John Sampson's Story

Celestia is hearing Court. Yes, John, no matter how intense your problems, the rest of the world still has some of their own. So I go looking for Luna. Luna is good for me.

It’s quiet in Luna’s apartment so I look without making noise. Yep she’s asleep. Good, just what I need. I slip softly next to her and settle down. Raising my wing, I curve and shape it so it covers all of her. As I pull, she snuggles against me. Her wing twitches but stops. I rest my chin on her neck thinking ‘yes, this is the ideal sleeping position’ as I slip away myself.

I hear voices but they’re familiar voices so I’m not concerned.

AJ says, “I think I see Luna’s nose sticking out over there. Treasure this sight. That’s a real stallion right there doing what he does best.”

Civil is breathless, “He offered me a job then told me it could be more if I asked.”

AJ is serious, “Then he sees something in you. Don’t screw up and miss your chance because if he said it, he means it.”

I pick my head up and look at them, “If you are going to talk about me at least go in the other room so I can sleep.”

AJ says softly, “I’m sorry, John but we have news. The challenge is legit. No assets are being hidden and at least half of Blueblood’s employees are already celebrating their new boss.”

“Okay. Now I’m awake.”

I start the process of separating my wing from Luna and folding it away.

Luna wakes, “Hello, John. Must thou go?”

“I’m afraid so. The challenge has been confirmed as legit and I have a few preparations left to make.”

This gets Luna to her feet, “Then thy most important preparation will be with me.”

“I was hoping you would say that. AJ, you will ride with Twilight. Stick close to her until the notice comes. Civil, stay with her. Twilight will be able to tell you where we are going. Luna and I have a bit of unfinished business to attend to.”

As they are walking out of the room I can hear Civil say, “Would you believe that before today I actually thought that Blueblood is how Noble is normally done.”

“Luna Darling, I’m going to have a little tea before we get serious.”

“I believe that I may join you, Stallion John.”

But I have to hit the toilet first so by the time I get to the kitchen Luna has the tea brewing.

“Listen carefully to what I say Friend John. This will be both amazing simple and horrid complex. Thou must master both parts before thou can practice teleport safely. Remember levitation and pushing against the world? Now thou must learn to pull the world to thou. That be the simple part. The complex part be in identifying a specific part of the world to pull upon.”

The tea is ready and pouring it gives me a moment to reflect on what Luna is saying. I feel another of those ‘why not’ moments coming on.

“Look upon the room over there. See not only the walls and floor but also the space between. Grasp the individual identity of that space. Canst thou see it?”

“Of course, Friend Luna.”

“Then set thy tea down and pull that particular space to thyself.”

I do and it comes quite easily. I turn around and Luna is at the table formerly in front of me. A simple thought and I’m back, facing the table. I pick up my tea and blink, I’m back across the room facing Luna.

“I don’t see why I couldn’t bring my tea the first time”

“Wizard John, thou art the most delightfully exasperating student that it hast been my pleasure to know.”

“What did I do now?”

“Determining which direction thou shalt end facing is advanced level. Thou should be ready for that lesson in a few weeks.”

“What I can’t figure out is how to be sure you don’t end up colliding with something solid. I know you can teleport to places you can’t see. How can you be sure nopony is standing in the room you are teleporting to?”

“That be the easiest part. If thou tries to teleport to a place already occupied, thou will bounce. The hit will be small and simple to avoid by merely moving over or waiting.”

“I like that. That means all I need to do is get some maps memorized and I can go anywhere in Equestria.”

“Slow down Friend John. Thou needs more than a simple picture to define a place.”

“Of course. I’m using Cartesian coordinates with the center of the Throne Room as my zero point for temporary use today. That’s how I got my orientation right. All I need is to learn the Equestrian standard system and teleport to altitude the first time I visit a place. After I land, I can choose some good way points. That’s unless somepony has already made a book of way points.”

“Be those Terran terms for teleportation methods?”

“There’s no teleportation on Terra but maps and GPS use those things to identify every single location on Terra exactly.”

“We will need to study more on these methods later but I do like teleporting to open sky the first time thou visits a place if thou can be fully certain of the location by thy methods.”

“Not a problem. Humans have centuries of experience using these methods to wander the planet. I want to find out what pony map makers use and maybe swap methods. Right now I want something to eat. Breakfast is gone and I need to replace it.”

“We can have anything brought in.”

“I’ve got a better idea. Have you ever been to Smoky’s?”

“No, Stallion John. I have heard thou speak well of it.”

“I haven’t been able to go out for a while. We can literally glide off of the balcony and land at his front door. We’d make a great looking couple, blue and white wings against the sky.”

“Lead on.”

We went up the stairs and out on the balcony. I spread my wings and give a little push. One sweep and I am floating high above the courtyard. Luna joins me in a few seconds. We glide easily around Canterlot for a few minutes just enjoying the freedom and the sights. The street in front of Smoky’s is crowded so I make a couple of low passes over it and the crowd parts. We glide in and land to the sound of applause.

The crowd opens in front of us as we stroll to the door. Inside ponies are clearing and cleaning the first table in front of the window. I take my time moving that way.

From the back comes a deep voice, “Major John is here?”

A very large Earth pony comes through the kitchen door, does a double take, and bows.

“Your Majesties, welcome to my humble kitchen.”

I smile, “I’ve never known much humble about you, Smoky.”

I turn the flank to him to make it obvious.

“Oh my. Your Majesty John. We hear so many stories we never know what to believe. This is unbelievable in person.”

“Smoky, I’m still the same John and you still owe me some stew. I want three bowls and Princess Luna will take one.”

“Three full bowls, John?”

“Yeh. Just look at me. I’m a growing colt.”

He laughs at that, “And it’s a mighty growth spurt too.”

I call a small bag of coins out of my wizard’s pocket and float it to Smoky.

“I’m sorry I took so long to get this to you. I’ve been kinda busy. I hope the project is doing well.”

“It is and thank you very much for your support.”

Luna is laughing so hard she is staggering.

“What’s got into you?”

“My sweet lovable Stallion John, thou dost not know but Celestia hath been trying to find out where thou goes with these bags of gold coins for months. It frustrates her no end.”

“All she has to do is ask. But please don’t tell her.”

“Oh no. I would never spoil such fun.”

The food is on the table and up to its usual standard.

Luna is enthusiastic, “This is good, Friend John. I may have to get this sent to the Castle.”

“I come here for other reasons too, Luna. The coins feed a lot of hungry ponies. I like Smoky. He was the first pony in Canterlot to accept the strange new alien as a friend. And he talks to John, not the myth.”

I made short work of my three bowls while Luna savored her’s.

“Luna, these are the ponies we guard and judge and keep Equestria for. It fills a great need for them to see us as living ponies every now and then. I’m the Manticore eating alien monster and they bring me their foals. Celestia is the eternal goddess and they bow to her from a safe distance. Think about that.”

“Thou hast great concern over these matters, Friend John. I can see that but I do not understand it.”

“Celestia has gifted me with choices beyond imagination. I know things from my human roots that can both help and hurt many ponies. We disagreed when she told me that I would be expected to replace Blueblood. I know better. I keep my contact with these ponies because they remind me of why I must play Celestia’s game carefully and not fall into traps.”

“Prince John, that be a weight we all carry.’

I had an answer but it went right out the window. Suddenly, I know where Swift is.

“The invitation has just been issued. I know where Swift is. Meet me in your kitchen.”

And I teleported to the very spot that I had chosen for the first time. Luna is nearly a full second behind me.

“I’ll get Celestia. You get Steel and his group. AJ will be bringing Twilight, Cadance, Civil, and Shining. We’ll all meet in the conference room.”

I trot out the side door and down the hall to the Throne Room. Celestia is on the Throne looking bored at pair of lawyer types saying little with many words. She sees me as I approach and motions them to silence.

“It’s time.” is all I say as I continue across the Throne Room and to the door into Celestia’s offices. Celestia is about three seconds behind me.

“What happened?”

“About one minute ago I was eating lunch when the obfuscation on Swift was lifted. She’s west southwest of here somewhere west of Ponyville in the middle of nowhere.”

Twilight and company came storming in the door.

“AJ says Swift is west of Ponyville.”

“I confirm that. Luna will be here with Steel and Guard shortly.”

Luna brought enough Guard officers to pack the room.

I call for order, “Everypony listen. Teleport to AJ’s farm. Use the barn and pasture I started in and stage. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to get Guard and mares ready then I’m going to fly from here. I’ll be there in about fifteen seconds. They’ve never seen a hypersonic Alicorn so the noise and sudden appearance should buy me a few seconds to scout. When I land I’ll trigger Luna’s necklace and all of you can teleport in next to me. From there it will be a conventional challenge with multiple backups. Let’s get the bastard.”

There is some conferencing and horn touches with Twilight and ponies begin to disappear. I call Luna’s necklace out of my pocket and put it on. Luna is watching me as I walk slowly down the hall and up the stairs to the balcony.

I tell her, “You’d better get going or I’ll beat you there.”

On the balcony I look around once then turn up my speed and launch straight up. A couple of good sweeps get me some room then I tuck and kick in thrust. I turn up the thrust until the wind begins to hurt so I put a small conical shield in front of me and kick in more thrust. There is an abrupt bump and everything is silent. I turn up the thrust even more and the landscape is going by at an insane rate. I’m pretty sure I broke some windows in Ponyville.

There is a small farm, just a house and one barn, right where Swift is. I circle once then drop speed until I can spread my wings and glide. I see Blueblood and two unknown Unicorns standing in an open field near the barn. I land fifty yards from Blueblood facing him with the barn behind him.

I shout, “Where are the mares?”

He shouts back, “In the barn.”

My heart agrees with him but I can’t let it be that easy, “Show me.”

He shouts back, “Show yours.”

I reply, “I’ll start mine when you start yours.”

He motions and mares begin coming out of the barn behind him so I grab Luna’s necklace and wish hard for Luna. Ponies begin to pop in all around me.

He’s excited now, “What’s all of this?”

I calmly reply, “Two Seconds, six Mares, and some friends of Dark Sword that intend to pursue a matter of honor with you in the unlikely event that you survive me. By the way, one of my Seconds, Shining Armor, is also a co-stallion of my herd. You’ll have him to deal with before the friends of Dark Sword. I’ll let you walk away with a complete forfeiture and permanent exile if you want to live.”

He is livid, “This isn’t fair!”

I smile, “Of course it isn’t. If this had been a matter of honor I would have been obligated to face you with weapons and limitations that made us equal. You didn’t want that. You wanted mares. So this is about who has the greatest strength and you haven’t seen half of what I can bring to the party.”

I lift and go gliding pony towards Blueblood.

“Last chance. Take the exile or die.”

I turn up my speed and strength and prepare for battle. Then he does the one thing that I hadn’t thought of, he pulls a gun. It is a long barreled one shot weapon designed to be fired by a Unicorn. He calls it from somewhere, aims it at me, and fires. It is so slow that I can see the bullet wobbling off at an angle. I haven’t made to within thirty yards of him so I’m not really worried when he produces another one and another one.

I stop at twenty five yards, throw a five yard spherical shield with him at the center, and continue.

“Don’t make the mistake of firing another of those. You won’t like the result. You have one last chance. I’ll let you go with exile and memory delete for the identity and location of everypony involved in making those.”

I’m memorizing some of the things he’s calling me for future use. He doesn’t seem to be slowing down so I contract the shield by a yard. He just gets louder so I contract it another yard. He’s positively shrill but not slowing down. Fuck it. I turn the shield totally impenetrable and contract it until I can’t contract it any more.

“It’s over folks.”

Steel and Shining are coming at full gallop. Then I notice that the shield is squirming. That should not be possible. It feels cold and disgusting.

“Celestia! I need you RIGHT NOW!”

Pop and she’s here.

“That needs to go into the sun. Can you take it or show me how?”

I feel a touch and I can see the location and a simple variation on teleport. I throw it hard but a tendril trails behind it. I push the tendril after it and release both of them as they begin to burn.

“What the fuck was that?”

Celestia speaks,”That, my great Wizard, was a demon. I thought we had hunted them all down. Maybe we have now.”

“I guess that explains how a mediocre Unicorn can come up with such devious plans. Now where’s Swift?”

Swift is standing there, two yards away.

“John? Is that you?”

“Yep. Some of us had work to do while you were vacationing.”

I step to her and wrapped her in my wings. It’s a long kiss with lots of built in promises.

Swift takes a deep breath, “I could get to like this. Let's keep it up for a while and see.”

I smile, “I’ve got enough span to wrap up the whole band and I’ve found out why winged ponies have the compulsion. I don’t plan to ever go back to human. We do have to go back to Smoky’s. I was eating there with Luna when he lifted the obfuscation on you. We teleported to the Castle in about two seconds. How did you like my entrance?”

Swift is ecstatic, “That was awesome. There’s a giant explosion and hole opens in the sky and you come flying out looking like wrath personified. There were eight Unicorns in the barn that were supposed to bind you with magic while Blueblood killed you. They all teleported out when they saw you coming.”

“Did they keep you with the other mares? And do you have any idea what they are like?”

“They kept us all together. There’s some pretty smart youngsters in the group but most are more about good looks. It’s going to be fun when we go talk to them. Some have been making jokes about my certainty that you would be coming for me.”

“Do any know that Blueblood was a demon?”

“Everypony thought he was just crazy.”

“There’s somepony I want you to meet. You’ll be working together for at least a while.”

We go looking for Civil and find her with the secondary Guard contingent.

“Swift, this is counselor Civil Hassler, former lawyer to the demon. Civil, this is Duchess Captain Swift Trail, the cause of all this madness. Civil, have you made your decision about that job?”

“Your Majesty, I’ve been talking with AJ while we were waiting for the invitation and she’s convinced me, I’d be a complete idiot not to take the job and ask for the whole package.”

“Alright, you’re on the job right now. Swift is the lead for all of the former Blueblood mares. She’s going to organize and sort them. You are in charge of Blueblood’s assets. Find them, list them, manage them. You two will work together to put me in full control of my new herd. Civil, get Swift the resources she needs. Swift, get Civil the ponypower she needs. If none of the mares will do, hire somepony that will. Together, go through current employees and give me recommendations for promotion and termination. This is going to take a while and may never completely end. Civil, get me some bank accounts to pay you a stipend out of until we have an idea what kind of share you are entitled to. And somewhere in all the madness we’ll have a few dates. You understand that the final decision on the ‘full package’ isn’t all mine.”

“Your Majesty, I don’t think anypony will argue with whatever decision you make. I just watched Celestia herself taking orders from you.”

“You don’t understand me, yet. From now on, as long as we aren’t doing something official in public, I’m ‘John’. Celestia didn’t argue with me because these are stallion matters and I’m the stallion. I will follow her orders when the sun is in question. We will negotiate for many things in between, like your exact status. I expect a high level of performance from my mares and I give them the freedom and support they need to achieve it. Right now I have some very serious stallion matters to attend to. Swift, he had guns. Crappy non-functional guns but guns nonetheless.”

Steel and Shining are right where I left them, questioning Blueblood’s seconds. As I walk up to them, I recognize them from the Assayer’s memories.

“Well, hello there amateur miners. I’ve been wanting to meet you. Did you hear the offer I made to the demon? It’s open to you, briefly.”

“You have to let us go. We don’t know anything and you can’t blame seconds for the combatant's actions.”

“I’m not blaming you for anything the demon did. I’m holding you for trial in the death of a Night Guard Captain and the attempted assassination of a member of the Royal Herd. We have all the witnesses and Princesses we need standing right here in plain sight. I can have you tried and sentence executed in ten minutes. Do you know anything yet?”

“We’re not going to tell you anything no matter what you do.”

“You wanna bet? AJ, I need you over here for a minute. AJ is an Earth pony but she has magic way stronger than yours. She is going to tell me if you know anything or not and if she says you do, I will rip it out of your mind.”

“That’s not possible. Earth ponies don’t have magic.”

“Do you have even a clue how stupid you are? I’m an Earth pony. You feel like going a round with me for funsies? Please?”

I lean over him and put on my best ‘you look like lunch’ grin. AJ walks up just in time to catch him losing his piss.

“Not again, John. At least he doesn’t smell as bad as the Minotaur.”

“AJ, put your special focus on him and lets see if we can find out what he knows. Okay, smartass, do you know what those tubes that Blueblood fired at me are?”

It turns out that he really can’t answer. We can infer that he knows something because he can’t deny it and he can’t answer it either one. My best guess is that the demon put some kind of compulsion on him. I’m going to let Twilight study this one for a while.

“Steel, lock them up good and watch them. I’m not going to jump headfirst into demon magic when Swift and Civil may have the answer in a few days anyway.”

Celestia and Luna are standing side by side looking at the mares in the barn. I slip up behind them and wedge my way between them. Before they can react I wrap my wings around them and hug them tight.

“I want to thank you two for backing me. It’s been a real educational experience and I’m sure it isn’t over yet but all I want right now is to go home and enjoy being with the ponies I love for a little while.”