Starlight's Secret Shame

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunburst, Maud Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Silverstream, Trixie, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 2477

After the events of 'Student Counsel', Sunburst discovers that Starlight's bracelet isn't just any old piece of temporarily enchanted jewellery. In fact, it's about to lead to a whole world of trouble..

After the events of 'Student Counsel', Sunburst discovers that Starlight's bracelet isn't just any old piece of temporarily enchanted jewellery. In fact, it's about to lead to a whole world of trouble....

Featured from 10/6/19 to 11/6/19

Published 2019-06-10 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-10 04:00:01 UTC

End Of The Line, Chump

"Well, I'm glad that's all been sorted." Trixie remarked in barely disguised relief, as she finally arrived back at her Spring Solstice party at Maud's house, along with a small entourage of equines and hippogriffs. "Remember everypony, and especially you Starlight: 'All Work And No Play Makes Applejack A Dull Mare'."

"Yet another one of your randomly coined phrases, Trix." Starlight grinned sheepishly, pretending to be impressed. "...And it's just as relatable as the other ones you invented, like 'Two's Company, Three Including Twilight Is A Crowd' and 'Princesses Of Friendship Should Be Seen And Not Heard.' At least you used a different pony this time around, other than your usual victim."

"How do you expect me to feel, Star? For as long as you've been employed as the school counsellor, Trixie has been left alone so often she's almost forgotten what her bestie looks like!" Trixie said defiantly, with her muzzle upturned in the air. "Just because me and your boss reached an understanding a while ago when you and I first met, it doesn't mean I have to like her! Besides, I'm sure even in your job, where you have to pretend to get on with everypony, you have a few irritating individuals you just wanna scream at sometimes."

"M-Maybe..." Starlight gulped, as images of a certain sadistically laughing draconequus permeated her innermost thoughts. "B-But that's not the point! The real lesson today, is that we all learned to delicately balance personal responsibilities with our leisure time. So while I still want to help every student I can, maybe a few less urgent things, like Yona's braids constantly coming undone and thinking up adjectives for homework essays can perhaps can be handled by somepony else."

"I'll keep a thesaurus with me wherever I go from now on!" Silverstream promised cheerfully, not so dense that she hadn't figured out the last sentence was aimed at her. "I'm just pleased we're all here together to celebrate the spring solstice, and even my brother and pet cockatrice Enid have joined us! Woo hoo! I'm so happy!"

"Uh huh. gobble" Unfortunately Terramar had already begun stuffing his face with all manner of delectables on offer there, and so couldn't really comment any further. Aside from Starlight and Trixie's rock-hard cake of course, a bakery confection so impossibly solid in depth that even Maud might be ready to declare it the new strongest non-mineral deposit on Equestria.

For now though, the mare in question was too busy schmoozing on the sidelines with Mudbriar. "Tell me again what it was like being a stone statue. I want to know every detail. Every. Detail."

"E-Erm, okay." Mudbriar paled, not quite sure how to cope with this uncharacteristic display of enthusiasm from his stoic marefriend. "Technically, I wasn't a statue, because nopony actually carved me from scratch. But anyway... I couldn't move. It was cold. I was even greyer than normal. Is that enough information for now?"

"Oh, baby." Even though Maud sounded about as enthused as a filly given extra detention on their birthday, this was the most emotion she'd expressed for anything ever. "Tell me more later, when we're alone. I'll have to put Boulder to bed early, because some things aren't meant for young ears. But if you can wait up for me..."

"Well, I was going to prune Twiggy tonight. The way her leaves are growing right now, she might just turn into a rainforest one of these days." Mudbriar blinked in thought, completely missing Maud's attempt at a somewhat seductive pose. "Yes, I do believe I can make the time. Just as long as you help me transport my dwarf conifers downstairs tomorrow, where the natural sunlight shining from the window should give them a much-needed boost of Vitamin D. Agreed?"

Maud was about to answer in either the negative or positive tense, but she was abruptly interrupted by Sunburst shambling over to the little group. Unlike the other partygoers, he hadn't been celebrating at all since arriving... not even one glass of fruit punch had passed his chapped lips. Instead, he'd been examining a certain circular object very closely, and now looked to provide his expert analysis of it.

"Starlight, you know that hoof bracelet you let me borrow to study, the one that alerted you whenever a student in need came to your door?" Sunburst inquired, whilst carefully turning around said artefact in his hooves. "I must say, it's got me stumped. I've never seen it's like before, anywhere. It's definitely not a normal piece of jewellery. Did you find it in some dragon's cave? A sunken ship? Borrow it from Twilight without asking...?"

"None of those things, silly!" Starlight chuckled mirthfully at her foalhood friend, as she helped herself to another scoop of vanilla ice cream. "I'm not surprised you don't know what is it at first glance, though. After all, you've never been in any trouble with the law, have you?"

"The law?!" Such were the dramatic implications of that last statement, everypony there stopped what they were doing immediately to stare at Starlight in shock, with poor old Terramar almost choking on his mouthful of food.

"Yes, 'the law', or 'police', as I think they're more commonly referred to." Starlight raised an amused eyebrow at observing what she regarded as completely over the top reactions from her friends. "They very kindly gave that to me as part of a secret deal we made, after a few... 'mishaps' and 'mistakes' in my past. But all that's water under the bridge now, so don't worry! Speaking of 'under the bridge', have you seen the new ducks Fluttershy's bred that hang around there? They're the cutest things! I might take them over some crumbs, the next time I make fairy cakes..."

For some reason though, everypony there didn't seem quite as relaxed as Starlight, and began whispering and gazing oddly at the unicorn in a way that made her feel distinctly uncomfortable.

Eventually, it was Sunburst who once more who stepped forward, and the expression on his face was a nervous one. "Starlight, there's something you're not telling me that I need to know right now. Tell me: what were the exact circumstances when you came across this 'bracelet'? And what else did the police say when they gave it to you?"

Starlight didn't exactly want to resurrect ancient history again (unless you meant the Pillars Of Old Equestria, because that story had a happy ending at least) but seeing as everypony there seemed unlikely to drop the subject until she spilled the beans...

"Okay, so technically it's maybe not a bracelet per say..." Starlight divulged reluctantly, unwittingly channeling Mudbriar whilst doing so. "I think they called it an 'Ankle Monitor', or something. I had to wear it as part of a 'Plea Bargain', or at least that's what Twilight called it. I don't know: I let her handle most of the finer details. But it all worked out so well in the end! I just said 'Guilty' in a room full of ponies, and this old stallion wearing a white wig and carrying a small hammer let me leave a few minutes later. All I had to do then was stay out of trouble, make amends to the community for my numerous misdeeds and wear the bracelet for a set amount of time."

"Starlight, listen to me very carefully." It was not like Sunburst to get this anxious, but right now his cloak was covered in sweat, as he approached his unicorn friend to hold her securely by the shoulders. "This is extremely important. How long did the stallion with the wig say you had to wear the ankle monitor for?"

"Oh, I can't remember exactly. Maybe it was three seconds, three minutes, months, years... who cares?" Starlight rolled her eyes at what she saw as unnecessary fretting for her predicament. "All I know is it was very constrictive on my hoof, and it's green colour totally clashed with my fur. So I removed it at the earliest opportunity, and put it into storage. It's only recently that I took it out again, and cast an enchantment on the stupid thing to make it useful! Can you believe, they initially told me I couldn't even leave Ponyville without having it on?! How unreasonable was that?! Still, whatever rules they might have set, I'm sure helping save the world from a changeling army and a baby blowing everything up has more than made up for my previous misdemeanours."

"S-Starlight, I might agree with you. But the law doesn't quite work that way." Sunburst said urgently, facehoofing himself a lot. "You should have listened to the judge's instructions in court, instead of thinking that everything was just going to work itself out. Didn't Twilight notice you hadn't been wearing your tag? Why didn't she warn you against removing it in the first place?"

"Hey, Twilight and me aren't joined at the hip! She didn't know about that part of the deal! Some things are for me to keep to myself, until I decide to share them!" Starlight said in a huff, frowning slightly. "That was a different time, when I was dismissive of everypony else on my stupid quest for 'equality'. Now I'm so much better: I use my skills for good, I have a reputable job at a fine school, I apologised to all the citizens at my former village... what are they gonna do, track me all the way down here from Manehattan just to arrest me? Because you think by taking it off again, I might have alerted..."

"That's her!! The one with the star/spiral on her butt! It doesn't matter that she's changed her manestyle, I'd recognise that smug look of pure evil anywhere!"

Starlight's optimistic predictions were suddenly thrown into sharp focus, as three policemares in full uniform came bustling into view, apparently out of nowhere. They began descending the rocky outcrops towards Maud's home, all the while stating in a clear yet firm terms what their presence there was for.

"Come quietly, Miss, We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way."

"Invalidating your parole is a very serious offence, especially for somepony who almost destroyed the world! We expect the judge to throw the book at you... and personally, I hope he does."

"Uh oh..." Starlight gulped, weighing up all the options in her head. Twilight might be able to put in a good word for her when she returned later on with the other girls, after all it always helps to have a Princess in your corner. But until then, did she really want to see the inside of a stinky cell covered in barely literate graffiti again?

No, she did not.

"T-Thanks-everypony-it's-been-great-seeing-you-all-but-I'm-afraid-I-must-dash-off-bye!" Starlight stammered quickly, intending to make herself scarce for now until this unfortunate 'misunderstanding' could be cleared up.

"Hey, get back here you! Don't make me use my plastic baton!" One of the officers warned, as the renegade unicorn galloped away without hesitation. Tough tactics indeed.

"If you can't do the time, don't do the crime!" Another officer shook her head in contempt, before joining her colleague to pursue their sprinting fugitive.

"Excuse moi, but Trixie has trademarked that saying! It should be 'If you can't make it on time, sneaking past Twilight ain't a crime'!" The aforementioned mare tutted, referencing the many occasions she'd encouraged Starlight to skip the alicorn's boring Friendship lessons to hang out at the spa with her instead.

"Hmm?" The last remaining officer there lowered her shades upon hearing the unicorn's off-the-cuff comment, before a visible frown appeared on her features. "Miss Trixie Lulamoon, I presume? We have a longstanding warrant for your arrest as well. Something to do with cheating a few small border towns out of their bits, by performing fake magical acts for profit? Gee, the amount of criminals we're catching today, I could be in line for a promotion next week. Talk about clearing the backlog! Perhaps I should hang around Ponyville more often... hey, where did she go?!"

For once, one of Trixie's notoriously inept disappearing acts had gone off without a hitch, for there was no sign of her anywhere in the blink of an eye. Maybe she was out on her own, or perhaps she'd decided to hole up with her bestie Starlight until this sorry mess was dealt with.

One thing was for sure though... apparently her otherwise successful 'Great And Powerful Apology Tour' hadn't quite succeeded in wiping her police records clean.

"Stay here you lot, we may need to ask you questions about harbouring known suspects later." The officer barked an order, before joining her colleagues to search for the elusive Starlight and her 'partner in crime'.

After a few moments, Terramar was the first to speak, having fully finished his beakful of edibles. "...Well, that was somewhat unexpected. You didn't tell me it was so exciting here, sis. If it's this much of a blast at the School Of Friendship every single day, maybe I should try enrolling myself here!"

"I-It isn't usually.." SIlverstream pondered whilst feeding titbits to Enid, trying to make sense out of everything she'd just heard. "I get why Trixie might be investigated for fake magic acts, Sunburst, but what was that I just heard about Miss Glimmer almost 'ending the world'? Is it a metaphor for something? I'm going to be learning those soon, after I've finished with adverbs of course."

"Gee, I sure hope she's going to be okay." Sunburst said to himself with worry, not really listening to anypony else. "I wonder if I could act as her lawyer, if she's captured before Twilight returns. Let me practice that right now: Objection! Sustained! I have a surprise witness!! ...Yes, after due consideration, I think I could pass the bar quite nicely."

"Why would you ever want to release her from prison? It sounds like paradise to me." Maud piped up unexpectedly in her atypical deadpan voice.

"How so?" Mudbriar was genuinely mystified why his marefriend would feel that way. "Just think: no bushes, trees or vegetation of any kind inside. It must be a total nightmare!"

"On the contrary: Solid stone mattress. Breaking rocks every single day. Discovering rare precious minerals, if they put me in an underground cell. Hey, you three... take me too! Boulder threw himself through a bank window on the way here and I was his willing accomplice, honest." Maud said unconvincingly but with sheer determination, as she speedily ran to catch the officers up.

Author's Note

Another one of my after episode specials. I don't think this would happen in canon in a million years, it was purely written for fun. I hope you enjoyed it in that spirit, and please comment below whatever you thought. :twistnerd: