The Melancholy we Ache

by MellowSoul

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Sad, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 1257

The main six and Spike shoot a one-take video diary.

The main six and Spike open up about their struggles with anxiety and depression.

Published 2019-05-27 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-05-27 20:50:01 UTC

The Heaviest of Downpours

Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike were all gathered in Twilight's room. Rainbow sat on the bed while the others stood behind the Alicorn. Twilight directed her camera towards her friend. This was their all or nothing attempt to reach out to the world and try to influence some kind of meaningful change.

"Can you state your name?"

"Hey guys. My name's Rainbow Dash. I'm an aeronautics expert and independent public safety officer. Me and my friends unanimously agreed to record this video log to talk about some serious stuff. I didn't start noticing signs I was depressed until my sophomore year in high school. I had a lot of confidence in my athletic abilities - probably too much. Things were going okay until the hierarchy system kicked in. I didn't want to get picked on, so I bullied other people and put them down just to look cool. It didn't feel right from the first day on. After high school, I just sort of drifted around for a while until I met Twilight. When I started making friends with everybody else in this room, things started looking up a bit. I'm content with where we are now. We've all got a good paying job and we get to help people in the process. Compared to where I was a few years ago, this is paradise."

"Is there anything else you want to say?"

"Not really."

"I'll go next," Applejack offered.

The former farm pony sat down where Rainbow had been and started speaking.

"Hey, ya'll. Name's Applejack, but you can call me AJ. I've gone through a bit of depression and anxiety myself. I used to work on my grandma's farm all day every day, so my social skills were a bit underdeveloped to say the least. I was also a bit of a stereotypical cowgirl. Used a lot of southern slang and so on. People started spreading rumors about my family being inbred. I tried not to let it get to me, but it was hard most days. On top of all that, I wasn't very kind to my younger sister. Thought tough love was the way to go. There was a lot I didn't understand back then. I'm just grateful I learned from my mistakes before they caused real harm."

Fluttershy was up next.

"Um...Hi. I'm Fluttershy...And I was diagnosed with...Generalized Anxiety Disorder...When I was a filly. I didn't like being around anyone because I thought they wanted to hurt me. I spent more time with animals because I knew I could get away if I was in danger. I've been on medication and in therapy for a long time..."

"You don't have to say anything else," Twilight comforted.

"Thank you..."

It was Rarity's turn to take the stand.

"My name is Rarity. To make a long story short, my experiences were similar to Applejack's. The only real difference was our career paths. I was a fashionista in a local boutique until I met Twilight. I still design clothing from time to time, but it's mostly for the others present in this video diary."

"It's your turn, Pinkie," Twilight said.

Pinkie Pie reluctantly took Rarity's place. Her mane was straightened to represent her serious demeanor.

"My birth name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but everyone calls me Pinkie for short. I'm a bipolar outpatient and paranoid schizophrenic. I worked on a farm like Applejack. The work was really long and exhausting with barely any compensation. I ended up suffering from physical and emotional burnout. Even on my good days, I considered suicide to avoid another day of the exhausting drudgery that was my life. The lack of emotional support caused me to have a nervous breakdown. I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals through almost my entire childhood and adolescence. I just wish I could've had someone to help me smile more often..."

"We're here for you Pinkie. We always will be."

"I know."

"Spike, you go next. I'll finish things up so we can end the recording."

"Okay."

The dragon replaced Pinkie in the camera's line of sight.

"My name is Spike. I'm Twilight's adopted younger brother. As you can probably tell, I'm still pretty young. Statistically, I know it's unusual for someone my age to be afflicted with a psychological ailment. My problems came more from external factors than internal ones. When me and Twilight first moved here, we met everybody by coincidence. I had a huge crush on Rarity the minute I saw her. Things started going downhill fast after that. I used to follow her around to the point where people considered me a stalker. Accusations that I wanted to rape her sprang up after a while. That's when I left her alone and didn't talk to her again for a few months until we all grew up a bit. Nobody knew I'd heard what they were saying, and they probably didn't care, but I couldn't hold it against them. Their concerns came from a good place, and it'd be unfair to disregard that."

"I'm sorry those nasty things were said about you," Rarity apologized, "I really did enjoy your company. I was heartbroken when those accusations came to light."

"It's okay. They weren't used to seeing a dragon act like I was, and I couldn't find the right words to explain what was going on. I guess the best way I can describe it now is unrequited puppy love."

"Please believe I never meant for your heart to be broken so maliciously."

"I know you didn't. It's all behind me. I'm just glad you guys are still with me."

Spike sighed sadly.

"Come on, Twilight. Let's get this over with."

The final transition occurred. Twilight stared with a pleading expression into the camera her dragon sibling was now holding.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle. As far back as I can remember, knowledge has been my ultimate pursuit. Part of the reason for this is because I'm on the autism spectrum. My range of interests is severely limited by my mind. I was often the target of ridicule for my solitary behavior. I don't have a very strong relationship with my blood relatives, especially my brother Shining Armor since we fought a lot. He joined the military when I was in eighth grade, but I didn't approve of his motives. All he wanted to do was fight bad guys and be seen as some kind of superhero, meanwhile I just wanted everyone to have enough to eat and a roof over their heads. There are people working two and three jobs every day who can barely afford their rent. So what if they didn't go to college? I did, and while my post-secondary studies help me more effectively do my job now, they weren't necessary to secure it. Most of the strategies and tactics we use could be easily understood by seventh graders obsessed with Call of Duty and World of Warcraft."

Twilight felt frustrated beyond words, though she continued to spill her thoughts.

"I'm tired of being looked at like some cold, unfeeling monster while everyone else acts exactly the way they try to portray me. I'm just trying to fix my own broken heart by making the world better where I can..."

Tears started streaming from her eyes. Spike gave the camera to Rarity and hugged his sister.

"Go ahead and turn it off," he told the unicorn.

Rarity pressed the stop button, and the screen went black...