Pinkie's Cult

by Secrets and Lies

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 6163

Pinkie awakens to find that she is the new leader of a cult based around her.

Pinkie awakens to find that she is the new leader of a cult based around her. How will she cope with the change of being a messiah? What will become of the Element of Laughter?

Published 2012-08-11 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-11 21:24:01 UTC

The Experience

Celestia’s sun rose above the pristine mountain ranges over Equestria’s corners. Hues of pinks, yellows and magentas intertwining with a cerulean sky above bathed the heavens in the warmth of dawn. Towering cumulous clouds rolled like ocean waves above the purple coated mountains. The stars faded into the coming sapphire firmament as the greatest star of all overtook the Eastern horizon. Light scattered through the valleys below and flooded the streets of the still nestled and asleep Ponyville. The sun’s luster sparkled and glared off of the fountains, puddles and ponds in the parks and streets. A heavy rain had washed the village the previous night, but the blaring sun’s rays and the coming winds from the high mountain peaks cascaded the sleepy settlement. The cool zephyr roamed the town and pushed the night air away, carrying the aromas of wildflowers from distant hilltops. The mounts that nestled Ponyville were filled with these wild plants; goldenrods, roses, sages, violets, daisies, daffodils and the like. These knolls and valleys could not hide from the coming morning which so beautifully blessed the equine country.

A prominent local eatery and bakery, which was nestled cozily on a high-priced property in Ponyville, slept Sugarcube Corner. The old store had seen its fair share of faces and customers over the years. Even though it had been through a few remodeling and renovations, through thick and thin it has stood as a challenge to time itself. Passed down through the Cake family, each new generation has faced its own adversary and each has made it out somehow. Either by fire, burglary, bankruptcy or catastrophe, the old sentinel of Ponyville found a way to mend its wounds. If the building’s walls could ever talk, I possibly could have written an entirely new story all together. Though this is not a story about the old bakery and its previous or now owners, it is a tale of its latest combatant of the norm. The one the locals call, ‘Pinkie Pie’.

Looks can be deceiving when judging a pony by its color, size, shape or race. Though one could believe Pinkie Pie’s outer look would most likely relate to partying and the sort; and if one outsider to the village were to judge her by that and guess that she was indeed the partying-hyper type, then they would be correct in a sense. The denizens of Ponyville knew her well, and she, with her photographic memory, knew them probably much better. Any citizen would tell you that she was the smiling and shining example that every pony should follow by. The pink mare was an optimistic equine and a spontaneous, ticking time bomb of love and affection that she would express towards anyone instantly in the blast radius that would usually take years of friendship and trust to build between regular friends. Sure, she wasn’t perfect and obviously had her flaws, but each flaw was concealed by her multiple talents. Was it a flaw itself that she would hide her true feelings from friends and the like sometimes? Some might say yes, but in a universal perspective, it’s truly every pony’s blemish at some point in time.

Though why am I telling you this? You already know the pink, party pony yourself. You know her likes and dislikes. You've memorized all of her songs and smile every time you see that glowing, brimming beam of a smile she blesses you with. You may know her history, the countless times she has saved Ponyville, her many adventures with the Elements of Harmony, to her silly side acts and to her fourth wall breaking. However, allow me to tell you this, despite of what I have said. Though you may think you have seen, heard or read everything, there are something's I am sure of you didn’t know. This beautiful day happens to be one of those occasions where you learn something new about the Element of Laughter you didn’t know ever occurred. And I, being the compassionate author I am, will enlighten you if you desire to be enlightened. So close your eyes, (not now of course, you silly filly, but later), take a breath, clear your mind of worries and nasty thoughts, open your eyes, and read the tale I’m about to tell to you. You beautiful person.

High in Sugarcube Corner, on the second story of the sleeping structure, awoke the pink pony as the beams of morning light washed over her bed and onto her face. The warmth of the blankets consumed Pinkie as she tried to fight its loving and tantalizing grasp. However, she was born a morning pony and could easily fight the trap she had slept in. She sprung out of bed as if the cot had an ejector button. The vigor of youth pumped through her veins as the cogs in her mental mechanism known as, 'hyperactivity' began to turn faster and faster. Her deep pink mane and tail, both in tangles with knots and locks jiggled with each movement from her body below. With each bounce and bound she made to the nearby bathroom, her hair untangled itself and poofed into the renowned style we know it as by memory. The gift of curly hair is a remarkable thing for those who possess it naturally and know how it functions. I, for one, know of its blessings.

As the pink pony hopped in front of the mirror, she looked upon herself and yawned into her reflection, making her yawn twice. She reached a hoof into her curls and yanked out a brush with the same color as her mane. She tangled one curl on the top of her head we would have never expected to see need fixing and peered upon her reflection once more. She was the only one to notice the difference and hummed with satisfaction as she tucked the comb back into her mass of pink hair.

Without looking, she reached over on both sides of her and pulled open two drawers on either side. With one hoof she grabbed a blue and white dotted toothbrush, and with the other hoof secured a tube of candy cane flavored and patterned toothpaste. She brought her hooves together and squeezed out a glob of paste onto the bristles to begin her morning brushing. She was secretly fond of hygiene to a degree. She liked smelling like her favorite treats and scents. From the nightly showers where she used her favorite cotton candy conditioner, to her favorite stick of white chocolate scented deodorant. She liked smelling nice and covertly hoped to meet a nice colt who shared her liking. She thought that if she continued to do this, that one day she would meet a pony who noticed her liking by her smells and would court her. She wanted a colt who would notice the fine and almost subliminally messages she strove for, because if he could notice the little things, she would give him everything. This and other features confirmed Pinkie’s intelligence and showed the true labyrinth that is her mind. A maze not only filled with complexity, but wit and beauty as well. Though she may not have book smarts, she is definitely one of the brightest ponies in Equestria, whether she applied her astuteness or not. It was her choice to show it and she only did when the times were necessary.

She had a long list of errands to run that day that she went through in her head as the pony bounced down the stairs. The morning was still early and hardly anyone she thought of wasn't awake by now. Not many ponies in the small village were morning ponies, though she was an exception to the standard native of Ponyville. Treats and sweets were already filling the nostrils of Pinkie as she took in a long whiff of the bakery’s fragrance. The walls of Sugarcube Corner were almost tainted from the years of baking baked goods. Even when nothing was cooking or waiting out, you could smell a faint sweet odor near the interior walls of the house. Desserts, coffee beans, cakes, treats, candies and yummy sorts had already been prepared by Mrs. Cake. She too was another exception to the denizens of Ponyville when it came to being a morning or late night pony.

As Pinkie was stuffing her saddlebag with wrapped up pastries for early morning deliveries, she took note that she didn’t spot Mrs. Cake anywhere. She usually saw her in the morning and gave her a great big morning hug, but she was nowhere to be seen. Pinkie played it off and thought that maybe she was either back in bed, outside for some reason, or using the little filly’s room. The pony had no reason to worry as she packed the remaining vanilla-chocolate swirl cupcakes into her saddlebag and buttoned it up. She cantered out of the kitchen with a lively prance to her gait. Her happiness was gushing publicly as her smile could not be diminished. She had woken up to another perfect morning and her mood couldn't be untarnished as she made her way to the front door. Sugarcube Corner was still locked up and was an hour away from opening. She thought that hopefully by the time she gets back, she’ll have some extra time to have herself a breakfast before the morning crowd rushes in.

She unlocked the front door and pushed it open. The rushing cool breeze swept by and through her mane, carrying away the remaining sleep in her eyes. Something didn’t seem right though. Something Pinkie didn’t seem to pick up on until she actually took in her surroundings. She hadn’t even stepped off of the front stoop of the house before realizing something was off. Instead of the regular quiet and empty streets of Ponyville spread out in front of her, she seemed to notice something a tad off about her cozy environment she didn’t take too much notice in until now. Suddenly it hit her like a runaway cart filled with anvils, she wasn’t alone. Spread out before her in plain sight was a mass of creatures before her. Ponies, griffins, minotaurs, zebras, camels, deer, llamas, alpacas, penguins and more Pinkie had never seen before. They all seemed to be watching her, locked in on her presence, as if they were transfixed upon their soul mate from afar; their eyes unwavering and their bodies near surmounting to excitement. They filled the streets; every spot of ground was covered by another species or pony. Some had even climbed on roofs to get a view of the pink pony. Out of all of them, Pinkie couldn’t spot one she recognized, even though she knew everyone in Ponyville. She thought that maybe the reason why she didn’t see anyone she knew was because they were all still trapped inside their houses from the massive crowds.

She didn’t know what to say. She was intimidated, frightened, and curious as to what was going on and why they were all looking at her. Pinkie couldn’t speak, her tongue seemed swollen to her, yet even if she wanted to talk, she didn’t know what to say. For once in Pinkie Pie’s life, she didn’t want to know who these creatures were and didn't want to be friends with them. Instead, she wanted to run, though she didn’t know where to run to. So she stood there, dumbfounded in front of an audience well beyond the size of Ponyville’s population. Speechless and as still as a statue, she held her ground for reasons she couldn’t explain to you today.

In a sudden and synchronized burst from the multitude, they shouted harmoniously, “Hail, Pinkie Pie!” Surely the crowd’s shout awoke everyone in Ponyville along with the sleeping creatures in the Everfree Forest. The bellow scared Pinkie Pie as she let out a gasp in shock. She took a step back and sat on her flank. The quantities followed her in example and sat down as well. It took a few seconds, but all of the creatures did so accordingly to their reluctant leader. An eerie silence fell over the crowd, not even the bakery was this silent during the darkest of nights. Only the wind whistling through the alleyways and the trees afar could be heard.

Pinkie felt a recognizable sense overwhelm her and looked down to see her tail twitching and vibrating spastically, meaning that something was about to fall. Another thunderous shout caught Pinkie off guard from the crowd.

They all simultaneously covered their heads in matching umbrella hats, similar to the one Pinkie owned herself and yelled, “Twitchy tail! Twitchy tail!”

Silence fell back over the streets as a sea of rainbow umbrella hats blocked the faces of every sitting individual except Pinkie herself. She was still awestruck from the crowd in a jumble of confusion and amazement. Suddenly, a wooden, toy block was thrown out of the window by one of the Cake twins which landed on Pinkie’s head, bouncing off of her springy mane and onto the grass next to her. Pinkie was unfazed by the block hitting her, her eyes remained on the crowd of creatures in front of her still. The multitude saw this and once again in unison removed their umbrella hats and placed them away.

Pinkie finally choked up the courage to speak and stammered aloud, “G-good ma-morning, everypony.”

“Good morning, Pinkie Pie! Element of Laughter! All hail the Pink one! Hail, Pinkie Pie, the most high!”

The figurative frog lodged itself back into Pinkie’s throat and she could no longer produce another word at the moment. An ocean of eyes looked over Pinkie’s body, staring with smiles that made even the party pony nervous. A sudden split in the crowd widened and a colt she had never seen before made himself known. He was a skinny, charcoal earth pony with emerald eyes and wavy, black hair. His hair was slicked back with gel and his teeth were as white as Winter’s first snowfall. His tail was curled and twisted like his smile, though his smile was more of a nervous smile than everyone else’s eldritch grins. As he approached, he became taller than Pinkie had realized. His long legs and slender body was not all skin and bone, just gangly in appearance. He wore a nice dress shirt and suspenders, and his black hooves gave a prolong clop with every step towards her. Pinkie didn’t move as he finally approached her at a friendly distance. Both could tell that they were equally nervous.

He stopped in front of her; Pinkie’s eye contact was now on the tall stallion in front of her. He had a musk to him that smelled similar to an old cedar cabinet she once shared with her sisters on the Rock Farm long ago. It wasn’t particularly a bad smell or a good smell. It was strange, yet alluring. She zoned back in to realize he had taken a step closer.

He spoke softly, “Ah, Pinkie Pie. At least we meet!” He turned swiftly back towards the silent multitude and proclaimed, “My brothers! We have found her! She is the Pinkamena Diane Pie!”

Roars of cheer and shouting flooded the small town in celebration for finding Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was at a total lost as she raised a hoof in question towards the sharp dressed stallion.

“What’s going on?” the pink mare asked. The colt turned back towards Pinkie once again. He gave a look as if he had forgotten something and reached out his hoof to shake Pinkie’s. Though when she obliged his gesture, the colt bent down on one knee and kissed the top of the hoof she reached out gently. Pinkie blushed and froze still, not knowing what to do as he kissed the top of her hoof two more times.

He stood back up and pardoned, “How rude of me-, I mean, us, to not even tell you who we are. My name is Brother Steedson, and these-” He waved a hoof over the crowd in front of the two and restated, “these, are your humble followers!”

The crowds burst forth an immense roar while sticking one arm in the air and cheering Pinkie’s name over and over again.

“My followers!?” she said with concern.

“Indeed!” Steedson encouraged while the crowd quieted down. “We have heard of your feats of wonder and awe. The miracles you perform and the powers you possess, such as the, ‘Pinkie Sense’. Your name travels quickly throughout the lands and others have begun to follow in your hoof steps. I was the first to organize others to find you and learn from your ways. Only a month after I created my organization, word of your wonders spread throughout and creatures from every corner of Equestria came to hear me speak of what I have heard and learned about you.”

“Wait, I’m confused.” Pinkie interrupted. Brother Steedson smiled. He then stretched his arm around Pinkie and pulled her closer in front of her audience.

“From hearing about you saving Ponyville from a parasprite epidemic to stopping Discord’s reign of terror, we have heard it all! So we made an exodus to find you here. And now that we have found you, we would like to learn how to live a lifestyle based around your own, so that we may live harmoniously and happy. Government strife and false religions teaching us that one way is better than the other is not the obvious way to true happiness, of course. So that is why we have come to you! Teach us, my lord! Teach us your ways!”

Pinkie’s confusion turned to delight. She hopped out of the colt’s arm and replied, “All you have to do is smile, you silly ducky!”

“Oh, we know that! But teach us!”

Pinkie tilted her head, puzzled again. “What do you mean? Just smile! Smiling is the best way to go throughout life!”

A voice from the multitude shouted out, “Show us a sign, my lord!”

Steedson approved, “Yes, my sovereign, show your faithful brothers and sisters a miracle!”

“But... I was just telling you how I live?”

Brother Steedson clasped his hooves together and said, “Oh I know, I know. But your followers would like to see a miracle first, then teach us! It is not my word alone, but the word of the people!”

Pinkie became a little irritated at how demanding the crowd was and seethed, “Well I can’t! I have to be 'in the moment’ to do one. I just can’t ‘do them’ all willy-nilly and such!”

“Wha-what!?” stammered Steedson. Murmurs flowed through the crowd, the faith the followers brought with them began diminishing as more and more were losing their trust that she was the Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie spotted something happening in the crowd. Something was pushing through it and making its way towards the front of Sugarcube Corner. It became clear that it was Twilight Sparkle, worming her way through the strangers to Ponyville. With one last heave, she pushed her way to the front. Steedson slid in front of Pinkie Pie in a defensive position.

“Halt! You shall not harm our lord and savior!”

Pinkie climbed on top of Brother Steedson’s head, waved at Twilight and yelled, “High, best-est buddy!” Steedson moved out of the way so the two could talk, knowing now that the purple unicorn was no harm to his lord.

“Pinkie!” Twilight demanded. Pinkie’s joyous expression turned to fright at the sudden outburst. “What did you do this time!”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything! These people just showed up out of the blue.”

“Oh really? Like I’m going to believe that!” She pivoted towards Steedson and placed a hoof on his chest. The unicorn questioned, “What’s going on here?”

“Ah, you must be the Twilight Sparkle. Oh yes, we know of you as well. The first great faithful follower of Pinkie Pie, it’s a delight to meet you too.”

“Follower!? Oh please, do you even know Pinkie Pie? Do you know what kind of mischief she gets us in?”

Pinkie Pie shot back in front of Twilight and said, “Hey! What are you saying!”

“I’m saying your, 'followers’ are blind and will believe anything!”

The Pink pony became more aggressive, taking what Twilight said as an insult. She got closer to the unicorn’s face and stated, “I wasn’t the one who wanted followers, and I have done some good things... like saving Ponyville from those parasprites!”

“You only made them worse! You sent them to Fillydelphia where they devoured two-thirds of all the corps in Equestria!”

Pinkie fired back, “I made a truce between the buffaloes and the ponies in Appleloosa!”

“In the process of destroying more than half of the town and bankrupting it in the long run!”

“I reunited the Griffon Kingdoms!”

“You toppled the new government and threw the newly appointed king into a giant industrial blender!”

Pinkie raised her head with pride and proclaimed, “The people had spoken: ‘Viva la Revolución!’”

Twilight stamped her hoof and spat, “And on top of all this, you almost started an apocalypse!”

“I said I was sorry.” Twilight placed a hoof on her face and let out a deep sigh.

Pinkie continued, “I really haven’t done a lot of harm... you... purple...”

“Well I thi- wait. Did you just call me ‘purple’?”

Pinkie hesitated, then swiftly replied, “No!”

“Yes you did... Do you even know my name!?”

Pinkie smiled with confidence and replied, “Of course I do.”

“Then what’s my name, Pinkie?”

“Uhh... give me a sec-”

“My name is Tw-”

“NO NO! Don’t tell me... cause I know it. It’s... Twinkie!”

“It’s Twilight.”

“...wha-”

“Twilight Sparkle. My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

Pinkie blinked in confusion. Twilight looked at her as if she was an idiot. The pink pony smiled and replied, “Oh, I knew that!"

“I can’t believe this!” Twilight fumed. “We’ve known each other for two years!"

"And what an impression you've made."

"How can you remember everyone’s name and birthday in Ponyville except mine?”

“We gee-whiz, Purple, keep your shirt on. No wonder why you don’t have any friends.”

“Pinkie...” Twilight snarled, “I’m not wearing a shirt.”

“Well don’t get your panties in a bun-”

“PINKIE!”

Brother Steedson stepped in between the two conflicting mares to break up the argument.

“Ladies, ladies. Please calm down.” Twilight pushed away from the two and made her way back to her library.

She shouted out, “Well you can have your little, 'cult’, but don’t come crying to me when things get out of hoof!”

Pinkie raged back, “I don’t need you, or your BOOKS!”

Steedson and Pinkie’s followers watched their leader’s eye burn like embers towards the unicorn walking away. Brother Steedson loosened his collar and reached his arm around Pinkie again.

“Come, Pinkie. Let us show you what we have made for you.”

“Yeah...” Pinkie's mood changed as she held her head high. “Let’s go, guys. I have all the friends I need right here!”

The gathering cheered as they encircled Brother Steedson and Pinkie Pie. They moved together as one, away from Ponyville and far away, beyond lands Pinkie had never traveled to or heard of.

*****

Only a day had past and the multitude had traversed far beyond Equestria. They were quick on their hooves as they took their lord and savior to the place of her worship. Between two large green mountain ranges lied a valley of greenery. As pristine and beautiful as it was, Pinkie spotted that in the center of this refined haven was an ivory temple shimmering beyond. It could be seen afar and as her followers took her closer, it became more and more massive. It was a rectangular structure with high walls and massive windows. The siding was white and shining as if made from pearl and at each edge of the building were high, pointed steeples. Expert craftsmanship adorned the outer walls, depicting heroic battles and events in Pinkie’s life they had heard about. The overarching gateway of an entrance was bolted tightly by golden inlaid bolts and metal straps. The entrance could easily fit Sugarcube Corner through it, it was so massive in size and width. Atop of all this, the center piece of the entire church was at the very top of the temple. At the pinnacle of the shrine was a fifty foot stone carving of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie herself was beyond amazed at this monumental achievement all for her sake. She was even more awestruck by the fact that they had built this all in a month.

The great doors of the church opened slowly as the crowds approached with their messiah. The doors, made of thick rugged metal creaked slowly open by a force of ten earth ponies pushing each door. This church was built more like a fortress than anything, with an entrance that could keep out an army of ten-thousand. Comparing this to the Canterlot Castle was like comparing Ponyville to Manehattan; it not only stooped Canterlot Castle, but put it to shame.

Inside, the ceiling seemed to stretch on for a mile at Pinkie’s point of view. As Brother Steedson led the pink savior down the red rug aisle, a mass of creatures were already awaiting her arrival. Wooden pews stretching on both sides were crammed full of faithful followers, Pinkie didn’t know how the ponies that led her here were even going to get inside being as full as it is already.

Humming and chants began to fill the well-lit sanctuary in a tongue Pinkie at first thought she didn’t know. However, after closer inspection, she could make out the words, 'Kumquat Pickle barrel’.

Her attention was brought back to the front of the church where a large, pink crystal podium sat. It shimmered in a surreal aura gave off by the massive stain glass windows which flooded in hues of light over the entire floor of the building. Brother Steedson led Pinkie Pie up on to the podium and gently trotted back down, taking a seat at the front of the temple. As Pinkie stood emotionless and confused as ever in front of her legion of followers, they slowly began to silence themselves. After the longest ten seconds of Pinkie’s life, the crowds hushed and silence fell through the massive chamber.

Not a whisper was spoken, not a cough could be heard, the only sound Pinkie could hear was her heart on the verge of leaping out of her chest. She swallowed and wiped the sweat from her brow as she scanned the room. Once again, not a single soul she saw she knew. She swallowed again and took a long blink; thinking if this was a dream, then she could wake herself up now. Though no matter what she thought, she was still standing in front of thousands of creatures, eagerly awaiting a word from their lord.

As she thought of what to say, she scratched her flank to get rid of an irritating itch that came from the fear she was enduring. Her heart skipped a beat when the thousands simultaneously, 'Oooooooo-ed’ at her action as if she performed a miracle. She stopped scratching herself and placed her hoof back on the podium. The crowds were silenced again, their eyes locked in on the pink party pony. She flared her nostrils while snorting back a runny snout. The thousands harmoniously, ‘Ahhhhh-ed’ at her as if what she was doing was significant in some way. Her eyes widened in greater fear as her mind stopped. All thought halted as what she was going to say slipped out of her mind as fast as it came in.

Brother Steedson shot up from his seat and asked Pinkie, “My lord! Would you kindly sing us a song? We have heard from tales of many that you think up random and catchy melodies all the time, followed by music which comes from nowhere at all!”

Pinkie quivered, “L-like my Pinkie Sense and-”. She raised both her hooves and quoted, “'powers’. I have to be in the moment, I can’t control them most the time, or at least without my knowing.”

A large earth colt hopped from his seat, stuck his hoof up and yelled, “Bless my hooves, my lord!” The crowds clamored and yelled out to Pinkie to save them and heal them from trivial matters. She didn’t know what to do as she took a few steps back away from the unsettling thousands.

“Hey,” Pinkie tried to yell out, “stop it! Calm down, you guys! Please!” Her followers weren’t listening as the commotion grew louder. In a sudden, estrogen influenced moment, something snapped inside of her brain and she screamed out at the top of her lungs, “SHUT UP!” Her voice reached the far corners of the sanctuary as the crowds silenced almost immediately. Brother Steedson stepped back in fright at how quickly Pinkie’s mood changed as she stood their glaring at the audience. Her face was reddened as she huffed in and out to try and calm herself down. She bent her head back some and took in a long sigh, closing her eyes and thinking about what to do and tell them. She opened them moments later to see the crowd patiently sitting and watching what she would do or say next. She stepped back up to the podium and cleared her throat.

Pinkie began to preach, “In each of us lies the power to our own choice. To feel happy or to feel sad, to be rich or to be poor, to be a good pony or a bad pony. It is we who control these and not another.”

“Easy for you to say... my lord.” said an unknown voice from the multitude. She glanced over to see who it was, but could not spot them. She then thought up a parable rather quickly and began to improvise a story.

She articulated, “Once upon a time in a big, super-duper huge river lived all these sea ponies! The river had a really fast current and if you didn’t hold on too tightly, you would be swept away, never to be heard from again! All the sea ponies clung onto the rocks at the bottom of the river, the happy ponies, sad ponies, fat ponies, skinny ponies, everypony held on. They did this all their life because they wanted to live and were happy and safe in their comfort zones. This is what they were told to do when they were just iddy-bittie ponies!

One day, one sea pony said, ‘I’m tired of clinging and living my life here. It’s soooooo boring clinging onto these rocks all the time and I believe the river knows where it will take me and there is more out there to see than just this!’ The other mean old ponies laughed at him and yelled out, ‘Fool! You’ll die if you let go, you’ll be smashed against the rocks!’ But the sea pony didn’t listen to those grumpy britches and let go! And you know what happened next!”

The crowds were all silent, daring not to speak, so Pinkie continued, “He got smashed all over the rocks by the current... but he did not die! The current of the river lifted the pony up and down the stream. Other sea pony strangers down the stream saw him flying down the river bend and cried out, ‘It’s a miracle! He’s just like us and he flies! A messiah has come to rescue us all!’ And the sea pony carried by the current said, “I am no more of a messiah than you are. The river wants to help you all, you just have to believe in yourself! Let go! You were not made to live a life like this, life is an adventure, so don’t be a silly goose and stay here, let go and join me!’ But the sea ponies below still feared of letting go and cried out more, ‘Savior!‘ But when they looked up... guess what!?”

The crowd was still silent as they waited for Pinkie’s answer. She huffed in annoyance, wanting a participating crowd to answer for her for once.

She sighed and continued, “Well, he was gone! The sea ponies below didn’t know where he had drifted off to. So instead of joining the sea pony, they made legends of him instead and worshiped him... The end!”

The crowd was brushed over in silence which made Pinkie think that maybe she had forgotten something.

She giggled and remembered, “Oh yeah, silly me, I forgot the moral! Well, the moral is to follow only yourself and your own ideas. Cause you’re the boss of yourself, you know? So, go and do that.”

She smiled at the crowd as they shook their heads in agreement. Whispering flowed through the crowd, things Pinkie couldn’t hear.

Then one spoke up again from the followers, “Show us a miracle, my lord!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened as she beckoned, “No, wait! Don’t you get what I said? And besides, I told you I have to be in the moment!”

The crowds stood up and Brother Steedson shouted, “Are you really Pinkie Pie? Or an impostor!?”

“I’m no impostor-er pony! I’m the real Pinkie Pie! See?” She grabbed her poofy, pink hair and let it go, showing that it was connected to her head as it sprung back and forth.

The multitude’s expressions showed anger as a follower shouted, “Crucify the impostor! Tell us where the real Pinkie Pie is!” The crowds moved in on her as she was pushed towards the back of the church.

Brother Steedson even turned on the pink pony as he threatened, “Tell us or die!” Pinkie was trapped between an enclosing circle of thousands of angry followers as they closed in on her.

She cried out, “I am the real one! I am the real one! I am th-” She stopped, looked at me and said,

“Wha-What just happened?” asked Brother Steedson as him and every one of Pinkie’s followers were left dumbfounded at what they had just witnessed. Pinkie was shocked too at their appearances; she didn’t know what the big deal was.

“What do you mean?” she asked Steedson.

He replied, “Who in Tartarus was that!?”

“Ohhhh,” Pinkie giggled as she smiled at Secrets and Lies. “His name’s Secrets and Lies... well not really, but that’s his online alias. He likes to be, well, secretive.”

As she turned to look back towards everyone, the multitude had begun bowing before her and praising her name.

Brother Steedson cried out, “We believe you! You are the Pinkie Pie! Forgive us of our petty faith and lack of knowledge.”

She smiled and chimed, “Okie dokie lokie... But you gotta promise me something, guys!”

Steedson looked up at Pinkie, clasped his hooves together and cried out, “Anything, my lord! We would die in your name! We are your humble servants, Pinkie Pie!”

“Ah, no need to do that! I want you all to go about your lives and forget all about me. I’m just a regular pony like you; I don’t want to be treated any differently. Remember my little story from earlier and you’ll be as right as rain all your life!”

Brother Steedson hesitated at first, but looked back in Pinkie’s sapphire eyes and smiled up at her, “We will... Thank you for everything...”

“No problem! Everypony come in here for a hug!”

*****

Well it seems things got back to normal in old Ponyville. Pinkie Pie was brought back by Brother Steedson who went off to pursue, ‘other goals'. Pinkie met up with Twilight to apologize, but Twilight was surprisingly the first to apologize for the way she acted. They both helped write a well written letter about the accounts, experiences, this ‘Secrets and Lies’ fellow and what they learned about friendship to Princess Celestia who tended the fire in her bedroom with the letter they sent her. Needless to say, everything went back to the way it was... well, sort of....

There was a knock on the door of a parked prairie wagon just outside of Ponyville. A tired mare, submerged deep under the covers of her bed, rolled over and looked at the clock on the other side of the small room.

“Ugh, it’s three in the morning... this better be good...”

She stumbled out of her bed and made her way over to the door of her wagon. She lightly pressed the door open and what she saw made her mouth gape open. She was wide awake and completely caught off guard by the strange scene in front of her. A large multitude of creatures surrounded the wagon with Brother Steedson standing the closest to the mare’s wagon.

The crowd simultaneously shouted, “Hail! The Great and Powerful Trixie!”