Cough!! Uh...hello everypony..uh..hey, is this thing on? OH yeah Right haha! Just as a procedure to let all you groovy pony friends out there to know that this story is purely fan inspiration. yeah faarr out man!!! and is in no way of any way making any fundage for the almighty corporation that is Hasssbroooo, snickers...so yeah enjoy the literature, let it into your mind!
All seemed normal that sunny day in Ponyville, the birds were out, a cool breeze was blowing throughout the town and ponies were out and about doing their usual pony things. And what's this? Well, if it isn't Spike!! The curious, and innocent purple dragon friend of Twilight Sparkle. Oh hold on, he seems to be in a hurry? Let's just tag along and see what happens shall we?
Huff! Huff! Huff!!
. . .
*Eyes shifting back and fourth..* Almost back to the library!
*Furious running and heavy breathing*
There it is!!! Finally!!
*Slam!!...pattering over to the basement door..*
*Click, grrrooaaannnn....*
Man, I gotta do something about those hinges, luckily Twilight isn't around!
A grin spread across Spikes face, as he had finally made it back from his journey. He had left early last night while Twilight had just gone to bed, of course he left her a scroll telling her that he had some "Errands to run," and would be back sometime later tomorrow evening. This was convenient because Twilight as well as Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were all planning on being at Froggy Bottom Bog all day!
This is gonna be sooo awesome!!! Our purple friend pulled out from a satchel, a small container. He opened the lid and that oh so familiar, earthy, pungent, skunky, sticky aromatic scent filled his nostrils. Spike pulled out a small nugget of weed that he had scored from Blackjack, a local casino pony back in Canterlot. Her and Spike go way back, I mean waaayy back. Blackjack had some of the best herb that anypony in Equestria could get their hooves on.
Spike eyed the bright green and purple haired nugget. It was a brilliant green like an emerald and had deep purple stripes and was glazier than Pony Joe's best donuts. It's aroma was sharp and pungent and left resin on his claws. He set it down ever so gingerly on his rolling table which was right next to a big wooden chest. As he licked the sticky, icky resin from his claws, savoring every bit of it's unique and earthy flavor, he opened the chest.
Light's erupted from the chest, bursting fourth like Celestia herself had just risen the Sun from it's slumber. A single tear rolled down spikes eyes as he pulled out his most prized possession, (that besides the Fire ruby he had given rarity a few months back) a triple percolated beaker with an ash catcher, and it had ruby's and gems embedded in the sides of it. Spike had picked out all the components himself and had melted the glass and embedded only his finest jewls and gems into the side of it. Painstakingly making sure everything was perfect. The glass was clear as crystal, but had a brilliant purple hue about it.
He sat it down and poured only the purest water that he could find into his glass which he had dubbed, "Purple Haze", and then he broke down the bud. It was some of the nastiest herb he had ever laid eyes on. Taking care to remove every stem, and every seed. Finally with a single gram ready, he loaded up the bowl and placed it into the ash catcher.
Perfect! He whispered. With a few last minute checks he looked around and drew in a slow, and deep breath. In the zone, he blew out a small and delicate green flame. It licked the herb ever so gently, slowly roasting it until a small patch in the center had turned color. NOW!!! he thought with excitement, and placed his lips to the ring and drew in a cool and deep breath.
The smoke was tasty as it rolled off of his tongue and slowy down his throat and into his lungs. He kept drawing and drawing and drawing..milking the bong, which was no longer crystal clear, but a glowing purple and smokey sensation. Spike pulled the bowl out after a good drawl and with all his might sucked the bong empty, inhaling. The rush of the smoke and the tingling of the atmosphere interacting had a burning yet cooling effect on his throat. He sat there and held it...held it, and released. A cloud that Rainbow dash herself could have slept on came bursting fourth from the little purple dragon.
He opened his eyes to find his world changing around him. A big cheesy grin crept onto his face as he put down Purple Haze and walked around the room, taking in the outstanding colors and hues of Twilight's basement. Already his mouth was dryer than a desert. He looked back towards his smokin table and satisfied sat down and started to break down the other nugget in the container.
A few minutes later, spike was ready for another rip, one more and he'd be set for the evening. The big cheesy grin got even bigger as it stretched to almost his eyes.
"I'm sorry Aj, let me grab an extra pillow from the basement, I'll only be a second."
"Ah'll come with ya Twi."
...
Spike sat there, trying to process what was happening...Twilight..that we her voice....OH SHIT!!! TWILIGHT IS HOME?!!? Spike's pink eyes grew to a giant size and he couldn't move, he just sat there thinking and running in circles inside his head.
Twilight is back! Oh no!! What will I do?! Shit man!! Gotta...GOTTA HIDE!!!! He lept into the trunk and cowered...then he remembered that he left out Purple Haze with a full bowl ready to go!!
*Snifs..* "Wow! that smell..uh Sugercube..Ah think someone's been blazing up in your House."
"What are you talking about Applejack??"
"You mean to tell me that with all of this here smoke in this basement, that you think somepony wasn't hittin the wacky tobaccy..."
"Uh...Where is Spike?!" "SPIIIIKKKEEE!!!" Twilight called with an annoyed tone, ignoring Applejack's question.
Spike started to shake as he heard their hoofs clop on the floor as they approached the table.
"What in tarnation, Ah've never seen such a pretty lookin piece before.." Applejack said as she eyed Spike's bong. The gem stones were still glowing with the crystal drawing them in. "And look! there's a whole bowl full of the stuff ready to go.." Applejack said, but there was a slight offness in her voice.
"...Aj...What are you doing?!"
"Hehehe.."She chuckled as she sniffed the bud. "Phew partner! That there is some skunky stuff!" That's almost as strong as Granny Smith's!
Twilight cocked her head and stared at Applejack in awe, "Granny Smith too?!"
"Heh, where did ja think I got mine from," she said with a grin. "Bein since it seems to be here all ready to smoke an all...Twi' do you have a light?"
"I do!!!" Spike said it before he could think. The two mares jumped slightly and stared at the very high dragon that had come out of the chest like a Pop goes the Weasle toy.
Applejack dropped down to the floor in a fit of giggles, "Why, he's higher than buzzards nest!!"
Spike stood there and thought...and then it hit him and he too fell over in a fit of laughs and giggles.
"Ah'm sorry Twi' but our dragon friend here has quite the taste in ganje!"
Twilight looked down at spike, distrust in her eyes...and disappointment.
"Spike...how could you have kept this from me..."
Spike looked up at Twilight, and did his best to not snicker at how she had a pink stripe down her mane..it was so...centered, and..and ya know..
*Cough!!* "Twilight, I...I'm ss..ss..*snicker* sorry?" He said with a rapidly approaching grin. His mouth at full dryness now.
Twilight raised her head and looked down menacingly...Spike couldn't help but to keep from snickering even more at how ridiculous she looked.
Then the strangest thing happened. The bong had a pink hue around it, and suddenly it lifted off the table. Spike watched and his eyes got real big..
"Whoa!!" Applejack, what's she gonna do with Purple Haze??"
Twilight was halfway upstairs before it hit Spike on what was going to happen, he took off full speed after Twilight to find her at the top of the steps. She sprinted into the main library. Spike feared the worst, he knew what was to come.
Applejack had gotten up too, no longer smiling but with a worried look on her face. She leapt over Spike and raced around the corner. Spike was out of breath so he had to fight the urge to sit down and rest, he finally made it to the top of the steps. He rounded the corner and mustered up all the courage that his little purple dragon body could handle. Shutting his eyes and letting loose as loud as he could!
"NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
. . .
Spike waited for the crash and the sound of jewels on the floor...but no crash came. Instead he opened his eyes to find everypony in the living room all sitting around a circle. Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight Sparkle all grinning and laughing and looking at Spike. Purple Haze was in the center of the circle along with a few containers and assorted boxes as well.
Spike wandered over down and sat in between Twilight and Rarity.
"Ohhhh...Spikey Wikey....this is the most gorgeous of all bongs I have ever seen!! How could you have kept such a beautiful piece from us???" She said with a long and drawn out set of snickering.
Spike then realized just what was going on as everpony around him erupted with laughter at Rarity who was stoned out of her mind. He beamed with excitement.
"I thought you were gonna Smash Purple Haze Twilight, I was so scared!"
Twilight looked at Spike with honest eyes, and said, "Oh come on now Spike, I would never do that." She grinned.
"Quite frankly I'm surprised you hadn't found out by now," Rainbow dash chimed in with a weary smile.
"How many weekends have we been doing this now??" Pinkie pie managed to get out. She was really slow to talk.
"Since Angel broke his foot last fall," Fluttershy said without skipping a beat. She too had a weary smile on her face. And her eyes were slightly squinting.
"Hey y'all I recon we fire up for another round to celebrate a new smokin' buddy!"
Spike looked around the mane 6 and his lip trembled, once again he was reminded on how truly great his friendship with the ponies around him was. "Hey Twilight, I want you to have the first hit!" Spike said. She nodded and put her lips to the top of Purple Haze and winked at Spike. He sat there and breathed an emerald flame once again.
*Bubbling....*
*Vicious inhaling..*
*Coughing..*
*Smiling..*
The cycle repeated until they had smoked all the weed in the library, hit after hit, toke after toke. They were all the highest of friends all sitting together, blazing up.
Hours went by, of constant giggling, story telling, embarrassing memories, new discoveries, and new folds of friendship were unlocked before them. Soon it was nearly 2 A.M. And there was a massacre of library books, bags of cheesy hay puffs, assorted vegetable juices, fruit juices, vegetable bags and strangely concocted bits and pieces of sandwiches were laden around them.
. . .
"Well everypony, its getting late, I think we should probably head back to our homes for the night."
Unanimously all of the ponies and a purple dragon walked outside, said their good byes, and walked off into the night.
"Spike...do you wanna....um take a note tonight?" Twilight asked with a big smile underneath her gigantic pink eyes, as they both re-entered the library and closed the door with a heavy thud.
"Yeah..probably should because..uh...the Princess might wanna know about our lesson in friendship today!!, but what did we learn again?" Spike scratched his chin as he tried to remember what exactly went down today.
"I don't know...just write something down hehe!" Twilight giggled as she trotted up the stairs to the bedroom.
Spike sat there for a few seconds and pondered. Than an idea ran through his head, and through his cloudy pink eyes, he waddled over to the desk, pulled out a quill and parchment, and began to write down his note to the princess. He rolled it up, walked to the window and sent the letter with a puff of fire.
As he walked up the stairs and turned out the lights, he recalled his message and snickered as he crawled into his bed, next to his best friend in the world, Twilight Sparkle.
~~~~~The End~~~~~
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that weed is fucking great that every friendship is like valuable. Your friends are who they are; your friends. And just because you do something different or like something different, you shouldn't be afraid to hide it form them, if they are your true friends, they will accept you for who you are and what you do. Like today, I found out that my friends love to smoke ganje...and I love to smoke ganje as well...so yeah that's awesome!! WE ATE EVERYTHING AS WELL!!!! Twilight and I are gonna have to go to the market tomorrow and restock our entire fridge...*snickers* Did you know that Fluttershy loves to shove... loves cucumbers?? I didn't know that until today and I was like wow man..that's deep!! If ya know what I mean. But anyways..Celestia, WE need to blaze up sometime ya feel me? Alright well I'm mad tired and I'm glad that I have my friends, they mean Equestria to me, and I love them dearly.
Sincearly,
Spike
P.S.
Forreal we do need to smoke sometime alright! I'll bring Purple Haze and we'll go to the moon!!!
The End!!!
Princess Celestia was resting in her chamber, relaxing through the night and slowly drifting off to a peaceful somber. It had been a long day as she had been in Manehatten all week until just an hour ago. Just how long had she been in the flying chariot? She was about to abandon hope and teleport back to her welcoming and cozy chamber when the tallest tower peaked the horizon. A quiet sigh of relief escaped her as the tower slowly crept closer into view. Celestia had been working non-stop and barely had a moment to think to herself the whole week. The diplomats in Manehatten had proven to be some of the most bitter, stuck up and rude ponies she had ever met. Who knew that the occupants of Manehatten would be so high strung.
Sigh these ponies sometimes need to lighten up just a bit.. Celestia thought to herself as she exhaled a deep breath. The chariot drew closer and the all familiar and gradual dive brought the chariot to a slow halt. The wheels touched ground and no sooner had she thanked and dismissed the two guards, the sun slowly dropped over the horizon. A smile crept onto the muzzle of the regal pony as she began her journey to her quarters.
Celestia rolled over in her cozy bed. It was a little chilly in her chamber, so with a faint glow of her horn, she summoned a big puffy blanket. Enveloping herself within she began to nod off. Counting imaginary clouds puffing one by one over her head.
Twent...twenty twhooooohhhaaaoooo A large yawn escaped from the royal lips as the Sun Princess slowly faded off to sleep.
.
..
...
....
Celestia was sitting in a lush field of green. She looked around whilst upon her haunches and smiled. A few tears rolled down her eyes.
It was magnificent.
So serene..
so peaceful..
So...skunky
Celestia lunges off of her posterior and began to slow motion frolic about the private Canterlot Herbal Garden.
"HA HA HAAA!!!," Celestia swells as she was overjoyed with giggles and laughter as she lept from bushel to bushel, taking in the deep earthy scents of all the different colored and shaped plants. There were hundreds of them, all of varying color, shape, and size...and smell. Not wasting any more time, she took flight as the massive wings unfurled from her sides, flapping in a moderate rhythm, she sped away through the field, scanning for one plant in particular.
"AHA!!" Celesta triumphantly cried aloud. Her target drew nearer and nearer until she came to a screeching halt, hovering just slightly above one plant that stood out from all of the others. Isolated and surrounded by a decorative shelter upon a raised section of land. As to mimic a throne looming over the hall.
"Oh how I've missed you so!!!" Celestia's horn began to glow in gold as she plucked a petite, oval shaped and tri-colored flowering bud from the plant she was hovering about."
She levitated the blue and pink laced bright green bud to her nostrils, and inhaled the familiar scent of her favorite strain and her most proud creation: Blue Hypnosis. As she did, the memories came flooding back to her. Flashing by were vivid images of her gazing upon the approaching night sky without a care in the world. All the while sitting upon a cloud she had pulled from the horizon. Melting slightly into the cloud, Celestia hovers her favorite glass to her lips. Pursing the ever so slightly to allow the cool glass to delicately touch her royal lips.
*POP!!!*
"UHWAaaa!!!" Celestia sat bolt upright gasping and looking around her private chamber.
There was no field of green, nor her prized plants. Before her a stone chamber she recognizes as her evening dwelling. A breeze blows through her room from the window she left open to breath the fresh Canterlot air. A frown forms on Celestia's face as she begins again to mourn her late marijuana plants. It had been just over 600 years today since a decree had been passed preventing the use and harvest of Marijuana in Equestria. Celestia had loved her plants dearly. She cared for them, raised them, and for many years developed her green hoof, sexing and creating her own strains, and in the end had to destroy them. She did her best to try to push the decree away, to delay it's arrival to the royal court. However with the overwhelming support from her guard she had no choice but to pass the decree. The day the law was to go into effect, she performed her last ever harvest. Abandoning her beloved plants, she stashed enough spleef to last her a few years time. She even entertained the idea of hiding her plants. Only a handful of ponies knew about it, and they understood her reasons as to why she did it, and they chose to leave her be. But in the end, even with a hoof-full of ponies knowing about her habit, if it were deemed illegal, what kind of princess would that make her? How could she lead by example of upholding the law and yet be one of the law breakers herself? At the time she imagined what the headlines would say if her plants and her activities had been discovered..
Extra Extra!! Read all about it!! Princess Celestia is a hypocritical weed smoker!!
Not that Celestia would allow something like that to get out and into the kingdom, she couldn't take the chance of the public finding out and thus led to the end of her days as a pot smoker. All the more, introducing another looming feeling, the feeling of guilt for when she had banished her younger sister. Her plants became her escape to help her cope with her immense sorrow. The centuries after her younger sister's banishment drove Celestia to find another love to focus on. After 400 years come to pass, she had found a new love, and grew attached to her plants like no pony could ever know. And with them now gone, the past six centuries were beyond tough. Luna's recent return had indeed lifted an enormous weight off of her back, but Celestia never could forget about her precious plants.
Upon the reminiscing, Celestia had failed to notice a faint smoke gathering within the room. Snapping to she looked around frantically and noticed the smoking scroll now laying on the floor where it had bounced off of her head a few seconds ago.
"Oh...Twilight must have had a late subm..." Celestia stopped herself. Twilight? A friendship report at this hour?? As Celestia craned her neck towards the clock upon her wall and its hands read 2:34 A.M.
"OH buck..I suppose I should take a look since she clearly must have had a reason to send this report at this hour.."
With a quick flare of her horn, the candles leapt to life, bringing light to her chamber. Celestia squinted her eyes as she levitated the scroll up to her face and with a quick unraveling, the scroll unfolded and she began to read.
~
*Meanwhile In Ponyville at approximately 2:37 A.M.*
BLLLUURRRPPPPP!!!
Cough! Cough!
Oh man...what jus.... Spike wonders as he sniffs the air, Twilight's bedroom was filled with a smoldering paper themed aura. Spike clambers out of his bed and opens a window to let some of the smoke out and doing so kicks a slightly smoking scroll at his feet.
"...bu..but princess.....I don'...I don' wanna take a break, I wanna go back to the library..."
Spike looks over at the mound that is Twilight Sparkle on her mattress, sound asleep and dreaming of younger days. He couldn't help but smile at her as he began to uncurl the letter and read it's contents.
Dear Spike,
For reasons unbeknownst to me,
You have chosen to reveal to me a very much illegal act. Due to the hour of the news and as an order from myself, I declare that you are to report to the castle immediately! You will bring fourth all evidence, devices, and yourself to me this evening and I'll...
At that moment Spike felt a very deep feeling awaken from within. A pit in his stomach begins to form as he frantically reads the parchment over again and again. With the fourth time passing through the words, he noticed a glowing from Purple Haze. Looking behind him and without thinking, he touches the beaker and feels himself sucking into nothingness. And with a slight yelp, Purple Haze, his remaining stash and Spike himself...had been teleported.
*Flop, flop..*
...show you what it really means to go to the moon..
Princess Celestia
Author's Note
Hope y'all enjoy this little spin. Nostalgia piqued me to look at my stories again.
HondaRider92 is back.
