John Sampson's Story

“Zero four hundred, John.” Fur and feathers, the perfect combination and I love it. But it’s time to slide off the pad, hit the toilet, thump, and find the kitchen. Spike is waiting to see me before he pours the tea.

“Thank you, Spike. Would you believe that this tea is even better from a pony point of view than human?”

We are a small band this morning. Cadance and Shining went back to the Crystal Empire yesterday to take care of business. They will be back late today to spend the night with us in preparation for the Celebration. AJ will come in on the afternoon train for the same reason and I’m looking forward to showing off for her.

Twilight comes in and up to me, cheek rubbing and lipping my ear.

“Mare, don’t start anything you don’t have a day to finish.”

“Twilight giggled, “It’ll be your fault for strutting around like the hottest stallion in Equestria. But instead, let’s eat breakfast here and then we have a small project to assist your education.”

“You’re trying to torment me with choices, aren’t you? Spike, small fruit, lots of small fruit.”

I wipe out a large bowl of fruit then Twilight leads me up the stairs to our ‘special storage’ room.

“This part of the Castle is very well protected from invasion or surveillance. With just a little more shielding, I can make any magic within this area hidden. You can go anywhere on this floor to about halfway up or down the stairway to the next floor. Give me a few minutes then we can test it.”

Her horn lights up and a net of purple-ish lines began to weave around the room and sink into the walls, ceiling, and floor. Twilight’s concentration increases and another net of lines expands into the walls.

“It’s done. The tricky part isn’t hiding the room, it’s doing so it looks like an empty room from the outside instead of screaming ‘something hidden here’ like that room in the bank. Put on the horn and let me go down a floor and see what it looks like.”

I do and I fumble with the AR enough to convince myself that I could fire it with magic if I had to.

Twilight is back, “About halfway down the stairs you just disappear. It works. You can practice all you want on this floor but remember to lose the horn before you leave this floor.”

“Thank you, Twilight. This is ideal. All I have to remember is to not try too hard and bump my head.”

“John, if you can bend your knees and not fall, you’re done. And I think it’s interesting that your magic is the same color as your spots.”

Alright. Time for business. Start with the obvious. I hug myself and lift. Nothing happens.

An hour later it’s time for a break. Frustration and magic is a risky mix. Switching to my inner pony, I head back down the stairs to find everypony else gone. I need something to stir my mind. Oh yeah. I’m standing in the middle of a world class magic library. Use it, dummy. I change to human to make handling the books practical and dig in. By lunch time I know a lot of really useful things, theoretically. None of it is exactly what I want but I do have some new things to try.

But first, I need food. I put on the cammies and head to the cafeteria for fish and potatoes. Food in hand, I look around for a table. There’s my little filly, Sweet Butter sitting at a table all by herself and a bunch of her ‘friends’ together at a table nearby. This bears investigation. As I near, she is obviously unhappy about something and largely oblivious to the world around her.

So I ask, “May I sit here?”

She looks up and shoots out of her seat, “Of course you can have this table, Your Majesty.”

“I don’t want the table. I want to sit next to you, Sweet Butter. And you see what I’m wearing? Same as the gym. So I’m ‘John’, same as the gym.”

“Oh. . . But Your Majesty, how could I . . .”

“Listen, my friend Sweet Butter, I spend my days worrying about bankers that want to rob Celestia blind, assassins sent to kill me, and hundreds of small arguments between average ponies with just a little too much pride or stubbornness to settle it on their own. That’s a lot for a farm colt that grew up and got tossed into the Royal Herd with little warning or planning. So I like to put my problems aside for a short time when I can. Will you help me do that?”

“Of course . . . John. Is Royal life really like that?”

“Yes it is, and more. Somepony has to do the many things that keep everypony happy and secure. Look at Celestia. She has to raise and lower the sun right on time every single day without fail. And has been for more than a thousand years. Did you know that crops depend on the exact timing of the sun to grow? If Celestia makes a mistake, we all go hungry. That’s why we celebrate the sun and Celestia every summer.”

“I guess you thought I was silly when I said you had an important job.”

“No, I thought that you are intuitive. You remind me a lot of somepony that I love very much. She’s like that. She always says the right thing even when there is no reason at all for it. That’s why I want to know what is making you unhappy.

“It’s just a silly thing. I told my friends what you said and they made fun of me.”

“That’s because they are jealous of you. Every single one of them dreams of becoming Royal but none of them have what it takes. You do. That’s why we are talking. My heart feels it and I know yours does too. They tricked you into speaking with me because they thought you would be like them and lose courage when you found out who I am. You fooled them. You have the courage they lack. You have the qualities I seek in my mares. Now is too soon but I will remember you.

“What should I do?”

“Exactly what I told you. Grow strong and smart. Pass these fools by and leave them in your dust. Life will take care of the rest. Do you go by ‘Sweet’ or ‘Butter’?”

“My herd call me ‘Sweet’.”

“Would you be so kind as to take my tray back to the kitchen?”

“Of course, John.”

“Thank you. Now I must go back to work but you may enjoy watching my departure.”

I get up and walk around the table towards the door, incidentally walking right in front of the table with all the ‘friends’.

As I pass them I turn and say loudly, “Thank you for an interesting conversation, Friend Sweet.”

About half of them look like they are having seizures.

When I get back to the tower I go straight up to the hidden floor. I have a few things to try. The shield works nicely. I can even put it on the floor and stand on it. From there I can lift it and fly it around all I want. It isn’t the goal but it looks damned useful for transporting groups.

Everypony talks about the necessity of fully knowing whatever it is you want to manipulate so I look at myself. There’s a lot to see but no worse than what I’ve already seen editing my bodies. But other than swapping bodies, I don’t seem able to use magic on myself.

I’m hearing voices downstairs anyway. Time to switch back to my inner pony and go greet Cadance and Shining.

“Hello my weary travelers!” Is followed by cheek rubbing and hoofbumping.

Shining want to know, “What’s your progress?”

“I'm figuring out how to levitate. I’ve flown on a shield but that doesn’t count.”

“That’s some advance magic, John. I’d like to see it.”

“That’s easy. I have a practice room in the tower now.”

Cadance couldn’t let that pass, “Now that’s what I call pampering. Twilight must really love you, John.”

I laugh, “Well, she does. But she also got herself out of having to ferry me to remote locations to practice.”

That’s worth a general laugh and we trade gossip and grooming until Twilight, Swift, and Spike walk in.

There’s more greeting, grooming, and gossiping until, finally, AJ arrives. The gangs all here.

I’m strutting, “What do you think about the new look, AJ?”

AJ says, “I like it. Are you going to wear it to the party?”

“Unfortunately, no. It has some accessories that I want to keep secret for now so I can’t let this outside of the Herd. We can go upstairs and I can show it off if you want. Shining wants to see me show off too.”

“Let’s go.”

So I lead the troop upstairs until we pack the small ‘safe’ room. I shift to A-Pony.

Shining jumps right on me, “That’s not my horn.”

“What are you talking about, Shining? I haven’t swapped bodies with anypony else.”

“My horn has five bands. It’s been that way for a while now. Your horn has six bands.”

So I look to Twilight who is standing with Cadance giggling.

“Come on mares, give it up.”

“John, your horn grows with your age and your magic. Celestia has nine bands, Luna has eight. You’re just growing.”

Somehow I’m not completely satisfied but I’m going to treat it as a new subject to research next time they leave me alone with the library.

I demonstrate my riding shield and Shining admits it’s a tough shield even without the riding trick. Just to impress the mares, I anchor to it and turn upside down.

Back in the library I shift to human so I can groom AJ and talk at the same time. I fill her in on the exciting events and she brings me up on farm status. After a light dinner we pile in the bedroom.

“Zero four hundred, John.” Do I have to? The pile is nearly complete and oh so comfortable and secure. But today is Celebration day and I have a part to play. So slide out, toilet, thump, and tea. I’m feeling good and I need to be one of the very first on stage so I get the body and cammies.

Swift is watching and asks, “Do you want me to pack your pretty clothes and sword?”

“No, I just don’t want to chance a breakfast accident. I have to come back by here so I’ll dress here.”

The cafeteria has a fair contingent of dressed Guard including Steel. I sit down with my omelet and oatmeal next to him.

“You know that you can change or even spend the night in the tower? You might want to come inspect the secure room anyway.”

“I trust you to handle it, John.”

“There are some new weapons in there. If anything goes sideways, I can bring very high level force to bear now. I’ve got a pretty wicked shield too.”

“Now that sounds worth a trip. Hope we don’t need any of them today.”

“Me too.”

Back in the tower I get into my Celestia colored pretty uniform then buckle on my big sword.

“Swift, how about packing my Luna outfit and leave it in Luna’s apartment so I can put it on right before going up to the balcony?”

“It’s packed and your small sword with it just in case.”

Celestia is bustling about in her apartment making sure everything is just so. I’m standing next to the door to the balcony, waiting.

Finally, she decides it’s time. I’m up the stairs two behind her. She goes out onto the balcony and I go one step out and two right. Assume parade rest. I’m watching with new eyes. Could I do that someday? She’s done and smiling for the crowd. Celestia whirls and heads down the stairs with me right behind her. In the apartment she slows down.

Celestia grins at me, “Ready to face the crowd?”

“Oh course. FYI, I left you a present in your favorite deserted courtyard. And, if anything goes crossways, I have a small collection of large weapons in my Unicorn shape.”

“I heard you were working on levitation.”

“I have a good idea that I haven’t tried yet but I can fly without it if needed. I’ve been spending time in Twilight’s library.”

“You may find some of our visitors extra interesting. We have some Minotaurs here today. One or two of them might even be bigger than you.”

“Just don’t let Fred see them.”

“Why not?”

“Fred was born to herd and control bovines. And he really enjoys it.”

“What about you?”

“I can’t say until I meet them. It won’t change what I do anyway, just how much I enjoy it.”

“Let’s go and bask in the admiration of our ponies.”

“I’d be happier if they admired in smaller groups.”

“Get used to it, John. You have many years of it ahead of you.”

And we step out into the main courtyard side by side to acknowledge the salutes and bows of our grateful ponies. Strolling around side by side with a goddess is quite an experience. So many ponies, all eager to pay homage. Interestingly, I seem to be drawing as many as she is. I’m certainly a heavy favorite with the military contingent. After a while we arrive at the dais and Celestia settles down.

“Walk around, John. I want to see if you are as popular on your own.”

I do and I am possibly more popular by myself. The biggest difference is that I have parents bringing their foals to meet me. Celestia is going to love this, I’m a role model.

Twilight and AJ are coming so I angle to meet them.

“Hello, my lovely mares. Are we enjoying this bright sunshiny day?”

Twilight sticks her tongue out at me and AJ giggles.

“Decorum, my darlings, decorum. We are here to be an example.”

Twilight isn’t buying it, “Oh fooie. This is a Celebration.”

“I tell you what, why don’t you stay here with me for a few minutes and do the foal kissing?”

“Do what?”

“Half of Equestria wants their offspring to see me as an example. Celestia is sitting over there in comfort enjoying the show.”

AJ understands. I get a hug for that.

AJ says, “Relief is on the way. Spike and Swift are supervising lunch. Trays will be coming shortly.”

“Now there’s a mare with priorities.”

I manage to get a seat between Celestia and Twilight while we eat but then I’m back ‘on patrol’. I keep seeing Minotaurs in the distance and I know they see me because we both stick up out of the crowd like flagpoles but I can’t seem to get near one.

It is mid afternoon and the crowd has thinned. Time for a break. I get comfortable next to Celestia.

“Did you figure it out?”

“Yes and no. You draw a different crowd. I can’t figure out why.”

“It’s the Earth pony effect. After thousands of years we finally have an Earth pony that made it to the top. ‘Look here little Suzy and Bobby. If you work hard you can be just like him’.”

“But that’s always been true.”

“Celestia, for a pony so damned smart, you have some very deep blind spots. They don’t see time the way you do. For your average pony, fifty years is eternity because they won’t be active fifty years from now even if they are alive. They can feel their body age, see each hair turn gray.”

“So you are young like them?”

“That’s a part of it but not the biggest. You are the ultimate mare, dam to all ponies. How can anypony aspire to be their own dam?”

“And that’s what you’ve been up to with these informal mornings. You are everypony that made good.”

“I’d rather be their friend than their god. Perhaps you’ve noticed by now that deity is a lonely position.”

“I’ve got you. John.”

“Do you? You have a very powerful weapon and a very dangerous toy but do you have the ‘me’ that ultimately controls them?”

“John you have said yourself that I’m the mare you need to head your herd. Our interests coincide on all levels. You know it because you’ve given me your oath twice now. And I’m offering you immortal godhood. What more could you possibly want?”

“Your heart.”

“I still don’t understand, John. I’ve given you everything that I have to give. Doesn’t that prove anything?”

“It does, Celestia, but what’s most important isn’t things or powers, it’s the connection. As spectacular a collection of gifts as these are, you never asked if I wanted them. You assumed that I would want the same things that you want and started dumping them on me.”

“You don’t want to be Royal?”

“Ah, Celestia. You chose right every single time. I don’t see how it could be any other way. But it helps a lot if I feel like I’ve got some say in my own life. You want an equal. But first you have to learn how to be equal. You have to share, not give.”

“You have to forgive me a few old habits. You know what I’m trying to do.”

“And I’m trying to find ways to help you right now. I’ve got a thought question for you. You know that I’ve got a herd of the absolute top mares in Equestria. Which mare do you think two different stallions have announced a desire to challenge me for?”

“It can’t be me or Luna. If another stallion capable of taking either of us existed, you wouldn’t be here. They would have to challenge Shining Armor first if they wanted Cadance. So do they want wealth or power, Applejack or Twilight? Do I get a hint?”

“Your hint is, one of the stallions is Shining. And thank you for finally admitting that you are behind my abduction.”

“Shining wants Applejack? He doesn’t strike me as the money chasing kind so what kind of back story have I missed?”

“He doesn’t want AJ. He wants Swift. So does Steel Will. So will you, if you ever come out of your shell and join the rest of the world. Swift has done as much as you have to make the Royal Stallion.”

“You are going to have to explain that one.”

Right now she is carrying my small sword just in case I might need it. She left my Luna colored dress in Luna’s apartment where I can change when the Celebration changes. Remember how one of the lunch trays had cheese and crackers and small fruits all just the way I like them? She has the map and directions whenever I travel. She makes the tea the way I like it. I look good because she makes sure of it.”

“How is a very good aide more desirable than an Alicorn? Twilight could do all of that with a twitch of her horn.”

“The ability is the icing on the cake. What Swift has is commitment. Her devotion to me is total. We are a single individual with two locations.”

“John, I thought you abhorred the subservient.”

“It’s not subservient when I’m equally committed to her. She stepped out with Shining last spring and has my blessing to do it again any time she wishes because I want her to do things just for her. But her primary goal in life is to make me the best possible stallion so I can make Equestria the best possible world.”

“I can see how that would be desirable. I can see some of that in you, John.”

“Of course you can. It’s one of the components of love. Luna is becoming good at it and it is making her much happier. By the way, don’t look for me tomorrow. I’m going to spend the day sharing with Luna. You might want to try it sometime soon. You and I might even kick around plans for next spring.”

“If it’s so good, why don’t you spend tomorrow with me instead of Luna?”

“Because I said I was spending it with Luna. Tomorrow night after moon raising is open, though.”

“Would we talk like we are talking now?”

“Some. And groom. Maybe sleep a little. Maybe whatever else you want. Being private opens up possibilities. We might even get into horn play.”

“Are you really that strong, John?”

“I was stronger than Cadance last spring and I have grown since then. I’ve added a band to my horn since last you saw it.”

Holy shit. I’m getting wing action from Celestia.

“What about Luna and Twilight?”

“Neither of them made a contest out of it though Luna and I did exercise each other.”

Yep, the wing is growing.

“Celestia, the ponies are watching. If you want to give them a show, I will, but it’s probably more appropriate to the Spring Fling.”

“How much show?”

“About this much,”and I lean over and take her head in my hands slowly caressing both cheeks then I lean a little more and kiss her as thoroughly as I know how. As we hold the kiss I can feel her magic exploring my body. I’m glad I’m wearing pants.

We break the kiss and Celestia tucks her wings back into place. I notice a noise. Looking up for the source, I discover that not only do we have an audience, they are applauding.

Celestia looks a little bemused, “I wonder who they are applauding, you or me?”

“They are applauding us. They spend their entire life seeking and enjoying companionship in its various forms. They are born to herd. A solitary existence is painful to them. They want you to be happy.”

I’m borrowing Luna’s shower so I will be fresh when I appear as Luna’s protector.

“Dost thou poor little Earth pony require assistance with the shower?”

“Not if you plan to raise the moon tonight. After warming up with Celestia you need to be careful how you walk in front of me.”

“Be it true that she asked thou for the kiss?”

“Yes, indirectly. But what didn’t show was what she was doing with her magic under my clothes.”

“This is most exciting, John. Her desire to be ever independent and aloof was one of the core elements of our argument so many years ago.”

I got dried and dressed, buckled on my sword, and waited by the door for the moment.

“It’s time, John.”

“Some day you are going to have to let me in on the secret of your clock.”

But she is by me on her way up the stairs so all I can do is follow. One step out and two steps left. Assume parade rest. I can see her magic as she raises the moon. The raising is simple but the handle is complex. And the big question is how can I see it in my no magic human body? Is all this high power magic around me soaking in?

Luna stands at the rail and smiles for her ponies then we head downstairs and out to stroll the crowd. This crowd is different. We have Batponies, and Batpony foals. The other tribes are all there but almost no foals. And the big difference is that the Batponies want their foals to meet Luna and I together. The walking is much slower because so many ponies want to talk instead of just bow and back. I like this better.

The minotaurs are still around and still keeping their distance.

After a while we settle on the same dais now sporting Luna’s colors.

“I like your crowd better, Luna. They’re more connected, more participating.”

“Be there such a big difference?”

“Yes, your Batponies are interacting with you, the individual, as opposed to Celestia’s abstract goddess image. It’s healthier.”

“An interesting way of looking at it, John. Have thou progressed on thy conundrum?”

“I think I have but I’ve been too busy to test it. I am becoming less hurried in my pursuit as other strengths are developing.”

A Batpony of Luna’s Night Guard is standing quietly in the shadows behind the dais.

“Captain, why don’t you come around here and join the conversation?”

He jumps a little but didn’t immediately move.

“Yes, I mean you behind the dais.”

Luna spoke, “John, my Night Guard are supposed to walk the shadows around me.”

“I understand that, Luna, but he has reminded me that I have been remiss in some of my duties and I must rectify that mistake before it becomes too late.”

The Batpony comes around and approaches us from the front, “Your Majesty, I am at your service.”

“Captain, I should have spent time with you and your ponies before placing you in a public situation like this. That is my fault and I apologize for having to disrupt things to correct it. As you may have guessed, I can see you in the shadows even when my nose is pointed in another direction. I am also far faster and stronger than you might imagine. And I am wearing a sword with a reach greater than your best spears. So if something should happen, get Luna to safety and stay out of my way. It takes a half acre to draw this monster but I can do it faster than you can see. I will draw all threats to me and dispose of them while you and your ponies keep Luna safe. Do we have understanding?”

“Yes, sir. We have heard of your strength and speed but it is good to have it confirmed.”

“I am going to be taking some Night Courts in the near future. We may find some time afterwards to spar or exercise. You need to know who you are working with. Tonight, we have another question. Can you see the several Minotaurs gathering in the far corner of the courtyard towards the moon?”

“Not well enough to identify them, Your Majesty. Would you like them investigated?”

“Please. And if action begins, drop the titles and shout ‘John’. It’s faster.”

“Yes, Sir.”

The Batpony turns and squeaks briefly. A show detaches itself from the courtyard wall and drifts away. A few seconds later a similar shadow drifts above the Minotaurs in a loop and along the south wall to disappear over the west wall.

A few seconds later a Batpony lands next to the Captain, “There are four Minotaurs in the southeast corner and two more approaching them from the west. The four are armed and are putting on mail. There is enough mail and weapons for three more Minotaurs.”

I acknowledge, “Excellent report. Captain, deploy your ponies quietly. You will take Luna’s place on the dais staying shadowed until they commit. Luna, teleport to Celestia’s conference room and get Celestia and Steel up on what’s happening. Tell them that this is probably a feint.”

Luna pops out and the captain moves up on the dais with me.

“Your Majesty, why do you think this is a feint?”

“We’re on ‘John’ time now. Because last time we tangled I smoked five Unicorns simultaneously. They know that seven Minotaurs can’t be more than an annoyance.”

“Are you talking about that magic accident that happened at the same time as the bank raid, sir?”

“Those five Unicorns were defending something hidden in the basement of the bank, something stolen from the Castle.”

“So there may be a lot more to this than what we see right now, sir?”

“I see no point in risking a flock of pissed off Alicorns otherwise.”

We wait. The Minotaurs are moving around but not getting any closer.

I speculate, “They’re waiting for a signal of some kind. That’s good. It gives Steel time to get the entire Castle locked down.”

The crowd seem to be thinning in our vicinity. Not a big change but the bands are gone.

“Captain, is it your ponies or Steel’s pulling the foals out?”

“Ours, sir.”

“Then Steel must have a message for us because lunch is coming.”

“Yes, sir. But I can’t tell who is bringing it.”

“I can. That is Duchess Captain Swift Trail. I can feel our heart.”

The Minotaurs are closer but not a threat. I step down to accept the tray from Swift and place it on the dais.

“I hope they don’t get suspicious about the lack of magic use. What is Steel up to?”

“The Castle is fortified and all targets are accounted for and warded. Steel wants to know what you are going to do about the Minotaurs.”

“Tell him to line the walls around the courtyard with Guard then I’m going to negotiate with them. Have any ambassador or known employer that can be located brought in. Now get back inside quick.”

Before Swift can turn to leave, the Minotaurs are coming at full charge.

“Captain, get Swift in the Castle. She’s a target.”

I crank up my strength then walk out to meet the Minotaurs pulling my sword as I go. The Night Guard are pulling back from their line of attack and filling in behind them.

Deep breath and turn up the volume, “Stop!” and they do, looking bewildered. The biggest one starts towards me again.

“They told you that I don’t have any magic, didn’t they?”

That stops him again.

“They lied. Most of what they told you was lies. The only way out of here for you is to realize that and cooperate.”

He yells and charges. I kick in speed and make a simple roundhouse cut across his neck as I step across his path and out of the way of his falling body.

Slowing down and stepping closer to the rest of them, “Look around you. I can walk away and you’ll still have a company of Guardponies to deal with. Give me details of who is behind this and I will give you passage home.”

One of them spoke up, “We want our ambassador.”

“No. You don’t get to ask that until all weapons and armor are on the ground.”

They comply promptly.

“Now step this way until you are clear of the weapons.”

They do.

“Who wants a ticket home?”

Silence.

I turn to the Guardpony nearest me, “Go get Applejack.”

Back to the Minotaurs, “I don’t expect you to know who AJ is so I’m going to help you. She’s a member of the Royal Herd and an Element Bearer, the Element of Honesty. You can’t lie to her and you can’t hide from her. Information not volunteered does not earn a ticket home.”

Silence. Anypony this disciplined has to be military.

AJ comes in at a full gallop, “We can’t find Swift.”

Focus, “Details?”

“Swift never got back from taking you lunch and there is a dead Nightguard between the dais and the Castle. According to witnesses she was walking with the Night Guard but nopony saw anything happen to them.”

I step back and concentrate. I can feel an even three part beat so I know she is alive and not too stressed but I can’t seem to get a direction. AJ is right in front of me but Swift seems to be in multiple directions. Not good.

“I’m going to look at the dead Guardpony and confirm what happened.”

I sprint over and yep, it’s the Captain. And he has a hole in him just like that last assassin at the Spring Fling. I kick up the speed and run back to AJ.

“We need to extract every single bit of information we can from this bunch. They might know where she is.”

Addressing the Minotaurs, “Your employer has kidnapped one of my mares, a member of the Royal Herd. Don’t count on diplomatic immunity.”

That makes them nervous. I walk up to the one that asked for their ambassador.

“Follow me”

He doesn’t move so I dial up the strength, grab him by a horn, and march him to the other side of the dais.

Pushing him to the ground, I stand over him, “You are messing with my band. Right now the Royal pony wants to make a deal. If that doesn’t work, the monster that eats Manticores will come out. He really wants to play with you.”

Damned if he isn’t crapping all over himself.

“AJ, this one wants to talk.”

AJ walks up and wrinkles her nose, “You must be very persuasive.”

“AJ, I want to know if he tells the least untruth or evasion.”

She looks at him with that special focus.

“Who is behind this?”

We made our way through a long series of questions to arrive at ‘he’s a security contractor for the Minotaur embassy and gets his orders from the one I killed who gets his orders from embassy staff and all they are supposed to do is test our security.’

They all have the same story but the ambassador has arrived and we have somepony new to question. Celestia and the rest of the Royal Herd are with him surrounded by most of the Guard staff.

“AJ, focus on the ambassador.”

“You can’t use magic on me nor can you hold any of my staff. Every Minotaur on my staff has diplomatic immunity.”

“Are these Minotaurs on your staff?”

“Yes they are.”

“Then diplomatic immunity no longer applies. See the dead one over there? All the weapons on the ground? They attacked the Royal Stallion with drawn weapons on the Royal Palace grounds. They aided in the abduction of a Royal Mare. Those are acts of war.”

That shook him.

Celestia spoke up, “John, I’ve known this Minotaur for years and he is an honorable individual.”

“I’m sure he is, Celestia, Aj is standing here verifying it for me. But he is also the chief representative of his government in Equestria and agents of his government are part of an attempted coup right here in front of us. The instant that he gives these agents any aid or authority from his government we are at war with the Minotaurs so just let me handle it. I want him to understand that if any harm at all comes to Swift because he withheld information or help, I will personally escort the entire Minotaur race back to the stone age.”

He’s looking at Celestia, pleading.

“Don’t bother looking at her. She knows she can’t control me in this. I’m plenty strong enough to tear your land to pieces without any help. AJ, verify that for him.”

AJ put the look on me, “John, the Element agrees with you.”

I look back at the ambassador.

He collapses, “There is one other. They are all ‘security contractors’ hired in the capital and sent to me as a package. I can take them or resign. I tried to find their boss to bring him here with me but he is signed out to go to dinner with a pony of the herd Blueblood. They are supposed to be discussing a construction contract. I will bring him to you when he returns.”

“He won’t return. He’s dead by now. They haven’t hesitated to kill ponies so they damned sure won’t be bothered by killing other races. What do you think we should do with the rest of them?”

“I and my government disavow and repudiate all of them and all of their actions. They are all part of some rogue operation not sanctioned by any legitimate agency of the Minotaur government. I beg that you be merciful with them.”

I look up at the Royal Herd present, “We have more than enough for a Royal Court present. Does anypony present doubt their guilt?”

I take a headcount and get all ‘no’.

“Geld and release them.”

Another headcount gets a little hesitation but no disagreement.

“Colonel Steel, can you make sure it gets done quickly? And get them some tarps to haul off their remains without contaminating any more of the Castle?”

“With pleasure, Your Majesty.”

Turning back to the ambassador, “Be sure to make a complete report to your government ASAP. I want them to know what they have awakened.”

I walk over to where Luna is standing, “Luna, please walk with me.”

“Of course, John.”

As we drifted towards the Castle door, “I didn’t even ask his name. What kind of band does he leave?”

“He was Dark Sword and he leaves two mares and three foals.”

“Have they been notified?”

“Yes. The Guard will care for them.”

“So will I. I owe him. And I am sorry for screwing up your day.”