Tales of Flutterbreeze: Hometown Blues

by Flutterbreeze

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy
Length: 9462

Finally back home, Flutterbreeze, mailpony/secret agent, tries to solve the mystery of a traitor....

The life of a secret agent disguised as a mailpony is never boring. Even when he gets to return home, Flutterbreeze is wrapped up in the mysteries of a double agent, among other things. He also has a new great and powerful neigh-bor, who is sure to keep him from ever having a dull moment.
This story follows the events that happen after his return from the Ponyville and Canterlot missions, both of which are detailed in other stories.

Published 2011-12-13 23:17:13 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-20 01:08:02 UTC

Pie in the Sky

‘Alright, that takes care of all the mail on this side of the Delamare River.’ Flutterbreeze watched the ponies on their yachts as he flew overhead. He flew lower and felt the cool spray of water on his face. He thought of the old myth about Icarus, a young earth pony who tried to fly with artificial wings, only to meet his demise as the sun’s rays burnt them when he flew too high.

He landed down on the familiar side of the river and turned onto Race Street. As he walked down the road, Flutterbreeze caught the sight of a familiar pink pony with very curly mane and tail ahead of him. “Pinky Pie?”

As the mare turned around, he realized it wasn’t her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were someone I knew...” he said awkwardly.

“Oh that’s ok, me and my cousin look so similar that people mistake me for her all the time.” She wasn’t nearly as perky as Pinkie, but still cheerful nonetheless.

“You’re her cousin? I guess that makes sense. I was wondering why she would be in Fillydelphia.” This pony did look a lot like Pinke Pie, but was a different shade of pink, and her cutie mark was a peach, rather than balloons.

“My name’s Peachy Pie. I live in Ponyville like my sister, but I’m here in town for big bakers convention today since its my dream to become one of the best bakers in Equestria.”
“Oh, what’s your specialty?”

“Pie, of course.”

“Makes sense... Oh, I’m Flutterbreeze by the way.”

“Nice to meet you. Looking like my cousin does let me meet more ponies, but it can sure be a hassle sometimes. The worst part is, I’m not the only Peachy Pie in Ponyville.”
“You don’t say... Oh, by the way, would you do me a favor and deliver a letter to your cousin for me?”
“Sure, but, aren’t you a mailpony?”
“I know it seems a bit odd, but... this is a confidential matter.”
“Oh, I think I know what you mean.” she said, winking.
He facehoofed. “No, its nothing like that... Anyways, I don’t have it with me, but I could give it to you at the bakers convention later.”
“Ok, just look for the pie section.”
“Alright, thank you!” he said, before flying off.

Continuing on his daring quest to deliver letters to the rest of the town, Flutterbreeze fought off the forces of hunger starting to assemble in his stomach. The smell of “Filly” sandwiches was tempting, but he knew that the end of the day would bring a great quantity of baked goods, and he wanted to be ready.

Passing by yet another sandwich shop, he thought of the great confusion the name of the town’s famous sandwich caused. To say one was eating a Filly in some other town often brought cannibalistic images to mind, or worse. Still, it was generally regarded as excellent fare for any casual meal.

Trixie had finished her work for the day and was by that time fed up with the disgusting habits of some of Fillydelphia’s coffee-loving ponies. She perused the newspaper. ‘What absolute rubbish!’ Throwing it aside, she decided to entertain herself by standing at the balcony and shooting out blasts of magic towards seagulls. She didn’t actually intend to hit them, since they were far out of range, but it was still a practice of aim, power, and concentra-

At last, the only mail Flutterbreeze had left to deliver was to his own apartment building, which he had skipped earlier. Planning to enter through his balcony, he flew up to the top floor, rounded the corner, and *ZAP* down he fell, several stories, until landing in a tree below.

‘What the buck hit me?’ He rubbed his head and looked up to see a blue unicorn peering down at him, then quickly run inside the building. He facehoofed. ‘Of course...’ He didn’t confront her about it right away, but he did start plotting ways he could get back at her for shooting him out of the sky.
‘Still, she has impressive aim...’

Trixie hastily shut the door behind her and closed the blinds. ‘Ok, no more shooting magic off the balcony. Luckily he’s not dead. No doubt he’s injured and angry though. Damn, I can’t afford another lawsuit right now... Ugh! It’s ok, it’s alright, calm down Trixie. So he fell down a half a dozen stories after taking a magic blast, he’s probably not even hurt. I should just stay inside for a while and... read a book or something, to take my mind off things.’

A knock on the door alerted her. ‘O boy...’ She opened it, instantly petrified by the sight of Flutterbreeze, looking less than grateful. “Can the Great and Powerful Trixie help you?” she asked with an innocent smile.

“Your mail.” He handed her a letter and entered his own apartment, never breaking his angry gaze.

“Thank you.” she slid back into her room and closed the door, then gave a sigh of relief. ‘That could have been much worse...’

Flutterbreeze was relieved that the only task ahead of him now was giving a letter to Peachy Pie and eating a mountain of desserts. He was a bit tired, but in this case hunger took priority to a nap. The sun was going down. ‘Better get going.’

When he returned a couple hours later, he was able to sleep quite easily and blissfully with a full stomach and some tension removed. He was also undisturbed by any surprise magic attacks. ‘Best... pie... ever...’

Shadows of the Past

It was well into the night, later than most ponies ever stayed awake, when Flutterbreeze went to a friend of his, seeking knowledge of the past.

Being one of the oldest cities in Equestria, as well as one of the largest, Fillydelphia’s rich history attracted the attention of many historians who sought to uncover the mysteries of the past. One such pony, Leafymoon, researched the old myths and legends that most ponies had forgotten.
Flutterbreeze arrived at his friend’s apartment, located right on top of one of the city’s
many libraries, unexpectedly. Despite being just after 4 AM, Leafeymoon, and indigo earth pony with orange mane, was wide awake reading a book about Discord. When he noticed the familiar shape flying towards him, he opened the door and welcomed the pegasus inside.

“Flutterbreeze, its been awhile since we last met.”

“Too long indeed, but that’s the unpredictable life of a mailpony for you.”

“So what exactly brings you to this part of town?”

Flutterbreeze looked checked behind him, then said, “Have you heard of a being called Xolotl?”

Leafeymoon looked puzzled. “That’s a very... old and obscure legend. Wherever did you hear about it?”

“The name was mentioned during my time in Canterlot.”

“You went to Canterlot again? Did you see Nightmare Moon? I heard defeated a horde of monsters that were plaguing the town.”

“I’ll tell you about it later. First, I need to know about Xolotl.”

“Whatever for?”

“Oh, call it the burning curiosity of the past’s great mysteries.”

It wasn’t a very convincing excuse, but Leafeymoon got the hint that he didn’t want to talk about it any further. He led Flutterbreeze downstairs to the library, then even further down to the archives in the basement.

“This...” he said, lifting a hefty tome. “is the best source on beings such as Xolotl I have found. The Equestrian Underworld. It is difficult to say, though, how much of it, if any, is truth, and what is just pure legend.” He started turning the pages of the large book to the proper section.

“Maybe some day I can help fix that...”

“Ah, here we are, Xolotl.” They read the section together, silently:

Xolotl, an ancient being of certain mythos, is disputed as being either a god or a monster. His form is a large dog with backwards feet and a face that gives nightmares to any who gaze upon it.

Residing in the underworld, Xolotl is said to drag the sun down to the underworld each night, before it completes the circle of its path again at dawn.

He is a being associated with death, fire, lightning, and bad luck, as well as the evening star.

His twin is Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent deity that was once worshipped by past civilizations now gone, and who contrasts Xolotl in most ways, being associated with creation, invention, and fertility.

Very few accounts are known of Xolotl leaving his dark domain, but it is said that shortly after the rise of Celestia and Luna, Xolotl came out of dormancy and wreaked havoc upon Equestria before being driven underground once more by the Princess of the Sun.

They sat there, pondering the words for quite some time. “Interesting.. say Leaf, do have any astronomical calendars for the evening star?”

The folklorist brought out a chart detailing the path of the start that year. Flutterbreeze traced the line with his hoof as he examined it.

“So, just a few days ago it reached its ‘prime’. Now it’s declining towards its ‘death’, where it will remain invisible until ‘resurrection’. After that it starts climbing towards this point called ‘lord’, before retreating again...”

“I assume you are interested in this because of the correlation between a being’s power and the location of celestial objects?”

Flutterbreeze nodded. “Alright, so there’s still 210 days until it reaches ‘lord’ state.” He rolled up the chart and stood up. “Please let me know if you find anything else about Xolotl. And by the way I think there may be something interesting to find about Quetzalcoatl if you make the right connection.” As he neared the door her turned and said, "One last thing... her name is Luna."

The visit left infinitely many questions in the historian, who spent what little was left of the night researching Xolotl, Quetzalcoatl, and the events that happened in Canterlot recently, hoping to gain insight into his friend’s intentions, with little success.

Flutterbreeze returned to his apartment, thoughts whirling in his mind. Back in his room, he jotted down some notes before writing a letter to Princess Luna.

Sleep

Flutterbreeze was laying in bed, trying to sleep in the middle of the day. Trying, because every time he shut his eyes he heard a different loud noise coming from the room next to his. A crack of lightning, a small explosion, a yell about how something caught fire.
When he started to smell smoke, he decided enough was enough. He got up and walked out to knock on Trixie’s door. She opened it, holding a bucket of water that she had used to extinguish a futon. “What do you want? The great and powerful Trixie does not like to be disturbed.”
“Can you please be quiet? Some of us are trying to sleep.”
“Sleep? At noon? The Great and Powerful Trixie is far too busy perfecting her spells to
care about the whims of an insomniac.”

“Why don’t you find somewhere else to destroy furniture?”

“Why don’t you sleep during the night like a normal pony?” Their voices continued to rise as the argument went on.

“If you set off the fire alarms I’m calling the landlord up here. I can smell the smoke of your smoldering failure from my room.”

She dumped the bucket of water on his head and slammed the door.

“So that’s the way it’s going to be...” he said, dripping.

Late that night, Flutterbreeze trotted up outside Trixie’s apartment door, holding a pair of cymbals he had acquired. He then proceeded to bash them together noisily.

A yell came from within. “Will you be quiet! The Great and Powerful Trixie is trying to sleep!”

He continued banging the cymbals as he responded, “I didn’t get no sleep cause of y’all. Y’all ain’t gettin’ no sleep cause of me!”

As the door opened, the first thing he saw was a potted plant flying towards his head. He blocked it with a cymbal and it shattered onto the floor.

Trixie then appeared and started yelling again, “Stop this racket at once!”

By this time, many ponies from nearby apartments, disturbed in their sleep, began peeking out of their doors. “Knock it off you two! It’s past midnight!”
“He started it!” Trixie shouted, pointing at Flutterbreeze.
“I did not, you did!”
“I’m not the one bashing cymbals in the hallway at one in the morning!”
“At least I don’t practice lightning magic in my apartment!”
“WE DON’T CARE! GET TO SLEEP!” The bystanders started slamming their doors.
“Alright, I’ll be quiet, but I wont sleep.” Flutterbreeze said. “But you! You’d better find someplace else to practice exploding your pillows or whatever it is you do.”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not combust her bedding!”
“GO TO SLEEP!”
Wary of having the manager come up, the two of them quietly returned to their respective
apartments while giving each other an evil stare.

The next morning, Trixie had the day off of work, so she decided to practice magic in Fairmount Park (lest she incur the wrath of the landlord again). She started with making plants grow, then making them shrink. She moved on smokescreens until she got bored of that. Spying a perfect little cloud just overhead, she decided to practice lightning bolts.

Her horn glowed and the cloud became darker. It lit up with a bang, and sent a blue pegasus flying out from it. Flutterbreeze lay on the ground with smoking feathers for a moment.

“What are YOU doing here?” Asked Trixie. “Spying on me?”

“Spying on YOU?” he said, “Don’t make me laugh. I thought I had found a quiet place to take a nap. But apparently I will never be free from your blasted magic.” He sighed and left the park.

Both were slightly annoyed by the incident, but were surprised that the other at least had the decency to follow their advice.

Naughty and Nice

Flutterbreeze awoke at the sound of a loud “thunk” at his balcony door. ‘Must be another bird.’ He walked to his living room and saw hovering above the balcony a grey, blond-haired pegasus. She had crossed eyes and was rubbing her head (where she apparently come into contact with the clear door) but didn’t seem too shaken by the impact.

She held out a scroll as he opened the door. “Letter from Ponyville for you!”

“Thanks, um... don’t I know you?”

“Well, we’re both mailponies, right? My name’s Ditsy Doo, though everypony calls me Derpy.”

“I see... My name is Flutterbreeze.”

As he unrolled the letter she moved around to peer over his shoulder. He could detect the scent of muffins.

“Oooh, a secret message from Pinkie Pie.” She winked and stuck her tongue out slightly.

‘Oh brother.’ He rolled his eyes. “Yes, a secret message... I will go read it secretly now, alone. By myself. Thank you.”

He closed the door behind him, and after a moment she flew off in a random direction. Sitting down at his desk he read the letter, which contained a short message and a list of the names of ponies that had attended his “Welcome to Ponyville” party. He was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the response came.

‘First name: Flutterbreeze. Well that goes without saying.’ He crossed off his own name from the list. ‘Pinkie Pie. Again, rather obvious. I think it’s safe to assume that she’s not the traitor after giving me the list. Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy...’ He felt a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

‘I’m fairly certain none of them are agents, so I can cross their names off. Applebloom... secret agent, but not a traitor. Lots and lots of ponies I don’t know... and then Derpy Hooves. I think I can cross her name off as well.’

He looked at the list again, which had over a dozen names left on it. ‘Multiple choice: which pony is a secret agent AND a traitor? The correct answer is the name you’ve never heard of before, as always. Still, this narrows it down quite a bit...’

Flutterbreeze decided to have some lunch, finding himself unable to narrow the list down any further. He went to a nearby diner, hoping for a sandwich of some sort. A sign just inside the door said “Please seat yourself”.

He looked around the restaurant. A whole third of the diner was empty, while on the opposite side all the tables were full. Then he spotted why: sitting in the corner of the room by himself was... someone he would never have expected to see.

He had a long, green, feathered form, red wings, shoulder plumage in the shape of epaulets, fangs coming from a snake-like face, and a long black moustache. Flutterbreeze recognised him as the captain of Xolotl’s reptilian strike force.

He slowly walked over towards the booth he sat in. The feathered serpent noticed him approach, but instead of having a surprised or malicious look of some kind, he simply smiled at him like an old acquaintance would.

Flutterbreeze was the first to speak. “Well, of all the... people to run into today, I must say you are about the last one I would have expected.”

“I too, could not have predicted such a meeting.” he responded in an accent similar to the ponies of Maredrid, as far as Flutterbreeze could tell. “Please, join me.” He motioned to the empty side of the curved booth, where Flutterbreeze then sat down.

“Before anything else happens,” the serpent continued, “I must know your name.”

The pegasus was already confused by the actions of the one who just a few days prior crossed swords with him, even though he did fight in an honorable manner. ‘It could be some sort of trick, but since the traitor would have found my name out already...

“Flutterbreeze is my name, but what is yours?”

“I yam Caspian Morales, former capitan of the underworld guard.”

“Former?”

“Yes indeed! I had long wished to end my service to the dishonorable rapstallion who calls himself lord of the underworld. However, it was not until you showed up that I saw any window of opportunity. After all, one does not simply walk out of the underworld. But then, with the dog monster put into hiding I thought, ‘Meh, why not move to Equestria?’ And so, here I yam.”

“That’s quite the story. But, aren’t you going to order any food, or were you just planning on sitting here all day?”

“Well, I yave been waiting for the camarera quite some time now, but apparently they are very busy this day.” He shrugged.

“Why don’t I go talk to them...” As the pegasus went and asked a waitress for service, Caspian sat playing with his moustache. As Flutterbreeze sat back down he said, “Now maybe we will receive some reasonable attention. So, what about the other members of your little... brigade?”

“Well, my friend. Sometimes a flying snake must choose his own twisted path. Some, such as me, have chosen to leave the world of darkness behind, but sadly, most of the others have stayed loyal to the creepy canine thing. The rest of those who left are now taking Equestrian language courses. As for myself I self-taught the language using television. The only Equestrian station you can pick up down there is the Foaledo public broadcast, interestingly enough.”

‘That explains the accent.’

An intimidated waitress approached them. “C-can I take your... order?”

“You may!” Caspian said enthusiastically. The waitress looked like she was about to run, but a scolding look from Flutterbreeze kept her in place. “I would like a bowl of your finest gazpacho, and a glass of hot cho-co-la-tay.”

“Same for me, please.”

As the waitress hurried off to the kitchen Flutterbreeze resumed the conversation.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Xolotl has gone, would you?”

“The whereabouts of the coward are a mystery to me as well.” he shrugged. “But, I do believe I know something can help you. You see, he mentioned having an inside source a while back. He says to me, ‘This pony is a great source of information’, he says. He says, ‘such a mundane sort of pony would never be suspected of treachery’ he says. So I says, ‘what makes you so sure?’ He does his maniacal laugh, you know, and then he says, ‘the fools wouldn’t even notice him if he were gone. Unless the sun was particularly hot that day, but I’ll make sure that wont happen.’ Then he does his little laugh again and that’s all I know about it.”

“Thank you for telling me this. I will have to remember these words.” They sat silently for a few moments until Caspian spoke again.

“By the way, I was hoping that I could duel you again sometime. I am ashamed at how I failed the last time we saw each other.”

“Surely, were it not for your love of Equestrian films you would have defeated me.” they chuckled a bit, recalling the scene in their minds as the waitress returned with the drinks.

Caspian raised his glass high and said, “To the brave and valiant warriors of Equestria!”

Thirsty?

One event Flutterbreeze never failed to attend was Fillydelphia’s annual Beverage Convention. Four of his friends set up booths and competed for a chance at winning the coveted Best Drink of the Year award.

Purple Blast, a young vintner, was the brother of the husband of Flutterbreeze’s eldest sister. He was also the cousin of the husband of Flutterbreeze’s other sister, also older than himself. Coffeeflower attended, of course, as well as his bitter rival, Marshmallow Sparkle, the hot chocolatier. His other friend, Appleshine, brought in some of his best apple juice and apple cider.

Flutterbreeze was sampling Appleshine’s cider as they watched Coffeeflower and Marshmallow talk smack to each other a short ways off. “You know,” he said “if they would only put their differences aside and join forces, they probably would win the competition.”

“Don’t hold your breath. The two of them are as sour as lemon juice.”

“More steamed than a kettle of tea.”

“Still, they make a flavourful entertainment, do they not?”

“I see what you did there.”

An irritated Marshmallow Sparkle walked over to them. “Can you believe that guy? He called me a marshmallow!”

“But... isn’t that your name?” Flutterbreeze said.

“Yeah, but he said I looked like a marshmallow!”

“Oh snap!” said Appleshine, then after a stare from the other two he sheepishly said. “Uh, sorry.”

“No offense, but to be honest,” said Flutterbreeze “you do look a little like a marshmallow.” A frown spread across the white unicorn’s face. “Listen, don’t be so sour about it. He’s just trying to put a bad taste in your mouth.” Appleshine started to snicker.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyways!” Marshmallow declared. “Because I’ll prove to him that my hot beverage is the superior! The creme-de-la-creme!” He then walked away proudly.

A few moments later Purple Blast wobbled up to them.

“Uh, hey there Purple.” said Flutterbreeze. “Just curious, how many drinks have you had so far?”

“Ahh you knoooooooooooow, I had to scope out the competition.” he said with a wink, his words a bit slurred. “And you know, everything is just wonderful here, you know?”

“Umm, I think it’s about time you stop.... seriously. Go drink some coffee or something.”

“Weeeeeeeeeeell I guess that’s a mighty fine dandy idea there. Oooh is that apple juice?”

“I’m gonna go check on Coffee Flower. Stay away from the cider.” He walked over towards the coffee-based beverage section, shaking his head.

“Ahh, I see you have come for the best coffee in Equestria.” Coffeeflower said jokingly, pouring his friend a zebra mocha. “Very exquisite taste you have there, sir.”

“So I hear you and Marshmallow have been enjoying yourselves this evening.”

“That guy is such a creeper! With his red eyes, and pale coat, and black mane... oh by the way, who are you going to vote for Best Drink of the Year?”

“The same pony I vote for every year, *takes a sip* the mayor.”

Coffeeflower nearly spit out his coffee laughing. “The city tap water? You are so weird.”

When Flutterbreeze returned to his apartment, he was surprised to find a certain blue unicorn sleeping on his bed. He grabbed his pair of cymbals and bashed them together, waking her up.

“What are you doing in my...” She looked around, very confused. “This isn’t my room...”

“Late night last night?” he said, putting away the instrument.

“I know what you are thinking...” She said defensively, “But the Great and Powerful Trixie was not drunk! I was merely very tired last night... and it was dark.”

“Alright... this never happened.”

She nodded and walked out of the room, embarrassed.

‘I’m never leaving my room unlocked again.’

Damsel in Distress

Trixie sat alone at her desk, writing down the details about a new spell she was working on. ‘The Art of Dephlostigation by The Great and Powerful Tri-’ Her quill snapped. She looked around the desk and inside every drawer for a new one, but was all out. ‘Is it worth it?’ She looked at the blank paper and sighed. ‘Yes, yes it is.’

She got up and walked over to Flutterbreeze’s door, then knocked. A few moments later, the pegasus appeared. “...yeah?” She could tell by the state of his mane and his tired expression that he had been sleeping.

“All the Great and Powerful Trixie requires of you is the use of a feather.”

He blinked a couple of times, then plucked a feather from one of his wings and held it out to her. She hesitated. ‘Not quite what I had in mind... but as long as it can write...’ She took it from him magically and said, “Thank you.” He gave a slight nod and closed the door.

Back at her desk, she began writing again. ‘When using dephlostigation techniques, it is important to remember not to attempt them on a living creature without extensive prior practice. One may also note tha-’ She heard a loud crash from the other room, specifically the balcony door. She nervously tip-hoofed her way towards the living room, levitating a pillow with intent to hit any intruders with it.

She creeped up to the doorway to the living room, now able to see shards of glass on the floor. She started sweating, slowly bringing her head around the corner...

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The scream awoke Flutterbreeze from his nap once again. He grabbed his mailbag just in case and ran to Trixie’s front door. ‘locked... the balcony!’ He flew outside and saw the forcefully broken door. He stealthily scanned inside without setting foot on the floor. Whoever had been there was already gone, but he found a stray piece paper on the floor. He read the horribly written note:

Deer stoopid flyng bloo poknee, we got yor marefrend. If yoo want her bak, fahlo teh map belo. We wil bee wading. -Sirvents of Zolotoll-

‘So they’ve come for me again... And she is NOT my marefriend!’

A city as old as Fillydelphia often holds many secrets under the surface. The sewers and catacombs of the city had expanded over the years to form a complex web of tunnels, passageways, and secret chambers. Nopony knew everything that went on under the city, and a lone traveller like Flutterbreeze never knew what to expect... or who.

As he was rounding a corner, he literally ran into a tan pony with brown mane. Both let out a startled “Ahh!” and back up a few steps.

“You aren’t a flying snake.” Flutterbreeze said.

“I’m not? Well that’s good.”

Flutterbreeze gave him a very confused look. “Who are you? And what are you doing down here?”

“Well, who I am doesn’t matter, as for what I’m doing here, I’m not sure yet. All I know is it’s important. I figure I’ll just follow you around until I find out. What year is this?”

“1001 NM.” He said with an even more confused look.”And I’m afraid I can’t have you following me.”

“Ooh, big, important, secret missiony stuff. Perfect.”

Flutterbreeze thought for a moment. ‘Could this be a new operative? Unless... he could be the traitor. This is a pretty good set-up for a trap. It’s risky, but if I keep my guard up I could turn the tables on him...’

“Alright, you can come along, but first tell me your name.”

“I’m the doctor.”

“The doctor? What kind of doctor?” He noticed the hourglass cutie mark on the pony.

“Doctor Whooves is what they call me around here.”

“Right...”

“So what exactly is it we are doing?”

“Rescuing my annoying neighbor from a horde of feathered serpents who are undoubtedly waiting to ambush me from the shadows.”

“Great, what’s the plan?”

“There is no plan.”

“Perfect!”

They kept walking down the dimly lit corridors until Flutterbreeze stopped and motioned at a ladder leading upwards to what appeared to be the trap door of some basement. “Right up here... you go first.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s me they want, so you go up first and spring the trap, then I’ll fly up there and beat them all up.”

Doctor Whooves pointed a small metal object upwards then looked at it. “You sure? There’s at least ten living creatures up there. And a bowl of pears! I hate pears...”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Well, if we could cut another hole in the floor, that might bring them down to us.”

“But it’s solid concrete...”

They heard an explosion sound above them, followed by some yelling. Flutterbreeze shot upwards, bursting through the trap door. Doctor Whooves struggled to follow using the ladder.

Trixie had apparently busted out of the cage she had been held in, but was still gagged and was being subdued again by a number of winged serpent things.

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!” Flutterbreeze came in with a flying kick that sent the first villain across the room. The commotion he caused by his flamboyant attack allowed Trixie to hop over to a corner and start untying the ropes around her hooves.

Flutterbreeze kept bucking and fighting while Doctor Whooves kept scrambling up the ladder. “Don’t worry I’m almost there!”

When she was finally free, Trixie used her magic and the rope that bound her to hogtie the nearest feathered reptile. Flutterbreeze pulled out his trusty duct tape and did the same to another.

Doctor Whoves finally reached the top. “Alright! *pant* I’m here! *huff* Oh goodness, what is going on here?” He pulled out his metal object and brandished it at one of the serpentine forms. It didn’t seem to have much real effect, but the scoundrels started to realise their ambush had failed.

The ones that were still free grabbed their tied-up comrades and fled upstairs and out a window in the building above. It was too dark for Flutterbreeze to follow them at that point, and he didn’t feel like heading into another ambush.

“My hero!” Trixie rushed over to a shocked Doctor Hooves. “The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you for coming to her aid.”

“But I didn’t do any-”

“No, no you can take all the credit for this one.” Flutterbreeze said. “I was never here.”

“Oh, no you are the one who shall take credit for this rescue.”

“How about we just forget this whole thing!” Trixie said.

Flutterbreeze and Doctor Whooves then said at the same time, “Brilliant!”

“By the way,” said the doctor “I never caught your name.”

“Flutterbreeze.”

“Really? You know I really enjoyed reading your autobiography, though I don’t think you captured me quite r-”

“I don’t have and autobiography.”

“Oh, umm. Never mind that then. I’d best be off before I mess up anything. Besides my ride is waiting.”

“Ride?” Doctor Whooves had already run off. He turned to Trixie. “I guess we’d better be getting home then.”

She had a very angry expression on her face. “Listen, I don’t care what you do during your free time, or what sorts of weird creatures you choose to hang out with. BUT KEEP THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE OUT OF IT!!!” She stormed off.

‘Woah..........’

Hot Pink

Flutterbreeze sat in Eiskaffoal, talking with Coffeeflower and enjoying a bombón. “Have you figured out who the double-agent is yet?” He and Appleshine were the only two friends that knew about Flutterbreeze’s life as a secret agent.

“No, but the list gets shorter every day. Of course, there’s still the matter of finding Xolotl too. I fear he may go dormant by the time I can figure that one out.”

“Hey, you aren’t the only agent, you know? I’m sure others are trying to find the traitor and the monster too. You’ve been putting a lot on yourself lately. Maybe it’s time you took a break. Isn’t that why you’ve gotten nothing but local mail to deliver lately?”

He sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. I’ve been doing nothing but mission junk for too long.”

“You know what I think?” Coffeeflower said, pouring a drink for himself. “I think you need to meet some mares.”

“You know how chaotic my life is right now...”
”I’m not saying go marry someone, just find a mare you like and go on a date.”

At that moment Trixie walked into the door, making Flutterbreeze recoil from the thought. He turned to Coffeeflower and said, “I’ll think about it.” before finishing his cup and leaving.

He decided a stroll through Fairmount Park would be the best way to start a day of rest and relaxation. ‘Sun shining overhead, a slight breeze through the trees, the coo of pigeons, a toothless alligator... wait, what?’

“Oh there you are gummy!” A cheerful voice called out. Its source, a bright pink pony with blue eyes and a balloons cutie mark, then appeared. Pinkie Pie put Gummy on her back and then spotted the surprised pegasus. “Hi Flutterbreeze! Remember me? Of course you do, after all it’s only been a week and you did send me a letter so asking that is kind of silly. But anyways how are you doing? I didn’t expect to see you here, but it a nice surprise. I like surprises!”

“Hey Pinkie Pie, what are you doing in Fillydelphia?”

She never stopped bouncing as she spoke. “Oh yeah, after I got the letter from you and saw that you lived in Fillydelphia I thought *gasp* I’ve never been there before and I’ve always wanted to go. I was just on my way to take Gummy to the alligator history museum, cause I promised him I would if I ever came to Fillydelphia and now I have. Why are you here?”

“I live here.”

“You do? That sounds like fun, you know I’ve heard there’s lots of cool things in this city and I bet it’s a lot of fun!”

“Did you come here alone?”

“Me and Gummy!”

Flutterbreeze thought about what his friend had told him earlier. “Say, would you like to, maybe, do something later?”

“Well of course I do!” she said. “It wouldn’t be any fun to just sit around and do nothing all day.”

“What I mean is... would you like to do something together, with me, later?”

“Well sure! It’s more fun to do things with others than by yourself. Doing things by yourself is more fun than doing nothing, but it still isn’t as fun as doing things with other ponies.”

“Great! So, um... what do you want to do?”

“We could have a party!”

“Well.. I was thinking more along the lines of just the two of us doing something, you know?”

“Um, sure. We could go to the theatre, or go rollerskating, or bake cupcakes, or howl at the moon, or discover a planet, or break the fourth wall, or-” Both of their stomachs growled at the same time, interrupting her.

“How about we go get something to eat first?”

They sat down in a nearby restaurant. Nothing too formal. As they were deciding what to eat, Flutterbreeze glanced out the window. Derpy Hooves was looking in at them. She winked, stuck out her tongue a bit and flew off.

‘I’m never gonna be able to live this one down.’
Pinkie Pie’s tail ended up in front of her. She looked at it and started to chew on it. Flutterbreeze smiled. There was no doubt that there was something very cute about it. “Why are you doing that?”

“Cause my tail looks like cotton candy, and sometimes when I’m at Sugarcube Corner all day baking sweets and stuff it starts to taste like it too!” She looked over at his tail, which was almost as curly as hers. “Besides, I’m hungry! Hey, where did Gummy run off to? Oh, well. He runs off a lot but he always finds his way back eventually.”

“Maybe he went to the dentist.” Pinkie laughed at this. “Now let’s see, soup or salad? I guess I’ll have the soup. That way I can have a soup-er lunch.” She started laughing again.”
‘She would probably laugh at anything I say.’ he thought. ‘In fact...’ He leaned forward, and by the look on his face Pinkie Pie could tell he was about to tell another joke. “Coleslaw.” She burst out laughing again. ‘Yep.’
“Hahahahahaha! I thought you were gonna tell a joke, and then, you said coleslaw! Hahahahaha! You’re so funny! Hey, actually coleslaw doesn’t sound so bad.”

They ate their food very quickly, since they were both famished. As the waitress came over to give them their bill, Flutterbreeze said, “I’ve got you covered.”

“Really? Oh, that’s so nice.”

He smiled. “Hey! I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you go to the Alligator Museum while I deliver the mail, then afterwards I can show you around town, see all the sights?”

“That sounds superific!”

“Great! Let’s meet in the park we were just at.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

By the time they left the restaurant both of them were bouncing with excitement.
‘Oh what a fun day this will be. I must do it again!’

A Little Hospital Drama

Doctor Spine Blast wiped the sweat off his brow. “Scalpel.” A beeping sound kept pace in the background as nurses walked frantically about the room. “Rib spreader.” Nervous ponies watched the operation take place from above. “Sandwich.” His eyes narrowed, focusing in on the task at hoof. “Now the tricky part.” He worked the instruments magically, never losing his concentration.

Teeth chattered as the beeping sped up and became more sporadic. “Damn it, we’re losing him!” Some turned away. The heartbeats were gaining speed rapidly. Sweat poured out in buckets from the medical staff. “BREATHE damn you!” Just one more step to take, everypony was on edge as he made the final move.

The heartbeats returned to normal pace. The patient's chest started moving up and down in rhythm. A huge sigh of relief was made by all as he said, “Alright, sew him back up.”

“You’ve done it once again, doctor!” said nurse Heart Blast.

“No, we did it.” He looked deeply into her eyes.

“My heart has stopped. Can you fix it?” They moved closer, still holding their longing gaze.

“If you can fix mine...” They started kissing passionately in the middle of the operation room, holding their embrace for at least half a minute.

“Ahem!” They looked over to see Flutterbreeze standing in the doorway, obviously not enjoying the show.

“Well, hello there, brother! What brings you here?” asked Heart Blast cheerfully.

“Not a social visit, unfortunately. I need to know...” he scanned to make sure nopony was eavesdropping. “have you received any unusual cases lately, such as claw wounds or snake bites perhaps?”

“A bit of an odd combination...” said Dr. Spine Blast, “but yes, actually we did treat one patient with those types of wounds recently. He’s stable, but unconscious right now.”

“I would like to speak with him when he awakes.”

“Why? I know you’re my brother-in-law but what reason could you possibly have for seeing this patient?”

Flutterbreeze stood up on two legs, revealing the scars on his chest, then went back down on all fours. A shocked look went across the faces of the doctor and nurse.

“Where did those come from?” asked Heart Blast.

“Cantorlot, not a week past. Right now I’m trying to find the one who gave them to me.”

“You’re going to get yourself hurt again, or worse!”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Don’t go chasing after dangerous villains. Just let the police handle-”

“Sister please!” Flutterbreeze had a very stern look on his face. “Just tell me where you found him.”

A New Challenge

Flutterbreeze observed the high-rises of central Fillydelphia gradually disappear, being replaced by run-down apartment buildings and abandoned factories. An uneasy feeling started to grow in the back of his mind.

This was a part of town he had never been to before, and unfortunately one of Fillydelphia’s roughest districts, so Flutterbreeze kept on his guard with every step he took.

As he started down a small alleyway he instantly knew it was a mistake. He noticed he was being followed by two large stallions, and that they were both armed. They got up close behind him as he walked, bracing himself for the inevitable.

The one on his right raised a bludgeon over his head with intent to strike, but Flutterbreeze caught him by the arm and flipped him over on his back. The other dashed in with his knife, by Flutterbreeze was able to use his own momentum against him, sending him straight into a brick wall.

Several other ponies came dashing in towards him. One was met with a hard buck to the face, while another missed a swing with a baseball bat. Flutterbreeze was still greatly outnumbered, and they had him surrounded, but then a pony he hadn’t noticed yet snuck up behind two goons and bashed their heads together, knocking them out.

In the confusion that followed, Flutterbreeze and this new pony managed to take down the rest of the thugs, temporarily at least. The pony opened a door and motioned Flutterbreeze to follow.

As they ran through an old wrench factory, he noted that this was a grey stallion of roughly the same age. He had a magnifying glass cutie mark, and apparently hadn’t brushed his mane in quite some time.

“Terribly sorry for the inconvenience, old chap!”

“Inconvenience?”

He followed the stallion through more buildings and alleyways as they continued to be pursued by the band of hoodlums. Finally they came to a train station where they were able to hop onto a box car just as the engineers started pulling.

“Well now that we’re safe for the moment, you’re probably wondering why those thugs attacked you, although based on the way you handled them it seems as if you had been expecting that sort of thing. Anyways, they mugged you because they though you were me.”

“They were after you?”

“Yes. They haven’t exactly seen me before, but they set up a trap where they expected me to come. Luckily I was able to see this well ahead of time, but now it seems they think you are me. Aren’t you lucky?”

“Hold on a minute. Who exactly are you? And who were they?”

“Some say I am the greatest detective in all of Equestia. Others say I am a lunatic. Most, however refer to me by my name-”

“Shetland Hames.”

“You’ve heard of me? I suppose it’s understandable. But you, my friend, have become the target of one of the greatest criminal masterminds of this age, thanks to one small coincidence. No doubt he will find you and strike again, but don’t worry, with me on the case you should be... relatively safe.”

“This leaves the question of who you are. No, don’t tell me. Let’s see, a cutie mark in the shape of an envelope or a mailbag. I can only assume that is your profession, but what is this in the middle? Scales? A symbol of justice concealed within the mail, I see.”

‘Certainly didn’t take him long to figure that one out...’

“But what else is there?” Shetland continued examining him. “You have a faint scent of coffee, slightly stronger scent of sewage... Ah, here we are! The scars on you torso are from relatively recent injuries, wounds received by the claws of a large reptile. Based on the angle of this one I’d say you were flying when you were hit, so I can only assume it was by something else that could fly.”

“Yes, it’s all quite clear who you are now! You are a secret agent of some sort who was recently involved in the events at Canterlot. Although you succeeded, you are now tracking down your adversary, the ancient legend known as Xolotl, which is the only decent explanation for why you were poking around that part of town. Now then, all that is left is your name.”

Flutterbreeze was stunned by how much he had deduced from such minor details and whatever knowledge he had previously acquired. “I suppose since there are no secrets left I may as well tell you. My name is Flutterbreeze.”

“Excellent, now Flutterbreeze, it is time for you to get off, but I will be seeing you again soon I’m sure.”

Flutterbreeze looked out the train to see that they had been climbing up the side of a mountain and were now at quite a distance above the ground.

“Don’t worry, I’ll push you off at just the right time so that you will have a soft landing.”

“I can fly.”

“Oh, in that case.” He gave Flutterbreeze a hard shove out the door, who started flying back to Fillydelphia, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened.

‘Didn’t I have enough to worry about before?’

Farewell

Flutterbreeze sat in Eiskaffoal, drinking a cup of kopi susu. Coffeeflower was chatting idly to some other customers, while Trixie was busy mopping the floor. The blue pegasus stared off into space, deep in thought.

‘I am going to go insane, if I haven’t already. The mystery of a traitor, still unsolved. The shadows of a dark foe in hiding. Now a criminal mastermind? I’ve got to start making some better acquaintances.’

‘And of course, if it weren’t enough that my life is in danger... my heart is in turmoil. My feelings are torn this way and that. Luna... Fluttershy... Pinkie Pie... and... and...’

“Do you mind!?!” Trixie shouted at a stallion who decided to throw his drink at her when he had finished it.

“No, I don’t mind, actually.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is not a trash receptacle!”

“More like, the great and powerful toothbrush with a mane like that!” The stallion and his two friends burst out laughing.

Trixie’s horn started to glow, but Coffeeflower yelled, “Trixie, don’t use magic on the customers!”

She stomped to the bathroom to clean off and let off some steam. A storm cloud hung over her head, literally.

Flutterbreeze calmly walked over to the table with three stallions who were laughing in a very loud and obnoxious manner.

“It’s not nice to throw your drink and laugh at mares.” he said. “Some ponies might take offense to such rude behavior. I suggest you apologise.”

“Oh, what, did I embarrass your marefriend? Hahahaha-”

Flutterbreeze slammed a hoof on the table.

“Listen punk, usually I’m a nice guy, but today you caught me in a really bad mood. So unless you have a really good dental plan I’d recommend you shut up now.”

“And what are you gonna do? There’s three of us and one of you.”

“Try me.”

The four of them walked out of the coffee shop and into a nearby alleyway. The rest of the ponies inside, who had been silent up to this point, started to whisper to each other. Just a couple minutes past before Flutterbreeze returned, nonchalantly walking back to his seat. He didn’t have a single bruise on him. Everypony just sat and stared at him.

When Trixie finally came out of the bathroom, she was relieved to find that the three stallions were gone. “Why is everypony so quiet?”

The only one who gave her an answer was Flutterbreeze. “They took their business elsewhere after seeing the error of their ways.” That was how he described three stallions being carted off to the hospital with broken jaws, but she couldn’t figure it out from that statement.

Everything started to return to normal after Flutterbreeze left for the post office. When he found his mailbag he was shocked to see but one letter inside. It was addresed to him. ‘Could it be?’ He opened and read the letter. ‘Finally! A mission is just what I need to take my mind off... oh no...’ He facehoofed, then crumpled up the letter and ate it. ‘Of all the assignments I’ve gotten, this has to be the worst.’

He returned to his apartment and put the suspect list and various notes he had taken into a small bag. A couple hours later he went and knocked on Trixie’s door.

“Yes?”

“I wanted to apologise for my behavior this past week.” Trixie stood there shocked, mouth agape. “I’ve been inconsiderate. But you should have some peace from me now. I’m going out of town for awhile, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

The look on her face changed to a more leery and curious one.

“I want you to look after this while I’m gone.” He handed the bag of papers over to her.

“What’s this? Why do you want me to have it?”

“It’s full of important documents. I felt it would be safer than leaving them in my empty apartment.”

“And you feel you can trust the Great and Powerful Trixie after everything that has happened?”

“For better or worse, I have no choice but to trust you. You’ve already gotten mixed up in my affairs, and there is no point in making an enemy with my neighbor over a little lost sleep.”

She looked down at the floor.

“Oh, by the way, help yourself to my leftover snacks.”

“But how is the Great and Powerful Trixie to get into your apartment to eat snacks?”

He smiled. “I’ve seen you unlock doors with magic... like when you took my cymbals.”

“Oh, right...” a guilty look spread across her face. “You aren’t a normal mailpony, are you? You cannot lie to the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“Of course not.” he chuckled. “You are right, but the less you know the better. I should probably leave now before anything else happens. Farewell Trixie, until we meet again.”

“Farewell... Flutterbreeze.”

Another tale finally comes to a close. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I certainly had fun writing writing this, even though it is a bit of an odd compilation. I may end up coming back and editing this story later. Anyways, Merry Hearth's Warming to everypony. As always, any comments, questions, insults, praise, and requests are welcome and encouraged. Advertisements for NFL jerseys are not. -Flutterbreeze-

Home, Sweet Home

Once again, Flutterbreeze flew through the night sky with a full mailbag and great hopes. He was particularly happy that night to fly home to Phillydelphia after being gone almost a week. The flight from Canterlot used up the entire night, so when the exhausted blue pegasus finally returned to his hometown, he decided his first course of “action” would be to take a nap on the first available cloud he saw.

Well into the day, he finally awoke, straightened out his curly, dark blue mane, and trotted along the city streets to his favorite coffee shop, Eiskaffoal.

“Well, look who’s finally back!” He was greeted by his best friend, Coffeeflower, the barista. “Anything interesting happen on your ‘trip’?” He started drinking a cup of coffee.

“I’ve been knighted.” This response caused Coffeeflower to spit out his drink in disbelief. “For services to the royal family of Canterlot.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the front page of today’s paper, would it?” He slid a newspaper over the Flutterbreeze.

“Capital woes ended by Princess Luna: The princess has vanquished a horde of marauding snake-men in a heroic feat to protect the citizens of Canterlot... I may have been involved in it.”

“I thought you were going to Ponyville?” He floated a cup of coffee over to Flutterbreeze magically.

“I did, but the life of a secret agent is always...” He paused a moment at the sight of a blue unicorn with silvery mane, who was wearing an apron and cleaned up the coffee mess very unenthusiastically. “... unpredictable.”

“Oh, this is Trixie, my new employee.” said Coffeeflower.

“Since when did you have employees?”

“Two days ago.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie”, she began to say, “Is only working in this establishment until she can earn enough money to return to her life as a performer.”

“I’ve heard that story many times.” Flutterbreeze said, “So many young mares with aspirations of stardom, reduced to cleaning bathrooms at the coffee shop.”

“I was a very successful performer until a recent... accident. Tell me, have YOU ever defeated and ursa?”

“Yes, actually.”

“You have not!” she said incredulously. “And anyways, the Great and Powerful Trixie does not clean bathrooms.”

“She does if she wants to get paid.” said Coffeeflower.

*sigh* “The Great and Powerful Trixie will now go clean the bathrooms. But then she is going on break!” When she left to do her “duty”, the two stallions continued their drinks and discussion.

“Anything else happen here while I was gone?”

“A bakers convention has started downtown, a taco stand spontaneously combusted, some ponies have been saying that aliens have landed in town.”

“So, nothing interesting, eh?” He noticed his coffee cup was now empty. “Well, I’d better get home before I have to start delivering mail.”

“Alright, see you later.”

Flutterbreeze lived on the top floor of an apartment building not far from Pferdchendorf, the suburb in which the coffee shop was located. It didn’t take long for him to fly there, right to the balcony door. ‘Looks like somepony’s moved in next door.’ He had noticed a potted shrub on the balcony next to his.

Once inside, he set down his mailbag, laid down on his bed, and started thinking about what he had been through recently.

‘Somewhere, right now, an old, evil beast is lurking underground, too afraid to show his face from the world.’ He cringed. ‘Oh great, now I’ve gone and remembered that awful image...’
He relaxed a bit as he thought of the time he spent with Luna.
‘No doubt there is a traitor out there, hiding in the organization. I have to find out who it is.’
All I know is they were in Ponyville when I was... if I even know that. Still, it’s as good a place as any to start. If only I knew any of the agents from Ponyville. The agency keeps the operatives’ identities secret to each other unless they are working together on a mission, and the only one I know of from there is Agent Applebloom, and I don’t think she has much motive for destroying the sun...’

‘What else do I know? They were in Ponyville, found out I was an agent, heard me say I was headed to Canterlot at the party... the party! The list of guests is surely smaller than the entire town’s population, and should narrow the search down quite a bit. I don’t know everypony who was there though, only a few of them... but I think I know who somepony who remembers! I’ll have to contact her somehow, but first...’ He looked at his mailbag. ‘I’d better get all this mail delivered.’

He decided to leave his apartment by the interior hallway, both for a change of pace and to deliver mail to the other tenants. After locking his door, he turned around to see Trixie standing in the hallway by the next door down. They both stared at each other with confused looks for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“This happens to be my apartment. What are YOU doing here?”

“These humble rooms are the temporary living quarters of the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Ok... I’ll just be on my way then...” He walked past, out of the building, both continuing their suspicious and awkward looks. ‘I can tell this is going to be a long day.’