Lazy Day Tuesday

by Jaycren

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Romance, Moondancer, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 1913

Twilight is requiring Dis and Mis to report to her at least once a week, But the two are busy ponies. So who do they call? Why Mis's Brother, of course! When do they ask him to do so? On A Tuesday!

Mis and Dis are relaxing on a lovely Tuesday morning. The screams of terror from the outside muted by the soundproofing on their house. The Ponyville Problem Solving Pair are snuggled in bed but one thing is ruining their day off. Both have to obey the order of their Princess, she is technically their boss and does sign their paychecks (or at least spike does). Neither have time to brief the Neurotic Noblewoman on everything they do, so how to solve it? Why send Mis's brother, of course! When to get him to go? Why today, on their day off. That way no one can say they didn't try. And it won't be their fault if the report can't be done any other day. Mis's brother will still get paid, and they can go on with the rest of their duties undisturbed. But what happens when Twilight has her own business to care for? Who will she pick to take her place? Read on and see.

Published 2019-06-08 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-08 16:50:01 UTC

The Plan is made, The Board Is Set!!!!!

Dis and Mis snuggled tightly against each other, the blankets heavy and warm amidst the cold house. Mis had her muzzle rested on Dis's scared, broad chest, listening to his amalgamated lungs breath deep in his sleep. Dis had his right arm, wrapped tightly around Mis's strong form, the black carapace of the former owner on full display.

"Dis," Mis spoke, betraying her wakeful state and shattering the peace, "what are we going to do about Princess Twilight's progress reports?"

"Shh," Dis quieted his mare, betraying his own lack of sleep, "First rule of Snuggle is never interrupt the Snuggle. Second Rule of Snuggle is never interrupt the Snuggle."

"Oh stop," Mis tried again, "We need to figure this out. Who's going to do it? And when? We ain't got no time for dat!

"Ugh," Dis gruntled, "Why are you breaking the rules of the Snuggle? The punishment is, Ten Thousand Kisses!!!!!

Dis shifted his weight, causing his special somepony to slip off his chest, as he descended upon her, enacting the terrible consequence upon one that would dare to break the Snuggle. Mis squealed as Dis kissed her, beginning at her head and working his way downward. Her squeals turning to moans as he slipped under the covers and neared his desired destination. However, despite herself, Mis stopped her overeager Boytoy and dragged him back upwards.

"Enough, I'm serious," Mis spelled out for her lovestruck deviant, "She is technically our boss since she ascended. I know Spike signs our checks, and we've been given free reign to do our job, but we can't ignore this."

"I know," Dis placed his head on her prodigious chest as he clutched her tightly in both arms, "with manticore season being pretty bad this year, I had to actually pull in Aurora. I really don't have anytime to deal with the pretty princess's power play. Everyone else leaves us to our job, why can't the friendship freak?"

"Don't be an Ass." Mis stated, "Well, if you already tasked Aurora with thinning the Manticores we can't have her do it."

"Besides that," Dis affirmed, "She's picked up a new guy, seems pretty serious about him too."

"Oh? Mis read between the lines, "She won't be bored for several weeks, who's the victim?"

"Garble," Dis appeared to consider something, then smiled, "you know, we could send your brother, he's off from his regular job on Tuesday."

"It's true, " Mis filed away the garble connection for future reference, "And he's on break from the Academy."

"Also," Dis tasted the return to the snuggle in his next words, "If we send him today, it's likely The Average Alicorn won't be able to meet him. She'll be to busy doing what we do all week! So he'll get paid to do nothing but wait for her! Hasn't he been wanting access to the library in that friendship castle for a while?"

"I love it when you're devious sometimes," Mis placed her hands behind Dis's ears, he started to purr as she scratched his head, "You are just a big cat, you know that?"

"Keep doing that and I'll be anything you want," Dis contentedly sighed as his horn glowed, "Message is sent to Muffin, she'll make sure it gets to him, and now back to bed!"

"Or you could continue what you started before," Mis took her hands from behind Dis's ears, "After all, you should really learn to finish what you start my love."

Dis smiled, his head disappearing beneath the covers, he once more resumed his favorite duty, privilege, and honor of being Mis's special somepony.

Twilight hovered before the chalkboard, her figures were perfect. All she had to do was perform one last triple check, then she and Moondancer could break for lunch.

"Excuse me Princess," A male voice that was not Spike echoed up to her, "I believe you forgot to make this number a negative."

Twilight glanced down, to see a slender earth pony of indeterminate age, he was palest white, with a messy black mane, and wore a black suit and tie, on his flank was a red circle bisected by a red X. He had one hoof of blackest night extended as he pointed to a section of arcane figuring.

"He couldn't possibly be.." She began, but Moondancer interrupted her.

"Actually Twilight, I think he's right," Moondancer remarked, "it looks like you forgot to carry the negative over from here."

Twilight's eye began to twitch, sinking to the ground she scanned where the stallion and her friend had pointed, sure enough it was exactly as they said.

"But that would mean..." Twilight muttered.

"That the entire equation from that point onward is incorrect and needs to be done completely over." The Pale stallion critiqued, "that one error, changes all the values."

Narrowing her eyes at the intruding stallion, Twilight growled, "Who exactly are you?"

"Twilight, might I have a moment." Moondancer interrupted.

Not waiting for her friend's response, the turtleneck clad, bespectacled mare teleported the two of them. Twilight shivered at the sudden coldness, and promptly lost her shit when the purple princess saw where her normally sedate friend had taken them.

"Moondancer, why in the buck are we on a random mountaintop? How do you even have this much power! There aren't any mountains this high up anywhere near Ponyville. What the shit?! You better have the power to get us back, because I have no bucking idea were we are, and I am not teleporting without knowing the exact placement. I have no interest in moving in space but not time. Luna may be able to survive in space but I am not so sure about myself or you!" Twilight ranted.

A hand was shoved in Twilight's mouth, "Shut it Sparkle!" Moondancer snarled, "I have been lusting over that stallion for over a year now and I will not be denied! So whatever the reason he's here you're going to let me in on whatever it is, or so help me even you being an Alicorn won't stop me kicking your flank. Are we clear?!"

Twilight nodded, sputtering as Moondancer hand was removed from her mouth, "Ugh! Dancer why does your hand taste all salty?"

Missing her friends look of mortified embarrassment, Twilight continued, "Of course I'll be your wing mare, what kind of friend would I be otherwise. Now if you please, TELL ME WHERE IN THE BUCK OF ALL EQUESTRIA WE ARE!!!!!"

Moondancer smiled sheepishly, then flushed as a male voice echoed out into the snowy cold.

"Might I ask why you teleported into the Canterlot range?" The stallion's voice echoed through the glowing sigil that floated in the air, directly behind Moondancer.

Giving Moondancer a deadpan glare, Twilight responded to the communication Glyph, "We'll be returning in a moment, what is your business with me?"

"My name is High Arcane. I am an associate of Mis and Dis, they asked me to give the report that you requested."

"So of course they send you on a Tuesday. I already have to completely redo that equation, not to mention that Tuesday's are Spike's day off." Twilight snarked.

"Apologies Your Majesty, but the Manticores are pretty bad this year and Timberwolf mating season is starting in a week. Not to mention the preparations for Nightmare Night and the security arrangements that have to be finalised there. So my sister and Dis are going to be swamped till after Hearthwarming, when they take the first of their annual week long vacations."

"Huh, So in other words they are too busy during the week and I am too busy on Tuesday. They wouldn't be trying to send me a message, hmmmm?" Twilight Groused.

"I assure you I have no idea or knowledge of any such motivation or plan." Arcane's voice echoed through the Glyph.

Twilight smiled, "I bet you don't, but as I am now swamped I am asking my own representative to meet with you. Her name is Moondancer and she will be along shortly."

"Moondancer? The head librarian of the canterlot archives? If it would help I could provide a reference point to aide power consumption and triangulation. To quicken your arrival of course."

Twilight smirked even harder at her antisocial friend.

"He knows your name," Twilight mouthed, out loud she answered, "I take it you're familiar with High ritual magic?"

Moondancer blushed, but otherwise stayed silent. The young mare danced from hoof to hoof to stay warm as the cold began to creep in.

"Indeed Princess, it happens to be my special talent. It's how I knew your figuring was wrong." High answered, the glyph pulsing with his answers, "Alright I am ready on this end." He finished.

Smirking at Moondancer Twilight quietly whispered, "An Earth Pony Stallion well versed in High Ritual Magic and able to correct my arcane equations in his head eh? No wonder you want him," Twilight's face turned serious, "Just be careful, Dis and Mis represent the union of two of the most tainted families I have ever researched. Every member is a science project of magical disorders, all of which can cause odd appetites. So please, Moondancer be careful."

Twilight fell silent as the glyph before her changed, glowing letters shifted to give her the reference she needed for a safe teleport. As the shifting symbols ordered themselves Twilight charged her horn, when they came to a stop she released the energy. A blinding flash shot Moondancer and Her through time and space, till they found themselves standing once more in Twilight's study.

Moondancer shot forward, "Why don't we take this to the Library in 30 minutes," Looking down at her rumpled clothes she said, "It will give me time to prepare and gather myself."

High Arcane bowed low, "Of course Head Librarian, I am nothing if not reasonable," Lowering his voice he leaned in close to Moondancer, "Although if I were honest, having a half an hour to peruse the library here wouldn't be unwelcome either," winking his eye, he smiled conspiratorially.

Twilight deadpanned at the two, "I really hope Spike is still in the castle," She thought.

"SPIKE!" she called out.

A crash was heard, followed by the rapid stomping of clawed feet towards the room. Bursting inside, Spike answered Twilight's bellow.

"Yes Twilight what is it?" he asked, suspiciously out of breath.

Twilight's eyes narrowed, "Are you okay Spike?"

"Yeah, was just ending my work out and then I was gonna get ready to spend some time with the crusaders." Spike replied.

Twilight smiled, "Well played little dragon," she said internally, externally she said, "Sorry to interrupt your day off, but before you go can you show High Arcane here to my personal library. He and Moondancer have some business to discuss."

"Sure thing, Twi," Spike assured, "Alright Arcane, if you will follow me, I will show you where you need to be."

Arcane nodded to the little dragon and both left the girls.

Moondancer turned to Twilight, "Did Spike find a way to both outmaneuver all the other mane 6 interfering with his love life, while at the same time getting revenge by dating all three of the worst offenders sisters?"

Twilight smiled, it was a nasty predatory grin, Moondancer stepped back fear causing her legs to tremble.

"Well, I am the one that raised him. Who says The Prince and The Art Of War are inappropriate bedtime stories."