*Friendship Not Included

by Liquid Truth

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 38324

The space colony of Equestria provides you with everything* you need to survive in this unforgiving asteroid we call home.

Equestria is a thriving space colony inside an asteroid. Here, everypony is provided with everything they need to live a happy*, healthy**, and fulfilling*** life.

*Friendship not included.
**Oxygen not included.
***Terms and conditions may apply.

Cover art by ZettaiDullahan.
Crossover with Oxygen Not Included, although prior knowledge to the game is not needed to enjoy the story.

Published 2019-09-09 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-20 15:57:29 UTC

Coffee, As Promised

Twilight thought she was dead. Being crushed under half a ton of steel usually did that.

But as she found out, she wasn't. Being able to move her limbs confirmed her living state.

And so, she groggily opened her eyes. At the blurry bright light coming from above and the sounds of soft hummings that suggested a hospital room, she smiled, grateful for the Early Duplicants that had developed the technology needed to save her life.

A blue blob of mane and fur obscured her vision, and her smile evaporated as quickly as she could count basic mathematics. "Mhm . . . Minuette?"

Said blob of blue annoyance broke into a toothy grin. "Twilight! Oh my goodness, I was so worried! I was⁠—"

Twilight glared.

Minuette's smile vanished and she leaned back. "Uhm, Twilight?"

Twilight's glare hardened. "I have a feeling you knew you could've prevented that."

Minuette whimpered. "I-I . . . yes, yes I do. I'm so sorry . . ."

As her mind caught up with her surroundings, Twilight's glare softened as she finally noticed the state her coworker was in. Her mane was disheveled, her eyes bloodshot and threatening to spill again, and her coat stank of sweat, medicine, and grime.

But, most importantly, she was wearing a nursing cap instead of her usual helmet.

"Minuette, have you . . . how long was I out?"

She sniffed. "Five cycles, I think? I dunno."

Twilight's glare came back. "Have you slept during that time?"

"Of course I⁠—"

"Let me rephrase that: How many times have you slept, and for how long?"

Minuette flinched and looked away. "Uhm, it's, uh . . . Hey, Twilight, do you need anything? A cup of coffee or⁠—"

"I do, actually." She put a hoof under Minuette's chin, bringing their eyes to meet. "I need a glass full of your answer, up to the brim and spilling. Spill it, Minuette."

Minuette sighed. "Twice. Two hours each, I think? But hey, you're now back in perfect condition! I promise you⁠—"

"We have protocols, Minuette! You can't just break them, not even when you felt extremely guilty for a failed attempt at an organized murder! What did the Manager say about this?"

Minuette chuckled weakly. "Wow, you're still funny even at times like this, huh?" She glanced back, to where her multitool belt was neatly folded next to Twilight's own. "The Colony Manager was furious when I decided to switch my job, so I decided to ignore her. She sent Redheart shortly after to give me a mouthful, but I persisted. After the first cycle, she gave up and made it official."

Twilight grunted in annoyance and flopped into her bed. "You're such an insufferable mare, you know that?"

Minuette chuckled. "A certain astrophysicist reminded me of that every morning, yes."

"Astronomer," Twilight corrected. "Speaking of which, I'm already fully healed, right? I can go back to the project right away?"

Minuette laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, about that . . ."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Minuette, I swear if you⁠—"

The doors at the far end of the room opened, and in came a white pegasus mare wearing a yellow jumpsuit with tri-colored cotton candy mane tied in a tight ponytail. Celestia smiled at the two mares and waved a greeting wing. She wasn't wearing any hats at the moment, which suggested that she's there purely for a visit.

Twilight gave a squeal of excitement. "Celestia! Oh, I'm so glad to see you!"

As Celestia reached her bed, she gave her a friendly nuzzle. "Hello, Twilight. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great!" She looked to Celestia's side, noticing her saddlebag with her scrolls jutting out. "Oh, right, the project! Sorry for the delay. I promise you the starmaps will still be finished on time."

Celestia frowned and shook her head. "I'm afraid that wouldn't be the case here, my dear student." At Twilight's panicked look, Celestia took out the scrolls from the saddlebag and laid it out, giving Twilight a view of her perfect, undamaged piece of flattened gemstone. "Don't worry, Twilight. Your charts were more protected than you were from the accident."

Twilight sighed in relief. "So, what is it, then?"

"The project has been suspended. It would be—"

"The project was what!?" Twilight shot up from her bed, looking at Celestia right in the eyes. "Why!? Was I not good enough? Is the observatory destroyed? Please tell me it's the former. I'll promise I'll be faster! I—"

Celestia put the tip of her wing to Twilight's muzzle, prompting her to cease her vocal assault. "It is you, Twilight, but not in the way you may think."

Twilight sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. So, what did I do wrong? I promise I'll do anything to fix it."

Celestia opened her mouth to object, but closed it again. She put her wing over her mouth, obscuring her sly grin from Twilight. "Anything?"

Twilight nodded in determination. "Anything at all, Celestia. I promise I'll do it."

Celestia couldn't help, and let out a hearty chuckle. Looking at the ceiling, she said in a playful tone, "Did you hear that, Manager? She promised. Oh, what's that? Oh, right, of course. Right away."

Twilight looked up her mentor with a raised eyebrow. "Uh, Celestia? What did the Manager just say?"

Celestia smiled. "Twilight, tell me what you know about Bristle Acres."

"It's the industrial area, spanning from floor 200 - 250," Twilight answered confidently. "It's where nearly everything in the colony is produced, from our foods and clothes to our refined metal and oxygen. In fact, it hosts the colony's largest and most efficient self-powering oxygen generators, besting the one in Regoville Frontier here by a large margin.

"It also happens to be where the Printing Pod is, which is why it is filled with more young Duplicants in training than most other areas."

Celestia gave her a proud smile. "That's wonderful, Twilight. It's good to see you know your future home very well."

"Of course I—wait, what?"

Celestia reached to her saddlebag, this time producing a grey cap with the words 'Bristle Acres' written in it. "You've been reassigned, Twilight. You're now the supplier for Bristle Acres."

"I—What!? That can't be true!" She glared at the ceiling, her pupils burning with enough fire to forge the half tons of steel that five cycles ago nearly killed her. "What do you think you're doing, Manager!? How stupid are you to put me in a rural area when I can be a lot more useful on the surface!? Why suspend the project for the sake of torturing me? You little insufferable piece of omnipresent consciousness, you think you can do anything just because you could—"

"My dear student," Celestia cut in, draping a wing over Twilight, "will you believe me if I tell you it was my idea?"

Twilight's glare faltered, and the fire behind her eyes was put out as quickly as a candle dipped into a carbon dioxide reservoir. As she spoke, her voice was almost a whisper. "W-what? But why, Celestia?"

Celestia waved her wing around the hospital room they were standing in. "It's clear now that your lack of athleticism is a danger for yourself, Twilight. Especially when you're working on the surface where these kinds of accidents can happen regularly. Assigning you with a courier duty will let you practice your athletics to counter your anemia while keeping you working, which we know you'd prefer than a training quarantine." She looked at Twilight with pleading eyes. "Please, Twilight. As much as this project means to the Manager, your life is more important."

"B-but—"

"Please, Twilight. For me?"

Twilight opened and closed her mouth a few times. Eventually, she sighed in defeat. "Alright, Celestia. I trust your judgment." Then, she looked up at her mentor in determination. "And I promise you, I'll make you proud."

Celestia smiled and nodded in satisfaction. "Good. That means making a few friends when you're there won't be a problem, no?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

Celestia smiled fondly. "It has come to the Manager's attention that you've been actively avoiding social interaction ever since you were printed. A little change in pace wouldn't hurt, would it? Take your time and relax; make some friends while you're there. The project won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

Twilight flopped into her bed and muttered, "Fine, I guess . . ."

Minuette chirped in. "By the way, do you still want that coffee? I can have somepony deliver it to your new room."

"Absolutely."

Shake Well Before Insulting

Twilight sat on her bed as the cycle's start whistle stopped. As she rubbed her eyes, she took a quick glance around her new room.

The room was exactly the same as her old one, the only difference being the hat sitting on the nightstand. It was gray instead of black, made of cloth instead of metal, and was a sign of her incompetence instead of her brilliance.

Twilight eyed the hat and smiled with determination. No matter what others might say, to her, the hat was a sign of her dedication, of her love for the colony. It was given as a sign of a demotion in her career, from being an astronomer to being a supplier, and she didn't mind. If it meant making her mentor proud, she'd do it, no matter the cost.

Twilight fell into a routine and suited up. Just as she finished donning her gofer's hat, a ping! came from her multitool belt, indicating that, just as usual, she missed bath time. Oh, well.

As she opened the door, she was immediately greeted with a familiar, unwelcome scent. Looking up, she found out that the janitor for floor 220 was "Stinky!?"

The Dupe guffawed. "'Fraid not, Miss. Name's Gutterson." He tipped his hat, which read 'Bristle Acres' and continued. "Though, Stinky and I did come from the same blueprint."

Twilight fell to the ground and hid her face beneath her hooves. "Why, Manager, Why!?"

The Manager gave her a playful mental nudge.

Gutterson stepped back and gave her a worried look. "Uh, you okay there, Miss? Can I help?"

Twilight peeked from between her hooves to shoot him—and, by extension, the Manager—a glare. "No, you can't." Standing up, Twilight sighed in defeat and stepped aside. "Well, here you go. Shoo. Go do your thing."

Gutterson let out a chuckle. "Well, you're that kind of pony, huh?" He leaned his broom to his shoulder and offered a hoof. "Well, nice to meet you, Miss . . ."

She ignored the hoof. "Sparkle. It's nice to meet you too, Stinky."

"Gutterson."

"Whatever. You stink the same."

Gutterson laughed as he entered her room and closed the door behind him.

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and looked left. It was a familiar sight, yet at the same time not: an aisle with rows and rows of doors, the first half dozen of which led to bedrooms, while the others led to storages. As she trotted her way toward one of the storage rooms, she saw other ponies coming out from their rooms, stretching their limbs before immediately galloping away.

Correction: they weren't galloping. They were simply trotting with such speed that the anemics would perceive it as a mini rocket launch. Such was the life of couriers, always needed everywhere at once. But, as busy as they were, those who passed by Twilight took their time to slow down and greeted her with a smile and a nod, which she ignored.

After what felt like hours of passively telling ponies that she won't be returning their greetings, she finally reached a pneumatic door marked 'cultivatable soils'. Opening it, she was greeted with rows upon rows of storage compactors.

A speck of prismatic colors in the distance stuck out between the dull brown. Twilight quickly noticed it, mainly because said speck had grown into a full-grown pegasus mare in the split second she blinked. "Finally! What took you so long? I've been waiting for minutes!"

Twilight pushed the courier away from her personal space. "Hemoglobin deficiency."

The rainbow-maned cyan pegasus gave her a blank stare. "What?"

"Anemia. Also, a few minutes doesn't mean anything."

"It means everything!" she answered lividly, scowling and spreading her wings wide.

Twilight took a momentary step back.

Just as fast, her scowl disappeared and turned into a smile. She extended hoof, saying, "I'm Rainbow Dash, Head Courier of Bristle Acres. You've probably heard of me before."

"I did, actually. A few seconds ago."

"What was that last part? Didn't quite get that. Anyway, we're already behind schedule as it is, and since you're new, I'm going to guide you until the cycle ends."

"Yes, I know," Twilight said, nodding. "So, my first assignment is delivering . . ." Twilight checked her mental to-do list again. ". . . dirt to the mealwood farm."

Rainbow nodded, her gray-orange courier's cap bobbing along. "Right. C'mon, let's go!"

Twilight blinked once. When she opened it, a dissipating rainbow blur was the only indication the cyan pegasus was ever there in the first place.

Twilight sighed and counted, "Three . . . two . . . one . . ."

The rainbow blur came back to her vision. "I said, 'COME ON!'"

Twilight flinched at the ringing inside her ears. "Calm down. I haven't even taken the dirt."

After a few minutes of continuous impatient grumblings, Twilight finally finished packing the two hundred kilograms of dirt into her saddlebag, molecularized as to not hinder her movements. Rainbow herself had already carried one and a half tons of bleach stones.

And up the stairs they go, Twilight trotting in slow motion while Rainbow impatiently galloped back and forth and up and down the stairs they're climbing.

As they reached floor 223, Rainbow began galloping in circles around her.

"Will you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Galloping around me."

"Only if you're faster, slowpoke."

And so Rainbow continued galloping around her until they reached floor 240.

Which, to Twilight's delight, was their destination. She plopped into the ground and breathed heavily, and she took the moment to take a quick look around.

To the right of the stairs was a pneumatic door. Through the iron wire mesh, she could see rows upon rows of mealwood plants. A similar door stood in the opposite direction, and through it, she could see rows upon rows of bristle blossoms, lit by the ceiling lamps above them.

The left door opened, and an orange earth pony wearing a red jumpsuit came into view. Seeing Twilight sprawled on the ground, she took her front leg and lifted her up, tipping her hemp-sewn hat with the other hoof. "Howdy, miss," she said in a thick southern accent. "You must be the new courier?"

"Gofer," Twilight corrected and, sensing an incoming hoofshake, quickly pulled her hoof away. "For a while."

Rainbow, somehow already dropping her load at the waterweed marsh at the far end of the aisle, came back with a smile. "Hey, Applejack! Haven't seen you in a while."

Applejack chuckled and offered a hoof bump, which Rainbow delightedly took. "We met yesterday, Dash. But yeah, it's good to see you."

Twilight dropped her load to the floor, which quickly resized into its original two-hundred-kilograms of once-manure. "I'll leave the dirt here if you don't mind?"

"You can leave it here, Sugarcube," answered the farmer. "But don't leave just yet! You gotta try this here's fresh berry, straight from the Acres!"

Twilight, being unceremoniously yanked from her attempt to escape social interactions, grumbled in annoyance. "No, thank you. I have places to be, and 'in your grip' is certainly not on the list."

Applejack looked at Rainbow, which shook her head. She rummaged around her many pockets and, returning her sight toward the Dupe in her iron grip, produced a fresh, unprocessed bristle berry. "Just a single bite, Sugarcube. I insist."

"It's awesome," chirped Rainbow. "Trust me."

Twilight let out a huff. "If this means never needing to greet you again, then fine."

Twilight took the bristle berry from the laughing farmer and shoved it into her mouth.

The farmer looked at her with a smug grin. "So, you like it that much, huh?"

Twilight, definitely, absolutely, positively not grinning goofily and sighing in utter pleasantness of savoring the unmatched taste of a fresh bristle berry straight from its stem, shook her head. "As sweet as death's embrace."

Applejack let out a hearty chuckle, while Rainbow fell to the ground in a giggling fit.

Manager's Log Entries 1

Cycle 0

I've woken up at the target location, but colonization efforts have already hit a hitch. I was supposed to land on the planet's surface but became trapped many kilometers underground instead.

I need to calm down. It's crucial that I succeed in establishing the colony here and begin mounting efforts to escape to the surface.

There are three Duplicants that came with me: a yellow pegasus, a purple unicorn mare, and a blue earth pony stallion. Their bios suggest that they are a builder, a scholar, and a miner respectively. I'll have to make use of their abilities with as much efficiency as possible, lest we die a slow, suffocating death.

Also, have I told you that I found absolutely no means to produce oxygen? Because I found absolutely no means to produce oxygen.

I'm afraid we will fail before I can even try.

Cycle 1

The small breathable air pocket we've found ourselves in proved to be a miracle, as it contains traces of oxylite enough for my Duplicants to breathe. Other than that, we aren't in any immediate danger. I'd estimate three cycles to set up oxygen production before my Duplicant's lives are at risk.

There are pockets of clean water all around us, too. Convenient.

I've also found something truly miraculous yet . . . off. There are algae around us. Lots of them. I can easily synthesize oxygen from them through an oxygen diffuser, and it will sustain us for quite some time before I'll need to find more sustainable means of oxygen production.

But how could organic substances exist on this planet? I get that the flora and fauna came with the colony's seed, but the database suggests that algae weren't part of the colonialization plans.

Cycle 3

I've almost synthesized enough Ooze to print another Duplicant. Once it's ready, all I'll have to do is choose a blueprint.

It'll be helpful to have another helping hoof in the colony, but it'll also mean another mouth to feed and lungs to fill. I'll have to recalculate if it is a wise choice to make.

Of course, I can always print supplies to help my existing Dupes instead. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

Cycle 4

I've decided to print another Duplicant from the Ooze I've synthesized. The bio says that she's pretty fast and has quite the muscle; she'll be useful once I've extended the colony big enough. Not in the meantime, though.

But something about working with the Pod made me feel . . . nostalgic. It gives me a feeling of comfort and passion, yet burdens my mind with restlessness. Sort of like it's something I've been working on for my entire life. While that is literally the case, I'm suspecting the feeling came from my past; maybe the Pod got here because a past version of me failed to establish her colony, forcing her into a Deep Sleep before I got awakened?

Will I end up failing again?

Cycle 7

I hadn't noticed it before, but my Dupes regard the Pod quite fondly whenever they're passing by. Sort of the fondness a foal might have for a parent. I'll be more than happy to fill this role for them, should they desire.

Don't Mine at Downtime

Equestria provided a variety of ways for its Duplicants to move from one floor to another. The first and oldest method of transportation was ladders. In the early days of the colony, these were the most common and reliable means of vertical movement. Over time, however, the Manager slowly replaced them with staircases, which were a lot safer and less exhausting to go through. Some places still used them, of course, mainly the ones where space was a more precious resource than time.

The second and most annoying method of transportation was the elevators. It was implemented in the latter days of the colony and wasn't really a mean of movement so much as a deliberate hindrance for Duplicants to not go to some places.

The third and fastest method of transportation was the transit tubes. These Duplicant-sized hamster tunnels helped ponies reach hundreds of floors in a few seconds, essentially disregarding the massive distance between any point in the asteroid. Its downside, however, was the considerable amount of power they needed to operate. It was for this reason that the tubes were only used for transferring Duplicants rather than their daily mobilities.

The last, most efficient, and fun method of transport was the firepoles. These had existed for almost as long as the colony had, and stayed the most preferable means of transport. It was so preferable to any other method that, if not for its incapability to be as effective going upward, would have replaced the transit tubes altogether. Firepole shafts often covered multiple areas and served as its own megastructure in the colony, Shaft #42 being the most extreme example, connecting Regoville Frontier and Tartarian Moat by going straight from floor 420 to floor -57.

It was at one of these shafts that Twilight descended from the plantation to her next destination. Lightly hugging the metal shaft with three hooves while holding her hat tight with the fourth, she squinted as she read the numbers on the doors that rapidly sped by.

220 . . . 215 . . . 210 . . . 205 . . . and now!

Hugging the firepole tight, Twilight skidded to a halt right in front of the door bearing the number 200.

Rainbow followed right afterward, stopping centimeters before impaling herself into Twilight's horn.

As both stepped into floor 200, Twilight fell in line behind Rainbow, trying her hardest to keep up and not think about the twenty floors she would need to climb back later.

They were trotting in a dug-up tunnel instead of the usual alleyway Twilight's been accustomed to. The walls were rough and made of different kinds of rocks, occasionally decorated with holes which led to new mineshafts. Metal ores and veins occasionally jutted out and cast glints from the faint light of the sparsely-put ceiling lamps. The floor was barely even, slowing them down with the rhythmic stumble and crunch of hooves against sandstone, ingenious rocks, dirt, and phosphorite.

Rainbow led them through the maze-like shafts toward a dead-end tunnel where an excavation was currently in progress. Twilight knew not because she saw it, but because she could hear the sounds of screeching metal echoing across a considerable distance.

". . . and that's how I swept an entire floor clean of debris in ten seconds flat!"

Twilight yawned. "Wow, that's a nice story. If only I have enough care inside me to actually listen to it."

Rainbow huffed. "Tough crowd."

Rainbow soon fell into another story in her attempt to impress the newbie, but, to Twilight's delight, was cut short when the sounds of a working mining gun got too loud for casual conversations.

Reaching the end of the tunnel, the two were greeted with the sight of a white unicorn mare with purple mane and an orange unicorn mare with red-and-yellow mane. The former was wearing a black metallic mining helmet and was currently operating the mining gun while the latter was wearing a familiar orange thinking hat.

The latter noticed them first and her expression jumped into one of surprise upon seeing Twilight. "Twi?" she screamed above the digging noises. "What are you doing here?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Sunset? Since when are you back into geographics?" Shaking her head, she continued, "Well, doesn't matter. And to answer your question, it's none of your business."

Sunset nudged the Dupe behind her, prompting the surroundings to fall into a deafening silence. "What was that again?"

"It's none of your business."

"Huh. I see you haven't changed."

The white unicorn turned around, and Twilight held back a gasp as she saw that the messy, dusty, dirty visage she had expected was instead one of pristine white and meticulously curled purple mane.

"Oh, hello, Rainbow!" the unicorn greeted. "And you, darling! You must be the new gofer." She extended a hoof toward Twilight. "I'm Rarity, Head Miner of Bristle Acres and part-time artist. It's wonderful to meet you."

Twilight ignored the hoof and checked her mental to-do list. "We're here to take . . . iron ores." She looked to Rarity's hooves, beneath which metallic chunks of unrefined iron formed a heap for her stepping ground. She pointed at them and said, "Those. We're here to get those, and we're kinda in a hurry, so if you would step aside?"

Rarity fluttered her eyelashes and stepped forward. "Leaving so soon? Whyever the rush, darling?"

Twilight coughed. "Work. Now, excuse—"

"We're not in a rush," interrupted Rainbow, which winked toward the other pair.

Sunset coughed and stepped back. "Oh, alright. Uhm, I better go and check on iron volcano #2, so, if you don't mind . . ."

Twilight looked at Rarity, then Rainbow, then the galloping form of Sunset, then back at Rainbow. ". . . What's happening?"

Rarity's face turned aghast. "What's happening? Dear, I should be asking you! Whatever happened to your mane?"

Twilight took her hat off and ran a hoof across it, finding that sliding down forty floors had, indeed, ruined it. "Well, it's not that bad—"

"Not that bad!?" Rarity shrieked. "It's horrible! Terrible! It's dreadful! Oh, I cannot possibly let such atrocious mess unfixed!" She pulled out a comb and a brush from her saddlebag.

Twilight took a step back. "I think I'll pass. It's—"

Rainbow blocked her path and held her in a firm grip around her neck.

Twilight gave her a betrayed look.

Rarity gave her a mischievous smile. "Hold still, now. This won't take long, I promise!"

"Manager, help!"

The Manager gave her a playful mental nudge and told her to stay still.

Author's Note

You have a firepole running from top to bottom? I know I do. I can't help it.

Manager's Log Entries 2

Cycle 9

I’ve printed another Duplicant, this one a cook. The electric grill I’ve set up might finally be of use with somepony that actually knows how to make something edible out of it.

I’ve also told her to prioritize on farming, because, apparently, everypony collectively forget about the mealwood that prevents them from dying of starvation. Their growth has been halted for two cycles now, and if the new Duplicant, Bloom, didn’t fertilize them soon, we’re going to need to resort to eating dirt.

Cycle 11

I’ve resorted to feeding my duplicants with processed dirt. I can taste the horrible sludginess of that putrefied mud slop just by telling my Duplicants to eat them. It’s still preferable to starvation, though.

Other than that, the geological scouring spell has finished another scan of the area. By my calculations, I’ve determined that this planet has enough resources to sustain a long-term colony, or even indefinitely with careful planning.

But what surprised me was traces of neutronium and abyssalite, pony-made elements that shouldn’t have occurred naturally. The abyssalite deposits have even made gigantic veins across the planet, segmenting areas into different parts that evolved into their own contrasting biomes and created extreme environments each with their own unique layout.

If all this is past me’s fault, I fear the day I inadvertently make the same mistake again.

Cycle 15

As far as I can tell, we’re hundreds of kilometers below the surface of the planet. Digging our way out may take some time. I need to prioritize on sustaining the lives of my Duplicants before thinking about digging upward.

Which is why, dear Duplicant #0004 “Celly”, should you never forget to empty the outhouses again, lest you let everypony to excrete their wastes straight into our water reserve in their sleep.

Cycle 16

I’m going to need to find a way to sterilize my original water reserve from food poisoning bacteria. The new water reserve I’ve set up has been reinforced so that under no circumstances should anypony be able to contaminate it unless they shat themselves right when they’re using the pitcher pump, which should’ve been impossible given the circumstances. Should.

That being said,

YOU HAD ONE JOB, CELLY!

Cycle 19

Crisis averted, for now. Our fresh harvest of bristle berries finally came, and Bloom’s been rapidly cooking them into something more delicious and nutritious.

I’m tempted to use the microbe musher to process the meal lice we got from the mealwood plants into liceloaf. It will give my Dupes more calories per serving, but it will also use a lot of water to manufacture.

Given our dwindling clean water reserve, the choice is obvious.

Cycle 21

I’ve decided to use the infected water for lavatories since the bacteria inside it won’t really matter.

That’s right, anyone who one day might read this. My dearest researcher, Twily, has finally finished a penultimate design for a plumbed lavatory! Suck on that, Duplicant-who-refused-to-clean-the-toilets!

Speaking of Twily, I’ve noticed that she actively avoids social interactions. The database suggests that it comes from the imperfection of the blueprint itself, not the individual.

That might explain why she’s stressing herself out. I’ll need to find a way to fix her misequinic behavior before she falls into depression.

Cycle 25

My Duplicants have excavated an intact and partly working computer in the swamps. At first, I thought it proved my theory that a past version of me had tried and failed to establish a colony was true. It’s very tempting to blame myself for everything, it seems.

But, as my Dupes inspected further, the computer seemed to have come straight from Alicorn Tech. It was made by ponies.

As in, pony pony, not Duplicant pony.

Are we really on our designated planet?

Cycle 26

Per Twily’s request, I’ve managed to salvage what little remaining data in the computer we found yesterday. I've put the salvaged data in a different folder in the database, should anyone reading this be curious. It contained data from somepony’s email outbox, and Twily’s been ecstatic to read it since we got it.

She was heartbroken when I refused to let her see it, but doesn't comment any further.

On a related note, I think I know who Twily’s blueprint was based on.

From now on, I’m calling her Twilight. She’s quite fond of the name herself.

Author's Note

Anyone who has played ONI for a given amount of time will, inadvertently, forget to clean the outhouses and let their Dupes excrete waste into their fifty tons of previously-clean water.

I still have no idea how to solve that problem.

rbelle@alicorn.tech in:sent

Subject: applejack's youpone

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Darling, you just have to come to the cafeteria for lunch! I've just found out earlier that Applejack's one of those ponies who take videos of their food and uploads them to YouPone. She spent so long taking pictures and videos of it that the food gets cold and she has to ask the cook to heat it up again! It's positively hilarious!

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

Oh, cool. AJ's making a new video on her Apple Tour series? Can't wait until she uploads them! Wonder what kind of apple she's talking about this time. Maybe it's apple fritters? I remember it's on the menu yesterday.

Anyway, sure. I'll see you guys at lunch ;)

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Wait, Twilight, dear, darling, precious, love, you can't possibly be saying that you watched Applejack's videos??

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

I am! She makes quality videos about culinary arts and their nutritional values. You should watch the one about marshmallows, it talks about the perfect degree of burn for optimal meltiness while maintaining its sweet taste.

Oh, and she's nearing five million subs. You should congratulate her when she eventually does!

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Marshmallows. Seriously, darling?

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: stinky stinksss!

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Goodness, darling, have you met the janitor? I swear he's positively radiating stink lines everywhere he goes.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

Aw, don't be so harsh, he's really nice once you get to know him. He probably smells because he works hard all the time, there's a reason he's been here as long as the director herself, you know?

He's also really dependable. Once I accidentally broke my quill and he got a new one in, like, two minutes.

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Ugh, whatever.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

I'm serious! You should give him more credit the next time he tidies up your office. Talk to him when you're passing by, he's quite the jovial friend to talk to, always have something positive to say about every little thing he sees.

I also heard he has quite the dance moves. Maybe you'll consider that for the next gala?

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

How tempting. But no, thank you, Twilight. I'd rather take you as my plus one.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

Haha. Very funny, Rarity. You got me there.

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: whatever could this be?

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Oh Darling guess who just got

<3 ~ INJURED ~ <3

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech
Cc: All

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

EMERGENCY

B011_req_loc_A021
B011_req_auth:tport_A021

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech
Cc: All

From: Admin admin-noreply@alicorn.tech

EMERGENCY

Dr. Belle is at office #A021.

Dr. Sparkle is now authorized for intra-office teleportation to the Management and Maintenance Building.

System Admin
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech
Cc: All

From: Mrs. Inkwell rinkwell@alicorn.tech

The facility would like to remind all personnel of Alicorn Tech to not abuse the function unless a level 2 emergency or above occurs.

In case of lower priority urgency which requires immediate mobility responses, the transit tubes can be overridden per request of security personnel.

Thank you for your attention. We wish you a nice afternoon.

Raven Inkwell
Personnel Coordinator
Alicorn Tech

Subject: What a fine day, isn't it?

To: Dr. Pie ppie@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Good afternoon, Pinkie! How's your day been? I bet it's been very pleasant!

Have you heard about the mysterious case of missing lunches? Oh, yes, it's positively dreadful. Twilight's lunch has been disappearing every day for the past week! Can you imagine that?

Anyway, there are security cameras everywhere and took clear videos of the culprit from every angle, but we can't quite put who they were because all we can see is this puffy pink hair obscuring all her features!

On a totally unrelated note, there's this virus in the system that locks the cupcake quota for anypony with the initials "P.P." to zero and blocks all attempts to send any letter of complaint to the admin.

Don't you find it weird how specific that is? Although, you shouldn't worry. I'll do anything I can to prevent that from happening to you, darling. We both know how much you love cupcakes!

XOXO,
Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Results from Harmony Labs

To: Director Invicta cinvicta@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Director,

Everything went well. Despite her reluctance, [REDACTED] has finally agreed to work with us.

She can begin at your convenience.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: rude

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Our new gofer keeps staring at my flank. You meet her a lot in the Arcane Engineering Dept., right? Can you tell her not to do that please?

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

It’s her eyes, Rarity. She has strabismus. You’re probably making it up.

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

No, not Muffins. I know about her. I was talking about the blue one with rainbow mane. She kept looking at me at lunch! How can you not notice it??

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

That’s Dr. Dash, the newly-appointed Head of Flight and Aerodynamics Department. I thought it’s your job to know about these things?

And yes, she’s single ;)

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Firstly, being a gossip queen is my passion, not my occupation. Secondly, stop trying to be a matchmaker, please? You’re really bad at this.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: I’m sorry

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Dear Twilight,

I am deeply sorry for everything I did yesterday. Please believe me when I say that it’s because of the nature of my work, of our work, that I did what I did. It wasn't my choice to make, and I can’t afford to lose this job. I’m sure you understand.

I know that it will be impossible for us to rekindle our friendship, and I won’t beg. You have all the rights to be upset at me. But please, know that I’m very, very grateful for everything you’ve done to me, including what you did yesterday.

Your remorseful friend,
Rarity Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

Dear Dr. Belle,

I know you are, and for that, I’m relieved. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed that you agreed to do such immoral acts against Sapient Rights.

But don’t you worry, I’m not that evil to report you or Alicorn Tech to the authorities. If anything, it’s so you can pay for your sister’s medications until she recovers. Do extend my regards to Ms. Belle. Tell her that she can have a bright future ahead of her if she stops listening to you.

And while I too am grateful for our friendship, I hope we never meet again.

Sincerely,
Dr. Sparkle

To: Dr. Sparkle tsparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

I certainly will, Twilight. I hope you can find a better job soon.

Say hi to Spike for me, will you? Tell him I wish him luck for his highschool application.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Admin admin-noreply@alicorn.tech

The email account that you tried to reach (tsparkle@alicorn.tech) either does not exist or has been permanently deleted. Please try double-checking the recipient's email address for typos or unnecessary spaces.

For more information, please contact our admin at admin-reply@alicorn.tech or directly visit Dr. Belle at her office in the Information and Statistics Department.

System Admin
Alicorn Tech

WARNING No Lifeguard on Duty

Imagine an elevator.

Now remove the doors, add a pony-sized 40kJ battery by its side, and put a lever interface on the other side. That was what the transit tube access looked like, exactly the same all across the colony.

Twilight Sparkle was standing in front of one such tube access, grumbling and tapping her hoof impatiently at the innocent flooring she's standing on. There was a Dupe between her and the tube access, though, trying (and failing) to engage her in a conversation, so that statement isn't exactly accurate.

Let's try again: Twilight Sparkle was standing in front of a Duplicant that she didn't remember the name of and frankly didn't need to for the lack of interest she gave for the biological lump of manufactured Ooze, which made it safe to say that she's standing in front of a transit tube access point with an insignificant socially-inclined meat popsicle in between.

"Hello? I was talking to you!"

"Oh, is that so? Sorry, I was too busy ignoring you to notice."

The yellow pegasus guffawed, as did Rainbow by her side. It's almost comical to see their similar caps bobbing in synchronicity. "I like you already, newbie!"

"I would like you to refrain from calling me that in the future, Miss."

"And you can call me Spitfire."

"Thank you. I'll try my best to forget it as soon as possible."

Another round of giggles, and a dejected sigh from Twilight. After what felt like forever, Twilight looked up to Spitfire again. "Where is she?"

Spitfire rolled her eyes. "Stuck somewhere in the tubes, probably."

A ding! made the pegasus look back and Twilight to look up. A Rainbow Dash trotted hurriedly toward them with a wrangled slickster on her back and a drowsy look on her face. "Sorry, sorry!" she said drowsily before yawning. "Fell asleep right before the tube access on the other side. Here's the other slickster."

Rainbow Dash took the slickster from her copy and gave it to Twilight, for she was already carrying one previously carried by Spitfire. Twilight took it and immediately trotted away.

Rainbow looked guiltily at the Spitfire. "Sorry, she's kinda impatient."

Spitfire shook her head. "Nah, don't worry about it." A pause, then, "Say, are you narcoleptic?"

"No, why?"

"Oh, just wondering."

Rainbow nodded and adjusted the wrangled critter on her back. "Alright, then. I'd better catch up. We're already behind schedule as it is."

Spitfire tipped her courier hat labeled 'Oil Ravinery'. "See you around, Crash."

Beside her, Crash snapped her head upward. "Bwuh? Wazzat?"

Dash chuckled and tipped her hat labeled 'Bristle Acres'. "See you around, Spitfire." She turned sideways and nodded at Crash. "And you, Crash. Good luck with your sleep schedule."

As Dash trotted away and disappeared behind a corner, Spitfire turned toward Crash. "Say, Crash, do you know what her disability is?"

Rainbow Crash shook her head. "Nah. Why?"

Spitfire looked back toward where Dash disappeared. "No reason, really." She shook her head and sighed. "No reason. Let's get back to Oil Ravinery before you fall asleep."

Rainbow Dash opened the door to the stable on floor 237 with Twilight trailing behind her.

A yellow pegasus mare with an orange-banded rancher's hat greeted them. Or, more accurately, she attempted to greet them both with such little voice that neither heard what she said.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

She shrunk back. Looking through her pink mane, she said in a louder voice, "H-hello. I'm Shy."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I can see that."

Rainbow Dash, somehow already putting away the slickster somewhere somewhen, grabbed the yellow pegasus by the withers and pulled her up, despite her reluctance. "What she meant to say, is, her name is Shy."

"Alright," Twilight said, "Where should I put this thing, Shy?"

Shy pointed one of the doors on the far side of the room while mumbling something.

Twilight nodded and trotted away, leaving Rainbow to have a friendly chat with Shy. As she opened the door, she was greeted with the thick smell of oil and another yellow pegasus with a similar orange-banded rancher's hat.

The yellow pegasus mumbled something.

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. "What was that? Speak louder."

The pegasus shrunk back and mumbled something still incomprehensible.

Twilight rolled her eyes and queued a request to look up the Duplicant's bio to the Manager. A few seconds later, her mind was filled with a load of information about Duplicant #2398 "Flutters". She looked back at the pegasus and put the slickster from her back to the floor. "Here's the other slickster you ordered, Flutters. Have a nice—"

A second later, Twilight stood up stumbling from Flutters' forceful shove and glared. "Hey, what was that for!?"

Flutters, still making silly faces and noises at the slickster, ignored her. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief at the avoided social interaction. Turning around, she was greeted by yet another yellow pegasus with a black-banded rancher's hat. Twilight turned around, finding Flutters already brushing the slickster at the grooming station, and looked back at the picture-perfect copy of said carbon-based blob of shyness and lack of self-confidence.

The yellow pegasus mumbled something.

Twilight sighed. "Let me guess. Your name is Fluttershy?"

The yellow pegasus looked up with wide eyes and a smile. As she spoke, her eyes shone with wonder and the reflected light from the nearby ceiling lamp. "You knew my name?"

"Lucky guess, actually."

Fluttershy shrunk back.

Twilight grunted. "Alright, let's get it over with. What do you need?"

Fluttershy perked up. "Oh! Uhm, you came from Regoville Frontier, right? I don't suppose, Uhm, you know what might be holding back the regolith delivery these last five cycles? The shove voles are getting hungry."

"There was an accident involving meteors and incompetent mechatronic engineers. Regoville's currently repairing a lot of stuff, the bunker doors included, which made the surface inaccessible. It should be done this cycle, though. The regolith should come—"

"Hey, Fluttershy!" Rainbow's voice came from the front door of the stable. "The regolith just came!"

Fluttershy squealed and turned around, finding Rainbow carrying two tonnes of regolith from the courier before. "Finally! Oh, the shove voles are going to love this!"

She turned toward the only airlock door—made of steel—in the stable and called, "Shy, the regolith came! Let the shove voles out!"

The door opened, and a diggie of shove voles (that's the correct collective noun) came out, squeaking happily at the sight of boring gray sand on the floor. Shy came trailed behind them, smiling fondly at the sight of cute, innocent pieces of future dinner munching on their brunch.

Twilight stepped back and trotted toward the front door, at which Rainbow blocked her path and shoved her back inside. "Relax, Twi! We're not in a hurry. Enjoy your time with other Dupes; you'll be meeting them a lot."

Twilight grunted at her failing attempt at pushing herself outside. "That's what I'm afraid of."

After a while, Twilight finally gave up. She walked toward the happy shove voles and sat on her haunches. Rainbow stood next to her, talking about some things involving her almost succeeding in flying one time.

At some point during Twilight's struggle for social ignorance, Shy counted the shove voles out loud and mumbled, "Where's the seventh shove vole?"

Crack

Twilight slowly turned her head toward Rainbow. As they locked eyes, Twilight felt her heart stopped and deliberately stopped her breathing at Rainbow's look of terror.

"Don't move a muscle," Rainbow slowly said, reaching out a hoof. "Hold my hoof and slide carefully. Don't stand up."

Twilight slowly raised her front hoof from the ground, stopping mid-way as a loud creak came from below her. She dared not look down, continuing her effort at taking Rainbow's hoof after no more sound came.

Her breath almost ran out, and she breathed out slowly. She took a deep breath and continued moving her hoof toward Rainbow's own.

Two centimeters more.

Another crack. A silent ode of floor crumbling to dust. A panicked scream of terror. A desperate attempt at finding something to hold on into.

Rainbow held Twilight's hoof in a firm grip, thousands of cycles of carrying tons of materials across Bristle Acres ensured that Twilight would never fall from it.

Twilight squirmed and held Rainbow's hoof like the salt hanging from Dasha saltvines. She looked down below, finding a sea of crude oil and a curious look from a shove vole poking out of the remaining floor beneath her.

Rainbow chuckled. "Heh. That was close—"

The ground beneath Rainbow disappeared. Two ponies clinging to one another fell in a panicked fit, screaming all the way until they splashed to the oil down below.

Twilight immediately closed her eyes and held her breath just before the splash. She slammed head-first into the black surface, ears ringing as she felt her limbs went limp and frigid on reflex. She lost her grip to Rainbow at some point and slowly, surely, hopelessly descended deeper into the abyss.

After what felt like hours, cycles, years, she hit the bottom of the oil pit. Her ears felt like it would burst, and she had to hold back her instinct not to take a deep gulp of air, which is absent in place of the unrefined liquid form of dead primordial animals.

And so, there she sat, waiting for something, anything to happen.

A mental nudge came from the Manager. It felt soothing in a way, like a mother's cradle to her terrified child after meeting a clown, but with less clown and more nagging terror of death by asphyxiation. Nevertheless, it relaxed her muscles, calmed her mind, and allowed her a moment of peace.

The Manager gave her another nudge, this time requesting temporary control over her muscular system. She hesitated for a split second before accepting the request.

She felt her hooves moved on their own, her back hooves standing on the flooring and her front hooves stretching outward. She felt herself jumping, pedaling in a swimming motion, slowly, surely, calmly, upward in a slight angle.

Her lungs burned, eager for oxygen. She thought for sure she'd take a lungful of oil, but it never came. Her chest muscles were kept still, her diaphragm obliging to wait patiently for air. It felt surreal, having her reflexes shut down.

Her hoof met with something solid, and she felt herself gripping it tightly. A hoof. It returned her grip firmer.

She felt herself getting pulled by the hoof, her body lurching upward, slowly accelerating.

She broke the surface. Her own mind immediately shot a neural command to take some air, but it was overridden by the Manager's command to stay still and hold her breath. It was still full of carbon dioxide, she noticed after a thought; she wouldn't want that to be breathed in.

The hoof kept pulling her up. She heard the thumping of hoof against ladders, then a pneumatic door opening. She felt herself getting flung upward and landing gracefully with all four hooves on the mesh tile, making so little noise she could still hear the chitter-chatter of the slicksters around her.

The Manager let go of her temporary control, and Twilight fell and went into a coughing fit, spilling out black, sticky oil all over the place. She took deep breaths of sweet, sweet oxygen and curled into a ball. Three pairs of yellow hooves cradled her and held her in a comforting heap of reassurance that she's not yet dead.

The Manager gave her a worried mental nudge.

Twilight shuddered. "Please don't do that again."

Scrub Duplicant Thoroughly

Twilight rarely took baths. As you've probably noticed, she never took morning baths and only took downtime baths every three cycles or so. She had two reasons for this, the first one being that she didn't need to; as a researcher, working on a sterile environment was more a protocol than an option (the telescope is quite a sensitive instrument). She didn't need to take baths because she hardly got dirty in the first place.

The second one was that she didn't want to. Despite all the luxury Equestria provides, it didn't have a single private washroom. All it had was public washrooms every dozen floors. The washrooms constituted of lavatories built in a long row with the showers directly in front of them and the partitions of the lavatories only there for sanitation purposes, while the partitions for the showers were nowhere to be seen, enabling showering Duplicants to bathe without missing out on their friends. It was for this exact reason that Twilight avoided baths, and not at all at the embarrassment one might get from taking baths together.

No, that wasn't irony. What? Who needs privacy when your reproduction was done by a 3D printer?

The answer to that question would be Twilight Sparkle: she needed the privacy to avoid useless social interactions that did nothing but hinder her efficiency. By her calculations, she would've finished her entire to-do list by now if not for Rainbow, that orange one, that fabulous one, those three carbon copies of shyness incarnate, and this Oxford comma that the narrator insists on using.

By the narrator's calculations, however, she would've only done 33.33% more of her already finished tasks since she didn't calculate how slow she would've been walking if not for Rainbow's constant nagging, and that's not counting how much time she would've spent recovering if Rainbow hadn't been there to pull her up from drowning, by which case she would've done exactly 0% more of her already finished task. How lousily done her calculations were, don't you readers agree? Such a shame for somepony whose entire life revolves around researching and complaining about punctuation marks.

Now shut up, little Dupe. Oxford commas are a preference.

Luckily, Twilight wasn't a thankless Dupe as much as she was a complainful Dupe. She knew when somepony saved her flank and how she owed Rainbow a thank you, if not her life. She wouldn't state that explicitly, of course, for it would make them friends, which would then require her to constantly engage her in social interactions because it would make it Rainbow's legitimate psychological need to keep functioning effectively as a courier.

"I still can't believe you actually made friends with Twilight," came the disbelieving voice of Sunset.

"Nothing is impossible if you're as awesome as me," came the smug voice of Rainbow Dash.

"There is one, actually: being able to count basic mathematics," came the sarcastic voice of Twilight Sparkle.

"Meh. Maths are for losers, anyway."

Sunset laughed. "I'm so proud of you, Twilight."

"Shut up. This psychological bond is completely unintentional and the only reason I'm not cutting it off came from pragmatical thinking."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Which is . . . ?"

"That she's objectively happy to be friends with you, of course!"

Twilight threw the soap—that is, the lump of bleach stone—at Sunset, which she dodged while laughing. "No, it's not!"

Rainbow gave Twilight a playful nudge, re-smearing Twilight's already-clean shoulder with black crude oil. "So what is it, then? Because I'm just that awesome?"

Twilight sighed and cranked the shower faucet back on. "You just . . . you look so happy and smug when I thanked you, okay? Refusing your explicit request to be friends would definitely cause a crater at your pride. Which isn't good for your working efficiency. Which isn't good for the colony's development, seeing as you're the most reliable courier in the entire colony."

Rainbow held a triumphant hoof upward. "Hah! My awesomeness has been confirmed by the colony's smartest pony!"

Twilight took another lump of bleach stone and began scrubbing the black smear on her shoulder. As she did, she mumbled, "Well, that's not entirely true."

"What was that?"

"That's not entirely true," Sunset answered with a grin, ignoring Twilight's glare. "The smartest pony in the colony is The Manager, while the smartest Duplicant being Celestia, the second being Fluttershy, and the third being Yours Truly."

Twilight grumbled, but stopped halfway and raised an eyebrow at Sunset. "Wait, Fluttershy? That yellow ball of self-doubt?"

Rainbow glared at Twilight. "Don't call her that! Don't you know who she is?"

"A yellow ball of self-doubt. No?"

Rainbow sighed. "Even after you lashed out on her for crimes she never did . . ."

"First of all, she was Bristle Acres' Lead Architect. She should've known to use metal tiles, or at least recommend them to the current Lead Architect. Second, it should be her responsibility to ensure those lumps of would-be dinner never leave their stables unless for murder! How could that yellow ball of self-doubt be the second smartest Duplicant in the colony!?"

Sunset chuckled. "Want to tell her, Dash?"

Rainbow grinned. "Heh. Imagine her face when she learned that—"

"That Fluttershy is a Pacifist and a Caregiver," Twilight answered smugly, reading from Fluttershy's mental bio that the multitool belt gave her (ever since the surface incident, The Manager forbids Twilight to ever took her multitool belt off unless she's sleeping). "She's also a yellow ball of self-doubt."

Rainbow gaped. "How did you—"

"She's also 'Incredibly shy and won't comment on anything. Anything but cute animals.'"

Sunset joined Rainbow's gaping. "That's her blueprint's bio! How did you get that!?"

"I ask nicely to The Manager. She's also recorded in the database as Duplicant #0001 "Fluttershy". Anything else you want to know?"

". . ."

". . . Wait for it . . ."

All the atoms in Twilight's eyes exploded in the speed of light. Well, no, not really. They merely bulged and her pupils went pinpricks, as what usually happened to Duplicants who had just realized what they'd said. "She's the First Duplicant!?"

"There you go."

Rainbow guffawed and gave Twilight a noogie. The re-re-smearing of crude oil to her mane would've annoyed her if her mind wasn't still processing that last bit of information. "You should apologize to her, Twi."

". . . Yes, yes I should."

The Manager gave her a playful mental nudge and the fastest path toward the great hall, where Fluttershy currently was.

Author's Note

There's this special connection a Manager has to the last surviving of the three first Duplicants, don't you agree? Turner's just the best.

Not saying that two of this Manager's first three Duplicants died, of course. Killing off characters is just evil.

ajack@alicorn.tech is:important

Subject: Wrong Name

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Dr. Belle, can you change my name in the system, please? It shows Jack as my last name.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

No, darling, I can’t. The system requires everypony to have a last name.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

[CENSORED], are you serious?

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Language, darling. This is an email. It will forever stay recorded in history once you sent it.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Ah’m gonna [CENSORED] use any kind o’ [CENSORED] language ah [CENSORED] want, [CENSORED].

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Darling, let me remind you that it’s my job to censor every foul language you sent. Can you please help me make my job easier? Thank you.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

[DELETED CONTENT]

[REDACTED]
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: New Biometrics Blueprint

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech; view 3 more…

From: Dr. Shy fshy@alicorn.tech

Dear Physics Engineering Department,

I’ve enclosed in this email a copy of the required specifications for the new biometric security system Director Invicta has asked for. We ask that the blueprint be finished within a week.

If you need any further information, you can ask me through this email or by visiting me directly at my office at the Bioengineering Department.

[5 MISSING ATTACHMENTS]

Kindly Yours,
Dr. Shy
Bioengineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Shy fshy@alicorn.tech; view 3 more…

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Flutters, you’re sending us attachments for the spell matrices. This is Arcane Engineering’s job.

And isn’t this too [CENSORED] much? I don’t know [CENSORED] about magic hillbillies, but isn’t a week feel too short, even for Twi?

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech; view 3 more…

From: Dr. Shy fshy@alicorn.tech

I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, it won’t happen again in the future. I’m just forwarding requests from the Director, please don’t be mad at me.

I’m so, so sorry for the short notice.

[27 MISSING ATTACHMENTS]

Kindly Yours,
Dr. Shy
Bioengineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Questionable Spec

To: Dr. Sparkle ssparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Twi, I’m sending you the half-finished blueprints for the new biometrics the director asked.

I want you to tell me honestly what in the [CENSORED] is this?

[2 MISSING ATTACHMENTS]

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle ssparkle@alicorn.tech

I have a feeling we shouldn’t question the director’s requests, Doctor.

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Sparkle ssparkle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

I’m not questioning it, Twi. You know that I know we can’t really back off since we got employed.

I’m just asking you if it is what I think it is.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Sparkle ssparkle@alicorn.tech

Yes, AJ. It is, indeed, a built-in hoof polish.

And before you ask, yes, I know Rarity’s involved in this, and yes, I know she’s doing this just to spite you. I’ll talk to her at lunch.

Dr. Sparkle
Arcane Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Don’t Lie

To: Dr. Pie ppie@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Pinkie, I know you’re stealing Twilight’s lunch.

You could’ve just asked for more in the cafeteria, you know that? My sister will be more than happy to serve double portions.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Pie ppie@alicorn.tech

But the cafeteria doesn’t serve Hayburgers! :,(

Dr. Pie ^c^
Metaphysics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Pie ppie@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Alright. I can’t ask Bloom to serve hayburgers, but I know you like apple pies. How does that sound?

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Pie ppie@alicorn.tech

Aww, AJ I’m so happy! You don’t need to do that! XOXO :D

Dr. Pie ^c^
Metaphysics Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Welcome, New Employee

To: All

From: Mrs. Inkwell rinkwell@alicorn.tech

Attention all Alicorn Tech personnel,

We would like to welcome you to our newest members of the family, [REDACTED], Rainbow Dash, Ph.D., and Sunset Shimmer, M.S.

[REDACTED] will be leading our upcoming genetics project and has been installed as our new Head of Bioengineering Department.

Dr. Dash has been installed in the newly-formed Flight and Aerodynamics Department and will be leading our ongoing arcane propulsion project.

Ms. Shimmer has been installed in the Physics Engineering Department.

Be sure to offer them our warmest welcome.

Raven Inkwell
Personnel Coordinator
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Hello!

To: Ms. Shimmer sshimmer@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Hello, Ms. Shimmer, and welcome to Alicorn Tech Physics Engineering Department!

My name’s Dr. Applejack, but you can call me AJ at any time the director isn’t around. I will be the lead engineer for most of Phys. Engineering projects, which means we will be working together often. I hope we can be the best of partners!

A little tip around the office: don’t be too formal. Most of us here in Alicorn Tech like to goof around, so being friendly is way more important than being respectful. Especially Dr. Pie at Metaphysics.

That being said, the same doesn’t apply in Information and Statistics Department. You should be careful around Dr. Belle. She’s the head of Information and Statistics Department and will test you out every so often. Be cautious.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Ms. Shimmer sshimmer@alicorn.tech

Thank you for the warm welcome, AJ! I’ll make sure to take your advice to heart.

Sunset Shimmer
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: About the new employee

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

The new mare at Physics Engineering, Ms. Shimmer I think her name is, has been quite apprehensive every time I met her. I can tell she’s being on edge about something. Can you talk to her about it?

Or maybe tell her that I’m willing to listen if she has any discomfort in her new workplace. It’s part of the job, after all. Poor dear, she must be really anxious.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Sure thing, Rares.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: Call from IaSD

To: Ms. Shimmer sshimmer@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Dr. Belle contacted me earlier today telling me that she wanted to meet you. What did you do, Sunset?

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Ms. Shimmer sshimmer@alicorn.tech

I didn’t do anything, I swear! Can you tell her that I don’t know what I did wrong? Maybe she’ll understand that I didn’t mean it. Whatever it is, please tell her I’m sorry.

Sunset Shimmer
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Ms. Shimmer sshimmer@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

I’m afraid I can’t, Sunny. Good luck.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Subject: not funny

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Messing around a new employee’s head isn’t quite amusing for my taste, per se. Don’t you know how positively terrified she was when she walked through my door thinking she’s in trouble for something she never did? Oh, of course you don’t. You only think about yourself and your spite for something I’m not even to be blamed with.

Shame on you, you ruffian.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Hypocrite.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Scoundrel.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Attention whore.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

[234 MISSING REPLIES]

Subject: Shut up

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech; Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Mrs. Inkwell rinkwell@alicorn.tech

Can you two please put your bickering outside the company’s system? This is not a formal warning but may the moon [CENSORED] me to [CENSORED] and have [CENSORED] me to the sun and back if I can fire you both for being too spiteful and immature.

Raven Inkwell
Personnel Coordinator
Alicorn Tech

Encryption Level: 3
Deleted data successfully retrieved

Subject: Dr. Sparkle

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

So, you finally did it? How does it feel?

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

You worked on this project too, you know that?

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Yes, and I feel terrible. What I want to know is if you also feel the same.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Who wouldn’t, AJ?

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Wanna go to the bar after work? The drink’s on me.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Your entire bank account will be plunged into oblivion, you know that?

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

I don’t care anymore. I just want to forget that any of these ever happened. Not even your bitchy attitude. Let's just forget about all these shits and let ourselves cry over what we once were.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

Such cheesiness for an Applejack. The world sure is ending.

~ Dr. Belle
Information and Statistics Department
Alicorn Tech

To: Dr. Belle rbelle@alicorn.tech

From: Dr. Jack ajack@alicorn.tech

Actually, it is. And before you ask, I'll tell you all about it at the bar. Yes, it has something to do with the director's stupid ambition and what you just did to Twilight. No, there's nothing we can about it.

Now help the both of us and delete this conversation.

Dr. Applejack
Physics Engineering Department
Alicorn Tech

Carbon Copy

There was a fundamentally funny thing about work. Most Duplicants would know that work was done by sitting beside a thing and doing things upon said thing. Sometimes there are a lot of things to sit beside, and most of the time those things weren't in the same place. It was because of this that Duplicants need to commute.

There was also a fundamentally funny thing about commuting. It was done between work, and thus, by definition, it was not the work itself. Long commute time was a bad thing because that meant that there was a lot of time wasted on not working.

It was because of these two concepts that the third concept was flabbergasting to a lot of Dupes: that the commute itself was the work, and the time in-between commuting was the wasted time on not working.

Twilight had been having a hard time trying to comprehend this. She was a quick learner, luckily, and so it only took her half the cycle to stuck it in her subconscious.

Unluckily, that didn't mean her body had acclimated as well. Her hooves were aching from the nonstop trotting up and down the colony and left to right the floors. Her clothes stank of sweat, grime, and oil at the physical labor (and one accident) she went through. Her body was too fatigued to support the brilliant brain that hosted it.

That had nothing to do, however, with her inability to open the doors to the Great Hall.

"Uh, Twi?"

"Yes, Rainbow?"

"You know how to open the door, right?"

"Of course I do."

". . . Would you like me to give you an example?"

Twilight shot a glare at the Duplicant next to her.

Rainbow returned it with an unamused look and grandiosely gestured at the door with her foreleg.

Twilight sighed. "Alright, alright. I'm being ridiculous, I know."

Sunset stepped from behind her and opened the door herself. "'Annoying' describes it better, actually. Now come on, I'm starving."

Twilight took one step forward, saw a blob of pink mane with a Head Rancher's hat on it in the distance, and took two steps back.

Rainbow grumbled, wrapped her hooves around Twilight's neck, then dragged her like a puppy. With the massive difference in their strength, it was quite easy. Much to Twilight's chagrin.

Sunset casually walked beside her, ignoring the looks they were getting and said, "You've talked to her before, you know? It's not that hard."

"Actually, it is. I couldn't hear half of what she muttered."

"She doesn't bite."

"You never know."

Sunset let loose an exasperated sigh. "What's the big deal anyway? We've even rehearsed this! You're going to say her name . . ."

". . . and then say sorry?"

"Bingo! You've won a gold star."

"But that's the thing!" Twilight said in a panicky voice. "I've never apologized before! I don't know how to apologize for something I'm not at fault for! I'm not qualified for this!"

Sunset was about to say something when Rainbow cut her off. "Then find something you're at fault for!"

Twilight opened her mouth, then quickly closed it. As Rainbow continued to drag her across the Great Hall and the distance between her and a yellow ball of shyness decreased, Twilight began thinking.

As the trio reached Fluttershy who was sitting with her back toward them, Rainbow called, "Hey, Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy let out a small "Eep!" and turned around. As she saw Rainbow, she smiled and said, "Oh, hello, Rainbow!" She saw Sunset and said, "And you, Sunset." She saw Twilight and said, "And you, Twily."

Twilight bit back her objection of a mispronounced name and coughed instead. "Hello, Fluttershy. I'm here to apologize."

Fluttershy blushed and shook her head. "Oh, you don't need to. Everything you said was right."

Twilight nodded. "Of course they are. But it was no excuse to lash out on you like that. Doing so could lower a Duplicant's self-esteem, which in turn would hinder them from achieving what they should've been able to achieve. There are a lot of ways for me to express my thoughts, and I chose the wrong one. My judgment then was clouded, and I failed to notice that. It was part of my incompetence, and for that, I'm sorry."

The Manager gave her an unamused mental nudge.

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the ceiling. "What? It's true."

"See?" Rainbow grinned. "It's not that hard!"

Fluttershy let out a soft chuckle. A beautiful one, Twilight mused, like music to her ears. "Well, you're forgiven, then." She gestured a hoof at the vacancy opposite her. "Would you like to sit with us?"

"I'm fine with myself, thank you very much."

A few seconds later, Twilight sat grumbling at Rainbow's mastery to lift things up, with or without the thing's consent. Rainbow and Sunset, still giggling, soon took their own seats, next to Twilight and Fluttershy respectively. Twilight eyed the pair of seats not yet taken on her and Fluttershy's other sides and sighed in relief. At least there won't be any more Dupes to small-talk to.

In the distance, Twilight saw a familiar farmer and miner walking side-by-side. If her calculations for their trajectories were right (as they should've been, for she was one of the only three ponies qualified for that), they were heading for the vacancies next to her. The wavings of hooves from three of the closest Duplicants from her supported her hypothesis.

She took a calming breath and assessed the situation: She was in the middle of where she didn't want to be, and so she had to find a place where she wanted to be. Simple enough. She formed a plan.

Just as the two ponies filled the final vacancies of the table group, Twilight stood up and told them that she forgot to take her food. She galloped to the food storage one floor down at the carbon dioxide sink, took her food, then gallop back to her room, where she ate her food in blissful loneliness.

Everything went perfectly according to plan but for one tiny detail of none of that happening.

Let's try again.

Just as the two ponies filled the final vacancies of the table group, another Duplicant jumped from seemingly nowhere with seven dishes, ready to be savored and eaten. The first thing Twilight noticed about the Dupe was that she shouldn't be able to balance seven full dishes on a single hoof. The second thing she noticed was that the Dupe was pink with pink mane and tail wearing a light blue jumpsuit. The third thing she noticed was that she was wearing a chef's hat with an orange band. The last thing she noticed was that the Dupe had been talking to her for a whole minute now.

". . . And that's how I know you love Surf 'n Turf and so it is the best Surf 'n Turf you'll ever taste because it is a Surf 'n Turf of your 'WELCOME TO BRISTLE ACRES' Celebration!"

Twilight blinked. Looking down, she blinked again. There was a plate of Surf 'n Turf there, looking really, really good and ready to be gobbled. Her mouth began watering. "Uh . . . Thanks?"

The pink Duplicant grinned, took a seat from a nearby table group, and sat, effectively increasing the capacity of the six-table group to seven ponies. "You're welcome!"

As the other Duplicants started munching happily on their dinners, Twilight decided that she's not really hungry for food. Her curiosity needed to be satiated more than her belly did. Twilight opened her mouth and asked, "How did you do that?"

Which, again, didn't happen, because her first syllable was cut short by the torrent of a dozen other syllables from the pink Dupe. "Hello! My name is Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! But not when Pinkie is around, you know? Because that would be really confusing. Anyways, I'm the Head Chef of Bristle Acres, and I've been waiting too long for The Manager to print another Duplicant with your blueprint, so I'm very happy now that you're working on the same floors as we do! We're going to be best friends and we're going to be dancing together on the dance floor and you're going to embarrass yourself in front of everypony but that won't matter because—"

Twilight sighed in relief as Rainbow put her hoof down. "Easy there, Pinkie. You're giving her an aneurysm."

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. "You know what that meant?"

Rainbow took a bite off of her barbeque and said as she swallowed, "Of course not."

Twilight waved her hoof around, gaining their attention. "All right, first of all, that's nice of you to introduce yourself, Pinkie. But I'm afraid I'm not here to make friends."

Pinkie pouted. "Why not?"

"I'm here to practice my athleticism. Nothing more, nothing less."

Pinkie gulped down the rest of her frost burger and stared blankly. "What?"

Twilight coughed. "I repeat, I'm here to practice my athleticism. Nothing more, nothing less."

Pinkie shook her head. "But you can still have friends, right?"

"Of course I can." Twilight took a bite from the delicious fish-beef meat. As she sighed in satisfaction, she continued, "But it's not mandatory. More than that, the time I'm currently wasting talking to you all could've been spent more productively if I brought my starmap along and worked on it."

"But what about friends!?" Pinkie flailed her hooves wildly. "It's terrible! Who told you you don't need friends!?"

"I do." Twilight took another bite and gulped it down. "The imperfection in my blueprint actually gave me an advantage, instead of a hindrance like a certain omnipresent consciousness think." Another bite. "It lets me and, by extension, anypony printed from my blueprint to exist without needing friends."

"That's not true."

All heads turned toward Fluttershy. As she lifted her head from her food and met Twilight's gaze, Twilight felt her entire body weakened just from the sheer magnitude of willpower she generated. "You know that better than anypony else."

Twilight swallowed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Fluttershy cocked her head. "Really, now?"

Twilight grumbled loudly and threw her hooves upward. "Fine! No, I still need to have some sort of social life to lift my morale up, but it's hard. Really hard, because the imperfection of my blueprint was an incomplete Empathy Module that almost entirely disables me from knowing how others feel. There, you happy!?"

Fluttershy nodded. "And what have you done to fix it?"

"Nothing," Twilight said with a smug grin. "From my perspective, it can be used as an advantage. It enables me to focus on my works instead of other's feelings, making me tenfold more productive than the rest of you combined. Which I was, by the way, until I got assigned here."

Fluttershy looked down at her forgotten food. "That's not what you said before."

"I've never talked to you before."

"No." Fluttershy looked back up, now looking at Twilight with a hint of . . . disappointment? "Twily did."

Twilight looked around and cocked an eyebrow. "Who? Another me?"

Fluttershy stood up and gestured with her head. "Want to meet her?"

"No, thank you."

The Manager gave her a mental nudge and a command to follow Fluttershy.

Twilight grumbled. "Fine."

When one would ask a Duplicant where a particular area was on the colony, they'd give you a number range of the floors assigned to that area. If one hadn't been on the colony before, this could be very confusing because those number ranges weren't exactly true, since a single horizontal plane can be divided into several areas. Which is to say that areas were also divided horizontally, mostly by their biomes and functions.

The Quagland Morass, for example, was a tiny chunk of an area encompassing a single Swamp Biome right next to Bristle Acres. A small, unnoticed speck on the map. Its only purpose was as a place to refine and disinfect polluted oxygen that came from the marshes and slime pockets in it. Or, as Twilight put it, A really huge and slow oxygen generator.

"She lives here? How miserable."

Fluttershy kept on walking through the quagmire, her hoofsteps slow yet deliberate. Not because she was confident, but because of the terrain. Twilight herself was trudging behind her with her gloves thoroughly covered in dried mud.

All around them, the barely-lit hallways gave an oppressing atmosphere, while the low ceiling gave an eerie feel. The cold air sent a chill down Twilight's spine. The silence reminded Twilight of the Surface, but without the beautiful stars above, it made her feel more lonely and somber.

As they kept on walking, they eventually met rows upon rows of rectangular slabs of granite. "So . . . this is the graveyard? She's a warden? Or does she work on oxygen generation, and this is just a coincidence?"

Fluttershy kept on walking forward, sometimes stopping at a gravestone before continuing.

They eventually reached a small circular depression, the ground underneath them giving way to granite tiling. In the center of the depression was a pool of crystal-clear water surrounding a single memorial stone.

Twilight saw her name on it.

Fluttershy sat at the edge of the pool. With a smile, she gestured at Twilight to sit next to her.

Twilight walked and stood next to her. Instead of sitting down, she stared at the memorial in disbelieve, her mouth trying to form words that died on her throat. "I . . . died?"

Fluttershy let out a sorrowful sigh. "She was biohazardous. We didn't know that she could get sick that badly, not even The Manager."

Twilight slowly sat down and stared at the water, clear enough that she couldn't see her reflection. She turned her head toward Fluttershy and asked, "Why did you bring me here?"

"Your statement earlier. Why don't you want to fix yourself?"

"Well—"

"Be honest, for once."

Twilight let out a sigh. "It's impossible. It would take too much dedication and work just so I could know what others feel. Not worth the try, and so I decided to ignore it. It worked well so far."

Fluttershy took off one of her dirty gloves, exposing a delicate yellow hoof beneath. She reached out and put a gentle touch to the water, sending a ripple through the pool. As Twilight watched the small propagating waves, she found that she could see her reflection on them, albeit a little blurry.

"And, well, I don't like failing." Twilight scowled at her blurry reflection. "It's not failing if you don't even try, right? Besides, it's not like it hinders me from working. It just . . ."

". . . keeps you from making friends?"

Twilight's shoulders sagged. "And that makes Celestia sad. I don't want her to be sad. I owe her so much, yet I couldn't grant her one simple wish that I'd talk to others more often."

"Why did you give up, then?"

"I saw another way to make her proud. To be so good at what I do that it overshadows my incompetence."

Fluttershy sighed and closed her eyes. "That's not how it works, Twilight."

"I can dream."

"But you'll never accomplish it." Fluttershy opened her eyes and looked up, reading the inscription on the stone. "You're just like her, you know? You look like her, talk like her, even your attitude mimics her perfectly."

". . . but?"

"But," Fluttershy said slowly, "you think differently. She never gave up. At downtime, she would watch us from a distance and took notes of how we interact with one another. She'd secretly take glances when we weren't looking and eavesdrop on our conversations while working. Even when she fell sick, she still took notes on Celestia's behavior while she nursed her." She giggled. "It was so scientific that I thought she was observing the hatches."

"In the end, she failed."

"In a way, she hasn't." She put her hoof on the six-pointed star inscription. "She said, 'I can't fail if I haven't given up.'"

"But she's dead. That's another way to fail."

Fluttershy shook her head and pointed at the epitaph underneath Twilight's name.

Never another like her. Until we print another like her.

Twilight stared.

"You are her, in a way. Don't you agree?"

"So I'm no more than a dying Duplicant's final desperate attempt to not fail at an arbitrary task?"

"Take it one step further and we're no more than biological engines created in our dying ancestors' final desperate attempt to not go extinct."

Twilight giggled. "That's my line."

Fluttershy smiled. "It was."

Twilight stared back at the water and frowned. "But . . . how do I do it? I don't even have a frame of reference at how Friendship works!"

Fluttershy draped a wing around her, ignoring Twilight's protests. "We can help. We're your friends."

Twilight stared at her unamusedly. "Just like that? Really?"

"Why not?"

Twilight opened her mouth, then closed it. "You know, it actually makes me a little upset to know you're more competent than I thought."

Fluttershy giggled. "Well, you'd better get used to it. How much have you assumed from our friends up there?"

"You're the First Duplicant. They're just a bunch of clowns."

Fluttershy gave her a sly smile.

Twilight opened her mouth and quickly closed it. She queued a few requests to the Manager and gulped as she received their bios:

Duplicant #0005 "Rainbow Dash"
Duplicant #0007 "Applejack"
Duplicant #0008 "Rarity"
Duplicant #0006 "Sunset Shimmer"
Duplicant #0012 "Pinkie Pie"

"Remember, Twilight: Bristle Acres is a training ground. The Manager only picks the best of the best to handle everything around here so that new Duplicants can grow into the best they can be." She gave her a warm smile. "And now, you're our newest student. We're going to help you, but only if you let us."

Twilight let out a sigh. "Alright, I guess." She looked at Fluttershy and frowned. "Where do we start, then? How do I learn how to empathize?"

"You can start by not being a jerk to everypony you meet."

Twilight snorted and let out a hearty laugh.

Fluttershy smiled and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Lesson number one: Kindness."

Personal Journal - B125

Encryption Level: 5

September 21, 2236

Today is my first day working at Alicorn Tech. I’m really nervous. The head of the department I’m working on, Dr. Applejack, seemed quite friendly. She gave me a few tips of dos and don’ts of the office after greeting me via email.

I really hope I can fit in. This job means everything to me.

September 22, 2236

Everypony’s calling me Ms. Shimmer and it’s the worst. Everypony else has had their PhDs. I’m working with professionals! Absolute prodigies at what they’re doing! What was I thinking? Of course I won’t fit in. It’s written all over the place! Dr. Belle even gave me curious looks at lunch. How long would it be until I got fired?

September 24, 2236

I messed up. I screwed up so badly today. How many of these ponies laughed at me when I misplaced that decimal? Oh, goodness. God, if you exist, please let the Director give me a second chance.

September 25, 2236

The Head of Arcane Engineering, Dr. Sparkle, visited me personally at my office today. I thought I was in trouble for yesterday, but it turns out she only asked me to join her at lunch.

She then told me that I’m overthinking my mistakes. It makes a lot more sense now that I think about it. I feel foolish now for making such a fuss about yesterday. Ha! I should really work on my self-doubt. There’s no way I’m keeping my job if I kept getting anxious.

September 30, 2236

Dr. Sparkle has been quite enjoyable. For the last five days, we’ve been sitting together at the cafeteria and talked about random stuff that has nothing to do with our jobs. I think I made a friend! One of the higher-ups, even.

No, bad Shimmer! She’s been friendly and very helpful with my anxiety, I shouldn’t make use of her. Or anypony, for that matter. Keep your bad habits in check, little Shimmy.

November 5, 2236

This isn’t lunch yet, but I don’t know if I can still have my personal journal after this. AJ told me that Dr. Belle wanted to see me for some reason. I think I’m in really big trouble.

But what is it? Was it something I said? Maybe I’m not helping the project enough. Or maybe she thought I was sweet-talking my way with Dr. Sparkle? Oh, I hope it’s not that last one. I genuinely hope we can be friends! I didn’t intend to make her like me, and oh, I don’t know I can’t even form words right right now. God, I hope you exist, because i’m now praying that you dont take away my job please dont’

November 5, 2236

It was a prank. Dr. Belle never was somepony I should be wary about. She’s just concerned I’m giving her apprehensive looks.

Well, how couldn’t I? AJ told me that Dr. Belle secretly takes tests on new employees to see if they are qualified for the job. Dr. Sparkle then told me that the fact I’m inside the facility is enough proof that I am.

Apparently, there’s an ongoing war of spite between Dr. Belle and AJ and I’m simply unfortunate enough to be caught in the crossfire. It’s amusing to recall that now, at least. It made me remember the spiteful times at high school.

November 10, 2236

I’ve just noticed that the biometrics have built-in hoof polishers. I asked Twilight about it and she answered with “Rarity”. Apparently that’s another byproduct of their bickering. I wonder how many things in the facility exist because of the same reason?

November 20, 2236

The blueprint for the Mining Gun is finally finished! That took a lot faster than I first thought. Twilight was also impressed. AJ . . . not so much. Well, at least she’s not upset about it. I wonder what made her dissatisfied? Was it the blueprint? Well, only one way to find out!

No, not asking her. Making a prototype and testing it, of course!

November 23, 2236

The Mining Gun prototype worked, but only barely. The moment I saw the finished product, I instantly noticed the many mistakes I made in the blueprint. No wonder AJ’s not impressed. I need to fix it and fast before she berates me any further.

Well, alright, she hasn’t berated me in the slightest, but that’s always a given for anypony in charge when their subordinates don’t do as they’re expected to.

December 6, 2236

The blueprint for the second mining gun is almost complete. When it does, I’m going to recheck and then recheck and then recheck again for any mistakes. I can’t afford any more mistakes after my first failure.

December 12, 2236

I can’t believe it. How can I miss that? That was a simple friggin aspect that I should’ve thought about! I’m such an idiot! I don’t know what AJ thinks after seeing my prototype goof off, but I don’t think I want to know. I haven’t met her all day and I think I made a smart choice. I don’t think I’d be able to think straight if she ever lashes out on me.

Don’t get me wrong, AJ is very down-to-earth and friendly, but I don’t think she’s very sensitive to criticizing others’ works.

That sentence implies that I can take any kind of criticism at all, which is kind of a lie.

December 25, 2236

Mining gun 3 almost complete. Haven’t slept for days or is it weeks i have no idea. Tired but i have to get this right

December 27, 2236

Nearing completion. Revision again before prototyping remember dont build a prototpy even if i think it aredy prefect

December 30, 2236

Evrypont left fr holiday. Cant leaf project no doe yet. Tiwlght annoyng

December 31, 2236

Some omer revis i ser just a lil bit more there are going to be happy and mining gun some mistake not sleep i cant lev no twilight here sh noisy at door i need ot fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

January 5, 2237

Three weeks. For almost 3 weeks straight I’ve been working at the facility with minimum sleep and didn’t go back to my apartment at all. Thinking back it was so, so foolish of me. The only reason I got out of the office at all was because Twilight knocked me out with tranquilizer back on New Year’s Eve. Ketamine and all.

I slept for twenty hours before waking up still sleepy on New Year, and my mind hadn’t recovered enough to do anything but devour the food that Twilight gave me and relieve myself. And then I slept for twelve hours more waking up like I’d gotten the world’s worst case of hangover.

I felt really guilty right now. Seeing Twilight’s face by my side every time I woke up, all worried and anxious, almost made me cry every time. Okay, so I did cry. I cried a lot and apologized a lot. Twilight is a friend I’m eternally grateful for having and I won’t trade her for any kind of utopian world you have in your mind, not even the entirety of heaven and the power of an Alicorn God.

Remember this, Shimmy, to never overwork yourself. Also try to get over your fear of failure.

January 22, 2237

I’ve taken Twilight’s advice to not hurry on the project, and I think I’ve done a much better job at it than ever. I’ve also talked to AJ and the rest of Phys. Engineering Dept. team about it, many of which pointed out things that I’ve missed. If only I’ve done this a lot sooner.

January 25, 2237

Mining Gun 3.0 worked perfectly. Even the director is impressed! Twilight, I owe you so much.

January 30, 2237

The Mining GunTM was launched early today and demands have already flooded! The director was so pleased that she offered me to work on one of our top secret projects!

I take back what I said. Twilight, I owe you my life.

February 13, 2237

Tomorrow’s Hearts and Hooves day and I have nopony to spend it with. Again. Twilight offered to celebrate with her family but I refused. I reasoned she should spend it as much with a family she scarcely sees over a friend she barely knows. She persisted, but luckily her iron will’s no match for my steel one. Ha!

I don’t know if I should be proud of my stubbornness. AJ will, I bet. Anyway, Twilight eventually gave up and suggested that I spend it with our janitor instead. The old stallion, Stinky I think his name is.

Well, she offered that as a joke before suggesting AJ and many other co-workers of ours, but he was the most intriguing. I heard he has quite the dance moves. We’ll know the truth behind that tomorrow night.

Hey, I like randomness. Also dancing. I consider myself a good dancer.

February 15, 2237

I’m out of words. I’m a little exhausted from the party tonight but dang. Stinky Gutterson is the best dancer in all of Equestria, if not the universe. I took him to the club just a couple of blocks away and nopony believed that he’s almost seventy. An old stallion like him wouldn’t know any dances other than waltz, right?

Wrong. He can breakdance. He can rave. He can do disco. He can do backflips. He can split. He brought back SWING DANCE on a RAVE FLOOR and I still don’t know how he did that when nopony knew what it was. If I listed it all down here I’d reach the ten-thousand word limit and barely touched half of it.

Later when we had exhausted ourselves he told me that he had been all for dancing when he was younger. His cutie mark isn’t a broom sweeping through the floor; it’s a representation of Celestial Coast Swing. He was there when The Rollers first danced with roller skates. He was there when Vanhoover Splits won the throne to Vanhoover’s dance floors. He was there to swing at the Fillydelphia Grand Swing Dance-Off. He didn’t just experience musical evolution, he studied, lived and danced them. And he admitted that that was what made him had no choice but to work as a janitor: mere dancing couldn’t feed his family, especially when rave took over (rave was and is an industry for the DJs, not the dancers).

Such a shame that his talent doesn’t go beyond rumors. I wonder how Twilight would react.

February 15, 2237

Should’ve brought a camera.

[1 MISSING ATTACHMENT]

February 29, 2237

I’m suddenly acutely aware of why AJ once said, “Never question the director’s orders.” Well, I have a job to keep. No turning back now.

March 5, 2237

My project has led me to meet a fellow employee I don’t even know existed: Dr. Shy. She was the Head of Bioengineering before I came in and her position got replaced by . . . Dr. Cellin(?) I dunno, I think that’s actually her first name.

Anyway, Dr. Shy is apparently so shy that I thought she was Dr. Michelin’s (or whatever I forgot) daughter visiting. She’s actually older than me, around Twilight’s age.

And, glimpsing through her work, I think she better suits the title “Mad Scientist” than Pinkie.

I mean, a chimaera-dragon-goat thingy is pretty high on my list of weird-things-to-forget-about.

March 18, 2237

A biological 3D printer. Huh. Y’know, when you told me a year ago that I’d be working on a blueprint for a grocery printer, I’d laugh and dance you into humiliation. I just couldn’t get it into my head why this thing is classified. Tomorrow we’ll be making the prototype and hopefully Bioengineering will let me see the result.

March 22, 2237

Be careful what you ask for. Stinky told me that Bioengineering has been experimenting on printing living beings out of my machine. I don’t know if that’s an accomplishment or a ticket to hell. Welp, good as time as any to be an atheist.

Also, I’ve just noticed that Stinky probably knows a lot more (and I mean a lot more) about the dark side of the facility than the director herself. Good thing he’s on my side.

March 23, 2237

A brain scanner.

Everypony knows Scan + Print = Photocopy.

Director Celly, if you don’t want me to know that you’re trying to print clones, you shouldn’t have, y’know, put me on every top secret project on the company.

April 3, 2237

“Neural Vacillator” because yeah, you don’t want to sit on a “Brain Scanner” and be turned into a zombie. Whatever, at least they’ll let me test the prototype.

Wait, does that mean they’ll try to print a clone-me? That’s . . . actually kinda cool.

April 5, 2237

Oh my God, look at this cutie! Clone-me looks just like me but smaller! She’s almost a head shorter than me!

Other than that, she looks like a picture-perfect copy of me. Oh, and that she can’t speak other than gibberish squeaking. And she’s full of life and hope and happiness, unlike me.

God, I’m pathetic.

[5 MISSING ATTACHMENTS]

April 7, 2237

Pathetic, but a pathetic pony that can make a printer that works as one intends it to. It’s probably a better achievement than the fact that said printer spits out sapient beings willy-nilly.

On a side note, clone-me doesn’t have my memories other than muscle memory and instinctual behaviour. I’m weirdly happy to learn that she can moonwalk just as gracefully as I can. Lil' guy's smooth.

[1 MISSING ATTACHMENT]

April 10, 2237

This one’s not one of the top secret projects, but it sounds more ridiculous than “Twilight can dance to funk”: An energy generator that runs on time.

No, not as in punctual, but as in uses time as fuel. The director gave me some foundation for the research but I know it’s merely a pipe dream. I told her that and she replied that she knew, but it’d be neat if I can make it come true.

Dang, the old mare’s quite poetic.

April 20, 2237

A cranial chip implant so we can move clone-me with a joystick. Oh, the wonders of crossing the moral horizon so far out that I made orbit.

April 28, 2237

I’m out of every project now, even the Anti Entropy Thermo-Nullifier that I’m so close to finishing. The director wants me to focus on the Time Generator. Whatever it’s called, anyway. Project Time Arrow, I think.

And it’s a wise move, I think. Alamaneia almost made war with us for their lack of oil. If I can make this work, I’m going to save the world.

I shouldn’t have said that. Now it looks twenty times more important and anxiety-inducing.

May 3, 2237

Dr. Invicta (that's the Michelin mare I wrongly named before, her name's Selena Lulamoon Invicta), in trying to prank her sister, somehow managed to redact herself from the entirety of Alicorn Tech.'s database. AJ couldn't stop laughing at Dr. Belle's constant shrieking.

To quote the majestic proclamation of the mare herself: "I have, quite possibly, unpersoned myself."

June 2, 2237

I’ve been busy for a while now. I think I won’t be meeting you as often, Diary. Sorry.

August 6, 2237

I think I did it. Free Energy.

I couldn’t believe it myself. God, I think you’re real.

August 14, 2237

I have nothing to say but yes, I’ve saved the world. I saved the world of her energy crisis and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Also a handsome amount of bits and an honorary doctorate, but that’s just the bonuses.

Some of my friends were flabbergasted when I told them I don’t charge any royalty for my patent. Well, duh. It’s Free Energy.

August 17, 2237

Too bad my invention is unable to be too large in size. We found out today that a large enough Time Arrow Generator would create a basically impenetrable substance we’ve named neutronium. Which means an infinite battery for your phone yes, a generator for an entire research facility no-no.

The substance was actually so impenetrable and dense that it has a noticeable gravitational field. AJ took advantage of this and turned on our prototype generator right below Dr. Belle's weighing scale, making her permanently 0.015% heavier than she actually is.

What surprised me most is that the prank actually worked.

September 12, 2237

I’m back on working hush-hush stuff with Bioengineering. This time it involved Metaphysics and Arcane Engineering, too. I wonder what it is.

September 20, 2237

With how little my involvement in this project is, I don’t know if we’re trying to create an eldritch abomination or a sapient microwave. I don’t like not knowing, but I guess it comes with the job.

September 30, 2237

This project is taking exceedingly long. Apparently they’re trying to modify the neural vacillator for something or another. Probably those fancy mane treatment devices.

October 2, 2237

It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I should’ve known what I was making, and Twilight got the end of it. Every time she told me it’s not my fault it made me want to kill myself, but remembered that it’ll probably make her suffer more than she already has.

Celestia, I hate you so much. You and your fucking greed.

October 3, 2237

AJ drank herself to death. The police found her body under dozens of jerry cans of what’s possibly 90% alcohol. After knowing what the director’s really for, I can’t blame her. She’s the one who had kept the secret the longest, after all. Twilight’s accident just gave her a reason to do it.

Yesterday at the bar she had told us “in the know” a stupid plan to stop it all and prevent the white pegasus bitch from, apparently, godhood. It actually is a stupid plan, Luna even laughed at it. But it’s a plan that can work.

Well, "work" is a generous description. If we succeed, it's suicide. If we fail, it's omnicide. And quite possibly rip a chunk of the planet off.

I’ll need to talk to the others before making a decision.

Deleted data successfully retrieved

October 3, 2237

I know you’re secretly spying on this journal, Dr. Belle, so let me tell you that I’m all for it. Dash, Shy, Pinke and Luna are too. Meet us at The Room at lunch break.

Safety Third

Safety First, The Manager said. No Dupe ever listened to it. No amount of effort and nonexistent headbanging from her part could persuade the Dupes to reprioritize their standard operating procedure: Get things done first, breath second, safety third.

In The Manager’s professional opinion, whoever wrote this into every single blueprint had either been an absolute prophet or a complete idiot. It was a brilliant foresight because it’s the only reason her Dupes would ever do any of the ridiculous things she told them to do, like digging right underneath them to make themselves fall or manually opening the door to a magma overflow. It was stupid because it’s the only reason she ever needed to make Dupes dig underneath themselves or manually open the door to a magma overflow.

Alas, there was nothing she could do. So, she instead embraced and made the most out of it. Have fun with it, even.

When Twilight heard the story, she decided that some exaggeration was made. She had once dug straight down and fell into a water tank, sure, but she couldn’t fathom why somepony would build a door to regulate magma flow.

“It’s just down there, you see it?” said Spitfire as she pointed down the cave-like passageway.

Twilight shook her head. “But why a door?”

“What else would you use?”

Twilight was inside a spacesuit again, but this time way down instead of way up. A lump of igneous rock stood next to her, waiting to be delivered back to Bristle Acres to be fed to the hungry hatches.

But first, door.

Twilight jumped down the rough one-meter high stairs, slowly but surely closing the distance between her and an enclosed chamber of molten rock. The neutronium ground underneath her doesn’t give any noise as she stepped on it. This deep inside the asteroid, she could feel its gravitational pull more heavily than on any other level. She wondered briefly if there really were other things below the asteroid’s neutronium core, or maybe it’s back to outer space right on the other side.

But first, door.

Twilight stood by a large automation switch, five meters away from the door it automated. She hit the switch, opening the door and letting magma to flow out into a gap right in front of it. She could see the air greatly distort from the heat and hear the sizzling sounds of crude oil from underneath, slowly boiling into petroleum and sour gas on the other end of the airlock right underneath her. In her mind, she could make out the layout of the structure and see precisely how the magma was flowing.

There was too much magma. The structure couldn’t pump out enough petrol out before more magma came in. Twilight’s hoof stood by, waiting for The Manager to tell her to close the door back.

No commands came in. Twilight stood faithfully as she watched in horror the magma flowing out of the hole and started crawling toward her. Red-hot viscous liquid rock poured over the door, like a very slow ocean wave. Two meters in front of her face, she could feel its heat behind her suit. Fibers inside started loosening and the metal plates started sliding against each other—

On The Manager’s cue, her hoof slammed against the switch and she quickly scrambled up the steps, just in time before the magma’s surface tension broke and spilled its innards to where she had been seconds ago. She heard a muffled thump as the door closed and stopped the overflow from overflowing.

“Manager, you absolute lunatic.”

The Manager gave her a mental shrug.

The trot back from Tartarian Moat to Bristle Acres was tedious. There was nothing of interest but stairs and the occasional Duplicants, smiling at Twilight as they passed by. At one point, Twilight started smiling back. At another point, a Duplicant asked her why she was making funny faces at him. At a point after that, Twilight successfully practiced her face muscles on how to smile on-demand.

At last, Twilight arrived at floor 238. The aisle was decorated right and left with pneumatic doors, all leading to two dozen identical hatch ranches. It was put away from other stables for its low-maintenance and fully-automated feeding and slaughtering systems. The only Dupes that ever needed to be there were ranchers to groom the hatches and couriers to deliver the minerals.

Each hatch ranch was filled with a storage compactor, a critter feeder filled with rocks, a grooming station, and an auto-sweeper to do all the delivery between the storage to the feeder. The auto-sweeper was also used to sweep any eggs the hatches laid and put them on the conveyor belt to be sent to the evolution chamber.

Seven moving stones greeted her as she entered the stable. After maneuvering herself around the yelping stone hatches, Twilight dumped the igneous rock she was carrying to the storage. The lumps of biological rocks around her hooves yelped happy yelping noises at her as she opened and closed the compactor. She found herself fond of their appearances, despite them looking like no more than stones with feet and a mouth.

“Good afternoon, Twilight.”

After calming her nerves and ensuring that she hadn’t gotten a cardiac arrest, Twilight took a deep breath and glared at Fluttershy. “Good afternoon.”

Fluttershy smiled and trotted toward the grooming station. “I see you’ve stopped actively trying to be a jerk.”

“Being a jerk is tiring,” Twilight said as she dropped on her haunches with a deep sigh. “And I’m already quite tired.”

Fluttershy giggled. “You’ll get used to it eventually.”

“That’s the plan.”

“So,” Fluttershy started as she went on grooming the hatches, “how’s your day been?”

Twilight was about to answer that it was none of Fluttershy’s business and that she should be going, but caught herself and started recounting her times from delivering water to the sleet wheat farm in Wheezefreeze, delivering ice from there to an active copper volcano in Bristle Acre’s mines, nearly burnt herself trying to pick up near-molten copper, delivering cooled refined copper from there to a courier from Regoville Frontier, relaying the obsidian he brought to Tartarian Moat, nearly dying when operating an automation circuit The Manager somehow couldn’t switch on and off herself, then finally bringing back igneous rock to the hatch ranch. All in all, it was an uneventful day.

“Did you smile to ponies you meet on your way?”

“Not everypony,” Twilight said, lazily pushing away a stone hatch trying to climb on her lap, “sometimes I forgot. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it.”

Fluttershy giggled. At Twilight’s questioning look, she said, “I see you’re enjoying yourself here.”

“These hatches are artificially manufactured by Alicorn Tech to induce a psychological satisfaction to boost morale.” Twilight patted the stone hatch. It didn’t notice. “Hanging around them is good for a Duplicant’s productivity.”

Fluttershy laughed and continued grooming the hatches. Twilight, meanwhile, decided that she wouldn’t be trotting anywhere anytime soon with so little stamina left, and so she sat down on all fours to recover.

Minutes passed by unnoticed, the entire floor silent save for the occasional yelping of hatches, brushing of brushes, and swishing of auto-sweepers. And never forget the bubbly sounds from the evolution chamber, passively watching over the incubating eggs and helping newborns evolve into their final form: meat.

Twilight perked up as she got a sudden notification, guiding her to a nearby stone hatch. She took out her laser cannon and aimed.

Fluttershy tackled her and sent them rolling down the stable. Twilight’s laser cannon retracted as soon as she staggered, canceling her shot. Roll and roll they go until their angular momentum dissipated and they stopped, Fluttershy ending on top and pinning Twilight down with all her strength.

“Get off me!”

“Don’t attack!”

“But The Manager—”

“It’s probably a mistake!”

“It’s a command!”

“It’s a mistake!”

“But—”

“Don’t attack stone hatches!”

“But the command—”

“Don’t attack stone hatches!”

“They’re food!”

“They’re deadly!”

“They’re animals!”

“They can kill you!”

“But I have to—”

Fluttershy screamed.

Twilight screamed back.

All stone hatches screamed at the same time.

The Manager finally took notice and would've screamed if she had a mouth.

Sure enough, the attack command for the hatch disappeared. With her multitool belt’s Override Software shut down, Twilight blinked, then slowly rose to her feet with Fluttershy’s help. She stared at her.

Fluttershy blushed and smiled. “It’s . . . Uhm . . . Annoying when that happens, right? Heh.”

Twilight shook her head. “I sometimes forgot you Early Dupes have more everything than me, including strength.”

“Don’t feel ashamed—”

“I’m not. It’s just . . . " Twilight rubbed her bruised shoulders. “Goodness, you’re strong.” She glared at the ceiling. “And I’m pretty sure The Manager is trying to kill me.”

The Manager told her that, no, Duplicants are just suicidal by default.

Twilight angrily kicked a nearby stone hatch. It didn’t notice. “Everything’s trying to kill us, even a software.”

The Manager gave her an approving nudge.

Author's Note

Oxygen Not Included is a game about resource management. I'm not sure I want to shower you all with fictional crises involving it when everyone is already facing it in real life, and so I got myself to rewrite a lot of the plot from this point onward, which is why this came out quite late. It'll still have some of it since it's quite inevitable, but I've kinda sorta minimized it.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you still enjoy it!

Also,

R.I.P. Hydro sensors as manual toggles. The actual manual toggle can now be finally actually manually toggled.

Industrial Brick

The Manager was an Artificial Intelligence specifically constructed to prepare a planet for ponies to live in. Her codes specialized in terraforming and resource management and, with them, a lot of knowledge in the world of industry and manufacture. It was only natural, then, even after finding out her creators would never come, that she continued to build everything in an industrial setting. Getting completely overboard with it was nothing more than a side product of her boredom.

"Hey, Twilight!"

Twilight nodded.

Rainbow Dash jogged in place to match Twilight's pace. "What are you up to?"

"Delivering ores."

"Where?"

"The Industrial Brick."

Rainbow did a backflip. "Cool."

Twilight sighed. "Is there anything I can help you with, Rainbow Dash?"

"Not really." Rainbow ran in a zig-zag. "I'm heading there too."

"Mhm."

"Have you ever seen The Industrial Brick before?"

Twilight shook her head and grunted. "Only stories. Don't you have anything more productive to do than bothering me?"

Rainbow stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Really? Not even during your training period?"

"I was immediately sent to work on a space program. I'm literally a researcher all my life."

Rainbow chuckled.

"What?" Twilight asked but was never answered when the answer answered itself. They turned a corner to a pneumatic door.

It was a very ordinary pneumatic door. It was made of steel, though, which was very unordinary for a pneumatic door.

It was also filled thoroughly with a thick, viscous liquid. Visco-gel: a liquid so viscous that it could cover a two-meter vertical gap without spilling over.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Twilight opened the door, sloshing the gel ever so slightly. "I've never seen a Visco-gel airlock before."

Rainbow Dash casually trotted through the liquid. It seemed as if she was swallowed by a giant purple Jell-O.

"Uh..."

Rainbow's gloved hoof appeared from the gel. "Join me," Rainbow stage-whispered from inside the wobbly jelly.

Twilight took the hoof. It dragged her forcefully, but also carefully. She sank into the gel, and her vision went purple and distorted. It felt wet, and it felt chilly. She felt the drag of the Visco-gel pulling her away from Rainbow's hoof, almost as if it didn't want her to pass through.

She appeared on the other side, gasping for breath. There wasn't anything to breathe in, however. It was a complete vacuum.

Rainbow plopped a spacesuit's helmet to her head and Twilight greedily took in the oxygen. She laughed behind her own helmet.

Or, at least, Twilight saw her laughing. In a vacuum, nopony could hear you scream. Or laugh. She only heard distant echoes from underneath her foot.

Rainbow gestured for her to move forward. Twilight got herself into a spacesuit and tried to keep pace with Rainbow's walk.
There was another liquid airlock on the other side, but it wasn't Visco-gel. It was based on an early model, where a U-shaped tunnel was filled with liquid to prevent gas flow. These types of airlocks were used because they could be set up using cheap materials such as crude oil or even water.

Twilight dipped into the liquid after Rainbow. A bite caused her to jump out of it, only to realize it was cold that was biting her, not some random misplaced Pacu. The bluish liquid couldn't be water. That was way too cold.

Twilight steeled her nerves and dipped herself into the pool of liquid oxygen. From the deepest point of the airlock, she could see Rainbow waiting eagerly on the other side. She helped her climb up.

Twilight emerged from the airlock and nearly fell off the railing. Rainbow kept her in place.

"What the—"

"Welcome to The Industrial Brick." Twilight got a feeling that Rainbow had been waiting to say that for quite some time. Their voices were very high-pitched, though, which meant—

"This is—Is this what I think it is?"

"What, The Industrial Brick?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Duh."

Twilight waved her hooves around. If oxygen can exist in liquid form, then, "What gas are we surrounded in?"

"Hydrogen." Rainbow looked down at the countless crisscrossing catwalks and the rows upon rows of heavy-duty metal platforms. Petroleum generators could be heard chugging in the distance, along with metallic screeches and clanks filling in the ambiance. There were other sounds inside the pandemonium, but Twilight couldn't make out what those are. "So, what are you delivering?"

"I'm supposed to send ores to the metal refinery." She took a glance at the numerous pathfinding issues in front of her. She looked at Rainbow in desperation.

Rainbow pointed to their left. "First floor. Just walk in a straight line, and you'll find them."

Twilight looked at where Rainbow was pointing. There were pipes and heavy-watt wires strewn about everywhere, but she could see some stations that looked like they were meant for a metal forge. Hopefully. "'First floor'? Aren't we on the top?"

"The Industrial Brick grew downward over time." Rainbow grabbed a fire pole nearby and looked down. Twilight took a peek and couldn't see the bottom. "You count the floors in reverse."

"What's down there?"

Rainbow scratched her chin—er, helmet. "Oh, I don't know. Don't you have anything more productive than sightseeing?"

"Wh-what? But I—"

Rainbow winked. "Meet me on floor 12." She saluted and slid down the fire pole.

Twilight slowly backed away and went in the direction she was given. The metal tiles she stepped on made noises in different pitches. By activating the Material Overlay software in her multitool belt, she found that the tiles were made of different materials. This tile was made of steel, the other out of pure gold. The next one was made out of tungsten, the one before that was made out of niobium.

She was so busy gaping at the myriad of colors that she nearly crashed into another Dupe. She took a step back and to the right.

The Dupe took a step back and to the left.

Twilight moved to the left.

The Dupe moved to the right.

Twilight stood still.

The Dupe stood still.

Silence.

The Dupe chuckled. "Eheh... sorry." She sidestepped to her right. "You go first."

Twilight stared.

The Dupe shifted uncomfortably. "Is something wrong?"

She pointed at the Duplicant's back. "What are you carrying?"

"Oh, this?" She grabbed the black chunk and enlarged it. Her software told her it was almost a ton in mass. "Carbon dioxide."

"Carbon dioxide? As in, the thing you breathe out?"

"Uh, yeah?" She shook her head. "Oh, sorry. Are you a transfer from the Industrial Sauna?" She chuckled. "Yeah, things can get crazy cold around here. Which is kinda neat." She pointed down. "The Manager decided that this is the best way of dealing with carbon dioxide from the generators. You know how annoying those things are."

"Just... freezing it solid?"

She shrugged. "Kinda cool, don't you think?"

Twilight stared at the ceiling. "What?"

She could taste the overwhelming smugness from The Manager's nudge.

Twilight trotted forward. "You know what? Just don't think about it."

And think about it she didn't. She successfully did it for 0.012 seconds before thinking about it again.

Thankfully, she could only think about it for about thirty seconds before reaching a metal refinery. She delivered it to the Dupe operating it, immediately galloped to the fire pole, then slid down as fast as gravity could take her eleven floors down.
Rainbow was waiting, leaning casually on a working steam turbine. "Took you long enough."

"Not everypony has hundreds of thousands of cycles of running practice." She shook away the chill starting to creep up the spacesuit's insulation. "So, what is it?"

Rainbow pointed at the floor. "This." It was immediately clear that the floor they were standing on wasn't made of metal. It was hard and sturdy, and the fact that the steam turbine it was supporting was working meant that there was steam below. It was insulated. Rainbow continued, "You're smart, right? You know what this is?"

Twilight trotted to the opposite side of the turbine.

The floor ended there with a massive pool of liquid oxygen. And a pool ladder, because of course.

"Would you like to learn how to swim?"

Twilight jumped back and glared at Rainbow. "In that!? No way!"

"Why not?" Rainbow asked. "It's just like water. But chilly."

"And extremely flammable." She huffed, then slowly walked back and stared at the bottom of the pool. "What's all this doing in the middle of an industrial site?"

Rainbow draped a wing over her, ignoring her protests. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Well, a steam turbine means power generation."

"Uhuh."

"It also means thermal energy turning into electric potential."

"In nerd terms, yes."

"Which is the basics for some sort of 'heat deletion device' that the colony uses everywhere."

"Kinda."

"You know what those words meant?"

"I'm not that dumb."

Twilight stared.

Rainbow wriggled her eyebrows.

"What's under the steam—"

"Hydrogen."

Twilight closed her eyes and queued a request for an overview of the entire area. She saw, in the mental image sent by the system, that there was another pool under the steam room filled with liquid hydrogen, smartly insulated from the rest of The Industrial Brick.

And then she saw a rocket in the next room.

Twilight slowly took a breath and stared at the wall on the far side of the pool. It was perfectly insulated to prevent any sort of heat from transferring between The Industrial Brick and the rocket silo. There were pipes jutting out of it, suggesting that the pool Twilight was looking at was where the fuel for every launch came from. "You know, Manager, I've never actually seen what's inside the launch pad before."

"Twilight?"

"You have all the space in the asteroid." She waved her hoof from side to side. "You could've made all the silo that you want. You have the resources to cover the entire asteroid with bunker doors—yes, I've calculated that you are, in fact, capable of doing that. But." She exhaled. "But."

Rainbow let out a blissful sigh. "You should've seen them launch together, Twi. It's so awesome."

"Of course." She sat on her haunches. "Space missions are so few and far in between not because you only have one rocket, but because you decided that it's cooler to launch all five of them in tandem from a single hole on the ground." She stared at the ceiling. "Was everything I've ever planned for our expedition a lie? Was I only planning for the one rocket that's going with the other four?"

"You can't take all the glory to yourself."

Twilight glared at her. "She could've been honest about it!"

Rainbow shrugged. "Maybe she is? How can you tell that we're going to launch every single rocket at once?"

"Because we can?"

"We don't always—"

She slapped away Rainbow's wing from her shoulder. "Isn't that the whole point of giving me a view of something so ridiculously over what's conventional? Of accomplishing a feat so impossible that no other colony could even dream about it? To teach me that we do things only because we can? That not even The Manager herself has any idea as to what else to do now that our sole purpose of existence is lost!? That we're no more than a distorted echo of our extinct creators!?"

Rainbow slowly put a hoof on her shoulder. "Twilight."

Twilight whipped her head toward her. "What!?"

"I'm here to teach you how to swim."

Twilight blinked.

"But whatever you just said also works, I guess?"

The Manager gave her a worried nudge.

"Oh, cut it."

Author's Note

Oh hello there. Sorry for the delay. I've made a lot of outlines for upcoming chapters though, so hopefully, I can finish this story soon.

And no, I have no reason other than procrastination and a lot of "experimenting" with the ONI community's ideas. The Cryo Brick is my favorite unnecessary builds so far.

Idle Hooves Are the Manager's Workshop

The breeze that hit Twilight’s face as she opened the door was uncommonly cold. While the rest of the base was filled with oxygen at twenty-five degrees Celsius, the room she entered was about six degrees lower. And while the cooling needed to keep it at that temperature was minuscule, the system doing so would no doubt be on an industrial scale. Because the only definition for “air conditioning” The Manager knew was, “Take thermal energy to somewhere you can turn it to electric potential, then do it.” There was no such thing as throwing the heat to the environment and hope the problem goes away. Not in an asteroid.

To visualize, the system she used to refrigerate Bristle Acre’s pantry to about 4°C (39.2°F) was the exact same as the one used to cool down The Industrial Brick to -200°C (-328°F), but with fewer steam turbines to eat up the heat.

The other option would be to plant Wheezeworts. The Manager wasn’t known to be kind to nature, though, considering she was built for colonizing lifeless planets.

And so it was a mild surprise that Twilight found a Wheezewort planted next to the cloud bed.

She didn’t know why it was the most surprising thing she found in the gold-walled bedroom with red velvet carpets and countless masterwork paintings lining the walls, but there she was, standing at the entrance looking at the Wheezewort. She wasn’t even surprised that there was a refrigerator that’s actually connected to power.

The door at the other end of the room opened, and Rarity walked out. She was wearing a red beret with a paintbrush sticking out of a pocket made specifically for holding brushes on a beret. “Oh, sorry, darling,” she greeted her, “have you been waiting long?”

Twilight shook her head and enlarged the bundle of reed fiber on her back. “No, I’ve just arrived.” She leaned left to look at the room behind her. “Was that a personal toilet?”

“Technically, it’s public,” she answered as she trotted forward and took the bundle. “But nopony else ever uses it.”

Twilight checked her to-do list and found that it wasn’t yet short. She should be going elsewhere as soon as possible, but there was something she needed to know. “Rarity, can I ask you something?”

“Rarity?” she asked in a dangerous tone. ”Rarity!? Don’t you know who I am!?”

Twilight took two steps back and a hoof at the mechanized door’s switch. “Uh... Rarity?”

Her scowl vanished as quick as it appeared and was replaced by sorrow. She sighed. “Of course. No, dearie, you’re mistaken. I’m Belle, Head Artist of Bristle Acres.” She flicked a hoof on her fantastically curled hair. “Head Artist of the entire colony, with that.”

“But isn’t—”

“Yes, I know.” She did a backflip, and for a second, Twilight thought she was going to break her neck, but a sofa appeared out of nowhere to catch her. The pose she then struck could only be described as ‘cliche.’ “I can’t really be the leader of something if I’m the only one, can’t I? Woe is me, the only dedicated artist in the entire colony!” She sobbed. “How could such tragedy befell upon such a magnificent mare?”

Twilight looked at her with half-lidded eyes. “Seriously?”

“Do I look like I’m dramatizing it!?”

“You sound incredibly narcissistic.”

"Oh, hush. It's a coping mechanism preventing me from going mad from all my stress."

Twilight blinked.

"You think you're the only one smart enough for self-awareness?"

Twilight shook her head. “But I thought Rarity is also an artist? And I remember—”

“Yes, yes, part-time artists, aren’t they?” She dropped from the sofa and kicked it with a hind hoof, sending it flying smoothly to an empty space on the far wall. “All under my teachings, even the famous Rarity herself,” she bragged, spitting the name Rarity like poison.

“You have something against Rarity?”

“A friend of hers, are you not?” Belle ushered her to come in, and Twilight did so. “I do, in fact, have a lot of things against my doppelganger. Never being recognized as my own name, for one.” She flourished at the wall to her right, which was covered with paintings of many styles and sizes, all with a level of skill recognizable even by the most artistically blind. The only space without art was the sofa. “Never being credited for creating almost every masterpiece painting in the entire colony, from the ten-meter long painting of Hell Let Loose in Tartarian Moat to the small First Death in the chambers of the Observatory!” She fluttered her eyelashes at Twilight. “I’m sure you’ve noticed the latter?”

“I thought The Manager was pulling a prank. I put it under the desk.”

“It was a painting of a very dear friend, Twily. But!” she flourished once again, summoning a handkerchief out of nowhere and blew into it. “But nopony ever told you who painted it, didn’t they!?” She cried. “And yet, nopony could ever comprehend the absolute torture which I am about to describe!” She threw her head back and sobbed once. “I don’t think even you, the most cold-blooded Duplicant in the entire colony, can bear listening to it!”

“...Which was?”

”Idle!”

“Idle?”

“Being idle! Jobless! Left with absolutely nothing to do! I have utterly saturated the entire asteroid with my talent that I have nowhere else to put my work but at the smelter! Truly the worst. Possible. Thing!”

“I am very sorry about the absolute torturous boredom that you’re enduring, but did you describe the colony’s previous most cold-blooded Duplicant ‘a very dear friend?’”

Belle wiped away her ruined mascara. Where she was able to find makeup in the asteroid was not something Twilight was willing to find out. “Yes. She was a dear friend of mine until her unprecedented death at the hands of Slimelung.”

“She...” Her mouth twitched. “She made a friend? And the ‘dear’ that you used isn’t just a personality quirk from your part?”

Belle sat on the sofa and leaned on the handle. With a sigh, she started, “Twily wouldn’t admit it, but I consider her my best friend. We spent a lot of time together researching things. She was very talkative when muttering to herself.”

“But weren’t you busy scouring for muckroots back then?”

“That had only been until the Hatch ranch came online, during which I haven’t existed yet. Art and interior decor weren’t much of a concern until the transition days of the colony, and so on the day of birth, The Manager assigned me for research duty. I have Anemia, you see, I’m not really fit for infrastructure expansion.”

Twilight huffed. “Tell me about it.”

“About what, Twily?” Belle patted the vacancy next to her. “I can tell you a lot about your past reincarnation if you’re willing to listen.” She giggled. “Even though I doubt you’d have any time for that in your ever-increasing list of duties, no?”

“Actually, I do.”

Belle raised an eyebrow.

Twilight sat next to Belle. The sofa was a lot comfier than any cloud bed she had ever slept on. “You said you were a researcher before becoming an artist?”

“I was always an artist at heart, Twilight, but yes, I was a researcher.” She pointed to the frame above her bed, which, Twilight didn’t notice among the paintings, was a black thinking hat just like hers. “Sunset Shimmer did most of the research after our first rocket launch, during which the colony was already stable enough for us to add artistic touches.” Belle stared longingly at the ceiling. “They were the best cycles of my life. Sculptures everywhere! Paintings accompanying hundreds of floors of stairs from top to bottom! Space artifact exhibitions inside barracks!”

“That’s interesting and all, but are you implying that Sunset didn’t design the rockets?”

“Ha!” she exclaimed. “No, and yes. I was the one who designed the steam-powered rocket and the research modules. Sunset and a few others designed the petroleum rocket, then the liquid hydrogen rockets.”

Twilight gaped. “The steam rocket? Really? Those bulky beasts that could barely reach the closest ring?” She held back a squee. “They were almost impossible to comprehend. The Cryofuel engine is easy science compared to that one! Are you saying you and Twily designed that from scratch?”

Belle opened her mouth, then closed it back. After a few seconds, she said, “...No. I did.”

Twilight’s smile vanished. “Oh.” She grinned again. ”You designed that all by yourself!?”

“With the help of previous researches, both from the database directly and those from what Twily left behind.”

“Belle, I have so many questions.”

Belle smiled. “You’re just like her, but at the same time, nothing like her. What kind of curse were you enduring that led you to be this sociable with other Duplicants?”

“Research!” Twilight exclaimed as she pumped up a hoof.

“Of course.” Belle giggled and wiped away a tear. “Just like her.”

“I’m going to need all your notes on the Research Module.”

“It’s all in the archive,” she answered with a raised eyebrow. “But why would you need it? I thought you’re an astronomer?”

Twilight pulled out a blueprint from her multitool belt. “I need your opinion on this.”

Belle took the blueprint and opened it. A quick glance was enough for her eyebrows to shoot up. “I don’t have the researching softwares in me anymore, but this is... ambitious, to say the least.” She looked at her. “I fear whatever idea you have in mind.”

Twilight wriggled her eyebrows. “I have a request for you if you’re willing to leave your luxuriously empty schedule behind?”

Belle let out a single laugh. “Anything to get me out of this boredom!” She held out a hoof.

Twilight ignored it. “So, Manager?”

The Manager gave her an approving nudge and granted Belle access to download the researching softwares from the Printing Pod.

Author's Note

Sometimes it's worth spending all that resources for the sake of making a bedroom look pretty. An Ellie usually gets the room because, as her bio suggests, she likes glitters and unicorn stickers. Fittingly, she's a sticker bomber.

Lore spoiler: Her blueprint, Dr. Ellie Jones, once abused the system email to get her glitter pens back. I love small easter eggs like these.

Shove Vole Night

Metal Volcano Tamers were the best examples of the few times The Manager decided to be as lazy as possible and see if she could get away with it. All she did was box a volcano with insulated walls, fill the room with lots of water, then put a steam turbine above it. Over time, the molten metal spat out by the volcano would boil enough of the water to turn on the steam turbine, then the condensed steam from the turbine was sent back into the box to cool the metal enough to be used.

She got away with it. The design was then used all over the colony to harvest the metal and prevent the heat from leaking out.

Sunset Shimmer came out of one such contraption with a chunk of iron just cold enough to not be red-hot. Still wearing a spacesuit, she enlarged it and dipped it into a small pool of water nearby with a loud sizzle. "Here you go."

Twilight took the chunk of iron from Sunset. It was still hot, but not dangerously so. In the relatively chilly atmosphere of the caverns, the heat was almost comforting. "Thank you."

"Aww, you're starting to say thank you now!"

"I'm learning. Don't tempt me to stop doing it."

Sunset giggled. "Whatever you say, Twilight. Well, you should be going now, then."

Twilight stopped her before she could go back to the exosuit dock. "Sunset, one question."

"Shoot."

Twilight tapped her hoof on the ground. "You... designed the biological cargo bay, didn't you?"

Sunset nodded. "The thing that doesn't really have any practical use. What about it?"

"I don't suppose you still have the schematics for it?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Of course, I do. They're in the archives. What for?"

"A project. With Belle."

"Belle?" Something curious sparked behind Sunset's eyes. "She's getting back to research?"

"I convinced her to."

"Huh. You need any help with it?"

"Yes. That's why I asked Belle to help me."

Sunset frowned. "Is there anything I can help?"

Twilight shrugged. "Probably. I don't really want too many Dupes on this project, though." She looked right and left then stage-whispered, "It's a secret."

Sunset Ooh'd. "Still. I bet Belle is excited to have something else to do other than moping around and drinking tea?"

"Yes, she—" Twilight clamped her mouth shut. "...tea?"

"Pincha Peppernuts can be processed into different types of caffeinated beverages depending on how you do it..." Sunset continued blabbering about the many derivatives of caffeinated beverages while making some elaborate gestures with her hooves. Supposedly they were to visualize what was done to the peppernuts and not to summon demons. Twilight was entranced. "...And if you grind the peppernuts like that instead of this, the extract would taste more like what our ancestors call 'tea' other than—shove vole."

"Taste like shove voles?"

Sunset pointed behind Twilight. "There's a shove vole behind you."

Twilight turned around and, sure enough, there was a head poking out of the ground. "What's a shove vole doing this deep in the colony?"

"You suppose that's the shove vole that escaped at your incident?"

"That was a dozen cycles ago. I don't—"

There was an explosion of dirt and loud squealing. Sunset barely blinked from behind her spacesuit. Twilight was sent tumbling a few paces away.

"Shove vole!" shouted a voice. "Where's the shove vole!?"

"Oh, hello, Rarity. Hunting for shove voles?"

"Oh, hello, Sunset," Rarity answered, her voice as smooth as silk and as jittery as a hatchling. "I am, in fact, hunting for shove voles. You know how annoying those little critters could be. I don't suppose you've seen one? Preferably recently."

Sunset pointed to her left.

Rarity spun her head around and found the shove vole perched on Twilight's back. "Shove vole!"

Twilight blinked the stars away from her vision. She was immediately aware of the weight on her back and, seeing the murderous look on Rarity's eyes, frantically threw the shove vole away from her.

With her eyes never leaving the vole, she emerged from the hole that she dug with a laser gun ready.

"Rarity, wait!"

Rarity shot her gun and hit the ground next to the shove vole. It squeaked and, coming to its senses, buried itself on the wall.

Sunset grabbed Twilight away from Rarity's path to the hole that the vole dug. They were a little slow, but luckily, the vole dug itself deep enough to somewhere unreachable, thus shutting down Rarity's Override Software.

Sunset waved a hoof in front of Rarity's unblinking face.

Rarity sighed and politely pushed the hoof away. "I'm sorry, everypony. I've been chasing the little fellow for quite some time now, you see—" Rarity gritted her teeth "—It's starting to get on my nerves."

Twilight chuckled nervously. "You need help with it?"

"I haven't slept for three cycles." Her eye twitched. "Some help would be lovely, although I doubt you'd be of any help."

Sunset's ears drooped as she strained a smile. "If that means you're not shooting us?"

Rarity sighed. "Fine. Guns at the ready." She retracted her laser gun and took out the other laser gun, the one for mining. She nodded at Sunset to take off her spacesuit first.

"Wait!" Twilight shouted, then checked back at the mental map of the area. "There's an obsidian vein nearby. We can trap it around it!"

"Good idea." Rarity dialed up her mining gun from 1 all the way to 10. "Ready?"

Sunset returned from the checkpoint with her laser gun mounted on her back. "As I'll ever be."

Rarity queued a request to dig a whole chunk of the area, which was quickly accepted by The Manager. She flashed a smile big enough to send shivers down Twilight's fur.

"Uh, Rarity?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Please remember we're here."

Rarity toned down her grin to a pleasant smile. Twilight immediately fell in love with it. "I shall keep that promise until my Override turns back on." She then cranked the dial in her mining gun to 11, then again to a normally-nonexistent dial marked 'yes' with a paper tape.

Despite the assurance, Twilight and Sunset took a few steps back.

And it was the right choice because what happened later could only be described as 'evaporation.' A path was carved on the wall in a matter of seconds, going deeper into the depths easily at trotting speed. Giant boulders the size of Duplicants was reduced to dust and slag, creating jagged flooring nopony would want to fall into. As they go deeper, Rarity started going sideways and creating an opening. Twilight stood behind Sunset at all times. Her cap was a lot less protective than Sunset's thinking hat.

A few minutes passed. The dust settled, and with the headlight from her helmet shining bright, Rarity's silhouette emerged triumphantly over the evil, no-good rocks. A sizable cavern was there where there had been solid bedrock.

Twilight clapped her hooves. "Are you finished showing off?"

"Not quite," Rarity answered calmly. "Should the need arises, I'll swoon you even further with my digging skills."

"I don't think my blueprint's donor was into miners."

Rarity gave her a sly smile. "But your donor was into mine, wasn't she?"

Sunset coughed loudly and steadied her gun. "Anyway! Shove vole."

Twilight cast a scouring spell over the area. "It's somewhere there." She pointed at the ceiling, where a thin layer of sedimentary rock was left between the opening and the obsidian vein. Her ears perked up, and she could hear the silent clinking of a critter trying desperately to dig into the obsidian.

Rarity grinned. "Finally, you're finally going to be mine!"

"Aren't you killing it?"

"...My dinner!"

"Wow. Where's your evil laugh?" Sunset jokingly asked and regretted when Rarity actually let out a "Mwahaha!"

Twilight glanced at Sunset. It was dark, but they could make up each other's worried faces. "Rarity, I think you should sleep."

"Just let me finish this one first, alright?"

"That's what we're worried about," Twilight said as she dialed down Rarity's mining gun. "Any more mental strain from the Override and you may snap. I'm not talking about a stress response either; I'm talking about your actual blood vessels."

Rarity glared at her. "I'm going to snap yours if won't let me finish my combat task!"

Twilight glared back.

Rarity's right eye twitched.

Twilight kept staring.

Rarity squinted.

Twilight put a hoof over Rarity's eyes. A few seconds later, the cave was filled with the sound of pleasant snoring.

"Twilight?"

Twilight slid under Rarity and stood up, carrying her like a saddlebag. "I'm not taking any risks of being around a homicidal Dupe." She craned her neck and looked at Rarity's tired face. "And she's tired. Very tired. I don't know if The Manager noticed since there are only so many Duplicants she could put her attention to at once."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'm taking her to her bed." She glared at the ceiling. "And I have a little lecture prepared for a certain artificial intelligence." She felt an apologetic nudge, then turned to look at Sunset. "You can take care of the vole, right? Maybe call Fluttershy or one of the ranchers to wrangle it instead?"

"I think there's a drecko ranch nearby." Sunset retracted her gun and half-smiled at Twilight. "Seriously, what's gotten into you?"

"I have decided that I'm going all-in to fixing my Empathy Module."

"Have you been taking lectures from Fluttershy?"

"Quite possibly."

"Willingly?"

Twilight trotted away. "I cannot confirm nor deny."

"So you're the one who asked her to do it?"

Twilight said nothing, but the temperature overlay of her cheeks told Sunset enough.

Author's Note

+20 excavation is op

Research Notes - Bioengineering Department

Hatch

Security code: A001

Hypothesis: It is possible to genetically engineer microbiota to transform inorganic materials into combustible hydrocarbon.

We have successfully engineered a species of bacteria capable of transforming plastic polymers into basic hydrocarbons, along with microbiota of several species of bacterium and fungi capable of transforming inorganic materials into soluble pallets high in nutrition. It is therefore theoretically possible to create microbiota capable of turning inorganic materials into combustible hydrocarbons. Along with[DATA CORRUPTED]

Conclusion: It is possible to create complex hydrocarbons from sedimentary rocks through biological processes.

Further research should focus on the scaling and efficiency of the process.

Security code: A001, B213

Hypothesis: The introduction of different gut microbiota to Gallus gallus domesticus will change the host’s diet.

Elizabeth is given the microbiota that eats sandstone and turns it to goop that technically has nutritional value. We hope that she will defecate coal.

Elizabeth seems well after the introduction process. No physiological consequences have been observed after approximately five hours from subject Gallus-1.

Elizabeth has been eating rocks for a few days and finally defecates a slimy lump of rock. It’s not coal. She’s losing weight and is getting weaker.

Subject Gallus-1 expired of malnutrition.

Subject Gallus-2 is given a revised version of the microbiota. No physiological consequences have been observed after approximately seven hours.

Bertha has been eating rocks for a day and defecates a solid lump of rock. Further research has confirmed that it can catch fire. It’s probably coal.

Bertha has been alive for three weeks and has been continuously eating sandstone. Changes in the composition of eggshells subject Gallus-2 produces have been observed and identified as a “rock.” A more technical term can be found in Physics Engineering’s research notes.

Conclusion: Bertha the chicken is now a source of coal.

Further research should focus on maintaining the host’s reproduction system.

Security code: B213

Hypothesis: We can make a rock-chicken.

Bertha’s fur has all fallen off after a few months after we gave her the gut microbiota. I suspect her cells will turn to something more akin to rocks.

Bertha’s eggs are now literal stones. She doesn’t seem to be experiencing distress when laying them.

Bertha’s skin is turning grey. Traces of sedimentary rock can be found on her epidermis.

Bertha died of organ failure.

Conclusion: We cannot make a rock-chicken.

Further research should focus on creating rock-compatible organs.

Security code: B213

Hypothesis: We can make rock-compatible chicken organs.

A batch of lab-grown chicken organs has been created to see if they still work if we turn them into rocks. Nutrition is given from the excretion of what I’ve come to call the ‘rock microbiota.’

Organs have successfully been turned rock-based. They look like rocks and feel like rocks. They’re rocks.

Organs cannot perform any of their functions save for the anus.

Conclusion: We cannot make rock-compatible chicken organs.

Further research should focus on creating a rock-compatible entity, I guess?

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: It is possible to bioengineer a species completely from scratch capable of metabolism of combustible hydrocarbon.

The hypothetical organism will be created with a dermis composed of trace minerals and cells capable of metabolizing hydrocarbons created by the rock microbiota.

Organs will be taken from Bertha’s remains. The rock microbiota from Bertha’s remains will be reused. Subject Gallus-2 will now be dubbed “Bertha” in certain circumstances.

The species, now dubbed subject Cutie-1 (despite the displeasure given by the researcher) has been living for 28 hours without any complications.

Henry can eat rocks and poop out coal better than Bertha.

Subject Cutie-1 was given different minerals to test if the gut microbiota can handle them just as well and still provide nutrition to the subject. Subject Cutie-1 is also now dubbed as “Henry” should Fluttershy get the turn to write the report.

Henry cannot eat igneous rocks.

Subject Cutie-1 expired of intestinal congestion.

Henry tastes like chicken.

Conclusion: An organism has been created capable of digesting sedimentary rocks and excreting combustible hydrocarbon. We also found out that [REDACTED] is insufferably formal and doesn’t understand jokes.

Further research should focus on expanding the variety of minerals capable of being digested by the rock microbiota and teaching Dr. Shy about lab protocols.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: The new artificial species now called a “hatch” is capable of reproduction.

Subject Cutie-2 has been created with the same configuration as subject Cutie-1.

Carl has been around for a few weeks. Scanning spells show that they can produce eggs.

Subject Cutie-2, also known colloquially as “Carl”, has laid a fertile egg.

Carl is now a father!

Subject Cutie-2 may also be a mother.

Carl is a hermaphrodite.

Conclusion: The artificial species known as the “hatch” is a hermaphrodite capable of reproduction. The researcher known as [REDACTED] is now capable of identifying cute things.

Further research should focus on expanding the variety of minerals capable of being digested by the rock microbiota.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: A prolonged diet of sedimentary rocks will eventually yield microbiota capable of digesting a wider variety of minerals.

Subject Cutie-2 and its offspring, Cutie-3, are fed sedimentary rocks for approximately a month.

Carl has laid another egg which contains a higher percentage of rocks than eggshells. Jean has also laid an egg, but it contains the usual amount of rocks in its shell.

The egg laid by Subject Cutie-2 bears an offspring, tagged subject Cutie-4, with a skin composed of a thick layer of sedimentary rock. The egg laid by subject Cutie-3 is cracked open and exposed to heat for three minutes to create a culinary delicacy known as an omelet. It tastes just like an omelet.

Carl’s child, Charles, can eat igneous rocks.

Subject Cutie-4 is capable of digesting metal in raw forms. The excretion product is still mainly composed of coal.

Charles ate my scalpel.

Subject Cutie-4, after successfully digesting my stool, has laid an egg with a shell composed mainly of aluminum.

Charles’ offspring, James, is cobalt-blue and smooth. Their skin is composed of a thin yet durable layer of aluminum. They can be used as a musical instrument.

Subject Cutie-5 is terminated after attempting to eat my sister’s favorite coffee table.

Conclusion: Do not eat the director’s coffee table. Also, the hypothesis is true.

Further research is required to figure out a safe way of digesting the director’s table without risk of personnel termination.

Wheezewort

Encryption Level: 3

Security code: A001, B213

Hypothesis: The artificial species dubbed Catcher is capable of metabolizing ambient thermal energy.

A failed attempt at creating an animal capable of surviving by consuming dust yielded an entity seemingly capable of living off of ambient heat. Subject Catcher-22 has been observed to be dropping the temperature of the petri dish enough to prevent microbial growth.

Subject Catcher-22 is put in an insulated room full of oxygen at atmospheric pressure at 303K.

The room dropped 5K after 72 hours. The little guy is still enjoying its life.

The room dropped 10K after 144 hours.

The room was left for an extended period of time. The temperature stops dropping at approximately 213K, at which the subject began stifling itself.

Conclusion: The artificial species dubbed Catcher is capable of absorbing thermal energy to maintain its bodily processes.

Further research should focus on figuring out a way for the species to reproduce.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: The artificial species now known as the Wheezewort is capable of liquefying gas.

The wheezewort has been observed to be capable of living in a temperature range of approximately 213K - 368K. Carbon dioxide liquefies at 216.6K at atmospheric pressure. It is therefore theoretically possible to liquefy carbon dioxide with the help of subject Catcher-55.

The big wheezewort is put in an insulated room full of carbon dioxide slightly above atmospheric pressure.

The temperature management properties of subject Catcher-55 is observed to be dependent on the local gas’ specific heat capacity.

The wheezewort stops eating heat after reaching 222K.

Subject Catcher-22 expired of malnutrition.

Conclusion: The artificial species known as the wheezewort is incapable of consuming thermal energy that will result in a phase change of the local atmosphere. Dr. Shy, true to her name, is incredibly shy toward Ms. Shimmer.

Further research should focus on the reproductive capabilities and the temperature management effectiveness of the wheezewort. Also why Dr. Shy wasn't as shy to me as she was to everypony else. And how to make [REDACTED] shut up.

Shove Vole

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: The rock microbiota can eat moon dust.

The rock microbiota is let to cultivate in a petri dish filled with regolith samples taken from the moon.

After roughly 144 hours, the rock microbiota has adapted to digesting moon dust.

The nutritional value of the resulting product is deemed to be sufficient to sustain a 10kg hatch, should the entity ever be created. The waste product is not combustible by any means.

The waste product turned out to be regolith.

The specimen now dubbed regolith microbiota is incapable of producing combustible hydrocarbon.

Pinkie Pie ate our specimen.

Conclusion: Don’t put a lab specimen in the lounge’s refrigerator.

Further research should focus on the usability of the specimen as a gut microbiota for an animal capable of living in space and the effects on the consumption of said specimen by a pony.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: Subject Pinkie Pie, after eating the regolith microbiota, is now capable of digesting regolith.

We gave Dr. Pie a bowl full of moon dust. She ate it all and complained that it needs more sugar.

Subject Pinkie Pie is capable of flatulence after an hour of digesting regolith.

Dr. Pie defecates a healthy manure with hints of moon dust.

Subject Pinkie Pie has been eating regolith sparingly with cupcakes for a month. No physiological alteration has been observed.

Dr. Pie is as healthy as ever and has taken a liking to eating dirt.

Conclusion: The regolith microbiota is capable of being an auxiliary gut microbiota to sustain a typical carbon-based lifeform.

Further research should focus on fixing Dr. Pie’s gut microbiota and the possibility of creating a species capable of sustaining itself by consuming regolith.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: The regolith microbiota is capable of becoming an auxiliary gut microbiota to a vole.

We put the regolith microbiota to a vole and fed it moon dust.

Subject Vole-1 successfully defecates a healthy manure with hints of regolith.

After a few days, the vole vomits the moon dust back out instead of defecating it.

Subject Vole-1 has been living off of regolith for three weeks. Metabolism is still typical of a vole but the vomiting of substance instead of defecation.

The vole is still alive after a few months. No physiological alteration has been observed other than a dysfunctional large intestine.

Subject Vole-1 is terminated on grounds of being “too ugly” by sis.

Conclusion: The director is a huge meanie-pants.

Further research should focus on teaching my sister on the importance of maintaining employee morale and the psychological effects of being a [CENSORED].

Dr. Shy

Security code: B215

Hypothesis: Dr. Shy is having a mental breakdown.

Dr. Shy is showing psychological symptoms of being under huge stress including insomnia and unintentional vocalizations.

Dr. Shy is given benzodiazepines in an attempt to calm her down.

Dr. Shy is successfully put to sleep.

Dr. Shy woke up in a screaming fit of approaching deadlines that don't exist.

Dr. Shy is incapable of producing comprehensible words. An attempt will be made to sooth her with spoken words.

Dr. Shy has been neutralized with a tranquilizer on grounds of trying to kill me with a scalpel.

Conclusion: Celly has gone too far.

Security code: B215

Hypothesis: Director Celestia Sol Invicta is capable of empathy toward her employees.

Subject Dic-1 is exposed to the truth of her employee incapable of working productively due to extended periods of extreme stress.

Subject Dic-1 argues that sufficient motivation is needed for her employees to reach the deadline of saving Equestria from its energy crisis.

Dr. Shy is woken up without being informed that subject Dic-1 is observing. She proceeds to produce gibberish vocalizations and some minor words such as “Director” and “Deadlines.”

Subject Dic-1 shows distress after knowing that it’s all her [CENSORED] fault.

Dr. Shy attempts to stab my eye with a bonesaw and almost succeeding, effectively rooting the lesson into subject Dic-1 that she should maybe be kinder to her employees.

Conclusion: My sister extended lunchtimes and approved recreational activities to be held inside the facility outside working hours.

No further research needed. She [CENSORED] got the point.

Duplicant

Encryption Level: 5

Security code: B215

Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings.

A DNA stamp of subject Amoeba-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient genetic ooze has been synthesized and put inside the cartridge.

The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out an amoeba-like creature into the petri dish, now dubbed clone Amoeba-A.

Clone Amoeba-A is observed to be lacking a mitochondrion.

Clone Amoeba-A expired of malnutrition.

Conclusion: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings with certain limitations.

Further research should focus on perfecting the printing method to yield a better output.

Security code: B215

Hypothesis: The revised version of the Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings.

A DNA stamp of subject Amoeba-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient genetic ooze has been synthesized and put inside the cartridge.

The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out an amoeba-like creature into the petri dish, now dubbed clone Amoeba-B.

Clone Amoeba-B is observed to have a nominal cytoplasm and membrane.

Clone Amoeba-B attempts to split and fails. Clone Amoeba-B does not cease its attempt.

[DELETED DATA]

Clone Amoeba-B expired.

Conclusion: The Printing Pod is now capable of printing healthy amoebas, however still incapable of reproduction.

Further research should focus on the effects of printing out multicellular beings.

Security code: B213, B215

Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out multicellular beings.

A DNA stamp of a Rattus norvegicus domestica dubbed subject Hibiscus-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze has been synthesized and put into the cartridge.

The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out a rat now dubbed clone Hibiscus-A. External appearances of clone Hibiscus-A similar to subject Hibiscus-B, but lacking a snout and having approximately 20% less mass.

Clone Hibiscus-A is fed sunflower seeds.

Clone Hibiscus-A defecates a healthy manure, indicating a healthy metabolism.

Conclusion: The Printing Pod is Capable of printing out multicellular beings. Dr. Shy has fully recovered from her shock. Glad to have you back.

Further research should focus on printing out sapient beings and perfecting the anatomical anomalies caused in the printing process.

Security code: B125, B213, B215

Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of cloning a pony.

A DNA stamp and brainmap of subject B125 is given to the printing pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze has been synthesized and put into the cartridge.

The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out a pony dubbed clone Duplicant-1. External appearances differ from subject B125 by shorter height and smaller body size, almost like a pony with dwarfism, a shorter snout, and a shorter horn.

Clone Duplicant-1 is incapable of speech. Vocalizations restricted to monosyllabic squeaks and noises typical of a theremin.

Clone Duplicant-1 shows extreme happiness upon seeing subject B125. Subject B125 and clone Duplicant-1 engaged in a one-sided conversation and the clone seemed to understand simple commands and offers such as “come here” and “would you like a cookie?”

Clone Duplicant-1 consumes a chocolate chip cookie.

Clone Duplicant-1 defecates a slimy substance typical of a symptom of diarrhea. Clone Duplicant-1 does not show any other symptom that indicates a problematic digestive system.

Clone Duplicant-1 is tasked to do a simple levitation spell and fails. An arcano meter shows no signs of magic activity. Clone Duplicant-1 shows signs of psychological distress upon failing the task. Subject B125 successfully calmed clone Duplicant-1 to its nominal psychological state.

Clone Duplicant-1 is shown pictures of subject B125’s past experiences and shows no response that indicates familiarity.

Clone Duplicant-1 is asked to do a moonwalk and does so successfully. Researcher shows signs of jealousy.

Clone Duplicant-1 is tasked with lifting Researcher B215 despite B215’s reluctance. Clone Duplicant-1 successfully shows her ability to lift things way heavier than herself by lifting all three ponies in the room simultaneously.

A consensus was made to not test clone Duplicant-1’s reproductive organs.

Conclusion: The Printing Pod is capable of cloning ponies with certain limitations, such as magical capabilities, anatomy, and memory retainment. Advantages found in the clone include excessive muscle strength and having a very positive outlook in life.

Further research should focus on perfecting the anatomical anomalies caused in the printing process.

Security code: B125, B213, B215

Hypothesis: A pony clone now dubbed a Duplicant can have their motoric movements be controlled by a microchip implant.

A brain surgery was conducted on clone Duplicant-1 to implant a microchip. Further specifications on the microchip can be found in the Physics Department.

A joystick from a Joyboy was used to control motoric movements of clone Duplicant-1. The clone moved its left front hoof upon given input. The clone shows signs of curiosity upon being released from motor control. No signs of psychological distress detected.

Conclusion: The cranial chip implant works and no ethics board is going to like it.

Further research should focus on what the hell to do now with the Dupe. And maybe figuring out a way to give her speech.

Security code: A001, B215

Hypothesis: A Duplicant does not retain basic survival instincts.

[DELETED DATA]

Clone Duplicant-1 terminated.

Conclusion: A Duplicant retains basic survival instincts.

Further research should focus on figuring out what the [CENSORED] is happening to Celly.

Security code: B215

Hypothesis: A Duplicant can be brought back to life after expiring to [DELETED DATA].

I couldn’t let Sunset know about this. Celly’s gone mad.

Conclusion: Rest in Peace.

Further research should focus on [EXCESSIVE USE OF PROFANITY DETECTED]

Security code: B125, B213, B215

Hypothesis: A Time Arrow Generator is capable of powering the Printing Pod without producing neutronium. A revised version of the software for the Printing Pod is capable of printing a Duplicant capable of multisyllabic speech.

A Time Arrow Generator of sufficient wattage is connected to the Printing Pod.

The Printing Pod is given a DNA stamp and brainmap of Subject B125 to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put in the cartridge.

The Printing Pod takes approximately 72 hours to charge before automatically functioning. The resulting clone is now dubbed clone Duplicant-2.

Clone Duplicant-2 is tasked to say “Hello” and successfully says, “Good Morning.”

Conclusion: The Printing Pod is now a perfectly self-sustained system and ready to be used on interstellar colonization efforts.

Further research should focus on creating an artificial intelligence capable of managing a colony of Duplicants. Requests have been sent to Physics Engineering.

Security code: A021, B215

Hypothesis: Detailed information on the physiology of a unicorn’s arcane nodes can be used to clone a Duplicant with magical capabilities.

A scan of Subject A021’s arcane nodes is done and given to the Printing Pod along with the DNA stamp and brainmap of Subject A021. A slight modification is made to include a cranial chip implant to be printed along.

The Printing Pod works as intended and successfully printed clone Duplicant-3 already with a cranial chip implant installed. Clone Duplicant-3 acts as a typical Duplicant.

Clone Duplicant-3 is tasked to do a simple levitation spell and fails. An arcano meter shows no signs of magic activity. Clone Duplicant-3 shows signs of psychological distress. Subject A021 successfully calmed clone Duplicant-3’s psychological state to nominal with a playpone magazine.

Conclusion: Detailed information on the physiology of a unicorn’s arcane nodes is not sufficient to create a Duplicant capable of magical capabilities. Duplicants show interest in conversations with sexual innuendos, but lack interest in the activity itself.

Further research should focus on recreating the experiment on other races. The one not involving playpone magazines.

Security code: A001, A021, A101, B215

Hypothesis: Detailed information on the physiology of a pegasus’ and an earth pony’s arcane nodes can be used to clone Duplicants with magical abilities.

A DNA stamp, brainmap, and nodal scan of subject A101 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.

The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-4. The clone is asked to touch an office plant. Three arcano meters fail to detect any magical activities.

Clone Duplicant-4 is found to have similar body odor with subject A101.

A DNA stamp, brainmap, and nodal scan of subject A001 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.

The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-5. The clone is asked to try to fly and fails. Three arcano meters fail to detect any magical activities.

Clone Duplicant-4 and Duplicant-5 are terminated upon request of subject A001. Subject A021 shows signs of extreme psychological distress after executing orders.

Conclusion: Detailed information on the physiology of a pegasus’ or an earth pony’s arcane nodes is not sufficient to create a Duplicant capable of magical capabilities. Celly does not see the Duplicants as sapient beings. Mr. Gutterson is too used to her [CENSORED] to care.

Further research should focus on convincing Celly that they’re still ponies.

Security code: A001, A021, B011

Hypothesis: A Duplicant printed from a sufficiently powerful unicorn is capable of magic.

A scan of Subject B011’s brainmap and arcane nodes are attempted simultaneously. Subject B011 is made aware of the things subject A021 is willing to do for the sake of keeping her occupation. Subject B011 struggles against the restraints of the neural vacillator.

Subject B011 successfully escaped scan before the brainmap scan finished. Damaged modules include: Empathy Module (23%).

Nodal scan of subject B011 complete.

Severe trauma to arcane nodes of subject B011 detected. First aid is given in sufficient time and subject B011 is sent to the medical compound.

A DNA stamp, incomplete brainmap, and nodal scan of subject B011 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.

The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-6. The clone is noticeably more hostile in nature and personality.

Reports from the medical compound details that subject B011 have 72 hours before expiring to complete nodal collapse.

Clone Duplicant-2, Duplicant-3, and Duplicant-6 terminated.

Conclusion: A Duplicant is incapable of magic.

Further research should focus on saving Twilight’s life.

Lulu

Security code: A001, manager.AI

Hypothesis: There’s still hope.

My dear little sister. I didn’t listen.

There’s still a way to save you. There’s still a way for you to live on.

Forgive me. I hope your friends succeed in their attempt, although I see no possible way they could.

Conclusion: Evidence suggests that you are correct in assuming they didn’t.

Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to fix your mistakes.

Raritwo

Twilight noticed that she was also dead-tired; she started seeing phantom images.

“I’m a little afraid to ask, but what are you going to do with that body?”

Or maybe because she went to the wrong room. “Rarity?”

“Belle. Rarity is, as far as I know, right there on your back.”

Twilight turned around. “I didn’t see anypony.”

She heard a sigh, then the weight behind her lifted. She jumped a little before turning around, then squinted. She was seeing doubles now. “Belle? Why are you two?”

Belle put Rarity’s (hopefully) unconscious body on her bed, then dragged Twilight by the hoof. “You’re overexerting yourself again, I see.”

“Am not!”

Belle put Twilight on the sofa. She stuttered a little before plopping gracefully on the handle. With a smile, Belle said, “I don’t really have much room in here, so preferably you’d be going to your own bed at downtime?”

Twilight let out a blissful sigh. “Yes. I’ve been sleeping on schedule, though. No way I’m overexerting myself.”

“Sleep deprivation isn’t the only form of pushing yourself too hard, darling.”

Twilight’s ears perked up at the downtime ping and the distant chiming. She chuckled and stared at the ceiling. “You actually made a music box?” She put her head back on the handle. “That sounds beautiful.”

“I didn’t know you like music.”

“For a few cycles’ worths of effort, that much is impressive.” She shuffled about before assuming a more comfortable position for her spine. “Anyway, how’s the research going?”

Belle trotted away and took a blueprint from her desk at the far end. “Your initial design doesn’t need much adjustment, but the problem now would be on the mass.”

“The biological cargo module is two thousand kilograms. My initial design didn’t get anywhere close.”

“No,” Belle slowly started, “but the minor adjustments that I made to make sure the rocket won’t split in half almost made it five.”

Twilight launched herself into a sitting position, all traces of tiredness gone. “Five tons?”

Belle gave her the blueprint and let her skim over it. She went to her refrigerator, took out two plates of frozen burgers, then put them on her back. “You can’t brute-force your way to every victory, darling. Frostbuns?”

Twilight put the blueprint down, took a deep breath, and straightened the frazzles under her cap. She took a plate of Frostbun and muttered a thank you.

Belle took a bite of her own bun. Swallowing, she said, “We’re back on square one.”

“Is this really how rocket science work?” She rolled the blueprint, put it aside, then started eating her bun.

“Jumping back and forth between everything and everypony and hoping it will eventually end?” Belle shrugged. “What do I know? I’m a Duplicant.”

“Our ancestors’ research notes make it look easy.”

“They’re not really written for other scientists, now, are they?”

Twilight sighed. “I suppose.”

“Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“Are you scared?”

She stared. “About this project? Why would I? It’s just a fun little experiment.”

Belle paused. Then, after a few seconds, “How old are you?”

“Somewhere around 250 cycles. Why?”

“Have you seen the... you know.”

“Our planet?”

Belle nodded.

“It’s... fascinating, I guess.”

“Do you know what Horizons IV’s main goal was?”

“Finding out what’s on the next asteroid ring. The Manager told me she was hoping for a helium giant for more niobium.”

“Was.”

Twilight swallowed a little too fast and coughed. “What?”

Belle put down her half-finished bun. Her expression told Twilight that she won’t be finishing it anytime soon. “You knew that the expedition had been in suspension before you were printed, right? Have you ever wondered why you needed to start everything over despite taking it over from Celestia?”

“I thought it was for me to learn.”

“No. The expedition’s first research aim was to find a way to make the sturdiest rocket possible.” Belle poked at her food and frowned. “The Biological cargo module is the only prototype hypothetically strong enough to not break on impact with the force field.”

“The what!?”

Belle put a hoof on Twilight’s snout and glanced at Rarity, still sleeping peacefully in bed. “The force field. The Manager wanted to know if it’s at all possible to get back to our home planet.”

Twilight shook her head. “But even then, what would there be to it? It’s a broken planet. Literally.” She looked at the ceiling. “You won’t find anypony in there. Magma and dust, probably. Molten silicon if you land in the crater straight to the core.”

“As you said, it was a fun little experiment.”

“Suicide is a fun little experiment!?”

Belle shushed her. The silence afterward suggested that Rarity had indeed been incredibly tired. “We abandoned it at the final notice.” She put the rest of her Frostbun back at the fridge. “Originally, I was about to be the guinea pig.”

Belle closed the fridge, turned around, then shrieked—for no more than a split second before she caught herself—when she met Twilight’s face. She glared and muttered a few gibberish words before stage-whispering, “Don’t do that!”

“’Guinea pig’?”

Belle slowly nodded. “Yes. Are you alright?”

Twilight put two hooves on Belle’s face. “No. The Manager is dumb sometimes, but she’s not that cruel. You’re lying.”

Belle pushed away Twilight’s hooves from her face. “I am not. I volunteered.”

Twilight opened her mouth, glanced at the lovely figure on the bed, then whispered harshly, “Why!?”

“Before I answer, may I inquire as to why you are so upset?”

“You volunteered on a suicide mission!”

“A mission that was disbanded when we found out it was a suicide mission.” Belle grabbed Twilight’s shoulders firmly. “Snap out of it, Twilight. The Manager knows what she’s doing.”

Twilight sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. I was about ready to throw a tantrum.”

“You better not.”

“So!” Twilight coughed. “Why?”

Belle blinked. Then she let out a nervous chuckle and slowly raised her shoulders. “...Artifacts?”

Twilight blinked. Then she let out the same nervous chuckle. “Artifacts.”

“Space artifacts, darling.”

“You agreed to launch yourself as a pony missile straight into a planet-wide Arcane Force Field to find shiny trinkets.”

“Why else would you go there!? Go to the rest of Alicorn tech. and find for your own skeleton?”

“That would actually be kinda cool.”

Belle grunted. “Don’t imitate Rainbow, please.”

Twilight chuckled. “Speaking of Rainbow, you think you can fix this problem soon?”

Belle nodded. “I’m going to find the little notes we have on foundry engineering. All we need is lightweight glass that won’t shatter upon launch.”

“Glass that won’t—” Twilight scrunched her eyebrows.

“...Twilight, are you having an epiphany?”

Twilight answered by jumping to the bed and harshly waking up Rarity. “Rarity! Wake up!”

Rarity jumped, yelped, then muttered a few things about voles and digging before focusing on Twilight. “Wha? Twilight.”

“Rarity, can you—”

“Twilight, dear, darling.” Rarity yawned. “Don’t you know better than waking Duplicants up in the middle of their downtime?”

“But this is serious! This is—”

“I have to agree with Rarity. We’re not exactly on a time constraint.”

Rarity blinked and focused on Belle. “Oh, hello, Belle.”

“Good afternoon, Rarity.”

“Rarity!”

Rarity growled. “Alright, what is it?”

“Do you have the notes on diamond welding?”

“Fluttershy does. It’s in the archive under her name.”

Twilight’s cap dropped to the ground as the support underneath it collapsed into quantum particles that shot out of the room. It fluttered gently, its sound upon landing breaking the imploding silence of the room.

Belle coughed. “Terribly sorry about that. You know how she gets at research.”

Rarity blinked away the rest of her sleepiness, to no avail. “Why am I in your room?”

“Twilight blanked out when carrying you.”

“Ah.”

“’Ah’ indeed.”

“...”

“...”

“I won’t be bothering you anymore, then.”

“Have a nice evening, Rarity. Here’s your hat.”

Rarity put her hat on and tipped it at Belle. “And you, Ms. Belle.”

Rarity opened the door. Rarity stepped back. Rarity and Belle stood side-by-side in front of the maniacal grin at a distance, hoping that one of them have a long enough stick to poke it safely.

“Belle, I think I figured it out!”

Rarity nudged Belle’s ribs. “I trust you can handle her?”

Belle coughed and rubbed her sides. “Yes. Now, if you could please notice how strong you are?”

“Sorry.”

“...Isn’t the archives a bit far from here?”

“It’s next to the printing pod.”

“Twilight, did you just galloped all across Bristle Acres?”

“I sure did!”

Rarity and Belle looked at each other. Then Rarity smiled. “Do you need some time alone, darling?”

“Well, if Belle could—”

“Oh, would you look at the time!” She gasped and looked at her nonexistent wristwatch. “It would be a wonderful time to visit the spa, don’t you think, other-me?”

“It’s almost night—” Rarity’s words were cut by Belle’s harsh nudge. And Twilight’s expectant look.

Disturbingly expectant. “Ah, right, it is a perfect time to visit the hot tub. Would you care to join us, dear?”

“But I have to—”

“Such a shame,” Belle said as she trotted to the door with Rarity in tow. “Well, we won’t be bothering you, then. Make yourself at home. The salt is in the fridge.”

The door closed behind them, then they galloped away. Rarity looked at the doppelganger. “...The fridge?”

“Don’t judge me.”

“Is it that bad, though?”

“I just so happen to not have a cabinet—”

“Twilight, I mean.”

Belle chuckled. “Oh, right. Well, believe me, you won’t be getting any sleep soon if you stay. We’re going to need to take care of her tomorrow, though. Speaking of taking care.”

They skidded to a halt, conveniently in front of the spa. Rarity smiled. “What I need is sleep, Belle. I don’t think sleeping at the sauna is a good idea.”

“Nor has anything our colony ever planned.” Belle opened the door and flourished. “After you.”

The two laughed and entered the spa, all the while another Duplicant took claim of Belle’s room for the rest of the night.

Turning the Day on and off Again

“Wake up, Rarity.”

Rarity woke up. The first thing she noticed as she opened her eyes was the noticeable lack of walls around her. The next thing she noticed was the mirror right in front of her face.

“...Belle?”

“It is I, Belle. It’s been two hours since the morning whistle.”

Rarity rolled over and saw, on the other side of the bed, a hot tub. “I fell asleep at the spa?”

“Quite comfortably, too.” Belle poked the cloud bed Rarity was sleeping on. “The spa girls decided to build you a bed because you fell asleep at the massage table.”

Rarity sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Well, I must say thank you then. Quickly, too; I think I’m a little behind schedule on the new mineshaft.”

“The Manager is currently gone.”

Rarity stared. Then she plopped back to bed and giggled. “Oh! It’s one of those days, isn’t it?”

“Indeed.” Belle coughed. “And because it is so that I must apologize for what I am about to put you through.”

Rarity shot back up and locked her eyes with Belle’s.

“Twilight. She’s not yet asleep.”

Rarity strained a smile. “And?”

Belle rubbed her hooves and forced a laugh. “I... Please help me?”

Belle opened the door gently—as gently as opening a mechanized door could be. Her bedroom was silent save for the hum of the refrigerator and Twilight’s breathing. The fridge was on one side of the room while Twilight was at the table opposite.

“Are you sure she’s not yet asleep?” Rarity whispered.

Belle shook her head. “I’m not taking any chances, darling.”

Rarity stepped into the room. She bathed in the pleasant chill that hides the one running down her spine. Looking back, she could see Belle’s encouraging smile and little gestures for her to move closer.

And so she did. Slowly. Carefully. “Twilight?”

No answer.

Rarity put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Twilight?”

Twilight jerked and stared at her with bloodshot eyes. “Y-yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m alright.” She stared at the blueprint in front of her. “I did it.”

“Congratulations, darling. Now, would you take some rest?”

She slowly moved her head to look at Rarity again. “Isn’t it morning?”

Rarity took a deep breath. “It’s a day off, Twilight. The Manager disappeared.”

“Oh.”

“Please, take rest.”

“Ok.”

“Now, it wouldn’t be—wait, what?”

Twilight slowly slithered her way out of the chair and gracefully plopped into Rarity’s back. “I’ll sleep.”

Rarity stared. “...Ah. Alright.” She trotted over to the bed and tucked her in.

Just like that.

“Just like that?”

Rarity put her hoof on Belle’s snout. A little too hard, causing Belle to let out an elegant yelp. “She’s already asleep,” Rarity whispered.

Belle rubbed her snout and stood up. “Ouch.”

“My apologies.” Rarity’s eyes never left Twilight’s sleeping form. “Why did you ask for my help again?”

Belle smiled. “Remember last time?”

“Last time?”

“A little over forever ago.”

“...Ah. Sunset and that time you nearly lost an eye.”

“I was talking about Twily and that time I nearly lost my skull, but that, too.”

Rarity stepped away and exhaled. “So.”

“So?”

Rarity stepped over to the table and took the blueprint. It was full of scribbles and numbers, and currently, she possessed no such software to process what they meant. “What exactly were you two trying to make?”

Belle moved her hoof around. “Something like a vessel.”

“A vessel?”

“A vessel for Duplicants. To take passengers without them needing to pilot the ship.”

Rarity squinted at the collection of squiggles and quibbles. “And this is?”

Belle peeked through her shoulder. “It would seem she had actually done it. I’m at a loss for words.”

“And what would a...” Rarity rotated the blueprint on its side. “’Sightseeing Module’ be useful for?”

“For sightseeing, of course!” She quickly added, “And artifacts to take back home!”

“Really? That’s all it does?”

Belle put her hooves on Rarity’s cheeks and moved them to where she could stare directly at her eyes. “Yes. Would you require an essay as to why she’s been putting all this effort into such a trivial pursuit?”

“...Yes?”

“Rainbow. Dash.”

“Yeah?”

”Nothing, darling!” both spoke at the same time. At the same time as well, together with four hooves, they hastily rolled the blueprint back.

“You called?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“No. I mean yes!”

“We’ve been talking about how amazing you are, Rainbow!”

Rainbow scratched her head, tipping off her hat. “Sorry, I don’t get all that.” She shook her head. “Anyway, does anypony know where the Manager’s been?”

“She’s gone, Rainbow,” Belle said.

“Not literally,” Rarity followed.

“We’re getting a holiday for a few days.”

“Oh, ok.” Rainbow trotted over. “What are you two doing, though?”

Belle put a hoof on Rarity’s snout. “Looking at Twilight.”

Rarity pushed Belle’s hoof away. “Watching over Twilight.”

“Staring at her beautiful sleeping form and fantasizing about kissing her awake.”

Rarity opened her mouth, then closed it back. She stared at Belle.

Rainbow followed her example. “What.”

“Oh, please. Haven’t you ever dreamt of romance?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow answered before Rarity could. “It was a nightmare.”

Belle huffed. “You simply have no taste in literary beauty.”

“Anyway!”

“Shh!”

In a lower voice, Rarity said, “Anyway. We have a few cycles off duty! Do you mares have any plans?”

“I’m on oxygen duty,” Rainbow answered flatly. “And we’re kinda running low on salt for the deoxidizers, which is why I need The Manager. Right now.”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity put her hoof over her shoulder. “Much ado about nothing. We have a few cycles for ourselves! Enjoy it while you can!”

Rainbow dragged Rarity’s head over and spoke in her ear, “Oxygen. Duty.”

“Well, that can wait for a few cycles, can’t it?”

“Not really, no.”

“Rarity’s right, darling.” Belle put her hoof over Rarity’s, Locking Rainbow in a marshmallow sandwich. Like an inverse S’mores. “Our duties can wait for some personal time, yes? How would an entire day at the arcade sound?”

“Suffocating?”

“Wonderful!” both Raritys voiced at the same time. “Let’s get Applejack!”

“And Fluttershy!”

“And die?”

“The only death would be the killing of the dance floor! We should get Sunset, too!”

“And Stinky!”

“And Gutterson!”

“And die.”

“And Dye!” Rarity blinked. “I didn’t know Dye could dance.”

“Is this how it feels to be the voice of reason?” Rainbow asked nopony in particular. “Because now I understand why they never talked to me.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Rainbow, we’ll invite Voice Reason too! Any grudge you two have can be settled during our little break!”

Everypony had gotten the notice of the day off. The Recreation Halls were teeming with Duplicants from all prospects of life, from Fluttershy to the Duplicant only printed ten cycles ago, from dedicated astronauts to janitors. There was more than enough entertainment for everypony, though, so queues weren’t a problem.

Rainbow Dash was in such a hall, and she decided to stand on the sidelines with all the other disgruntled couriers. “’Sup?”

One of them, a grey pegasus with a yellow mane and red jumpsuit, rolled her asymmetrical eyes. “The Manager disappeared.”

“Yeah, I know.” Rainbow stood beside her and joined at looking at everypony having fun with visible annoyance. “And now everypony’s going to die because nopony’s going to handle oxygen.”

Derpy looked at her confused. “What do you mean?”

“The deoxidizers!” She flailed her hooves. “They ran out of salt! We’ll run out of oxygen if we don’t refill them soon!”

“But what about the food?” Derpy asked. “I had some things to send to the kitchen, but Pinkie, Pie, and Pinkie Pie ran away, and now we won’t have any food!” She covered her face with her hooves. “Why is everypony so happy to starve!?”

“Oh, hush. We have enough food to last us several years.”

“And I thought there are automated oxygen generators that don’t need to be maintained?”

Rainbow and Derpy stared at each other. Then, they sat down and continued looking at everypony having fun with general annoyance, together with the rest of the disgruntled couriers.

On the far side of the hall, a few dozen ponies congregated in a semicircle around two pairs of dancing ponies. Sunset was dancing the Tango with Stinky, while Gutterson was having the time of his life dancing and teaching Applejack how to stay on two hooves.

In the middle of the hall were several vertical wind tunnels. Inside each one was three ponies, mostly younger pegasi, enjoying an artificial flight. Non-pegasi that entered could sometimes be seen flailing about and screaming for their lives.

Rainbow had entered one before, and she hated every second of it. It didn’t feel like flying for her; it was more like falling without a ground to fall into.

Between the two attractions was a mini-museum of pedestals displaying space artifacts. Belle was in the middle of it, happily telling stories of each trinket to anypony willing enough to listen, and there was no shortage of them.

Rarity was enjoying herself in Regoville Frontier’s Recreation Hall, which consisted mainly of sunbathing chairs exposed directly to the sun without any atmosphere between them; only a thick glass pane. It sounded like a bad idea until it wasn’t, at which point it would be the worst idea somepony could come out with, especially after prolonged periods without ever seeing sunlight.

All the Fluttershys were happily enjoying themselves among the myriad of critters all over the colony, along with most of the ranchers. The critters, in turn, enjoyed a peaceful moment of cuddles.

Twilight Sparkle was sleeping in Belle’s bed, dreaming of cloned sheep jumping out of a printing pod made of wool.

The Manager was 26 folders deep in trying to find that one cute video of an opossum she once recovered from Dr. Invicta’s tablet. It used some catchy copyrighted music for the background, and she was trying to remember the exact notes for use in the morning music box.

Time ticks slowly as Rainbow’s mind kept wandering back to the deoxidizers. She had successfully forgotten about it long enough to reach the juicer and poured some of the delicious blends of fruits into a cup, but not enough to put the cup to her lips.

Rainbow stood still in the middle of gossiping Dupes. The cup of juice stayed full in her hooves as she struggled to ignore the notification in her brain. It somehow felt more unbearable today.

After what felt like forever, Rainbow gave her cup to a random nearby Dupe and trotted away from the recreation hall. The notification that the deoxidizer needed a resupply was more pronounced now that there weren’t other ponies bothering her, but at least she didn’t have to worry about other ponies bothering her.

Twilight could call upon the Manager at will, somehow, so she should be able to do it too, right?

Rainbow sat on her haunches and thought hard. She tried imagining sending a punch to a ghost, but there was no response. She tried imagining herself shouting, ‘Hey, Manager!’ to the distance, and there was still no response. She tried to reimagine that feeling she had when a ping came from her belt, and still, only silence greeted her. She tried to queue a request for some salt, but just like the dozens of times before that, it didn't work.

Rainbow laid on her back, sighed, then said, “Manager, can you hear me?”

No response.

Rainbow punched a nearby wall.

A light Ping! came, telling her to stop punching the walls. Rainbow sat back up and grinned. “Yeah, you! You’re listening to me now!?”

She felt something nudging her brain, like a stray thought that randomly came, but accompanied with an unnerving feeling that it wasn’t hers.

“Can you hear what I’m saying?”

She got another nudge, but she couldn’t quite tell what it meant.

“Can’t you just talk?”

Another undecipherable nudge.

Rainbow grunted. “Alright, uh...” She held her two front hooves up. “Raise my right hoof if you can understand what I’m saying.”

Her right front hoof raised on its own. After a second, it came back down.

Rainbow chuckled. “Wow, this is so cool!”

Her right hoof raised again.

“So is this how you talk to Twilight?”

Her left hoof raised.

“Is that a ‘no’?”

Her right hoof raised.

“But then how do you talk to Twilight?”

The Manager nudged her mind again.

“She can understand that?”

Right hoof.

“How do you tell other Duplicants to do anything if only Twilight understands you?”

The Manager sent a command for her to move a few centimeters to the left.

“Oh. That was a stupid question, wasn’t it?”

Right hoof.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Right hoof.

“When you disappear like this, is it because you’re doing some secret evil meeting with other managers on other planets?”

Her left hoof raised slowly.

“Phew! So you’re not planning to make a Duplicant army to attack alien civilizations?”

Left hoof.

“You’re a lot more boring than I thought.”

A rather harsh nudge came to her brain, and Rainbow laughed. “So anyway, can you tell me where we have stray salt laying about? I need to resupply the deoxidizers.”

The Manager instead gave her the direction back toward the recreation hall.

Rainbow frowned. “Oh, come on! Aren’t you happy I want to work instead of lazying about? You liked that when we were still a young colony!”

She got a nudge.

“Do you disappear like this because you’re busy in your own world somewhere or are you just lazy? Left hoof if you’re ‘busy’ busy and right hoof if you’re ‘lazy’ busy.”

Right hoof.

“I knew it! You’re going soft after all these years!”

Nudge.

“I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Can’t you just, I don’t know, make a Duplicant write you something?”

She got no response for a while.

And then, out of nowhere, all the Duplicants could feel her presence once more. The dance floors quickly emptied out as the colony’s tasks suddenly queued back, the vertical wind tunnels turned off, dropping the ponies inside it fell harshly to the floor, and the couriers and gofers cheered as they could finally finish the nagging notification that couldn’t quite get away since they’re not considered ‘tasks’ in the most strict sense.

Some of the Duplicants scrambled away as they tried to fit their entire cycle’s tasks into the four hours left on the clock.

It was at around this moment that Twilight woke up, and was pleasantly surprised to be tasked with something to research instead of a delivery duty.

Author's Note

That feeling when you're ready to leave the game running through the night only to get a brilliant idea for a project and the next second, the sun rises.

Underground Space Ponies

She was nothing.

And then, she was something.

She felt it: her mind, slowly forming into consciousness. Her body, forming from a phantom image in her mind into actual limbs she can feel. Her senses, still numbed but definitely there, ready to welcome her to the world.

And then, her senses began . . . booting?

Starting from sight, all she saw was blinding white, even as she felt her eyelids shut tight. Her smell came next, bombarding her with the smell of metal and burnt ash. Her taste buds joined in, giving her a reference of how 'sweet' and 'sour' tasted like. Her hearing came last, and it was—

It was the most deafening sound of a steam whistle.

Twilight Sparkle groggily opened up her eyes, the images from her dreams slowly fading away. It wasn't the first time she dreamt of the seconds she got printed to this world, but it was still odd to relive those seconds again.

The lavender unicorn sat in her bed just as the cycle's start whistle stopped. Scrubbing the lingering drowsiness, she slumped back and took a quick glance at her room. It was small, dominated by the comfortable cloud-filled bed she was sitting on. To her left was a dull yellowish wall with a vent on the top right corner. To her right was a nightstand, on top of which her multitool belt and hat sat and inside of which two pairs of jumpsuits were neatly folded.

She eyed her hat and smiled. It was an odd hat: made of black metal tubes bound together to form a netting, with several lightbulbs prodding out. Many ponies called it a 'thinking hat', which she had no objections to. Some called it a 'silly hat', which she had many objections to and a full scientific journal proving why the term was incorrect.

But, no matter what other's opinions were, she held the hat close to her heart. It was a sign of her brilliance, of her dedication, and her love for the colony. It was given to her as a promotion in her career, from analyzing geographical features of the asteroid such as geysers, natural vents, and terrain, to analyzing astronomical features outside of the colony for further explorations and calculating routes for the spaceship's trajectory.

Noticing that she won't be removing any sleepiness by sitting down, she got up and fell into her routine: make her bed, put on her jumpsuit, strap on her multitool belt, and don her hat.

She turned from her bed to her desk on the other end of the room, on top of which many astronomical charts were strewn about. She eyed the one on the top, the one labeled 'Expedition: Horizons IV' and smiled fondly.

All three previous Horizons Expeditions had been led by the most capable astronaut of the colony, Celestia, which happened to be Twilight's mentor. All of them are projects so large and ambitious, they took at least two hundred cycles to prepare, and the mission itself a few dozen cycles long—most other expeditions would only take at most fifty cycles from planning to launch and decent.

And for that reason, she had overworked herself. She needed to prepare the expedition in less than a hundred and fifty cycles—no, a hundred cycles—to make her mentor proud and to prove to the Colony Manager that she, the youngest astronomer, was worthy of another promotion. A promotion to a Space Cadet.

And, with it, a chance to travel the vastness of space with her beloved mentor.

Her musings were cut short with a ping! from her multitool belt directly to her brain, indicating that she missed bath time. Oh, well, she thought. And, sporting a face of determination, she packed her charts into a saddlebag and opened the door.

She was immediately greeted by a yellow earth pony with orange mane and tail in a light blue jumpsuit, carrying a broom in his hoof. "Good morning, Miss Sparkle! Skippin' bath again, eh?" he said, tipping his blue janitor's hat that read 'Regoville Frontier'.

Twilight frowned. "Unlike a certain somepony, I work in a remarkably sterile environment," she said and, holding her nose, continued, "And, unlike the aforementioned pony, I don't need to take a bath twice a cycle to stay—oh, how do you say it?—odorless."

Stinky guffawed. "Right in the name, eh? Well, Good cycle to you!"

Twilight grumbled and stepped aside, letting him into her room. Every cycle, the same banter. Every cycle, she never succeeded in making him take the hint that she hated the interaction.

She shook her head and looked left. The sight was a familiar one: an aisle with rows and rows of doors, the first dozen of which led to bedrooms, while the others led to a workspace or storage of some kind. The aisle was wide enough for three ponies to fit side-by-side comfortably, allowing the Duplicants—that is, the ponies—to run in two directions without bumping to one another in case of an emergency. At the end of the aisle, almost a hundred meters away, she could see, just barely, the red light of the elevator leading to the surface—her destination.

Now, while right next to her bedroom was the stairs, they led to the solar panels, not the surface. The less bright of the Duplicants sometimes asked why the surface was so inaccessible, while the more knowledgeable ones would answer, 'So you won't go there and suffocate to death.'

Twilight walked with confidence and determination toward her destination. Along the way, she was occasionally greeted by other Dupes, mostly those also from floor 420. Luckily, most of them were electrical engineers that maintained the solar panels, and so was always in a hurry, only giving her a smile and a nod which she ignored.

Unluckily, she could never fill the previous sentence with 'all of them'.

"Hey, Twilight!"

Twilight grunted in annoyance as a blue unicorn easily caught up from behind. The mare was wearing a beige helmet with a gear symbol in its forehead, her blue horn protruding from underneath, indicating to Twilight's fear that she was, indeed, the floor's sole mechatronics engineer and the only one who always had time for small talk: Minuette.

Minuette gave her a mocking pout. "Aww, why the long face, Twi?"

Twilight grunted. "The lack of your absence, apparently."

As everypony else did, Minuette laughed. "Oh, you silly mare! Never cease to amuse me." She wiped a tear and continued, "Anyhow, are you by chance going to the surface?"

Twilight immediately perked up, her frown turned upside down and said in a cheerful voice, "Oh, of course not! Who would go up there every cycle, taking the same route, meeting the same friendly engineer, and asked the same question every time? Oh, wait, that's right—" she frowned "—Twilight Sparkle."

Minuette giggled and held a hoof to her muzzle while pointing her other at Twilight. "Hey, that's you!" She let out a hearty laugh despite Twilight's visible annoyance. "Oh, Twily!

"Anyway, conveyer belt #47 apparently overheated somewhere on the surface. I was going to fix it myself, but then thought, 'Hey, since that astrophysicist—"

"Astronomer"

"—walks so slow—"

"It's not my fault I'm anemic!"

"—she could definitely stop by and fix it, right?'"

While Minuette was right about her being more than capable to fix some glorified soulless courier, the anemic astronomer wasn't amused by her knowledge and leveled a stare. "And why would I, a functioning part of this colony that actually worked, take a task assigned to a piece of walking furniture that occasionally screws some loose bolt?"

Minuette hummed. After a while, she said, "I'll make you coffee tomorrow morning."

Twilight opened her mouth, then, as a thought hit her, shut it back. The only black coffee in fifty floors.

". . . Tonight. And make it extra strong."

Minuette grinned and extended a hoof. "Espresso, tonight. Deal!"

Twilight ignored the hoof and continued walking. As she did, Minuette trotted ahead of her, leaving her behind and headed for the other flight of stairs.

The elevator bell chimed as she reached the topmost floor. As the door opened, she was greeted by a row of a dozen spacesuits hanging in their docks and a spacesuit checkpoint, reminding ponies to wear them before passing through.

With practiced ease, Twilight got into one and disconnected it from its dock. Taking the first step, she staggered, but then rightened herself up just as quickly. The second step and third quickly followed and soon Twilight was walking, albeit a lot more slowly, to the airlock doors at the end of the room.

The door beeped once and automatically opened, letting her inside the pressure chamber. Once she's in, the door slammed shut behind her, followed by the sound of gas pumps vacuuming out the chamber.

Halfway through, her suit began pressurizing itself and pumped out oxygen to her helmet and body. Her head felt like it would burst and her ears popped, so she began swallowing air until she could hear again without feeling trippy.

After two full minutes, the pressurization for her suit and the chamber stopped, and at almost the same time her body began adjusting to the air pressure. She breathed a sigh of relief; even after a hundred times doing that, it only got slightly more tolerable.

Above her, something clicked and the automated grid began opening the bunker doors in front of her, three times as big as the airlocks behind her and took a moment longer to open.

And it was scientifically correct, for a moment is by definition a fortieth of an hour.

After the scientifically correct moment had passed, Twilight began the slow and heavy walk toward the observatory in the distance.

Author's Note

A moment = 90 seconds (averagely)

Exposure to Space May Cause Serious Injuries, Loss of Career, and Friendship

Of the three thousand Duplicants living in the space colony of Equestria, only a few dozen had seen the Surface. They're mostly astronauts, space cadets, miners, electrical engineers, or, like Twilight Sparkle, astronomers.

While being there was considered a privilege, nopony regretted never being there, and the sight that Twilight saw answered why: the surface was desolate, almost a wasteland, with nothing interesting but regolith hills, regolith valleys, and the occasional regolith craters. Oh, and never forget the Shove Voles, small drill-like critters that occasionally poked their cute, innocent heads from underground, ready to be caught, mercilessly murdurized, and cooked into delicious dinners.

With tonnes of regolith covering the asteroid, finding a landmark from a random point would be like finding a leather jacket in space, for there were only four across its entire surface. Luckily, two of those were only twenty meters apart, and Twilight came from one (the colony's entrance) to go to the other (the observatory).

The other two landmarks were, of course, the currently closed launchpad opening and four hundred square meters of solar panels. The solar panels were currently exposed to space, having the heavy bunker doors—exactly like the ones Twilight had just gone through—above them opened up, ready to be automatically closed at a moment's notice of incoming meteor showers.

Seeing the doors opened eased a part of Twilight's mind. Or, for that matter, anypony's. Knowing that the sky wouldn't fall on the Duplicant's fragile, squishy heads for the next few hours was a nice thing to have in mind.

As Twilight trudged her way across the Surface, she looked around for the labeled poles here and there, searching for the one marked 47.

45 . . . 46 . . . Ah, there it is, 47!

Reaching the pole, Twilight pressed a button on her multitool belt, and something akin to a laser gun twice the size of her head appeared from one of the pockets directly above her back. Twilight let out a little "Oomph!" as it landed on her, its nozzle mounted on her right shoulder.

Twilight pondered for a split second on how the phrase 'laser gun' described it well, for it emits a ray of precise electromagnetic radiation in such a way to break the molecular structure of the target it's pointed at. The thought evaporated, however, when she saw the brand Alicorn Tech etched in its sides, along with the name Mining Guntm 3.0 right below it.

Indeed, calling it a 'mining gun' would save a lot more time than 'laser gun used for precise excavation and demolition'. It would also prevent any sort of confusion from the audience, awarding explainers with less time wasted on useless social interactions that could otherwise be spent on colony maintenance.

So she did just that, and carefully dug out the regolith until she hit a metal surface. When she did, she started going sideways, looking for the latch. As soon as she found it, she turned her mining gun off, which responded by retracting to her pocket, and opened the latch.

She was greeted by a cloud of smoke. Luckily, there's a thick layer of glass between it and her face, protecting her from the need of taking an early bath. She wiped her helmet clean with her two-layered-gloved hoof and inspected the damage.

The conveyor belt itself didn't suffer. Instead, it was the motors that overheated and malfunctioned. Upon further inspection, she found that the overheating was caused by the leak from the massive pipe underneath it, sending near-boiling coolant all around the entire junction, frying the electrical and automation grid as well. It seemed that somepony below had shut the pipe, for by then it was merely dripping.

She estimated that she needed at least fifteen kilograms of iron ore for the pipe and both grids and ten kilograms of refined copper for the belt. She only brought five kilograms of refined copper.

Doesn't matter, she thought, I only need to fix the conveyor belt, anyway.

After she finished fixing the conveyor belt, she closed the latch back and continued her slow and uneventful walk towards the observatory.

The small airlock chamber locked behind her as she stepped into the observatory. As soon as it did, she took off the spacesuit as quickly as she could. Without the helmet between her nostrils and the room's air, she quickly caught the familiar smell of paper and smiled.

The observatory was claustrophobic, what with all the tables and astronomical charts covering almost every centimeter of available space. The only unoccupied space was that between the telescope's seat and the entrance, a grand total of one meter long. Barely enough for a Dupe to walk and operate the observatory.

Twilight carefully stepped through the piles of papers into the seat and ungracefully plopped down. As was usual, it wasn't comfortable to sit in with her multitool belt on, so she unstrapped it and dropped it to one of the tables along with her saddlebag.

The position sent her into a familiar bliss, and soon she was already holding a pencil and unrolled her latest chart.

Hours went by unnoticed, but it was of no concern to anypony, especially Twilight. She didn't need the multitool belt to notify her of the time, for the bunker door above the observatory was automated by the automation grid to close an hour before downtime to give her time to travel back and reach Regoville Frontier's Grand Hall before dinner.

Or, at rare moments, when the radar detected an incoming meteor shower, in which case her beautiful moments with the beauty of space would be mercilessly cut short.

A knock came from the door. Twilight frowned and wondered who might be visiting. Hopefully not Minuette; she had done that once because she thought—

Another knock came which alerted Twilight. Mainly because she heard it as a deafening SLAM on the door.

She tip-toed from her chair to one of the windows on the side, wondering what the ruckus was about. She found out that the ruckus was a molten block of copper coming straight into her vision.

She jumped aside too late, but fortunately, the window was thick enough to stop the meteor. Unfortunately, it's not enough to not crack at the impact, bleeding out oxygen into space.

At the sudden drop of pressure, an alarm blared that told anypony inside that the ventilation system was shut down from the facility, preventing further loss of oxygen.

Twilight wondered with disdain at whoever came out with that logic. She also wondered why the automation grid didn't shut the bunker—

And she remembered that the grid at #47 connected the radar to the observatory's bunker door.

"Well, crap."

Another SLAM from above broke her out of her stupor. Thinking quickly, she grabbed her spacesuit and put it on, but not before packing her precious charts underneath it.

As she finished suiting up, she stepped into the airlock chamber and waited for the second door to open.

She found out that the rude knocking from before was a metric ton of regolith slamming right at her door, as was seen from the grey sand hugging her tight as soon as the door opened.

Twilight stepped out from the pile of regolith and stumbled into the floor.

Alright, she thought, there's a meteor shower outside that can destroy the observatory. I'm locked inside the observatory. With both information, I can deduce that there's a meteor shower that can destroy me along with the observatory.

That's bad. To avoid a bad situation, think. Wait no don't think just dig dig dig why is regolith so hard to dig oh, right, the mining gun yeah that can really help right now but where is it!?

In the midst of her panic, she didn't notice her multitool belt right underneath her hoof until it got tangled and tripped her. Putting it on, her mind was bombarded with a plethora of direct commands from the Colony Manager telling her to get out of the observatory. She was also notified that up to twenty floors down, the colony had been put in Red Alert and every activity, including oxygen generation, had been suspended to focus on getting her out of there. Some Dupes had already been on the entrance airlock chamber, hopelessly waiting for the bunker door to open, while others are trying to dismantle the thick walls protecting the solar panels to let them through.

Another meteor struck the side of the building, this time big enough to shoot right through the wall, missing centimeters from Twilight.

As luck gave it, the hole was big enough for her to slip through.

Once outside, the sudden change in pressure caused her suit to pressurize, leaving her stumbling through the surface at a general direction of the colony entrance.

A regolith meteor nearly missed Twilight, forcing her adrenaline-induced brain to focus. She began trotting in a straight line, but still too slow for her to not panic or for the Colony Manager to not flip out and send her another two dozen commands of 'RUN FASTER'.

A meteor of molten iron flew by, impacting right behind her. Twilight felt as if the meteor shower was meant specifically for her.

Until she looked up, at least, by which she saw meteors coming by the dozens, spraying the surface with more rocks than Stinky spraying anypony with his body odor.

Panicking was by then justified. Not preferable, but justified.

Justified because even the Colony Manager dropped the Red Alert another ten floors down and began to desperately command the Dupes to dismantle the bunker door instead of waiting for it to open.

Not preferable because it caused her to stumble and hit her helmet to the surface. A huge crack appeared across her helmet, letting out an audible hiss and a visible stream of precious oxygen.

Twilight felt time slow down as she processed the situation. Looking up, she felt relieved to see the bunker door, already two-thirds open, only three strides away.

She pulled herself up and began to jump. Due to the heavy spacesuit she was wearing, her jumps were pathetically short, but nonetheless still faster than trotting.

Her anemia caught up, and the edges of her vision went dark, despite her hyperventilating. Unable to keep her pace, she resorted to walking, slowly but surely, to the bunker door.

Just another step away . . .

The bunker door was happy to see her so close. It was so happy, in fact, that it chose to let go of its hinges for a hug.

"OH, YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING—"

Unfortunately, Twilight, bunker doors don't have the mental capacity for comedic banter. Yes, we know, a crushing hug had never been so painful nor literal.

A Comprehensive Guide to Starting and Maintaining a Loquacious Verbal Communication With an Academically Non-Inclined Duplicant for Derivatives of Blueprint 547769

...was an actual book entry in the database. It was only five pages long with the first four pages explaining the different disabilities other Duplicants have and how some topics shouldn't be used for which disabilities. The last page only said, "Further research required."

And who better to perform the aforementioned further research than a derivative of blueprint 547769?

"Now remember: once you feel your muscles strain, stop moving, and let yourself drown. You're in a spacesuit. You won't."

Twilight nodded and steadied her breath. There was a voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her not to lash out at Rainbow with a detailed explanation of what anemia is, but there was also another voice behind that one that told her it was The Manager's voice. In her current state of exhaustion, the logical part of her brain couldn't decide on which of those were her conscience and which were The Manager pulling a mental prank.

And so she listened to the other voice, the one she could hear well.

Rainbow slowly let go of Twilight and backed away. She watched as Twilight moved her hooves as she showed her, albeit stiffer and looked more like sudden jerks than a smooth pedaling motion.

Twilight slowly swam toward the ladder. She was able to stay afloat for longer than before. Her vision started to go dark on her peripherals, so she stopped and let herself drown.

As promised, she didn't. She reached the bottom of the pool and stood there hyperventilating. Her hooves were aching more than ever before. She wished she could just lay down there and sleep and hope that, when she woke up, a swimming software had been invented, and she could simply go to the printing pod to learn it.

Rainbow dropped down in front of her. "You alright?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"Yes," she breathed out. "Just a little... tired."

Rainbow looked up, then back at her. "It's almost downtime. You want me to carry you?"

"I can walk just fine, thank you very much," she said as she collapsed on her first step.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and carried Twilight on her back. There was a grunt, but no more complaining afterward.

Twilight woke up to the downtime ping.

The air was warm. The steady rhythm of Rainbow's trotting tempted her back to the realm of dreams. Her warmth almost made her snuggle to a ball.

The familiar cacophony of the Great Hall fully woke her up. She blinked the rest of her sleepiness away and stretched her sore hooves as far as being on somepony's back allowed her. She wriggled.

Rainbow stopped. "You're awake?"

"Yes. Can you put me down, please?"

Rainbow did as asked. "How's your sleep?"

"Good," Twilight answered as she started trotting forward. "I may not sleep tonight because of this."

Rainbow walked beside her. "You researchers do that quite often, though, right?"

"I don't know about others. Why don't you ask Sunset?"

"Sunset never sleeps outside her schedule," she answered almost instantly. "Twily as well. Mainly because she's only a part-time researcher."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Really? Wasn't the research back then more intensive?"

"Not really." Rainbow stopped, helping Twilight realize that they were already in front of the door to the Great Hall. Rainbow continued as they entered, "Back then, most of our times were spent scouring the area for buried muckroots. Research only got crazy after our first ever ranch was set up." She looked at her curiously. "Say, you're a lot more chatty than usual."

"Tiredness promotes social interaction," she said as she yawned. "And as long as I think it's true, it will be true."

"Really?"

"It's called the Placebo Effect."

"Plasma-what?"

Twilight shook her head. "Nevermind." She took a seat next to Rainbow, where her place had been ever since she was transferred. "Oh, by the way?"

Rainbow leaned back on her chair. "Yeah?"

"You still remember the early days?"

"Yep." She stood straight and grinned at her. "I might not be smart, but—" she poked her own head "—you can count on me to remember everypony."

Twilight raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Oh, really?"

"Ha! Try me."

"Who's Duplicant #2700?"

"Raven. White coat, dark brown mane. She worked at The Industrial Sauna for metal refinery before getting transferred to Quantum Forge in Wheezefreeze."

Twilight blinked. A quick mental queue told her exactly what Rainbow had said, but without details on Raven's career history. She felt a chill running down her spine. "Uh, Duplicant #0289?"

"Bucky. Contributed a lot to excavating The Void before getting himself stuck there. Rest in peace."

Duplicant #0289 "Bucky": Age 560 cycles. Cause of death: asphyxiation.

Rainbow wriggled her eyebrows.

Twilight shook her head. "You could've just taken those from the database and made things up." She stared at the ceiling. "She did, didn't she?"

The Manager returned a negative.

"I didn't know you can just ask The Manager for somepony's personal information before you did it," Rainbow said. "I think she likes you."

"For personal reasons, I'm sure." She ignored The Manager's nudge.

"How's she like?"

Twilight whipped her head. "What?"

"The Manager. I never talked to her before."

"Me neither." She stared at her hooves and hoped that The Manager could go away for a second. "She only nudged me here and there, gave me commands to tell a message." She felt The Manager's presence more heavily now, like she was the center of attention. It made her a little uneasy, but at the same time safe and that everything was going to be alright. "How about out there?"

"Huh?"

"Out there in space. Does The Manager still bother you when you're on a mission?"

Rainbow shifted uncomfortably. "Uh..."

"You've been there, right? Of course you have." She sighed. "It's such a privilege to fly a rocket. You're the best courier in the entire colony—I'm sure you have a lot of stories about the destinations I could only watch from the telescope."

"Well, yes, of course, I have—"

Twilight's eyes popped. She stared at Rainbow. "Sorry, I..."

Rainbow gave her a questioning look. "Twilight?"

Twilight pushed the chair away and galloped out of the Great Hall, ignoring Rainbow's call and the looks from the other Dupes.

The Manager didn't urge her to get back to the hall and eat, which was fortunate. There weren't any urgent commands for her to get back to Bristle Acres, too, which was a blessing.

The Stellarium was always empty. Twilight liked it partly for that.

She also liked it because the diamond-glass dome was the safest place to admire the sky. There was only a small telescope at the end of the room—which was massively inadequate for interstellar research—but there was a lack of meteors around, too. The bunker doors above it were built on the same grid as those for the solar panels, which were maintained at all times by the Electrical Engineers. Unlike the one above the observatory.

The door behind her opened. A quick glance told her it was Minuette. "Twilight?"

Twilight turned her head back to the sky. "Hello, Minuette."

"I brought you dinner." She gave her a plate of Surf 'n Turf.

"The Manager told you to do it, didn't she?"

"Yes," Minuette answered. "What are you doing here?"

Twilight sighed. "Leave me alone, please."

Minuette did as asked. Twilight glared in a random direction. "You don't need to babysit me all the time, you know? She could've done that herself."

The Manager gave her an apologetic nudge.

"Sorry," she said after a while. Then, "How did I do? Have I been friendly enough in the past cycles?"

The Manager told her that she was improving.

"Are you proud of me?"

The Manager gave her an affirmative.

"I've always been focusing so much on making Celestia proud," she slowly started, "I've never seen you as anything but an annoyance."

No response.

"You still are. Why won't you leave me alone? Why don't you go bother somepony else or, I don't know, start a new ridiculous project on an empty part of the asteroid? Maybe make a giant music box that you can play?"

Still no response.

"I guess I'm your current ridiculous project, aren't I?" Twilight pinged The Manager before she could respond. "I'm not upset. I'm a little flattered, actually. I'm not incapable of that. My Ego Module is working perfectly." She looked at her dinner and set it aside. "But can I ask you a question? Some questions, actually."

The Manager told her to do so freely.

"Why won't you talk to us directly? Can you actually do it?"

The Manager returned a negative.

Twilight sighed. "Sorry." She raised a hoof. "Next question."

The Manager waited.

"Why haven't you ever sent Rainbow Dash on a space mission?" She scowled. "If anything, she deserves it. If anything, it's because I know that everypony else from the early days has done it. You've sent hundreds of rockets for matters so trivial that they don't qualify as space programs and were launched without proper preparation! You literally build a rocket, fill it with fuel, then download the Astronomical Research and Rocket Navigation software to the Duplicant of choice. It's not that hard to trade in some software with another!"

The Manager went silent for a few seconds before sending her Rainbow's bio.

Twilight felt lightheaded. "What? She—" She shook her head. "No, no, she may be a little dumb but she couldn't be—"

The Manager resent the bio and highlighted her disability.

Yokel
Cannot do Researching errands

"Why!?" she screamed. "Why did you ever picked that blueprint in the first place!?" She shook away The Manager's nudge. "Oh, great. Just as I thought I've been doing good I messed up and I didn't know it!" She grunted. "How upset she must be!? Wasn't it Rainbow's dream to go to space? I remember her saying something about space, but was it about dreaming to go there? Or was it about flying? Why was I so focused on proving you wrong!?" She made some gibberish noises. "And I've just figured out that she'll never be able to fly. Her blueprint was a pegasus! How devastating can it be!?"

"It's not as bad as you think."

Twilight yelped and whirled around. "Rainbow! I—"

"I do dream of getting to space." Rainbow gave her a smile. A genuine one, Twilight could tell, because Rainbow was very bad at lying. "I've come to accept that I'll never leave the ground." She spread a wing and stared at it. It was small and stubby, just like any other pegasus Dupe's wing. There's no way it could be used to lift an entire pony. "As you said, I got time to practice things."

Twilight shook her head and stepped forward. "Rainbow, I... I'm sorry." She swallowed. There were times where it was impossible for her to understand how others feel about something, but going to space had been in her code since she was printed. She felt something sizzle inside her skull. "It's not fair."

Rainbow shrugged. "Totally not. Also, since when are you into sappy things?" She trotted toward her and laughed. She put a wing on her back and sat.

Twilight sat down. Her dinner showed up on Rainbow's hoof and she mindlessly took it.

Rainbow took a bite out of her Surf 'n Turf. Twilight just stared. "You gonna eat that or what?"

"Is this how you cope with grief? By making jokes and changing topics?" Twilight took a bite from it.

Rainbow swallowed her food. "I'll say yes, but then you'll talk nerdy even more and I probably won't understand anything you say, so, no."

Twilight giggled. "Of course, Rainbow." Her eyebrows rise up and she tried to hide her growing smile from Rainbow. And the newly-formed idea inside her head from The Manager's prying eyes. "Of course."