Mummy Issues

Twilight closed the book and set it aside. “I can’t finish this. It rubs me the wrong way—that a pony could be so callous.” She stood and walked to the edge of her balcony.

“At least they caught him,” said Spike.

Twilight’s wandering gaze caught Maud at the edge of town with a group of ponies unloading a large stone slab from a barge. “Over a decade after his scheme started! The author tried to warn regulators, but No One Would Listen!”

Spike flinched. “Twi?”

She turned and noticed her extended wings. “Sorry,” she mumbled, looking down as her ears folded back. “I’m going for a fly to clear my mind.”

She leapt from the balcony, spread her wings, and caught a thermal. Soaring around the castle, she lifted higher until the ponies looked like ants below. She straightened her flight and soared past the edge of ponyville. Closing her eyes, she let go her worries and duties, just enjoying the flight—the sun on her face; the wind whistling past her ears; the tension of stress being replaced with—

“Hey Twilight.”

She sighed. “Hi Dash.” She opened her eyes and looked over to her friend.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Just enjoying the bliss of solitude.”

“Awesome.”

They flew in silence. Below them, a construction crew was clearing a large section of undeveloped land. Whatever was going there would be big.

“Do you want to come to my brick party?” Dash blurted out.

Twilight blinked. “What?”

“My brick party. It’s Tuesday night. It would be cool if you came.”

Whatever it was, it would probably be a nice break from reading up on politics and current affairs. “Sure.”

“Thanks Twi. See you there—seven o’clock at Rarity’s. Bring a friend.” Dash banked away and disappeared into the clouds.

“Huh.” A frown crept onto her face, growing deeper as she flew on. She banked around and started descending rapidly towards Ponyville. The streets zoomed by below as she approached Sugarcube Corner. Tilting her wings, she shed speed and gained elevation in front of the bakery before landing gently. She strolled inside, setting off the bell above the door.

”Be right with you!” called Pinky from the back. The seats were already filling with diners for the lunch rush. Pinkie emerged with flour on her face and wearing an apron. ”Oh. Hiya Twilight. What can I do you for? The blueberry muffins are fresh out of the oven.”

”Actually, I just wanted to ask if you knew what was up with Rainbow's brick party.”

”Rainbow's having a party? Why wasn't I invited?” Her mane started to deflate as her smile reversed itself.

Twilight froze. She blinked. ”She said to bring a friend! Do you want to come with me, Pinky?” She tilted her head and smiled awkwardly.

Pinkie's mane floofed back up. ”Great! It's a date!”

“Sure,” said Twilight, turning to go. She spun back around before taking a step. “Wait, wh—”

Pinked leaned across the counter suddenly, planting her lips on Twilight’s for a kiss. She pulled back and smiled. “Pick me up at six-forty-five.” A buzzer sounded from the kitchen. ”I gotta finish this order for Dr Caballeron's construction crew. See you Tomorrow.” Pinkie pronked into the kitchen, leaving Twilight standing slack-jawed.

As she left, her wings banged against the doorframe. She folded them and stepped out, bumping into a stallion coming up the steps. “Sorry,” she said quietly, not looking back. A smile crept onto her face as she wandered the streets, staring into the distance.

“Twilight!” Minuette trotted alongside her. “Want to grab some lunch with me?”

Twilight turned and grabbed Minuette, looking into her eyes. “It’s a date!”

Minuette’s eyes widened as her heart beat faster and her ears perked up. “What?”

Twilight shook her head. “Wait, what?”

Minuette leaned in and kissed her cheek then pulled back, smiling, as Twilight dropped to a sitting position, staring at her. “Come on, it’s a date.” She pranced down the street, stopping to look back at Twilight a few yards on. “Coming?”

Twilight shook her head, blinking. “Wait!” she cried, trotting to catch up. “That’s not what I meant!”

◮ ◮ ◮ ◮ ◮

“No, I’m sorry,” said Minuette. “I should have noticed the Twilight stare and figured something was up.” She stuffed another hayfry into her mouth. She swallowed and reached a hoof across to touch Twilight. “Still, if it doesn’t work out, you know where to find me.”

Twilight shook her head and looked away, watching Ahuizotl stroll down the street in a tailored suit. “I just don’t know what to think. It seems rather sudden.”

“Lyra was telling me earlier that Pinkie’s sister just got married. Maybe that got her to thinking about starting a family of her own.”

“That’s”—Twilight cocked her head—“really insightful actually.”

Minuette rolled her eyes. “Don’t sound so surprised.”

“Sorry, I didn’t m—” Her head whipped around and she scanned the street. She turned back to Minuette. “Did you see a monkey dog thing wearing a suit walk by just a minute ago?”

“I—what?” Her face scrunched in confusion.

“I’ve gotta go!” Twilight teleported to the intersection and scanned the adjoining streets.

The waiter placed the check on the table as he walked by.

Minuette sighed and reached across the table to take Twilight’s abandoned milkshake.

◮ ◮ ◮ ◮ ◮

Rarity set the tray of sliced quince before the couple and sat down across from them, looking them over. “So how long has this been going on? It must be new or I would have noticed it before.”

Twilight answered as Pinkie’s head rubbed against her shoulder. “This is our first date, actually.” She stretched a wing around Pinkie, snugging her close.

Fluttershy came in through the front door. “Hi girls,” she said, approaching. Seeing Twilight and Pinkie, she stopped. Looking around at her friends, she moved slowly to take a seat. “Um.”

“Finally! We can get started.” Dash stood and passed out colorful catalogs with pictures of bricks: red bricks, blue bricks, big bricks, small bricks. One brick had a pharaoh’s face. One brick showed a carapace.

Fluttershy looked up from her catalog. “Is that quince?” She looked at the couple, then to Rarity. “Isn’t that served at—”

“Fluttershy!” said Rarity. “Look at page three! There’s a brick stamped with a butterfly pattern.”

She glanced down briefly, then turned her gaze back to Rarity. “Where did you even get quince around here? I don’t even know anyone who—”

“Bricks!" said Rainbow. "I invited you here for bricks, not to discuss fruit. Now, if you buy enough junk, my bonus is twenty percent bigger.”

“Darling, we talked about this. You don’t call the product junk in front—”

“Can I have my free brick now?”

Everypony turned to Black Flag.

“Sure, here you go.” Rainbow hoofed over a small brick.

“Awesome sauce.” She trotted to the door, turning back briefly before leaving. “See you from the end of a noose, bourgeoisie pigs!”

“Bye Flags!” called Rainbow as the door closed.

“Darling. Are you sure that was the best idea?”

“She’s not lame, Rarity. It’s not like she’s going to throw it at somepony.”

They winced at the sound of breaking glass. Black Flag’s muffled cry followed. “One, two, three, four; escalate the social war!”

“Hey, get back here!”

“Down with the mare!”

Dash looked around the room and shrugged. “Mistakes were made.”

Twilight held up the back of the catalog. “Hey, this looks like the mummy who crashed my support group.”

“Yes,” said Rarity. “Reshef. He runs the company.”

“Doesn’t that bother you? He’s an ancient abomination from beyond the grave!”

“Hey!” said Pinkie, pulling away from Twilight’s embrace. “Do you have something against ancient abominations?”

“Sorry Pinkie, I didn’t mean all ancient abominations. Just the ones exiled from their homelands for bankrupting their people.”

“Well,” said Rarity. “I invested a lot of money in the company and it’s already paying dividends.”

“Wait, so you know him?”

“Reshef? Not as such no. I invested through my regional rep: Ahuizotl. He’s in charge of Canterlot and Ponyville. All the way down to the Tenochtitlan Basin in fact.”

“Wait, what?” asked Rainbow.

“Do you have any financial statements from the company?”

“Why yes, darling. I have their prospectus right here. Thinking of investing yourself?”

“Something like that.”

“Guys, what’s this about Ahuizotl?”

Rarity retrieved some papers from a nearby folio and passed them to Twilight, who looked them over. “Mind if I keep these?”

“Why certainly.”

“Hello?! Rarity? Twilight?”

Ignoring Dash, Twilight continued. “Do you know how to get in touch with Reshef?”

“No, you’ll have to—”

“The pharaoh?” asked Pinkie. “Yeah! I know him. We go waaay back.”

Twilight tilted her head and stared at Pinkie. She blinked and shook her head. “You’re going to tell me about that. Later. Where can I find him?”

◮ ◮ ◮ ◮ ◮

Twilight sat across from the princesses in the private audience room. A spoon stirred the tea floating before her as the wait staff retreated. She sighed, looking away from the princesses.

Celestia shared a glance with her sister. Turning back to Twilight, she asked, “What happened after the party?”

“Pinkie led me to Reshef, and I confronted him. No way was I letting the regulators ignore him for a decade. He was mum at first. I unwrapped my case. The construction site, Ahuizotl, the brick parties, the financial records and dividends. He opened up like a tomb to Daring Do.” Twilight raised the tea, inhaling deeply.

“I do not understand,” said Luna, glancing between the others. “What did he confess to?” She cocked her head, brow furrowed, eyes wandering. “What case did you have?”

Twilight winced, grinning slightly. “Well. It may not have been as much of a case as it was a hunch and the threat of deportation.” She sipped her tea. “Long story short—”

Luna’s eyes widened with realization. "Nay! Do not say it.”

Celestia glared at her sister. ”Please, Twilight, finish.”

Twilight glanced between the sisters and sighed. Gazing into her tea, she stirred. ”Long story short—it was a pyramid scheme.”