Idle Hooves are the devil's tools!

by SwirledEyez

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Changelings, Royal Guard
Length: 6370

Idol Hooves is just your everyday, standard, ordinary, normal Unicorn. He's definitely not a Changeling, definitely. He's quite skilled with his hooves but mostly uses this for pottery until, one day, he finds a new talent.

It was a well-known and established fact that all Ponies have a special talent, a unique and intrinsic calling that they will discover in time. For Idol Hooves, Unicorn Royal Guard, this was no different, no different at all. For he was a perfectly ordinary, normal and unsuspicious in the least Pony. Certainly it wasn't as if he was a Changeling in disguise, oh no, that would be ridiculous!
Despite his name Idol had always had a talent with his hooves, a way with them. He'd most utilized this in the art of pottery but at the prompting of others he tries to apply those same skilled hooves to the art of the massage. Surely nothing strange could come of that?

A short bit of fanfiction I made on the Changeling of the Guard Discord and then was told should publish. Please remeber to check the actual story that inspired this: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/174129/the-changeling-of-the-guard

Published 2019-06-05 14:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-12-27 16:01:56 UTC

The Chapter

The quiet of one Topaz Showers’ apartment was broken by a question one midday: “Are you experiencing pain in your neck Topaz? You seem to be consistently applying pressure to it and bending it in directions I believe it is not supposed to bend,”

It was an innocent enough question, as most questions from Idol were, there was nothing sinister to it, nothing suspicious, no ulterior motives. To be fair, if asked, Topaz would confess she wasn’t sure if Idol could really have ulterior motives. He seemed to always come across as if everything about his personality was worn right in front of you, without any effort to disguise which, when she thought about it, was a really weird thing for a creature who explicitly was skilled at disguising itself and infiltrating other societies.

But wondering on the peculiarities of Changelings, fascinating as they were to Topaz, was a conversation for another time.

“Hmm? Ugh, no…” she started, noncommittally, before sighing and realizing there was no point in denial, “...well, yeah, it’s pain but...not an injury or something, just uncomfortable, you know stress and-” she briefly paused her hoof’s motions, moving it in circles about her neck, eyes squinting behind glasses at the sheets of parchment before her, before finally giving a snort, leaning back in the seat she was using, eyes staring up at the ceiling.

“It’s this report, ugh, a senior student’s, I was asked to take a look and it is just the dryest read I’ve had the displeasure of knowing, like...I get that it's important to be precise with language in an academic work but...this isn’t even anything interesting, it’s just...ugh,” she exhaled with a grunt, bending her neck to one side, searching for a ‘crick’ to work out. Sadly no such crick or satisfying ‘click’ of her vertebra was forthcoming.

Watching her Idol contemplated asking how a paper being ‘dry’ could be an issue, after all how would one read wet parchment, but decided to file that query away for another time, along with a what the precise meaning of the word ‘ugh’ was (he’d heard it used to often in Pony discourse, but the meaning seemed to be able to change wildly with context!) for now instead focusing on his landlady’s displeasure.

But how could he help? As was natural for him he immediately started going through a mental checklist of ways he might assist; hunt down something for her to eat? No she knows better than me what she would want. Make her a pot? No I’ve already made her several, and that would have no bearing on her physical state. Show her exercise drills from the Guard? Hmm, perhaps but...I do not believe those are useful in relieving stress, only in building fitness or muscle. What could I do...what can I do...stress...stress...stress...ah-hah! That’s it! With confidence Idol’s mind clicked on to the natural solution to this problem, one he’d been assured by experts in physical relaxation he was skilled in.

“Perhaps I could render some assistance? When I was in Ponyville I briefly visited an establishment which assisted in easing tension, two Ponies there specialized in utilizing skills which allowed them to alleviate stress through physical action, I learned of a technique there called a ‘mass-age’, do you know of it?” Idol would never consciously brag (at least that he’d admit too) but the hint of smug pride in revealing to Topaz something he’d learned while abroad was unmistakable in his voice.

Unfortunately for Idol, Topaz seemed nonplussed by the whole thing, regarding him only with a flat stare once she answered back.

“Everyone knows what a massage is Idol, it isn’t some sort of secret art, and I’m pretty sure what you visited is just called a spa by normal ponies, keep that in mind please,” Idol would have bristled at Topaz’s dismissive demeanour, if bristling was a thing which Changelings did (they did not!), so instead he decided to restate his proposition with emphasis, purely for reasons of altruistic motive and not at all in an attempt to display to Topaz that he too had learned more of this new life he was living.

It turned out not to be necessary though, he had not even got further than a quick; “I was told I was quite good-” before Topaz gave a shrug, seemingly having considered the idea.

“Eh, you know, why not? It’s not like you can make things worse, and my neck is seriously killing me here. Okay then, c’mon, show me what you can do,” Topaz slumped away from her desk as she spoke, Idol following behind, as she moved to the nearby couch, spreading herself out over it, lying on her stomach; “Alright then, start whenever you’re ready,” she crossed her forelimbs, muzzle resting on it, wings unfolding to allow him easy access to her rather slight, smooth, back, haunches and all, as she settled in.

“Of course, now please do of course inform me if at any point it feels painful or uncomfortable, I would dislike if I in anyway worsened the situation-”

“Idol enough talking, if you’re gonna give me a massage give me a massage already!”

So Idol did exactly that. He moved himself right near her, looming over her splayed form, fore limbs rising up as he reared on to his haunches, slowly, gentle, easing them down on to the middle of her back, applying only the faintest pressure to begin with, waiting a second to see if Topaz would react to his hooves, if they caused her any discomfort. When he saw that she did not he began, hooves digging into the soft, supple, flesh, pushing down at first, before grinding somewhat. A squeak came from Topaz’s lips, as if he’d pushed it out of her when he’d applied the pressure, and he immediately stopped for a moment; “Did that hurt? Did that feel uncomfortable?”

“No, no it...it actually felt kinda nice. C’mon, keep going,” she hastily told him, the Changeling moving to obey, hooves beginning to slide upwards along her spine, towards her neck, pushing as he went, feeling the hard knots of bunched muscles offer resistance against him. She had not been lying when she had complained of tension, he realized.

For Topaz it was hard to describe the sensation, the sudden pressure on her back. She’d meant to keep talking as he went, to give him a rundown of how it was going, but when she tried to open her mouth all that came out was;

“Oooh,” Topaz cooed, losing her train of thought all of a sudden, as Idol’s hooves (heh) trailed down her spine. “N-Not bad! That is pretty refreshing actually!” She gasped twice more as he reached her neck, her thoughts seeming to briefly leave her as he pushed down on the base of it and she felt another low sigh come forth, her neck feeling like it was being kneaded into a soft dough, muscles melting till they were soft and limp.

“You weren’t ~ah~ kidding about being good at th-” oh, that was an interesting reaction her body was having to this, a quiver rocking through her as Idol continued, her lips briefly hanging open, and when she felt the shiver that had run down her subside, large eyes blinking rapidly, she realized she’d once again lost her train of thought.

“~Ngh~ w-what was I saying again?” Topaz was surprised to find that focusing was becoming...difficult. Every time a thought popped into her mind it was like a little bubble of soap, dripping and wet, but then when Idol just applied pressure just here and here the bubbles popped, taking with them whatever she’d been thinking of. He’d push in deep, hooves moulding the skin almost like it was the clay he used for his pots, and then she’d feel that bubble pop, she’d somehow feel it in her head, hear it almost pop pop pop and next thing she knew she couldn’t remember what she was talking about, what she was thinking about, all she could remember was how good it all felt.

“You were commenting on something that surprised you,” Idol offered in his, insufferably, helpful manner, sounding no more invested in his massage then if he were observing the state of the weather or some other mundane fact, taking only a moment to let his hooves trail down to where her wings intersected with her back, pushing down, making the feathers on either wing flare up and grow stiff as Topaz’s neck arched up in response, the Pegasus biting down on her lower lip to muffle some strange sound Idol could not recognize.

“Oh yes! That’s right I was- ~ah~” she didn’t get to finish that sentence either, Idol’s hooves (that joke never gets old) pushing down now, at her haunches, moving in a circular pattern on either side of her, sending a spasm that made her eyes briefly feel like they were rolling like marbles in her skull. His hooves seemed to push past her coat, her skin, straight into the muscles, the nerves, every touch causing her to feel like she was some coil unwinding, growing loose and limp, muscles almost numb with pleasure, a tingling sensation, like pins and needles but somehow good instead of bad, spreading through her, washing over her, as Topaz found that somewhere during it all she’d let her tongue roll out her open mouth, her breathing almost like panting.

“I-Idol wait I think ~oh~ I think maybe we ~ah~ should ~ngh~ should-” Perhaps it was because her words were hard to hear through all the muffled moaning, and she didn’t help herself by gnawing on her own, quivering, bottom lip so much, but he seemed not to hear her. As a result he didn’t stop, his hooves continuing to glide over her, doing things she’d never known a massage could do, kneading her like some lump of dough till she was nice and soft and oozing almost off the couch. It didn’t help that she’d distinctly begun to become aware of another sort of warmth growing between her thighs, one which she was sure she should be telling Idol to stop for...but found that her mouth seemed to have stopped working the way she wanted it too.

Then, mercifully, Idol stopped. Topaz’s chest rattled with a heaving sigh, somewhere between disappointment and relief, her whole body sliding almost, as if it’d become some limp noodle of a thing, threatening to simply melt off the couch into a puddle.

Thank goodness nobody had walked in on them to see! What a misunderstanding that could have lead too! Now she could gather her thoughts at last and asked him how he was so bucking good at-

"Very well, I believe I now have an accurate awareness of your anatomy," Idol’s voice cut through Topaz’s thoughts like butter, freezing her up as she heard the next words almost in slow motion; "Now I can begin the massage!"

"Huh?" Topaz, very eloquently, asked. She had to blink twice, had she really just heard...what she thought she had?

"What do you mean 'now you can begin the massaaaah!!!!!!!" Topaz couldn't describe the noises that came out of her mouth as Idol worked his magic, hooves digging into her back, finding places she’d never known existed, pressing down till it felt like his hooves were inside of her.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

And with every pop Topaz felt as if her entire world was briefly nothing but the sensation of those hooves on her back, roaming as they pleased, touching as they pleased, and she couldn’t muster a single care to give or protest.

“Is this helping Topaz?”

“YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!” She, rather succinctly, answered. The next day they would have to deal with red-faced and embarrassed glances from their neighbours, for all the racket they made, but that was future Topaz’s problems. Right now, for present Topaz, there was only one thing that mattered.

“Sleep. Sleep. Sleeeeppppppppp!” The mantra was, lamentably, not working, even when she tried to force it through grit teeth. Topaz grunted in annoyance before slowly, gently, gingerly, she began to shift from her side, easing into a sleeping position on her back, feeling the mattress begin to touch her and-

“Ah~” she turned over on to her stomach at once, even the brief brush of the mattress on her back having sent a shudder of pleasure through her that left the pegasus mare panting somewhat, a wet spot on her pillow from some errant drool beneath her.

“Ugh! This is stupid! Just...just do some mental exercises Topaz! It is just a massage, a good one, but it is still just a massage! It is not going to stop me going to sleep!” She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, picturing for herself a calming, insect-laden, grove, manually controlling her breathing, feeling her slight chest rest and fall with every inhalation and exhalation. It was just a massage, it didn’t feel that good, it was just a massage, it didn’t feel that good…

She felt it working, felt her thoughts growing groggy, fogged over, conscious giving way to the subconscious. The sun was shining on her, feeling so good on her coat, lulling her, as she felt the soothing, wonderful, sensation of a pair of hooves begin to trace along her back-

“Gah!” She was upright at once, blanket thrown aside, panting, short mane a mess, wings still flared out to her annoyance, having only somewhat begun to droop.

How? Why? What had made a Changeling’s hooves so...so…

Magical? Wonderful? Miraculous? Heavenly? Divine? All words which sounded to hyperbolic to believe and yet...and yet...and yet…

The memory of those hooves, of the magic they worked, had her here, unable to lie on her back, unable to sleep! It had felt good! So good! His hooves had only been on her a few minutes at most but...they had been like the hooves of a musical virtuoso, expert in every motion, playing her like an instrument, leaving no pain but only euphoric memories that now had her suffering from insomnia! Even hours after he’d finished her whole body felt tender, raw, as if he’d left her absolutely naked to the world around, the smallest touch on her back sending arches of pleasure that left her near helpless and spasming.

“Wait! No! That’s not...ugh! Why am I drooling? Dammit Idol this is all your fault!” She grumbled to the darkness about her, a hoof wiping the string of drool that had formed over her bottom lip, before reaching behind to stroke her back, but then retracting when even the slightest contact made a moan escape her lips, thighs grinding together. When she finally managed to calm down again, with some steady breathing, she had come to a conclusion.

There was no alternative, she was simply going to have to ask him for another massage. For...research purposes...yes. Research purposes.

“And that’s why you need to give me another massage,” Topaz finished confidently, already strewn across her couch, looking at Idol with the smug grin of the self-satisfied. This was going to work.

“I...do not understand, how does this relate to your field of study at all-”

“Idol who’s the entomologist here?”

“You are,” he conceded, there was no arguing it.

“So who knows what is or isn’t relevant to my studies?”

“...you do,” again he did not have any rational grounds to object, the logic of it was sound.

“Then shut up and hooves up!” She stretched out, on her stomach again, quivering with such excitement that she seemed like some filly awaiting a present. Idol assumed it had to be because she had more important things to do, and wanted him to finish fast. Well if that was what she wanted;

“Very well, please take a deep breath and-”

“Was that sufficient?” Idol stepped back, forelimbs once more touching the ground, staring at Topaz past two wings standing ramrod straight up in the air, feathers flared out to such an extent that, it dawned on Idol, he had never seen Topaz’s wings in such a condition before.

“-’s gooooooddddddddd~” Topaz’s words slurred in a manner Idol felt was reminiscent of some of the Guards following a particularly rowdy night at the bar, although her tongue hanging loosely out from her lips certainly didn’t help make her anymore easy to understand. The pegasus mare’s face was...disconcerting, a smile plastered over it so wide that Idol wondered if she was seeking to distend her jaw, her eyes were glazed over, unfocused, and every breath seemed to end on a delighted sigh, her whole body undulating in an almost serpentine fashion.

“~Mhmmmmm~” the damp spot beneath her chin, where the drool still currently leaking from her open mouth had accumulated into a puddle, was also concerning for Idol, as he was rather certain Topaz would not normally lie with her face in a puddle of her own saliva, let alone on a couch. Although the sheer intensity of contentment, satisfaction and bliss that emanated off of her in waves made it impossible for him to conclude that she was in any discomfort or danger. Indeed considering how good she seemingly felt Idol wondered if he perhaps should offer such aide to his other stressed companions. After all was the Harmony, ponies were so fond of not based in doing good to others?

“So shall I...may I get going?”

“...’ore,”

“Excuse me?” He approached closer, finding it hard to make out Topaz’s words right now, the syllables sliding together in her dazed slur.

“MORE!”

Shining Armor and Bold had, regrettably, declined Idol’s offer of assistance. He understood both were under stress, particularly Shining Armor, but at his suggestion of a massage they became evasive, eyes darting around, as if worried others were listening, finding a series of escalating excuses to turn him down. Why, even when he’d offered to let them hear Topaz’s enthusiastic approval of his massages they had, for some reason, blushed and become even more adamant in their refusal. Topaz had tried to explain that apparently the cause of this was something rooted in the strange conceptions ponies had about gender roles in interaction between male and female ponies. Or something like that.

Fortunately he had found one peer willing to let him help her.

“You got some pretty weird interests, you know that Hooves? I mean I ain’t judging, you do you, but massage ain’t...ain’t exactly what you think of when you look at a Royal Guard Stallion, now is it? But what kinda friend would I be if I didn’t help your practise your hobby, eh?” Wispy couldn’t help but chuckle as the two made their way to Idol’s chambers, the guard mare internally cracking up at how frank and seriously Idol had asked to ‘help alleviate her stress’. Another mare might have thought this was all some cheesy effort at a pickup line but Wispy knew Idol better, rumours notwithstanding, and knew that the idiot was normally basically one-hundred percent literal and serious in everything he said.

Besides, if news of this happened to trickle back to a particular Stallion of the Guard and motivate him to get off his big ass then...well, who was Wispy to complain?

“Alright then, let’s see what you got, and don’t feel bad if it doesn’t help much, okay? I got nerves of steel and skin tough as a Cragadile! So just do your best and I’m sure you’ll do good,” Wispy boldly proclaimed with a half-smirk (she didn’t do half-smiles, oh no, half-smirks) puffing out her chest as she did so.

“After you,” the two stepped in closing the door behind them…

...oblivious to the eyes that watched, the ears that heard. Mothchaser. Oh poor Mothchaser, always getting the wrong idea, always coming to the wrong conclusions. In the poor batpony’s defence what exactly was she meant to think when she saw Idol Hooves entering his chambers, alone, with the lovely, vibrant and charismatic Wispy at his side?

See what he’s got? Skin? Alone with her? In there?! Oh! This...this has to be...n-no I’m probably overreacting, nothing to worry about I’m sure, I should just go back on duty, yes.

Mothchaser did not go back on duty (something she would be punished for later). Instead, overcome with curiosity, the batpony crept with signature stealth to the door, her ears twitching, pressed against it, but the thickness meant she only caught bits and pieces of their voices coming through.

“-armour’s off, so where should I...on your cot?”

“That should be...say if anything hurts...could you move your wings, I need to see your…”

Scandalous! Completely against the sort of professionalism the Royal Guard should display! Why Mothchaser was incensed at such a flagrant violation of regulations! She should report them! That way they would be punished for not including her in their- um, for b-breaking the rules (and certainly no other reason at all!)!

She glowered, not even noticing her one hoof digging into the ground so hard it was denting it. She had a half a mind to fetch a senior officer when her ears perked...and detected a...new sound…

“Okay so when you are you gonna start...can’t spend all day just waiting for you too- OH MY SWEET CELESTIA’S JUICY FLANK!”

Mothchaser was, in truth, a sweet mare, an innocent mare, a sheltered mare, but even she could recognize what a moan was. Even she, at the most basic, primal, biological fact of her femalehood knew what a sound of pleasure was. And, by Celestia, she had just heard it.

“Is it good?” Only Idol could ask a question like that, in such a situation, and sound earnest. Mothchaser was convinced that he could only be so dispassionate about it all because his sheer list of conquests must have made him, by now, apathetic and immune to even the most brazen displays of lewdity and salaciousness.

“It’s bucking amazing, that’s what it is! ~Oooh~ where did you ~ngh~ where did you ~ah~”

“Where did I?”

“It doesn’t matter ~ohh buck yes there! There!~ m-matter! Just ~oooohhh~ don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

How lewd could one be? And profaning Celestia’s own name? Why at this very moment Mothchaser was filled with a furious, feral, righteous need to wreak vengeance upon Wispy which was not at all motivated by a surge of jealousy, no siree, nothing but the righteous need to do her duty as a Guard and stop such unprofessional behaviour.

“Lower! ~Ahhhh~ lower! Yyyyessshh~ ~oh~ that’s it ~ngh~ I need that so bad~ touch all over there~ ~mhmmmmm~”

This was getting out of hoof rapidly! And not at all just because Mothchaser’s thighs were beginning to slide together. She needed to put a stop to this! To end it! She needed to-

“Halt in the name of decency!” In retrospect it was not the best or most intimidating opening line, but as Mothchaser threw open the door and stepped in, she was preoccupied with more important things.

The sight before her burned itself into her retina; Idol Hooves straddled Wispy who lay flat on her stomach on his cot, stretched out, writhing and undulating like some sensual, tempting, serpent, moaning and mewling, her wings flaring out to the side in a physiological gesture Mothchaser knew all too well. Idol’s neck craned back to look at Mothchaser and, even now, seemed completely innocent, as if he had not an inkling of shame for what she’d heard, what she’d seen, greeting her as if this was something completely ordinary; “Hello, Mothchaser, I must ask that if you are going to enter my chambers you please do knock first, it is only polite too-” he droned on, though Mothchaser had ceased hearing what he said long ago.

By contrast to Idol’s calm Wispy had seemingly not even noticed her arrival. In fact the only thing the Pegasus seemed concerned with was the fact that Idol’s hooves had stopped whatever it was they had been doing; “~Nghhh~ don’t stop! Pleeeease! Don’t stop! C’mon ~ah~ I need more~ ~oohhh~ pleeease! I’m begging you! D-don’t drive me crazy!”

“W-what den of sin is this?!” Mothchaser could only gawp, could only gape, mind trying to comprehend what strange and...frankly difficult to understand lewdness must surely be happening before her. Wispy, the Pegasus who was always so sure of herself, so in control, seemed to writhe beneath Idol’s sensual hooves helplessly, her body responding to his slightest touch, jerking and shuddering, like she were some puppet on strings!

“I am assisting Wispy to relieve stress, do you need to relieve stress as well?”

Had he just...asked her to join them in his strange studly code language? Had he just brazenly invited her, even as he straddled another mare, to experience the same heights of bliss? What rudeness! So uncouth! The arrogance! The audacity! Did he think he could just seduce her with some blatant question?

“...yes!”

Two mares stumbled out of Idol’s room, the door closing behind them, a pegasus. Their armour was only haphazardly draped over their bodies, saddles leaning to one side, Wispy’s helmet clinging to one side of her face, whilst Mothchaser’s was so far forward it almost obscured her vision.

They didn’t really walk so much as stumble out, woozily, swaying from one side to the other, as if they were dizzy, struggling to walk straight. Walking in a straight line seemed like such a chore now. The world had been turned upside down and inside out. The red flush tinting both their coats’ only added to the impression that they’d gotten themselves sodding drunk. Certainly it didn’t help that every time their armour even somewhat grazed along their backs they froze and went rigid, stock still, biting down on lips to keep from moaning, releasing panting breaths in the aftermath, chests heaving from the strain.

Mothchaser was still trying to comprehend it, to compute it, what had happened. One moment she’d been lying down, confused, starting to realize things were not what she’d assumed, and then the next...pleasure. Indescribable, white hot, pleasure of a sort she’d never known. How had he even done it? She wasn’t sure. He’d placed his hooves down on her haunches trailing her spine, and then...everything went white! Her entire world had become for a few minutes nothing but ecstasy. Even now neither she or Wispy had the wherewithal to even brush the chains of drool that hung from their quivering lips.

“We ~ah~ g-got to keep this between us, right? We c-can’t let any other pony know, right? Can’t ~mhmm~ let them steal- uh, I mean, ~ngh~ let them...tempt Idol,”

“Y-yes we can’t ~oh~ cannot let anyone else know, we have too ~oh~ f-for his own good,”

The two Mares had an almost telepathic link, as if they’d both come to the same conclusion at the same time, nodding, as they headed towards a desperately needed shower.

The morning was filled with soft birdsong, the Royal Gardens of Celestia’s palace playing host to a beauteous scene. The reigning Alicorn of all Equestria sat perched about a white table laden with goods and sweets and tea, her young niece by adoption, the beautiful Princess Cadance, sitting opposite her, tri-coloured mane, lustrous and shimmering, streaming down her svelte back, cresting over a rounded, thick, pair of flanks.

Cadance broke the tranquil silence first. “You know...I’ve actually been hearing this strange rumour, Auntie,” Cadance said, over a cup of tea, watching her Aunt, scrutinizing her, looking for any tell or signal, her shimmering eyes so beautiful and, yet, at the same time possessing a quality for perception which exceeded almost any other’s.

“That’s nice dear,” the older Alicorn seemed rather uninterested though, eyes parsing over some or other newspaper, even as she fed herself cake.

“Indeed, it’s about that Corporal, Idol Hooves? Remember? The rather odd one,” No reaction was evident so Cadance pushed on. “Apparently, I’ve heard, he’s secretly running some sort of lewd parlour from his room...not that I’d believe such a thing, of course,” her mane was tossed behind her in a calculated move of indifference, shining and sparkling as it did, the sort of gesture which would normally have crowds of Stallions (and Mares!) gawking in awe.

“I’m sure it’s just the usual nonsense, rumour mongering, you know, I’d pay no attention to it,” Cadance’s eyes narrowed, noticing the tiniest slip-up, the brief dip of the cake-laden fork which hovered in her aunt’s grip.

“Yes, nothing,” she sipped at her tea, ominously.

“Really Auntie?” Cadance tried to keep the smugness from her voice and grin, albeit she didn’t try very hard. The beautiful pink Alicorn Princess leaned against the wall of the chamber, eyes watching the generous figure of her Aunt splayed out, Idol standing on one side, hooves at the ready to tend to all that alabaster flesh.

“It isn’t what it looks like! It’s just a massage!” Celestia’s head rose up alarmingly fast, her voice tainted by only a hint of desperation and shame, the red blush vibrant on her white coat.

“That is correct...what would it be other than a massage?” Cadance ignored Idol’s charming obliviousness with a giggle, strutting next to him and patting his head with one hoof, as if congratulating a pet. Her eyes slid back to Celestia, a predatory gaze in them, like a cat playing with its food.

“If you wanted a massage we could have just organized for some masseuses you know, there’s no need for all this ‘cloak and dagger’ nonsense,”

“I too did wonder that, there must surely be ponies far more worthy than I to tend to you-”

“Idol, not now please, the Princesses are speaking,” Cadance silenced his usual rambling with a hoof to the mouth as Celestia gave an adorably Filly-like whine, as if she’d been caught doing something naughty by her parents.

“I didn’t...intend for it to go like this! I just...I asked Idol once...and...and...oh! Cadance you don’t understand! It just feels so ~goood~ I couldn’t stop!” The way her voice wavered at the word, biting down on her bottom lip, suppressing a shudder, Cadance couldn’t help but tilt her head in confusion. To do something like that to her Aunt...how good could it be?

“Oh come on Auntie, this is too rich, a massage? Really?” Cadance had to suppress another snort, although watching her normally prim and proper Aunt blush was rather cute. “You honestly expect me to believe you’ve been acting this silly over a massage?”

Celestia groaned, covering her face with her hooves; “It just...it feels good, so...so good, I...I couldn’t help it!”

“Ahahahaha! Oh my gosh, seriously Auntie? I never realized you were such a lightweight!” Now Cadance couldn’t hold it back anymore, bursting out into gales of laughter, Idol still with her hoof on his mouth, looking between the two Alicorns and just assuming his confusion was due to them discussing matters far to important for a being as lowly as him to understand.

“Lightweight?” An eyebrow twitched threateningly on the elder Alicorn’s face; “Hmph! You would not even last a second if he had massaged you, dear niece,” the laughter died at once, the pink Alicorn lowered her face till it was inches from the other’s, eyes locked.

“Is that a challenge I hear?”

Celestia grinned, trap sprung. “Oh, no challenge, just a fact. Someone as delicate and sensitive as you couldn’t possibly take it,” Celestia said, voice laced with faux concern something she had many moons of practise with.

Cadance gave a derisive snort, her nostrils flaring; “Challenge accepted, and I want you to watch Auntie, I want you to see exactly how much of a lightweight you are compared to me!”

“Agreed, Idol will massage us both, whoever can endure it without showing any sign of enjoyment wins, agreed?” The competitiveness of both Alicorns had been stoked now, royal egos on the line, Celestia and Cadance locked horns, not even looking at Idol as they laid down the terms of their duel.

“Agreed!”

Idol was not asked if he agreed.

"Oh..." Cadance had whispered in surprise, but that whisper soon gave way to a much throatier, huskier, noise. "Oh. Oh! Ohhhhhh yessssss!"

Not a bit of acting, not in the slightest.. The second his hooves had touched her back it was like nothing in the world. Determining who had lost first, between Celestia and her, was next to impossible at this point, what with how their moans had blurred together into one sound. It hadn’t been easy either, Idol was forced to clamber up on top the two Alicorns, standing with two hooves braced on one, two hooves braced on the other, mounted on their backs in a rather ungainly fashion, as his hooves had begun to dig into their backs.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the two Princesses on whom’s shoulders Equestria’s fate rested held more tension in them combined then all of Canterlot, and thus when Idol began to knead that tension out of them...well...

"There is an enormous amount of tension contained within you both," He stated plainly, as he was want to do, "If it would please you might I release it?"

"N-no objections from me!" Celestia wriggled and writhed under his touch, her ponderous, round, jiggling flanks rippling as his back hoof ground into them, like they were white clay.. “Ooohh~ do whatever you want~ just don’t stop~” Cadance added, her tongue lolling out her open mouth as she felt her eyes go squint, rolling to meet each other at the center of her face. So good! This was a massage so deep it touched the bottom of the ocean and kept right on going. It felt like every muscle in their backs were being loosened up, draining away liquid tension that had built up for years and years and years. It was like they were clay and his hooves those of a potter, taking all that tension and stress away, moulding it and shaping it into something new, something better.

“Oh! In my own name this feels good!” Celestia released a breath as if she’d been holding it in for centuries, letting her face drop down into the pillow with a dopey, idiotic, vapid grin, not an ounce of intelligence showing, as her eyes began rolling upwards towards the roof.

“Your name? In my name, thank you very much! ~Mhmmmm~” Cadance countered, even as a soft pop made her go rigid, face freezing up briefly in a rictus expression of bliss, a sparkling chain of drool oozing down her chin with a; “Guuuuuuu~” before she seemed to limply drop with a coo.

Cadance didn’t even notice the way her haunches reared up as Idol’s hooves sank in deep, tail flaring up, pushing herself against him, as if wanting him to go even harder, leaning herself into it, aching for it. It felt to the Princess as if her entire person had become nothing but the sensations coursing through her from Idol’s hooves, every nerve ending in her body firing nonstop, waves of bliss that seemed to be washing over any conscious thoughts. For that moment the Princesses didn’t have to worry about their kingdom, their ponies, their burdens, they were briefly lost in being nothing but the joy of Idol’s hooves, helplessly moaning, their senses at his mercy, their only liberty to observe and feel the debilitating euphoria of it all. Cadance’s mouth hung open, a puddle of drool forming beneath her, as Celestia beside her buried her face deep into the pillow.

It was almost unbelievable how good it felt and yet...and yet...

“Alright then, now, I think I can begin the proper massage, Alicorn anatomy takes a little time to get used to, I see you can endure considerably more pressure than a regular Pony, but I believe I should now be able to start the massage, I hope it is to your likings, your Majesties!”

“Did that help?” He asked when all was said and done, filled with that satisfaction, that contentment, that came from knowing he had done his duty and he had done it well!

Idol turned to look at the sight before him; twin Alicorns lay spread-eagled on the cot, tongues hung from open mouths, expressions of absolute joy, manes were mussed and draped over, panting breaths and moans escaping them, and absolute contentment and relaxation emanating from them. A job well done if ever he'd seen one!

“Guuuuuuuhhhh~” came Celestia’s highly coherent reply.

“Yannnnnnnnn~” Cadance slurred in agreement.

True they were making straight, high-pitched, sounds and seemingly muttering in gibberish but Idol, dutifully, simply assumed this was because they were busy with some or other conversation far to advanced for a lowly drone such as him to comprehend.

Still Idol's eye was drawn to the their wings again. It was something he'd noticed with Topaz an with Wispy, something about Pegasus wings. They stood up, rigid, flaring out, feathers bristling, every slight breeze seemingly making the connecting point of the wing and body twitch and elicit a fresh sound from the Mares'. He couldn't help but be curious, after all if he was to do his duty he needed to fully comprehend what it was about the massage that seemed to make Pegasus wings behave so strangely.

"Please continue your conversation, do not mind me, I just wish to examine your wings briefly, to understand-" he was still talking when his hooves brushed their wings, merely brushed them, and learned first hand just how sensitive a Pegasus' wings could be.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note

So this was literally something I just whipped up for fun as a little idea after talking to some people on the Changeling of the Guard official Discord. I didn't intend for it to get so long, or to even post it up here, but some people said I should so, well, here it is!

Thanks to Vdrake for letting me write the idea, and supplying the characters, and thanks to Philosophysics and Equinox for proofreading. This was just a dumb fun, lewd, thing I threw together and I am aware it is very stupid! Try to enjoy if you can!

The Epilogue

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