Author's Note

Okay, so this was a stupid little thing I wrote for a writing prompt that was ‘Stuck Inside’. Hope you enjoy and get some giggles. I am proud to say that this is exactly 690 words so like, nice 😎

Stuck Inside A Closet

Buck buck buck!

My heart pounds as I quietly rush into the closet, taking a breath and trying to calm down enough to close the door without a sound. My ears flick as I hear the loud and slurred conversation of my drunk roommate and his girlfriend, slowly getting louder as they stumble into his room.

Shit. Buck. Celestia dammit!

I wasn’t supposed to be in his room, butI needed a book I had lent him over six months ago. It kept ‘slipping his mind’ to find and return it to me so I decided to take matters into my own hooves but now... I was trapped in his closet.

I hold my hoof over my muzzle as I see their silhouettes in the doorway, cringing into the corner of my hiding place at the sound of sloppy ‘kissing’. Maybe face sucking would be a more accurate term?

Regardless, it was loud and it was gross. I mentally groaned.

I was really hoping they would be so drunk they would just pass out, but it seemed they were awake enough for drunken sex. All I could hope for now was that it wasn’t an infamous marathon session.

I risk a peek through the slats of the closet door, quickly shutting my eyes and retreating as I got an eyeful of parts of my roommate I never wanted to see.

They are on the bed...facing away from the closet...Lucky me...

“Ohh baby...I, I wanna do sho many, sho many thingsh to you.”

“Ahh yessss, jush take me! I’m alllll yooouurrrssh~”

I gag, my ears pinning flat against my head at her shrieks of ‘pleasure’. How he can stand to fuck a mare who sounds like a dying cat...I’ll never know.

I move my hooves from my mouth to my ears, silently rocking back and forth and trying to shut out the sounds mere hooves from me. The groaning of the wood bed frame, his deep grunts, the squeaks of bed springs, her high pitched squeals…

Breathe. In and - Oh Celestia not through the nose! Not through the nose!

I find myself wishing more than ever I was a pegasus or unicorn, so I may use my wings to cover my nose or a teleportation spell. But no, I was just an earth pony with two hooves and three things to cover.

I turn my head and try to breathe through my elbow, finding moderate success as the ‘creation of life’ continued.

Oh please be done soon and fall asleep. Please, for the love of all things holy and for the sake of my sanity…

I found myself wanting to hum, but any sound might risk revealing myself; even with the two of them, ahem, occupied and three sheets to the wind.

The noises increased in volume, the shrieks of the springs matching her squeals as the groaning of the wood matched his moans. It was almost poetic.

Too bad I ain’t much for poetry.

Finally, it seemed their coupling was dying down, murmured words and praises and ‘I love you’s replacing the lewd sounds. I slowly remove my hooves from my ears, straining for any sign of continuation from earlier.

And then, mercifully, snoring.

I force myself to wait and count to 50 in my head, heart pounding with anticipation of getting the buck out of here.

16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

I slowly push myself towards the door.

37, 38, 39, 40.

I place a hoof on the door and look out the slats, checking for movement.

47, 48, 49, 50.

I pushed the door open and it creaked quietly. I stop, glancing over, but it seems they are too deep in sleep to hear it.

I only open the door enough to slide out, tiptoeing my way to the door. I step through the doorway and breathe a sigh of relief before rushing to my room.

I head straight to my bathroom and turn the shower on, hot as I can stand it and take the longest shower of my life.

I suppose my copy of ‘Subs and Sandwiches’ will just be lost forever.