Cheese, CHIM, and Ponies

by SkoomasJustaStaminaPot

More joyous walking, now with exposition!

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My dreams are weird, as usual, but nothing really crazy. They simply start with my memories flowing before me as they were experienced originally, then they start having voices or phrases that weren’t originally there for me. It’s rather jarring when you’re dreaming of talking about progress on the ceasefire between Imperials and Stormcloaks when suddenly you hear Heimskr screams coming out of Elenwen’s mouth as she’s removed from the building. Granted it likely did in fact occur in some timeline or another.

Almost as odd as us actually quoting Dagoth Ur when welcoming the delegates at the time-

-Hush me! Someone’s coming!

Your rest has been interrupted!

I hold my eyes shut and keep my breath as still as possible while I prepare to cast my defensive magics. An ebonyflesh and bound armor should work. As I do this I reason that I should probably be more curious about my magic still working here, and why it seems drained, but that’s an issue for when I can afford to spend time on it. But in the meantime, it seems like whoever this visitor is they aren’t doing anything other than look at me. “You give off more than you would like to admit little pony” ooh it’s Sunny, this should be good. “It takes training for a unicorn to have the physique to keep up with my guards and then some. Especially when that unicorn was barely able to stand shortly before that. Not to mention the ease with which you seem to interact with armed guards. I do wonder if you have a military background from your homeland.” Well, I do have time in the legion, but that’s not where my physicality and calm attitude towards your guards’ weapons comes from. That comes from being used to much worse foes. They honestly don’t seem all that dangerous to me at this point, especially since our magic works normally here for reasons I will definitely look into. With my magic working I can easily wipe out a few dozen guards without preparation or sweat.

That being said, the only difference if I was without my magic would be that it would just take longer to deal with each individual guard. Even in this new body that hasn’t changed.

“Wherever you come from my not so little pony, you are under my and Equestria as a whole’s protection. So long as you obey the laws once you learn them when you’re awake and able of course. Your skills and physique are of no consequence to this fact. Perhaps you might take up residence in Canterlot, perhaps not. But if you do so I may ask you formally to involve yourself in the Guard in some capacity. It would be nice to interact and discuss with you openly rather than me simply talk at you. Your lives are too short for me to feel otherwise.” I’m having some trouble not saying anything to her. All her comments just seem to make me want to correct her. I have no intention of passing on anytime soon. That’s part of the whole reason I’m here now lady. With an audible sigh, she walks to my front, my eyes shut and spells still ready. I can’t tell what she’s looking at, but it doesn’t matter. Then with another sigh she speaks again. “I would suppose that you really are asleep then, so these questions must be asked when you awake, so I bid you dreams as sweet as they can be…sadly.” Oh such pained hesitation. There’s definitely a story in there somewhere. Well, she’s walking away from us, so we might as well sleep some more. Let’s aim for before dawn or whenever the day units stir.

-You awake feeling rested-
It feels good to awake as rested as one can be. The pre-dawn light really shows the shimmer of the dew on the leaves. Sunny seems to have disappeared for now. She comes back after sun up, so I’ll assume she was just doing some morning routine. It’s mostly quiet during breakfast and no one really asks us any meaningful questions. The pack of ponies prioritizing the precious preparation for the preparation of our predetermined point of departure over topical pleasantries. The same practiced pace of well-practiced wordless work was how we went about closing camp. There was some small talk and confirming of decisions but the packing mostly consisted of guards dismantling equipment, then briefly talking about splitting it up into their item storage. It’s still rather early into the daylight hours when Sunny, along with Tenny and the other guards from yesterday form up together with me joining in set off while the ones that came for the night fly off. Our wonderful disregard for discussion with people we don’t know strikes again. We probably could have asked about the carts the winged ones pulled the rest on. The trees have slowly thinned as we walk. The different fauna boldly going about its business as we pass them by. Curiously, we’ve not seen elk or other types of deer, so there’s a chance that they’re like the ponies in regard to their being people. We’ve been walking for a while now. I can see that we’re getting close to a settlement, road’s more open and looks better maintained, and I can hear an odd noise that sounds like a horn. No one around me finds this to be strange, so let’s just keep quiet.

We had almost equipped our old “huge enemy” equipment we kept from bygone days on reflex. It sounded dangerously similar to the sounds of some reality-bending Dwemer thing that’s awoken to [try and fail to] kill us.

Thankfully, it seems that only Sunny and Tenny noticed. I’m going to have to answer questions about my reaction. Even then only Sunny seems to realize I had reacted by tensing for battle. Tenny’s smirk tells me she finds that funny and little else, I’d expect better from a supposed captain. Or maybe she’s more focused on outside threats. Either way she didn’t realize what exactly I did. Only Sunny saw that. Judging by the look she gave me just as it happened, I’ll be asked to explain to her my behavior. Great. Here’s hoping I don’t get too paranoid sounding when I tell her the reasons for my paranoia at the sound of gushing steam. Looks like she’s about to say something. Wonderful

“Are you alright Mr. Black-Mane? You seemed upset at the sound of the train.”

“My apologies Miss Skies, I have simply not heard of this ‘train’ of which you speak. From what I heard it seemed like a large steam contraption, is that correct?”

“Indeed. The train is a line of carts pulled along a pair of rails by a steam-powered locomotive. Where we are headed is the entrance to the small town surrounding the station that holds the nexus for the many rail lines that come to Canterlot.” So benevolent steam devices are common enough to be casually revealed, this is simply fascinating! Let’s give a little and see if they tell me more.

“Fascinating! Where I come from, the only prominent steam devices exist either in ruins or very secretive research laboratories. To learn that here they are so widespread brings me joy.”

“Another difference in our home’s cultures I suppose.” Her eyes narrowed just then, she put together that I know of such ruins and labs and have likely -to her knowledge- been to them. Well she’s not wrong.

“You speak of these places as if you know of them personally, is this true?” Ah, Tenny got it too. And she probably only asked so Sunny could avoid doing so herself, well coordinated. Sadly that just shows that Tenny has more experience with verbal battles off the field rather than martial. Definitely not the kind of verbal battles I enjoy.

“Yes, the vast number of ruins in my homelands are quite astounding. Most of my life in and out of the Legion consisted largely of me exploring these many ruins. I would go so far as to say that there are more ruins than there are cities and settlements in some areas!” I think it best to not mention barrows and tombs yet, would be awkward to explain legal necromancy practices to them. I like how they set up the potential to say that my experience adventuring into the unknown had to do with my work in the legion bleeding into my civilian life, rather than the truth, which was the other way around. Why was the second thing I’m made to do by the legion in Skyrim an expedition into a ruin with a bunch of greenhorn soldiers who knew nothing about the risks of trespassing in ruins.

“Ah, might I ask why there are so many ruins? If it were as simple as the ruling government collapsing the settlements would continue to be used and gradually changed over time.” Smart Sunny, you keep probing for more information real good there.

“No, not all of the ancient cities have become ruins, but of the ones that are still inhabited, most have drastically changed the design of buildings over time so that they typically look very different from ruins from the same time period. As for the ones that did became ruins, they typically were founded or led by those who, once overthrown, held legacies that were sought to be separated from. The ones still in use officially have largely been either renovated over the years, expanded beyond the old town borders, or are overcrowded.” My throat is itching to not hold back, talking has been taking an annoying amount of focus to keep at “safe for non-tongue” levels. I really must be more exhausted than I originally thought.

Maybe we should find out just how exhausted we are that a full night’s sleep is not enough to fully recover.

This is true. But we shouldn’t when in the middle of a conversation.

“I see, that would explain why such ruins came to be. Though I must wonder why there are so many as to, as you said, outnumber in some places the currently inhabited ones?”

“Well that has more to due with how some of those societies collapsed really.”

“How so?” Say the Dwemer, they’re the ones with the least-overtly violent ends.

“Most of the settlements nowadays are more condensed and in more accessible compared to their ruin counterparts. But for an example of how such a large amount of ruins come to be from the remains of a society, let us briefly discuss a group called the Dwemer.

“Dowemer?”

“No, it’s pronounced duh-weh-murr, dwemer. It goes straight from the ‘duh’ sound to the ‘weh’, no ‘oh’ sound in between.”

“Thanks, weird name for a people.”

“Well it more has to die with the language they derived their name from. The word dwemer translated into our language means ‘Deep Mer’. They were one of the most widespread of these now ruined civilizations. They held territory and many cities across the entire top section of my home continent. Then their society’s western leaders, in an act of desperation due to their neighbors’ opposition to them, played with a force that they didn’t -and truly couldn’t- understand. That’s an unfortunate trend back home, actually.” I have to stop my story, we’re nearing what they called the station. Sunny’s eyes have widened at that, while Tenny is tense. I wonder what exactly they’re reacting that way about: the size, the implication in that they collapsed so entirely, or that I’ve paused in my story. For about 10 minutes we’ve been walking without a sound. One of the nameless guards alongside Tenny runs out of patience first.

“So what happened?” Tenny has a thankful expression, even as she facepalms. Would it be facehoof now? Facehooves? I think that’s the term to use for it, but regardless. She’s trying to hide that she wanted to hear more and that’s what she did to try to conceal it.

Stupid changes of phrases to contain horse puns and terms.

Anyhoo, “Every Dwemer alive vanished in an instant. ” All by Sunny gave small gasps. They’re like children almost with how they’re reacting to this. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m stuck as one, I’d find it adorable. They reminded me of those Dawnguard huskies and other, less hostile to people, creatures. “Yes, every Dwemer of every shape and size and walk of life seemed to simply disappear without a trace. The only thing that proves that they even existed are their many ruins and accounts of other, surviving societies interacting with them.” The guards seem horrified, but Sunny just looks sad. Not the usual kind of sad, the haunted, ‘seen it before’ kind. I think she’s still upset about the scope, but she’s not shocked that it could happen.

Interesting. She’s seen more than she lets on.

Aaand it looks like I killed the conversation. For the best really, we’re near our apparent destination now. There are some groupings of buildings that surround a massive warehouse-type structure near the foot of the mountain. I’d look more at the appearance of these buildings, but I’m too distracted by how abysmally defended this place appears to be. I’m talking no gates, I’m talking no guard towers, no nothing! This is supposed to be a key transportation hub (which I would think would be what it was called since it’s a purely transport oriented version of a trade hub), not a big price of meat to attract bandits! Ridiculous! Am I being made a joke of? “Why is such a hub so poorly defended?”

“We’re just below the capital of a prosperous nation and have regular guard patrols.” Tenny that’s not enough for a place so isolated in a forest that bandits or worse could be lurking. “There’s emergency gates and defenses at and in the station itself, with 2 tracks for trains into Canterlot proper. In an emergency ponies are to evacuate to the station and take the emergency lines up into the city. Besides, the rail station and the residential area is built inside the mountain itself, so there are tunnels leading into the mountain and separate escape tunnels as well. As for the risk of collapse, they’re too close to Canterlot’s own protective enchantments to have any dangers of that. The mythical Tirek himself couldn’t scratch those things.” Ok, better than I thought. Still sceptical-wait, what’s a Tirek? Not now, we can look into it later.

That doesn’t detract from their haphazard defense from attacking forces you fools.They seem to have focused on exclusively the structural defense from bombardment, rather than defending residents from invasion. The only less-defended settlement I can compare it with from back home were the Ashlander villagers, and they had the excuse of being nomads that regularly moved! Even then the permanent defenses did nothing against what happened. We failed them. We always fail them.

They’ve gotten pensive at that, especially Sunny. She’s really giving away her deeper investment in the safety of ’her ponies’. I wonder if this is a Balgruf level of discretely being amongst her people kept secret besides her guards and the like. The question is how important is she that she’d have to go that far to freely move.

“You make a good point, but from what I have heard, this town is declining in lieu of a smaller rail hub specifically tailored for train switching is being developed near Ponyville. Because of that, Horn’s Deep is likely going to decline to being little more than a stop just before the tunnel leading up to Canterlot. Still worth protecting and lively, but sadly not important enough for a vast redesign of defenses.” Thank you Sunny for your marvelous exposition, truly informative. Tenny seems unamused at that, while the nearby guards looking nervous. More evidence that she’s someone high up. “But alas, it is the will of the bureaucrats and the fine ponies in charge of the budget that are the deciding factor. The guards would likely have a different opinion.”

“Absolutely ma’am. I’d personally prefer at the very least more guards patrolling the area, more if it were in my power.” Tenny comes in and leaps at the opening. “But more priority has been going to the defenses for the new docks put up in Canterlot. I’ve heard they’re treating the railway like it’s now only worth use by rail enthusiasts and the common rabble compared to their brand new flying toys. The guard will likely have to wait until the novelty of airships and the construction of their support systems passes before any changes not of national security can be done.” Alas, an excellent point she makes, the novelty of new things is quite potent with the useless nobles. The guard will have to wait a while if the nobles control the budget for new projects. It really can’t be helped if that’s the cas-wait a second.

“Excuse me, excuse me, but did you just say airships? As in flying ships?” Oh please let it be so! I knew this place is more technologically advanced than Tamriel was when I left, but this! Airships! I haven’t seen those since I wasn’t me! Oh this is exciting, this place is shaping to much further in technology and magic than a vast majority of Tamriel is. Was. When I left.

“Yes, they seem to have become the latest craze for the nobles to have. I am afraid that any attempt to build any practical ships will be delayed until the newly constructed shipyards and docks are free from the swath of nobles prioritizing the creation of their yachts.”

“It can't really be helped ma’am. Without the nobles the airship would’ve taken years to develop into what it is now.” Past the initial buildings, most of which seem to be warehouses, we’re seeing more ponies walking about on daily routine. They seem to have quite a large diversity of colors and come in all combinations of limbs. Some waved hello with their forelegs at the semi-casual procession of guards.

“True, their interest in the concept for their pleasure has bankrolled their development from the small prototype into something that can benefit the entire country and beyond in regard to trade.” Ah, that is a good point they make. It would appear that the investment of the nobility in the airship is being paid back in priority for their yachts. And that’s before any other potential profit for them and the companies. The Dwemer had a small fleet of them way back when, but their underground isolation gave benefit to more subterranean modes of trade. At least with the cities that regularly interacted with each other. The Dwemer were a very closed off race.

“That sounds amazing. I have little doubt in how beneficial those ships will be.” Passing through the rows of warehouses, I can already see some showing signs of decline. Some buildings seem to have a less maintained appearance. “You said we were taking a train, is there a scheduled time?”

“Yes. Let us make haste, so that we may have all of our company travel with us for this final stretch.”

”“Yes ma’am!”” Was the resounding reply from the gaggle of guards around us. The station is coming into view now, it appears to be a brick building with many different sets of rails flowing into it. I can see what I can only assume to be the carts for cargo and passenger trains up on sets of rail that come to an end shortly after they start. I can’t see anything that would be the locomotive device, but there seems to be a lot of steam coming from the building the rails lead into, so I guess there’s that sight to look forward to. We’ve come to some steps leading up to a pair of doors and our little posse head on up and begin to enter. First Tenny, then a handful of guards, then Sunny, now it’s our turn. I am not disappointed with what I see.

Wow. “So that’s a train.” Before me lies a separate pavilion inside the building. There seems to be a pony wearing some kind of vest within, but what’s important is the magnificent sight sitting on the rails. A large cylinder several ponies long, with a multitude of small pipes and nozzles jutting from it, with steam coming out of several. The cylinder has some kind of plow-shaped metal cage attached at the front end, along with a few lamps that some non flammable source of light that I can’t determine without taking it apart. Along the diameter of the front end of the cylinder there’s some kind of reinforced hatch with over a dozen large rivets holding it together alongside the welds on the circumference. Above this flat front end, there’s a pipe chimney with even more steam coming out of it, and sometimes more fire. At the rear of the cylinder there’s a small structure that has a few ponies inside moving around, with a large metal box linked to it by metal claws and strangely flexible pipes. The whole great thing seems to be on rails that are depressed into the floor, with those same types of cars as outside hooked up behind the box. The only thing I can think of besides my intellectual curiosity and awe at the moment is question why it was colored pink.

“An impressive sight, is it not?” Yes it is Sunny. Not Dwemer level, but yes.

“Quite. I haven’t seen such a large steam contraption since my last time in a Dwemer ruin.” Which we avoided like the plague. Stupid betrayed snow elf descendants and their pet chaurus.

“Oh? These Dwemer had steam power? Yet your home did not have steam widespread? For what reason?” Says Sunny as Tenny shows the pony in the vest a scroll, to which the pony flusters and calls other workers and starts giving them orders. Probably requisitioning a train for us. Who knows, let the background do its thing. Got used to that ages ago when dealing with nobles and suchlike.

“Unfortunately, my homeland lost much of its large scale technological advances over the years due to a tendency for records of them being lost with examples being either destroyed or too remote to reverse-engineer.

“Why would this occur?”

“Varies really. Sometimes a catastrophe, other times society just naturally declines, or people associate the advancements with things they despise and thus shun. The end result is the same: very little besides day to day quality of life developments, mainly sanitation and agricultural advances, remain widespread.” Please don’t ask about the catastrophes. I don’t want to discuss the end of the third era, or the decline of the elves- or the reasons why that one wasn’t entirely a bad thing.

“Are such catastrophes so common that you would mention them in passing?” Aww, Sunny looks sad. Well that just confirms that these ponies are adorable.

“I would guess so, but it’s been centuries since the last real one happened. Besides the two largest recent examples of technological decline have been from incidents that did more to create cultural instability rather than from any cataclysm.” Both examples separated by the Septim line to be exact. “These kinds of things are rare anyway, so it’s fine. More importantly, what is this contraption called and where do we get on?” The majority of the armored ponies are getting on the thing while others are boarding those fancy carts some of the winged ones were pulling. Some of the winged ones that weren’t doing the former two actions were stretching their wings and making some sort of formation. A uniformed pony with a horn has walked up from the group working the desk at the front of the office.

“Hello Mares and Gentlestallions, I presume that you are the leaders of this group of guards correct?” Tenny nodded to him while Sunny seemed to step back. “Good, then you can come with me to board.” He waves us to follow him towards the contraption while beginning to blabber “I must confess we were quite surprised when we heard yesterday that there was going to be an emergency deployment drill and expedition. However as we are trained here at the Royal Equestrian Railroad that if the guard is to deploy then we ask where and when, the train has been prepared and on standby since it’s arrival from Canterlot yesterday morning.” Hmm, so it’s called a train, neat. Maybe it’s derived from wagon trains? “The train itself is mostly the same as yesterday but with two additional freight cars that were requested for your logistical equipment. May I ask who along you officers is the commander? We have a few required forms for you to sign off on once we get onboard for confirmation of boarding.” Tenny sighs at that one, then nods in confirmation to him. The stallion then has us follow him up to a stairway into one of the shed-like carts. Upon entering, were greeted with rows of benches with tables in between next to the windows. Better than most carriages at least, so that’s nice.

“Alright then, you all go on ahead into your seats, I’ll join you later.” Tenny said, turning to follow the attendant to do whatever paperwork they’re doing.

“Well then, let’s sit.” At Sunny’s cue, we got into one of the benches; now that was hard to get right the first time, almost fell off. We pretty much just sat there in a kind of awkward silence until Tenny walked through the door to the next segment. Once we sat the attendant walked up and said goodbye and left the train. I can hear the steam of the engine getting louder, we’re most likely about to- kachunk- and in a great shudder the whole train lurches forwards at a slow pace. Well that was startling. Well, at least we can relax on our way, watching the scenery go by.


Author's Note

Me when writing:

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