Author's Note

(insert obligatory beach chapter notification here)

03: Spilled Swimsuits and Beach Trips of the Memorable Sort

After Bloom had parked the car, the three of them got out. “Mac, you got the list?” she asked.

Mac nodded, saying, “Eeyup,” before going through his pockets. A frown slowly developed on his face. “Er… eenope, Ah guess.”

“Don’t worry, Dad,” Dahlia said. She pulled the list from her own coat pocket. “Got it right here.”

They had driven to the supermarket to pick up some items before tonight’s gathering, but also to perform the weekly task of shopping for groceries. Apple Bloom took a cart from the long row that a worker had shoved together previously, and they went inside. They broke off from each other to set about picking out the items, with the senior Apples pairing up and Dahlia going her own separate way.

She picked up a red plastic basket and went toward the bakery section, where they had stacked muffins and croissants and warm loaves of bread upon creaking, wooden tables that looked far older than she was. She lingered there for a few moments, carefully selecting a box of muffins from the display, before moving on. But she had not taken a few steps before bumping into someone.

“Oof!”

Dahlia recovered the quickest. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she said, looking up at the person whom she’d bumped into. She paused at his face. “Wait a second…”

“Dahlia?”

Her eyes went wide, and a smile broke out on her own face. “Cousin Scree Mo!”

The slightly older boy had no time to react, as immediately Dahlia took him between her arms and gave him a quick noogie. “Agh! Dahlia, quit it! My hair!”

“Are you kidding me? I haven’t seen you in so long; do you think I’m going to miss an opportunity to mess with you?”

Nonetheless, she relented eventually, and stepped back to regard the boy. Aside from his hair, which was shorter than it was the last time she’d seen him, he was still the same. Slightly on the pudgy side, though not in an unpleasant sense, he wore a simple black T-shirt with a gray skull slashed through the middle. His face still retained its likeness to a baby’s—he appeared five or so years younger than he really was, a fact that he often complained about to no avail. It was hard to believe he was Dahlia’s senior by almost a decade, and it didn’t help that he was the same height as her. He had also lost the paleness of his youth and had tanned a fair amount—he had gone on a beach trip recently.

For a moment, he glowered at her, and she simply smiled at him, holding on to her basket. Then the moment passed and he smiled back at her. “When is a Dahlia not a Dahlia?” he said cryptically. “One of these days, you’ll need to stop giving me noogies.”

“Once you get taller I will.”

“Ouch, kid. Ouch.”

“Oy! What the hell were you screaming for?”

Dahlia’s smile became even bigger. “Is that—”

Scree Mo nodded in reply.

From around a tall shelf of baked rolls came them. First there was a blue-haired man with the same colored eyes being pushed ahead, looking somehow simultaneously in pain and in pleasure. Behind him, the one pushing him, was a shorter woman, with two orange pigtails and green eyes, who was glaring at Scree Mo as though he had committed a grievous crime. “Sheesh!” she said. “Isn’t there a better place to practice your screaming?”

“What, like the bedroom?” Scree Mo easily replied. He’d gotten much sassier since his youth, Dahlia thought, remembering Mac’s stories about the shy kid who’d held a torch for her mother for the longest time.

The pig-tailed lady was about to respond when her eyes glanced over at Dahlia. They flashed with recognition, and then were followed with a groan. “Oh, hell no—”

“Hellooo, Auntie Gaige!” Dahlia said brightly, practically skipping over and hugging the much older woman before she had a chance to react.

“Ack! Baka, I told you not to call me that!”

“That’s odd, it sounds like you’re not happy to see me!”

“Of course I’m not—ack! Flash, what are you doing?”

“Getting in on this huggable reunion, obviously. Besides, at least now I’m not getting pushed around.”

“You jerk! You like being pushed around and you know it! Scree Mo, I see that look in your eye, don’t even think about it!”

“Will do, cousin.”

The hug went on for far longer than was evidently comfortable or acceptable by Gaige. She squirmed wildly in their grip. “Gah! At least let me get a good look at you, Dahlia—out of this hug!”

Dahlia let her go. Dusting herself off, Gaige fixed on her a glare that could melt stone, but Dahlia unflinchingly remained smiling. Slowly, the glare worked itself into a far more gentler look. “God, look at you, girl. You’ve grown.”

“You haven’t,” Dahlia answered easily.

“Sharp, but I’ve heard it all before. It seems only yesterday you were a bright-eyed brat who thought she’d make it big by blowing out her vocal chords.” She let out a low whistle. “I dunno what’s in your genes that’s keeping you looking young.”

“Could be the fact that I’m only twenty-five.” A pause. Then the smile became a mischievous curling of lips. “Auntie Gaige.”

Gaige bristled, but managed a crooked grin and a wink. “Making it real hard not to smack you upside the head, you know that?”

“Speaking of vocal chords,” Scree Mo said, “how’s that coming along for you? I understand you’re planning a new release soon.”

“A single,” Dahlia replied. She shook her head. “But lately I’ve hit a major block with it. It’s like the words won’t come anymore. I’ve sort of put it aside for now, anyway, and besides, I’ve been busy with other things.”

“A block, huh?” Gaige said, but she said nothing more of it, looking past Dahlia instead. “Oh, is that Big Mac?” Then, before Dahlia could confirm, she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “OI! BIG MAC!”

Mac turned his head, caught sight of Gaige, and began walking over with Bloom behind him. Bloom was less than pleased. “Gaige, we’re in a grocery store. For gosh’s sake, ya shouldn’t be yellin’ like that across the way!”

“What? I was worried he wouldn’t hear me.”

“Who wouldn’t be able to?”

“That’s the point.”

“Howdy, Gaige,” Mac interrupted, before the two could start up an argument. Then he nodded towards Flash and Scree Mo, themselves providing a similar manner of greeting. “Fancy seeing y’all here. You shopping too?”

“Ya think?”

“Yeah, we are,” Flash said, lifting up a red plastic basket. In it was an assortment of sweet cakes and goodies. “For tonight, you know?”

“Eeyup.” Mac looked at Flash, then at Gaige. He made a motion with his hand over his face. “Er, you two have, uh, somethin’ on ya.”

“What is it? Is it a spider? I HATE SPIDERS!” Instantly Flash flung his hands up to reach and grab his face, but he had forgotten the basket in his hand, and all of the items therein were sent flying and they crashed to the floor. All of the sweet items there became a jumbled mess of sugar and cream.

“FLASH! YOU IDIOT!” Gaige yelled.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT THERE’S A SPIDER ON ME!”

“There ain’t no spider on ya!” Mac said. But Flash was too busy half-sobbing, half-gasping for breath. Mac sighed and shook his head. “Ah almost forgot about this.”

Finally they had calmed down enough to decide that the best course of action, of course, was to join Dahlia’s family in their shopping. Neither party protested, mostly because Gaige’s insistence was stoic, and no doubt no one would be able to contest her.

As they continued through the grocery store, ticking off items off their lists, Dahlia and Scree Mo caught up with each other. The first thing she did, while the older folks argued over the correct way to weigh a pear (“You have to weigh it on its side!” Flash insisted. “That way, you don’t miss a single ounce!” To which Mac would retort, “Flash, it’s a pear before an’ after you weigh it. It don’t change a bit of itself just cause you weigh it one way or the other! It ain’t physically possible!”), was squint at the older man. “What?” he asked, once she had gotten his attention.

“Are you gonna tell me now?”

“Tell you what now?”

“You know! About her!”

“Her—Oh!” He looked at her, then smiled snidely. “Of course not.”

He was elbowed below the ribs as a result. “C’mon, you’ve gotta! Especially since I’m the only one you’ve mentioned her existence to! Not even Auntie Gaige knows!”

“That’s because,” Scree Mo said between breaths, “if she knew, she’d probably scare her off. Or kill her. I know she will because she told me that once.” Then he stood, straightening his back, giving Dahlia an easier smile. “Look, I won’t tell you because I know you’ll tell Gaige at some point.” She pouted at him. “But, here, I’ll show what she and I have done recently.”

Scree Mo pulled out his phone and swiped through a few pictures. “Here. We did this about a month ago.”

“What is it?”

He pointed to the picture. It was of his hand in some unseen girl’s, their wrists wearing matching colored wristbands. “Promise bands,” he said. “They were selling them at the Renaissance Faire. So we bought a pair and what they did was they asked for an inscription on the middle gold piece—that long one right there—and they’ll inscribe it using a thin hot poker, barely a millimeter thick. You can write whatever you want. We ended up deciding to write the same thing.”

“Which was?”

He flicked to another photo, which was a zoomed-in image of the gold piece. She read it out loud: “Ideas strung together / On wings made out paper / Take flight in open skies / To roost in your eternal heart.” She paused. Then she looked at Scree Mo again. “That was—”

“From our collab,” he said, smiling still. “Seems so long ago, doesn’t it? But apparently she was there, at the concert. Somewhere up front. I do vaguely remember her, actually. Point is, she loved that line, and wanted it inscribed, and so there it is. So I have you to thank for it.”

Dahlia blushed. “But it’s so cheesy, don’t you think? I wrote that when I was, like, a baby!”

“Five years ago you were a baby?”

“Basically an older baby, yeah!”

“Well, I don’t think it’s cheesy. And she didn’t, either. So that has to count for something.”

“All right.” Dahlia took a breath. “Well, since you aren’t going to tell me who she is… well, what else have you been up to?”

“Not much,” he confessed. “Between playing with the band and her, there hasn’t been many things of interest as of late.”

Up front, the older folks had turned down another aisle and were comparing the prices of various coffee grinds. None of them could agree which was better, but at least this time they weren’t wholly arguing it out.

“Oh, wait!” Scree Mo said. “There was the beach thing. Yeah, that was funny.”

“Where you got the tan?”

“Where else? But that wasn’t the funny part. You see, at one point, Gaige lost sight of Flash. So she was looking all around the beach for him, when, out of the blue, she caught sight of someone with his hair and color. So she stomped over and plopped right down next to them, complaining about how she ought to wrap a leash around his neck and pull him close—”

“As you do.”

“As you do, yes. And she’s going on and on, getting madder and more… er, suggestive, I guess, with her threats. Finally, she turns her head to ask him what he thinks of all that—and you know who she sees?”

He paused, before letting the joke come to fruition: “Some old dude and his wife giving Gaige the stink-eye!” He laughed. “Oh, man, they were pissed! And she was so embarrassed she got up and ran away and hid in the car all day until everyone came back looking for her!”

Dahlia also joined in on the laughter. “Oh, wow! That’s terrible! She must hate the beach now!”

“Yeah, well, Gaige doesn’t like to bring it up. Says it’s the dumbest thing she’s ever done.” A pause. A wicked gleam in Scree Mo’s eyes. Then: “Next to Flash, of course.”

Dahlia turned bright red and had to stifle her laughter. Meanwhile, Scree Mo roared with his. Then his laughter was cut off by a strange choking noise, and when Dahlia looked at him, she saw that his body had been jerked back, and his throat was locked in an vice-like elbow grip perpetuated by, who else, Auntie Gaige.

She glowered at him. “You know, Scree Mo, I seem to remember we agreed never to mention that incident in public. You remember, don’t you?”

“It seems to have slipped my memory,” he replied between gasps.

She let go. “Eh, whatever. I guess it was gonna come out eventually.” She looked at Dahlia, then smirked. “You think I hate the beach? Ha! As if! The beach was probably the best place I’ve ever pulled a prank on someone.”

“Really? Now I have to hear this.”

“Oh, yes, young grasshopper. Gather close, because it’s a tail that you aren’t apt to forget. Your dad doesn’t even know about it, either!”

“Ooh, even better. Tell me more, Auntie Gaige.”

“If you keep calling me that, I just might not!”

“Whatever you say, Auntie Gaige!”

“... you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Girl, I’m adorable. Tell me!”

“Fine, fine! Look, it all began the first day of summer vacation…”

***

The bus drove on to the tar-black pavement. It slowed, coming to a stop somewhere just behind the white lines marking the parking spaces, most of which were filled with small cars or large SUVs or, for some reason, a boat. The brakes hissed, steam rolling out from underneath. A moment passed. Then, the door opened, and out thundered an incredibly excited group of girls.

“HELLO, SEASIDE DELIGHT!” Pinkie Pie shouted at the top of her lungs. “GET READY, BECAUSE THIS PLACE IS ABOUT TO BE INVADED BY THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, MOST BODACIOUS BEACH BOOTIES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!”

The sea roared back as though answering her challenge. “AW, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, MOST BODACIOUS BEACH BOOTIES—mmph!”

“I think the ocean gets it, Pinkie,” Sunset Shimmer said, a hand clamped over Pinkie’s mouth. “And I’d really appreciate—we all would, actually—if you didn’t get us kicked out before we’ve even set foot on the beach.”

“Ooh, right. Sorry.” Pinkie gave a sheepish smile.

“Well, I, for one thing, understand Pinkie’s excitement,” Rarity said. She raised a hand over her eyes, though such an action was unnecessary, due to the large silk hat and stylish pair of red sunglasses currently protecting her. “It seems like a lifetime ago that I’ve been able to go to the beach.”

“I hear ya there, Rares,” Applejack said. “There ain’t nothin’ like the beach on a hot summer day.”

“I can’t wait to hit the water!” Rainbow Dash said. She was holding a surfboard in one hand and a kite in the other. “I’ve been wanting to try out this kite-boarding thing for months!” She looked at Applejack, then smirked. “Race ya to the beach!”

“Yer on, Dash!”

The two girls took off without once looking back at the others. Sunset giggled. “Well, at least they’re having fun.”

She felt someone sidle up to her, and she couldn’t help but look at them and smirk. “Is it anything like being back home?” she asked.

“Almost,” Adagio Dazzle replied in a murmur, casting her eyes over the ocean as one would at an old lover. “The smell, the air—it’s very much like Equestria. But something different about it, too. Kind of like spice, I suppose.” She breathed it in, then breathed out. “I guess that’s one other thing to like about the human world. It’s similar, and yet also different.”

“You said it, Dagi!” Sonata Dusk exclaimed, popping up next to her. “But I bet anything that Equestria’s tacos can’t top this world.”

“Sonata!” Pinkie called. Somehow in the span of time that they’d spent talking she was already halfway across the beach, almost catching up to Rainbow and Applejack. “Come on! You promised me you’d show me the proper way to make a sand angel!”

“Coming, Pinkie!” And she took off as well.

Sunset looked behind her. “What about you, Aria? What do you think of the beach?”

“Beats the apartment,” the twin-tailed ex-siren replied. She almost smiled, or maybe Sunset was mistaken her usual grimace for one, the sun partially blinding her. “I’m just happy to finally get out of the house.”

“You could have gone out anytime you wanted,” Adagio chastised.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to then.”

“ARIA!” Sonata called. “YOU SAID YOU’D COME WITH ME!”

Aria rolled her eyes (not that Sonata could have seen from how far away she was). “Fine, fine, I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Begrudgingly, she stomped off towards the other pair of excited girls.

“Are you sure that’s going to be enough, Fluttershy? It hardly seems like much.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. I actually don’t burn very easy. I think it’s the Italian in me.”

“If you say so.” Twilight Sparkle—their Twilight, Sunset mentally corrected; that is, the one from the human world and Crystal Prep—looked uncertainly at the horizon. “Just be careful, okay? The day’s supposed to be a hot one, and I don’t see a single trace of cloud cover at all.”

A white hand then grabbed her by the shoulder. “Oi, quit your whining, girl!” Vinyl Scratch said. “It’s just a little bit of sun. It won’t kill you!”

“Actually, Vinyl, skin cancer remains the deadliest and most invasive form of disease that you can get on the beach—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, and they drown puppies every now and then, lighten up! It’s summer! Enough with the nerdy stuff, and let’s go have some fun!”

She gave both girls a wink, and, though they were still uncertain, began the trek across the sandy dunes.

Lastly, two other girls came off of the bus, clutching towels around their bodies and holding a few canvas bags. One of the girls winced as she met the air. “Well, geez. If that isn’t hot, then I don’t know what is.”

“Pussy,” the other said. “This isn’t that hot.”

“You’re already sweating buckets, Gaige.”

“Shut up, Ink, you know what I mean.”

“Not really, actually.”

“Baka, don’t you sass me in this conversation. You know I am the sass queen and I will kick your ass at this game!”

“It’s not a game, Gaige, and if anything, either Sunset or Adagio are the sass queen. That’s not a title you can just take!”

“If Hazel were here, she’d argue that I could, and did, and therefore am!”

“Well, she’s not. She’s on vacation with her family in Norway.”

“Baka! I know that! I was just making a point!”

“Well, it's a bad point, you—”

They somehow entered into an intense bickering that powered them past the remaining four girls and down the sandy dunes. They watched them go, before breaking out into snickering.

“Well,” Rarity said, taking hold of the brim of her hat, “I suppose that’s a sure enough sign as any to find us a spot before every other place on the beach becomes full.”

“Agreed,” Sunset said. She, Adagio, and Rarity gathered their things and began walking.

Vinyl looked back at the bus. “You guys gonna be okay while we find us a spot to put all the stuff?”

A hand shot out of one of the windows in a thumbs-up gesture. Vinyl grinned. “All right. See you soon, babe.”

Then, in an almost offhand, unconscious manner, she undid the towel wrapped around her body, then flung it out to the side, before sauntering down the beach, grinning to herself, knowing someone was going to be very happy.

A few minutes passed. The bus had not moved. Then, gradually, a slow and steady stream of boys—young men by that point—emerged from the dark interior within, and somehow, unconsciously, they spread out single-file along the length of the bus, shoulder-to-shoulder. They carried with them bags and umbrellas and extra bottles of sunscreen and all sorts of beach assortments that wasn’t necessarily theirs but that they carried nonetheless with reverence and dignity. They scanned not the horizon, not the ocean, but the receding figures of the girls who had gotten off before them.

One of them, no doubt the self-proclaimed leader, stood before the thrown-aside towel. He bent down, then, as though it was a holy object, carefully bundled up the towel in his arms. He looked back at the beach, at the light and curving form of Vinyl Scratch. No doubt the others were looking at their girlfriends with similar eyes.

“Men,” Treble Mix said. “We are damn lucky.”

“Damn straight,” was the unified cry, and then they paraded onto the beach.

***

Their bickering had about died down by then, and when Flash and Mac had finally caught up to their girlfriends, they found that at the moment they were searching for a good place to set down their stuff. Other groups had gotten here before them, and for the most part most places were full. In the end the group from Canterlot High ended up crowding together, though not to their despair, but to their joy, as it meant they could share supplies and also talk amongst one another without needing to walk the extra distance.

Still, Gaige was insistent. “I don’t wanna sit next to everybody,” Flash heard her complaining to Ink. “I did that enough on the bus.”

“Come on, Gaige. They’re our friends. You really want to make this into a big deal?”

“It is a big deal! I thought the beach would be bigger!”

“It’s a beach, Gaige. If anything, it gets smaller the more times stretches on.”

“Oh, don’t talk to me like some romantic poet. You know I hate that time period.

“Heya, girls,” Mac called. He was standing in a spot just shy of the dark sand. “How about this spot here?”

Gaige turned to look. She paused, holding her bag close to her. Then she nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

Flash grabbed the mat from his own bag and set it down while Mac propped up an umbrella. They set their items on the mat. Then they looked out onto the great big blue.

“God, that looks sooo good,” Ink murmured.

Gaige smirked at her. “Thirsty, are you?”

“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.”

“I sure do.”

Still, the ocean looked refreshing. It was practically calling to her. Without another word, Gaige lifted her shirt and tossed it to the side, and grabbed the bottle of sunscreen from her bag. She spread it over her front, then glanced at Flash. “Oi, baka,” she said, as sweetly as she could, “put some sunscreen on my back.”

Flash stared.

“I think you broke him, Gaige,” Ink said.

“Nah, he’s just being an idiot.” She turned to face him directly. “Flash, didja hear me? I said—”

Flash, meanwhile, stared. He stared and was lost in the staring, mostly because Gaige, in her infinite wisdom and glory (“Aw, Jarvy, you flatter me so! Stop it.”) had forgotten to tell him that, under the suggestion of her brother Treble Mix, she had foregone her typical swimsuit attire—a very simple two-piece, mind—and had instead decided to go for something a little more eye-catching.

She wore a red halter top, with slightly darker frills coming down off the edges in an upside-down V formation and highlighted by bits of white. A similarly colored sash hung from her left hip down, and it was set in place by a tight knot. With her hair having grown, and this time having removed her pigtails so that her hair dangled limply and loosely down her back, she appeared even more striking to the starstruck boy.

A sharp breeze blew on past, ruffling up her hair. She tilted her head, having fallen silent, looking at Flash with concern. “Flash?” she called. “Um, you okay?”

Treble’s words flowed through his mind, and slowly, a grin stretched across his face. “More than okay,” he said stupidly.

Gaige shuffled in place, her face flushing. “Flash,” she whined, “quit it! You’re embarrassing me… Just put the sunscreen on, would you?” She turned away.

While Flash was… occupied, Mac, meanwhile, was trying his best to stifle a conscientious chuckle. The poor boy was in way over his head, but he wouldn’t say that, not while Gaige was around to hear. He instead grabbed his own bottle of sunscreen and, after putting some of it on, turned to Ink. “Want me to… to…” He felt his mouth slip open, and somehow he could not find the strength to close it again.

Ink giggled, her cheeks turning red against her lilac skin. “I, um, take it you like it?”

Ink usually was more of a modest dresser than perhaps her peers, but today she had decided, apparently, to be a little more daring. She wore a light-blueberry-colored monokini, an empty V stretching halfway down from her neck, and curling inwards around her hips and waist in an hourglass shape. The sides had been cut off, revealing her lilac skin. She looked at Mac, her hands tied together shyly behind her back. He felt his own face burning, and his own, stupid grin slyly growing across his face.

Ink undid the knot in her hands and brushed one through her hair, letting out a nervous giggle. “I know it’s not what I’d usually go for, but I saw this at the mall while I was out shopping with Gaige and Hazel recently, and I thought, it would look perfect, and, um, I hope it at least looks good, and oh God you’re staring at me, this is really embarrassing, maybe I should have gone for a halter top like Gaige—mmph!”

He’d stepped forward and silenced her with a kiss. She looked up at him, mildly miffed. “Cheater,” she murmured.

He grinned. “Normally I wouldn’t mind when you go off and ramble. ‘S cute an’ all. But trust me, Ink, you look perfect.”

She blushed again, then leaned in close and wrapped her arms around Mac. “Thank you,” she said. He could feel the heat of her face against his chest, and his smile grew wider.

“All right!” Flash exclaimed once they were all ready. “So, what’s first? Swimming? Surfing? Frisbee? Catch?”

“I’m up for catch,” Mac said. “You got—”

“Right here!” And he held up a special floater ball, colored pink so that it would stand out among the ocean.

“How about we make it interesting?” Gaige said. “Let’s play in teams. Flash and Ink, me and Mac. The goal will be to stop the other team from getting the ball.”

“Why Flash and me?” Ink said.

“Because it’s less predictable, obviously.”

So it was agreed, and they all made their way into the water, screeching as the cold waves struck their skin. Soon they were in waist deep, and the game began.

They were not particularly very good at it, on account of several things: first, the tides were at their highest, and though they were not far from land, the waves that pushed into them were big and strong and flattened hair and blocked sight more than a few gracious times; second, as Mac quickly found out, throwing a ball while submerged in water up to his ribs was a difficult task, and the arc he made with it was awkward and flimsy, and more than once ended up missing Gaige’s outstretched hands. Wading in and out and between the waves was also a strenuous activity, with the four of them slow and unsteady in their gait, spitting water out and carefully stepping around unseen shell bits and crabs and pieces of seaweed that tried to wrap themselves around their ankles.

In the beginning it was hard for any one side to earn an advantage over the other. But soon Mac adapted, and he and Gaige were able to keep the ball away long enough that Flash and Ink spent more time catching waves than the ball itself. Still, Gaige’s height (“Hey!”) proved equally troublesome, and more often she was sent hurtling down under the water, bobbing back up and shaking the seafoam out of her hair, glowering as Ink laughed at her.

“Maybe you should wear platform shoes,” Ink teased. Gaige attempted to splash water at her, but Ink managed to move away just in time.

Sometime into the game, then, the tables turned. Mac, who had been up until now the best thrower there, was caught off-guard mid-throw when a wave, unheard of and silent in its path, crashed into him. The ball sailed up haphazardly. The wind took hold of it and tossed it to the side, allowing Flash to grab it in his hand, squeezing the excess water out of it. “Ink!” he called. “Where are you?”

“I’m right here!” She raised both her arms and waved, before Gaige darted in front of her. “Hey! Move it, shortstack!”

“Shortstack?! When did you develop such a backbone?”

“Ever since I started hanging out with you, remember? Flash, over here!” Ink ducked to the side, and Gaige followed in front, blocking just enough of Ink that Flash hesitated.

“Baka, if you throw and make it, I won’t sleep with you!” Gaige threatened.

Flash turned a deep red, then shook his head. “That’s not— that’s not playing fair, Gaige!”

“Fair? This is catch! There’s no fairness in it! You gotta play dirty, you gotta play tough, you gotta—SONOFA! INK!”

“Sorry, Gaige! I didn’t mean to step on your foot, I swear!” But she was already paddling away, leaving Gaige to hop around on one foot. She looked around for Mac, and saw he was trying to clear the water from his eyes, having been completely submerged under the previous wave.

It was up to her, then.

She looked for Ink, and found her a short distance away. A wave interrupted her and Flash and made both of them hesitate. Gaige looked at Ink, then at her bathing suit, then at Flash. A slow, terrifying, and utterly sinister idea crept into her mind, and she quietly began swimming after her, ducking beneath the water so that neither saw her coming.

“I think we’re clear, Flash,” Ink said. “Throw it!”

“You sure? I don’t see Gaige, but that usually means she’s up to something.”

“She’s short, she can’t get up to anything, just throw it!”

Oh, she’s so dead.

Gaige peeked up behind Ink so that Flash couldn’t see her. Looking behind her, she saw a wave fast approaching. The timing could not have been any more perfect.

She reached up and took hold of Ink’s swimsuit just as Ink called, “Now, Flash!”

He threw it.

Ink reached out to grab it.

The wave struck, knocking her forward, and at the same time Gaige tugged and swam furiously away, letting the wave mask her presence.

“Ugh! Pffta!” Ink coughed as the water began to recede. “God, that water is disgusting!” She looked around for the ball, and found it off to the side. She grabbed it. “It’s all good, Flash! I got it!”

She looked at the boy, beaming. Then her smile slowly fell, and she tilted her head, confused. “Flash? What’s wrong?”

Gaige watched from a short distance away, giggling.

What Ink saw was a very red-faced Flash—his flushedness had completely disrupted his usual tangerine skin-tone, stretching seemingly all the way from his feet to the very top of his head. A small part of him—a voice, really, small and terrified—was screaming for him to turn away, to avert his gaze, but he found he could not. Frozen in place, he stared. He felt something warm drip from his face, warmer than the flushed cheeks. He knew it was blood before it had even hit the water.

“Flash?” Ink started forward, then stopped. She felt, suddenly, very cold, and very exposed.

She looked down. Slowly, she realized what had happened, and a scream shredded from her throat just as quickly as she crossed her arms around herself and turned away.

The scream brought Flash out of his foggy mind. “I-Ink! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t—you just—”

“STOP LOOKING YOU IDIOT!” she yelled right back.

“I didn’t mean to—”

But Ink stopped listening. She had a sneaking suspicion as to what had just happened. She looked around, and saw Gaige chortling loudly.

Gaige’s laughter died down when she saw the fire in Ink’s eyes. “Uh, heh heh… um, it’s just a prank, bro? Ink? Honey? Bestie?”

Meanwhile, Mac had recovered. He looked around for his friends, and saw Flash still looking at Ink. He was confused for a moment as to why they were all red-faced. Then, he caught sight of… and he could not complete the thought, his own mind succumbing to a primal anger that erupted in a war cry.

“EERRUUUGGHHH! FLASH! YER A DEAD MAN!”

“B-BIG MAC! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I DIDN’T MEAN—”

But he had to start swimming away, heading towards shore, while Mac cut through the waves like a shark and tore past Ink and Gaige.

Gaige let out a nervous bout of laughter. “Um… I don’t suppose you’ll leave me be? Ink? INK!”

She screamed. Ink screamed. Flash screamed. Mac screamed.

In the end the game was never completed, and no one could say who was the true winner. Not one of the players were, really, lucky.

***

By the end of Gaige’s tale, the faces of both Dahlia and Scree Mo were bright red. “Auntie Gaige,” Dahlia murmured. “That… wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“I don’t think any of us could have expected that,” Scree Mo said. The memory of his old crush came surging back, and he suddenly felt a near-overwhelming urge to head into the cleaning solutions aisle and down a couple gallons of bleach.

Gaige laughed at the two of them. “Ah, pansies. Come on, it was all in good fun! I mean, sure, I had a mean bruise for a bit from Ink, but, hey, we all thought it was funny afterwards.”

Then she winked. “Besides, your mother, Dahlia, well… I may not be interested in buying, but I know a good piece of merchandise when I see one.”

Dahlia’s face somehow grew even redder. Then, when Gaige said, “You’ve got your mother’s looks and assets, girl, don’t you worry!” she thought she might faint.

“Wait.”

That was Big Mac. He was in front of them, and slowly turned. He had an unreadable expression on his face. “Gaige,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Ya mean to say… that was you?!”

Gaige paused. “Um… yes? Ink never told you?”

Mac glared at her. Gaige giggled, nervous again. “Oops?”