Ask the Mane Mare.

by overlord-flinx

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 2176

Welcome to the show! Join us for humiliation, secrets, and whatever else gets me more money.

Ever feel like asking the pony-folk of Equestria your own personal questions? Me neither. But that's exactly what this story is. Here's your chance to ask if indeed that is your plans. Join the interview-talkshow with out host Twilight Sparkle as we question our chapterly guest. Today: Welcoming. Next time: Rainbow Dash.

If you want to ask a question, leave a comment or PM it to me. And if you don't, well just enjoy the fun.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-11 04:34:11 UTC

Welcome to the Show

Tap-tap went the small index cards shrouded in velvety purple energy against the low wooden podium before the single unicorn smiling on a stage. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention to the camera facing the entirety of the set. "Salutations viewing audience. I am Twilight Sparkle, loyal student and apprentice to Princess Celestia; and your hostess for this wonderful broadcast," reading from index card after index card, she shuffled them behind one another as she finished one off. "Due to a rash of fan-base reception to our day-to-day lives, we here at Equestria have decided to hold a little interview-talkshow for our wonderful viewing public," finally placing her index cards down she gestured a hoof to a large, red couch opposite of her. "Over there, we have our 'Couch of Honesty', whoever sits on the couch must tell the complete and honest truth to what you the viewer send in as a question. In the meantime, all the other ponies will sit out in the audience."

Twilight shuffled through her cards for a second before pulling one out with a shimmer of her horn. "Our first guest will be… Rainbow Dash! So, if you have any questions for our dear, loyal friend Rainbow Dash, don't hesitate to send it in. Who knows? Your question may just be used."

Just then, Spike came shuffling in, sporting a backwards hat and stopping short of Twilight. "Twilight! Did you tell them about the question stuff?"

"The what—Oh!" Twilight's eyes sparked as she recalled her exclusion. "Thank you for reminding me, Spike. That's right; you the viewer will also have the honor of picking out an inquirer for our guest pony. We've picked out four unique ponies to do the questions, so you only need to pick from those four. Well, that's it for now. I hope to see you all at the interview portion of the show when the pony you pick questions our dear Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah, uh... Hi," a little colt with a spotted face looked about, fairly unsure of his surroundings. "Due to, uh, complications. I've been hired to speak on second behalf of Lady Twilight. For those of you that don't know me, I'm Pipsqueak. Now, whut' I'm 'bout to do is tell you a few details that our host missed. Ready? Alright," the colt looked down at a little scrap of paper and started to read off of it. "'Just submit any question you want for our guest to answer.' I would guess we have some post box or something.

"'However, for the interest of EVERYONE please keep it in a "G"-"PG-13" reason.' Don't know what that means, but those of you at home probably do. 'You're all smart people, so you can tell what's pushing it and what's fine.' See? Even my script writer knows what it means. Then 'gain, script writer wrote the script, sooooo--- Moving on.

"'Anyway, let's point out our interviewee and possible interviewers.' Listening out there? This is the actually important stuff here.

"'Interviewee: Rainbow Dash.

"Possible Interviewer: Applejack, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Gilda.

"I leave the rest to you.' And... That's it," Pip snapped his head up and smiled as he brushed the paper away. "Simple I think. Anyway, got another internship to get to; won't get into details on that..." Pip mumbled to himself before smiling once more. "Anyway, this has been a rough test. You see, this show has been done once before on another broadcast. The script writer thought it was time to move, but because of some filming restrictions, he's gonna have to use the first interview clip. But don't worry, those of you watching now will get the every one after from there on. Until next time."

Interview: Rainbow Dash

The stage lights beamed down onto the set where Twilight, behind her podium, was now not alone as a sky blue pony with a rainbow mane lay in lax on the crimson couch across the set. "Welcome back viewing public," Twilight announced with a stomping audience and hooting chorus being her reply. "Today, we're joined by our resident cloud runner and all around loyalty incarnate—Rainbow Dash." Rainbow Dash quickly gave the cheering audience a waver of her front legs along with a confident smile. "It's great to have you on the show, Rainbow. How do you feel?"

"Pretty good. Pretty excited to see what my adoring fans have to ask me."

"I bet you are. But first let's see who it is that will be doing your interview questions. We asked the viewing world who they wanted out of a choice of four individuals. The results were actually… unexpected. As it turns out, we had a three way tie. And since we don't have the resources or even the stage room for three different interviewers, we've asked our own Overlord to submit his vote for the tie breaker. His vote?"

Just then, off to the side of the stage, a gray colt poked his head in with a dull look to his eyes. "Twilight…"

"Okay! Thank you Overlord. Let's hope he doesn't have to do another tie breaker though," Twilight joked the audience who elected a collection of small chuckles. "On that note. Rainbow Dash? Are you ready?"

"Whenever you're ready," Rainbow Dash shrugged coolly.

"Our first question comes from Name withheld: 'How you are being doing so far'?"

"Pretty good so far. What? Is that it?" Rainbow Dash scoffed.

"Not at all. Much like other submitters, he has multiple questions."

"Cool. Keep them coming then."

"'Is it true you like stallions or mares or both?'"

"Uhhh, I guess both? I don't really put any gender over the other."

"I don't think that's what it means Rainbow. But anyway. 'Since Gilda left Ponyville do you still have any feelings for her?'"

"I guess I do…" Rainbow Dash mumbled as she rubbed her foreleg impatiently. "Forgetting what a jerk she was to my friends, she was an old, close friend of mine. So that's not gonna change."

"Loyal even to those that don't deserve it…" Twilight rolled her eyes with a whisper under her breath before continuing. "'Do you still want Gilda?'"

"What? As a friend? Sure if she fixes her attitude."

"'Is it true that you read now making you a egghead?'"

"You know I do, Twilight."

"I know, I'm just reading the questions."

"Oh… well then I do read. But that doesn't make me an egghead!" Rainbow Dash protested.

"Of course not. I mean, I read and that doesn't make me an egghead, right?"

Rainbow Dash replied by giving Twilight an absent look and clearing her throat. "Uh, next question?"

"Oh, right. 'Are you responsible for the story Rainbow factory?'"

"Never heard of it. Any good?"

Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a nervous look as she laughed in kind. "I'll tell you about it later. 'Do you want to kiss Gilda?'"

"Next question…"

"'What is the real reason you got kicked out from flight school?' An interesting question, actually."

The rainbow maned mare sighed and settled herself into her couch. "Well, to tell you the truth, it was a complete accident. You see, I just did the Sonic Rainboom during the race to defend Fluttershy's honor. I was stoked! Except… I didn't know how to do it again. So I skipped classes, missed whole days of school, and events so I could keep practicing," striking a little embarrassed smile, she scratched the back of her head. "Guess I missed a little too much so the kicked me out."

"That explains a lot… well; at least you're the best flier now. Next question, 'Is your rainbow real or a dye job'?"

"How many questions does this pony have?"

"I'll just do the last one. 'Do you want to marry Gilda and have colts and fillies with her?'"

Starting to get irritated, Rainbow Dash shot Twilight a sharp look. "Is there anyone else with questions?"

"Yeah. A lot actually."

"Can we move onto one of them?"

"Sure. Why not? Our next question comes from Name withheld: 'Were you and Fluttershy friends before you came to Ponyville?'"

Softening her expression and unwinding herself a little into the soft of the couch, Rainbow Dash thought. "I guess you could say that. We talked a few times, had a few laughs –mostly me-, and I helped her out a few times. So, yeah, I guess you could say we were friends before Ponyville."

"Our next questions come from Name withheld: 'Are you a filly-fooler, whatever that is?"

"If you don't know what it is, how am I supposed to know?"

"Good point… I guess. 'What are rainbows made of?'"

"Pegasi secret, kid."

"Darn, I was looking foreword to hearing honestly. 'Is Scootaloo a chicken?'"

"No? Does she look like one?"

"'What do you REALLY know about Fluttershy, seeing as she's one of your oldest friends?'"

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to answer but hesitated for a moment as she tapped a hoof to her chin. "Hard to say… You watch our show, so you've gotta know a thing or two too. But, what I gotta say about Fluttershy is that she's an awesome friend. We've got that whole ying-yang thing going on. What's that thing you were talking about Twilight? Equi-something."

"Equilibrium." Twilight pointed out with a joyous tone.

"Yeah, that's the stuff. We're equilibrium," she repeated with a proud smile.

"I've got to agree with that Rainbow. Next question comes in from Name withheld: 'Rainbow Dash, aren't you worried that your overconfidence and cockyness will lead you to your own death? Because it's already happened to many of those who have more skill than you could ever hope to have.'" Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash gave an absent blink before Twilight gave a nervous laugh. "Umm… Wow. That's, uh…"

"Harsh?"

"That's a good word for it. But what's your answer anyway?"

"Simple. I'm the best there is. And you shouldn't worry about me Samura. I'm got skill to spare. Do you have any skill?" Rainbow Dash quipped to the audience with a sharp smile.

"Rainbow. No insulting the interviewers," Twilight warned her Pegasus friend.

"He started it…" going to a pout, Rainbow Dash awaited her next question.

"Let's move onto a more lighthearted question. This one is from Name withheld: 'Have you ever fought a rap battle?'"

"Sure I have. Where I come from, they call me Dash-a-rhymes."

"They do?" Twilight asked with a growing interest.

"Yeah, sure… Just don't ask Fluttershy…" Rainbow Dash replied with a low mumble.

"We have time for two more interviewers. Our next is Name withheld: 'Genetically speaking, how did you end up with a rainbow-colored mane?' Fascinating. I've always wondered myself."

"Some ponies have pink manes, some have purple, and in Twilight's case you get some kind of mix of both. So how is it weird that I have a rainbow mane? Let's just go with I was dropped in a rainbow making machine and leave it at that."

"It's your answer, so say whatever you want. He goes on to ask, 'Why did you make fast friends with Twilight Sparkle, but completely ignored Spike's existence when you first met them?' Another valid question indeed."

"I never met a dragon before. I'm not like Fluttershy, so I'm not all that interested in talking to anything other then a pony… at least that's what I used to think. When Spike and I started talking, I found out he's pretty alright. Guess you can't judge a mare by its mane or something like that."

"What a fantastic metaphor, Rainbow. This is our final question. It comes from Name withheld: 'How did you become friends with Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie before you met Twilight and Spike?'"

"I met AJ at my first Running of the Leaves. We kept neck and neck the entire way," sighing in remembrance, she continued on, "Rarity I met when Fluttershy was looking for new animals. She was searching through some dirt and stones for gems or something. Then Pinkie Pie? Hah! Now that's a story…"

"A story for another time I'm afraid," Twilight cut in with a saddened voice. "Your time in the chair is up Rainbow Dash."

"Really? Cool…" giving a light shrug, Rainbow Dash flew up away from the couch and disappeared backstage.

"Even so, if the audience and viewers want, we can invite her once more after a few other mares and colts get their turn. But until then, we have another guest to introduce. I expect you all to join us as we invite our next guest: Fluttershy."

"Alright," Pip entered into the backstage, this time sporting a headset, "That was a quick trial run. Hope you enjoyed, I say that 'cause I'm gettin' school credit for this. Anywho, let's move on," he looked down to a new piece of paper before him and started to read off from it, "'Interviewee- Fluttershy.'

"Possible Interviewer- Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Gilda, Cutie Mark Crusaders.' This time you can submit your votes and questions. Alright? Hope you all have fun."