Teacher, Instructor, Dash!

by HapHazred

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 7422

Rainbow is sent to fill in for an instructor at the Wonderbolts Academy... only for her to discover a plot to retire her from the team early! Probably...

Rainbow is sent to fill in for an instructor at the Wonderbolts Academy by Spitfire whilst the team handles a dull and uninteresting tour abroad.

After meeting the small team of promising recruits, Rainbow begins to worry that her position is a little more permanent than originally advertised! The only course of action is to hatch a plan or two to get out of it... and hopefully teach the recruits something along the way.

Written for the Write an Episode challenge, details of which can be found here.

Published 2019-06-20 21:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-20 21:30:01 UTC

New Job at the Academy

Applejack and Pinkie both cheered as the pegasi in the skies drifted to a slow stop. Pennants and flags waved amongst the small crowd of flying enthusiasts that had gathered along the cliffside to watch the Wonderbolts and other flying teams from across Equestria compete.

“Woo! Go Dashie!” Pinkie screamed.

Soaring in-between two clouds, Rainbow emerged triumphantly. She performed a last loop-de-loop for good measure, and then drifted down to greet her friends as the rest of the Wonderbolts and competitors all flew to their respective groups in anticipation for the judges’ decision. She glided over the tents and vending stalls that had cropped up around the event, brushing through excited ponies and flying enthusiasts with practised ease.

She would attend to those later.

“Hey guys!” she exclaimed, landing with a controlled trot. She brushed her goggles out of her eyes. “Enjoy the show?”
Pinkie nodded vigorously. “It was the best!” She pointed at the other flyers, all wearing an assortment of different colours depending on what team, city, or group they represented. “They’re all so good! Not as good as you of course though, you daring, demonstrably daredevilish derring-do doop-whoop spin-around-then-whoosh…”

Rainbow chuckled. “Yeah, uh, and how about you, AJ?”

“Beats watchin’ apples grow.” Applejack grinned. “Nice flying. Liked the, ah, spinny-hoo-ha thing.”

“The triple-twister deluxe.”

“That thing, yeah.”

Rainbow brought a hoof to her chest. “Well it did take some practice. Requires a lot of coordination with the team; not something you just pick up on your own.” She smirked. In the background the sounds of pegasi swooping by served as a suitably dramatic backdrop to her pause. “Not that I couldn’t have if I tried. It’s all about how you practice, and I know how.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “O’course.”

“Hey! Dash!”

All three ponies turned to face Spitfire flying towards the group. The Wonderbolt captain gave a brief nod to Applejack and Pinkie before fixing her eyes on Dash. “Rainbow, we have a situation at the Academy.”
Rainbow’s ears perked up. “Oh? What is it? Is it important?” She bounced on the spot. “Is it secret and cool and only I can do it?”

“Lieutenant Crop is on sick leave. We need somepony to cover for him.” Spitfire paused. “We need you to be in charge for a bit.”

Pinkie gasped. Applejack raised a curious eyebrow, as well as a cautiously nervous smile, watching for Rainbow Dash’s inevitable reaction.

Rainbow Dash inhaled, collecting herself. “I get to be in charge? Do the Lieutenant’s job?” She giggled and flew up into the air. “So awesome!”

“I need to run by what you…” Spitfire held her hoof up, and then stopped. She looked over at Applejack.
“Is she… still listening to me?”

“Nope.”

The Wonderbolts Academy was buzzing with activity when Rainbow arrived, her uniform and equipment in a bag slung over her withers. She sailed over the runway, before landing on the grass with a confident spring in her step.

This was going to be good! She was going to be in charge of Lieutenant Crop’s job for a few days! That was epic. Crop had loads of responsibilities, and only somepony that Spitfire truly trusted would get the task of running the show at the Academy whilst the rest of the team handled busywork at Headquarters.

“Morning, Dash!”

Rainbow waved at the older stallion pushing a cart full of training equipment. “Morning Steamcloud!” She breathed in through her nose. What a perfect start to a perfect…

“Uh, s’cuse us? Where’s this thing get landed?”

Rainbow turned around to see Pinkie and Applejack’s balloon sink towards the runway. She held her hooves against her head.

“Not on the runway!” Rainbow exclaimed. “That’s for pegasi travelling at insane speeds to land on…”

Applejack turned to Pinkie. “Little to the left, then.”

Pinkie nodded and began pulling the strings controlling the direction of the balloon, steering the craft away from the runway. “Okie-dokie! And it’s port!”

Rainbow groaned. “You guys didn’t have to follow me back here. I know the way, after all.” She gestured to the Academy. “I, uh, work here?”

Applejack leapt out the balloon and tied it down to a post. “Wouldn’t miss findin’ out what this Captain Crop does that’s so important you need to take over.”

“Nothing a flyer in her prime can’t handle,” Rainbow quipped with a self-satisfied smug. "And it's Lieutenant Crop." She began strutting down the runway towards the Academy proper, where a small congregation of pegasi (and a lone griffon) were assembling. “It’s probably something that only a true expert of flying, an athlete in peak physical condition can handle.” She reached the assembly of ponies and stopped, looking at them as if for the first time. “Uh, who are you? You’re not Wonderbolts.”

One of the pegasi stepped forwards. “Miss Dash? Are you the replacement instructor?”

Rainbow giggled and shook her head. “Pfft, nah, that’s something either the Captain does to show off or something old flyers do when they’re not as good at flying any more.” Rainbow broke out into a laugh. “Besides, that’s Lieutenant Crop’s responsibility right now.”

Rainbow continued chuckling to herself, at times stopping to mutter ‘me, an instructor’ to herself in an amused tone. The assembly of ponies frowned, confused, and looked over at Applejack.

“Give her a second, she’ll get there eventually,” Applejack told them.

Rainbow stopped giggling. “I’m the instructor?”

The ponies nodded. “Y-yes, you’re Rainbow Dash, right?” asked the griffon. “Lieutenant Crop is away taking care of his foal for a few days and we were told you’d take over his classes…”

Rainbow breathed in, her mind racing. She could fix this, she could fix this.

“Yes. Yes! I am the instructor. The instructor! Yeah, that’s, uh, me.” She puffed her chest out. “I knew that! I paid lots of attention to what Spitfire told me and was not distracted at all.” Her eye twitched. “…Twenty laps! Big ones, fast ones, go! Go, go, go ,go!”

The two ponies and griffon both broke out into canters and took off, startled. Rainbow wiped her forehead with her hoof.

“Smooth,” Applejack commented. “This is what happens when you get excited and don’t listen.”

Rainbow’s wings flared. “Who cares about that? I’m… it’s fine, I like teaching ponies. It’s easy, you just help them do what you did but like they should do. Or… something.” She frowned. “I’ll figure it out! It’s just a bit strange that the Wonderbolts want me to teach this soon. Usually that’s… like an end-of-career thing.”

One of the staff emerged from a nearby shelter for equipment. He smiled when he saw Rainbow Dash. “Oh, you’re here.” He looked up into the sky at the three recruits doing laps around the academy. “I see you’re already acquainted with the recruits.”

Rainbow looked up at the stallion with a start. Any Wonderbolt with half a brain knew Clutter. The permanently smiling and disturbingly jovial stallion was always around to help with the gear, plumbing, cooking, and virtually every aspect of Wonderbolt life. Rainbow also knew that Clutter was a notorious blabbermouth, to the point where he was less a general dogsbody and more a free-for-all spy that reported on anything and everything.

What was frightening was that nobody was even sure how he did it. It was just that anything done in the nearby vicinity of Clutter tended to end up as common knowledge, sometimes as far away as Griffonstone. One of life’s greatest mysteries was how Clutter had achieved this, but achieved it Clutter had.

Rainbow sighed, decided to watch what she said around the walking leak of an equine being. “Not exactly, I sort of just made them do laps whilst I figure out what to do next.”

“Of course, Lieutenant Crop’s favourite trick.” Clutter scratched his head. “It’s a bit unusual, I know, but they’re three promising ponies… most of them… and Crop insisted they get to see a real Wonderbolt up close.”

Rainbow remembered training at the Academy under Spitfire. It was hard, and there had obviously been complications at the time, but she did remember that it helped her to be given instructions from an established member of the team. You knew that you were given meaningful advice when it came from somepony who had to live the job every day.

“I guess that makes sense.” She stroked her chin. “I would make an amazing role model.”

Applejack put her hoof on Rainbow’s side to attract her attention. “Listen, this is all startin’ to sound mighty technical. I’m going to take the balloon back to Ponyville; I’ll swing by your favourite hang-out to see how you’re enjoyin’ your new job.”

“Temporary job!”

“Yup, sure.” Applejack waved. “See ya, RD.”

“Bye AJ.”

Rainbow returned to pondering. Teaching wouldn’t be bad, she thought, if it was temporary. She liked the academy, after all, and she liked being around younger flyers… it reminded her of the good old days when she was still scrambling for attention from Equestria’s top flyers. Besides, it’d be good for the recruits too, to meet her and listen to her advice and have a contact in the team for later, if they made the cut.

Plus she’d make sure things would be different than when she was a recruit at the Wonderbolts academy. No tornadoes, no dangerous behaviour, and no uncool risk-taking. Well, maybe a little, but not risking other ponies for sure.

“Sounds good to me,” she said to the staff member who had approached her. “How long is Crop away?”

“Couple days. I have his schedule if you’d like.”

Rainbow was handed a piece of paper with a list of dates and activities written on it. Most of it was training, wing-ups, complex manoeuvres, wing-ups, some theory, and lots of wing-ups. Rainbow swallowed. Wow, that was a lot of wing-ups. Could she even still do that many wing-ups?

She knew she could do one-hundred wing-ups in a row, but then they ached a lot the rest of the day and she needed to stretch them out properly and really just liked having, like, a yogurt or something to calm down and relax… Maybe watch somepony else do wing-ups, and maybe have a nice relaxing fly-about and do some loop-de-loops…

Wait a sec, that kind of thinking was trainer thinking, not peak performance thinking. Of course she could do it. All of it. Twice, probably, with only a short break in the middle to have some water and maybe an hour long nap. No! No naps.

Maybe a small nap?

“Okay, let’s do this,” Rainbow declared, determined. “Peak performance Rainbow Dash! I can do this!”

Clutter looked askance at Rainbow. “Uh, okay.”

“And no naps!” Rainbow exclaimed to herself, determined so psyche herself up.

“Aw.” The stallion looked downcast. Rainbow dismissed his despondent air from her mind.

Should she act… wise? Commanding! Sort of angry, but with a surprise soft streak that made her endearing to those who saw past the facade? She looked at Crop’s schedule. No, she wouldn’t be able to fit that in three days. Rainbow shook her head. She’d just wing it, it’d be fine.

Fine.

This was all just temporary anyway. It’d be a fun little thing to do before she headed out to fly again with Spitfire and the others when they got back.

Adjusting her cap and slick shades, Rainbow stepped out onto the grass, enjoying for a second the air of authority she was able to project. The three recruits landed neatly to her right. She turned her head with just the right amount of snappiness and marched towards them. Spitfire, Rainbow remembered, was intimidating and scary to her recruits. Or was that just to her? Either way, it worked for the Captain so of course Rainbow was going to give it a go.

“Recruits! I am Rainbow Dash. Wonderbolt. Also weatherpony. Sometimes I teach at the Friendship Academy in my spare time. Occasionally help out at Sweet Apple Acres and I… think I also do odd shifts at the Carousel Boutique?”

The recruits tilted their heads at Rainbow Dash. The griffon frowned, unsure what to do. Rainbow paused, tapping her chin as she tried to recall if there was anything else impressive that she had done.

It wasn’t that nothing came to mind. A bit too much came to mind. Rainbow whistled at her own amazingness. How did she find the time to cram all this awesome into her schedule?

“Uh… miss Dash?”

Rainbow realised that she was getting distracted. Distracted wasn’t commanding, or intimidating, or awesome at all. Not good. Abort the wayward thoughts, abort them hard.

“Hmm? Right. I wasn’t distracted!” Rainbow stood up to her full height again. To her dismay it was a little shorter than one of the new recruits, and obviously the griffon towered over her. “Names!” She pointed at the first Pegasus, a stallion with a particularly floofy mane. Like a cloud. Rainbow was almost tempted to poke it.

“Gale, ma’am!” The young mare saluted, visibly nervous about how to behave. “Fillydelphia weatherpony, and… not as many things as you, ma’am!”

“Fillydelphia?” Rainbow raised her eyebrow and tried to remember what Spitfire would do to intimidate a new recruit. “Do they even have a weather team there or just a band of haphazard… amateurs?”

“We’ve won the Windytop Equestrian Weather Team Award three years running, ma’am!”

Ah. Wrong line of attack then. Knowing when to drop a line of thought was not a skill covered in Wonderbolt orientation, however.

“Pfft! Not even recognised in Cloudsdale!” Rainbow retorted.

“Recognised by Celestia herself, ma’am!”

“Didn’t you say you were a weatherpony?” the second Pegasus asked. “What was your team?”

Deciding not to draw too much attention to the Ponyville weather team, which had a sterling but admittedly disorganised reputation, Rainbow changed tack.

“And who are you, short stuff?!” Rainbow demanded, adjusting her collar as she looked up at the rather dauntingly shaped mare. Collar was too tight, evidently. What pony designed these things? Rainbow felt increasingly pressured with every passing second.

“Windy Go-go, ma’am!” The mare saluted. “Don’t know when to shut up, ma’am!”

“I can see that, recruit!” Rainbow quipped. Ha, that one didn’t even sound half bad.

“Hear it, actually! You hear ponies talk, not see them. That wouldn't make sense, because the whole point of talking is to hear the words and sounds in order to communicate...”

Wow, Windy wasn’t kidding.

“I’m a lip reader, then, recruit. Also, I’m, like, shouting!” Rainbow stomped her hoof emphatically. She was starting to sweat profusely. How in Celestia’s mane did Spitfire manage to keep this kind of charade going? “Can’t you at least pretend to be intimidated?”

Windy Go-go put her hoof to her mouth. “Sorry ma’am!” She put on a frightened air. “Oh, ah! Oooh! My heart!”

“That’s better.” Rainbow sighed. She realised that the recruits were probably very disappointed in her performance as an authoritative, powerful instructor. “Sorry guys, it’s my first day. I’ve not got the, uh, shouting and stuff down just yet.”

“Um, I was intimidated…” the griffon muttered. She scratched her chest feathers with her talon.

Rainbow reeled somewhat at the thought that she might have mucked up a first impression. “I’m sorry,” Rainbow said. She paused, and tilted her head. “Wait, no, I mean… good.” Rainbow strode towards the griffon. “And you are, miss…?”

“Glee. Glee the Griffon.”

“There is literally no way I can approach this without sounding real bad, but you’re a griffon, aren’t you?”

Glee looked awkward, like a great secret had been outed.

“What gave it away?” she asked. She straightened. “But I moved to Equestria ten years ago, though, so I’m eligible to join even if I am a griffon!”

“Yeah, I saw the griffon inclusion programme. I think it was neat.” Rainbow examined Glee. “A lot of our gear is pony sized, though, so I’ll have some of the staff adjust the trainee uniform for you. The wing-holes especially will be tricky, your wings have a larger base and are positioned differently to Pegasus wings. Better suited to gliding and circling.”

“Oh! You know a lot about griffon wings, then.”

“I know loads, thanks!” Rainbow smiled. “You have to know these things when you compete against griffons. And also have griffon schoolfriends and… stuff. Anyway we’ll sort you out, don’t worry. I mean,” Rainbow’s face fell back into her fake scowl, “Do worry. Because training is hard! So many wing-ups, you won’t believe how hard.”

“How many wing-ups?” Gale asked.

“How high can you count, Gale?”

“All the way up to…”

“Well more than that, anyway.” Rainbow pulled out her schedule. “So let’s get started!”

Rainbow wiped sweat off her forehead. Maybe the intimidating routine wasn’t for her. She had mellowed far too much these days. Spitfire would have to give her lessons, and Rainbow would need to practice in front of a mirror. For hours, probably.

The three recruits darted through the hoops with ease. Rainbow expected as much; those were the large ones, redesigned after Bulk Biceps had tried them out. Nopony wanted a repeat of the eventful evening whereupon the blacksmith had to be called in to saw through the metal to get him out.

“Fold your wings in tight, Glee! Griffons have muscles designed to hold them in for a dive. Needs practice but you can get them strong enough to reduce your profile!”

Rainbow turned towards Gale. “Tuck your hooves in, Gale! They’re dangling about like… spaghetti. Or something!”

“Sorry ma’am!”

“And no talking during exercises!” Rainbow eyed Windy Go-go. “Especially you, Windy!” She narrowed her eyes. “I see you chatting with Glee! Talking mucks up your breathing. We’ll go over single syllable code later.”

The three recruits eventually landed on the grass, panting. Rainbow marched up to Windy.

“When you fly, you’re using muscles. Muscles. The kind that needs you to breathe to use. Because… chemistry and biology and stuff. Basically, use your mouth to breathe, not make noises.” She folder her hooves. “Once you win, then you can use your mouth to go ‘whooo, I did it’, and stuff like that. Not before.”

Windy nodded, quiet for the first time that day.

“You can also talk now, obviously.” Rainbow waved them away. “Go get water or something. I need to check Crop’s schedule.”

Rainbow let the group trot away as she examined the timetable. Oh, what a surprise. More wing-ups.

“Might adjust this to be wing pull-ups, instead,” she muttered to herself. “Especially the griffon…”

Clutter, carrying a large stack of hoops to fly through, leaned over her shoulder to look at the schedule. It was now covered in notes and scribbles. Many of them were alternative exercises and little memorandums about the recruits. One of them was also a stick-figure of Applejack, because Rainbow had gotten bored.

“Looks like you’re taking well to this teaching gig,” the stallion said.

“It’s not for long,” Rainbow said. “Crop will be back soon.”

“Yeah, but Crop’ll retire eventually.” Clutter nudged Rainbow in the side. “Maybe you’ll get to sign up full-time!”

The stallion then trotted away. Rainbow swallowed.

“Ha. Ha ha. Ah, ha.”

Rainbow clenched her hooves. “I knew it,” she muttered. “They’re trying to retire me!”

The three recruits, Gale, Windy Go-Go, and Glee, all stepped out into the bright morning sunlight. All their joints and bones ached, but they still wore excited smiles and had bounces in their steps (even if said steps were somewhat wonky due to the aforementioned aches).

“Miss Rainbow is really good,” Glee said, the corners of her beak curled into a relaxed smile. “I was worried that they wouldn’t know what to do with a griffon but she’s really experienced.”

“I suppose they need to know how all flyers work, not just pegasi!” Windy said. “I also heard she had a griffon friend from junior camp! They said so in an article about her in Flyers Monthy.”

“Pshaw, I wouldn’t trust Flyers. That stuff’s written by stuffy unicorns in Canterlot.” Gale waved her hoof. “You’ll want Cloudsdale Direct. That stuff’s not just about Wonderbolts, it’s written by Wonderbolts.”

“But the pictures aren’t nearly as pretty!” Windy held out one of her magazines. “Also this one has instructions on how to bake muffins shaped like Wonderbolts!”

The trio approached Rainbow Dash, who was pacing furiously. The three stood to attention. Rainbow Dash might have been nicer than they anticipated, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in charge.

“Ma’am! Reporting!” Gale said, saluting smartly.

“Hmm? Oh! Uh, report acknowledged.” Rainbow stood up straight, as if thinking hard. “Is, uh, is Staff Clutter watching?”

Windy looked behind them. Clutter was, as he usually was, cleaning up the equipment. It was a perpetual battle against uncleanliness that he fought. His sacrifices were legendary.

“I think so!”

“Excellent! Ahem!” Rainbow flexed her wings. “Today we’re going to see some tricks that only a true Wonderbolt in her prime can do. Three guesses what it is?”

“Is it a…” Windy began.

“That’s right!” Rainbow exclaimed. “The Buccaneer Blaze.” She smirked. “It was my signature move before my signature move became the Rainboom, you know!” She flexed her wings. “Not just anypony can do it.” Raising her voice towards Clutter, she continued, “You’d have to be a Pegasus in your prime to be able to perform it, with incredible training and focus, which you’d have because you were one-hundred percent fit for duty.”

Clutter looked up slightly, and then peered around as if checking to see if the comment was addressed at him. He shrugged.

“Yes,” he said simply.

Rainbow adjusted her uniform and goggles. “Just keep your eyes on me and… especially you, Clutter! Uh, eyes on me and take notes!”

Rainbow shot into the skies like a rocket destined for the stars. Up, up she went, through a small cluster of clouds (which promptly detonated as she travelled through them), and then she began to spin. She could use Clutter's legendary rumour-spreading skills to her advantage, so reasoned.

Glee, Gale, and Windy’s jaws dropped agape. The light generated by the once-signature move played across their faces.
Clutter clapped his hooves together.

“Oooh, very pretty.”

Windy opened her mouth to talk but Gale held her hoof up.

“Don’t talk, it’s still going.”

There was a crackle of electricity before, eventually, Rainbow trotted to a half. She flicked her mane off her goggles.

“Awesome, right?”

“I didn’t know ponies could bend like that,” Glee said.

“It’s nothing too exceptional for a pony who’s been doing this for a while…” Rainbow’s smirk dropped. “…and who’ll be doing it for quite a while longer too!” She cleared her throat. “Clutter, you can report back to Spitfire that I can still do the Blaze. Not hat you have any reason to. But you can, if you want, and you should want to because why wouldn’t you keep Spitfire informed about stuff, you know?”

Gale and Windy were already going over the steps involved in performing the trick. Windy in particular appeared rather downhearted.

“Uh, all okay there, recruit?” Rainbow asked, wondering if she had perhaps overdone it. She had needed to get word to Spitfire that she was still fit and in shape, but years of trying to take other ponies feelings on-board had left her with a few instincts about when somepony was feeling down about something. You could only write 'I learned to consider other ponies feelings more' to Princess Celestia so many times before you started to feel like you weren't learning the lesson.

“It’s fine, it’s just I don’t think I’ll ever get that good…”

Rainbow shrugged. “It’s nothing practice won’t fix. Once we go over the wing-ups…” Rainbow looked at her schedule, and then sighed. “Actually, never mind the wing-ups. Let’s go over the Blaze, okay guys?”

The recruits all brightened up, excited.

“Step one! You need to either wear safety goggles, or else keep your eyes closed. Which, by the way, is not something you want to do twice…”

At the end of the day, Rainbow returned to her office exhausted. Teaching was hard, she thought. It took time, energy… it was basically like trying to improve her own flying, but instead of just worrying about herself, it was like worrying about three of herselves, each one with different problems. And one of them was a completely different shape.

At least Clutter would tell Spitfire that Rainbow was still awesome. That was good. No way Spitfire or administration would think that she was unfit to compete and fly in the field now.

Right?

Rainbow looked out the window. A horrid thought occurred.

What if Clutter reported that Rainbow had spent all day teaching them the Buccaneer Blaze? The rare and nearly inimitable trick that only herself and Spitfire could perform? And that they actually came close after one day?

She’d be known as a legendary teacher! A true maestro of mentoring!

Worse, it’d be an academy record!

“No!” Rainbow wailed, collapsing on the floor. “I’m doomed!” She pounded her hoof against the floor. “Why did I have to be so awesome at everything?!”

She clenched her hoof and squared her jaw. There had to be a way.

She could do the Rainboom? No, that was overplayed. She could to the quadruple twister? No, anypony who trained to just not get dizzy could do that one. Both at the same time?

Both was good… no! Rainbow had been Rainbow for a long time now and doubling down on the same idea twice never worked.

If she had made her situation worse by flying… she’d need to make her situation better by not flying! But how to make that work without getting in the way of the recruits learning? Of course! The old, unused classrooms! Genius.

“Well done, me,” Rainbow said with a grin, and bumped her own hoof.

“Clutter!” Rainbow barked. “Dust off the tables! Man the blackboards! Station the stationary!”

“Aye, miss Dash!” Clutter replied, busying himself cleaning the ancient, unused classroom. It had been years since a written class had taken place in the Wonderbolts Academy. Most more academic practice took place in one of the presentation rooms for the flyers, or else on a transportable whiteboard that was moved to whatever training locale was necessary. Even the Wonderbolts history test took place in dedicated exam chambers.

Rainbow examined the blackboard. “Clutter! I said blackboards, not dusty dark beige-boards!”

“I know miss Dash!”

The three recruits slowly entered the classroom, ooh-ing and ah-ing at their surroundings.

“Never expected to see the inside of one of these? Is this where Easyglider took his tests?” Windy asked.

“Um.” Rainbow rapped her chin. “Possibly. Wait. Was this where Easyglider took his tests?” Rainbow grinned. “Pop quiz!”

“Yes!” Windy guessed.

“No?” Glee asked.

“Do you not know?” queried Gale.

“Maybe, maybe, and nobody asked you, Gale!”

“…you did…”

“Everypony, move the chairs into the corners!” Rainbow examined her schedule. “I wanted to do some tests on historical Wonderbolts manoeuvres but I also have to fit in another half-hour of wing-ups, so… Today’s training is multitasking.”

Rainbow smirked. Learning the historical routines was useful, and would put the recruits in pretty good stead, but Spitfire and the administration didn’t need a pony to sit at the front of a class and rattle off tests. If anything, they’d say that she was lazy and didn’t go outside with the recruits! Rainbow giggled to herself. They didn’t need to know that they’d be doing their wing-ups in here, of course. Rainbow was trying to sabotage herself after all, not Glee, Gale, and Windy.

They would exit this room fitter than ever and with some cool knowledge about flying to boot. A flawless strategy.
“Okay! Prepare to wing-up! Ahem.” Rainbow pulled out her first card. “What was the name of the famous manoeuvre performed by Commander Flapper?”

“The Screwtop Shenanigan!” Gale exclaimed through gritted teeth. Wing-ups were hard, and each pony and griffon was sweating.

“Correct! Next question!” Rainbow glanced over at Clutter. “You can tell the other Wonderbolts that I’m in here doing written tests, by the way, Clutter!”

Clutter shrugged. “Suit yourself. Have fun recruits!”

Rainbow turned back to the three new flyers. “Anyway, how many flyers does it take to perform the Gruelling Gripper?”

“What are the five rules of turbulent flight as proposed by the weatherpony Weathertop?”

“…What is the maximum number of loop-de-loops permissible in an Airborne Ballet?”

“…What precisely is the function of the aerofoil kite?”

“Who is Neighnolds and what is his number?”

“What is…?”

“Who is!”

“When!”

“When is it considered appropriate to retire a Wonderbolt?!” Rainbow asked. She examined her card. “Huh. On the nose, that one… Who wrote these?”

“After… huff… seven… huff… consecutive… huff… years… huff…” Gale attempted.

Rainbow checked her watch. “It’s okay, fellas. We’re done.” She beamed. Clutter would surely have told everypony that she had wasted valuable time indoors when she could have been doing wing-ups outside. A clever ploy! Rainbow danced a little in glee. She could be so mischievous when she wanted to be!

The recruits all collapsed.

“Who was it that invented wing-ups… and why did he hate us?!” Windy moaned.

“Take five and then we’ll head outside some more! We can do laps, or something,” Rainbow instructed. “Good job, girls! You barely got any of them wrong! Somehow…”

“Mag… huff… azines… huff…”

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “You learn all that in magazines?” She shrugged. “Whatever works I guess. I’ll see you all in a bit outside.”

Whistling and skipping, Rainbow Dash trotted out into the training runway, bobbing her head as she did so to music only she could hear.

“Afternoon, miss Dash,” Clutter said. “Heard your recruits spent a while in that dusty ole’ classroom of yours.”

“Yup! Oh, boy, we did so much learning.” She grinned. “Booklearning! The best kind of learning!”

“I can tell. You really made the young ‘uns enthusiastic about trying out all those new tricks you taught them about.”

Rainbow hesitated. “Firstly, I’m also a ‘young ‘um’, but secondly, please never call me a young ‘un, it’s embarrassing. And also, what do you mean, enthusiastic?”

Clutter shrugged. “They’ve been plotting out doing some of Easyglider’s routines in their spare time. Truth be told not even Crop managed to get the recruits so fired up. You’re a natural.”

Rainbow felt the floor drop away beneath her. Not literally, of course. That would be cause for a very different sort of panic. Metaphorically, however, Rainbow was free-falling towards the ground with nothing but an exciting splat to look forward to.

She cantered towards her recruits, practically furious. If Clutter reported to Spitfire that she had managed to instill enthusiasm in her recruits… no, she had even managed to do something that Lieutenant Crop couldn’t do… She’d be ruined!

“What is the meaning of this?!” she demanded as she charged at her recruits.

“Oh, we, uh, know you said to take five, but…” Windy began.

Rainbow fumed. She couldn’t well tell them that she had been trying to sabotage her own teaching prospects. She couldn’t well tell them that they were just pawns in a complex game of chess between Rainbow, Spitfire, administration, and whatever part Clutter was supposed to be playing (if he was even playing the same game at all). She couldn’t well tell them any of that.

“Hydrate!” she shouted instead. “Now!”

As the recruits scarpered, Rainbow hung her head in defeat. She turned and saw Clutter already chatting with one of the other Wonderbolts. Soon, news would spread all across the Academy, then HQ, then all of Cloudsdale.

“I’m doomed.”

It was now late evening, and the day had ended without great fanfare. Rainbow was lying on her back, staring at distant Cloudsdale from nearby Ponyville.

“It’s okay,” Twilight consoled Rainbow. Her, Applejack, and Rarity had all gathered around their friend, who had sullenly moped past them on her way home. “I think you did a great job.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow grumbled. “Too good.” She thumped her head against the grass. “All I had to do was much up teaching them so I wouldn’t be given the job again, but could I even do that right? No.” She rolled onto her side. “If I can’t even want to remain a flyer enough to be bad at teaching, I probably don’t even deserve to fly with the team. Hrmph. Maybe that’s the real test.”

Applejack sighed and gave Rainbow a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Come on, now. You’re overreactin’ something fierce. I reckon this ‘Clutter’ ain’t even that big of a deal.”

Rarity pulled Applejack aside briefly and whispered in her ear, “Actually dear, Clutter’s rumours are famous all across Equestria. Why, I heard of the Wonderbolts switching tailors all the way from Manehattan thanks to him…”

Applejack whistled. “Well, maybe a little bit of a big deal then…”

“The point is that you could have done a bad job teaching and ruined Glee, Windy Go-Go, and Gale’s learning,” Twilight said. “But you didn’t, even though you… for some reason… wanted to. And that makes you a good pony.”

“I guess being at the Academy makes me do stuff like that,” Rainbow grumbled. “I made such a big deal about it being awful when I was a recruit that I just... can't do the same thing to the new recruits." She sighed. "It’s fine. I’ll finish the job and then I guess whatever happens, happens.” She looked over at her friends. “I’m fine. Just worried. It doesn’t really feel like I’ve been a Wonderbolt all that long at all and I don’t want to lose it.”

“You won’t,” Applejack said. “I promise.”

The next day, Rainbow struggled to maintain a positive expression when she walked out of the Academy HQ in her instructor uniform. It felt too much like a trap, now, not a badge of honour.

“Morning, ma’am!” Windy Go-Go exclaimed.

“Good morning, ma’am,” Gale said, a little cautiously as she saw Rainbow’s sullen expression.

“Um, is everything all right?” Glee asked. “Ma’am, I mean.”

Rainbow sighed. “Everything is fine,” she said. “Wing-ups. Come on, let’s go.”

Disappointed, the recruits got to work.

Rainbow Dash looked down at her schedule she had inherited from Crop, and at all the scribbles, notes, and ideas she had written down the sides. She almost felt like crumpling the whole thing up, but she didn’t. How would she remember how many wing-ups to make the recruits do if she threw it away?

She stared at Glee. She felt like she should shout some words of encouragement, but she couldn’t really muster the energy.

She’d do it later.

“Time to measure wing-power,” Rainbow said, without any excitement. She looked down at her stopwatch. “Glee, you first.”

The griffon stepped forwards, still nervous at Rainbow’s apparent lack of energy.

“Do you think she’s ill?” Gale asked Windy as Glee performed the test. “She looks… deflated.”

“Like a sad balloon,” Windy muttered in agreement. “Without air. Or happiness.”

“Eleven point three. Gale,” Rainbow half-shouted.

Windy tilted her head, observing Rainbow with a curious look. Odd indeed. Before she had been so lively.

“Will we be looking at any more historical manoeuvres?” she asked.

Rainbow considered lying, but thought better of it. What was the point, after all?

“No, those weren’t actually on Crop’s schedule.” She shrugged. “It was my own idea.”

“Oh.”

Rainbow looked down at the stopwatch. “Looks like your wingpower is ten point four.” She pointed at Windy. “Your turn, then we do laps.”

Nowhere near as exhausted or engaged, the three recruits sat around in a circle drinking water on their break. Windy was spouting theories as to why Rainbow was in such a sullen mood.

“Stomach bug? Colic? Lack of sleep? Too much sleep?”

“Didn’t think Rainbow could get too much sleep, if the rumours were anything to go by…” Gale retorted. “Maybe she just got bored of us. You know what the magazines say about her.”

From afar flew a tall stallion wearing a smart uniform. He landed next to the trio and trotted up towards them.

“Hello, ladies.” The stallion stood at attention. “I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about your instructor.”

Windy shrugged. “Sure. We were just talking about her anyway. She’s acting very weird, like she doesn’t really care about us any more.”

“Oh?” The stallion’s moustache bristled.

“She’s not really doing anything interesting right now at all, actually. We were worried something was wrong.”

“Oh indeed?”

“Windy!” Gale snapped.

“Hmm?” Windy looked over at Gale. The stallion had already began marching off towards the runway. Windy looked back at the stallion, then back over to Gale. “I don’t get it?”

“We should probably go,” Glee said, getting to her feet. “Come on, girls.”

Rainbow Dash was still examining her schedule when the stallion marched up towards her.

“Miss Rainbow Dash!” he said with an authoritarian voice. “What is the meaning of this?”

Rainbow turned to look over at the mustachioed stallion. Recognition flashed across her face. “Lieutenant Crop!” She dropped her schedule, she saluted so quickly. “I… thought you were on leave?”

“I only left as a favour to Spitfire! I didn’t expect for you to be so apathetic about the whole thing.”

Rainbow bristled. So this whole thing was a test from Spitfire. She winced.

“I knew it,” she muttered.

“Let me tell you, Spitfire will be most unimpressed with this performance. Don’t you know that a Wonderbolt is required to give one-hundred and ten percent at all times! Whoever taught you when you were at the Academy?”

Rainbow Dash was filled with conflicting emotions, and her face showed it. It looked like it was torn between imploding with shame and exploding with indignation. Yes, she had been… not at her best this morning, but she had been trying hard the rest of the time, even though she didn’t want to! Although, if she didn’t want to, maybe she hadn’t been trying her hardest after all…

She held her head in her hooves. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” she wailed, taking Crop quite by surprise. Crop and his moustache twitched, seemingly adapting to this new, unexpected turn of events.

“Come now, miss Dash, get a hold of yourself!”

The three recruits cantered up behind Lieutenant Crop. Other Wonderbolts had gathered, slight concern and interest on their faces. Among them were the current group of flyers, recently returned from far away.

Spitfire curiously pushed her way to the front of the small crowd, removing her goggles. Rainbow saw her, and immediately felt like everything was going to go worse. Suddenly sabotaging her own teaching career didn’t seem so clever. It didn’t make the prospect of being off the flying team any better, but she realised she had made a grave mistake.

“Lieutenant Crop,” Spitfire began, “Give…”

“It’s not like that at all,” Glee squeaked. Deep down she had a great fear of facial hair. It just looked so authoritativeand powerful and it made her nervous. Crop peered down his long, stern snout at her, eyebrow raised at the sudden interruption. She turned towards Gale. “…you do it.”

“Uh, Mister Crop, sir…” Gale began. “Rainbow Dash has been a great teacher so far. We don’t know what’s wrong with her today but we’re sure it’s not her fault.”

“Miss Dash did plenty!” Windy added, and picked up the schedule that Rainbow had dropped. “See? Look at all the ideas she had! Some of them were even good!”

“She also helped me with the special griffon requirements I have…” Glee said, mustering up what little courage she had left in the face of Crop’s moustache. “She was very knowledgeable about griffon biology…”

“She taught up about historical Wonderbolt tricks and routines, whilst doing endless wing-ups!”

Crop raised his eyebrow even further. It threatened to reach escape velocity.

“I do like wing-ups,” Crop admitted. He turned on Rainbow Dash. “Whatever is wrong, then? You seem to have been doing a sterling job so far. Very creative indeed!”

Rainbow wasn’t sure what to say. There had to be a diplomatic way to describe how she felt. A way that didn’t make her sound like a loser, or selfish, or like she didn’t appreciate the recruits, or Crop, or anything at all.

There had to be a diplomatic, Twilight-y way of saying everything she wanted to, but unfortunately, what she said was, “I don’t want to teach! I’m not ready to retire!” She slumped down onto her stomach. “I’m sorry. I like you,” she said to the recruits, “But I still want to fly and be a part of the Wonderbolts and I’m not ready to be a full-time instructor like Crop. No offense…”

“None taken.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “I didn’t want ponies to think I was going to be a good instructor but I also didn’t want to be bad for Glee, Gale, and Windy Go-go.” She sighed. “And now I’’m worried I won’t be either.”

Spitfire sighed. “Okay, folks, nothing to see here.” She waved her hoof at the crowd, including Glee, Windy Go-go, Gale, and Lieutenant Crop. “Disperse. I’m sure you’ve all got better things to do; I need to talk to Rainbow Dash.” She looked over at Rainbow Dash. “And no, I’m not going to tell you off.”

The crowd, as instructed, dispersed. They had had their fill of Rainbow drama for the day, anyhow. Only the recruits still looked somewhat concerned.

“You’re not mad?” Rainbow asked Spitfire.

“No, just confused. You’ve been a Wonderbolt for… a tiny amount of time, and you’re an excellent addition to the team. I wasn’t going to retire you so soon.”

Rainbow sighed with relief.

“I was testing you, though,” Spitfire said. “Listen, when you were at the Academy, I was the instructor there. That was my first time, and I didn’t do great. Later I found that actually I wasn’t great at a lot of things and needed to be better.” Spitfire did her best to juggle being authoritative and humble, and it was only partially working. The effort was appreciated by Rainbow, however. “I decided that being an instructor and learning about teaching and the recruits was a valuable part of being part of a team, and wanted to see how well you’d do at it since, well, I thought that you might be good at being Captain of the Wonderbolts after I retire.”

Rainbow’s heart skipped a beat. “Me? Captain?”

“Well, not yet, of course.” Spitfire dropped some of the humility she had been trying on with no small measure of glee. “I’m not ready to be a full-time instructor either, and after your little meltdown, I don’t think you’re ready to be a captain either.”

Rainbow sunk her head. “Y-yeah. I guess not.”

“…but, the way the recruits defended you means you made a really good impression and did a good job. I don’t think it’ll be that long before you come into your own.” Spitfire smiled. “So, uh please don’t make a scene like that again? And never tell anypony I told you this. It’s top secret knowledge.”

Rainbow nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good. “ Spitfire adjusted her uniform. “Now, go report to Lieutenant Crop and the recruits. I’m sure the Lieutenant will want to compare notes with you.”

Rainbow grinned, and flew into the air. “Yeah, you got it!”

Author's Note

Cheers for reading folks. This was written as part of a self-imposed challenge to match the 'pacing' of an actual MLP episode using a rather complicated method of converting words of dialogue to an amount of words written. More on that here.

Writing this was a bit tricky since it had to be written in a rather short amount of time, and rather like a few episodes I've seen, feels rather fast-paced. That's part of the fun of the challenge though, so I've left it in. Do comment below about how you think it worked if you're interested in the concept, or even want to know about how the word limits and stuff were calculated.

Either way, thanks a lot for reading. It was an interesting experience to write and I'll be comparing notes with some other folks who've been thinking about this kind of challenge, so the more info I have to chat about, the better!

Cheers, and have a nice day.