I'm in Equestria, But...

by niightear

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 2125

[HiE] There's just one small problem...

I can’t understand literally any of the ponies. Okay, I can understand Pinkie Pie, but that’s it. It’s very awkward.
And not only that, I have to adjust to being a pegasus. And, therefore, two extra appendages - AKA wings.
This will not turn out well.
Other tag is just for miscellaneous background ponies, the princesses, etcetera.

Published 2019-06-18 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-19 17:30:58 UTC

Chaos Begins

I open my eyes to see what is not my room. At all.
Rather, it’s the sky of Equestria. From My Little Pony.
What happened last night? I was watching the most recent episode and... uh... Yeah I dunno what happened after that.

I manage to get up on my hooves, and I mean, I think it’s ridiculous that I’m not overreacting. To any of this.
I see a pair of blue wings on my flank, alongside blue fur and a blank flank. Am I a filly or..?
Eh. Doesn’t really matter that much I guess. Down a small hill with a path lies Ponyville. Let the chaos begin.

I walk down the hill, awkwardly entering Ponyville.
I soon find a pink earth pony’s face squished into mine.
“Hi!” Pinkie Pie exclaims. “I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”
“My name’s... uh...” I shuffle my hooves awkwardly. “Uh... Ocean Wings... Yeah, Ocean Wings!”
“Well you’re new to Ponyville, right, right!? I mean, I’ve never seen you, so you must be new! I’ll get the welcoming party ready!!” Pinkie Pie hops away, as I just sigh. Aaaaaaand I didn’t say anything to her. She’d probably know exactly what I was talking about! She’s Pinkie Pie for Celestia’s sake!

I sigh, and continue walking through Ponyville. I wonder how hard it’ll be to find work. I mean, it’s Ponyville, it’ll probably be easy. Let’s see, options... Carousel Boutique, Sugarcube Corner, Post Office... Maybe Twilight needs help at her castle? And maybe I could be a teacher? Or maybe help Fluttershy with her animals?!
Cue me squealing like a horse. Everypony stares at me. “Heh heh... Sorry...”

Most of them fly/walk away, but one of them, a gray cross-eyed pegasus, approaches me.
Derpy begins making horse noises.
Uh...
She cocks her head to the left in confusion and worry, before making worried horse noises.
“Sorry, uh...”
I see her mouth ‘Derpy’, and say, “Derpy, but I can’t hear you very well. Maybe we could talk later?”
She nods, before flying away. If only I had my phone, I could post this on Amino or something...

I sigh before walking to Sugarcube Corner. I see Pinkie Pie behind the counter, baking something.
“Uh... Pinkie?” I ask, entering.
“Oh! Ocean Wings! Just on time! I’m almost done making your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ cake!” she pauses. “Do you like cake? If you don’t I can make cupcakes or pies or sorbets or ice cream or -”
“That’s not what I was talking about.” I sigh. “Well I was talking to Derpy a bit ago and I couldn’t understand literally anything she said. It was just horse noises.”
“Well you appeared out of nowhere...” she murmured to herself for a bit, before gasping. “Gasp! Are you a -” she shushed herself, probably so Lyra didn’t hear, “human?”
“Yes.” I say simply.

“Well humans have come to Equestria before,” I cock my head as she sighs, “haven’t you seen all of the Human in Equestria fanfics? Anyways... But they could always understand us.”
“Well I can understand you.” I sigh. “But probably nopony else.”
“Well I can probably explain and just say that you speak Equestrian but don’t understand it so ponies can communicate differently.” she says. “Wait can you read the frosting on this?”
She shows me the cake. I can tell that the lettering reads ‘Welcome to Ponyville Ocean Wings!’, but the letters look different. The w kind of looks like an m, e like a u, but it’s obvious to tell what it reads. “I can, but the letters are different.”
“Well I can help you read Equestrian! You’re a teenage pony anyways so I can just say that you don’t read Equestrian fluently yet!” Pinkie Pie exclaims.
“Aren’t ponies gonna think I’m autistic or something?” I ask.
“This’ Equestria, basically no disabilities exist except Scootaloo’s.” Pinkie says, continuing to set up her party. “Go into my room and I’ll call you down once we’re ready for the par-taaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

So I go up the stairs into her room, sitting on her bed. Where’s Gummy?
I see Rainbow Dash fly by the window, as she skids backwards. Horse noises.
I blink. “Sorry, I don’t understand Equestrian. Pinkie’s downstairs if you need her.”
More horse noises, before she flies into the room and dashes downstairs.

I hear Pinkie Pie’s voice, but I can’t tell what she’s saying. Pinkie Pie’s can hearing thingie from that one episode! Let’s see... where is it when you need it?
I look around for it, before finding it and listening through it.
I faintly hear Pinkie’s voice. “Yeah! That’s Ocean Wings! She’s new to Ponyville! She’s heard about us from the, uh... the news! Yep!”
Horse noises. I mean they’re in Ashleigh Ball’s voice so... Ashleigh Ball horse noises.
“That’s not nice Dashie!” Pinkie scolds.
Ashleigh Ball horse noises.
“If you think she’s a changeling, she’s not.”
Ashleigh Ball horse noises.
“Anyhoo... Wanna help me with her welcome to Ponyville party?”
More Ashleigh Ball horse noises.
“Confetti, balloons, punch and... well... basically just anything that I have for parties!” she exclaims, before going behind the counter. “Ocean Wings, are you spying?!”
“Uh... no?” I call from upstairs.
Ashleigh Ball horse noises.
“Uh... I can speak a variety of languages Dash! Heh heh heh...”

I just sigh and walk around in “my” room, until I hear Pinkie call me down.
“Welcome to Ponyville!” she exclaims, while I just hear horse noises from the others. Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Derpy and a few other background ponies.

After a bit of dancing and playing party games - which were very hard for me since I can’t understand anypony besides Pinkie Pie - we eat the cake. It’s a vanilla cake with blue frosting and chocolate filling. I like it, it tastes good.

Everypony leaves, but I’m left. “Um... Pinkie? Where should I stay overnight?”
“Oh! You can stay upstairs, I have an extra bed!” Pinkie exclaims, hopping up the stairs.
She’s Pinkie Pie, what do you expect? I follow her up the stairs, as she gets a mattress - completely set-up - out of the closet. I collapse on the bed, as I hear her say, “Maybe somepony could teach you how to fly! And the Cutie Mark Crusaders could help you get your cutie mark and!”
“Pinkie, I’m trying to sleep.”
“Oh right. Heh heh...”

Author's Note

Translations for convos:
Derpy:
“What were you squealing about? Gasp! Was it about muffins?! They’re delicious, right?!”
“Are you okay?”
“Derpy! Or Muffins or Ditzy or - oh, yeah, heh heh, bye! :derpytongue2:”
“Welcome to Ponyville!”
Rainbow Dash:
“Where’s Pinkie?”
“Oh. Okay.”
“She’s weird.”
“Sorry. She just seems suspicious.”
“I never said that she was a changeling! She just seems weird. The changelings are reformed anyways.”
“Sure! I’ll get some, uh...”
“If she can’t speak Equestrian, why can she understand you?”
“Welcome to Ponyville!”
Twilight, Rarity, Applejack and the other background ponies:
“Welcome to Ponyville!”
Fluttershy:
“Um... Welcome to Ponyville... I guess... It’s nice to meet you...”

Crusading, Part 1

My eyes open to Pinkie Pie’s room. Should I be happy or not that this isn’t a dream? I can’t understand anypony except Pinkie Pie, but I’m in Equestria so...
Pinkie Pie hops over, carrying some chocolate pancakes. “Here you go!”
After I eat the pancakes she says, “I know you can only understand me but maybe the Crusaders can help you! I’ve already told my friends you can’t understand them so hopefully they’ve told their sisters!”

I nod as she says, “They’ll be here in an hour or two! I’ll tour you around Ponyville while we wait!!”
The two of us exit, as we go to Twilight’s castle.
“Twilight! Ocean Wings wants a tour of Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie exclaims, knocking on the door.
Twilight answers the door and... cue horse noises.
“She can’t understand you, remember Twi?” Pinkie says.

Twilight nods, as she ushers us in. She shows us the books, but I have no idea what they’re called.
She writes something down on a piece of paper. Can you read Equestrian Ocean?
“Kind of...” I say. “But it’s mostly just since it somewhat looks like the language we speak where I’m from.”

So she teaches me how to read. It’s hard since I can’t understand her, but oh well. Pinkie Pie translates some of it for me.
I only now realize that... I have no idea why Pinkie can understand me. Probably cause of her fourth wall breaking ability.
We exit the castle as Twilight bellows horse noises. Probably saying goodbye but oh well.

“Let’s see...” a watch magically appears on Pinkie’s hoof. “It’s 9:00 and there’s about 30 minutes until the CMC will be at Sugarcube Corner! I can probably get some paper so you can communicate.”
“Will I just have to carry a piece of paper and a pen with me wherever I go?” I ask. She shrugs.
“I mean saddlebags are pretty cheap - only about ten bits.” she says, skipping to Sugarcube Corner.
“How much is one bit?” I ask.
“Equivalent to... uh... one... er... dollah?” she pronounces it wrong.
“Dollar.” I emphasize as we enter Sugarcube Corner. We enter her room, as she goes down the slide to her party cave, and I follow down, sliding down bum first.

“Let’s see!” she says, skipping over to the drawers. She grabs a notebook, writing on it in black sharpie “OCEAN WING’S TRANSLATION JOURNAL”. I mean I think that’s what she wrote but I can’t one hundred percent tell. It looks like that. “Here you go! And-” she grabs a pen... from her mane, “here!”

She somehow slide up the slide, as I just confusingly look up.
“Uh... Pinkie!” I call up.

Pinkie gets me up the slide as we hear a knock on the front door. Pinkie Pie bounces over, as I realize that I haven’t seen Mr. or Mrs. Cake the whole time. “Pinkie, where are Mr. and Mrs. Cake?”
“They’re on a trip to Canterlot. They’re showing their desserts off to the princesses!” she exclaims, as she opens the door. “CMC, meet Ocean Wings! Ocean Wings, meet the CMCs!”

Cue, all simultaneously, Madeline Peters, Claire Corlett and Michelle Creber horse noises.
“One sec.” I say, before running upstairs and grabbing my translation notebook. “Write what you’re saying in here please.”
This is awkward. Sweetie Belle hovers the pen, writing in messy hornwriting, Hi Ocean Wings! So... what do you like doing?
Apple Bloom rolls her eyes, as horse noises happen. I blink as she facehoofs before writing in almost illegible... er... mouthwriting? Hoofwriting? I’ll lead ya to the clubhouse! C’mon!
We exit the town, heading down a path as the normal oak and birch trees slowly transition into apple trees.

Climbing up the stairs to the clubhouse, Sweetie Belle hovers a clipboard and my translation notebook writing in the notebook, What do you like to do Ocean?
“Uh...” I think for a second. “Well I like drawing and writing. But what I’m good at is definitely writing. And somewhat drawing.”
The Crusaders talk among themselves for a bit, before Sweetie Belle writes somethings on the clipboard. She hovers it down onto the pedestal thingie that Apple Bloom stands behind sometimes, before writing in the notebook, Well let’s try some things! You wait here while we get Crusading materials!

The Crusaders exit as I just sit. I can’t even do anything - there’s no board games or anything. Then I realize that there’s a stepladder leading up to a small attic. What’s in there?
I climb up them as I find boxes. I look in them to find pictures and photo albums in general. I take one out, seeing pictures of various crusades and ponies they’ve helped. Bulk Biceps, Tender Taps, Bluenote, Gabby, Zipporwhill, Diamond Tiara, Terramar...

Horse noises. I put the album back in the box and go back down the stepladder.
Let’s start! Sweetie Belle writes in my translation notebook.

Author's Note

Twilight:
“Pinkie! Ocean Wings! Come in!”
“This one’s Amazing Spells by Star Swirl the Bearded, this one’s Predictions and Prophecies, this one’s...”
“Bye Ocean Wings! Come whenever you feel! Now let’s see if I can find a translation spell...”
Sweetie Belle:
“Hi Ocean Wings! I’m Sweetie Belle and this’ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo! What do you like to do?!”
Scootaloo:
“Hi Ocean Wings! I’m Scootaloo! These are Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom!”
Apple Bloom:
“Hay! Ah’m Apple Bloom, and these are Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we help ponies get their cutie marks! So what do you like to do?!”
“Let’s save this for the clubhouse Sweetie Belle. C’mon Ocean! Ah’ll lead ya ta the clubhouse!”