Author's Note
One gag is partially based on the Three Stooges episode, “I Can Hardly Wait”.
Tyranny of the Fruit
Night Flight awoke unceremoniously. Nothing extraordinary, just another night. She glanced at the clock: 11 PM. She groaned. It’s too early to wake up, she thought. A night was a night, however; she couldn’t deny that. She freshened up, cleaning her wings and sharpening her fangs, then went downstairs. She looked in her fridge: dozens and dozens of mangoes. She smiled.
“Everything I had to do to get you all,” she said to the mangoes. The mangoes solicited no reply. She picked one particularly large delicacy up, peeling off the label (”Mary Mango’s ManGoGoGo Farm,” it read). Without much thought, she jammed the fruit into her jaws.
Then she bit down.
And bit.
And bit.
“Hm?” she mumbled. She tried biting again. No result. “Mm... Mmm!” she mumbled again, panicking. She went to a drawer and picked up a fork. Using a wing, she stabbed the mango. Thinking she had won already, she tried pulling the mango...
...Which ended in only the fork popping loose.
Night tried again, which yielded the same result. She gave up on the fork, wondering about using a knife.
No... That might cut me. Hmm... she wondered. I’m gonna need some help! She ran outside, hoping to find somepony to help save her from this evil mango.
~~~~~
Five minutes went by, and Night ended up knocking on the door of her friend Duskfall. After 30 seconds of spastic knocking, a purple thestral stallion answered the door.
“Night, what is it this time?” Duskfall asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Is your toilet clogged again? Fine, you can use mine.”
“Mmmm!” Night mumbled, pointing a hoof to the fruit in her mouth, pupils dilated in panic.
“Oh jeez... Not Code Orange again... Alright, come in,” Duskfall replied, motioning for Night to enter his home.
Moonfall, the stallion’s sister, came running downstairs. “Dusk, what’s going on- oh, no,” she said. “Is it-”
“Code Orange, yes,” Dusk replied.
It’s okay, Night Flight, it’s okay. These two are experts. If they can’t get it out, no one can, Night assured herself, calming down slightly.
“Hmm... Bad that we lost that Mango Unlocator the other night... Would’ve really helped here,” said Dusk, wondering how to help his friend out of this plight.
By the moon, I’m gonna be stuck like this forever, am I? Night wondered, body entering panic mode once more.
“I got it!” Moonfall said, racing upstairs. She came down moments later with a string and a long pin.
“Mm?” Night asked, as best as she could.
“I’ll pull it out using this string, poking a hole through the mango using the pin,” Moon replied, smiling like she would start a scientific revolution.
“Why is this your solution to everything that gets stuck somewhere, sister?” Dusk asked.
“Yes, brother!” Moon replied. She got to work immediately.
The pin slid right through the mango nicely, forming a hole penetrating one side and going out the other. The hole was the perfect size for the string, she guessed. Gently threading the string through the hole perfectly, Moonfall tied the string afterward.
“And now, we begin.” She backed up a meter and a half from Night Flight, who then proceeded to flail around.
“Watch out! She’s a fighter!” Duskfall said, watching the ordeal go down.
Night flailed around, jumping all around the room in a frenzy, even knocking over some pillows on the couch. All the while, Moonfall held on tight to the string, pulling it in ways that combat the counteracting forces from Night’s flailing. Night dropped to the floor, galloping in a circle on her side and whimpering. With one final tug, Moon’s string snapped apart, leaving the trio back at square one.
“Broke. How do you like that? The biggest catch I ever had and she got away,” Moon said, frustrated and throwing down what remained of the string.
“This is not gonna work!” Dusk replied, Night Flight getting up and traveling over to the siblings.
“Well, let’s think this through. We don’t have the Unlocator, patent pending, hmm...” Moon said, thinking hard.
“Hang on,” Dusk said, hoof to his chin. He got up close to Night, examining the mango. “A ManGoGoGo mango... Aw, Night, you know better than to try and eat these whole! They’re too big! Ugh... Alright. Let’s see... Yeah... Night, could you brace yourself to the chair and the couch, please?”
“Mm-hmm!” Night obliged, wings and forehooves wrapping around the arms of both pieces of furniture.
“Alright,” Dusk said. He got up closer and grasped the mango.
Then he began to pull.
Duskfall pulled with all his might. The first time, his hooves suddenly slipped free before he got a different, more firm and sturdy grip on the mango. Still he continued to pull at the mango.
Night panicked. “Mm-mmm mm mmmm mm mmmm!” she mumbled, roughly translating to, “If you pull out one or both of my fangs, I’ll end you!”
“Sister, a little help on this macho mango?” Dusk asked, beads of sweat dripping down from his forehead.
Moonfall immediately went into action. She wrapped her forehooves around Duskfall’s waist. “This isn’t any lovey-dovey gesture, right? We’re both siblings, and-”
“Be quiet and help me pull!” Dusk replied.
Moon pulled back with all her might, grunting along with Dusk at the task. She started sweating herself. She pulled and pulled along with Dusk, the siblings both using their wings for extra force.
In the end, something came loose: Dusk’s hooves from their grip. The force sent the siblings flying backwards into a wall. They groaned in a daze, then shook their heads to regain their senses.
“That is the toughest Code Orange I’ve ever seen!” Dusk said, not moved from his position.
“Hmm...” Night wondered, focusing her eyesight on the mango in her jaw. She gave two good taps on the mango with her hooves when she felt her fangs re-positioning within the fruit. Giving a good bite down, her jaws chomped the fruit in half, with her hooves capturing the half of the mango that did not go in her mouth. She chewed on the mango until it was chewed enough to swallow.
“Well. Can’t believe it was that easy! If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have come out all this way! Ow, my jaw...” Night said, free at last from the mango’s tyranny. She looked around the room. “Oh! Uh... Sorry for the mess. I gotta go. Catch up with you!” she said, heading out the door and eating the rest of the mango.
Duskfall and Moonfall both surveyed the living room, completely destroyed by Night Flight’s flailing. Realizing how much they had to clean up, they passed out.
Always with Code Orange.
Always.
