Another night with the Lunar guard

by Light Heart101

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Royal Guard
Length: 1114

Every night the Lunar guard is ready for anything. However, it doesn't mean that they don't have their own antics.

Every night Captian Night Howler goes over all of the events of his men and report it to Princess Luna. He only has one goal, understand what's going on and make it as simple as possible.

Published 2019-06-09 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-09 02:30:01 UTC

One report.

Captian Night Howler was busy at work at his desk. He was one of the sharpest Thestrals in Equestria, so he was excited when he was elected to be placed in charge of the Lunar guard. However, if he knew that his whole career was going to be behind a desk, then he would have taken a job as an explorer. All he ever did anymore was just sit behind a desk and listen to the other Thestrals that worked the night shift and write it down.

The worst part is that his attention to detail became a flaw early on. On his first night, he had written a fully detailed report and was ready to give it to his princess. He then learned about how tired and impatient she gets when the sun comes up.

"Why do you have to make things so long and complicated. Save that for my sister's records. When you bring a report I want it as short and as simple as possible."

The scolding he got from her rang in his ears to this day. Ever since then he tried to find every way to keep his reports for Luna quick and to the point. For the most part, it was just a matter of ignoring the normal routine and focusing on unique events.

This night was one of those typical nights for the most part. He was ready for another "Nothing to report" talks before a guard walked in. "Corporal Light Lullaby reporting sir!"

"At ease. What seems to be the problem?"

She gulped nervously as she was trying to speak. "I know that this is short notice sir, but I'm turning in my letter of resignation."

Night was a little taken back by this. He normally has ponies quit due to the high stress or the low pay, but he never expected this Thestral to quit. He kept calm as he tried to identify the source of the problem before he let her go. "May I ask why you're quitting now? You've been here for so long and have moved high in the rankings. Why would that change?"

She blushed a little bit as she tried to speak. "I've just learned that I'm pregnant. I'm almost two months in now and am starting to have problems fulfilling my duties. I now need to focus more on my family and caring for them now. I'm sorry."

Night sighed a bit as he went through her paperwork. "Don't be. Your family is more important than this job. I know that a lot of ponies here wouldn't mind taking a few months... if they weren't pregnant. Is it alright if you tell me what your position was?"

She nodded. "I was a part of the mobile Thestral unit for managing weather threats. I am also one of the two assigned Weather Hight Evaluation and Execution Liaison for the Lunar and Royal guard. Our job was to evaluate any weather anomalies and be able to execute a way to defuse the situation. I'm sorry that I couldn't wait until you found a new liaison to replace me."

Night stood up and shook her hoof. "You let us worry about that. I'll make sure that you get an honorable discharge. Equestria thanks you for your service. You are dismissed."

As Light saluted for the last time as she walked out. Night knew that it would be hard to replace her, but that was a job for his superiors. All he had to do was write the report and notify Luna. As he was getting the paperwork together he started hearing a lot of the guards yelling at somebody outside of the building.

"Stop! Drop that paint can! You're under arrest!"

He knew that it had to be one pony, the comedic vandaliser. Some pony was writing insults on the palace walls at night. Most of them were directed at the princesses like "Celestia's so fat, she plays pool with the planets." or "Luna is so ugly, Nightmare Moon is just what she looks like without three gallons of makeup."

The Lunar guard had made it a major priority to catch whoever was doing it. Cleaning the walls alone was a tedious task, but now the princesses were constantly checking up with them on the status of the criminal. Night quickly ran outside, hoping that this pony was finally caught.

As he made it outside, he found three guards arguing with each other. As soon as he cleared his throat the guards stood at attention. "Alright, what happened?"

The head guard looked nervous as he stepped forward. "Uh, the vandaliser stuck again sir."

Night turned around to see the writing all over the wall. "Celestia is a lazy bum? Luna is a FAT lazy bum! Twilight is... hehe wanting the promotion to lazy bum. Why didn't you catch the culprit?"

The guard pointed to the others. "I said that I was going to handle it, but they wanted all of the glory."

He knew it. Those knuckleheads saw this as an easy promotion and wanted to catch the criminal on their own. "I don't care who catches the vandaliser, all I care about is that he or she gets caught! As soon as your shift is over you'll be cleaning this wall, then tomorrow you'll be meeting some more guards because I'm going to assign a double shift so we might be able to end this once and for all. Do you understand?"

The guards all lowered their heads. "Yes, sir."

Night sighed in frustration as he stormed back inside. Right as he reached the door he saw the moon set and the sun rising in its place. Night knew that it was time for him to talk to Luna. He quickly made his way upstairs and into Luna's bedroom. She looked a lot more irritated than normal with dark bags under her eyes.

She groaned as she looked like she was ready to have gone to sleep three hours ago. "Listen, all I want to do is go to bed, so here's what I want. I only want the highlights and I want it in fifteen words or less. Now hurry up so I can go to sleep."

Night saluted as he tried to think of the easiest way to explain it. "Yes, your highness! The bat mobile has lost a W.H.E.E.L., and the joker got away."

As he turned around to leave he found himself being levitated towards Luna. She had a confused look on her face as she stared at her guard. "Alright, I'm intrigued. Start talking."

Author's Note

NO SHAME!!!!!!!

I got bored.