Anti-Cliché

by GravityDefyingCoffeeMug

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Shining Armor, Equestria Girls, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Dean Cadance
Length: 4853

It took Cadance four meetings to ask for Shining Armor's name and only one to tell him not to fall for her. It took Shining Armor one meeting to realise Cadance was very likely insane and four for him to decide that he was okay with it.

It took Cadance four meetings to ask for Shining Armor's name and only one to tell him not to fall for her. It took Shining Armor one meeting to realise Cadance was very likely insane and four for him to decide that he was okay with it.

Note: The characters are OOC. My interpretations are of them in their younger years, around their early twenties, perhaps when they are both in University or College.

Cover by guywhodoesart.

Published 2019-06-08 10:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-08 10:40:01 UTC

Anti-Cliché

Author's Note

Sentences in italics are Shining Armor's thoughts.

Sentences in "quoted italics" are Cadance's voice heard from the phone.

Spearhead is NOT my OC. He isn't an OC at all. He appeared in the episode 'A Flurry of Emotions' as the only other named stallion I know of that Shining had a friendly relationship and interaction with in the entire show.

The characters OOC personalities are my interpretations of them in their younger years, around early twenties, when they are in University or College.

Anti-Cliché

Shining Armor was perusing the shelves of science fiction in the bookstore when he saw her. She was in the next aisle over—'R' for romance—and humming to herself tunelessly. She carried five thick books, balanced precariously in one arm as she flipped through even more titles.

They're going to fall. He thought, just before they did.

"Oops." She muttered, laughing guiltily to herself as she bent down to scoop them up.

His upbringing pushed him to her side, crouching down to help, surprising her very much.

"Oh! Thanks." She said with a smile that nearly took up her entire face. She had purple hair with rose and pale gold streaks, purple eyes, and very white teeth. To top it all off, she wore a bright blue sundress—she was almost painfully bright to look at.

"No problem." He said, glancing at the titles absently. 'Pride and Prejudice'. 'A Walk to Remember'. 'Twilight'. Women...

"Ugh, this happens in like every romance novel." She started as he handed the books to her. He raised an eyebrow at this. "You know," she elaborated. "Guy helps hopelessly clumsy girl. Their eyes meet. There's chemistry in that one glance. They're in love. Happily-ever-after."

"You're getting way ahead of yourself. I don't even know your name." He pointed out.

"Cadance." She supplied breezily. "Anyways, I don't buy into that stuff. For one thing, I am very graceful. And for another…" She shrugged, eyes twinkling. "You're really not my type. Cute, though."

She took a book from the shelf and waved awkwardly, books nearly spilling from her arms once again. Shining blinked after her, thrown off by the encounter, before shaking it off and returning to his own section.

The second time he saw her, Cadance didn't even recognise him.

He noticed her right away, of course. Not many people have that ridiculous bright appearance, after all. Plus, she was all made up in a purple top and black skirt, with absurdly high heels. She stood out, walking right by where he stood in the coffee shop. She didn't look twice at him. He looked away, too, as to not give her the wrong impression. Unfortunately, he had a companion with him today who couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Wow, she is hot." Spearhead whispered. Unfortunately, Spearhead's kind of whisper is really just him quietly screaming, that's why she turned at the comment.

Spearhead was taken aback by her direct stare, but Shining Armor knew that he was more focused on the purple glow of her eyes, the slope of her soft cheeks and her full lips—and that was just Spearhead. Shining Armor would concede that she was very pretty, though—he just wasn't so vocal about it.

Cadance's gaze shifted from Spearhead to Shining Armor, causing the latter to duck his head, staring at the money in his hand to avoid eye contact.

"Excuse me, do I know you?"

When Spearhead said nothing, Shining Armor realised her question was directed at him. He cleared his throat. "Uh, we met—" Well, that was one way to put it. "—last week at the bookstore. You dropped your books in the romance section." What the heck are you doing?! He sounded obsessed, like he had gone home and recorded every detail about her into a diary or something. And he hadn't; he just happened to have an excellent memory.

"Oh, right." Cadance smiled, oblivious to his inner turmoil. "I remember. Who's this?" She asked, nodding towards Spearhead.

"I'm his best friend!" He replied eagerly. Shining Armor nudged him to cool it. "My name's Spearhead. What's yours?"

"Cadance." She answered flatly. Spearhead looked puzzled at her tone as she continued, "Don't go falling in love with me, or this guy will, too. Then, we'll have an epic drama on our hands."

Shining stared at her, lost for words.

"Regulation plot device. I'm just preventing a cliché. You'll thank me some day." She shrugged.

With that, she left, her curls swaying behind her as she walked. He watched her go. Spearhead watched him.

"Why do you know all the weird girls?" His self-proclaimed best friend shook his head sadly. "And why are all the pretty ones crazy?"

Shining smacked him on the back of the head.

One strange meeting was normal. The second was a weird coincidence. By the third meeting, Shining Armor was starting to worry Cadance was stalking him. It wouldn't be the first time, but considering she wasn't even looking his way, he kind of doubted his own theory.

She was standing in the parking lot of a library, wearing a white tank top and jeans, and considering how cold it was outside, Shining thought he should help her.

"Cadance." He called out hesitantly. What are you doing? You barely even know her!

She turned at his voice, recognition flickered in her beautiful eyes. She grinned and lifted her hand to wave.

"I remember you this time!" She exclaimed triumphantly as he neared.

He smiled a bit at that. "Congratulations. Why are you standing outside?"

"Waiting for a ride." She answered easily. "Don't offer me one."

He gave her a strange look. "Right. Why don't you wait inside?"

She exhaled gustily. "My ex-boyfriend is in there. We're cool, but if I see him… I mean, things can only go one of two ways, everything's been written out." She waved a dog-eared book featuring a ridiculously busty woman and her bare-chested lover. The title was 'Love in the Rain'. He made a face at it and she laughed. "Wanna borrow it? I'm nearly finished."

"I'll pass." He glanced around the empty parking lot and wondered why he didn't just leave. "Aren't you cold?"

"Maybe a little." As if on cue, she shivered, goosebumps rising along the pale skin of her arms. Shining watched them for a moment, until Cadance hitched her pink purse further up her arm and he snapped out of whatever daze he was in.

"Thought so." He confirmed, pulling off his jacket. When she saw this, her eyes widened and she retreated a couple of steps back, holding her hands out in front of her.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no." Despite her protests and flailing arms, he was able to grab her and hold her in place long enough to throw the jacket onto her shoulders.

"Don't be so stubborn. You'll get sick." He snapped.

"No, I won't! I have a great immune system!"

He rolled his eyes and started walking away, cursing his own stupidity. Why the heck did I gave my jacket to some random girl? What's wrong with me?

"I'm warning you now! We're destined for clichés!"

Shining Armor looked back over his shoulder. Cadance was stomping her feet and glaring furiously, but she had shoved her arms through his black jacket and was hugging it tightly to her body. It was a little too big on her and he thought she looked kind of cute. At that thought, he had to turn away because it was apparent he was turning into Spearhead, who, by the way, could not stop talking about Cadance.

Maybe her stupid clichés had some truth to them.

"If we meet again, we're doomed!" She shouted at his back.

He ignored her.

As luck—or was it fate?—would have it, Shining Armor did meet Cadance again. He was in the library, typing up an essay, when she slid into the seat beside him.

"Well, I think it's about time I learn your name." She declared, right off the bat.

He was so surprised, he answered immediately. "Shining Armor. What are you doing here?"

Cadance glanced at her bag, at the bookshelves and study tables all around them, and back at him. "Scoping for hotties. Isn't it obvious?"

He smiled a little at that, and Cadance beamed back.

"By the way," she went on conversationally, taking her laptop out of her white tote bag, "I still have your jacket."

Shining was horrified to feel his cheeks grow hot at the memory of his stupid, pointless, chivalrous gesture, and Cadance giggled at this, hitting the power button of her laptop. "My aunt thinks that was sweet of you, by the way. She approves of us. Isn't that good news?"

He choked. "Wh-What?!"

Cadance looked at him like he was the mentally unstable one. "Duh. We're not about to have a beautiful, tragic love story now. If this—" She gestured to the space between them and he had the irrational urge to squirm away "—goes anywhere, it can just be, you know, normal. No one's going to stand in the way of us marrying. We don't have to elope."

He ran a hand over his face. "What is wrong with you?"

She looked offended. "I just don't want a scripted love story! Do you?"

"There is no love story!" He said, exasperated. The librarian's shush could be heard not to far from where they sat.

"I think we're meant to be by now." Cadance patted his shoulder. He seethed, but she went on, "So, you're right. There isn't going to be anything between us. Sorry. We can still be friends, though!" She looked so earnest, smiling up at him with her little hand stretched out, that he couldn't help lifting his own to take hers. She had long, manicured nails, and her hands were very soft.

"You know, it's almost a pity. We totally have the makings of the perfect love story." She sighed. "We would look so good together. Can't you see it?"

When she pointed it out, he kind of could, but he wasn't about to say that.

Shining took it for granted that he would see Cadance again. He definitely did, at a party thrown by one of his sister's friends, who also happens to be a mutual friend of theirs, Pinkie Pie. Cadance was sitting on a stool in the kitchen, working her way through the platter of nachos and guacamole.

"Save some for the rest of us." Spearhead said grumpily, scooping up a handful and shoving them, all at once, into his mouth, before he saw her face. His jaw dropped, and a chip fell out. "Uh…"

"Ew." She voiced, wrinkling her nose. She looked at Shining Armor and brightened. "Shining! Hi!"

"Hey." He greeted, leaning over for a nacho. His companion still had his gaze fixed on her, dumbfounded. "Idiot. Stop staring at her."

"Yeah," Cadance agreed, wagging a finger disapprovingly in Spearhead's face. It was painted black to match her black t-shirt, skirt, and ankle boots. "You'll set off a chain reaction."

Spearhead looked to Shining for an explanation, but the latter just shrugged in response.

"Right, uh, I think I saw Flash Sentry over at the pool. I'm gonna go say hi to the kid." With that, Spearhead scurried off, leaving the two of them alone in the kitchen. The faint thumping of music came from further back in the house, but it was mostly quiet in the kitchen.

Cadance licked some guacamole off her thumb. "Are you drunk?"

Random. "I don't drink."

"Just covering all the bases." She said by way of explanation. "I drink, but I have a high tolerance. Don't worry, I won't shove you into a bedroom, or be all cute, awkward and honest, or throw up and get assaulted so you have to protect me." She paused. "Well, I might throw up. But that's why I tied my hair, see?" She gestured to the high ponytail.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I could hold your hair for you."

She laughed. "Is that your way of telling me the ponytail isn't working? What a gentleman." She pulled the scrunchie out of her hair, fluffing it so it fell about in its usual curls. "Better?'

Shining wisely chose not to answer. "Why are you so dead-set against clichés?"

"If I've read it, I don't want to experience it," she replied, as if she'd done it a million times before. "It's boring. It's fake. It's read and reviewed by the world. Where is a scripted relationship supposed to go? The end credits, that's where." She popped a nacho into her mouth. "Why? Trying to romance me?"

Shining snorted. "Hardly."

Cadance didn't look hurt by the brush-off, however. "Good," she smiled, "Because, no offence, you don't look very original. You would totally try to hide your feelings for me in a completely obvious way."

"You're very annoying." He informed her.

She nodded wisely. "See? Just like that."

"I wouldn't do that." Shining said defensively. "I would tell you."

"Well, most guys don't. You look like the type to be in denial." She combed her fingers through her hair, trying to settle it. He thought it looked fine the way it was. "If not, well, points to you. Being open—that's new."

He rolled his eyes. The two fell into a comfortable silence, for all of two minutes, before she was yapping again. This was exactly why they would never work, much to her relief, Shining was sure.

"My ex said clichés were inevitable. I think he read that off the internet or something. He was stupid that way. He actually believed that thing about the planet being flat." She made a face.

"You have very good taste."

"Yeah, well, he was hot. He kind of looked like you." She tilted her head, squinting at him. Shining cocked an eyebrow at her. "You're prettier, though."

"Pretty?"

"Yeah, you're kind of perfect-looking, like a prince. I bet you make your girlfriends insecure."

"I wouldn't know. I never had one." Shining felt the need to tell her. Cadance didn't look surprised.

"Well, no, you wouldn't. You're kind of badass... Anyways," she went on, ignoring Shining's look, "His way of flirting was to hold my books and buy me red roses." She looked disgusted. "He used to catch me when I fell and carry me bridal style, when I twisted my ankle. I mean, hello! Those are a whole bunch of noes, right there."

Shining looked away to hide his amusement. Cadance looked affronted. "I thought you were graceful." He reminded her, referring back to their first meeting.

"I've learned my lesson since. You remember that? How sweet," she cooed. "This better not be a hint of your immense passion for me." At that, he dropped his face into his palm.

"Cadance, if I ever fall in love with you," And that was a very big if, but he wasn't going to tell her that, "You'll be the first to know."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." She pushed some hair out of her eyes as they each took a chip to seal the deal.

Cadance asked Shining Armor for her number at the night of the party before a friend of hers came up to them to take her home. The two of them had spent the entire night together in the kitchen, only getting up for drinks and to refill their nacho bowl. It had been enjoyable. Cadance talked too much, but so did Spearhead, and he was his best friend.

Considering this, Shining had handed over his number. He didn't expect Cadance to really call him, anyway.

But call she did, at, of all times, two in the bloody morning.

He didn't even check the caller ID, just flipped open his phone and grumbled an irritated, "What the heck do you want?"

"Bad time?"

Immediately, he sat up, blinking in the dark. "Cadance? What's wrong?"

"Um…" She sniffed, Shining could imagine her rubbing at her eyes. Unconsciously, he did the same. "I'm sorry to bother you, but…"

"It's okay," he urged, feeling much more awake. "Tell me what happened. Where are you?"

When she didn't say anything, he was growing more alarmed by the minute. "Cadance?" he pressed.

"I'm outside the bookstore," she spoke in a shaky voice. "Can you come pick me up?"

Shining didn't even think. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

When he drove into the parking lot, Cadance was swinging her purse from side to side. There was a group of smokers a few feet away. Even though they weren't paying any attention to her, she looked anxious. He unlocked the door and she sagged with relief, running to meet him.

She flung herself into the passenger seat and folded her arms, staring out the window.

Shining Armor hadn't changed out of his pajamas—dark blue plaid trousers and a t-shirt—and his hair was still messy from sleep. Cadance, all made up in strappy silver sandals and a black dress, looked the very opposite.

"Ugh," she groaned habitually, turning back to face him. Her eyes were narrowed, but her lips were trembling. "I went to a party with my ex, okay, just as friends," she begin in a rush, "And he's horrible with alcohol. We got into a fight a-and I know he didn't mean it, b-but it got really nasty and…" By now she was sobbing, tears pouring down her cheeks. He could barely understand a word she was saying.

"Want me to take you home?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry, but my friends would go hunt him down or something. Then, they'd come after me."

He reversed out of the parking lot. "What makes you think I won't do the same?"

"You don't know who he is," she reminded him, rubbing at her cheeks. Her mascara was smearing. She looked a mess. "And you wouldn't hurt me. I think you're a sucker for girls."

"What?" He asked incredulously. "No one has ever said that to me before. Is there a reason for that?"

Cadance laughed a little at that. "Well, you're always helping me out. With my books, your jacket… even now. You care about girls. Well, that or you really, really like me."

"What's my third option?" He asked dryly.

Now, she really did laugh. "Turn right here, by the way." She informed as they neared a corner. He obliged and she went about directing him the short distance to her house. It looked dark and empty.

"My aunts went out. They'll be home soon." She explained. "Hang on a sec, I'll go get your jacket."

She disappeared before he could protest and he waited in her driveway, trying to tame his hair. She came back a few minutes later, carrying his jacket, neatly folded over one arm and he rolled down his window.

"Thanks," she said. "For both things. For everything."

"No problem." He replied, embarrassed.

"Ugh, this is the kind of thing you find in every single bad novel." She complained. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

Shining gave her a very flat look. "I'll try to restrain myself."

"That's all I ask. Well no, there's one more thing; if I kiss your cheek, will you fall in love with me? Because we're doing so well."

"You bring that up a lot." He observed.

"I'm cautious. So sue me."

"No," he said, "I won't fall in love with you." He didn't realise that was an invitation until she leaned through the window, pecked him lightly on the cheek, her lips cool and dry.

"You're a good guy, Shining Armor." She pulled away, taking a step back.

He watched until she went into the house before driving away. He had to wake up in less than four hours to get ready for a nine-hour day, but Shining couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed.

Maybe she's right. Maybe he is a sucker for girls. He used to spoil his sister before moving out, but that was just his sister, a relative, never another girl. Maybe he was just too damn soft-hearted for his own good.

"I was reading this book today," Cadance spoke through the phone. "This guy made a girl fall in love with him by taking her on a midnight picnic of cupcakes. They looked at the stars." She sighed. "I can cross that dream off my list."

"Why do you need to cross it off?" He asked, making a note in his textbook, cell phone pressed to his ear.

Spearhead walked into his dorm room and headed straight for the mini-fridge. Shining Armor rolled his eyes.

"I pride myself on my originality, Shiny," she said prissily. Spearhead clanked around a few cans. "What's that noise?"

"The best friend who's stalking you." Shining informed her. To Spearhead, he snapped, "Get out of my room."

"Oh, him. Tell him I say hi!"

Spearhead brightened at the same time. "Cadance? Say hi to her for me!"

"She said she hates you and your fashion sense." Shining lied to his so-called best friend, earning a scowl at him.

"Don't be rude, Shiny!" Cadance chided through the phone. "Alright, you go gossip with your buddy. I'm supposed to be studying, anyway. Bye!" She chirped, hanging up before he could protest. He did not want to gossip with Spearhead. About what? Mohawks and scented hair gels?

He dropped his phone onto his desk with an exasperated sigh. Spearhead was looking at him. "Go away." Shining commanded, turning back to his abandoned readings.

Spearhead pulled an apple out from the fridge. "But I'm hungry. Why do you have rabbit-food?"

"It's healthy," Shining corrected.

"Whatever. You're just trying to keep your figure." Spearhead mocked, causing Shining to shoot him a very sour look. "Do you always talk to Cadance like that?"

Immediately, Shining was on his guard. "Like what?"

"Like a normal person." Shining was sure that Spearhead had lost one too many brain cells drinking. "I mean, when I call you, you just swear at me and hang up."

Shining picked up his highlighter. "Idiot. You only ever call me to ask me to buy you hair gel."

"So?" Clearly, Spearhead didn't get it. "This mohawk ain't gonna make itself." He was silent for a moment and Shining scanned the pages. "You know what I think? I think you like her."

"Don't let Cadance hear you say that." Shining responded as he went on to highlight some notes.

Spearhead furrowed his eyebrows at the lack of a reaction. Where was the explosion? Shining nearly broke his arm when he suggested he liked Chrysalis. "Uh, why?"

"She's against us having any sort of relationship." Shining finally looked up. "She calls us a cliché."

Spearhead laughed. "Wow, she's nuts, but I still say you like her. I mean, you talk to her more than you talk to yours truly and anyone else. You also spent that entire party with her. You picked her up that night at like two in the morning."

Shining waved him off. "Should I have left her at the parking lot?"

"You would if it was me!"

Shining couldn't argue with that. Grinning, he tuned his friend out until he finally left.

Since the first night, Cadance had taken to calling Shining Armor nearly every other day, usually at more appropriate times. When she didn't call, he contemplated doing it, but never really worked up the nerve. He felt too awkward, even though their conversations were always easy and very long.

They didn't talk about the night of her fight with her ex and she had stopped telling him not to fall in love with her. Instead, they talked about the boys who held doors for her, bumped into her, or picked up her books when she dropped them. She crossed them all off her list of possible conquests. Shining wondered if he had ever been on the list. She told him that their relationship was 'doomed from the start.'

But, quirkiness aside, Shining got along with Cadance well, much better than he did with many other people, except his sister and parents. Sure, she was annoying, she talked way too much, and she jumped to conclusions, but she was charming in her own way. Shining grew more attached to her by the day.

It was too bad she had stopped warning him against it.

But he always honored a deal. He met Cadance for burgers and fries on a Saturday afternoon. She, of course, had a romance novel in her purse.

"I should just write my own." She complained. "The quality is going down, lately. Where's the love?!"

He didn't reply, all used to her tirades by now.

"I mean, is there no other way to fall in love? Do they always have to start off hating each other or be embroiled in the throes of forbidden passion? Urgh!" She glared up at him. "Help me out here, Shine."

He wiped his mouth. "You know what the most original way to get a guy's attention is?" He asked. Cadance blinked, a fry halfway to her mouth.

"No." She said, swirling it in more ketchup. "Some unfortunate girl catch your eye?"

"Funny," he deadpanned. He squirted another packet of ketchup onto the tray between them. "But yeah. You." Hopefully, anticlimactic was the way to go with her.

Judging by the way her eyes bulged, Shining wasn't so sure. Cadance choked on the fry she had just put in her mouth, and he pushed her coke towards her.

"Not the response I was expecting," he said patiently. "I was thinking swooning. Maybe some tears."

"Cliché," Cadance finally gasped, setting down her coke. "Never associate with them."

"So I've heard." He said dryly. "Can I continue?"

She was burning red. "Sure." She squeaked.

"Thanks. The best way to get a guy to like you is to tell him not to fall in love with you."

"You buy into reverse psychology?" She asked. "I'll remember that."

He gave her a look and she shut her mouth, slumping down in her seat. "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

"You like me." She concluded, earning a nod from him. "And I… No. No! Shiny, if I like you back, I'm letting the clichés win!"

Shining Armor groaned, raking a hand through his hair irritably. "Cadance, you're so weird and I think you're an idiot, but I still like you. How much less of a cliché can you get?"

Cadance pursed her lips and didn't reply.

"Look." He leaned forward, elbows on the table, arms crossed with his eyes locked on hers. "If you fall, I'll never catch you. If you cry, I won't hug you. I won't kiss your worries away or buy you things. I won't hold you when we watch a scary movie. I won't even pay for your meals, if that's what it takes."

"Wow. Isn't that going a little far?"

"Says the girl who told me not to fall for her the first three times we met."

She laughed at that. "Touché." Her eyes were twinkling, she propped her chin up on one fist. "So what will you do for me?"

He thought it over. "I'll let you stuff your face with chocolate and not say anything. I'll teach you how to dance without complaining about how much you step on my feet." She made a face at him, but her cheeks were flaming, she couldn't hold back a smile. "I'll text you every morning to wake you up and, of course, I'll hold back your hair when you throw up."

"What about affection?"

Shining smirked. "Subtle. I'll kiss you only when you really don't want it."

Cadance mulled this over, twirling a pale gold strand of her multicoloured hair through her fingers. Finally, she spoke up. "Shiny, I don't want to like you." He was silent. "As a matter of fact, what I would really hate right now is for you to kiss me." When he didn't move, she added, "So don't do it. I mean it."

Shining Armor moved across the table to slide into the booth beside her. He pulled one hand through her hair and pressed the fingers of his other to her jaw. She feigned exasperation, but her eyes were dancing with expectation.

He kissed her, hard, and she sighed into his touch. He pulled away after only a moment, leaving her eyes half-lidded and dazed.

"You better not do that again. Definitely not for longer." She paused, thinking. "Oh, and don't do that massage-y thing to my scalp again."

"You're picky."

"And I still chose you." She teased. She leaned forward, to which he obliged her wordless command, kissing her again. He could get used to this. At least it shut her up. When he pulled away again, she was breathing hard. Score one for him.

"You know, I really like this reverse-psychology thing," she told him. "But don't kiss me breathless again. That is so cliché."

Just to piss her off, he did it again. Somehow, she didn't look too upset.

END