I’m just not getting it.” Before adding much quieter. “And I’m moving on to structural engineering in a couple months and I don’t even know where to begin.”

Pinkie blew a raspberry at her response. “You’ll do great. And even if you don’t if you have fun it’ll feel great.”

“Thanks.” Sara said with a grin.

“Can I ask you a super simple question?” Pinkie asked.

“Sure.” Sara answered, turning to the pony.

“When’s your dad’s birthday?” She had him now, he may not tell his friends or anyone in truce, but there’s no way his own daughters wouldn’t know!

“Oh. Let’s see … Amber’s is in about three months … Aunt and uncle have theirs the month after … Mom’s is two weeks after them … Tali’s is two months later with Tenyo’s being just a few days after … Liara’s is exactly a month after Tenyo’s … Dad’s …. Dad’s …” Sara’s face began to fall as she tried to remember just when her dad’s birthday was. “I … I don’t think I know when dad’s birthday is.” She was looking more concerned as she thought about it. Every year they had everyone else’s birthday but she couldn’t even remember if they did anything for her dad, ever.

It just seemed so normal to her for birthdays to flow the way they did that she never even thought about his birthday until now. Did she miss it? How could she miss everyone of her own dad’s birthdays.

Pinkie saw how much this was bothering her and couldn’t let her silly question ruin this party for her. “That’s okay Sara. You’ve got a lot to remember already, it probably just slipped your mind right now.” Pinkie smiled as she tried to think about what to do next as she took a bite of the dessert she had gotten. Hot apple cider upside down spice cake!

There was still someone else to ask, but there was no way she could get to Lucca at the moment as she stayed close to James. But maybe there was something she could still do.

***

Pinkie Pie sneaked through the door into New Guardia castle in the middle of the night. Even if he didn’t celebrate his birthday he had to have it marked down somewhere so he at least knew when he got older. He kept track of that.

She rolled as she got to a section where there was no carpeting and quickly moved to the side of the hallway. She looked back and forth, ninja guards must be posted everywhere as the only noise heard was a quiet music, possibly a way to lull any intruders into a false sense of security.

Pinkie Pie Super Spy was too cleaver for that. She pressed herself as close to the wall as she could get and inched along, careful to avoid any traps that might be placed for the unwary intruder.

It was tough going but eventually she made it to the study, she was certain that this would be where he would keep any important information. She touched the knob lightly, it wasn’t trapped. Carefully she opened the door and rolled inside. Crawling across the floor towards the desk to avoid the laser triggered cream pie security system.

On closer inspection the chair appeared to be safe and spun easily as she climbed in.

Pinkie Pie giggled as she spun around in the strange rocking chair for a minute.

Each drawer could be filled with traps, or misleading information, it would take all of her skill as a master spy to uncover the truth and find the information she needed.

Ooh, butterscotch.

With her provisions secured she had to move on and search elsewhere for what she needed. It was a perilous journey through the halls filled with traps, deadly ninjas and lasers but eventually she found her next objective point. If not in his study, the information must be kept close at hand. The bedroom was the next logical place to check.

As she got close she could hear what could only be vicious guard bears growling inside. At times like these she could really use the help of her close friend, Fluttershy. But she was alone on this mission, and had to brave the dangers by herself to accomplish her goal.

Cautiously she opened the door and rushed in, hugging the wall as she went. The room was nearly black, as must be the bears. Or they were invisible! Fortunately she had her infra-red goggles to help her. They came down and she could now easily see the entire layout of the room. No bears in sight, that must mean that …
On the bed she could see both James and Lucca sleeping. James’s chest rising and falling with the noise. He was just snoring really bad.

Pinkie Pie walked calmly over to the dresser and inspected what was resting on top, nothing too useful for her. Mostly family photos and nick knacks. She began opening drawers, they squeaked slightly as they slid open. She reached her hoof inside, hoping to feel something near the bottom that could be a book or something.

If not for the hand holding her down she would have jumped up as said hand came down on her shoulder. She tried to scream but no matter what she did or said she was completely silent.

“What are you doing in my bedroom Pinkie Pie?” James growled angrily.

Pinkie Pie tried to ramble off a long complicated answer, but nobody at all heard it.

“Whatever it was, I doubt you’d find in it my wife’s pajama drawer.” He whispered eventually. He closed his eyes for a second and a small pinpoint of light appeared at the tip of his index finger and he pointed towards the door.

“Go home Pinkie. Unless it’s urgent it can wait until morning.” James finished.

Pinkie Pie nodded and slowly walked back to the door leading to Twilight’s castle.

***

Pinkie Pie paced in Twilight’s throne room as she tried to figure something out. “I just don’t get it Twilight.” She said as she slumped down on the table. “Not even Sara knew his birthday.”

Twilight did have some advice for Pinkie Pie, unfortunately it was likely not anything she wanted to hear. “It's probably just how he wants it. James's very private and it's going to take a while to get him to really open up. We've already made a lot of progress but you can't push too hard or he might close up again.”

“Not even his daughter knows, Twilight. It's like he doesn't even want to have a birthday.” Pinkie Pie said exasperated. “Who doesn't want a birthday?”

“Did you ask Lucca or Tali?” Twilight suggested.

“Not yet. I'm waiting until they wake up.” Pinkie was getting more confused the more she thought about it.

“Maybe they just don't think birthdays are important.” Twilight was reaching now, it didn't make any sense to her either but there had to be some reason.

“No.” Pinkie said as she shook her head. “Sara knew everypony else's birthdays. Lucca's, Tali's, Amber's, her aunt and uncle's, Tenyo's, and Liara's …” Pinkie sighed.

***

“Hey Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie happily said as she hopped alongside her friend. She had just got a new bit of information and having sat on this question for a long time it was driving her crazy. If Rainbow Dash knew she would definitely tell her.

“Hey Pinkie, what's up?” Rainbow Dash asked as she slowed down to talk.

“Rarity tells me you've been dating James for a while now.” Pinkie said as she continued to bounce.

“You're not going to get weird about this too, are you?” Rainbow Dash asked as she shook her head.

“Nope. As long as you're happy I think it's great.” Pinkie said casually.

“Thanks Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash said with a sigh.

“I would like to ask you something though.” Pinkie said.

“Sure.” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug.

“When's James's birthday?!” Pinkie jumped up and grabbed Rainbow Dash and asked, nearly pleading.

“Uhm …” Rainbow Dash had no idea when it was, she never asked and no one had ever told her. “Well, I'm pretty sure it hasn't come by yet.” She cautiously said as she landed.

“You think, or you know?!” Pinkie said, a crazed look in her eyes as she got nose to nose with Rainbow Dash. She'd been hunting this down for over a year, and was no closer to an answer.

“I … think. Haven't you asked Lucca or Tali?” She offered as she backed up.

“They don't know either!” Pinkie shouted before her legs fell our from under her. “He's paid Liara to not tell anypony!” She began to hyperventilate as she lay on the ground.

“Did you ask his brother?” Rainbow Dash suggested, more out of concern for her friend than any interest in the information.

Pinkie's eyes lit up as she heard the suggestion. “He has a brother?” She happily asked. It didn't matter who he didn't tell, there's no possible way his brother wouldn't know.

“Yeah, he doesn't live in Truce though. So you've gotta find him.” Rainbow Dash said as she looked up and held her hoof under her chin. As she looked down she found that Pinkie Pie had already vanished.

***

It took a whole day of searching and asking around, and then there was the hours of walking just to find the lake hidden in the forest where James's brother had built his house. This guy was more reclusive than James was.

Pinkie Pie had to wonder just how he would react to her showing up.

She hopped up to the door and knocked.

She heard a couple voices talking before eventually the door opened. A tall, pale, slightly overweight clean shaven man who looked to be in his late thirties answered the door. She recognized him from months back when she first met him at James's Christmas party. He'd never been introduced as James's brother only as Sean.

“Hi Sean!” She happily said.

“Pinkie Pie.” He said before opening the door further.

“I didn't know you were James's brother.” Pinkie said as she walked inside.

He shrugged as he went and sat down at his computer, turning the chair to face her. “Most people assume.” He calmly said. “You can sit on the couch if you like.”

As Pinkie Pie looked around she got a good feel for the place, rather disorganized. The room had a large couch and reading chair, a coffee table where he had likely had his most recent meal and a pile of books still sat with several open. And there was his desk with both his computer and a large drink.

Pinkie waited a moment almost expecting him to say something else. “So-o-o-o. I was wondering if I could ask you a few things.” She said taking a seat on the couch.

“Sure.” He said.

Pinkie shrugged, this guy must be more like Big Mac and just not talkative. “Do you know James's birthday?”

“Yeah.” He said.

“Will you tell me?” Pinkie urged, literally on the edge of her seat.

“No …” He said, before being cut off by Pinkie's scream.

She panted and stared at him with crazed eyes. “Why?” She asked, keeping her teeth clenched. “I've been looking for this simple answer for a year. You have the information. Did James pay you not to tell too?!” She asked as she walked towards him.

“No …” He said before being cut off again.

“Then why wont you tell me when his birthday is? Month. Day. Year. All I want to know. Just a few simple numbers!” Pinkie said as she got nose to nose with Sean.

“Will you let me talk?” He calmly asked.

Pinkie nodded, not backing up at all.

Sean rolled his chair back to get some distance. “I'm his “big” brother. I was born three years before him. I'm only in my seventies. My “little” brother is over five hundred now. Because of his frequent use of time travel his time is different than all of our times. Changing his birthday every time he does so. That's not even getting to the real reason he doesn't let anyone know his birthday.”

“Even if he went with the option the other time travellers did of celebrating it on the calendar date you know and counting your age separately. He's never wanted to celebrate his birthday, even when he was a child. The few times he really did try celebrating it was such a terrible experience that he just chose to avoid it when people would finally let him. And as my last birthday gift to him … I chose to let him not have one any more. Now Liara may have found out when his birthday is, but I want to ask you to not get the answer to your question. No party, no amount of supportive friends, nothing is going to change his mind if the last five hundred years haven't. Just let him get rid of baggage he doesn't want.”

Pinkie sat on the floor looking at Sean for a while before nodding. “I guess there's no reason to have a party if he doesn't want one.” Pinkie said with a faint smile.

“Besides, he'll still celebrate other's birthdays. He just wont celebrate his.” Sean added. “Did that help?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” She said as she stood up.

“Glad I could help.” Sean said as he stood up and went to the door to let Pinkie out.

“Thank you.” Pinkie said as she hopped out of the house.

As she walked back to the forest she looked behind her and smiled. Producing a butterscotch from her mane and eating it she turned back to the forest to walk back to Ponyville.

***

James was in his study as he looked over the list of official meetings he needed to attend between universes. Not a bad month over all, and he had his research vacation coming up soon. His daughters were going to love visiting while he was staying so near Ponyville.

He was just filling in his schedule on his omnitool as an alert popped up. Nothing dramatic or even meriting more than a note, it was simply a number that counted up by one. Until the next time it happened it had stopped at 512. “That time already.” James mumbled to himself.

Without a second thought to the number he reached into his bottom drawer.

Where the hell is all my butterscotch?!

Author's Note

Just a quick idea I had and wanted to write down.
Pinkie can get stuck on something as easily as Twilight and can freak out even more intensely.