Lawsuits, Suitcases, and Punishment

by TheMessenger

Rating: everyone
Tags: Mayor Mare, Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4913

Acting as a judge seemed like a good way to prepare for ruling Equestria, but Twilight’s about to find out that the legal system, at least in Ponyville, is a bit of a joke.

Ever the law bidding citizen, Twilight Sparkle never thought she’d be in a court trial, but when the mayor of Ponyville asked her to co-preside over the town’s latest case, who was she to refuse? Besides, passing judgment onto ponies is just the practice Twilight needs if she‘s going to rule Equestria.

However, Twilight’s inexperience might just lead to her downfall, and the consequences of her mistakes might be too much of a punishment for her to bare.

Regardless of what happens next, Twilight will learn one important thing —

The legal system is a joke.

Published 2019-06-20 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-20 20:40:01 UTC

Case Dismissed

Out of all her many responsibilities, the mayor of Ponyville had a particular dislike toward her position as the town’s sole adjudicator. It’s one of the downsides of living in a small town, not always having the right ponies for the right jobs, and Ponyville had to make do with what they had.

Soon, thank Celestia, that would all be changing, now that Twilight Sparkle was here. After all, whose judgment was more qualified than that of a bonafide princess of Equestria? The gray maned mare looked to her side at the usually vacate stenographer desk where the mulberry alicorn sat with a notebook and quill in hoof.

“Nervous?” the mayor asked.

“What? Nervous? Me?” Twilight tried to laugh. It came out as more of a cough. She sighed. “What gave it away?”

“You’re bouncing in your seat. You’re not the one on trial, you know.”

“I know. It’s just.” Twilight bit her lip. “I mean, I’ve never even been in a courtroom. And now you want me to eventually take over as judge?” She shook her head. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“Well, that’s why you’re here today, to watch and learn.” The mayor smiled at the younger mare before turning to the red stallion standing at the doorway. “Go ahead, Big McIntosh, let them in.”

“Eeyup.” Big McIntosh nodded and after taking a deep breath, opened the door he had been guarding. A second later, the large stallion had vanished, swallowed by a sea of ponies chatting and laughing as they found places to sit or stand.

Twilight’s eyes widened at the sheer size of the crowd filing in. “Is this normal?” she exclaimed over the noise of the ponies before her.

The mayor nodded. “Oh yes, always. I remember going to my very first public trial as a filly. They used to be allowed to sell popcorn right in the courtroom.” She sighed wistfully. “Ponyville only gets a couple of trials every few moons, so we like to make the most of it. The cleanup‘s a pain though. Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing,” Twilight said after a few seconds of hesitation, not taking her eyes off of the crowd. Several ponies, ponies she recognized, friends and even some of her own students, had snacks and little flags they waved in the air. Pinkie Pie in particular had on her novelty giant foam mutant hoof. “It’s just, well, it’s not exactly what I expected.”

The mayor chuckled. “Well, that’s Ponyville for you.”

As ponies settled down, the courtroom slowly quieted. All eyes fell upon the mayor at the raised podium, the princess sitting next to her, and the two mares standing before them. The mayor knocked a large gavel against the podium twice. “Her Honor Mayor Mare presiding with Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she announced. “Princess, please present the case.”

“Oh, right.” Twilight stood up and cleared her throat. “We are here to hear the civil case of Spoiled Rich v Octavia. Plaintiff, are you prepared?”

Spoiled Rich sniffed as she brushed back her mane. “Of course.”

“Go honey!” screamed out a certain stallion. “That’s my wife!” The filly in the tiara sitting next to him planted her face into her hooves as the ponies around them began chuckling.

“Hm, very well.” The mayor turned to the mare adjusting her bow tie standing adjacent to Mrs. Rich. “And how is the defendant?”

Octavia nodded. “The defense is ready, Your Honor,” the mare said with a small bow.

“Good, good,” the mayor said while the alicorn beside her wrote furiously. “Let’s begin. Plaintiff, if you please, why are you suing the defendant for...” She paused and squinted at the document before her. “Twilight, is this sum right?”

Twilight nodded as Spoiled Rich smirked. “If anything, I’m being too generous after what she did,” the earth pony boasted.

The mayor’s brow raised. “Right. And why are you suing for what is the equivalent of Ponyville’s accumulated budget deficit since the return of Princess Luna?”

The plaintiff tossed back her head. “Why, for fraud, false advertising, emotional distress, breach in contract, and being a generally poor citizen of course.”

The mayor’s eyes narrowed as the entire courtroom drew in a sharp breath. “You’re suing another pony just because they don’t have much money?”

Spoiled Rich’s grin faded. “What? No, no, of course not. I meant poor as in bad. She was a bad citizen. Not that there’s anything wrong with being poor, er, less financially secure,” she quickly added. “It’s just, not the lifestyle for a mare like myself. I have, that is, my daughter has many poor friends. I love poor ponies.” Her new smile lacked any of the radiant smugness of her previous one. It was also much more forced.

“I see.” The mayor tapped her hooves together and leaned back. “Please continue. How did the defendant commit fraud and false advertisement, cause you emotional distress, and breach contract?”

“And also be a poor citizen,” the mare at the plaintiff desk interjected. “Don’t forget that.”

The mayor resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Of course, silly me. Now, if you would, what happened exactly?”

“It was the twenty second of this month, less than a week ago,” Spoiled Rich began. “My husband and I had been on a date. After a wonderful dinner, we went to a show, a concert put on by local musicians. Small, quaint, very ‘Ponyville.’ Not a huge fan myself, but Filthy dear loves these little local event, and I was curious about the gimmick of this certain concert.”

“I see. And this gimmick was?” the mayor prompted.

“It was to be a cello and lyre duet, a combination few ponies have ever experienced. But when the curtain lift, there was no lyre!”

The entire courtroom gasped. “No lyre?” the ponies in the crowd repeated.

“There was only her on the stage,” Spoiled Rich sobbed, pointing at the mare across from her. “Just her and a cello, which she played beautifully for half an hour without any lyre backing her up. My whole night was ruined! I was promised a cello and lyre duet. How can I say I went to a cello and lyre duet when there was no lyre?”

“So there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet which is why you’re suing Octavia. Is that correct?” the mayor asked.

“That’s correct.”

“And how much did you pay to see the concert?”

Spoiled Rich immediately stopped crying. “Oh, it was free. I’d never pay for something as small as this.”

The crowd began to murmur amongst itself. “Order in the court,” the mayor demanded, hammering away with her gavel. “Thank you, Mrs. Rich. We will now hear from the defendant.”

“Why bother?” Spoiled exclaimed with a huff and a dismissive wave. “We all know she’s guilty.”

The mayor smiled as she leaned over her podium. “Well, like it or not, we have a system in place for a reason, and that system requires us to hear all sides of the situation. Now.” She returned her gaze to Octavia. “Defendant, if you would, is it true that the plaintiff went to a concert you organized?”

Octavia nodded. “Yes, Your Honor.”

“And is it true that it was supposed to be a cello-lyre duet?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“You see?” Spoiled Rich had jumped to her feet. “She admits it. She confessed.”

“But,” Octavia continued, shooting a glare at the interrupting plaintiff, “it was not my fault there was no lyre. I believe this court will agree with me when I say that if there is to be punishment, the punishment should not be on my head or at least not on my head alone.”

“You’re saying you’re not to blame here?”

“That I am, Your Honor,” Octavia said, slamming her hooves against her desk.

“Please don’t do that.”

“Apologies. Ahem, you see, I was not the only organizer. My partner in this endeavor, a Ms. Lyra Heartstrings, was supposed to be there that night as the lyre player. However, on the night of the twenty second, Ms. Lyra Heartstrings didn’t show, and I was forced to continue on with the concert without her and her lyre.”

“You couldn’t have postponed or canceled the concert?” asked the mayor.

“No, Your Honor,” Octavia answered, shaking her head. “The production of this concert was, shall we say, troubled, and we had experienced several delays and issues already. It didn’t seem fair to the community to suddenly quit on the night the performance was promised.”

Twilight set down her quill and held up her notebook. “So because because Lyra didn’t show, there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia.”

“Which means Lyra Heartstrings is to blame,” the mayor concluded. “Very well, I will—“

”Hold it!”

All eyes turned to light-green unicorn mare who had spoken out. She shoved her way through the crowd until she reached the railing separating the audience from the rest of court. “Look, I’ll admit it, I missed the concert, but there’s a good reason for it, I swear.”

“Order, order,” the mayor called out. “Very well, Lyra Heartstrings. Please approach the witness stand.” She and the rest of the courtroom watched and waited as Lyra made her way to the spot between the plaintiff desk and the defendant table. “Now, why did you fail to show at the cello-lyre concert?”

“I wanted to, really, but that afternoon, my very best friend Bon Bon need my help. She was trying these new candy recipes that are supposed to be healthier than normal or something. Anyways, she needed me to taste test. Well, whatever was in that recipe gave me real bad food poisoning that left me on the toilet for days, and that’s why I missed the concert.”

“So because Lyra got food poisoning, Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the mayor observed with a nod. “And the mare who made these candies, is she here right now?”

A beige mare with a blue and pink mane pushed to the front of the crowd. “That would be me, Your Honor.”

“Are you willing to answer a few questions?”

“I am.”

“Very well.” The mayor gestured to the witness stand, and Bon Bon and Lyra switched places. “Now, is it true that you made candies that gave Lyra food poisoning?”

“Yes, Your Honor, but not intentionally,” Bon Bon answered. “You see, my new recipe uses flower petals for flavoring. I was supposed to use a mix of roses, lilies, and daisies, but the rose stand was closed that day so I tried compensating with extra lilies and daisies, which must‘ve caused the food poisoning.”

The mayor turned to Twilight. “Is this possible?” she asked.

“Oh definitely, a heavy mix of lilies and daisies has been known to cause severe diarrhea, especially for unicorns.”

“So because Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the mayor said. “But why was the rose stand closed?”

“Um?” A shaky hoof was raised, attached to a nervous red-headed mare. “I’m the owner, Rose. I had to close my stand early because Scootaloo crashed into it, and I had to spend the entire day cleaning.”

“So because Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia.” The mayor frowned.

“Is something wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Dealing with younger ponies can complicate matters since we can’t force them to testify,” the mayor explained. “Is Scootaloo here today?”

“Right here,” called out the orange filly hanging over the railing’s edge. “And I wouldn’t have crashed if it weren’t for that dumb couch in front of the quills and sofa store! Anypony would’ve crashed if that was in their way.”

“Oh. Well that simplifies things. Thank you Scootaloo,” the mayor said. “So because there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia.”

“Davenport’s the owner of the quill and sofa store,” Twilight noted. “We should question him next.”

“Good idea. Davenport, Davenport, stop trying to hide. We all see you. To the witness stand.”

The blue shirted stallion reluctantly took his place in front of the mayor.

“Now, is it true there was a couch in front of your store?”

“Er, well, yes. But I didn’t have a choice. Believe me, it was only supposed to be out there for a short moment, until I made some room in the back,” Davenport explained. “You see, that traveling stage magician, Trixie, she bought that couch a while back and just returned it all of a sudden. Didn’t even give me a chance to prepare for it.”

“Hm, so because Trixie left the couch in front of the store, there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia.” The mayor shrugged. “Well, I suppose we could always blame the outsider. I am ready to—“

”Objection!”

The crowd gave way to the caped and hatted unicorn as she marched to the railing. “If you think the Great and Powerful Trixie will accept the blame so easily, you are sadly mistaken,” she declare. “Trixie had a very good reason to return that couch.”

The mayor set the gavel down. “Very well. Trixie, why did you return the couch?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie’s new, original finale requires two key parts, a couch and an assistant. Without either part, the trick is pointless. Thus, as the Okay and Decent Assistant Starlight Glimmer was unavailable, again, Trixie had no need for a couch and properly returned it.”

“So because Trixie no longer needed the couch, Trixie left the couch in front of the store,” Twilight said, reading through her notes, “which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia. But why was Starlight unavailable?”

“Probably something guidance counselor related,” Trixie grumbled. “Despite her being off hours.”

“The court calls Starlight Glimmer to the stand,” the mayor announced, slamming down her gavel. Soon, the unicorn in question stood before her. “Well, Starlight, is it true you were unavailable to act as Trixie’s assistant despite being off hours?”

“Yes, and I know I promised Trixie I’d balance my guidance counselor responsibilities and my responsibilities to my friends, but there was an emergency.”

“What kind of emergency?”

Starlight winced at the mayor’s inquiry. “I really shouldn’t go into detail. See, there was a guidance counselor emergency. Silverstream suffered a meltdown, and well, I don’t think I give any more details without her permission. It’s kind of personal.”

“So because Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the crowd said together.

“But what caused the meltdown?” the mayor asked. “Is Silverstream in here today.”

“Here ma’am, uh, Honor ma’am sir!” the sole hippogriff said, waving a claw.

“Would you be willing to explain what caused your meltdown?”

“Oh, geez.” Silverstream rubbed the back of her neck. “I guess. It’s really embarrassing though. Well, it all started at school. I was walking around with my friend Sandbar, and Sandbar had to leave to talk to Professor Rainbow Dash about an assignment or something. Anyways, as soon as I say good bye, I see Sandbar walk right out of the library, and I was like, two Sandbars?” She threw her forelegs into the air. “Like, whoa! But then, I started to wonder if it was just another pony that looked Sandbar, but that’d mean I think all ponies look the same which would make me racist, and I really didn’t want to be so I just started crying until Starlight found me.”

“Um, okay?” The mayor brought a hoof to her forehead. “So because Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia. Did I get that all right?”

“Pretty much,” Silverstream said happily. “Though we never did discover why there were two Sandbars.”

“Well, I guess we need to question Sandbar next,” said the mayor.

“Actually.” The changeling in the crowd stood up. “I can probably explain that better than he can.“

“Ocellus, correct?” the mayor waited for the changeling to nod. “Very well, you may proceed.”

“You see, I was up all night fixing my assignment that Spike had burned, and that left me really tired and without complete control over my abilities.” Ocellus blushed and rubbed her forelegs together bashfully. “I hadn’t even realized I was Sandbar for most of the morning until my friend Yona pointed it out. Silverstream must have seen me when she thought she saw Sandbar leave the library.”

“So because Ocellus stayed up all night working on her project and couldn’t control her transformations, Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, which is why Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” said the mayor, frowning. “Then that would mean Spike is to blame for destroying Ocellus’s project.”

“What, no!” Twilight’s notebook slid off the desk as the mare stood up. “Spike would never something like that. It must have been an accident.”

“Twilight, please,” the mayor chided. “As judges, we need to stay impartial. I know how important Spike is to you, but you can’t let that influence the ruling. We need to hear Spike first. Spike, are you here?”

A scaled claw reached out of the crowd, and soon, the witness stand was occupied by Twilight’s number one assistant. Or at least, everypony thought it was Spike. There weren’t many purple dragons in Ponyville, but with his head obscured by a large knight helmet and a dark vest decorated with a yellow and orange corsage over his chest, one couldn’t be entirely sure.

“Spike?” said the mayor. “Is everything alright?”

Smoke billowed out of the helmet. The visor lifted to reveal the familiar face beneath, with the addition of a very red nose. “Sorry,” he said, sniffing. “I’ve just been sneezing nonstop and don’t want to hurt anypony. I didn’t mean to destroy O-O—“ The visor slammed back down just in time. Spike’s entire body shook, and the metal of the helmet glowed orange. “Ocellus’s project.”

“How long has this been happening?” asked Twilight.

“Not long. Think the sneezing started the day Rarity gave me this.” Spike grabbed the collar of the vest and give it a tug. “Pretty neat, huh?”

Twilight motioned toward him. “May I?” Spike, after a short hesitation, removed his apparel and placed it on the stand. The vest, wreathed in purple magic, flew to Twilight and her inquisitive eyes. “Aha, dragon sneeze,” she announced after a few seconds, pointing at the flowery decoration. “No wonder you kept sneezing.”

“Ah, so because Spike had worn dragon sneeze flowers, causing him to destroying Ocellus’s project, Ocellus stayed up all night working on her project and couldn’t control her transformations, which is why Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, which is why Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the mayor observed.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” exclaimed Twilight as murmurs from the audience filled the room. “Why would Rarity give Spike such a dangerous gift?”

“Well there’s no need to speculate.” The mayor looked into the crowd, at the unicorn in the large lavender hat. “Rarity, could you explain why you gave Spike dragon sneeze flowers?”

There was no hiding Rarity’s blush as it spread over her alabaster cheeks. “I, well, this is so embarrassing. I’m so sorry, Spikey, everypony. I thought those flowers were fire lilies.”

“You didn’t know they were dragon sneeze flowers?” the mayor asked.

“No. I had ordered the flowers through a reputable source by post.” Rarity shook her head and frowned. “I don’t understand why they’d send me dragon sneeze flowers when I ordered fire lilies.”

“So because Rarity received dragon sneeze flowers by mistake, Spike had worn dragon sneeze flowers, causing him to destroying Ocellus’s project, which is why Ocellus stayed up all night working on her project and couldn’t control her transformations, which is why Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, which is why Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show,, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” Twilight said. “And if the source is as reputable as Rarity claims—“

“—then the fault must lie with the mail mare who delivered it,” the mayor finished. Several ponies in the crowd nodded understandingly, many having personally experienced issues with Ponyville’s postal service. “Is the pony who delivered the flowers to Rarity here?”

“Oh, oh! Yes, that‘s me!” A gray pegasus jumped into the air and waved wildly. “Finally, it’s my turn,” she said as she settled into the witness stand. Her bubbly smile faded as her eyes grew crossed, and she tilted her head to the side. “Um, what was the question?”

A few snickers resonated through the courtroom. “Are you the mail mare that gave Rarity those flowers that day?” asked the mayor.

“Nope! I gave her a package.”

“And in that package?”

“Flowers!”

“Right.” The mayor bit back a sigh. “And did anything happen before the delivery, anything that might have caused you to mix her package with another?”

“Hm, no, I don’t think, wait! Oh!” The gray mare frowned and her eyes narrowed. Her shoulders slumped. “Oh, I remember now,” she said, the bubbly excitement in her voice gone. “Rainbow Dash.”

“Rainbow Dash?” the mayor repeated. “What does Rainbow Dash have to do with this.”

“Well, I was passing by her at the train station,” the pegasus began, “and well, she called me, an old bag.”

The audience released a collective gasp.

“And asked me if I had been pulled out of the trash.”

The gasps became louder.

“Yeah. Anyways, I was kind of distracted for the rest of the day and wasn’t paying attention when I gave Rarity her package.” She winked and knocked her hoof against her forehead. “Sorry!” she exclaimed, her previous cheery attitude suddenly back.

“So because the mail mare was distracted by Rainbow Dash’s insults, Rarity received dragon sneeze flowers by mistake, which is why Spike had worn dragon sneeze flowers, causing him to destroying Ocellus’s project, which is why Ocellus stayed up all night working on her project and couldn’t control her transformations, which is why Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, which is why Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the mayor summarized. The entire courtroom turned to glare at the pegasus with the multi-hued mane. “Well Rainbow Dash, care to explain yourself?”

“Whoa, whoa!” Rainbow tossed her hooves up in front of her. “Yeah, I said that stuff, but that wasn’t about her. I was talking about Pinkie Pie’s new suitcase. I mean, have you seen it? It totally is an old bag.”

“Ancient even!” the pink pony beside her interjected, holding up a scuffed, beaten up suitcase. “I found it in a dumpster in a Manehattan alley.”

Rainbow Dash gestured toward Pinkie and her luggage. “Like I said, pulled out of the trash. It’s not my fault somepony overheard and thought I was talking about them.”

“Eh, I mean.” Pinkie shrugged. “You could’ve been more specific with your wording. Even I didn’t know you were talking about my suitcase, and I was right there.”

“So because Rainbow Dash’s comments on Pinkie’s suitcase were so vague, the mail mare was distracted by Rainbow Dash’s insults, which is why Rarity received dragon sneeze flowers by mistake, which is why Spike had worn dragon sneeze flowers, causing him to destroying Ocellus’s project, which is why Ocellus stayed up all night working on her project and couldn’t control her transformations, which is why Silverstream saw two Sandbars and had a meltdown, which is why Starlight had a guidance counselor emergency and was too busy to be Trixie’s assistant, which is why Trixie no longer needed the couch, which is why Trixie left the couch in front of the store, which is why there was a couch in front of the quills and sofa store, which is why Scootaloo crashed into Rose’s stand, which is why Bon Bon only had lilies and daisies to work with, which is why Lyra got food poisoning, which is why Lyra didn’t show, which is why there was no lyre in the cello-lyre duet, which is why Spoiled Rich’s suing Octavia,” the mayor, Twilight, and the courtroom as a whole chanted.

“Well, I believe we’ve heard enough, haven’t we, Twilight?” The mayor turned to the alicorn who nodded wearily.

“Definitely. If you ask me, this case should have never gone to trial, what with that ridiculous compensation demand and this all starting from some silly misunderstanding.” Twilight rested her forehead against her hoof and groaned. “I’m sorry, I just, I can’t believe all this happened just because Rainbow’s attempts to insult Pinkie’s suitcase ended up offending somepony else.”

“Agreed.” The bang of the mayor’s gravel echoed through the courtroom. “Looks like the case diss missed.”