Only Fools Rush In

by The Mad Clopper

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character, Porn, Trixie, Rarity
Length: 9353

Thomas and Rarity have a one night stand.

This story takes place after chapter 9, and before 11 of The Whittler.

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Rarity has always been a lady, but sometimes, a lady has needs. Rarity also has an eye for the unique, and Thomas Baker is definitely unique, as well as some other uncouth adjectives. After his party, and a little more alcohol than either of them should have had, she decides to have a sample of the local human, and have some fun while she's at it.

Thomas is a simple, red blooded human who's wants and desires are everywhere but where he needs them. He's not one to turn down a mare who's coming onto him, but at what cost? After all, it's not like he cares. It's just sex... right?

Trixie just wants to go to sleep.

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Second chapter is the actual clop. Fairly vanilla, so nothing too kinky. Well, no more kinky than having sex with a marshmallow equine would be I guess.
Preread and edited by the amazing anonpencil, Fregz, and Snakeskin Ducttape.

Published 2019-07-16 03:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-16 03:30:02 UTC

1: I Can't Help

Author's Note

This takes place between chapters 9 and 10 of The Whittler. Yes, this is canon to the story.

1: I Can't Help

The inside of Thomas’ business and home was pitch black as Rarity struggled to find any sort of light switch. Thankfully the familiar glow of Trixie’s magic was seen grabbing onto a switch, taking the knob and twisted it to turn on the single overhead light.

Thomas was last to enter, shying away from the light.

“Times like this I prefer candle light, or even oil lamps,” he grumbled.

Rarity let out a ladylike laugh. “Yes, but I imagine the lack of worrying over your easily flammable wood products is a boon, no?”

Thomas shrugged. “You make an excellent…” he suppressed a belch, “point.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do.”

Trixie gagged, sticking out her tongue.

“Well, Thomas, I think this is where we say our goodnights,” Rarity said, glancing at Trixie.

“Oh? Is that so?” Thomas kneeled down, giving Rarity a questioned look.

“Well, what else is there to do? You’ve had your party, we’ve all had some drinks, and now it is time for bed.”

Thomas reached out, brushing Rarity’s mane away from her face.

“You are a horrible liar,” Thomas said, grinning.

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m flattered, really, that you’ve been eyeing me up since yesterday, but aren’t I a little old for you?”

Rarity blinked. “I think that is the first time I’ve been insulted by being called young.” Puffing her cheeks, she continued. “So what of it? Is it wrong to admire such a… unique specimen?”

“Admire and lust are two different things.”

“Oh, so you think I’m lusting over you, is that so?”

“I may have been off balance, but I could hear you two clear as day outside. You like older men, eh?”

Now Rarity’s cheeks were flushed. I should have known…

“Well, as much as Trixie finds this…” she waved a hoof at the two, “amusing, she thinks it’s time to sleep. Thomas, Trixie will be in the usual spot. If anything’s wrong, you know where to find her. Although, she’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

With that, she marched upstairs, a slight flick to her tail.

“My my, somepony’s jealous.” Rarity put a hoof to her mouth. “Oh dear, I said that out loud.”

“Yeah, alcohol does that to ya,” Thomas said, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. “Now, the question is what to do with you.”

Rarity raised a brow. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Thomas leaned forward, touching his nose to Rarity’s. He then huskily whispered, breathing on the mare, “I mean, what do I do with a tipsy unicorn?”

Rarity’s eyelids drooped. Oh, his breath is just foul. Then again, mine isn’t so fresh either...

“Oh? What am I to do with a drunken fool?” She also let out a breath at Thomas.

Thomas took that as his que, and tilted his head, pressing his lips against Rarity’s. She couldn’t help but notice how dry and chapped they were, but her inhibitions were back at Sunny’s, tucked away in her suitcase.

She pressed back against his lips, her tongue ready at the chance to act. His face structure was much different she couldn’t help notice. While her muzzle was longer, and protruded from her face, Thomas’ mouth was flat. His nose was a separate entity that stuck out, and he had to tip his head farther than a regular pony needed to achieve good contact. Not in a bad way, as she began to feel Thomas run one of his hands down her neck, and under his shirt still on her back.

With her magic, she began to pull the shirt off, but Thomas stopped her with a bite of her lower lip.

“No, leave it on.”

Rarity pushed her tongue against his teeth. A shudder ran through her as she felt his canines.

“Oh? Do you humans prefer to make love clothed?”

Thomas let go of her lip, and parted his teeth so his tongue could touch hers as their lips met again. He hummed, and Rarity could feel the vibrations through her muzzle.

He parted from her mouth, their saliva on each others lips.

“No, the fun part is undressing.”

Rarity couldn’t help but wag her tail.

“I’ve had some customers from Canterlot tell me that. Never done it myself.”

Thomas grinned, “Well, I’ll have to show you what you’ve been missing out on.” He pulled her closer with both hands. She made contact, chest to chest, with Thomas. Her halfway exposed coat rubbed, thanks to the large collar, onto his bare chest.

No, not bare. He does have hair there, just not as thick as on his head. Interesting…

Rarity couldn’t help but run a hoof over the short hair, tickling her frog as she did so. Thomas leaned forward again and connected lips, this time she gladly gave him permission with parted teeth, and their tongues began to touch one another. Exploring, meshing; two muscles, parts of their bodies connecting.

She couldn’t help but notice she was winking, her tail lifted.

She also couldn’t help but notice that Thomas was fully aware of this, and had one of his hands under his shirt on Rarity’s back, scratching along her spine and towards her dock.

Those hands, how Trixie does not take him for herself I cannot understand!

Rarity rested her other forehoof onto Thomas’ lap, his denim jeans feeling extra tight near his upper thigh. Deciding to experiment, she removed the hoof on his chest, and wrapped it around his back, trying to mimic his motions down his spine.

He was, unfortunately, taller than her legs length, and couldn’t reach all the way down to his dock.

Oh right, no tail. What would that be called then?

At her hoof’s touch, Thomas continued to hum, as they continued to kiss long and deep. Every few seconds they’d separate, draw in a shared breath, and continue once more.

It was at one of these breaks that Rarity asked, “Do you understand the implications of sharing one’s breath, Tom?”

“Intimacy, from what I gathered. Trixie explained it to me once before.”

“Oh? And have you two also shared your breaths?”

Thomas pulled away, not much to completely lose physical contact, but enough for Rarity to notice.

“I’m sorry, Darling. I… this, we… it’s not right. You and Trixie-”

“Are not together.” Thomas gave the mare a sad look. “She’s independent. Once her wagon’s done and she pays up, she will leave. Just like the other times she’s come and gone.”

Rarity was silent a moment. Her right ear twitched towards the stairs, where she thought she heard a slight movement.

“Oh. I see. So that makes you two…”

“Enemies. With benefits. Considering I usually have some bite marks on my shoulders after a few rounds with her. Thankfully, ponies teeth aren’t sharp.”

Rarity hummed at the thought, then realized something.

“Did you say… rounds?”

Thomas’ down look shifted to a sly grin.

“If the mood’s right. I might not be able to compete on the size thing with stallions, but us humans were made for stamina.”

Before Rarity could ask, Thomas leaned forward to kiss. Rarity accepted, once again running her tongue against those canines. She wasn’t used to such sharp teeth against her tongue, but it made her excited with danger. Like prey and predator.

“You know, you could use some chapped stick,” Rarity said between breaths.

“You could use a breath mint.”

Rarity pushed back, hoof against his chest in mock disgust. “Why, the nerve! You dare say that to a lady amidst a fit of passion? I think the mood is ruined now.”

Thomas’s right hand, which Rarity could still feel on her dock, suddenly ran down her left flank and squeezed.

Rarity let out a gasp as her tail whipped madly.

“Hrmmm… no, I think you’re good.”

Rarity let out a pout, but slowly her frown shifted to a grin. “You’ve got a way with mares, don’t you?”

Thomas shrugged. “Only been with a couple, actually.”

“Oh?”

“Now women, on the other hand…”

Rarity tapped her hoof against his chest. “Oh hush, you. I get it.”

Both laughed, and this time Rarity initiated the kiss, although not as intense, merely sharing lips. She bit his upper lip, a difficulty with his prominent nose, but managed to pull away slightly. With another squeeze of her flank, Rarity let go, and again kissed.

Thomas pulled away, breathing heavily. “You know, as much fun as I’m having right now, my ass is going numb from sitting on the floor. I think it’s time to take this upstairs.”

“Why, are you inviting me to your bed?”

“I was going to be polite and say my room, but if you’d like to jump right in then that’s fine by me.”

Rarity blushed, but smiled nonetheless.

“I think that’s a grand idea.”

3: With You

Trixie awoke with a start, scanning her surroundings.

It only took the box filled room and stinky old recliner she was curled up on to realize right away where she was. With a huff, she let out an exhausted sigh, then rested her chin on the arm rest once more, careful to miss a duct tape patch from snagging her fur.

Why was she even here? What point was there? Thomas had taken that tramp Hagity with him to bed for a late night romp, she surely could look after the idiot for one night. The only times she’d had to sleep here was when he’d had too much to drink. After all, she didn’t want the idiot to go dying before her wagon was done.

Ignoring those times when she woke up in bed with him, that is.

With another deep breath, Trixie tried closing her eyes to go back to sleep. Another noise made her ears twitch towards the doorway; the sound of feet on wood floor made her crack open an eye.

She wasn’t sure of how much sleep she had actually gotten thanks to those two’s noises bouncing down the hall, chasing her hopes of a semi comfortable sleep. Mocking her, teasing…

“I am not jealous,” Trixie mumbled, Hagity’s earlier words bouncing around in her head.

There was a lout pat, like someone placing their hand on the door frame, and more footsteps. Trixie jolted when the chair suddenly rocked back, and a very unsteady Thomas looked down at her.

“Draps, occupied.”

He didn’t appear to notice she was awake, both of her ears and left eye following his movements as he stood in front of the chair with only a pair of boxers on. Trixie went to open her mouth and yell at the lout, but he quickly fell to the floor, back resting against the front of the chair.

Then he reached a hand around, leaning into the chair and making it rock, and patted Trixie’s head.

She went to bite, but he’d already taken his hand back.

“You’re too good for me, you know that?”

At Thomas’ words, Trixie blinked, confused at first, but quickly let out a doubtful huff. He continued on.

“All we do is fight, and bicker, and pick on one another. But in a twisted sorta way… I like that.”

Trixie harrumphed, tail flicking at his left shoulder in agitation.

It was quiet for so long, that Trixie had begun to nod off again when the clank of glass bottles woke her up. Cracking an eye open, she glared at the human as he leaned forward, searching for any bottles with liquid in them.

Truth was, she had done the same hours ago, and already knew the answer.

“Drats.” There was a clatter of glass hitting floor and other bottles, Thomas having tossed it away.

“Serves you right,” Trixie mumbled, chin still resting on the arm rest.

“Yeah, that’s what she said too. Serves me right.”

“Well, Hagity has some smarts about her.”

Thomas was quiet for a few moments, spinning a random empty bottle.

“Not her.”

“What?”

“Rarity didn’t say that. My… Racheal.”

“Oh yes, the one from the recordings. Trixie could never understand how anything could love an asshole like you long enough to wed,” Trixie said, venom trailing her voice.

Silence took over. Trixie watched Thomas’s head slump, breathing gently. She took his passed out nature to finally get some sleep herself.

“Asshole.”

At Thomas’ voice, Trixie let out a huff, opening both eyes and facing Thomas’ back. “Yes, you are.”

He looked up at the glass screened box. Pointing towards it, he began spelling out the scratched letters that decorated the screen as his finger went from letter to letter.

“A. S. S. H. O. L. E.”

“Very good, you can spell. Now may Trixie please sleep? She has a morning shift tomorrow at Sun and Fun’s.”

Another break of silence.

“Have you ever been happy, Trixie?”

“What kind of dumb question is that?” Trixie asked with a growl.

“A serious one.”

“Yes, of course Trixie has. When she is sleeping in her own bed, in her own wagon, far, far away from this dump.”

Thomas let out a chuckle. “So that’s a no?”

Trixie stared daggers at the back of his head, a tempting, not moving target for her to smack a hoof with. She held back, barely, and let out a sigh.

“Yes, Trixie has. Long, long time ago.”

“It was something special, wasn’t it?”

“Of course. When Trixie got her cutie mark. She knew right away what her destiny was.”

“Humans aren’t as special to get something stamped on their ass telling them what they’re good at.” He raised a hand to his face. “I have callists on my hands. Scars, from all the wood work I’ve done. Is that my cutie mark?”

“That’s stupid. Of course not.”

His hand dropped to his side. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course, Trixie is always right.”

Trixie watched as Thomas continued to sit still. She didn’t dare try to rest just yet, not until the stupid fool was laying on the hard wood floor, drooling all over himself.

“You’ve never seen the tape, have you?”

Trixie blinked.

“Tape?”

“Yeah.”

“Trixie has enough duct tape surrounding her, thank you.”

For the first time, Thomas turned himself around to face Trixie. She couldn’t help but notice the blank expression upon his face.

“No, not that.”

Placing his hand on the chair, he used it to stand up, and wandered over towards a seemingly random box. Trixie watched as he dug through it, shoving things inside that made a clatter as he did so. Quickly, like he knew right where it was, he withdrew a small rectangular object. White with what looked like a lazy rainbow colored stripe on the face, and Polaroid in black.

It turned out, however, that was an outer sleeve, as he pulled out a black object that matched the same shape as its case. He tossed the case to the ground, and approached the glass screened box.

It was not often when Thomas surprised Trixie with something new, and quite frankly she was proud at times that she knew more things about the human than other ponies, save for Bob of course.

When he pressed a button on the front, and the screen came to life… she realized there was still more things she did not understand about the human, or his technology.

Remaining quiet, Trixie continued to watch as Thomas fiddled with inserting the black rectangle into a flap covered slot, the black and white fuzzy screen illuminating most of the room with a small flashing green 03 in a corner.

With a final try, he inserted the black box into the slot, and Trixie watched as it sucked it in on its own. The static like screen changed to one of solid blue, nearly destroying her night vision. After a few painful blinks, she noticed white words that were unrecognizable at a glance flashing before the screen was taken over by black, with white wavy lines jumping around madly.

Approaching the recliner, Thomas reached down into the side pocket and pulled out another black object, only this one much smaller and covered in buttons. He returned to his position on the floor, pointing the object at the screen. A small green bar appeared, filling in slowly as Thomas continued to press the button. An audible crackle and pop filled the room, and within seconds the image on the screen changed.

Trixie was not sure what to expect from the box, but when a human’s face that was not Thomas’ appeared it took her off guard.

They say curiosity killed the cat. Trixie had the unfortunate failings of a similar fate, the images constantly jumping around between other humans, the sounds of talk, laughter, and music in the background as the screen fought to focus. It was all too curious as she’d see glimpses of groups of humans, and she sat up straight on the chair to properly see.

Once the show settled and allowed focus, it showed what Trixie would call an elderly human. The face full of wrinkles, bald, and several sun spots adorning the head. It seemed to be holding a black device over its shoulder, a little red light blinking. Trixie quickly realized it was, in fact, facing a mirror.

“Dad, what the hell are you doing?” came a voice.

“I had to get the camera set up. Make sure the lighting settings were correct.” spoke the clearly elderly male holding the camera, as Trixie figured out.

“We have a professional camera guy filming the wedding. You don’t need to bother.”

“I know, but his fancy technogarble won’t connect to my TV at home. This way I can still watch it when I feel like picking on Tom.”

“Thanks, Dad, for the support.” Trixie’s ears perked further at the obvious voice of Thomas from the screen.

The elderly man gave a thumbs up, much like she’d seen Thomas give once in a while, and he began walking away from the mirror. The next shot showed three males, one being a younger Thomas in a black tuxedo, and on either side of him two others that shared similar traits, but in a more decorated uniform not unlike those of the dress clothes of Royal Guards. The tallest one had many pins and medals on his chest, while the other, shortest, lacked any at all.

The two Guards had an arm wrapped around Thomas, hugging him and grinning like mad. Thomas, for his own part, was trying to shove them away, but smiling nonetheless. Before long, Thomas had tried to get out of their grip, but the two refused to let go. Suddenly they began to get into a small fight, and only the voice of the elderly man could break it up.

It was strange, as Trixie watched the small numerical clock in the top corner countdown the minutes, which quickly became a half hour as the elderly man, who Trixie figured out quickly was Thomas’ father, talked with others. Asking for anything embarrassing, and many of which things Trixie would, in any other capacity, save for later black mail.

All through this, Trixie would give tentative glances down at Thomas, who would shift around once in a while, the only sign that he was still awake. He didn’t speak, didn’t acknowledge her being there with him watching this film.

Apparently, the wedding itself had already happened, because she’d see Thomas with what she’d suspect was a human woman, if the large chest mammaries were to be a judging factor. Also the clean white wedding gown, but she’d seen stallions sporting the traditional female gown so who was to say if humans didn’t also change things up?

This was the reception, the blending of two families which seemed to favor Racheal’s side. The only family Thomas had was his brothers and father, and his best friend Will who Trixie had heard many stories about.

Trixie’s eyes were drooping closed, her tiredness trying to overpower her curiosity. She was getting ready to close her eyes when there was a booming voice from the screen.

“Alright everyone, it’s time for the couple’s first dance together. Please, open up the floor for Mister and Missus Baker!”

Trixie’s eyes opened wider, watching the display as people moved, and in the center of the room stood Thomas and Racheal.

“Her father passed away a year before this.”

Trixie looked down to Thomas, whose head was leaning back into the cushion of the chair.

“When Rach’s parents got married, their first song was Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis. Her father loved his music, and her mother suggested it as well. Granted, I’d figured that out way before and already had the song in mind.”

Suddenly, beautiful music started up, and a voice began singing. Melancholy is the word Trixie would use to describe it. Like remembering who, and how, a couple had fallen for each other. This was a song devoted to love, and it was beautiful.

An odd sound came from Thomas, watching the screen intently. It was such a strange sound, coming from the human, that Trixie didn’t realize what it was until she looked down at his shivering form.

Crying. Thomas Baker, the pain in her flank, loud mouthed jackass, was crying. Was he missing her? Did he have regrets for what he did? What happened between the two? His younger brother who’d been killed in conflict?

Whatever it was, the song, and their dance, continued uninterrupted while Thomas quietly wept, sitting on the floor in nothing but his boxers. Surrounded by empty liquor bottles, huddled around the recliner she was laying in right now.

Nagging thoughts of worry and sorrow filled Trixie, something she hadn’t felt in ages. How many nights did Thomas just sit in this chair, thinking about his life? His choices? Drinking away his worries and thoughts until they didn’t matter? How many times did he watch this film in such a state? Or listen to that black recording box?

They were plugged in for a reason. He had to just sit here and listen to them. Hating himself. Much like Trixie would do in her wagon, out on the roads of Equestria, after another failed show. Or when the townsponies would chase her out, shouting she was nothing but a fake, and she’d huddle in her bed in the pouring rain. Her leaky roof dripping on her as she cried.

Her first time in Oasis, Thomas had taken care of that leaky roof, and a few other things she didn’t even point out. Over the years, she’d find other small excuses to come out of her way, just to have Thomas look at her wagon and fix what was needed.

And then Ponyville happened, and she had nothing.

While she worked for bits at Sunny’s, he’d painstakingly taken on the job of building her a new wagon. She’d seen it, out back behind his shop, looking completed, if not nearly so. The beautiful carvings, all the stars and moon shapes that matched her cape and hat. All she required now was the bits to pay it off, and she would leave again.

Or would she?

“I’m sorry,” whispered Thomas. “I did it all over again.”

In a shocking move, even to Trixie herself, she draped her tail over Thomas’ left shoulder, hugging him with the limb.

“We can’t change the past, Tom.”

“No, not that.” He wiped his face with a hand, and using his other patted Trixie’s tail.

“Trixie, don’t be mad but… your wagon’s been done for a couple weeks now.”

She couldn’t help but grin at that. “Yes, Trixie’s known.”

The slow song had ended, and now something more upbeat was playing, with multiple couples out dancing. It looked like Thomas was dancing with his then mother in law.

“I… didn’t want you to go yet.”

“How could she? Trixie still owes you the bits.”

Thomas shook his head.

“I’d have let you go anyway. You’d pay me back. Always do, even if it takes years.”

True as that was, Trixie was all kinds of things, but a cheat she wasn’t. Thomas would get his bits for his hard work, even if she had to work on a rock farm.

Trixie watched as Thomas moved his mouth, wanting to say something, but struggled to put the words together. Sleep, however, was coming for Trixie, even with the music playing and humans joyous laughter and dancing mixed in.

Leaning forward, Trixie rested her head on top of Thomas’, and hugged her tail to his chest tighter. His shivering stopped, his breathing evened out, and before long he fell asleep. Trixie closed her eyes, the last image on the screen she saw was of Racheal and Thomas’ father dancing. A single tear ran down her cheek, as she too succumbed to her own weariness.

Author's Note

Well, that's depressing.

2: Falling in Love

Author's Note

I'M SO SORRY THAT I BROKE YOU PENCIL WITH THIS CHAPTER. Trust me, readers, it was a lot worse before Pencil saw it... and I'm afraid that she will forever be traumatized by the fact I wrote into a clop scene the use of Preparation H.

2: Falling in Love

Thomas couldn’t get over the fact of how light ponies were. Looking at them, you’d swear they weighed an easy couple hundred pounds for such small things. After all, they’re built like small horses, and he remembered horses could weigh in the tons back home. Yet when the need came, such as when he’d grabbed Rainbow Dash and Applejack by the napes of their necks, they were practically weightless. Was it a cartoon-like rule, where their weight only mattered when the time needed it? Was it some Rodger-Rabbit-like trickery being played? They could sure punch with enough weight and momentum behind a hoof, or kick.

He hated when they kicked.

Speaking of weightless ponies, it was now Rarity’s turn to be carried by the human. Cradling her in his right arm, his left hand was supporting her back. They were locked in a passionate embrace; her hugging his neck, and their mouths glued together, using flowery adjectives like in a trashy romance novel.

The walk up the stairs was interesting, to say the least. Based on the past encounters playing in his head, he noted Trixie loved to lead. She loved to tease, and would make him follow her up the stairs, giving him a generous view of what was to come. Although, during the action scenes, she rarely gave any hints of her enjoyment save for a subtle moan or curse thrown his way.

The previous mare he’d had in his bed was so plastered -hell, he was too- he didn’t even remember how they got back to his place, let alone his bedroom. Only that the next morning he woke up with a lot of crop marks on his ass.

She was a cherry farmer, or so he thought. Cherry Jessabelle or something of the sort?

His door was already ajar, so with a simple kick of his foot the door swung open, smacking into the wall.

Thomas couldn’t get over the idea that he’d carried this unicorn mare all the way up, without tumbling, or even a single trip on the stairs. It went totally against his usual drunken behavior, alcohol consumption be damned. Although he could still feel the buzz of it in his system, it didn’t seem as potent as it should for what he’d drunk tonight. If the flushed red face of Rarity was to be believed, she was still right at that perfect level of any sex is good sex. That, or maybe he really did still have it.

Trixie never really complimented him in bed, so tonight would tell.

Ignoring the open door, Thomas made way for his bed, kicking off his left boot with a one foot hop that nearly did send them to the floor. Finally, leaning his left shoulder against the wall, he kicked off the other boot. He left his socks on, and pulled Rarity away from him, their lips parting.

“Now what do you think you’re-”

She found herself being tossed haphazardly onto his bed, bouncing a couple times, making the springs groan.

The next goal was his pants; struggling, he began undoing his belt. However, his hands got a tingling sensation, and were drawn away.

“Now now, Mister Baker, you said so yourself, the undressing is the fun part.”

Thomas couldn’t help but grin, and his hands were once again returned to him. Slowly, he took a step towards the bed, then another, all the while a dull blue glow shone from his waist, giving his bedroom a little light.

His belt came off first. Another step towards his bed. Then he felt the button and zipper being undone, and allowed his jeans to fall to the floor, stepping out of them as he continued to draw near.

The only articles of clothing left were his socks and boxers with his shirt on Rarity. He felt a tug on his waistband, but licked his finger and touched it to her horn, stopping the magic.

“Now now, we’re not there yet,” he said in a mocking jest.

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, darling, I’m not in the mood for any foreplay. I’m horny, tipsy, and I’m ready.”

Thomas grinned. Just the kind of women I like. “Fine by me, but I wanna finish opening my present first.”

Sitting up, Rarity cocked a brow.

“But, it’s not Hearth's Warming. That analogy doesn’t really serve-”

The bed protested to the added weight of Thomas as he knelt onto the mattress, and touched lips once again with Rarity. He pushed against her, the two slowly falling back so that Rarity’s lower croup, and then her back, landed onto the soft comforter, absorbing her slow descent. His hands were on either side of her shoulders, pressed down into his bed, which positioned him above her, kissing all the while.

Thomas’ tongue battled brave with the mare’s, but eventually hers would be victorious. He’d let out a huff of air through his nose, and she’d return one as well. Kissing, while fun in its own right, was not what both of them wanted to be doing all night. He pulled away once more, sitting up against the backs of his legs, kneeling with both of his legs on either side of her.

Then, slowly, Thomas ran his hands over his shirt on the mare, feeling the faintest trace of ribs in all the right places. Nearing his breast pocket, the long lost twinge of missing a human woman’s breasts was overlooked by the soft fur a pony had covering them.

As he traced his hands along her, Rarity could not help but let out small giggles, a hiccup or two escaping as her face blushed. Once Thomas reached the collar, he began slowly unbuttoning the shirt down her barrel.

“I’m beginning to see the appeal in removing apparel.”

Thomas grinned. “Just wait until it’s your turn.”

“Maybe I can’t wait.”

Thomas stopped mid way down, feeling his boxers once again being tugged downward, the front of the clothing hung up on his bulge.

“Well, let it not be said that I left a lady waiting.”

Rarity smirked, and her horn died with an audible snap of his boxers on his rear.

The hairs along Thomas’ back stood on end. It’s gonna be that crazy cherry farmer all over again, isn’t it?

Finishing with the last button, Thomas couldn’t help but appreciate the fact that his shirt had done absolutely nothing to hide any of her naughty bits. Breasts? They were much lower, right along the main prize. Teats would be the more appropriate word he’d been taught once upon a time, but there was still that part of him that missed the feel of a busty woman.

Not that mares couldn’t also be busty, however that held other implications that Thomas tried his darndest to not pay attention to when he was at Amethyst’s home before, during, or after nursing time.

Ponies were weird. Then again, he’d thrown out his inhibitions about going native years ago. He saw that movie with the blue, tailed, space-indians before he left Earth, and he’d tap that. This wasn’t so different.

The shirt was still on by the sleeves along Rarity’s forelegs. Hilariously too long, she had rolled them up at some point. Leaning forward, just above where a woman’s navel would be, he began nibbling along the much thinner fur of her barrel, working his way up towards her head.

Rarity was letting out small coo’s of delight, eyes looking down at the human. Finding her forehooves with much more maneuverability now that the shirt buttons weren’t holding her leg movements back, she touched the sides of his head, running her hooves along his scalp in small circles.

One of those hooves hovered over his right ear, and he pulled his lips from her fur, already knowing where this was going.

“My ear’s aren’t as sensitive, so no, they’re not a possible erogenous area.”

“Oh pity. I do love a pony’s ears.”

Thomas smirked. “That’s okay, I got other places.”

“Oh? I’m all ears.”

“Sorry, you should have asked Trixie.”

For a moment, Thomas saw a glint in her eyes break past the alcohol fog. Before she could speak, he lowered back to her barrel, quickening his pace up towards her chin, his hands now finding both her dock and flanks in need of attention.

“Oooooh, those hands.”

Thomas nipped at her chin, then straightened his back so he was face to face once more proper.

“That’s not even the half of it.”

The action of moving forward did two things: Brought him closer so he could look at her, and lowered him down so that his still trapped erection rubbed against her tits. Rarity’s blush jumped ten fold, her entire face went crimson.

Thomas wiggled his hips, and he already knew he had her.

Before he could move further down, Rarity let out a lady- like cough, catching his attention.

“Yes?” Thomas asked.

“Um, Darling, I just had a thought. Before we get too excited.”

Thomas looked down at his bulging erection between her two crotch tits.

“I’m pretty sure we’re beyond that point.”

“No, I mean, that is to say…” Rarity’s eyes moved from his face, looking at one of the walls. “I… neglected to bring some personal items.”

Thomas blinked, and then his grin grew wider.

“Oh. Oh. What, like a condom or something? The Pill? Pfft, I’m pretty sure I’d have heard by now if I’d actually achieved to knock up a pony. No, there’s like, no way it can happen.” Then, a thought struck. “But you’re worried about it. You’re such a dirty, naughty mare.”

Rarity’s eyes shot back to him, just in time for him to kiss her once more.

This one was much quicker, and Rarity couldn’t help but pant in his face when he pulled away, and began whispering into her ear.

“Forgetting your protection like that, deep in the throws of passion with any stallion.” He said as Rarity shivered. “Pinning you to the bed, tearing away at your dress to have his way with you, plowing your ass for all it’s white tushy worth.”

Rarity was absolutely shaking from Thomas’ huskily whispered words in her ear.He suddenly grabbed her forelegs in his hands, forcing them outstretched to her side, pinning her.

“What says you we quit screwing around, and get right to the screwing?” he whispered.

Rarity gulped. As rough as this was starting to go… oh how did she just want this.

Thomas began sliding down her barrel, his thick haired chest running along the thin fur of her stomach. A gasp escaped the mare, as he reached her sensitive teats. He’d let go of her forelegs, but she held them far out from her body, not daring to move them down to shove his face in between those small mounds.

A lady did not beg, after all. And that was probably a sign of begging… probably.

At some point, Thomas backed up, shifting so he wasn’t about to fall off his bed, and hovered his chin above Rarity’s tits. While not the big, plump human breasts, they were still something to marvel at, to touch, suckle, and their position closer to a mare’s goods made them a fantastic spot to tease when eating her out.

Huffing his breath over one of the small bumps, the other hand began to play with the other breast. Rubbing, squeezing, all the while he leaned down more to give one of her nipples a soft lick, teasing suck here and there.

Rarity’s panting was getting more intense, and she fought to speak. “Darling.... I thought… huff, we were skipping the…”

Thomas’ other free hand squeezed her flank, causing the mare to squeak, and her rear legs to squeeze against his head.

“I lied.”

“You… you…”

“Go ahead, say it.”

“Roughian!”

“Close.” Thomas gave another squeeze of her right teat, rubbing the tip of his tongue on the left.

Another gasp. “Brute! Beast!”

“Nope, try again.” Removing his hand from her tit, he slapped her right flank, now using both hands to massage and squeeze those areas of plump fat. His face buried in between her two breast mounds, and he rubbed his cheeks and chin against them.

“Jackass!”

“That’s the stuff!” Thomas couldn’t smile bigger if he had a pony’s muzzle.

Pulling his face and hands away, he couldn’t help but look over the quivering mess that was once a pony. Now, she was his plaything, and before she could fully recover and turn the tables (which all women/mares eventually do to him), he needed to get to some fun. Taking a rear leg in each hand, he spread them open, gently rubbing his hands down her inner thighs, and spreading them to reveal his true prize.

Back to the fact of pony anatomy being a strange thing, Thomas had been left awake at nights (when he’d been short on alcohol), just thinking about how similar a pony’s genitals were to that of a real horse back home. He was not a biologist, or whatever they were called, and hadn’t spent much time looking at horses’ privates, on the rare occasion he was out in the more rural Michigan towns.

So were they? Similar? It was still a mystery, looking at Rarity’s darker privates, watching her folds opening from her clitoris winking at him, he could see the similarities to women back home, albeit few. An idle thought of his youth came to mind, the wise words of his father when he’d broached the topic of dating a black chick.

“Son, no matter what color their skin, they’re all pink on the inside.”

Wiser words had never been told to his fifteen year old self. Although, the advice he’d learn a few years later of don’t stick your dick in crazy would have been helpful.

I guess some lessons are learned through blood, sweat, and the sharing of bodily fluids.

His alcohol riddled mind was constantly wandering, so Thomas knew he needed to get right into the action before Rarity regained her composure and took over.

He waited for one of the timed winks, and once the pink nub had popped out, he stuck his face right down into her folds, his lips wrapping themselves around the small pink flesh. Rarity let out a gasp, and Thomas took that as his cue to run his tongue over it. Already, she was just dripping with fluids. She was either a very easy mare, or he did still have it.

Self doubts aside, Thomas continued sucking and licking Rarity’s moist pussy, allowing her clit a break from his playful nature here and there. The mare herself was moaning with pleasure, demanding more, more, more.

Alcohol made time work improper. Had it been a minute? Five? However long it had been, between licks of his tongue, and hands fondling her flanks and tits, Thomas was suddenly startled by a loud cry of ecstasy, and his face being washed in a healthy dose of mare fluids.

Backing away, he licked his lips and removed his hands from the mare.

“Well, that was a treat,” he said.

Thomas allowed Rarity a few moments to collect herself, and sooner than he thought she was sitting up, face red and ears twitching.

“Goodness.”

“Glad I hadn’t lost my touch,” Thomas said, smiling.

“Maybe. However, there’s one thing left to take care of.”

“Oh?”

Thomas felt a strange twinge on his leg, and quickly stood to make sure it wasn’t a cramp starting. With a knowing smirk, Rarity’s magic continued to glow and grabbed his boxers. Third time's the charm, as she finally dropped the clothing to the floor, exposing Thomas’ manhood to the mare in all it’s… uh…

“Oh.”

Thomas blinked. “What?”

“Well, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Not what I expected.”

Thomas looked confused. “Are we sobering up? Like, do we need to back away, or…”

Rarity silenced the human with a zip of his lips.

“Oh hush, you. I’m the Element of Generosity, for Celestia’s sake. You had your turn to please, so it is only fair I give back.”

Glaring at the mare, Thomas crossed his arms, silent. Rarity removed the zipper from his lips.

“So what was with that expression?”

“What expression, Darling?”

Thomas waved his finger at her. “Oh no, don’t you dare try that. I’m a professional drunk, so I’m like, less fucked than you are.”

“That is true, I’ve already come to orgasm once.”

Thomas opened his mouth to argue, but stopped, lowering his hand.

“Well, I can’t argue with that logic.”

Watching Rarity roll onto her barrel and crawl along the mattress towards himself, Thomas remained standing along the bedside, fully erect. Quickly, the mare found her snout within inches of the human’s penis, studying something she’d never seen before.

A human penis, something he swore she mumbled under her breath.

As she blew a hot breath on the extremity, Thomas held back a shiver as Rarity smiled when it twitched, and he himself let out a held breath. Wasting no time, Rarity opened her muzzle and ran her tongue around his head, leaving a helpful lather of her saliva as she traced along the unusually pointed flare.

Stallion anatomy was not one of Thomas’ hobbies, but even he knew that there were differences in shape, size, and performance.

Other than Trixie, no mare had ever complained about any of his attributes, or given him a side by side comparison from memory.

He could have seen the purple one, Twilight, doing something like that.

Thomas let another shudder take over his body, a combination of the slightly unwanted mental image and Rarity’s muzzle working along his shaft. Her tongue working along the underside, although oddly sticking to the mid way point of the shaft. He reached his hands out to grab her head, but with a flick of magic, they were shoved aside.

Even half drunk and in the throws of sexual stimulation, she didn’t want her mane touched.

It wasn’t twenty strokes of her muzzle on his shaft before Rarity pulled back, a saliva trail between her and his penis.

“I do last a bit longer than that, you know,” Thomas said with a frown.

Rarity didn’t give him the courtesy of responding, instead she turned around, tail flicking and giving his left side a light hearted wack. It also helped give him a glorious view of her darker nethers as her tail remained along his left side, twitching with gentle strokes. The curve of her well rounded flanks that would, at particular angles, hide the jewel of any female anatomy, species barriers be damned.

Tails were quite the thing. Gave you something to pull on, run your fingers through since it was a lot harder to reach a mare’s mane when giving her a good pounding. He’d seen bite marks on a mare’s neck before, along her mane, but could never connect the dots.

More weird pony things. Then again, he’d had some crazy big hickies in his youth…

His dick was still good and wet, and watching the mare before him winking at him stirred him to move. Her rump was nearly to the bed edge, which worked just fine for him. Going at a mare from behind was always a challenge, because between the height differences, there was never any good common ground.

Thomas wanted to believe the meticulous mare had seen this early on and knew what she wanted. Or both their alcohol fogged minds just didn’t care at this point and said screw it.

Thomas shrugged. “Okay, screw it.”

Rarity didn’t acknowledge him talking, instead giving his left side another pat from her tail. Taking his penis in his hand, he leaned forward, rubbing it along her folds. Down the middle, up along a side, down the other side, back up the middle. Her winks were not as frantic or prudent as they were before her orgasm, but if anything he’d learned, most women could go for a while before tiring.

Mares were even more prone to this.

Alcohol was a wonder drug of sorts for his libido and sex drive. He wasn’t embarrassed to say he was a typical, normal man that on a good day would go a good ten minutes before being done. Those old XXX tapes he had were all a crock of shit. That being said, alcohol usually gave him a little bit less time, although he was usually more sluggish and less attentive to recieving the pleasure, as opposed to giving it out.

As she’d said before, Rarity was the… something of Generosity, so she was a generous mare of some sort. Sure, he could work with that. In the last half hour his mind had begun to clear, although there were still blurs in his vision and he knew he was forgetting something in the back of his mind.

Oh well.

At an insistent push against his shaft, he couldn’t help but smile as the white mare before him would aid in moving her rump along with his hand on his dick. Enough was enough, it was his turn for fun. Letting go, he placed both hands on her diamond studded flanks, and gave a gentle push forward.

“Ooooh.”

There wasn’t much emotion behind that coo, but it was still something at least.

He continued to gently push forward, all the way into the mare as his groin pressed against her dock and flanks.

“Are your doubts cleared?” Thomas asked, giving her flanks a light slap.

“They would be if you’d put that thing to use.”

Thomas laughed. “That sounded a lot like…”

Rarity turned her head back, giving Thomas a knowing look.

Not giving her the pleasure of responding, he began pulling back until just his head was inside, then gently pushed forward again. He started up a nice, slow rhythm, with Rarity occasionally pushing back. Moans were shared, the quiet thrusting only interrupted by an occasional slap of a flank, or whip like smack of her tail on his side.

As the pounding continued, picking up pace, Rarity’s horn let off a soft glow. A random small spark would shoot off if Thomas angled a thrust a little to the left or right, and an audible “Oh!” accompanied it.

Man, I really do still have it.

After a few minutes of that, his pounding became faster, audible slaps of his hips on her flanks making the room echo with grunts, moans, and wet suction. The amazing muscle movements of her inner walls on his dick were trying their hardest to push him further, faster, and suck his rod for everything it had. Occasionally, he’d try to pull all the way out, but the mare was having none of that and would clamp her muscles down until he got the message and pushed back in.

Damn were ponies something else.

Thomas had a good rhythm going, one hand giving her right flank a slap while the other played with her dock and occasionally fingering her ass, when suddenly he felt a shiver. Rarity’s tail wrapped around his left leg thigh, and his world turned to pain.

He stumbled back, hitting his wall and falling to the ground, left leg convulsing.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Kicking out his heel to try and stretch the muscle, Thomas couldn’t help but notice Rarity was still rocking in place, but her ears were twitching wildly. Quickly realizing something was amiss from lack of stimulation, she turned around. Eyes going big seeing him on the floor massaging his leg, Rarity was quick to jump down to the floor with all four hooves making an audible clop.

“Oh dear, what happened?”

Thomas grit his teeth, rubbing his hands along his left calf.

“Damn cramps, too much booze and not enough water.”

Rarity was off like a shot, out of the room and down the stairs. For a few minutes, Thomas sat on the floor working his leg. It wasn’t five minutes before Rarity returned, although missing his shirt, and a glass of water in her magic.

“I found a sink in the back room, and this… mostly clean glass.”

“That’s fine,” Thomas said, taking the floating cup and downing the glass.

“Are you okay?”

Nodding, Thomas set the empty glass on the floor and went to stand.

Rarity was there in an instant, helping support the nude human, eyes hovering on his softening member.

“Well, that spoiled the mood.”

Thomas couldn’t see her grin, but felt the tingle of magic on his penis.

“Shit that’s cold!”

“Well, Darling, I don’t expect you to stand for any more of our time, but you’ve yet to have your fill it would seem.”

The tingle went down to his balls, giving them a good rub.

Oh shit I forget how unicorns are…

Thomas sat onto the edge of his bed, the magic touch fading. Rarity jumped up, placing her forelegs on either side of his hips, her face level with his chest. Looking down at the mare, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Sorry I killed it.”

Rarity looked down at his now hard shaft, then back up to his face with a confused look.

“Or… not? Huh.”

Suddenly, Thomas watched as those alcohol fogged eyes grew predatory, and she placed a hoof on his chest, pushing him back. From her angle, she could not follow him down, but he got the hint and laid on his back. Rarity moved to the side, jumping up on the bed, following Thomas with her eyes as he shifted, scooting up so that his head was on a pillow and laying parallel with his bed.

“Do you have something in mind, then?” Thomas asked.

Her eyes lingered on his, then slowly she looked down at his fully erect penis. Walking along his mattress, he shifted back and forth with the movements, until she was standing over him, slightly lowered so that her breasts were tickling his penis head.

“I have a few suggestions.”

“Well by all means, please proceed.”

Rarity leaned forward, giving a quick kiss on the lips.

“I’m sorry for calling you a jackass,” she said.

“Don’t be.”

“No, really, I-”

Thomas reached his hands over her croup, and with a firm grip slammed her down onto his awaiting shaft.

“OOOOH!” Rarity all but whispered, moaning as Thomas gave a couple upward thrusts, but stopped when his cramped leg began to protest.

“So, am I still a jackass?” he asked with a smile.

Rarity’s eyes grew that predatory look again, and she placed both forehooves on his chest, digging into his skin. Her frogs squeezed, grabbing and pulling on chest hairs.

Lifting her rear off his dick, she came down much more gentle like, and began riding Thomas cowgirl style. The occasional gyration of her flanks, mixed with her muscles clamping and clit winking, was already putting Thomas near the edge once again. Better yet, she was doing all the hard work, with him only giving a small thrust when appropriate.

As Rarity’s pace grew, she began leaning forward, forehooves sliding off his chest and digging into the mattress on his sides. Thomas removed his left hand from her flank, and rubbed it along her side, running circles in her fur. At one point he went to try and reach under her for a nipple, but he didn’t have the arm length, and was feeling lazy and didn’t want to lean up.

Plus, her horn was pointed right at his face.

Rarity’s pace was picking up feverishly, and he knew that soon they’d both be done. He was close, and by her movements so was she.

Suddenly, Rarity leaned forward, almost laying her barrel on his stomach, and bit down on his shoulder. Hard.

Thomas groaned at the pain, only marginally thankful ponies had such blunt teeth. Didn’t change how hard they could bite, he had to remember, but still, better than having canines biting and drawing blood.

He had some crazy ex’s.

He could feel a lot of moisture around his balls and pelvis, so he knew she was there. Thomas returned his hands to her flanks, and putting his cramped leg in the back of his mind began meeting her drops with his own thrusts, until the pony had given up and just let him plow into her at full speed.

“Oh… oh… oh.. Oh..” she said, with each hammered thrust. “I’m… I’m gonna…”

“Yeah, that’s right, say my name.”

“Oh, Thomas!” He felt her inner muscles suddenly go vice like, restricting his movement.

“Trixie!” Thomas moaned, and felt his balls clench up.

Rarity pulled her face back from his shoulder, a pained expression on her face as she stared at him, all the while her mane bouncing with his thrusts. There was something there, Thomas could feel her eyes sizing him up, but his own orgasm had his attention pulled away from her gaze as he gave one final thrust.

The first pulse of sperm was the most intense, feeling like he was shooting out a river’s worth of fluids into the mare. The second, much more reserved, followed by a third and forth. After that, they became gentle twitches.

Rarity flopped onto his chest, making his still hard member to poke at one of her inner walls, causing a shudder he felt vibrate in his rib cage.

Thomas was wet with mare fluids, sweaty from both of their bodies, and sore. Oh he was sore, but it felt good.

But a few moments later, his now soft dick came out, chilled by the cool night air, but he didn’t mind any bit. Rarity was resting on him, a hoof playing with a particular long strand of chest hair, and rubbing her muzzle under his neck, eyes closed.

Laying back, panting away, Thomas ran a hand through her messy mane, which she did not protest in the slightest.

“That… was fun,” Thomas said with a small laugh.

Rarity picked her head up, looking him in the eyes.

“That… was nice,” Rarity whispered.

“What?” Thomas stared back, confused by this sudden mood shift.

Opening her mouth to talk, Rarity paused, and shook her head, returning it back to under his chin.

They lay like that for a few moments, and before long the gentle snores of Rarity took over the quiet room.

Still awake, he continued to stroke Rarity’s mane. For the fun he had, he could not help but feel a gut wrenching blow inside, like he’d made some terrible mistake.

It’s not like Trixie and I are together.

Closing his eyes, he tried to put the thoughts in the back of his mind while imagining the arguments the morning would surely bring.