Foal Fever

by Ponibius

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Adventure
Length: 21166

Trixie has looked forward to her date with Starlight, but her hopes are dashed when she finds Starlight dragging her into taking care of Flurry Heart. Still, between them, how hard could watching a foal for a few hours be?

The Great and Powerful Trixie has eagerly been looking forward to her date with Starlight Glimmer, but her hopes of a wonderful evening with her fillyfriend are dashed when she finds Starlight taking care of Flurry Heart. Now Trixie finds stuck herself helping with the royal foal. Still, it’s only for a little bit, and the worst of Flurry’s magical outbursts are surely long behind her—between her and her fillyfriend, how hard could watching a foal for a few hours really be?

A standalone Winningverse story.

Published 2019-06-04 19:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-24 18:51:55 UTC

Foal Trouble

The day of Trixie’s momentous return to Ponyville had come, as well as her date with her wonderful fillyfriend Starlight. For weeks she had been touring across Equestria to give the ponies and other intelligent species of the world a show the likes of which they would never forget. But as much as Trixie liked to benefit the world with her presence, she still liked to take some time off tour for some extremely well-deserved rest. After all, what was the point of working so hard for her well earned bits if she couldn’t spend and enjoy them? Other than also gaining fame and the adoration of others, in any event.

Trixie had planned everything perfectly. One of the things she regretted about always being on the road was that it took her away from her special somepony. They had tried to go on a tour together once, but it hadn’t worked out so well. Trixie definitely wasn’t still bitter about the time Starlight had sold her cart—her home and place of business—without her permission. She was supremely magnanimous like that. Still, going on trips together was something they hadn’t worked out between them yet.

In any event, those lonely nights in her cart gave her plenty of time to plan and prepare for when she did return to Ponyville. On the way to the Friendship Castle she gathered what she needed to have the perfect romantic evening in with her partner. She purchased some flowers, something nice to drink, some popcorn, and a few reels of film.

Admittedly, one of the nice things about Starlight living with a princess was that Twilight had more than enough room to have her own personal movie theater, and Trixie had every intention of taking advantage of that. Her preparations complete, she headed to the Friendship Castle—or whatever it was the tree shaped castle made of dark and pointy crystals was called. Really, Trixie thought it was an eyesore compared to the rest of the architecture in Ponyville, and mildly sinister-looking under the right light, but what could you do? Still, Trixie had to admit after committing treason, breaking and entering, assaulting a princess, and nearly destroying Equestria by time traveling in order to commit petty revenge, getting ‘punished’ with living in a castle rent-free wasn’t bad. It made Trixie wonder if she should have waited until after Princess Twilight had gotten her wings to attempt her revenge. Things might have gone much easier for Trixie if Starlight was any indication of Princess Twilight’s standards for punishment.

Upon arriving at the castle, Trixie opened the door and loudly declared, “The Great and Powerful Trixie is here! You may applaud.” Her grand entrance was met with equally grand silence as the guards that flanked the gate stood impassively on either side of the entrance. She sighed. “Some day that will actually happen if Trixie keeps trying.”

Trixie wasn’t about to let that keep her down, though. She went searching about the castle for her fillyfriend and soon found Starlight in the castle’s living room. Starlight had her back to her, so Trixie cleared her throat to get her attention as she presented the items she had gathered for what she knew would make for a glorious night in. “Starlight, your great and wonderful special somepony is here, and I have everything ready for our night in! Popcorn popped, movie projector secured, and several of our favorite films lined up!” She waggled her eyebrows. “And, of course, a comfy sofa and a blanket to snuggle under.”

Starlight turned around. Trixie was not met with the happy smile she had expected, but the wails of the foal Starlight held in her forelegs. “Oh, hey Trixie.” She gave Trixie a tired smile. “Good to see you.”

Starlight looked like she had seen better days. There were bags under her eyes, her mane looked liked the edges had been burned away, and a splotch of … something clung to her chest. The living room was a mess. Toys were spread randomly about the floor, couch cushions had been strewn everywhere, and general chaos reigned. Trixie quickly surmised the cause of her fillyfriend’s distress. While she had never personally met the infant princess of the Crystal Empire, she had seen enough pictures of Princess Flurry Heart in the newspapers to recognize her. Even if she had not immediately identified Flurry, the mere fact she was an alicorn would have been a dead giveaway to her identity. She also had a pair of lungs that threatened to burst Trixie’s eardrums.

Trixie flattened her ears to her head. While she was accustomed to the adulations of her cheering audiences, she normally had a spell up to protect her hearing from the noise. “Um, Starlight, I don't know if you noticed, but you're holding a baby.” After a moment she added, “A baby alicorn.”

Starlight’s smile became brittle along the edges, and she presented the crying foal to Trixie. “Right, Trixie, this is Princess Flurry Heart. Flurry, this is Trixie, my special somepony.” Flurry sniffed as she briefly stopped crying to examine this new pony presented to her, her nose wrinkling before she made her royal displeasure known to all.

Starlight pulled Flurry closer and started patting her back to try and comfort the foal. “Flurry's parents dropped her off at the castle the other day so that she could spend some time with her aunt, but then Twilight woke up with feather flu and didn't want to risk Flurry getting sick. I volunteered to take over with Flurry until she gets better.”

“Oh.” That all seemed reasonable to Trixie except for one particular point. “And you're doing this because...?”

Starlight frowned as she tried to console Flurry. “Because I wanted to prove to her I can be responsible, and she can trust me with things like this if need be. And what bigger responsibility can she give me than to take care of her niece while she gets better?” She let out a huff. “Twilight was a bit reluctant at first, but I told her that I’ve ruled a whole village with an iron hoof before, so I’m more than capable of taking care of a single foal.”

“That ... makes sense.” Putting aside Starlight’s less than immaculate past, her haggard appearance and the disheveled state of the living room still suggested to Trixie that Starlight was having more trouble than she was letting on. Still, Trixie didn’t like the fact that her time with Starlight was getting interrupted. Though she surmised there might be a way to salvage this. If there was somepony else that could take over for taking care of Flurry... “So why didn't Twilight ask someone else to do it?”

Starlight’s frown deepened at the question. “Because no one else is available. Pinkie's busy doing a big delivery, Rainbow and Rarity are both out of town on business, Spike's visiting Thorax, Fluttershy's at some sort of animal caretaker convention, and it's harvesting season at Sweet Apple Acres. Besides, I volunteered.”

Flurry’s cries went from being merely loud to threatening to break glass. Starlight glanced around before levitating a stuffed snail toy in front of the foal. “Here you go, Flurry. Do you want Whammy?”

“Whammy!” Flurry grasped the snail and started chewing on it, much to the relief of Starlight and Trixie’s hearing.

Starlight let out a relieved sigh. “She really likes her Whammy.”

“Riiight.” Trixie flicked her hoof in a dismissive wave. “What about the servants? Can’t they take care of Flurry? Isn't that what they're for?”

To Trixie’s surprise, instead of complimenting Trixie for her naturally brilliant idea, Starlight scowled at her. “Don't you think I can do this?”

“Trixie never said that,” Trixie was very quick to say, sensing she may just have unwittingly stepped into a bear trap.

Starlight glowered at Trixie. “Maybe you didn’t say it, but you’re thinking it.”

That drew a suspicious glower from Trixie. “Starlight, please tell me you’re not using mind magic again.”

“It’s just a saying!” Starlight protested. “I’m not using any kind of mind magic this time!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “‘This time’?”

“Not what I meant!” Starlight let out a long groan. “My point is, I can do this. I am perfectly capable of taking care of a foal for a while and I am going to prove it.” She looked around herself and the chaos of the living room before putting on a shaky smile. “The two of us have been having a lot of fun. Isn’t that right, Flurry?”

Flurry hiccuped and then disappeared in a flash of magic. The future ruler of the Crystal Empire reappeared near the ceiling and started plummeting to the ground. Starlight yelped and cast a levitation spell as quickly as she could to keep the heir apparent from crashing to the ground. Starlight held the foal and pulled her to her chest, letting out a relieved sigh as Flurry squealed in delight.

Trixie blinked at what had just happened. Teleportation was supposed to be a complicated and difficult spell to cast—at least if you didn’t want to risk teleporting yourself into a wall and all the unpleasant consequences that came with that kind of A-Class screwup. “What did she just... She can do teleport?!”

“Among other things,” Starlight mumbled darkly. “You know how unicorn foals can have bursts of wild magic and do really weird things? That goes double for alicorns.”

“Like how she destroyed the Crystal Heart and nearly doomed the entire Crystal Empire to becoming a frozen wasteland?” Trixie had heard the story from Starlight herself, as fantastical as it sounded. The whole incident made her all the more incredulous about the idea of her fillyfriend trying to take care of the foal.

Starlight groaned as she rubbed her face. “She’s a bit high maintenance. She’s definitely been keeping me on my toes since I took over taking care of her.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow at Starlight’s bedraggled appearance. “You're sure you need to do this?”

Starlight glowered at Trixie. “Yes, I want to do this. And like I told Twilight, I can do this.”

“Trixie is sure you can.” Trixie huffed and rolled her eyes. “Though in case you forgot, we were supposed to have a date this evening. Something we scheduled before Trixie left.”

Starlight groaned as she rubbed the side of her temple. “Okay, I might have forgotten about that, but this emergency just came up and I just can't go on a date with you right now. I have to keep a close eye on Flurry, and make sure she's fed and has clean diapers, takes her regularly scheduled naps, keep her from shattering the walls of reality, and a dozen other things.”

Trixie twitched. “Wait, what was that one about shattering reality?”

“Nothing!” Starlight put on a shaky smile. “Nothing at all to worry about. It only happened once. Nothing I can’t handle if it comes up again.”

“Ooor we could hire a foalsitter, then go out and have fun.” Trixie thought this was the perfect solution to the problem. It was perfectly responsible, and would let them continue with their date as planned. She was confident there wasn’t a better idea out there.

Instead of jumping at Trixie’s perfectly reasonable solution to their woes, Starlight tightened her hold on Flurry and scowled at Trixie. “Listen, do you want to help me do this or not?”

Trixie flinched. “Of course Trixie wants to help you!” She bit her lip. “What do you need Trixie to do?”

Starlight let out a relieved sigh and nuzzled Trixie. “Great! Mind helping me clean this place up?” An awkward smile worked its way onto her face as she glanced around the chaotic living room. “Flurry and I made a bit of a mess playing.”

A blast of magic shot from Flurry’s horn and blew apart a tower of blocks, and she laughed in delight. Trixie couldn’t help but think that laugh sounded just a little bit evil.

Trixie sighed, resigning herself to an evening she hadn’t wanted. “Trixie can do that.”

It took a couple of hours, but working together and countering Flurry’s consistent attempts to foil them, they managed to return the living room to a presentable state. Starlight put the last of Flurry’s toys back into her toy chest and closed it, letting out a relieved sigh as she did so. “Alright, I think that does it.”

“Indeed.” Trixie wiped her brow before checking on Flurry. The foal was lying on a blanket on the floor, her eyes closed as her side rhythmically rose and fell. “And it looks like she's asleep for now.”

“Thank goodness.” Starlight collapsed onto the couch with a groan. “I was worried I'd never get her to settle down.”

“Well, now that she is maybe we can relax a little.” Trixie sat next to Starlight and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Starlight smiled. “That would be nice. I knew taking care of a foal was a lot of work, but sheesh.”

“True, but now that the Great and Powerful Trixie is here, you need not worry.” Trixie nuzzled her fillyfriend. “So, want to watch a movie?”

“That sounds nice,” Starlight said. “What do you have available?”

“Well...” Trixie levitated over the several rolls of the film she had brought with her. “What were you in the mood for? Romance? Action? Magic? Romance?”

“Hm, let’s see what we’ve got here.” Starlight looked over the titles and her frown grew as she did so. “I’m not sure we can watch any of these.”

Trixie blinked in surprise. “What’s the matter with what I brought?”

“None of them are exactly kid-friendly.” Starlight nodded in Flurry’s direction. “We can’t just show her anything, you know.”

Trixie wasn’t really sure about that. What would a child as young as Flurry even remember from anything she watched? She couldn’t possibly traumatize a child that badly as long as whatever they watched wasn’t too bad. It’s not like Trixie had brought movies full of blood, gore, swearing, and other things a child shouldn’t see.

Still, Flurry’s aunt and parents might not see it that way, and they were royalty and could make things difficult for her in any number of ways. “Oh. Um ... hmm. Well then... Trixie wasn't exactly thinking kid-friendly when picking entertainment.”

“Right, let’s see if Cadance and Shining left something for Flurry.” Starlight reluctantly got off the couch and went to the several bags the royal parents had left with Twilight. Packed with all the love and worry of first time parents, it wasn’t too long before she pulled a roll of film out. “Ah, here we go.”

She levitated it over for Trixie to see, and she didn’t like what she saw. “The Happy Hearthswarming Home?” Trixie frowned at the film’s cover with its ridiculously cute googly-eyed cartoon of a filly.

Starlight shrugged. “Maybe it's better than it looks?”

Flurry’s ears perked and she got up with a yawn. She toddled over to her impromptu guardians and burbled happily at the sight of the film. That made one in three who fully approved of the film, but to Trixie’s lament, only the pint-sized princess’s opinion seemed to matter. Such tended to be the way in monarchies.

“Well ... Trixie supposes we could watch it,” Trixie said with a sigh. “It's what Flurry wants, after all.”

Flurry squealed and hugged Trixie’s leg, making Trixie very unsure how to react.

“And you brought some popcorn as well?” Starlight asked. “Preferably some with plenty of butter on it?”

“Yes, Trixie did.” Trixie levitated over the bags of unpopped popcorn, but then glanced down at Flurry, who was smiling up at her. The foal’s gaze was locked on the popcorn and the cholesterol-flavored promises they presented. “Is she old enough for solid food?”

Starlight pressed her lips together. “Err, maybe soft foods. I think. Probably.”

“Popcorn is soft, right?”

“Right, so it should be alright.” Starlight sauntered up next to Trixie and nuzzled her. “So how about we get to the theater, get a drink, settle down, and relax for a while?”

Trixie nuzzled back. “Considering that was Trixie’s wonderful idea all along, she thinks that would be a great id—”

She was interrupted when Flurry drew in a great breath and sneezed loudly. Her horn crackled with energy which streaked out in wild discordiant sparks. The sparks popped in the air and a black crack formed out of nowhere.

Trixie blinked and instinctively backed away. She sensed ... something from the crack, and she didn’t like it. “What is that?!”

Starlight groaned and facehooved. “Oh no, not again.”

Trixie’s jaw dropped. “‘Again’?! This has happened before?!”

Starlight took a long breath of exasperation before picking up Flurry. “I don't know why, but every once in a while Flurry accidentally creates cracks in the walls of reali—whoa!”

Several black and leathery tenacles shot out from the crack and wrapped themselves around Trixie. To Trixie’s disgust, they were wet and slimy, though of more immediate concern was the fact they were dragging her towards the crack. As is a natural reaction in such circumstances, Trixie screamed. “Starlight!”

“Trixie!” Starlight fired a blast of magic that started cutting off the tentacles. Flurry laughed, sounding more than a little bit maniacal under the circumstances to Trixie. Before Starlight finished cutting off the last of the tentacles, Trixie got a good look at what waited for her on the other side of the crack—something distorted, and absurd that would be in her nightmares for the next forever.

When the last of the tentacles was severed by a blast of magic Trixie scrambled away from the rift and behind Starlight. “GYAH! Closeitcloseitcloseit!”

“On it!” A beam of magic shot from Starlight’s horn and struck the rift. Starlight grunted with effort as the crack slowly closed. When it was finally done, Starlight gasped for breath. “I really hope she doesn't keep doing that. Closing those cracks in reality is exhausting. I don't know how Twilight keeps up with it.”

Trixie yanked off the severed tentacles still stubbornly attached to her. They flopped to the ground and continued twitching, spurting green fluids onto the floor. “Then why doesn't she have a suppression ring on?!”

Starlight frowned at the giggling Flurry. Whether she was oblivious to the abuse she was inflicting on her caretakers and reality in general, or sincerely enjoying the chaos she wrought was anyone’s guess. “I. Don't. Know.”

After she pulled the last of the tentacles off of her, Trixie backed away from them and caught her breath. “Didn't they do some sort of magical ritual to stop her from doing this kind of thing?”

“The crystalling? Yeah, they did.” Starlight cautiously lifted the tentacles with her magic, set them on fire, and then tossed them into the fireplace. “I thought that fixed the problem. Maybe this is something new? Or the old problems came up? I don’t know, I’m not her parents.”

“This is clearly a problem, Starlight!” Trixie jabbed a hoof in the direction of where the rift had been. “This is not normal! This is the exact opposite of normal! Trixie almost got sucked into...” She shivered as her coping mechanisms desperately tried to keep her from thinking too hard about what she’d just seen. “Point is, Trixie doesn’t want that to happen again.”

“This might be normal for an alicorn foal,” Starlight said, not sounding like she was convincing even herself. “We don’t know. There’s never been a comprehensive study of alicorn foals.”

“Then Celestia help us if Cadance decides to have more kids, or Twilight actually manages to hook up with somepony.” Trixie had her doubts reality could take that kind of abuse.

“Whatever, it's my job to take care of Flurry until Twilight gets better or her parents return.” Starlight looked at the mess this latest Flurry-incident had caused. “And looks like all our work to clean this place up got messed up too.”

“That seems to be the least of our problems,” Trixie commented. “What if Flurry does ... that again? Or something even worse?”

“We’ll deal with it.” To Trixie’s surprise, Starlight gently pushed Flurry into her arms. “But for now, this mess can wait. I desperately need a shower, and I want to feel relatively equine before we sit down to watch a movie and relax. Mind taking care of Flurry for a few minutes while I take care of that?”

Trixie’s eyes widened as she found herself carrying a miniature pony. “B-b-but Trixie doesn’t know how to take care of a foal! Trixie’s never done this before. I don’t even know how to properly carry one!”

“It’s not that hard.” Starlight moved Trixie’s arms so that she more easily held Flurry. “All I need is fifteen minutes. You can take care of a foal for that long.”

“But what if she rips apart reality again?” Trixie demanded. “Or has another wild magic burst like causing Trixie to get stuck in a time loop from which there is no escape and Trixie dies over and over and over again in increasingly stupid but comical ways?”

“You’re a strong independent mare, Trixie,” Starlight announced as she turned to leave. “You’ll manage.”

Trixie tried to raise more protests, but by then Starlight was gone, leaving her with Flurry. The weight of the responsibility soon pressed down on her. She was now the sole pony in the room with the heir to the Crystal Empire. What if something happened to Flurry while Starlight was gone? What if she dropped Flurry? Would she be thrown in the dungeons, or worse? Would her name get plastered over all the newspapers, each of them denouncing her as the worst foalsitter of all time, and the pony that had ruined the future of the Crystal Empire? Trixie did not feel ready for this responsibility.

Trixie took a long breath to push down the bubbling panic that welled up within her. She was the Great and Powerful Trixie, a magician whose feats were told all across Equestria and beyond. She could handle taking care of a foal for a few minutes. Right?

“Um ... Well okay then.” Trixie bounced Flurry in place. That was something parents did with their foals, right? “Trixie can do this.”

Flurry’s horn glowed and Whammy popped into existence in her hooves. “Whammy!” she proudly declared before she started chewing on her favorite toy.

Trixie put on a shaky smile. “Yes, I see your snail toy.”

Flurry wrinkled her nose, and then a very distinctive smell wafted its way up to Trixie’s nose.

“Oh no.” Trixie held Flurry out, not wanting to think about the state of her diaper. She stared into the foal’s mischievous smile and glowered. “You did that on purpose to vex Trixie, didn’t you?”

Flurry giggled. “Inky!”

Trixie was terribly tempted to go running to Starlight, but she stopped herself. If she stopped Starlight from getting her shower now then who knew how long it would take for her to actually get her show? As bad as the need for a diaper change was, at least it was a relatively normal problem to deal with. Flurry hadn’t summoned some gibbering insanity from who knows where, but next time that or something equivalent might happen, and that was not something Trixie wanted to deal with. No, best to take care of this problem herself so that Starlight could return and properly take over this chore she had saddled herself with. Of course, that left Trixie with the issue that she was going to have to change Flurry herself.

Trixie let out a long-suffering sigh. “The things Trixie does for love.” She looked around for supplies to do the foul deed, and it didn’t take her long to find what she needed in the bags the royal couple had left for their foal. There were diapers, diapers, and more diapers to work with, as well as baby powder and anything else Trixie could want.

Trixie was a mare of the world, and had traveled with a great variety of people during her travels, some of whom included parents with their foals. She knew the basics for how to change a diaper, even if there was a big difference between the theory of the act and practical execution. Matters were not helped when Flurry kept trying to crawl away, or on a couple occasions, teleport away. What should have taken a few minutes had turned into what felt like an arduous eternity for Trixie. But she did complete the task.

Trixie wiped her brow and sighed with relief. “Well, that was something for Trixie to never do again.”

“Inky!” Flurry giggled and returned to chewing on her favorite toy.

“Yes, no more stinky, please. Pretty please?” Trixie picked Flurry up and patted her back. “Trixie was not made for diaper changes. Now then, while we’re waiting on Starlight why don't we do something nice and relaaaah!”

Trixie cried out in surprise when she found somepony standing right behind her. Princess Twilight stood motionless, staring unblinkingly as she smiled right at Trixie, and there was something decidedly off about her old semi-nemesis. For one, she was glowing and sparkling. That was new. Still, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing Trixie had seen that hour, so she could work with this. Especially if it got Flurry off their hooves and her and Starlight could return to their planned date.

Trixie sighed in relief. “Oh thank Celestia, you got over the flu. Now you can take over with the child and...” She moved to give the foal over, but then stopped herself as she re-assessed the situation in front of her. “Why are you glowing and sparkling? Please tell Trixie that's just a sign that you're really healthy.”

The glowing Twilight continued perpetually smiling in a way that unsettled Trixie, and instead of answering her question spoke in a monotone voice. “The child needs to be purified.”

Flurry recoiled from the thing that looked like her aunt and grasped onto Trixie. It was all Trixie could do not to immediately bolt, and her eyes darted to the door. Whatever she was dealing with, she sensed it was way over her head. “You're not Twilight, are you?”

Not-Twilight’s head shook slightly. “The child needs to be purified,” she repeated.

Now positive something was definitely off, Trixie took a step back and away. “Trixie ... probably can't let you do that.”

Not-Twilight continued to slowly approach Trixie, and soon the pair of them were in a slow motion race around the couch. “If the child is not purified, darkness shall reign and an everlasting cold shall descend to create disharmony in the hearts of all. Hers are the cries of an oncoming eternal despair.”

Trixie didn’t know what was going on, but she was pretty sure this was bad news. Part of her was tempted to just give the foal over to whatever this thing was to stop it from following her, but in the end she decided against it. Starlight would no doubt be ticked if she did that, not to even mention Flurry’s parents and aunt. “Trixie doesn't know who you are, but she won't let you do that.”

Not-Twilight continued chasing them, but to Trixie’s relief Starlight entered the living room, her eyes widening at the sight before her.

“Starlight! Help!” Trixie nearly tripped over the arm of the couch but regained her bearings to maintain the slow-paced chase. Flurry continued to hold onto her and whine at the presence of the Not-Twilight. “Trixie is relatively sure that isn't Twilight and it keeps following me!”

Starlight sighed and applied her hoof to her face. “Oh no, not this again.”

“‘Again’? Again with the ‘agains’! What do you mean ‘again’?!”

Starlight inserted herself between Trixie and Not-Twilight. “It's some sort of manifestation of the Tree of Harmony, or of Harmony itself—something like that. If you want an exact answer you would have to ask Twilight, she's better at theoretics than I am.” She glowered at the Manifestation of Harmony. “And it's usually nothing but trouble when it shows up.”

“So what does it want?” Trixie asked, relieved to see the spirit stop chasing her, at least for the moment.

Starlight gave the Manifestation a wary stare. “Usually to spread harmony. Though sometimes its methods are a bit .... questionable.”

“What do you mean by questionable?” Trixie asked as she tried not to stare too deeply into the Manifestation’s blank gaze.

“As in putting people through dangerous tests of character.”

Trixie glowered at Starlight. “That sounds bad. Trixie is as perfect as anypony can get, but she doesn’t want to have her character tested. She got quite tired of tests back in school.”

Starlight groaned. “It's a pure embodiment of a concept, so It doesn't really understand ponies or our concepts of right and wrong.”

“So not someone you would invite over for dinner, then?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Starlight turned her attention back to the Manifestation. “Okay, what do you want this time? This better not be like the time you trapped half the guards in that weird teamwork and friendship building exercise.”

If the Manifestation of Harmony was perturbed, or affected in any way by Starlight’s presence, it didn’t show it. “The child must be purified.”

“It keeps saying that, but Trixie has no idea what it’s talking about,” Trixie said. “But it’s probably nothing good.”

“Right, that could mean anything,” Starlight said. “It could just mean Flurry needs a playmate, and this is just some sort of friendship problem we need to sort out... or it could go to some sort of extreme like erase Flurry from existence.”

Flurry cried in alarm and grasped Trixie tighter. Starlight’s eyes widened and she moved to soothe the child. “Nonono! It's okay, Flurry! We won't let anything bad happen to you!”

Trixie began bouncing Flurry in place to try and calm her, but that was a tall order with the Manifestation around. “Trixie is not explaining to Princess Twilight how she let her niece get erased from existence.” She wasn’t exactly wild about taking care of Flurry, but she was even less wild about the alternative. The more she heard about this manifestation of harmony thing the less she liked it.

“Agreed.” Starlight glowered at the Manifestation. “Sorry Harmony, but we’re going to have to shelve that idea for later.”

“The child must be purified.”

Trixie instinctively hugged Flurry closer. “Explain what you mean by purifying. What does that even mean?”

The Manifestation stood there silently for several seconds, whether because it was trying to understand the question, thinking of an answer, or just because it liked to take its time; Trixie could only guess. “Her soul must be cleansed with the shining rainbow of friendship to remove all traces of evil within her being so that harmony may reign in the Crystal Empire.”

Trixie let out a huff. “Well, that explains nothing.”

“I'm not sure this is a procedure we should do without her parents being here,” Starlight commented.

Trixie nodded. “Yes, come back then. Let this be her parents’ problem.”

“The child must be purified.” The Manifestation began its slow approach once again.

Starlight held up her hoof in a blocking motion. “No, no! Bad Spirit of Harmony! Bad! No purifying the children with your creepy harmony magic!” Despite Starlight’s firm convictions, the Manifestation kept approaching at its sedate pace. “Back. Back... Please stay back.”

“No, go away.” Seizing upon an idea, Trixie said. “What you're doing is disharmonious!”

The Spirit of Harmony came to a halt, sounding ever so slightly annoyed now. “I can do nothing that is disharmonious.”

Trixie was taking a shot in the dark, but maybe she could use logic to stop the Manifestation. Trixie supposed that the Spirit of Harmony couldn’t do anything contrary to its nature. Thus she could use that to her advantage if she could prove logically to the spirit that it was actually acting contrary to its nature. “Hurting a child isn't harmonious.”

The Spirit of Harmony’s smile slipped. “I am not going to harm her, merely make her harmonious.”

Trixie smiled as she saw a chance to test her hypothesis. “But altering a child that doesn’t want to change will cause distress to the child, a state of mental harm.” Trixie stomped triumphantly. “You will harm the child, thus acting disharmonious!”

The Spirit paused. “I can do nothing that is disharmonious, thus what I do must be harmonious. I will demonstrate.” The Manifestation continued forward, forcing them to back away. “Better to experience harmony than have it explained.”

Trixie glared sparks at the zealous Manifestation.

“I don't think negotiating with it is working,” Starlight said.

Trixie found they had been backed into a corner. “Well, what are we supposed to do then? Actually, Trixie has a great idea: let’s run away. Running from your problems is always an option.”

The suggestion to run away had the opposite intended effect on Starlight, for instead of going along with Trixie’s plan, Starlight lowered herself into a combat stance. Her horn lit and she leveled it against the approaching spirit. “I’m warning you. Stop this or you’re going to regret it.”

The Manifestation was undeterred by the threat. “The child must be purified.”

Trixie swallowed. “Starlight, attacking the Spirit of Harmony probably isn’t a good idea, maybe we should just—”

Starlight’s horned glowed all the brighter as she charged a spell. “Okay! Now you’ve asked for it!”

Starlight fired a fully charged magical blast at the Spirit of Harmony. The light was so bright it temporarily blinded Trixie. It took a few seconds for Trixie to blink the spots out of her vision and see the devastation that had been wrought. A large hole had been blown through the wall, and through the next wall after that, leaving a gap that led outside. But despite the power of the attack the Spirit of Harmony stood motionless, smiling as though nothing had happened as the floor smoked under it.

Starlight's eyes widened. “Oh no, Twilight is going to be ticked when she sees that I blew another hole through the castle.”

Trixie cleared her throat. “First, how many times have you blown holes in the walls here? Second, Trixie thinks that’s far less of a concern than the fact the Spirit is still standing there!”

“I thought the Spirit of Harmony would take the brunt of that attack!” Starlight protested, her head snapping back to the damage she had inflicted. “Ohnoohnoohno, I also hit Spike’s room over there. If I destroyed part of his comic book collection he’s going to be furious!”

“Starlight! Focus!” Trixie grabbed Starlight and shook her as the Manifestation started its inexorable approach once again. “The Spirit is walking again!”

Starlight started charging another spell. “What’re we going to do? I’m not sure I can even hurt this thing.”

“How about we run away?” Trixie suggested. “That sounds like a great plan Trixie came up with.”

Starlight swallowed and then nodded, placing herself between the Spirit of Harmony and Flurry. “You run with Flurry and I’ll try and hold it off as long as I can.”

“Or you could just teleport us all away instead of fighting a pointless heroic last stand.” In a world where monsters, natural hazards, bandits, and angry audiences were all dangers of the road, Trixie had lived as long as she had with the successful application of strategic cowardice, and it wasn’t a skill she was going to put aside now.

Starlight blinked as the mouse in the maze of her mind finally reached the cheese. “Oh, right, I can do that too.”

Starlight teleported them to Nope! right out of the castle.

Author's Note

Thanks to my editors Chengar Qordath and Comma-Kazie for all their help, and to my pre-readers Brony Writer, wolfstorm56, Trinary, 621Chopsuey, Rodinga, PoisonClaw, and Swiftest for their hard work editing.

Foal Play

Trixie and Starlight popped back into existence on the streets of Ponyville. Starlight scanned the area for further dangers, but besides the curious looks she was getting from nearby ponies there didn’t seem to be anything to worry about. Her body relaxed and she let out a sigh. “Right, so the castle's off limits now.”

“Ya think?!” Trixie’s plans for a nice evening with her fillyfriend had quickly collapsed into ... whatever you called being stuck taking care of a foal capable of shattering the walls of reality and then having to flee from the literal Spirit of Harmony. She liked having some excitement in her life, but she massively preferred the type of excitement caused by fun surprises, not the kind that involved mortal peril.

Trixie shivered and shook her head. “At least we got away from all that madness.”

“At least that.” Starlight took Flurry from Trixie and started bouncing her in place. “Ugh, I hate it when the Spirit of Harmony gets like that.”

“Blah!” Flurry showed what she thought of the Spirit of Harmony by sticking her tongue out.

Trixie blinked. “Wait, is this something that's happened more than once?!”

Starlight let out an exasperated groan. “It gets like this whenever it sees anything disharmonious. It's a spirit of a raw element, a force of nature. It just does what it does.”

Trixie had trouble believing that this could be allowed to be an ongoing problem. But then again, Trixie’s usual approach to problems was to quickly pack up and skip town. The only problems Trixie couldn’t get away from were those she carried with her. “How often does this happen?”

“Maybe ... once a month?” The crooked smile Starlight flashed showed exactly how much confidence she had in that fact. “That I know of.”

“Trixie is never going back to that madhouse again.”

Starlight narrowed her eyes. “It’s not that bad most of the time. Besides, I live there.”

“Trixie thinks you need to reconsider your living arrangements.”

“I can’t just... Nevermind.” Starlight sighed as she rubbed her brow. “How about we just focus on getting a meal for now? It's been forever since I last ate, and I'm starving.”

Trixie waved at the castle. “How can you think of food after that?”

“It’s not that hard.” Starlight levitated Flurry onto her back and started making her way towards some food. “I mean, you know how soldiers learn how to sleep at the drop of a hat when they get the opportunity?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow as she followed her. “Are you saying this kind of insanity happens often enough that you're used to it?!”

“When you put it like that...” Starlight scrunched her muzzle as she thought. “Twilight's kind of a weirdness magnet. Or maybe it's the town? Maybe they're amplifying one another? Point is, ever since I’ve moved here it’s like something crazy is always happening, and I’ve just kinda gotten used to it.”

These facts were making Trixie seriously reconsider what she was getting into if this was going to become a regular part of her relationship with Starlight. Though now that Trixie thought about it, she’d been dragged into saving Equestria once already. Granted, a big part of why she had helped was that she lived in Equestria, and something like Queen Chrysalis conquering the land would have a serious negative effect on her quality of life. But things like nearly getting killed by some monster while trying to resolve some sort of friendship problem so that her cutie mark would stop weirdly glowing was another matter.

The facts were not looking good to Trixie. She was definitely getting pulled into all this weirdness just like Starlight had, and she didn’t like it. But there were simple solutions to fixing her problems, or at least making her problems not seem as big of a deal. “If we're getting food, Trixie needs alcohol.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Fine, as long as I get to eat. Just try to not get hammered—I don't need to take care of both you and Flurry. My hooves are full as it is, and you don’t need to be setting a bad example for a princess.”

Trixie sighed, annoyed at having to act like a responsible adult. “Of course not.”

Starlight nuzzled Trixie. “Hey, things might be a bit rough right now, but we still have each other. Right?”

Trixie smiled at the affection and nuzzled back. “Well, there is that. Hopefully things can settle down a bit now that we're away from the palace.” After a moment of contemplation, Trixie realized she had made a mistake. “Ugh, Trixie should not have tempted fate by saying that just now.”

Flurry sneezed and a blast of wild magic shot from her horn to hit the cart of one of the Flower Trio. The flowers and bouquets started growing rapidly, morphing into one another, and a dozen tentacles sprouted from Equestria’s latest magical abomination. The tentacles started snatching ponies and waving them around to their panicked screams. Flurry laughed and clapped her hooves in response.

Starlight groaned and planted her hoof on her face. “Trixie! Why did you do that?! Have you not seen the type of day I'm having?!”

“Sorry!” Trixie’s eats flattened to her head. “So much for date night. What else could possibly go—“ She quickly clamped her hooves over her mouth before she could finish the damning non-question.

Starlight also pressed her hoof onto Trixie’s mouth in case an irony-driven universe was listening, glaring at her fillyfriend. “Do. Not. Tempt. Fate. Ever. Again. Never ever. Not once, not ever. Because the answer is always ‘yes’ and ‘a whole lot’. Trust me.”

Only once they were sure additional disasters hadn’t appeared was Trixie allowed to speak once again. “I'm sorry, I'll be more careful.”

“Help!” cried one of the flower trio.

“Why is this happening?!” asked the other as she was whipped about.

“My flower arrangements!” screamed the third with a misplaced sense of priorities.

A large bulb formed at the center of the writhing tangle of flowers and vines, one that opened up and flashed far too many teeth as it lowered one of the mares towards its maw.

Starlight blinked and shook her head. “Oh right, I should help them! Here, take Flurry!”

She levitated Flurry over, and Trixie reluctantly took the happily squealing foal. One of the vines reached for them but Trixie fired a blast of energy at it to splatter it.

“Feed me!” the crime against the floral arts roared.

Starlight’s horn lighted as she prepared herself to fight the plant monster. “Rather not.”

Several vines shot out at Starlight, and she teleported out of the way and behind the plant monster. She fired a beam of magic into the main bulb of the creature, and plant matter exploded in every direction, splattering several nearby ponies. Starlight froze the vines in ice with a followup spell, which she shattered with a telekinetic blast. She caught everypony who had been caught up in the vines with her telekinesis and carefully lowered them to the ground.

“There we go everypony,” Starlight said as she got everypony down. “Crisis over. Back to your normal mundane lives until the next random monster attack or crisis shows up.”

Not everypony was content with how everything had gone though, as the Flower Trio took stock of the devastation that had struck their market stand. One of the Flowers girl’s lip quivered as she picked up a smashed flower. “Our flowers.”

“Our carts,” said another through budding tears. All of their stand carts had been thoroughly smashed.

“Why did this have to happen?” The third one sniffed before glowering in Flurry’s direction.

Starlight sighed. Trying to do the right thing was so hard when ponies were so ungrateful when you saved them from monsters that were technically, if accidentally, created by the foal you were temporarily responsible for. “Look, I’ll cover the expenses.” She reached for her bit purse but found nothing there. “Oh. Right. It’s back at the castle.” She smiled apologetically at Trixie. “Trixie, can you cover me here? Please? I’ll pay—Twilight will pay you back! It’s her niece who caused the damages after all. I’m sure she’ll recompense you for this. She’s got plenty of money, being royalty.”

Trixie glowered at her fillyfriend. “And how long will that take? Trixie knows how long it takes for the government to do anything, and Twilight will want even more paperwork than usual. Probably in triplicate.”

Starlight pressed her hooves together in a prayer gesture. “Pleeeease, Trixie? For me?”

Trixie grumbled as she pulled out her bitpurse. “Trixie won't make other small business entrepreneurs suffer.” By the time she was done covering the damages her purse was significantly lighter. “So much for my petty cash,” she sighed as she examined her remaining coin.

Starlight smiled. “Thanks, Trixie.”

“Thank you!” The first flower girl hugged Trixie. “You saved our business!”

“We won't starve!” exclaimed another.

“Though, um...” The third one tried her best not to look at Flurry, badly. “Can you keep moving? We kinda, um, need to clean up after this mess.”

“Also that foal is a danger to society,” said the second, feeling no need to be circumspect.

“Lily!” hissed the first one.

Lily glowered at her fellow flower girl. “What? I'm just saying what everypony's thinking.”

Trixie knew an unappreciative crowd when she saw one and turned to go. “Right, leaving now!”

Starlight was quick on her heels before they could cause more trouble—or at least bring trouble someplace new. She had a long history of spreading trouble wherever she went, and knew it was best to distribute it around in as wide an area as possible so that everypony could be equally unhappy with you instead of concentrating too much in a single spot and get herself run out of town yet again.

Once they were out of earshot of the Flower Trio, Starlight spoke quietly to Trixie. “I'm really starting to question how Cadance and Shining deal with this kid on a daily basis.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “She's probably a lot more reasonable with her parents than two relative strangers. Not to mention her mom probably knows how to deal with her.”

Flurry’s ears perked and she started looking around. “Mama?”

Starlight groaned and her ears flattened. “Oh no, you shouldn’t have used the m-word. Flurry gets unhappy being away from her.”

“Mama?!” Flurry bit her lip, and her searching became more desperate.

“It's alright, we just need to find something to keep her occupied.” Trixie knew the value of a good distraction, and how to draw it just where you wanted it. “Where's that snail toy she likes?”

Starlight’s eyes drifted back behind them. “It's ... back in the castle.”

Unable to find her mom, Flurry started crying, making Trixie flatten her ears. “Are there any other toys she likes?”

Starlight shook her head. “All still at the castle as well.”

“So what do we have?”

“Ourselves and the love in our hearts?” Starlight said desperately as Flurry’s cries redoubled, making Starlight hunch her shoulders. “Okay, we need a new idea.”

“Trixie’s got this.” Trixie conjured up an illusionary version of Whammy. “Here you go. Here’s your Hammy or whatever you call it.”

Flurry’s cries stopped and she smiled. “Whammy!” She reached out for her toy, but then her hooves passed right through the illusion. Flurry gasped and, feeling a grave sense of betrayal, started crying once again.

Starlight started looking around desperately for something to make the foal stop crying. She smiled when something caught her eye and she picked up a rock. “Remember that transformation spell I taught you, Trixie? The one where you turned half of the kitchen into teacups?”

Trixie smiled as she caught on. “Right!” She charged her horn, it pointed at a rock, and cast the spell. “WHAMMY!”

Flurry stopped crying, but not in joy of seeing her favorite toy; she froze in opened mouth horror at the mutated mockery of her precious Whammy. What they looked at could—only in the most generous terms, by an utterly hammered zoologist on his worst day after he’d been fired for plagiarism, gotten his divorce papers, and had his house burned down—be called a snail. Throwing it in the trash would have been an insult to the rest of the refuse, and if a book for the greatest failed attempts at casting a spell existed this would at least have gotten a dishonorable mention.

“Trixie!” Starlight cried as she tried not to look too hard at the failure in child-friendly design. “Don't you remember you need to properly picture what you're trying to make in your mind?!”

“I tried to do that!” Trixie realized belatedly she should probably have let Starlight try and recreate a toy she herself only half remembered. Not that she was ever going to admit it.

“Here, let me do it before we lose our hearing.” Starlight took a shot at the transformation spell and successfully created a lookalike of Whammy. “There, that should be better.”

Trixie let out a breath of relief as Flurry took the copy of Whammy and hugged it. “That helps, but we'll still need to restock everything else. She’s going to need diapers, formula, and everything else that’s back at the castle. Do you have any ideas for where we could—”

The False Whammy burst into ectoplasm as Flurry hugged it harder than it could bear. Flurry’s eyes widened like a pony who had just accidentally murdered her best friend. She sniffed and then wailed loudly, making everypony in the area grimace and move quickly to get away from the crying foal.

“All of that is back in the castle,” Starlight yelled over the crying. “One of us will need to go back to get it.”

“Maybe we could buy some replacements?” Trixie weighed her lightened bitpurse against the cost of diapers, new toys, a bottle, formula, and who knew what else. It wasn’t long before she imagined all her bits disappearing into the financial black hole that was raising a child. “Buuut Trixie doesn’t think she has enough money for all of that after paying for the damages for the flower ponies.”

“I didn't think to bring my bitpurse when we fled.” Starlight grimaced. “And I'm going to be bankrupt as soon as Twilight finds out I blew another hole in her castle and blew up all of Spike’s stuff.”

“Well ... that's just...” Trixie trailed off as she noticed a strange sensation coming from her rear. A quick check showed the source of the problem. “Why is Trixie's cutie mark glowing?”

Starlight checked out Trixie’s cutie mark and then confirmed that her own mark was glowing as well. “Huh, looks like we have a mission from the map.”

“Maybe that's what it is?” Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “Or maybe it's that weird crystal tree version of Twilight trying to lure us back to the castle so we can be 'purified'. The map is supposed to be linked to the tree or something, right?”

“To the Elements of Harmony, yeah.” Starlight frowned as she considered the possibility. “Wait, can the Spirit of Harmony be deceptive? Is that a thing?”

“Do you want to take a chance with the royal foal?” Trixie wasn’t exactly wild about Flurry and how she was slowly giving her tinnitus, but she wasn’t willing to throw her to the wolves either. However good of an argument Flurry was making for her to do that, proverbially.

“No.” Starlight shook her head. “This does seem just a bit suspicious given the circumstances. Maybe the glowing will stop if we ignore it for long enough?”

“Hopefully.” Trixie looked back at the castle and shivered at the thought of what waited for them back there. “But we do need to go back there. Everything we need for Flurry is there.”

Starlight took Flurry and bounced her in place to try and get her to stop crying. “Only one of us should go back there. One of us needs to stay out here with Flurry. The spirit only wants Flurry, so it shouldn't do anything to just one of us heading into the castle. I think.”

That seemed logical enough to Trixie, but that left the matter of who should go. She wanted nothing to do with that castle right then, but she didn’t relish the idea of staying here and watching over Flurry. Already she had nearly been killed or worse on multiple occasions because of the foal, and that trend didn’t look like it was going to change anytime soon. Only Starlight seemed at least relatively capable of handling the madness Flurry conjured, which was certainly better than what Trixie could or wanted to attempt.

Trixie took a deep breath as she made her decision. “Trixie will go. After all, she's committed far less crimes than you, so the tree should be less inclined to attack her.”

Starlight glowered. “Jeeze, thanks for the vote of confidence. You enslaved a town too, you know.”

“Trixie was acting under the influence of dark magic.” Trixie tossed her mane. “Besides, Trixie doesn't have a body count, didn’t nearly destroy Equestria with time travel for petty revenge, and the stupid purity obsessed harmony tree might care about that.”

Starlight scowled, but she didn’t have a good counter-argument for those points. “Probably. Everything you're looking for should be in one of the guest bedrooms. Except for Whammy, who should still be in the living room.” She grumbled to herself as she sat at a table for an outdoor restaurant. “I'll just sit down to get something to eat while watching Flurry.”

“That’s fine.” Trixie would have envied Starlight for getting to sit this one out, but given the day they were having, trouble would probably find Starlight again soon enough.

“Um, also...” Starlight smile was brittle alone the edges. “Would you mind spotting me a few bits for lunch? It’d be a bit inconvenient if I got stuck washing dishes to pay the restaurant back for the meal.”

Trixie groaned and dropped the last of her bits on the table. The things she did for love. “We're cutting into my traveling savings for my next tour now, so please pay me back as soon as possible. Do you know what happens to traveling magician who can't afford to travel?”

Starlight’s face scrunched up as she tried traversing the verbal landmine field. “Um, is that a rhetorical question?”

“Yes.” She let out a groan as she turned to face her fate. “Back to the creepy spikey castle with its creepy spirit it is.” Under her breath she said, “Somehow, Trixie prefers that to being in charge of a baby.”

Trixie returned to the castle, and at first nothing went wrong. In some ways, that only made it worse as she traversed the castle’s halls. At least when things went immediately wrong you had an idea of what to expect—you knew where you stood with a monster attack, though in Trixie’s case it was less standing and more running in the opposite direction as fast as she could. But that everything seeming to be going smoothly just built up the anticipation that something would go all the more horribly wrong later. Matters were not helped when Trixie wasn’t sure exactly where she was going. Starlight had told her everything was in one of the guest bedrooms, but what she had failed to mention was which one specifically. That was a problem when the castle had rooms in abundance. Half of them weren’t even furnished yet. Trixie half-expected they would be filled with books or failing that, lists, but it seemed even a bibliophile like Twilight didn’t have enough books to come close to filling this place up. Trixie suppressed a shudder at what the property taxes must have looked like.

It was as Trixie exited yet another empty guest bedroom that she met a horrible sight that made her let out a brief scream. She clamped her hooves over her mouth as she examined what was before her. Twilight Sparkle stood in her nightgown, its hood over her head, which only served to partially obscure her bloodshot eyes, red nose, and heavy bags under her eyes. Her figure was slouched with fatigue, and her feathers trailed behind her as the feather flu ran its course. Trixie realized that Starlight hadn’t been kidding about Twilight being down with the feather flu, and it seemed to be doing its best to put Twilight down.

Trixie did her best to regain her composure, pretty sure this was indeed her old nemesis this time. She was reasonably sure the Spirit of Harmony wouldn’t pretend to be a pony half-dead on her hooves. “Oh. Um ... hello, Twilight.”

Twilight groaned miserably. “Trixie? You're not here for revenge again, are you? Because I'm really not up to it right now.”

“What? No, Trixie isn't planning any revenge!” Trixie had long ago learned the folly of revenge, and given up the habit. “She's just trying to find some ... er ... supplies.”

“Just try not to make too much noise, please. My head is pounding.” Twilight blinked and looked around with a perplexed frown. “I’m just trying to ... oh right, get to the kitchen for breakfast. Or is it lunch now? Dinner? What meal are we on?”

Trixie winced. She could see now why Starlight had taken over taking care of Flurry; Twilight wasn’t in a position to take care of herself, much less a foal. Especially one with Flurry’s ... special needs. “Um ... where's Spike, or whoever's supposed to be taking care of you?”

Twilight sneezed and several sparks of magic shot from her horn. “He's off visiting Thorax. And last I checked about ... a third? Or more like half-ish of the guards and staff are down with feather flu.”

“Including your captain who always glares at me?” Trixie didn’t like the tall one in red armor. For some reason she didn’t trust the Humble and Repentant Trixie to behave herself in the castle and around Twilight.

“Yes. I got it from her.” Twilight blinked a few times as her mind swam its way through the equivalent of maple syrup. “Or was it the other way around? Somepony was complaining about somepony getting to bed, I remember that.”

“Riiight. Well how about you just go lie down, and get healthy?” Maybe given some time Trixie could do something about getting Twilight some help, but first she needed to complete her mission before something happened to Starlight with Flurry.

“Probably a good idea.” Twilight looked around, spinning around slowly as her gaze swept over the many doors surrounding them. “As soon as I remember where my bedroom is.”

Trixie saw that the trail of feathers lead right out of the room Twilight had just left, and a quick look around her shoulder confirmed it was indeed the royal bedchamber. “Did you just leave it?”

Twilight hacked and coughed before replying. “I think?”

Trixie sighed, turned Twilight around, and then gently pushed Twilight in the right direction. “Go back to bed, Trixie will see about getting you soup later or something.”

Twilight chuckled awkwardly. “Going back to bed now.” She slowly shuffled her way back to her bedroom.

Trixie let out a huff. “Right, now back toaaah!” She jumped when she turned around to see the Spirit of Harmony standing right behind her, its creepy smile and dead eyes directed right at her. “Oh horseapples,” Trixie bemoaned, “you again.”

“Where is your mate?” the Spirit asked in its perpetual monotone.

“Starlight isn't here.” Trixie smirked. “And Trixie won't tell you where she is.”

The Spirit stared blankly at her for a long moment. “You have a map mission.” It pointed to her still irritatingly glowing cutie mark. “You need to spread harmony with your mate.”

Trixie was just a bit curious about this. She was reasonably sure the Spirit of Harmony was just trying to trick them into bringing Flurry back to the castle, but there was a small chance there might be some legitimate emergency. Trixie didn’t want to get blamed for somehow dooming Equestria due to miscommunication. “How?”

The Spirit tilted its head to the side slightly, as though not understanding the question. “Bring your mate to the map.”

“No.” Trixie held up her hoof and waggled it in front of the Spirit’s muzzle. “Not unless you tell me why.”

The Spirit’s muzzle wrinkled a bit. “To spread harmony.”

“How?”

A hint of irritation found its way into the Spirit’s tone. “By going to the map room.”

“Trixie thinks you are lying to her to get Flurry.”

“The child must be purified,” the Spirit repeated yet again.

That confirmed Trixie’s suspicions, and she found herself growing irritated with the Spirit. “No. No she must not. What do you even know about harmony anyway, you big stupid tree spirit? If you're so smart, how come you don't look like Trixie?”

The Spirit’s expression changed for the first time, and its eyes narrowed menacingly. “You need to learn about harmony.”

Trixie smirked, finding she liked tweaking the nose of the Spirit. “Oooh, did Trixie touch a nerve there? Well too bad, because I’m not going to let you mess with my girlfriend or the baby.”

The Spirit stepped forward until they were face to face. “Harmony must be spread. Bring the child here.”

“No. Not unless...” Trixie trailed off as an idea entered her head. “Not unless you tell me where to find all her baby supplies, and Starlight's bit purse.”

“Oh.” There were several flashes of light and everything Trixie had asked for suddenly appeared next to her, even including Whammy. The Spirit’s usual dull smile returned to its face. “These are what you require for your quest?”

Trixie thought of all the ways she could abuse this power, all she could accomplish by stringing such a powerful being along. But on second thought, that might be a hideously bad idea. Also it would be wrong, she thought belatedly. Even if it could be a lot of fun.

“That should be it,” Trixie said, contenting herself with what she had.

“Then be on your way, my little pony,” the Spirit said. “The child must be purified.”

“Yes, Trixie heard you the first dozen times.” Trixie quickly gathered up the supplies, and got out of there as swiftly as she could without it seeming indecent. She just hoped there wouldn’t be any negative consequences for lying to the Tree of Harmony.

As Trixie expected, there was trouble when she got back to Starlight and Flurry. A number of ponies wearing bathrobes lay scattered about the street around the restaurant where Starlight was eating. Each was in varying states of incapacitation, some groaning in pain, others pitifully trying to crawl away, while yet more were unconscious. One started to slowly rise on shaky legs when he was suddenly struck down with a yellow beam of magic.

Flurry Heart was sitting on a table, squealing in delight and clapping as her horn smoked, all while Starlight watched on and ate a sub in quiet contentment. Trixie picked her way through the robed figures so that she could speak with her fillyfriend.

“Starlight, what's going on here?!”

“Oh, hey Trixie,” Starlight said through a mouthful of fool. “Just enjoying my meal. This place really has the best sandwiches. You should try one if you’re hungry.”

“Maybe in a bit.” Trixie pointed at the ponies lying about them. “Right now Trixie is more worried about what’s going on with all the unconscious ponies.”

“Oh, them!” Starlight finished chewing her food and swallowed. “Just a small cult that's trying to kidnap Flurry.”

“Trying to—” Trixie spluttered in shock. “Why is there a cult trying to kidnap Flurry?!”

Starlight shrugged. “Cult reasons. You know, stuff like using her to become their new dark lord or bring about the apocalypse. Twilight warned me about it, but I was only half-listening.” Starlight paused in thought. “No, wait, she said there were cults trying to kidnap her. As in, multiple groups of weirdos.”

It took Trixie several moments to process this news. “Why haven't you called the guards?!”

Starlight shrugged again. “They're all unconscious.” She watched as one of the cultists started to rise on unsteady legs. “Or mostly unconscious, one sec.” She pointed at the cultist and said, “Zap.”

Flurry giggled in a manner that sounded just a little bit too maniacal for Trixie’s tastes and blasted the cultist off his hooves.

“Now to answer your question,” Starlight continued, sounding unconcerned that she had just weaponized a baby. “I figured somepony else would have gotten the guards by now. I mean, I’ve done most of the hard work with some help from my little helper. Isn’t that right, Flurry?” She tickled the foal under the chin, making her laugh.

“Do you think it's a good idea to train the foal to blast ponies?”

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Starlight got back to eating her sub. “At this point, I'm thinking I'm just training her early to be doing what she's already going to be doing when she's older. Look at her parents and aunts, this type of thing is in her blood. Besides, I've been casting spells all day. It's about time she carries some of the load.”

“Zappa!” Flurry burbled happily before blasting another cultist who made the error of moving too much.

Trixie, too tired and weirded out to argue anymore, sat down opposite of Starlight. She dug through the bags she’d gotten in the castle. “Hey Flurry, look what I got?” She pulled out Whammy and presented it to Flurry.

Flurry gasped. “Whammy!” She took the snail and nuzzled it affectionately.

Starlight smiled. “Oh good, you managed to get everything? No trouble then?”

Trixie shook her head. “Nothing serious. I did run into the tree spirit, though.” She levitated over Starlight’s bitpurse and half the foal supplies. “Oh, and you can pay me back those bits you owe me now.”

Starlight sighed. “Fine.” She started counting out the bits she owed Trixie, but by the time the bitpurse was empty she was still short by half of paying her fillyfriend back. “Um, can I get back to you on the rest?”

Trixie tried not to let her irritation show as she pulled out a notepad and wrote out an IOU, one copy for Starlight and one for herself. She wasn’t taking chances with Starlight weaseling out of paying her back her hard earned bits. She’d been screwed out of bits owed to her on one too many occasions as a traveling magician to take chances anymore.

“Anyways, the tree wanted me to bring Flurry back, so I said I would.” Trixie smirked. “I didn't say when I would bring her back, though.”

Starlight smirked back. “Nice. The tree might not even have a concept of time, or at least one close to our own, so you might just have bought us all the time we need to straighten this out. Long enough for Twilight to get better and take over with Flurry again, anyways.”

Trixie grinned and puffed out her chest. “Trixie has her moments.”

“So we have all day to relax and enjoy ourselves by the sounds of it.” Starlight pointed at a nearby cultist. “Zap.”

Flurry gladly obeyed.

“If you're sure...” Trixie’s plans for a well deserved date with her fillyfriend had not gone as she expected in the least. Still, maybe she could still salvage something out of this. They were outside on a nice day and eating a good meal. Sure, there were all the defeated cultists lying about, and Trixie was more than a little bit concerned about Starlight giving a future ruler of Equestria a taste for hurting others as a foal. But that would be for Flurry’s parents to worry about. Right now was the time to relax and spend some quality time together.

But before Trixie could settle in, a waitress cleared her throat. She was a slim, mouse of a mare, and she gave them a nervous smile. “Um, excuse me. I'm terribly sorry, but, um, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“It's the, um...” The waitress vaguely waved at the pitifully groaning cultists. “Pile of bodies you're collecting. It's scaring away other customers.”

Trixie huffed, irritated that once again her date plan had been interrupted. “They're not bodies, they've only been knocked out.”

“And it’s hardly a pile,” Starlight objected. “They’re barely stacked on top of each other at all. It’s more of a body carpet.”

The waitress stood her ground and spoke more firmly. “It’s still scaring away the other customers.”

Starlight glowered at the waitress. “Hey, this isn't my fault! They attacked us! I was just defending myse—sorry, one sec.” She pointed at another cultist trying to get away from the world of pain she’d gotten herself into. “Zap.” There was a flash of yellow light and another scream.

Starlight turned her attention away from her latest act of aggravated self-defense and back to the waitress. “Right, where was I? Oh right, I’m the victim here. I just want to enjoy my meal in peace.”

“That’s why I brought you a box and cup so that you can take everything with you. I even poured you a fresh cup for your trip.”

Flurry noticed the glower Starlight was giving the waitress and pointed at the mare. “Zappa?”

“No!” Trixie quickly lowered the pointing hoof of the foal. “No zappa the nice waitress.” Given how much trouble Starlight had gotten in with the law already in her life, she really didn’t need to add assault with a deadly infant to the list.

Sensing they could only get into trouble here and fearing Starlight might lose her temper, Trixie placed a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “Let's just go, Starlight. Do you really want to hang out in a place with a bunch of cultists?”

Starlight’s nostrils flared, but she didn’t press the issue further. “Fine.” She stood up and started putting away her sub with more force than strictly needed.

“Let's go hang out at my cart,” Trixie suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Starlight levitated Flurry onto her back and grabbed her half of the bags. “Flurry's about due for a nap anyways.”

Trixie lead the way, her hopes of a nice, normal date fading.

Trixie got a campfire going and started pulling out her cooking utensils as the fire warmed up. “Well ... here we are.”

Starlight finished giving Flurry a new diaper and let out a huff. “So we are.” She frowned as Flurry sneezed, causing several multicolor sparks to fly in every direction. “She's been sneezing and coughing an awful lot, don't you think?”

Trixie shrugged, not knowing everything there was to know about raising a foal. Near as she could tell, they were always sneezing, drooling and/or pooping. “You've spent more time with her, and Trixie's had a bit more on her mind. Like the crazy cultists attacking us, or the tree spirit that wants to 'purify' her.” She sighed as she poked at the fire. “Maybe we should find somepony a bit more qualified to take care of her? Like an archmagus or something?”

Starlight frowned. “I'm basically as powerful as an archmagus, you know.”

“Of course you are, dear.” Trixie patted her back to humor her. While she didn’t doubt Starlight had a lot of raw power, there was more to being an archmagus than just raw power. Things like education, diplomatic skills, and a functioning moral compass were all things considered desirable for one of the most powerful magi of the land. And—well, Starlight had once thought there wouldn’t be consequences for going into the past to change the histories of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Considering Flurry was ripping holes in reality and creating plant monsters seemingly at random, Trixie had to wonder if perhaps they were above their pay grade on this one.

“I told Twilight I could take care of this,” Starlight insisted as she put Flurry down on some blankets with a couple of her toys. “Taking care of her niece is a big sign of trust from her. I don't want her to think I can't handle something this simple.”

“This stopped being simple a while ago,” Trixie said. “We shouldn’t be getting run out of restaurants because a whole cult of lunatics attacked us.”

Starlight considered this and then her ears wilted. “Okay, so things are a bit weirder than I expected.”

“Trixie certainly hopes you didn't expect any of this!” Trixie sighed and shook her head, returning her attention to preparing dinner. She put a cast iron pan over the fire and started getting to work. “Let’s just drop it for now. Trixie didn’t get a chance to eat herself, and it had been a long day.”

“Right. So, what's on the menu?” Starlight asked, content with the change in topic.

Trixie looked through the supplies she had available. “Trixie only has some basic supplies on hoof since she didn’t have time to restock at the market, but we should be able to get some hoofcakes going, at least.”

“At this point, even that would be just fine by me.” Starlight levitated out the supplies and helped Trixie get everything over the fire. “Sorry about our plans for a proper date getting messed up, by the way.”

Trixie suppressed the irritation she felt, as she was as magnanimous as she was great and powerful. “It's fine. Sometimes things happen.” She wrapped a foreleg around Starlight once they were done getting started. “Though didn't you just eat?”

“Have you seen the way I've been casting spells today? I might as well have ran a marathon. I’m beat.”

“Well, okay then.” Trixie grinned and poked her side. “As long as it doesn't go to your flanks.”

Starlight snorted and poked back. “You better not be saying I'm getting fat.”

Trixie raised her chin in an overly dramatic manner. “Trixie said nothing of the sort.”

“Good, because I don't need to worry about my weight on top of everything else I've got to worry about.”

Trixie flipped a hoofcake. “Don't worry, you look good. Trixie certainly finds you attractive.”

Starlight grinned and settled in besides her and leaned against her. “Right back at you. So how about we just sit down and relax for a bit and enjoy a meal?”

"I hope you've got enough hoofcakes for everyone," somepony new called out.

Trixie groaned. “Who said that?”

Four elderly mares approached them at a sedate pace, one of them being pushed along in a wheelchair by the others. One of their number, a tall unicorn mare with a pale blue coat and faded blue mane, stepped out in front. She smiled confidently as she addressed them. “Just little old us.”

Starlight glowered at them. “And who are you supposed to be?”

“The Disciples of Daggoth the Destroyer,” the elderly mare announced. “I'm Frosty Morning, the leader of our little cult.”

Starlight’s ear twitched. “Oh joy, more cultists. Flurry? Zap.”

Flurry flew up and shot a beam of energy at Frosty, but a grey block suddenly appeared in front of the elderly cultist to intercept the beam. The block was blown to pieces by the blast, but the mare stood unharmed, her confident grin still showing.

“My word, you're quick to the draw,” Frosty said. “Though I have to say somepony turning a foal into a weapon is a new one. I guess even an old mare can see something new now and again.”

Starlight frowned as she reassessed the new band of warlock cultists in front of her. “Okay, so you wackos are a bit better than the last set.”

Frosty scoffed. “Don't go comparing us to those loser Sunday dark temple worshippers, dearie. We're the real deal.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Aren't you a bit old to be crazy warlock cultists?”

Frosty chuckled dryly. “This is a bit of a reunion tour for us old gals, admittedly. One last hurrah before we put it up for good.”

The pegasus mare flanking Frosty, one with a yellow coat and green mane, stepped up being all smiles. “Or not if we get our way. We are hoping to get a few rewards from our dark master for this little gig.”

“Why are we here again?” asked the unicorn mare in the wheelchair. While the other cultists were certainly getting on in their years, this pony was positively ancient. Deep wrinkles creased her orange coat, and her red mane was badly faded with grey. “I forget what we’re doing.”

Frosty signed. “To kidnap the princess and help our dark lord possess her, July. We said this about a hundred times on the train ride here.”

“And you really think you can beat me?” Starlight scoffed. “You really have gone senile.”

“Honey, given your record, there isn't much to be impressed by,” Frosty mocked.

The mare besides Frosty tittered. “Now be nice Frosty, I'm sure she tries her best. I mean, her best isn’t very good, but she tries. That counts for something, right?”

“Only if you’re looking for a participation trophy,” Frosty said.

Starlight snarled, having had enough of these old ponies. “Okay, fine, you want to play, let’s play. But don't think I'll go easy on you old farts! Trixie, watch Flurry while I take care of this.”

Starlight wasted no time in firing a blast at Frosty, but another grey block formed to absorb the attack. Frosty’s horn glowed with a grey light as she coldly appraised Starlight. “Somehow I'm not surprised you'd make this hard. But then, you strike me as the type to ram your head against the wall instead of just going around it.” She nodded to the mare besides her. “Spring, help me out here?”

“Can do, darling.” Spring’s whipped out her foreleg, and it suddenly grew up long enough to snake out at Starlight.

Starlight teleported clear of the attack, her eyes wide. “What the hay?!”

Spring’s now tentacle-shaped leg twitched as it retracted back. “Just a little blessing from our dark lord.” Her lips spread in a savage grin. “Get ready to face Shadowgale LightBane of the Manypathed—”

“Spring Breeze,” Frosty said in a flat tone. “Spring is her name.”

Spring glowered at her cohort as her body slowly took on a more amorphous shape. “Oh come on now, I like my cult name.”

“It's as pretentious as a modern art gallery,” Frosty declared. “Just go by the name your mother gave you. You're sixty-five, for pony's sake, act like it.”

“Fifty-nine, thank you,” Spring said with a huff. “And your heart has no poetry.”

Starlight’s eyes flicked between them. “Mutated monsters. No big deal, that’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before in this last decade of crazy.” She ripped out several black crystals from the ground and hurled them at her opponents, but once again more blocks appeared to intercept them, throwing fragments of crystals and stone in every direction as they crashed into one another.

For her part, Trixie picked up Flurry and watched from the sidelines, unsure of what else to do. To her surprise, the remaining cultist pushed her wheelchair bound compatriot towards Trixie. The elderly earth pony had a faded green coat and a mane with dual-green stripes of a darker shade of green. She gave Trixie a maternal smile as she settled in to watch the fight. “Hello there, I’m Asparagus.”

“Asparagus?” Of all the warlock names Trixie had ever heard, that one was the least ... warlock-y.

The elderly mare shrugged. “I’m afraid my parents weren’t the most inventive ponies at naming their kids. Anyways, to complete the introductions, this here is July Blaze.”

July waved. “Why hello there. You’ve got a cute little foal there, missy.”

Trixie eyed them warily, sensing there might be a trick coming. “Um, hello?”

“So, how has your day been?” Asparagus watched as Spring’s tentacled arm sprouted into several more tentacles that lashed out at Starlight. She teleported out of the way again, and shot a blast that severed the tentacles off at the elbow.

“Insane,” Trixie settled on.

Asparagus nodded. “That happens now and again. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.”

“Trixie has been doing her best.” Trixie frowned, not sure how to judge the elderly mares besides her. “Aren’t you going to be joining in on the fight?

“Oh heavens no!” Asparagus chuckled. “My fighting days are way behind me. Arthritis makes it too hard on an old mare like me. Even a pony as full of vim and vinegar as Frosty is going to be regretting this fight tomorrow morning, let me tell you. You might feel good at the time when the blood’s pumping, but as soon as you settle down afterwards, it’s nothing but aches and pains and a world of regret. No, I’m just here for moral support for the gals.”

“Asparagus, why they fightin'?” July asked, interrupting the conversation. “Does the purple one owe Frosty money?”

Asparagus sighed. “No, we're trying to kidnap the royal foal.”

July blinked dully. “We are? Why we doing that?”

Trixie looked July over. “She's ... not all there, is she?”

Asparagus patted her compatriots’ shoulder. “I'm sorry to say July Blaze ain't what she used to be. She used to be our leader about a decade ago, but now ... well let's just say she's like me and here more for moral support than anything else.”

“Asparagus, why they fightin'?” July asked again. “Is it because that angry purple one owes Frosty money?”

“Yes, she owes Frosty money,” Asparagus answered, humoring her by this point.

Starlight had been skirmishing with the two cultists in the meantime, but neither side had inflicted any major damage. Spring had regenerated the damage done by Starlight, and now even more of her body was turning into a mass of tentacles, mouths, eyes, and who knew what else, all while Frosty created more blocks of varying sizes for offense and defense.

“Last chance—back off or I get serious,” Starlight declared, her horn glowing brighter.

The corner of Frosty’s mouth quirked into a smirk. “Has that ever worked?”

“No, I just wanted to cover my plot before I did this!” Starlight’s horn took on a black flame that seemed to absorb the light around it and she lashed out with Blightfire at her opponent.

Frosty threw up a half dozen grey walls between her and the attack. The Blightfire stream smashed through one wall after another, but lost power when it hit the last wall. Spring came running at Starlight’s side—or crawling? Perhaps lurching, rolling? It was difficult to say when she was little more than an amorphous blob monster of varying colors by this point. However Spring’s movement was technically classified, Starlight created a wall of solid crystal between her and the incoming monster. Unable to stop its momentum, it slammed into the wall with a wet smack.

Starlight teleported behind the monster and set it on fire with Blightfire, causing it to roll on the ground in a nearly futile attempt to put itself out. Out of the corner of her eye Starlight saw a pillar of stone shooting at her, but she teleported again to land right behind Frosty. She fired a stunbolt faster than the old mare could recover and knocked her to the dirt.

“Surrender!” Starlight demanded. “If you end up dead, it's your own fault at this point!”

Frosty grunted as she stood up with some difficulty. “I’m not done yet, but if you want to play rough, then we're doing this old school.” She created several more blocks that she tossed at Starlight.

Several black crystals shot up from the ground and the blocks smashed themselves against the crystals. “Pathetic. You'd think as old as you are, you'd have learned something better. I mean really, is creating stone blocks your only trick?”

Frosty spat. “As they say, when all you’ve got is a hammer...”

Starlight snorted derisively. “Then every problem looks like a nail?”

“No, you get very inventive with what you can do with a hammer.” A block appeared directly under Starlight in her blind spot and shot up to hit her in the gut. Starlight gasped as the air was knocked out of her and she staggered.

“Starlight!” Trixie cried out as her fillyfriend was temporarily stunned. Spring was coming in on Starlight, now transformed into something so alien that Trixie had trouble even looking at it directly. It was growing too, now being the size of Trixie’s cart. Trixie couldn’t stand on the sidelines anymore, and she cast a spell to aid Starlight. There was a flash of light normally attributed to a teleport spell, and suddenly there were a dozen Starlights appearing all about the field. Spring came to a screeching halt as it looked around with its many eyes, unsure which target to go for.

Asparagus tsked and shook her head. “Sweetie, no. Don’t get involved like that. You're no fighter, and you don't want to catch Frosty and Spring’s attention. Especially when you’re carrying that foal. Best to stay out of the firing line when you can't take the fire.” Her muzzle scrunched. “Or something like that. That sounded better in my head.”

“Trixie won't let her fight alone!”

Asparagus sighed. “Well if you insist on getting mixed up, at least give me the foal to watch over.”

Trixie hugged the foal tighter to herself. “Uh, no. Do you think Trixie was born yesterday?”

Asparagus smiled and shrugged. “Can't blame a filly for trying.”

“Can I help?” asked July.

“You don’t need to do anything,” Asparagus assured her. “You’re doing all you need to right here.”

July pressed her lips tighter. “If you say so. But you know I can help. I was a mighty terrible warlock in my day, you know.” She chuckled to herself. “Everypony was scared of me. I was the terror of the land.”

Asparagus patted her shoulder. “I know, July. I was there. You don’t need to convince me.”

Trixie ignored the two of them and grinned when she saw that Starlight had now recovered and teleported to give herself some space. Frosty was creating and tossing several more of her blocks to hit each illusion and dispel it, but Trixie had bought the time she needed to. Starlight snarled as she picked up a boulder and tossed it at Spring. The abomination was blindsided as she was struck and she was sent smashing into a crop of trees. The sound of cracking timber resounded and a trio of trees fell.

“You’re not going to win this just through brute force.” Frosty created several pillar-sized blocks and hurled them at Starlight from different directions.

Starlight created a dome shield that withstood the blows. “I can handle you.”

“I’m pretty sure you're in over your head. Let me show you why.” Frosty created a pair of blocks the size of a house and then brought them together on Starlight. She teleported clear as her shield shattered, and fired off a blast that forced Frosty to create more defensive blocks.

“I'm not even trying yet!” Starlight declared, but her focus was so concentrated on Frosty that she didn’t see that Spring had flattened herself so that she only barely appeared over the grass and was now slithering towards Starlight.

“Starlight, behind you!” Trixie called out, but not in time before several tentacles lashed out to grab Starlight. She let out a cry and tried to pull herself free, but to no avail. Starlight changed tactics and unleashed a blast of raw kinetic force centered on herself. The tentacles shredded, and Spring was blown away. Starlight landed on the ground in a pile and she scrambled to her hooves, but she found herself in a cloud of tiny blocks that then started to swirl around in a small tornado that was focused on her. Starlight teleported again to give herself some breathing room.

“Is that all you can manage?!” Starlight gathered yet more Blightfire and fired it in a great torrent.

“This is all I need!” Frosty threw up great blocks to intercept the Blightfire.

The first blocks were annihilated, but yet more were thrown down to reinforce the wall. The two unicorns poured everything they had into the attack, unnatural fire destroying blocks as fast as they could be replaced. Frosty grunted as one line of defense after another was eroded away, every effort having to go into keeping the fire at bay. If it had simply been the two of them, Starlight would eventually have won through sheer magical might, but this wasn’t a one-on-one battle. Spring was working her way around to Starlight’s flank, and Starlight had focused her attention solely on the opponent in front of her.

Trixie tried to shout a warning, but the roar of flames drowned her out. Unable to just watch, Trixie did the next thing that came to mind: she charged up the most powerful spell she could, and fired a blast of magical energy into the side of the abomination. The blast sizzled and scorched the side of the creature, but then its many eyes turned in Trixie’s direction and it roared.

“Oh horseapples,” Trixie hissed.

Asparagus shook her head. “Told ya not to do that. Now Spring’s mad.”

Knowing she couldn’t do anything against the monster as it charged her, Trixie held Flurry tight as she cast an invisibility spell over them and ran for it. She only barely got behind a tree as the monster barreled through the spot she’d just been standing. The beast’s eyes searched the area, but it couldn’t seem to find her. As it whipped and whirled around it nearly knocked Asparagus and July over.

“Careful now!” Asparagus pulled the wheelchair back to avoid a stray tentacle.

“Watch that big plot of yours!” July protested.

“I’m trying to find the foal!” Spring said with a hundred mouths. “What if she runs away? Then we’ll never get to please Daggoth.”

“Oh stop yer whining.” July’s horn lit and the air started shimmering around her as she maneuvered her chair to face Starlight. “I swear, I have to take care of everything. I’m in retirement, you know. A mare my age should be able to sit back and enjoy her golden days, but nooo, these younger ponies just can’t do a gosh-darn thing for themselves. Let me show you how it’s really done.”

July fired a wave of flame so intense Trixie could feel the heat on her face even standing well away from the magical conflagration. It rolled right towards Starlight, and her eyes widened as she scrambled to get a domed shield up in time to intercept the attack. The shield cracked and then shattered as the great fire crashed into it and Starlight was sent sprawling onto the ground, her coat singed from the intense flames.

“Owowowow!” July hissed as she rubbed her horn. “Now I remember why I can’t go around doing that anymore. I’m too old to be doing this type of thing anymore. Ow.”

Starlight’s shield had taken the brunt of the attack but she was still having trouble getting up again. Frosty didn’t waste any time exploiting the opening given to her. Multiple blocks shot forward to pin Starlight between them, creating an impromptu stone sarcophagus. Starlight tried to cast a spell to free herself, but a block smacked into her horn, painfully disrupting the spell.

“That’s enough from you,” Frosty said as she stepped forward. She was covered in sweat and wiped her brow before she called out. “Come on out with the foal, young mare. We’ve got your fillyfriend. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

“Trixie, get out of here!” Starlight called out. “Just run! Forget about—” Her cries were cut short when several smaller blocks covered her mouth.

“I'd recommend against running if you care about her,” Frosty said. “Just give us the foal and we’ll leave you two alone. We don’t care about you, so don’t do something that you’ll regret.”

Trixie hesitated as she hid. She knew she should run, even if she wasn’t sure where. Maybe all the way to Canterlot? But that would mean leaving Starlight to those evil cultists. She knew she couldn’t fight them, not when they had beaten Starlight. She was no fighter. But the only other alternative was to give them Flurry. The foal was mewling unhappily as she looked up at Trixie, in about as much distress as Trixie. She didn’t know what to do.

“Make this easy for all of us,” Frosty called out. “We found you once already, and it’d only be a matter of time until we did again. There’s nowhere you can run where we can’t find you.”

“Who we lookin' for again?” July asked. “And why does my horn hurt?”

“Not now,” Asparagus said, placing a hoof on the elderly mare’s shoulder.

“Your choice—the foal or your fillyfriend.” Frosty lifted Starlight up with her blocks and threatened to crush her.

Trixie closed her eyes before she groaned, unable to take it anymore. She dropped her invisibility spell and stepped out of hiding. “Okay! Okay ... just ... don't hurt her.”

Frosty smiled as Trixie approached her. “Good. Now just give over the royal foal, and we’ll be out of your manes.”

Trixie hesitated as she cradled Flurry in her forelegs, her heart being wrenched as the foal started crying. “I'm sorry.” She offered Flurry to the cultist.

Starlight tried wrenching against her binds and tried to scream something, but she was held fast and silent.

Frosty took the wailing foal. “Don't feel bad, you never stood a chance.” She nodded to Asparagus. “Do your thing.”

“Got it,” Asparagus said in a sing-song. Her body rippled and suddenly she transformed into a big pink cloud that scooped up July and her chair. “Hop onboard, everypony.” Everyone did so, Spring transforming back into her natural form with a series of cracks and pops as she moved.

“Come on, then,” Frosty said once they were all on the pink cloud. “We've got a ritual to complete.”

The group flew away, and Trixie watched them go, feeling wretched as she did so.

Author's Note

Thanks to my editors Chengar Qordath and Comma-Kazie for all their help, and to my pre-readers Brony Writer, wolfstorm56, Trinary, 621Chopsuey, Rodinga, PoisonClaw, and Swiftest for their hard work editing.

Foul Plans

“What did you do?!” Starlight demanded as she stomped towards Trixie. She had teleported out of her block prison once the cultists had departed. She walked with a limp, though she ignored it as her face contorted through different emotions.

Trixie’s heart lurched as she watched her limp. “Starlight, are you okay?”

“Of course I'm not okay!” Starlight winced and needed a moment to recover. “They just took Flurry! And you just gave her away!”

“To save you!” Trixie shot back. “I didn’t want to do it, but what other choice did I have?”

“Running and not giving them Flurry! Like I told you! I promised Twilight I’d take care of Flurry, and giving her away to some crazy senior citizen cultists is the exact opposite of that! Do you have any idea what—” Starlight’s tirade was stopped as she winced in pain, causing her to hold her side.

“I know, but we need to get help.” Trixie grimaced as she looked Starlight over. “And get you to a doctor.”

Starlight slapped her hooves aside, staring out after where the cultists had flown. “No! I need to go after them!”

“You can barely even stand!”

Starlight whirled on her, shooting an angry glare her way. “Like Flurry stands a better chance all on her own?!”

Trixie shook her head. She felt horrible about what had happened, but going off half-cocked wasn’t going to help. “Of course not, but we can't beat them! Do you have any plan at all for how to beat the warlocks who just trounced you?”

Starlight scowled, unable to meet her gaze. “Considering how most of my plans usually go, I think winging it might work out better for me. Planning was never my thing, anyways—things seem to work better when I just go with my instincts.”

That lack of a plan did not make Trixie feel better. “We need to go get ... guards or something.”

Starlight’s ear twitched. “Oh, so you think I can't handle it, is that it?”

Trixie let out an exasperated groan. “You objectively can't! They beat the tar out of you, and they would've killed you if I didn't give them Flurry!”

Starlight’s hoof shot to her chest. “I said I was going to take care of Flurry! I promised Twilight. Do you even care?!”

“Of course I care!” Trixie shot back. “But we can't handle this on our own! We need help! Here's a plan: let's go back to the palace, write a letter, and have Spike send it to Celestia. Within a few hours we can have a company of guards and actual magi here to take care of the problem that's too big for us.”

“We might not have a few hours.” Starlight tried to storm off, but she winced and sat, having to take several deep breaths as she recovered. “That isn’t going to work. Spike isn’t even in town right now, so we can’t send a message to Celestia and Luna as quickly as we like, half the guard is down with feather flu, and Shining and Cadance aren’t even in town.” She rolled her eyes. “And it’s not like the Royal Guard is all that effective anyways. All we have is us, Trixie. This needs to be us.”

It was all Trixie could do not throw up her arms in exasperation. “So what is your plan? You can barely walk right now, much less fight. There’s no way you can beat them.”

Starlight growled and forced herself back to her hooves, nearly falling over before righting herself. She started stomping in the direction the cultists had flown off in. “I'll figure something out. We don't need to beat them, just get Flurry back.”

“Oh for the love of—” Trixie started following after her as she tried to think of a way to keep Starlight from getting herself killed. “That's going to be hard to do without beating them, don’t you think?”

“I know their tricks now.”

“And they know yours.” Trixie inserted herself in front of Starlight to make her stop. “Starlight, this is too dangerous. If we try to do this on our own, we'll die and nobody will even know Flurry's in trouble until it’s too late.”

“Then you get help!” Starlight snapped. “I'll go try and help Flurry in the meantime.”

Trixie shook her head. “You don’t even know where they took Flurry.”

A blue column of light suddenly shot out from within the depths of the Everfree Forest, lighting the darkness.

“Pretty sure that’s them.” Starlight’s horn lighted as she prepared a spell. “Do what you need to, Trixie. I’m going to do the same.” With that Starlight teleported, leaving Trixie alone.

Trixie proceeded to scream several unflattering things about her fillyfriend and stomp around in a storm. Once that was done, she was left alone with her thoughts. She couldn’t just do nothing, but she wasn’t sure what she could do. It was only a matter of time until Starlight did something reckless, and she had a big head start over her. She could go looking for the Guard and any other help she could find, but they were liable to be far far, far too late to help Starlight... and Flurry.

Trixie hunched her shoulders in shame over the memory of giving the foal over to the cultists. It was a panicked decision made on the spot. She hadn’t wanted Starlight to get hurt, and...

Trixie felt like a coward. She wasn’t a fighter. This ‘save the world’ stuff wasn’t for her. She just wanted to do her shows, collect the adulations and coin of ponies, and spend some well deserved time relaxing with her fillyfriend. Not any of this latest insanity. And now all of that was threatened. If only she knew what the right answer was.

Trixie sighed. “Trixie is probably going to regret this.” She scooped up Whammy and ran after Starlight.

It wasn’t hard for Trixie to decide she had arrived at the right place when she got to the Castle of the Two Sisters deep within the Everfree Forest. Several explosions, the roars of something utterly inequine, and the crash of stone smashing against stone echoed from its depths. Unless some other angry fillyfriend and group of cultists just so happened to be fighting that night, it was safe to say who was duking it out inside the old, half-ruined castle.

Trixie sighed as she stopped in front of the main gate. “What am I even doing here?” she chided herself. But she still forced herself forward. She’d come too far to stop now, or so she told herself.

She cast an invisibility spell on herself as she headed through the castle, trying to avoid the raging battle going on inside. She wasn’t going to be much good in a big fight like that, but she might be able to get Flurry out of this madness. Eventually she found who she was looking for in what Trixie guessed was an observatory. Much of the roof had collapsed, revealing the night sky, and half the pillars circling the room had also fallen to the ravages of time.

The center of the floor had been cleared away, and a magic circle drawn on the floor with chalk. Asparagus was walking around the circle to make sure the various arcane sigils had been drawn correctly while July Blaze looked on from her wheelchair. Flurry was bawling in the middle of it, occasionally sneezing or coughing as she lay on the floor. Trixie crept forward to hide behind a pillar as she tried to figure out what she should do.

There was a shake from an explosion that caused several small chunks of mortar to fall across the circle. Asparagus scowled and carefully used a small broom to sweep away the debris. “I really wish they would pipe down a bit. This work isn't easy, and it's almost midnight.” She looked up at the night sky to judge the time. “Daggoth ain't gonna be happy if this gets messed up.”

July waved the issue away. “Oh Daggoth's a big softy, in a big ugly demon-y kinda way. It’ll be fine.”

Asparagus huffed. “Yes, well, I'd prefer not to take any chances.”

Flurry started coughing, and Trixie noticed that several of her feathers had fallen out.

“What did they do to her?!” Trixie hissed under her breath. Righteous indignation welled up within Trixie at the sight of Flurry lying there defenseless. But what to do? She didn’t know if she could even get Flurry away from the both of them, but she was determined to try anyways.

Asparagus started stepping towards Flurry, but stopped herself just short of the circle’s edge. “Oh, it's okay. It's almost over, little one.”

“Bah.” July spat on the floor. “Nothing that won't be made irrelevant by a little demon possession, hehehe. But now you’ve messed up some of the sigils over there.” She pointed to a section of the circle.

“I did?” Asparagus’ face screwed up with confusion as she examined the spot in question. “I don’t see it.”

“You messed it up while sweeping you dunderhead,” July insisted. “Check the book and you’ll see.”

Asparagus grumbled and picked up a bag lying against a pillar and pulled out a book. “Let’s see...” She was in the middle of thumbing through the pages when suddenly a wall of fire encircled her, trapping her against the pillar. Her eyes widened as she stepped as far away as she could from the fire. “What’s happening?!”

Trixie wondered that as well, even though she saw where the fire had come from.

“Finally!” July finished casting her spell before hopping out of her chair and stretching her back. “I was worried I’d never get you out of the way in time.”

Asparagus blinked. “July?! What're you doing?”

“Completing the ritual for myself, you doofus.” July stepped up to the circle and started pouring her magic into it, making the chalk lines glow with power. “I'm tired of getting old and my horn not being what it used to be. Don't think I didn't notice how Frosty and the rest of ya were plottin' against me just 'cause I’m not as spry as I used to be.”

Asparagus bit her lip, her gaze shifting around to try and find some way out of her predicament. “Well, yes, the apprentices are always supposed to replace the master someday.”

“Poppycock, I say!” July spat on the floor. “I’m not ready to step aside, and with Daggoth’s blessing from completing this ritual for him I’ll be back in my prime. That’ll let me turn the tables on you traitorous lot, just like I’ve been planning all this time.”

“Y-you've been pretending to be senile for ten years?!”

July laughed. “Yep! Fooled the lot of ya.” She rubbed her hooves together. “I'll be the only pony here to get the payout from Daggoth now that there’s nopony to get in the way.”

Having seen enough of these crazy cultists’ internal politics, Trixie cast a ventriloquism spell to project her voice all about the chamber. “Trixie thinks you missed one!”

“Wha? Who’s there?” July looked around for the hidden Trixie. “You followed your fillyfriend, did ya?”

“Yes. And for my next trick, I'm going to save Flurry Heart.”

July snickered before breaking out into a hearty laugh. “You?! A two-bit showpony? Don't make me laugh. Oh wait, I already have—here, let this old mare have another go.” She laughed some more.

There was a burst of smoke, and Trixie appeared before July. “Trixie is at her best when challenged.”

“So what's your plan? You wanna throw down with me? I ain't the spry thing I used to be, but I'm pretty sure I can still smear you across the wall.” Wild flames shot from July’s horn and immolated Trixie—or at least the illusionary copy Trixie had created to distract the elderly cultist. Given Trixie could feel the intense heat all the way from where she was hiding, she was profoundly glad she hadn’t placed herself in front of the crazy pyromaniac warlock.

Trixie once again used ventriloquism to throw July off. “Please, you think a little spell like that can defeat the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” She created another illusionary copy of herself that stepped out from behind a pillar with a confident grin.

July threw a fireball at the copy, causing half the observatory to briefly burst into flames. “Close counts for horseshoes and fireballs, missy.”

Trixie had another illusion appear behind July. “A pity your aim’s getting so bad in your old age. The ravages of time must be really hard on you.”

“Shut up!” July sneered as she tossed another fireball to destroy the latest illusion, but she winced afterwards and started rubbing her horn. “You thinking to play games with me?!”

“No, just practicing the first rule of stage magic: misdirection.” Trixie tossed a dozen of her smoke bombs out into the chamber, and once the room burst into blue smoke, created a dozen illusions of herself.

“No you don't!” July shot more bursts of flame, each becoming weaker as her horn caused her greater pain with each shot.

But the smoke and illusion were all a distraction. Trixie took Whammy and turned the plushie into a physical copy of Flurry with a transformation spell. Under the cover of all the smoke she levitated out the lookalike and switched it with the real Flurry right out from under the nose of the infuriated warlock.

“Gotcha!” Trixie said quietly as she look Flurry, the foal coughed and whined pitifully as she hugged her rescuer. “I know, but Trixie needs you to be quiet while we get out of here.”

Trixie tossed out the last of her smoke bombs to block July’s line of sight, cast an invisibility spell over Flurry, and ran for it. By the time she was making her escape the castle was in even greater ruins than before thanks to the ongoing battle. Trixie found herself struggling to find an exit that hadn’t been blocked off by rubble or the fighting warlocks. She was still running when Starlight teleported right in front of her, and she ran right into her, causing her invisibility spell to fail.

Starlight blinked as she recovered. She was even more beat up than when Trixie had last seen her, now covered in more bruises and scrapes, her mane a mess, and dust covering much of her. “Trixie?! You’ve got Flurry?!”

Trixie grinned as she presented the foal. “As if there was ever any doubt.”

“You’re amazing!” Starlight gave her a quick kiss. “Now let’s get out of here. I’m starting to suspect I’m ramming my head against a brick wall fighting those two warlocks.” She scowled. “Do you have any idea how annoying it is to fight an enemy that keeps instantly regenerating? And that blockhead is really getting on my nerves.”

“You can tell Trixie all about it when we get out of here,” Trixie said. “In the meantime, how about we concentrate on running?”

“Right, this way.” Starlight lead the way to the main gate of the castle.

They had almost reached the exit when there was an earthquake powerful enough to nearly knock them off their hooves. Shards of blue crystal shot up from under the ground to block the doorway. They came to a halt before they could run into the blockage, and backpedaled as a fissure opened up in the ground. A piercing white light shot through the crack, and the Spirit of Harmony levitated up from the fissure, its eyes glowing with a pure white light.

It was also glaring right at Trixie. “You have deceived us!”

Starlight eeped, awkwardly placing herself between Trixie and the angry spirit. “Trixie, I don't think it's happy to see us.”

Trixie gave the spirit a smile she wasn’t at all feeling. “Um ... Trixie ran into some complications.”

“Lies!” the spirit declared as it levitated towards them.

Starlight slowly backed up with the others. Her horn lighted, but Trixie could tell that her fillyfriend was running on fumes by this point. “Why did you lie to something so powerful and terrifying?!”

“One, Trixie thought she was being clever!” Trixie insisted. “Two, technically Trixie didn't lie! She didn’t say when she was going to bring Flurry back, just eventually.”

“I don't think she cares about technicalities!”

The Spirit of Harmony’s eyes narrowed. “You know your deception!”

“The warlocks got in the way!” Trixie said, hugging Flurry tight. “It’s not Trixie’s fault!”

“What's going on here?!” Frosty ran into the main hall alongside the monstrous form of Spring. She stopped to glare at the floating Spirit of Harmony. “And who’s that supposed to be?”

“Don’t let them get away!” July hobbled through another doorway with Asparagus at her heels. “They have the foal! And look what they did to our Lord Daggoth!”

She held up Whammy, now back in its normal snail-ish form. From within it screamed a deep, dark, and enraged voice. “Why am I trapped inside of a toy snail?! You fools! What have you done to me?! Were my instructions not clear?! You incompetents!”

Asparagus glowered at July. “Well this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t betrayed us at the last moment like you did. We could have shared all the power Daggoth was going to gift us with, but nooo, you had to selfishly try and hog it all for yourself.”

July glared back at her. “Not now, Asparagus.”

“So it’s treason then.” Frosty stomped up in front of July. “I should have known better than to let you hang around. Now look, you’ve screwed the pooch.”

Spring cleared her throat. “Well I think—”

“No! This is your fault!”

“Perhaps we should—”

The cultists broke out into an argument between themselves, all of them yelling but nopony listening. If there had been a viable exit, Trixie would have snuck out with Flurry and Starlight, but as it was they were trapped between a bunch of angry warlocks and an equally angry and even more terrifying elemental spirit.

Thankfully for them, the Disciples of Daggoth had attracted the attention of the Spirit of Harmony. It floated past the trio to address the cultists. “You do not have friendship in your hearts. You bicker and hate, and do not seek harmony. You should do better.”

“Oh shut up, whoever you are!” Frosty spat. “Who’re you to judge us?” She summoned another one of her blocks, ready to throw it. “Now get out of my face before I give you a—”

She never got to finish her threat, for the Spirit of Harmony shot a white beam that struck Frosty dead-center and froze her in a solid crystal block. The other cultists momentarily froze almost as still as their compatriot.

“Get that thing!” July called, the group now temporarily unified against a mutual threat. “Kill it and take the foal!”

Spring roared and barreled at the spirit. The spirit’s response was to merely wave its hoof, causing a wave of sparkling magic to strike the abomination. The monster’s flesh washed away like so much putrified water, pooling and immediately evaporating all in one big splash, leaving a shivering Spring standing in the middle of the hall.

Spring looked around in confusion. “Wh-What hap—“ She didn’t finish her question before she was also sealed up in a crystal prison.

“Oh no you don’t!” July roared. Her horn glowed nearly blindingly bright, and a great fire burst from her horn. It washed over the Spirit of Harmony, but when the flames dissipated, it floated passively as though nothing had happened. It fired another beam of magic and sealed July up in another block of crystal.

Seeing how the winds of fate had turned, Asparagus raised her arms. “I surrender!”

“Your surrender is accepted.” Asparagus was promptly added to the collection of crystal bound prisoners.

Trixie and Starlight watched on with open-mouthed amazement. Eventually Trixie recovered enough to speak. “Trixie isn’t sure if we should be relieved or even more scared.”

The spirit turned around to face them, its furious glowing eyes focused on Trixie. “You deceived us!”

Trixie screamed as the two fillyfriends embraced one another in fright, Flurry protectively held between them. “More scared! Definitely more scared!”

The spirit flew until it hovered over them. “For your deception you shall be punished!”

Starlight gulped. “Trixie, whatever happens, I want you to know I love you.”

Trixie squeezed her. “I love you too.”

The punishment fell, and Trixie was bapped on the nose.

“Ow!”

“You have been gravely punished for your transgression!” The spirit declared with grave severity. “Do not do this again or you will receive similar punishment!” The spirit then dropped to the floor, the glow fading from its eyes as it returned to its typical bland, emotionless smile.

Starlight raised her eyebrows. “Wait, that’s it?”

“Owowowow! Don’t encourage it!” Trixie rubbed her muzzle. “That hurt. It hit me in just the right place to make that really sting.”

“I guess it could have been—“ Starlight’s eyes widened as she realized she was about to talk Trixie into a worse punishment. “I mean, wow, what a totally just punishment for lying! Yep, I can suuure say that was exactly what Trixie deserved for what she did, and nothing else needs to be done to her like be frozen in crystal for the rest of eternity.”

Trixie shot a sour glower at Starlight. “Thanks for your support, Starlight.”

They were drawn out of the conversation when Flurry coughed and a couple more of her feathers fell out.

“The child must be purified,” the spirit said, returning to what it knew.

“Um.” Trixie held Flurry to her chest as Starlight stepped between her and the mono-focused spirit. “Trixie won't let you hurt Flurry Heart.”

“The child must be purified.”

Trixie growled protectively. “What does that even mean?!”

“This.” The Spirit of Harmony teleported Flurry into its arms, and before either of her caretakers could do anything it pecked Flurry’s forehead. Flurry flashed with a bright light, and when it faded her nose was no longer red, her cough was seemingly gone, and her feathers were back to normal. The spirit then gave Flurry back to Starlight without ceremony. “The child has been purified.”

Starlight blinked twice. “Wait, what?”

Trixie had enough of the spirit’s mysterious ways. “For the love of Luna, just explain! Is that so hard?!”

“She had an impurity within her,” the spirit said. “I have removed the impurity.”

As Flurry cooed and poked Trixie’s nose the pieces of the puzzle came together for her. “Wait ... she had feather flu? Is that what this was all about?!”

“Yes.”

Starlight’s eye twitched. “So let me get this straight: you scared us, we went running all through town, and got into a huge fight with a cult of warlocks because you only wanted to cure Flurry of feather flu, and we could have avoided this whole mess if we’d just let you do that?!”

“Yes.”

Trixie covered Flurry’s ears. “Why the flying feathering BUCKdidn't you just say so?!”

The spirit was somehow unfazed by the burning, righteous anger confronting it. “I did. The child needed to be purified.”

Starlight groaned as she rubbed her brow. “If it's that easy for you to cure feather flu why didn't you do it for Twilight and avoid this whole mess?!”

The spirit blinked owlishly. “The Bearer of the Element of Friendship is not a child.”

Starlight covered her face with her hooves. “I don't believe this. I just can’t believe this. I don’t want to believe this. This is insane!”

Trixie groaned. “‘Flurry is sick and I can cure her.’ That's all you had to say! Can’t you do something so simple?!”

The Spirit of Harmony’s head tilted to the side. “The child needs to be purified. Give her to me.”

Trixie’s scream echoed throughout the castle.

Starlight glowered at the spirit. “You know, for the being Spirit of Friendship and Harmony, you sure do suck at communication.”

“What’s that behind your ear, Flurry?” Trixie asked as she reached behind the foal’s ear. “Well lookie here! It’s a shiny bit!” She turned her hoof to reveal the bit she had ‘magically’ pulled from behind her ear. Flurry gasped and then clapped as she squealed happily.

Starlight chuckled as she watched from the castle library couch. “You’ve done that at least a dozen times now, and she still loves it.”

“She knows what she likes,” Trixie said. “Not that I mind. Trixie always wanted to perform in front of a royal audience. Even if this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“Well as long as she’s happy.” Starlight let out a relieved sigh. “She really calmed down once she got cured of her feather flu. I should have known something was up with all the wild magic she was firing off.”

Trixie bit back the more scathing comment that first came to mind. “It’s alright. Everything seems to be fine now.” She switched to doing some of her card tricks, shuffling and flipping cards around with skill and dexterity as her captivated audience watched. “Everything is fine, right? Trixie hasn’t seen that crazy spirit since it cured Flurry, though she’s still worried about the warlocks.”

“You don’t need to worry. The Royal Guard has them under lock and key.” Starlight snorted. “They were still frozen in that crystal when they captured them. The magi think that magic will fade to release them. Eventually. Someday. Probably. Either way, given the law doesn’t exactly smile on ponies kidnapping royal foals, and with how old they are, I doubt we’ll ever have to worry about that crazy bunch again.”

“That’s a relief.” Trixie picked up Flurry to cradle her. “With any luck this cute little foal won’t have to deal with anything crazy until ... at least high school. Trixie will be honest, there’s no way this kid is going to have a normal life given her family.”

“You said it.” Starlight groaned as she shifted positions on the couch. “Just be careful about what you say around Twilight or Flurry’s parents.”

“Be careful about saying what around me?” Twilight strolled into the library, looking perfectly normal and a long way away from being half-dead like when Trixie last saw her. Her alicorn physiology made Trixie just a little bit jealous. She would like to get a cold and not have to deal with little pains like sniffles for the next week afterwards.

Starlight scrambled to get to her hooves. “Oh, hey Twilight! You’re looking a lot better. We were just talking about ... um, well it isn’t anything important.”

“Uh-huh.” Twilight stared at Starlight before shrugging. “Well, I’m at least feeling a lot better. All I needed was some rest and some orange juice, and I’m ready to get back at it.” She smiled as she picked up Flurry. “And hello there! How are you doing? Did Starlight and Trixie take good care of you?”

Flurry babbled happily as she nuzzled her aunt.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Twilight nuzzles her niece in return before returning her focus to the others. “I hope she wasn’t too much a hooffull.”

“Oh, not a problem at all.” Starlight waved it off. “No more than any foal. We were happy to take care of her. Right Trixie?”

Trixie’s first instinct was to object to the idea, but upon seeing Flurry’s happy little smile a very different response came to her lips. “There wasn’t anything the Great and Maternal Trixie couldn’t take care of.”

“Thank you both. I was pretty out of it there for a while.” Twilight smiled at Starlight. “It’s nice to know I can depend on you for stuff like this.”

Starlight’s chest swelled. “You can count on me.”

“Sure looks like it.” Twilight bounced Flurry in place before her tone took on a darker edge. “So how did that hole get blown in the castle wall?”

Starlight coughed. “Um, well, you see...”

“Zappa!” Flurry called out.

Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Zappa?”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “No! Don’t—“

Flurry shot a beam of magic that blasted a hoof-sized hole into the wall. Twilight shot a scathing glower in Starlight’s direction.

Starlight’s ears flattened. “Okay, I can explain.” She searched for a way to positively spin the destruction she’d caused within the castle, but completely failed. “It’s all my fault.”

Twilight sighed. “We’ll talk about that later. Right now I’ve got a hundred and one things to catch up with, and this at least isn’t immediately on fire ... I hope. You don’t know of anything actually being on fire, do you?”

Starlight vigorously shook her head. “Nope! Absolutely not. Just, um...” She chuckled in a way she didn’t feel. “There was a little warlock issue, but we took care of it!”

Twilight stared at her for a long moment. “You know what, how about we just sit down and talk about everything that happened so that I don't get any wrong ideas? Want to sit down for dinner later?” She looked between the two of them. “Assuming you two don’t have any plans.”

Trixie spoke first. “Trixie was planning on having a date with her fillyfriend, but...” She watched as Flurry chewed on her aunt’s mane and smiled. “Trixie wouldn’t mind helping out around here if you like. We’ve come to like this cute little foal.” She tickled under Flurry’s chin, making her squeal and laugh.

“How about Trixie and I get some lunch, and then we can come back and straighten everything out?” Starlight suggested. “That’ll give you some time to deal with whatever you need to, and the both of us will have some time to recharge after having taken care of Flurry for a while.”

“That works for me.” Twilight picked up Whammy and turned to go, but she stopped when she examined the plushie. “Hey, why is there a silence spell on—”

She removed the silence spell on Whammy and was met with the furious howls of Daggoth the Destroyer. “Your doom shall be my pleasure! Rivers of tears shall be wept at your torment! I shall make you suffer for ages for the humiliations I have—”

Twilight quickly recast the silence spell on Whammy and rubbed her ear.“Okay, mind explaining that?”

Starlight smiled apologetically. “Whammy kinda got possessed by a demon.”

“It might be best to explain it over dinner.” Trixie shrugged. “It was a long day, but nothing Trixie couldn’t handle, naturally.”

Twilight let out a long sigh. “Fine. I’ll just add an exorcism to everything else I need to do over the next few hours. See you two later.” She started to go, but stopped at the doorway. “And thanks, Starlight. I really do appreciate the help.”

Starlight waved. “Sure thing, Twilight, you know you can depend on me.”

Once Twilight was gone, Starlight sighed and slumped down onto the couch. “Well that sure was something.”

Trixie sat next to her and rubbed her shoulders. “That it was. But Trixie thinks it turned out alright in the end.”

“Yeah, it did.” Starlight leaned against her. “Thanks for your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“What’s a fillyfriend for?” Trixie pecked her cheek. “Trixie was happy to help.”

“I’ll make it up to you later.” Starlight nuzzled her. “I do owe you a date after canceling our last one.”

“I’m sure you’re good for it.” Trixie smiled. “Beside, Flurry is a cute foal... once you get over the weirdness.”

“You can say that again,” Starlight said with a sigh. “Still, it was kinda fun taking care of her, and I’m looking forward to helping Twilight out once we get cleaned up and have lunch.”

“Trixie would agree.” Trixie chuckled. “I want to see how she’ll react to some of my more elaborate and grand tricks.”

“Always the showmare. But you know...” Starlight started rubbing Trixie’s belly. “We could have our own foal someday.”

Trixie reacted quite naturally to this proposal. “Eeep!”

Author's Note

Thanks to my editors Chengar Qordath and Comma-Kazie for all their help, and to my pre-readers Brony Writer, wolfstorm56, Trinary, 621Chopsuey, Rodinga, PoisonClaw, and Swiftest for their hard work editing.