Shouldn't Be

Chapters

Ch 1. Harsh Landing
Ch 2. Proper Introductions
Ch 3. INCOMING!!
Ch 5. Visit
Ch 6. Lost
Ch 7. Mail Call
Ch 8. Just Another Day
Ch 9. Attracted to Crashes
Ch 10. Unexpected sources
Ch 11. Guns and Pitchforks
Ch 12. The New Apple
Ch 13. I Need A Drink
Ch 14. Why can't Nothin Ever Be Easy?
Ch 15. Aftermath
Ch 16. INSPECTION!
Ch 17. It's Gonna be One of Those Days
Ch 18. Breakfast Antics
Ch 19. Housing Hijinks
Ch 21. The Doghouse Blues
Ch 22. Minus One
Ch. 23 Restless Night
Ch 24. Storms Forcasted
CH. 25 It's All Sunshine and Rainbows!
CH. 26 Grasping at Straws
CH 27. Secrets and Lies
CH. 28 Ever Had a Day So Bad That....
Ch. 29 Reunion
Ch. 30 Reaching Blindly
CH. 31 What the Hay?
Ch. 32 Orders
Ch. 33 Escape
Ch 4. The party to remember
Ch 20. My Little Orphanage of SUCK!

Ch 1. Harsh Landing

I woke up in a daze, not remembering what had happened as I tried to get the ground to stop rocking underneath me. What was I doing, where was I? Suddenly in a flash of light and sound I remembered it all, I was on a mission in southern Iraq, something about some IED maker, then we were ambushed by someone. We had just barely made it through when I was thrown from the helo. Sitting up suddenly I whipped out my pistol looking for potential threats, instantly regretting the sudden movement. As I clutched my head in pain and slumped back down to the ground I was grateful to have nice soft grass to lay my head on...

Wait... soft grass?

I struggled to open my eyes, and grimaced in pain as it seemed like I was being stabbed in the eyes with rusty nails. Looking around I saw myself surrounded by what seemed to be hundreds of trees with plentiful fruit hanging from the branches. I scooted myself under the closest one to me and noticed an odd shaped hole in the trees overhead.

"I guess this is the bottom of the rabbit hole, ‘cause this certainly ain't no Iraq." I thought bitterly, heck this place looks more like back home in the mountains of Virginia. I used to always sneak onto the orchard next door to my parents' farm and sneak naps in the safety of the apple trees.

"Hello!" I yell into the orchard, shattering the serene quiet that had been prevalent before. "Anyone out there?"

Waiting a few moments and hearing nothing in response I decide that I'm truly alone in this beautiful place, maybe this is heaven. Although that wouldn't explain the pain I was in, so maybe it was hell, being trapped in an endless orchard with no one but myself. I guess I won’t find out until I explore the place, so I sit up and try to will myself upright.

"So, standing up was much easier said than done." I thought to myself, looking down I could see that my right leg had a large gash running from just above my knee and stopping just below my body armor. Obviously my leg would not support my weight, forcing me to use my rifle as a crutch. I started walking in a random direction, hoping desperately that I would find someone or something that would indicate where I was. While I was walking I tried my radio, only to find it hanging in several pieces.

"There goes that idea, guess I should be glad it's not my head though." I said into the empty orchard.

After about an hour of walking I started hearing a weird noise coming from the otherwise silent orchard, almost like someone grunting followed by a hollow thunk, maybe something hitting a tree.

Hoping that it was someone that could help me I angled myself towards the noise, every now and then getting lost as the noise stopped for a moment or two, but right back on track of the noise started up a few yards from where it had been moment before. After what seemed like forever I started getting close to the noise, the hope of finally finding someone else invigorated me to hobble faster. As I came around a rather large tree I came face to face with an odd looking orange horse wearing of all things, an old stetson.

"What in tarnation?" It exclaimed as I backed away quickly, never seeing the bucket full of apples as I toppled backwards over it.

"Today was just like any other day on Sweet Apple acre farm." Applejack thought happily."Ah wouldn't change this for anything, but why is it ah keep finding myself wishing that something would happen, maybe another adventure with the girls is just what ah need."

Positioning the buckets under the heavily laden branches with practiced ease, she sighed to herself. "Of course ah can't just up and leave Big Mac here all alone tendin’ the farm by himself, now why did ah have to be the element of honesty, ah can't even lie to myself." She thought harshly.

"Maybe ah will go to that shindig that Pinkie is planin’ for next week, surely Big Mac can handle the farm on his own for a night." She said out loud to nopony in particular.

Behind her, she heard some rustlin', she really didn't pay attention to it though because it was probably just Big Mac comin to give her a hoof with the buckin'. Applejack paused for a moment, looking at the sun, Big Mac and Apple Bloom should be at the market all day at their stall, and it was more likely to be Princess Luna than Granny Smith. Turning around hoping to find one of her friends comin’ out to keep her company she came face to face with the weirdest critter she’d ever laid her eyes on.

"What in tarnation!" She exclaimed as the creature backed quickly away from her, a look of fear all over its face as it fell backwards over the buckets she had just filled.

She tried to stop, or at least slow, its' fall but to no avail as it bashed its head on a tree root, knockin’ the critter clean out. The critter, whatever it was, was now sprawled across the ground in a very painful position and Applejack could only feel a little guilty, as it was her who scared the darn thing half to death.

With a sigh, she grabbed it at the base of its oddly patterned tan shirt and started dragging it towards the farmhouse, making slow progress as the creature weighed much more than it appeared.

"Here ah was wishin’ for adventure and it comes fallin’ outta the sky." She thought. "But might as well take care of it, and get Twi and Fluttershy up here, one of them ponies was bound to know what it was, might also want to get Big Mac in case its dangerous."

Looking at the path back to the farmhouse, she groaned inwardly at the distance she was going to have to drag this critter.

"Now why can't more of our adventures be at the spa and need nothin’ other than me to relax all day long?" She thought bitterly.

Ch 2. Proper Introductions

Once again I woke up in a daze, luckily this time I was in a soft bed with clean sheets over me. I lay there for a moment of two, just soaking in the rays of sun from a nearby open window where the smell of sweet apple pie drifted up to me.

"Glad that dream is over." I said out loud to myself. "It's good to be back home...."

The rest of my sentence died on my lips as I opened my eyes and saw that the small room I was in didn't resemble home at all, it was much more rustic with its natural wood floors and furniture and the open window didn't even have glass in it. I sat up suddenly, hobbling as fast as I could to the door only to find it securely locked, the door not even wiggling in the frame. In a panic I hobbled over to the window and looked out to see if I could jump, and much to my displeasure I saw that I was on the second floor over a patch of bare ground. Not liking the prospect of falling from anymore great heights today I backed away from the window and looked for some alternative way out of the room. I was in the middle of tying together the sheets when a click from the door caused me to whip around to face my captor.

"Well good to see ya up, stranger, you had us worried there for a moment." Said that orange horse from earlier as it trotted into the room with a tray of food on it's back.

I cautiously kept my distance as it trotted over to the bedside table and set the tray of food on the table while a second horse entered through the door I had foolishly put behind me.

"Well I've never seen anything like this." The newcomer said behind me as I jumped in shock, landing on my bad leg causing me to cry in pain and collapse. Halfway to the ground a yellow streak shot through the open door and caught me and gently lowered me to the ground

"Oh you poor thing, did you hurt yourself? Let me help you." Said a third horse who had butter yellow fur and pink mane and tail.

"Careful now Fluttershy, we don't know what it is, it could be dangerous." Warned the purple one.

"He's just a poor widdle thing thats hurt, that's all." The one I guessed was "Fluttershy" said bashfully.

"Now wait one minute here, how'd ya tell it was a he?" Said the orange one, who was still next to the bed.

Fluttershy just blushed deeply and pointed at my groin, and to my dismay I noticed that this entire time I've been prancing around naked, like an idiot. I yanked the remaining sheet off the bed and wrapped it around my waist quickly, the horses averting their eyes and blushing a little as they realized what Fluttershy was referring to.

"Well that still doesn't tell us what "he" is." The purple one said as a book floated out of the saddlebags it was wearing, the cover of the book said, "Beasties, creatures, and animals, the adventurers guide to zoography" and the pages started turning on their own, the purple one concentrating on the book as it sat down and studied the book with ease that a college student would envy.

"Well until then ah guess we gotta fix this critter up." Said the orange one as it fished out a roll of gauze and a bottle of something from the tray of food and carried them towards me in its mouth. Fearful of of how well horses can fix me up I started backing away from them, towards the doors, only to run into another one’s legs, looking up it was much larger and was apple red with an old fashion yoke on its neck.

"Hey Big Mac, you mind keepin’ him still so we can help him?" The orange one asked

"Nope" He said with a deep voice with a familiar southern accent.

With "Big Mac" ensuring I wouldn't run away, Fluttershy and the orange one proceeded to wrap my leg up after spreading that cream on my wound, and they were surprising gentle despite the fact that they had hooves. As they were tying the knot to keep it on the purple one, looking frustrated, snapped the book shut with a "harumph".

"Looks like we're going to the zoo girls." She said, looking disappointed that she couldn't find the knowledge herself. "Applejack you mind tying him up so he doesn't try to run away?"

"No!" I exclaimed, pushing myself away, only to run into Big Mac... again.

"Twilight, couldn't you just ask him what he is?" Asked Fluttershy.

"I would've if somepony told me he could talk." She said rolling her eyes, looking at me now she asks, "So what are you anyways, Mr?".

Seeing all eyes on me I have no other choice than to talk now. "I'm Sergeant Castle of the United States Army, and I'm a human of course."

All of them look confused when Twilight suddenly exclaimed excitedly, "I'm going to have to ask the Princess about this, I'm sure she will be excited about hearing about a new species appearing!".

"While that's all fine and good hun, I think Sergeant here would rather enjoy his supper." Applejack interjected bluntly.

"And my clothes back." I added, getting weird looks from the horses.

"Okkaaayyyy." Applejack said hesitantly. "Oh! Alright." She hurriedly added after a moment or two of thought, blushing as she apparently remembered my earlier embarrassment.

"I'll have Big Mac bring them up later, they're kinda soakin’ at the moment." With that she trotted out the door, leaving me with a very curious Twilight and Fluttershy under the watchful eye of Big Mac.

"So where are you from Sergeant Castle?" Asked Twilight, who had a scroll and a quill floating in front of her, I didn't see where she had gotten them from and I had no clue how she was making them float.

"Ever heard of a place called Virginia?" She shook her head. "America?" Again another shake. "Earth?"

"Earth? That's what the Earth ponies wanted to call this land when they first moved here. They came here from a far off land and they were trying to escape from an impossibly cold winter, only after they worked together where they able to defeat the winter and warm the surrounding land, that's where we get our Hearth's Warming Eve holiday from." Said Twilight helpfully. "I'll have to remember to ask the princess if there's a connection in the next letter I send."

While Twilight was making numerous, and hasty, notes on her parchment I cleared my throat and asked,"How the hell are you doing that, is that some super advanced tech?".

Twilight paused for a moment, giving me a weird look as if I had just sprouted another limb from my forehead.

"Haven't you seen magic before?"

"Sure, but where I come from its all tricks or sleights of hand, there are somethings that have been described as magic in the past but we have found scientific reasons for the majority of them. Finding answers and always pursuing that next unobtainable has always been what has driven my people." I said as she hurriedly wrote notes, I didn't have the heart to tell her that a large number of breakthroughs we had were originally designed to give one side the advantage in war.

"That's fascinating!" She exclaimed, with almost schoolgirl delight. "I can't wait to hear about what kind of advancements your people have made to overcome such a disadvantage!" She paused after that last sentence with a slight blush, embarrassed by her insult that she didn't even really mean. Of course I really didn't care, she had spoken the truth and it has been mentioned a time or two to not piss off your captors, no matter how friendly they seem.

Big Mac, still standing in the doorway, spoke up, "Don't you have a letter to send Twilight? The princess would probably like hearin’ ‘bout this sooner rather than later."

"Ohmygosh, yourrightIreallyneedtogo." She said hurriedly as she rushed out of the room, the parchment and quill following her almost like lost puppies.

Fluttershy, who had been shyly watching me from across the floor seemed to get very nervous under Big Mac's direct stare, finally leaving the room whispering something about taking care of "Angel" whoever that was.

Big Mac took a step closer to me putting his rather large face directly in mine. "I don't trust you, if you so much as lay a hoof on either one of my sisters or my granny, healin’ will be the last of your worries." He said threateningly.

With that he left the room, slamming the door on his way out, and re-locking the door with a definite click. A weird thing to be saying to your prisoner, but if I was in his position I would most likely make the same threat.

Finally alone, I sat on the bed with a tired sigh, how hard did I hit my head? It took some convincing that having a conversation with talking horses was most definitely something restricted to hallucinations. The rumbling in my stomach prevented me from thinking further along those lines as I dug into the stack of pancakes and oatmeal that they had left. At least the hallucinations seem to know how to cook.

The Next Day

"RPG!" Yelled a soldier I didn't know as I sprinted across the street to an old burned out car, taking cover behind it, hiding from the hail of bullets from down the street.

"Wheres that air support!" I yelled at my radio man there, after he didn't respond I grabbed his shoulder and shook him, only to have his head roll off onto the ground.

The head of my battle buddy looked at me and smiled, "Don't worry sarge, you're here to save us!" laughing as it burst into flames.

Staring at the head in horror I was filled with rage. I turned and returned fire onto the enemies with a bestial shout that seemed to shake me to the core, my enemies, who seemed to multiply as I shot them, continued without even slowing. One of them ran up and jumped over the car, where I intercepted him mid-air and pinned him to the ground, pulling out my tac knife I went to stab him when his gas mask came off and revealed my Sarah.

"I love you." She said as my knife plunged deep into her chest, "I will always love you," her eyes tearing up, "but why did you have to leave, didn't you love me back?".

In shock I jump off her body as her precious blood leaked across the pavement. Stumbling backwards I look at my hands covered with the blood of my love, and looking around I'm surrounded by the bodies of all my soldiers... the ones I failed, the ones that died because I wasn't there to save them. It's all my fault, they're all dead because of me, it's all my fault. That was my test and I had failed, because of me their families, their wives, their Sarahs' would have to live without them. I went to my knees screaming in pain as a thousand bullets ripped through my soul, knowing each and everyone of them was deserved. If I was there, why wasn't I there?! It's all my fault, why them, why not me?

"Its all your fault!" A thousand disembodied voices screamed at me, laughing at me, their haunting face appearing, each one more and more disgustingly disfigured, more bloody, more destroyed, more my fault.

I woke up with a cry of pain, jolting myself out of the bed, accidentally shoving the orange pony off the other side. I just curled up onto the floor where I landed and cried, their laughter at my failure following me into the waking world. It was a long while before I even noticed a delicate hand on my head, petting my head in someone lap, making soft soothing noises, trying to shake me out of this hell.

After what must have been an eternity I finally had control of my body again, I sat back up and looked to see who had lent me a helping hand.

"You okay now Sergeant?" Asked a wide eyed Applejack, who wasn't wearing her hat for the first time I've ever seen.

"No, and it's not something to be fixed," I replied with a shaky voice. "and just call me Cass, everyone does."

"Okay," She said skeptically, looking out the window. "well it’s about time to get up anyways, come on downstairs when you're ready for breakfast, you're gonna have a busy day."

With that she trotted out of the room, throwing one last worried look over her shoulder before leaving, and going downstairs, where the sounds of cooking soon started.

It took a few minutes that seemed like an eternity for me to regain the rest of my composure. Finally after my hands stopped shaking I was able to grab the stack of clean and folded clothing from the floor just on the inside of the room and hastily dress, glad to be clothed again. Finally heading downstairs towards the smells of a delicious breakfast, desperate to get away from those dreams.

Ch 3. INCOMING!!

As I came down the steps the sounds coming out of the kitchen could have came out of any kitchen in America, the sizzle of pancakes on a girdle, a youngster hurriedly getting ready for school, someone humming some tune of a song long forgotten. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"This is the life I wanted with Sarah, somewhere nice and quiet, away from the horrors of the world, nestled between neighbors who were like family, somewhere we could raise our own." I thought sadly, knowing full well that I probably would never see her again.

With a sigh I cleared those negative thoughts out of my head and stepped into the kitchen. Big Mac, sitting in a chair with a stack of pancakes just looked at me, obviously not happy about me walking free through his house. Next to him was a much smaller yellow pony with red hair and a pink bow almost bigger than she was. She didn't notice me at first but when she did her eyes got huge, bigger than I would've ever guessed possible

"Umm, sis, is this the ‘pony’ you helped the other day?" She asked with a sweet voice.

"Yes he sure is sugarcuge." Said Applejack, who was the culprit behind the delicious smells.

"Umm, not to insult ya sis, but you do know that ain't a pony right?"

"Eeyup." Came Big Mac's response as he went back to work on the stack of pancakes in front of him.

"I bet ya you’re hungry." Said Applejack as she carried over two plates stacked high with pancakes, setting one in front of the little pony and the other in front of the empty seat next to Big Mac.

"Now just sit down an' eat." She ordered, an order I'll gladly accept too.

The meal they had given me last night had been delicious, but as i discovered to my immense joy that the pancake where much better fresh with a touch of maple syrup, if everything here tasted so good maybe being stuck here wouldn't be quite so bad.

I had just finished my pancakes when the little one jumped up and looked at her flank, and with a disappointed sigh she sat back down. Applejack, noticing my confusion spoke up from behind her own stack of pancakes.

"Apple Bloom's just tryin to get her cutie mark, though ah've never seen one for eatin’ pancakes."

"The I'd be the first!" She exclaimed proudly.

"Then ah'd hurry so you don’ get one fer bein’ late fer school."

There was a flurry of movement as Apple Bloom hastily grabbed her saddlebags and pulled a struggling Big Mac through the door, mentioning something about not wanting to keep Mrs. Cheerilee away from her shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weety pony pie.

Looking out the window at the two as they walked towards what I assumed was the school I drifted off, thinking of how I used to walk my little sisters to school then go work at the mill, only taking a break long enough to pick them up from school later in the night.

I was shook from my thoughts as I felt something poking me in the face, startled I jumped and almost fell out of the chair I was in. Looking to see who had brought me back to the "real" world I saw a worried looking Applejack.

"Are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yeah, sure, just give me somethin’ to do all day and I'll do just fine."

"Well since you’re offerin’," She said as I put the dishes into the sink, "I could use some help with the buckin' today."

"Woah! You want me to do what?!"

"Apple buckin', what did ya think ah said?" She said giving me a funny look.

"Yeah, if I told ya your brother would probably kill me."

"Oh darn him, I hate it when he is so protective, ever since we lost ma and pa he has never been quite the same."

Seeing tears in her eyes I quickly tried to change the subject to something less painful. Unfortunately being lost in a new world that you know absolutely nothing about, and guessing that telling them that you killed people for a living is probably not the greatest of ways to start a conversation, I had nothing. After a few moments of silence she shook her head and kicked open the door.

"Come on now, them apples ain't gonna pick themselves ya know."

We had been working for few hours when Big Mac came back, and Applejack took him behind the barn for some "discussin". Soon afterwards he left pulling what looked like a market cart heavily laden with everything apple, from ol' natural to fritters, and it was painfully obvious that he hated the idea of leaving his sister with someone potentially dangerous.

It had soon became apparent that I couldn't knock the apples from the trees so I was content on just hauling the full barrels back up to the barn. It was hard work but the day was beautiful, a slight breeze to cool me and plenty of shade from the trees. The skies were are a startlingly blue without a cloud in sight.

"Well ah'll be, ah've never worked quite so fast before, heck we almost done and it ain't even noon!" She said proudly.

"Well you've never quite had help like these babies." I said as I struck a funny muscle flexing pose, earning me a fit of laughter from the farm pony.

"Ah don't know what Big Mac was worried ‘bout." She said between fits of laughter. "Your as harmless as a kitten!"

"Am I to take that as a compliment?" I asked, bemused.

"Sure ya should, and since we're almost done how ‘bout ah take ya into town and show ya around, seein’ how this place is probably gonna be your home for awhile."

"Is that the best of ideas? I really don’t think that your townspeople will take kindly to having a large weird creature wandering through town."

"Don't cha worry ‘bout it sugercube, at first a few will probably slam their doors and shutters like they did with Zecora when she first moved here, but if need be ah'll kick them doors down myself!"

"Please don't, I really don't want you dipping into my wages to pay for doors you kicked down."

"Now which pony said ah was gonna pay ya?" She said with a big smile on her face as she trotted towards the path to town. "You still gotta earn that breakfast ya ate!"

Applejack was only partially right, we walked into town without any pony really noticing me until we had gotten onto one of the busier streets when suddenly one pony pointed and yelled, "A MONSTER IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU APPLEJACK, RUN!". Most of the ponies on the street, instantly stopping whatever they were doing, stared right at me wide eyed.

"Ummmmm, hi." I said sheepishly, giving a small half-hearted wave.

Yeah, apparently not one of my smarter moves as every pony scattered with screams of terror. One even tried to grab Applejack to "save" her only to be scared off by something even scarier than little ol' me, a furious looking Applejack.

"STOP RIGHT THERE YA'LL!!" She yelled loud enough that my ears were ringing afterwards.

Once again every pony in sight skidded to an instant halt, all eyes now focused on Applejack.

"Ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves, Cass here is friendly as a bunny. Just cause he looks weird don't mean you can hide from him! Heck, ya'll should be welcomin’ him to town!" She yelled, slightly quieter, slightly.

After that little outburst the crowd looked around with blushes on their faces, meekly continuing with what they were doing before I had appeared. A few of the braver ones came up to me and shook my hand, welcoming me to "Ponyville", most quickly disappeared as if I was going to hurt them.

The good new about every pony avoiding me is that we made good time through the crowd towards what Applejack had described as the best place to eat after a long day at work, despite the fact that she had already admitted to being done for the day in record time.

We arrived at what could only be described as a yummy looking building, with wonderful smells coming from within. Applejack seeing me hesitate pushed me towards the door. I opened the door entering the small but cozy shop with a small tinkle from the bell above the door announcing my arrival.

KA-BOOM!!!

They're here, how did they get here, this is too peaceful of a place for war to come, its all my fault if I didn't come it never would've come here...

"SMACK"

My eyes came back into focus on Applejack's face, and I saw her lips moving but didn't hear a thing. She shook me a little, yelling at me now, the worry on her face becoming more evident as I struggled to try to understand her. I looked around and saw that I was behind a flipped table, the items that had been on the table spread across the room that I could see. There were streamers hanging from the ceiling and balloons floating lazily through the air, oblivious to the drama in the room.

"Huh?" I mumbled out of my dry mouth, it barely wanting to do what I wanted it to.

"Ah said it's just a surprise party!" Yelled Applejack right next to my ear.

"Ow" I said as I raised my hand to my ear, only to nearly stab myself in the eye with a knife clutched in a death grip, when did that get there?

"Did he not like my surprise?" Came a sweet, but sad sounding voice from above me.

Looking up I saw a pink pony with wild curls for hair which currently held about a dozen or so cupcakes that had most likely been on the table that had been flipped, leaning over the edge of the table I was behind. Behind her I saw a few other pairs of eyes cautiously peering over the edge.

"Ah'm sure you just scared him a bit too much Pinkie Pie, he is new to our town and ain’t used to your surprises." Said Applejack gently nudging me with her hoof.

"Uhhh, yeah, ummmmm, you just scared me Pinkie." I mumbled out, mouth still not wanting to function.

"Does that mean we can still party?" She asked excitedly, I wondered if she had ever considered switching to decaf.

"Yeah," Came Applejack quick reply. "just no more explosions, you might just kill Cass with the next one."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Came her bubbly response as she turned to presumably restart the party that I had so expertly destroyed, taking the other pairs of eyes with her.

"You okay?" Applejack asked for the second time today, the worry written all over her face.

"I don't know." I replied shakily, "Could you help me?" motioning towards my hand with the knife with my free hand, apparently that hand had forgotten how to let go.

After a bit of struggling to open the hand we finally pried the knife, which happened to be just a cake knife, from my hand. I stood up with a bit of support from Applejack and turned around to behold a scene of utter chaos. There were cupcakes everywhere, a few were even sticking to the "Welcome" banner, everything was soaking with a purple liquid, probably from the empty punch bowl sitting upside down on the cash register. Every pony in the room watched me warily as if I was about to break. The only people who seemed to be happy were two baby ponies, who sat next to a rather large cake, and were busy hoof painting with the frosting and eating the cake.

"SURPRISE." Pinkie whispered bouncing where she was, her excitement evident even though I ruined her party.

"I...Ummmmm......" I felt a gentle nudge from Applejack, reassuring me. "Sorry ‘bout ruinin’ everything." I said with a silly half-grin.

"Oh its ok." Said Pinkie, who was still bouncing. "I was just so excited to throw you a party after seeing you in the market earlier that I didn't even stop to see if you liked surprises."

"Ummm...Thanks." Talking to a bouncing pony was harder than it seemed, but her innocence was infectious. "I'm actually good with surprises, just not explosions or similar noises."

"Good to know, maybe next time we won't start the food fight so early!" She said, still bouncing.

"Ummm, if you don't mind me askin’ what is this all for anyways?" Her bouncing was really starting to get on my nerves now, how could she do that so fast without getting at least a little winded? "No offense or anything but I don't even know ya."

"Well duh." Came her exasperated reply, "That's what the party is for you silly goosie, so I can met you and become your friend!"

I guess Ponyville is next to either the biggest coffee plantation in the world or the largest insane asylum, ‘cause thats the craziest reason I've ever heard for throwing such an impromptu party. Although I guess I really shouldn't complain. Another gentle nudge from behind reminded me that the "real" world still existed.

"Well, where do we start this party?" I said, Pinkie finally stopped bouncing to give me the biggest, friendliest smile I've ever seen, but why does it scare me SO much..

Ch 5. Visit

My alarm clock was beeping somewhere off to my right, and in my drowsy haze I instinctively reach out and start swinging my arm around hoping to find the stupid thing when it connected with something soft. Opening my eyes to see which one of my soldiers I just smacked in the face I saw Fluttershy, who was wide eyed with surprise. Guess that being in this world wasn't a crazy dream.

"Sorry," I muttered, letting go of the lock of her hair I had grabbed. "What happened? Last thing I remember was finding...." Sitting straight up I started looking for Applejack.

"Is she okay?!" I yelled, grabbing Fluttershy's shoulders, "Is Applejack okay?"

"Meep" Came Fluttershy's response as I shook her.

Seeing that I had scared Fluttershy into speechlessness, I swung my feet out of the bed, ripping all of the carefully placed needles and sensors out of my arms and off of my chest, causing all of the monitors next to the bed to start screaming in warning. I stood shakily and pushed my way out of the room past the doctors and nurses trying to subdue me. Entering the hallway I saw a nurses’ counter piled high with stacks of paperwork. Making my way to the desk I vaulted over it and started looking through the piles for a roster of some type. Under one of the piles I found a clipboard, grabbing it and giving it a sharp yank sent the pile that was on top of it toppling all over the nurses who were still trying to subdue me. The clipboard had a hoof written note clipped up on top.

"Must thank Zecora for providing the cure for the cockatrices victims in room 203."

Hoping that's who I'm looking for I use the rollie chair that was behind the desk as a battering ram to get through the ever-growing crowd of nurses and doctors trying to stop me, I could see their mouths moving and yelling at me but their voices never made it to my ears. Abandoning the chair after getting through the crowd I took off at a dead sprint down the hallway, quickly out distancing the confused crowd. Looking to my right and left, I saw the small signs with room numbers whizzing past me, too fast for me to really read them. Stopping and looking for a moment I saw the door I was looking for just a bit further down the hallway, just as the fastest of the doctors caught up to me and tried to keep me still with his magic.

Needless to say, he found out that he really can't restrain me if he's flying over the heads of the other doctors.

Knowing it was only a matter of time before they caught me I sprinted to the door and crashed into it shoulder first, shattering the door frame. Landing on my face I looked up to see Applejack’s head sitting on the floor, still stone.

"No, not Applejack!"

"What in tarnation are you talkin’ about, ah'm over here." Came Applejack’s voice from behind a curtain.

I jumped up and whipped it open, revealing the orange mare laying on her back under the blankets, her stetson sitting on the nearby nightstand. She still had stone dust in her mane but you couldn't tell otherwise that she had been a statue the night before.

"How you feelin?"

"Much better now that she's cured of that nasty curse the cockatrice’s eyes can cast, which would've been easier to do if we could've found the dang thing," said Twilight as she entered the room. The doctors and nurses crowded the hallway outside of the room but for some reason stayed there, giving me very nasty looks.

"Ah could've told him myself," said Applejack who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but in the room.

"I know you could've," said Twilight gently, "but I need to talk to Cass, alone."

"Umm sure, gimme a moment. Hey, Applejack, ‘bout last ni—"

"Now," she said assertively.

Twilight not giving me more time to talk, picked me up with her magic and carried me out of the room and into a neighboring room that was empty.

"She won't remember last night," said Twilight as she dropped me onto a bed.

"Why, is there something wrong?"

"Well other than being turned to stone last week, no."

"Well that's good I guess but still...Wait, last week? It happened last night!"

"No, you've been unconscious for 8 days. When we first brought you in you had fallen unconscious due to blood loss, and the doctors here gave you blood transfusion. Unfortunately there were a few complications, turns out human blood and pony blood are too different to be compatible. The shock to your system and the blood loss together almost killed you, fortunately for you I know a few spells that they didn't and we were able to save your life, barely. As for Applejack and Big Mac, since we couldn't find the cockatrice that turned them to stone we were only able to make a partial cure, Applejack only just burst through the shell today, and it seems like the last thing she remembered was you flipping a table when Pinkie Pie surprised you."

"And Big Mac?"

"He hasn't burst his shell yet, he’s in the bed on the opposite side of Applejack."

"So she won't remember that kiss?"

"Oh that did happen? I thought that it was some crazy rumor. But no she probably won't remember it."

"Good."

"That bad?"

"No, my reaction was."

"Well I didn't bring you in here to clear the gossip clouds up, I have a few more serious questions for you Mr. Cass," said Twilight quietly. Whatever she wanted to know wasn't something pleasant. "What happened there? When Rainbow Dash and I showed up you were in a clearing, unconscious, and everything around you was covered with blood. The cockatrice was nowhere to be found but we found no evidence of something else in the area. The only alternative that we saw was that you did something to it.”

She paused, giving me a hard stare. "I wish I could tell you, but I truthfully don't know. The last thing I remember was running into the clearing, watching as Applejack turned into stone, after that, nothing. But I know what did it. Before I tell you though I should tell you what I did back home, before I came here."

"What does that have t—" I shushed her by putting my finger up.

"I didn't interrupt so please do the same." Patting the bed next to me, I told her, "Might want to sit down though, it's going to be a bit of a discussion."

She climbed up next to me and waited patiently as I collected my thoughts.

"On my old world I was a member of the United States Army, one of the larger nations on our world. My job was to kill people, and I was, or rather am, very good at it. I was good enough to be quickly promoted to the rank of sergeant and be given my own squad to command. We had been at war with several countries in an area called the Middle East for many years. However they were just a prelude to a much larger war when another country, who was very militaristic, invaded the area also. Where we were trying to work with the local populace to try and win ‘hearts and minds’ they just swept through and tried to kill everyone. Needless to say the locals reacted out of fear and started trying to kill everyone else also. The United Nations, which is a government that tries to govern the other governments, asked the US to stay and try to be a police force in the area. That was 6 years ago. Now its called the New Wild West, or the NWW, because it is the largest area of lawlessness in existence. I have been there for about 3 years straight, they've tried to promote me a few times but every time I've turned them down because I wanted to stay in the fight." I paused to let her absorb this information.

"Why did you go in the first place?" she asked quietly.

"Revenge, clean and simple. I lost my brother, my sister, my niece and nephew, my mother, everyone I held dear in my life." I started to tear up, not even caring that she was seeing me cry, "I lost them all in one day, the locals from the NWW are also sometimes called terrorists, because they do great acts of evil and destruction, using fear as a weapon. After the North Koreans invaded the Terrorists retaliated against the US for whatever reason and loaded a convoy of 18 wheelers with powerful chemical weapons and drove them into the capital of my nation, a place known as Washington DC. Just outside of the city limits they detonated the bombs and spread its deadly poison through the city. I was in an exhibit at the museum there, it was one for the first manned mars landing, and it involved us entering a sealed container to see what it was like to live the way the astronauts did on their way to the moon. It had a large glass window so we could see out and our families could see in and take pictures of us in there. I had entered with my father and had left everyone else outside because they weren't really interested in stuff like that, but me and my dad where, I still remember when he brought home my first telescope... Anyways, we were in there and they had just sealed the doors when the bombs went off, knocking the power out and locking us in, luckily for us though the air system for the room had a backup generator. But the rest of my family was still outside as the poison hit. You remember how I said that the Terrorists liked using fear as a weapon? Well this was a prime example, the toxins they had chosen to use killed very slowly and painfully. Me and my Dad had to watch, unable to help, as our entire family slowly died before us. I still remember the cries of my niece and nephew, they weren't even a year old yet." I stopped the memories becoming too painful.

"That's horrible," said Twilight gently, tears in her eyes as well.

"We spent three whole days in that coffin, with nothing to do but stare at our dead families. My dad simply lost all drive, he was never the same, and no one has even heard him speak since then. The day they got us out, I went and found a recruiter, I was burning with anger, four weeks later I was at a place called Fort Knox. They had to reopen old training bases because how many were signing up, and I was just another face in the crowd at the beginning. But I had drive, I had the killing instinct as the Drill Sergeants had called it, I quickly rose through the ranks and by the time I first deployed I was a Corporal. On my first mission we were ambushed, all the leadership was killed in the opening volley, leaving me the highest ranking soldier there, in command of 9 other soldiers who had also survived, out of 70 some soldiers. We held our position for six days. When our weapons stopped working, we grabbed one of our dead buddies weapons, when we ran out of ammo, we stripped some more off another buddy. It took six days for another battalion to fight their way to us, and when they found us they found only three living soldiers, including myself. But we had successfully killed over a thousand enemies, delaying them, and in the long run, probably saving even more thousands of American lives. For that mission I received many awards and medals, I truthfully don't know or care about any of them, I had gotten what I wanted for six days, I had gotten my revenge." I paused to let her absorb that information, she was staring at me with a mixture of sorrow and terror, I truthfully don't blame her.

"You said you knew what happened, why you can't remember?" she asked, probably trying to hear something other than the horror that had been my life.

"Yeah, the human brain can only handle so much death. After a while the brain, in defense, just turns off letting to body react, it happened for the first time in that museum, but that hardly was the last time. Anytime there was danger I just blanked out and become a ruthless killing machine with no mercy, completely unstoppable, completely out of control, completely a hundred percent monster. I'm guessing last night, seeing one of my few friends here die, just made me snap. There probably isn't even anything left of the cockatrice for you to find."

"Is this why ya have nightmares and react the way ya do?" Asked Applejack from the doorway. Crap, how much did she hear, how can she even stand looking at such a thing as myself?

"Yeah, because while my conscious brain doesn't know what I do, my subconscious does. They have something similar back on my world called PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but what I have is not what I consider that, there are people who've seen worse than me and don't have PTSD, so how can I?"

"Ah don't care what its called, you come to me if ya need me, no matter the time or place."

"Thanks," came my mumbled response.

"Any change with Big Mac?", asked Twilight.

"No, but I came over to ask if my friends minded comin’ and sittin’ with me, to, umm... Greet him when he wakes up." she said hesitantly.

"Sure, I'll be right there." I said as I stood up, walking after her into the hallway, where the doctors and nurses were still waiting for me, murder gleaming in their eyes. Stopping just at the doorway, I turned to Twilight, "Please tell no one else what I just told you, not even Princess Celestia, somethings need to be said in person."

"Stick a cupcake in my eye," she said solemnly as I followed Applejack through the crowd.

I was snoring peacefully, thoroughly enjoying a sleep without nightmares, when I was poked awake. Blinking hazily and looking down I saw it wasn't Applejack, she was still asleep and had at some point fallen onto my lap and was drooling profusely. Looking up I saw Big Mac's still statue form, mouth slightly open in shock. Thinking I was going insane I closed my eyes again and leaned back against the wall when I was poked again, harder this time though. I opened my eyes again and looked around harder, looking for the disruptor of my sleep, noticing this time a pair of eyes that seemed to hover in front of the window.

"We need to talk Sergeant," came a gentle voice, "Care to take a walk with me?"

Gently moving Applejack’s head off my lap and setting it gently on a nearby pillow, I followed what I now saw was a rather large mare who was a dark blue, her hair looked a lot like the night sky and her flank had a blotch of black and the moon on it.

"Hello Princess Luna," I said flatly as we left the room.

"I presume Twilight has told you of me?"

"No." I pointed to a picture as we passed, it had Princess Luna surrounded by a group of young fillies in costumes, the caption said "Thanks for a great Hollows eve, Princess Luna."

"Ah," she said as she led me outside, along a cobblestone path that led through the gardens near the hospital.

"So how may I help you this beautiful night, Princess?"

"Just this," she said as her horn glowed and she touched it to my forehead, sending waves of electricity through my body.

I felt my feet leave the ground and all I could see was the glow of her horn, and just as suddenly as it started it stopped, letting me fall to the ground, panting as if I had just ran an eight mile run.

"What.... did you..... do?" I asked between gasps.

"I'm sorry but I had to make sure my friends were safe, and that you were not going to harm them. Not knowing what type of character you are, I took the cautious path and read your mind." She actually looked a little shaken, maybe she hadn't liked what she had seen.

"You did what?" my voice hiding a barely contained rage.

"I apologize, but you know that I know that if you were in my position you would do the same exact thing. You cannot lie to me anymore Cass, I know everything about you."

"Then excuse me for not being happy, you have me at a bit of a disadvantage!"

"The link can work both ways if you wish," she said, quieter.

"And why would I want to invade your mind, your last inner sanctum, the only fortress that should never be penetrated!" I was yelling now.

"This is why," she responded simply as her horn glowed again and, before I could react and move out of the way, she touched it to my forehead once more.

Once again, waves of electricity ran through my body, but this time it was different, instead of just seeing her horn glow I saw her, the real her, the one she kept hidden for fear of ridicule. I saw before her imprisonment, when she and her sister where the best of friends, when she depended so much on her. I saw her on her prison moon where she spent a thousand lonely years, crying because she was so lonely, feeling a betrayal deeper than I could've ever imagined. She was just as lost in this world as I was, the only difference was she had someone helping her, several someones actually.

I fell back to the ground, knees giving out underneath me, leaving me in a crumple on the ground. Looking up I saw she had fared no better, she was laying on her side, panting just as heavily as I was before.

"Why did you do that?"

"To show you that you aren't alone in this world, don't let yourself push away your new friends here, let them help you. I will tell you right now that you cannot go back to your world, the magic required would be so great it would destroy this world, but I can show you what is happening on your world. Not right now though, I've used far too much magic, flying home is not a task I am looking forward to at the moment." Somehow, knowing that she was telling the truth calmed me down alot.

"Thank you, Princess."

"Luna, I don't like it when my friends can’t relax near me."

"Okay Luna, you can just call me Cass."

With a smile on her face, she took off and flew away, leaving me alone in the garden.

And dammit, I don't know how to get back to the hospital.

Ch 6. Lost

I can't believe that I let myself get lost, I couldn't even see the hospital from where I was. Wishing now that I had the presence of mind to at least grab my boots before coming on this walk with Princess Luna, I began climbing on top of a nearby bench to get my bearings. Thankfully I could see buildings a little bit further away.

"Guess that's the only lead I'm gonna get." I said to no one in particular as I jumped down off the bench.

Walking into the town I saw that while the majority of the ponies were still asleep there was a surprising large number of them that rushed to get to whatever tasks they had to do this early in the morning. Most of the ponies though gave me a wide berth once they saw me, not surprising, not everyday you see a 6'3" human walking through the streets in the early morning, wearing nothing but a pair of tattered DACU pants, and a tan undershirt. Heck even in my old world I would've been avoided like the plague, and here most of the ponies have never seen a creature like me.

Up ahead on the road I saw a taller pink building that had lights on in one of the rooms, apparently someone was still burning the midnight oil. The building itself looked like whoever lived in it liked being in a spotlight. With a sigh I walk up to the purple door and knocked, figuring that I would either scare the resident halfway to death or they would point me in the direction of the hospital.

"One moment," came a sophisticated voice from within. There was a sound of a pony trotting up to the door just before it swung open, revealing a white unicorn who, upon seeing me gasped and collapsed.

"Ah crap," I ran in to help the pony up and carried her into the next room, which happened to be a dark kitchen. I somehow managed to stub my toe on a chair painfully before laying the pony on the table and was blindly searching for a light switch when the lights suddenly turned on, leaving me momentarily blinded.

"What did you do to my sister?!" A younger voice yelled at me as I was tackled from behind.

"Nothing, I swear!" I yelled as tiny hoofs pelted the back of my head as I ran around the room attempting to dislodge the smaller pony who was riding my shoulders without hurting her, much.

"Nothing?! You come to our house and knock her out and then carry her into the kitchen where you can do your evil things to her you, you, big ol' meanie!" she yelled right into my left ear.

"I just knocked on the door and she passed out!" I yelled back

"You big meanie, you’re lying!" she screamed into the same ear

"I'm telling the truth, I swear....."

"STOP RIGHT THERE" I skidded to a stop and felt one or two more half-hearted strikes against my head, both of us staring at the very, very angry looking white unicorn.. "Sweetie Bell is that anyway to treat a guest?”

"But Rarity, he was going to sacrifice you to Nightmare Moon!" said Sweetie Belle, who was still riding me... god the Soviet Russia jokes I could make right now.

"No he wasn't, can't you tell that he is dying to get out of those awful clothes? My eyes burn just looking at him, AND, its Princess Luna now, Nightmare Moon is no more." Rarity said as she hopped off the table, levitating the small pony off my back, where she aimed one last kick to the back of my head.

"Now go back to bed, you've got school in a couple of hours."

"But!" Sweetie Belle complained.

"No buts, now march your butt to bed right now, young miss!" Rarity ordered.

"Aww" said Sweetie Belle as she went up the stairs, head hanging low.

"Thanks," I said rubbing the back of my head, looking at the damage I had done to the kitchen.

"Come with me, Mr....." said Rarity as she left the room.

"Sgt Castle, but call me Cass," I said following her into a messy room with cloth spread across almost every flat surface of the room.

"Okay Mr. Cass, lets get you out of those clothes," she said as several tape measures floated toward me.

"Umm, Miss Rarity I really don't have time for this, I really need to get back to the hospital, and when Princess Luna visited —"

"Princess Luna is here?" She asked, looking around for her.

"She was here, she left awhile ago, but when I went on that walk with her I unfortunately got lost, and since I'm new here, I don't know my way back. I saw your lights on and I hoped you could give me directions," I explained to her quickly before she could interrupt me again.

"But I simply cannot let you walk around in such an atrocious outfit!" she said, the tape measures floating closer.

"Fine, if it would make you happy I can let you take a few measurements, and I'll pay for the new clothes when I can. But I am not removing my pants."

Giving me a funny look she started taking my measurements, asking me a few questions now and then, and occasionally ordering me to demonstrate my range of motion for a particular joint so she could make sure my new clothes would fit right.

"Well that should do for now," she said after what seemed to be an eternity, "And don't worry about paying, I simply cannot let you walk around in those."

"I do have another favor to ask then, if you don't mind."

"What is it my dear."

Pointing to the large hole in my pants that was stained with blood, "How are you at fixing holes?"

"Oh I can do more than fix holes," she said with a grin as her horn glowed and she got it close to the pant leg. Not only did the hole seem to just disappear, the frayed sides simply reattaching themselves to the opposite side, but all the dirt and blood simply lifted off and floated in a cloud into a nearby trash can. When she was done not only did my DACU pants look brand new but the tan undershirt was also clean.

"Wow, you're going to have to teach me that trick."

"Another time, but the sun is coming up and you should get back to the hospital before the doctors come looking for you."

"It's Applejack I'm worried about," I muttered under my breath.

"Wait, are you that Cass? The heart breaker? I thought it had been somepony that caught her fancy," she said in a harsh tone. "You better have a good reason for hurting her the way you did."

"Umm, yeah, but I didn't mean to hurt he,." I said quickly as a nearby potted plant came flying at my head.

"Thats what they all say! Your reasons better be the best reasons in Equestria if you want to keep that head attached!" She yelled that last sentence as another potted plant came sailing across the room.

"Yeah, I'm already engaged to someone on my world, and I don't think it would work out, me being a human and all!" I was still dodging potted plants, geez how many of them did she have?

"Harumph, I guess one of those is a good enough reason," she said as the other potted plants floating behind her went back to their places on the shelves.

"Sis what’s going on?" Came Sweetie Belle's voice from the top of the stairs.

"Nothing dear, now go back to sleep," said Rarity sweetly. "Now you Mr. Cass, you'd better hurry back to that hospital and be there before she wakes up," she added with much more hostility

"Sure, but you still haven't told me how to get there," I said, still hiding behind the stage she had in the middle of the room, expecting more plants to barrage me.

"Leave my house through the front door and take a right, then take your third left and continue on that road, it should lead you directly there," she said as she opened her door for me.

"Thank you Miss Rarity, I promise I'll get there ASAP." I said as I started jogging down the road.

"Oh and Mr. Cass," she called sweetly after me, I stopped and turned, only seeing the potted plant after it was too late to move out of its way.

As I was picking myself up off the road, brushing the dirt off my face, she called after me, "Don't ever do that to my friend again!" and then slammed her door, leaving me in the early morning alone.

Guess I don't have time to be wasting, looking at the rapidly rising sun, and took off at a fast pace towards the hospital.

Arriving at the hospital just as the sun peaked over the horizon I ran through the large double door entrance, barely slowing down as I sprinted past the sleepy looking nurse who sat at the front desk. I skid to a stop outside the door where Applejack had kept watch over her brother through the night and quietly opened the door to tiptoe into the room, attempting to not wake her. As I entered the room I was relieved to see that nothing had changed in my absence other than Applejack, who had rolled out from underneath the blanket we had been sharing before. She was now lying on her back, her 4 hooves sticking into the air, slightly curled. I grabbed the blanket and gently covered her up, trying hard not to laugh as she snored cutely. I sat back down where I was before and decided to get a couple winks of sleep before the day really started. I had barely closed my eyes when Applejack, still fast asleep, scooted closer to me, putting her head back into my lap. With a smile on my face I drifted off to a welcome sleep.

Ch 7. Mail Call

I woke up to a gentle shaking, slowly rocking me back and forth. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Fluttershy trying to wake me up.

"Mornin' Fluttershy, what's up?" I mumbled groggily. Looking around the room I saw Applejack was sitting on her bed eating a sandwich, and Big Mac was still a statue, although cracks had started to form at his joints.

"Just to see if you wanted lunch?" she said quietly, hiding behind her mane.

"Lunch? Sure that sounds wonderful!" I said as I stood and stretched out my aching joints. "Oh and Fluttershy, I'm sorry about scaring you yesterday, I just overreacted a bit."

"Its fine, it was even a little cute to see you worry about her so much," she said with a grin.

With a sigh I sat in the chair next to Applejack and opened the tray cover, revealing a dandelion and cucumber sandwich, with steamed broccoli as a side. The hunger in my stomach made an argument against eating flowers a moot point. The sandwich itself was bitter because of the dandelions but it was exactly what I needed after last nights adventures.

"So the nurse said Princess Luna visited last night," said Applejack, who was chewing in her broccoli.

"Yeah, she wanted to make sure I was safe to be around," I said awkwardly.

"What in tarnation? Does no pony believe me when ah say your as harmless as a kitten?" she asked, getting angry.

"They just want to be sure, I would also want to be if I was in their position," I said trying in vain to calm her.

"You know what I mean, ah'm the element of honesty for Pete's sake," she was almost yelling now.

"Yeah, I know, last night Princess Luna also took the time to explain a lot of things to me, I think she was trying to help me settle into this world better." Hoping that by staying calm she'll follow suit.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," said Twilight as she entered the room.

"Nope, ya ain't interruptin’ a thang," said Applejack with a harumph.

"Well good," Twilight said, completely oblivious to the anger that seemed to be coming off Applejack in waves. "I just have a letter for you Mr. Cass."

"It's just Cass, my father is Mr. Cass."

"Okay, though I do wonder why Princess Luna is sending you letters through Spike rather than the normal mail system, I don't think I've even gotten a letter from Princess Luna!" she said, sounding disappointed.

"Okay, can I get my mail?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, sorry." Applejack rolled her eyes as Twilight turned her back, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Thanks," I said as it floated out of her saddlebags and over onto my tray of half-eaten lunch.

Gently opening the scrolls seal I see a very elaborate writing that only took up a small portion of the page.

"Dear Cass

I enjoyed our walk together last night and I apologize once again for leaving so abruptly, and I do hope you made it back to your room at the hospital okay. I am sending you this letter to invite you to the Royal Canterlot Castle. I had mentioned that while I could not send you home I could let you see into your world, and I intend to keep my promise, any time you want to be able to see home just present yourself to the royal guards at the gate, they will be expecting you. Oh, and bring as many friends as you please.

Sincerely, Luna"

Carefully rolling the scroll back up, I look up to see all three ponies in the room watching me expectantly.

"The Princess has invite us to the castle, whenever we please, she says she can show me my home." I said, I had forgotten that she said she could not send me home, the sorrow of never being among my own was killing me slowly inside.

"Well I have nothing planned for this weekend," said Twilight cheerfully, nudging Fluttershy who just nodded.

"Well if it’s important to you it's important to me," said Applejack, laying a hoof on my arm.

With a weak smile, I said, "Looks like we’re going to see the Princess then, can you send a letter back to the Princess, Twilight?"

"Sure," she said, floating a blank scroll and an old fashioned feather quill towards me.

"Hmmm," looking at the quill I remember something. I went over to where my DACU jacket was hanging on a hook on the wall and took one of my pens out of the pen pocket on the left arm. Returning to the scroll, I scratched out a short message

"Thanks for the invite, will be there this weekend, and thank you once again.

Cass"

Handing the letter to Twilight, she pointed at my pen and said, "You said you had no magic."

"Not magic, just a normal pen. Much easier carrying this around than a quill and ink. Want to borrow one so you can study it, see if you can recreate something similar here?"

"Would I ever!" she said as she nearly yanked my arm out of socket with her magic as she grabbed the pen, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Umm, Applejack," interrupted Fluttershy from across the room.

"Yes Fluttershy?" she answered gently.

In response she merely pointed over behind the curtains, where, as if in response, there was a sharp crack and the sound of stone falling to the floor. Applejack leapt up, and using my lap as a springboard, launched herself across the room over to her brother. I walked over and peaked around the curtain, trying not to interrupt what was most likely going to be a touching family reunion. Applejack, forelegs wrapped around his neck was crying softly as stone continued to slide off of her brother. He looked slightly dazed and confused, but otherwise okay.

"Big Mac!" she sobbed into his mane "you're finally awake."

"Eeyup, but what happened?"

"Cass saved us, that what happened!" she said, completely ignoring the look of shock and hate her brother was sending me over her shoulder.

"Mind explainin’ that?"

Ch 8. Just Another Day

After Applejack explained to a very skeptical Big Mac how I had saved them from a cockatrice, he was still giving me looks of distrust, but mixed with... something else, I was not quite so sure, but if I had to guess it would have to be respect?

Soon afterwards the doctors came in, very delighted that we had recovered so quickly and, despite wanting to "study" me further, released Applejack and me. Applejack, not wanting to leave her brother in the hospital, refused to leave until he insisted that she go, threatening to dye her purple if she didn't go attend to the fields.

A few hours later we arrived back at Sweet Apple Acre farms, a slight breeze blowing through the air, carrying the sweet smell of ripe apples to us as we walked down the lonely path towards the farm house. Applejack's mood had made an almost instant change when she made it back to the farm, she became more relaxed than I've seen her since that party, almost seeming to bounce down the path.

At least until, that is, a little yellow and red streak took her out in a flying tackle that was almost too fast for me to see.

"I missed you sooo much big sis!" Cried Apple Bloom who was hugging Applejack in a pile on the side of the path "I was so worried I would never see you again!"

"Mah..ribs." Applejack wheezed out

"Umm, I think you're crushin’ the life outta your sister." I cautioned

"Eeepp, whoops, sorry sis." She said as she released her sister, trying to hide that she had to wipe tears from her eyes.

"Ah promise to spend the day just with you." Applejack said with a big smile.

"But what about them apples? Nopony has bucked the trees in days!" Apple Bloom asked.

"I got it, don't worry ‘bout it" I said, helping them disentangle themselves from each other.

"But thats a whole lotta apples for just one pony, umm, person." Said Applejack.

"Are you sayin' my mouth is makin' promises I can't keep?" I asked teasingly.

"But you're still only one person, and one human plus hundreds o' apple trees just doesn't add up to..." She responded.

"Don't muddle the issue with your fancy ass mathematics. Don't worry ‘bout it, if I need help I'll just go get Rainbow Dash or someone to come down and help me out. Ain't like I'm gonna half kill myself when I know I got friends to help me out." Applejack was just staring at me as if I had just turned into a pony.

"What?" I ask, checking myself to make sure something like that really hadn't happened.

"Umm, nothin’, just déjà vu." She responded.

"Uh huh, sure, anyways, go enjoy your day with your sister." I said, pushing her towards her little sister, who looked almost back to tears, tears of joy this time.

"Go go" I added, with little shooing motions with my hands.

"Ah'll get you for this!" Applejack yelled over her shoulder as her little sister dragged her towards town.

With a smile still on my face I turned back to the fields in front of me, and only then did I realize that there were a lot of hills in the background covered with red-spotted trees.

"Looks like I am gonna need that help"

That evening we were as tired as could be. Finding Rainbow Dash was surprising easy, I just had to find the one cloud that was snoring. After quickly explaining why I needed her and the others help I soon had the 5 other ponies out in the orchard helping me pick the apples. It was funny to see each pony's style of picking apples, they were as varied as the ponies themselves. Rainbow Dash zoomed through the trees at break neck pace, the wind of her passing whipping apple from the branches to land in a heap in the barrels, Twilight expertly picked every apple off a tree with a single spell, and then proceed to catalog each apple. Rarity carefully picked each apple one by one before gently placing them in the barrel, and Fluttershy had brought a lot of her woodland friends to help her pick the apples. Now Pinkie, I don't know how she did it but she seemed to bounce on the sides of the trees, completely ignoring gravity. All the while I grabbed the barrels and dragged them towards the house as quickly as I could, but even going full pace I still couldn't keep pace with the 5 ponies working together to fill the barrels.

Getting a sudden idea while at the farmhouse, I rushed back to where the ponies were working.

"Rainbow Dash!" I yelled as the rainbow streak rushed past me.

She skidded to a sudden stop, looking confused. "Yeah?"

"Feel up to a race?" I asked mischievously.

"Heck yeah, but who's going to race me?" She asked looking at the other ponies, who were watching us expectantly.

"Well, me of course!" I said, feeling a little hurt that she didn't even consider me an opponent.

"What?! No way that your two legs can keep up with my four, plus my wings!" she said proudly.

"Is that fear of losing I hear?" I said, barely keeping my laughter contained.

"What? No, you're so on now!" She said, taking a runners stance in front of one group of barrels.

"Twilight, you mind?" I asked as I took my own stance in front of another group.

"I would be delighted." She said, stepping between us.

"Get ready, get set, GO!" She yelled as she threw up a green apple.

Rainbow Dash took off gaining an early lead, knowing that there would be plenty of time to catch up I paced myself, pulling on the rope I looped on the barrels strongly but evenly, keeping right on her tail. By the time we had a dozen barrels moved back she had started slowing down, visibly winded, while I continued at the same pace, controlling my breathing and focusing on that next step. I had barely noticed when I passed her on the twentieth or so barrel, nor when I started on the thirtieth barrel three ahead of her. All too soon the giant group of barrels disappeared despite the other ponies doing their best to keep the groups large.

Coming back from my last lap I saw that I had no more barrels in my group.

"No more apples." Said Twilight apologetically.

Looking over at Rainbow Dash's group I saw she had 7 more barrels, and looking over to the pony, she was currently pulling away from us. Knowing she would be devastated from losing by so much I held my finger up to my mouth and moved four of her barrels over to where my group was, and started pulling "my" next one.

As I passed Rainbow Dash, who was coming the opposite way, I yelled "Come on Dashie, almost there!"

She looked up and, after seeing how few she had left and how close she was, put on an extra spurt of speed. Seeing that I picked up my pace also. We had just dropped off both of our second to last barrels when she took off at a blinding speed towards her last one, leaving me coughing up dust. I sprinted back as fast as I could and grabbed my barrel, but she was already a third of the way back, luckily for me, where she has speed, I have strength. I slowly caught back up to her, putting all my strength into the last 50 yards, keeping neck and neck with the pony right next to me, neither of us backing down as we came sprinting across the finish line, instantly collapsing in a heap on the ground, panting for breath.

"I....Won!" She gasped out.

"No.... I.....Did!" I wheezed out.

"An ah say ah won!" Said Applejack leaning over the two of us, a big grin on her face.

"No way!" Complained Rainbow Dash loudly, before being shushed by Applejack, pointing to her back, where a sleeping Apple Bloom was draped across her back.

"Aww" Came from behind as the rest of the ponies walked up behind me and saw the young filly snoring.

"Ah got y'all somethin’ to drink, they're in the house." Said Applejack, letting Apple Bloom be levitated off her back by both Twilight and Rarity.

As the rest of the ponies walked in front of us towards the house, Applejack nudged me with her flank, winking at me.

"Ah saw what ya did there, you sly dog." She said with a grin.

"Hmmm, what, I did nothing of the sort."

"Well thanks, Rainbow Dash would not have taken this lose well." she said, quieter. "But ah've never seen anypony even keep up with her, much less surpass her."

"Well in a straight out race she would have me, I'm no good for speed, but strength-wise, I think I can take anybody."

"We'll have to settle that then." She said with a grin. "You any good at rasslin?"

"I couldn't wrestle ya, you’re a girl, I can't hit girls!" I said, surprised at her directness.

"Even in self defense?" She said teasingly.

"Yeah, unless ya were about to kill me or someone else." I said as I tripped over a tree root hidden by the quickly deepening evening.

"Well that's borin’..." There was an awkward pause.

"So, umm, how much do you remember of that party?" I asked tentatively.

"Not much, just you over-reactin’ and not much after that. Why, did something happen?" She asked warily.

"Well yeah, I don't like hiding things from you." Pause, sigh, "During the party you got really drunk, like really drunk." I paused to look over at her, seeing her blush slightly. "Well when you were drunk, well..." sigh, "You kissed me and said you loved me."

"Ah what?" She said, looking shocked.

"Yeah, and after that you got so embarrassed by Pinkie that you ran out, and unfortunately took the road into the woods by accident."

"So, uhmmm." She stopped biting her lower lip, looking incredibly embarrassed. "Was it that bad?"

"No, quite nice, but it was my reaction that was bad." I said sorrowfully.

"Why, what did you do?" She asked, trying to piece it together.

"Well you remember Sarah?" A nod. "Well I'm conflicted, I still love her but I know for a fact, Princess Luna told me, that I will never be able to get home." A tear rolled down my cheek.

"Well does she know that you're still alive?" Applejack asked, stopping, letting the other ponies get even further ahead, before they eventually disappeared into the house.

"No, there is no way she could."

"Well what would she want?" She asked, getting even quieter.

"She would want me to be happy." I said, my knees sagging, leaving me sitting on an old stump.

"Well, what would make you happy?" She asked, her looking at me questioningly, the moon rising behind me, casting her face in shadows.

"I don't know." I sobbed. "Never have I had to make a choice like this, I don't know what's right and I don't know what’s wrong. It's like I'm drowning and don't know which way is up."

I was surprised when her lips brushed mine, slowly drawing me into a warm embrace that chased the shadows from my heart. All too soon she stopped, looking at my shocked face in fear.

"Ah'm sorry!" She sobbed as she turned away.

I grabbed her quickly, sweeping her up and kissing her back, for the first time since I've arrived here, I felt truly happy,as if a giant weight had been lifted off my heart. We stopped, both of us breathing as hard as if we had just ran a marathon. Both of us blushing as if we had something to be ashamed of, but the moon was our only witness....

"Wow."

Ch 9. Attracted to Crashes

We entered the room together, the other ponies sitting around her dining room table talking cordially to each other, trying very hard to not stare at the two latecomers. We sat at the table next to each other, Applejack still blushing, and tried not to bring unwarranted attention to ourselves.

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash didn't have a subtle bone in her body.

"What took you two sooo long, what did ya do, stop and make out!" She asked jokingly.

Seeing the look of horror on their friends faces, they all gasped.

"So are you two, ummm, together now?" Asked Twilight warily.

With a deep blush on her face, Applejack mumbled something into her mug.

"Umm, dear, we didn't hear you." Said Rarity, who was leaning in to hear better.

Another mumble from Applejack, she was desperately trying to hide herself in her mug at this point.

"So Cass," Said Twilight as she looked at me. "are you two dating now?"

"Well, ummm..."

"YES!!" Yelled Applejack, who looked ready to die from embarrassment. "If that's okay with you." She added quickly.

"Course!" I said, wrapping my arm around her, pulling her in close.

"YAY!" Yelled Pinkie Pie as she popped up behind us, nearly giving me a heart attack. "I've never had a party for a couple getting together!" She said excitedly as she bounced around the room.

Twilight, seeing the overwhelmed look on our faces, used her magic to catch Pinkie Pie mid jump, who didn't seem to notice and continued listing items she needed for the party.

"Well girls, its getting late, we should be getting home" She said cheerfully as she levitated a still talking Pinkie through the open door.

"Should we leave these two love-birds all alone?" Teased Rainbow Dash, nudging me in the ribs with a wink.

"Rainbow! That's incredibly uncouth of you to say! And even then it none of your business!" Said Rarity, who had a big smile on her face, you could tell she was thinking the same thing but had more class than to say it out loud.

That just left Fluttershy, who quietly sneaked through the door with her friends, she paused just outside the doorway and said, "Congratulations!" before she swung the door shut, leaving me and Applejack alone in the kitchen.

"No" Said Applejack, punching me lightly in the ribs.

"What?"

"You ain't gettin into my bed that easily!" She said, her blush deepening.

"That wasn't my goal at all, and you should know that." I said, slightly hurt that all my new friends thought I would move onto the later stages of our relationship so quickly.

"I know." She said as she leaned into me, finally relaxing.

Putting my arm around her we sat there for a long time, just enjoying each others company before she finally slipped into sleep. Being as gentle as I could I picked her up and carried her up to her room, tucking her into bed. Before I left the room I planted a kiss on her forehead and left towards my room. Passing by Apple Bloom’s room I couldn’t help but smile as the small pony within talked in her sleep, something about finally getting her cutie mark.

Entering my room I sat on the bed, slipped my boots and DACU top off before finally going to sleep myself.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Screamed Sarah's face, inches from mine.

I immediately flinched backwards, slipping on the blood all over the floor, landing in a pile of burnt corpses, their shriveled hands grabbing me, pulling me down into the pile. I jumped up and ran from them, bursting through a door into a blindingly bright street. Soldiers flanking me on either side. Sgt Canner, ran up to me and shook me.

"Get a Grip on yourself, focus on the mission" He whispered to me, trying to prevent the other soldiers from hearing.

I merely nodded and he went back to his position. We walked down the street into a town, tall building on either side not providing any shadows. Up ahead, a [url= suddenly rolled out of an alley and started shooting towards us, mowing the soldiers down in a pink haze. I ran to a nearby doorway and reached for my grenades as the Sgt from before ran towards me, nearly reaching the safety of my cover before he was blown in half, covering me head to toe with blood. In a rage I threw the grenades towards the BTR, but the grenades had little effect on the heavily armored vehicle. Behind me the doorway opened and a dozen hands pulled me in. Looking up I saw that it was a classroom and the hands belonged to the students there.

The door opposite exploded inwards, troops piling in, firing into the group of children, penning me under their bodies. After the massacre Sarah, dressed as one of the soldiers walked up to me.

"Why?" She asked as she poured gas on me as I struggled.

"Why? Why did you betray me with that whore? Why did you leave me?" She asked again, crying now as she opened a zippo, tossing it at my face.

"WHY!" She yelled over the roar of the flames as they enveloped me.

The stench of burning flesh, the pain of being burned, the hot followed by the cold as my body died.

"NOOO!!" I screamed with the last of my energy.

I woke with a start, nearly pushing the orange mare who was holding me out of my bed. I was shivering despite the fact that it was warm in the room. The stench of burnt flesh still filled my nose as tears streamed out of my clenched eyes.

"Its okay." Applejack whispered gently in my ear as she stroked my head.

"You gonna be okay?" Asked Apple Bloom from the doorway, still looking half-asleep.

"Yeah, just a bad dream." Said Applejack. "Now go back to sleep."

Apple Bloom stood for a moment longer before getting a look of inspiration and running off, coming back with a small stuffed animal in the shape of a pony, it was obvious that the toy had been well loved, the once brightly colored fur faded and worn. Apple Bloom trotted up to me and dropped the toy in my lap.

"This is Mr. Apple." She said sadly. "He always helped me when I was little, maybe he can help you."

I was touched, a young pony giving up what was obviously one of her favorite toys to a near total stranger. Fighting back tears I finally responded. "Thanks, I'll take good care of him."

"You'd better!" She said quickly as she walked out of the room.

"I remember him." said Applejack, looking at the stuffed animal dwarfed in my hands. "Ah gave him to Apple Bloom years ago when she was having some bad nightmares. He used to be mine, one of the last things my parents gave me."

Seeing she needed comforting I pulled her close, reversing our earlier positions. I held her close as she held me close, the small toy between us as we drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

I woke in a happy daze, a warm body cuddling next to mine. I just laid there for a long while, just enjoying the company. Applejack, who was still hugging Mr. Apple, was snoring in her familiar way that just made not smiling impossible. There was a tapping at the door outside, but whoever it was could wait, nothing on this world could be important enough to wake Applejack. The tapping on the door continued for a while before stopping, thinking whoever it was had gone away I lay idly stroking her mane, enjoying the silky smoothness coupled with the slight smell of apple and cinnamon that she almost always seemed to have.

CRASH

I jumped out of bed, grabbing the bedside lamp and throwing it full force at the intruder who came crashing through the window, hitting the blue pegasus square in the face, knocking it into the wall, shattering the lamp. That's about the point that I recognized it as Rainbow Dash, who had a dazed look on her face and was bleeding slightly from her nose and various other scratches.

"Oh shit!" I yelled as I ran to her.

"Help!" Came Applejack’s muffled cry from underneath the mattress I had also apparently flipped.

Rushing back to the bed I hastily unburied Applejack and returned to Rainbow Dash who was still dazed.

"What in tarnation happened?" She said, seeing the bleeding pegasus.

"I over-reacted, again." I said meekly.

"I'd say!" Said Rainbow Dash, slurring her words slightly.

"What were you doing outside my window anyways?" I said as I picked up the surprising light pony.

"Ummmm, I was just checking to see if your house was burglar proof!" Said the bleeding pony with a smile.

"Of all the underhanded sneaky things you've done!" Exclaimed Applejack, "You were peakin’!"

"And I saw you two sleeping together." She responded, earning vivid blushes from both of us.

"Nothing happened!" I said hastily. "Heck ask Apple Bloom."

"Wait, I don't care that you two are going at it but don't you think Apple Bloo...Woah!" The rest of her sentence was cut short by me suddenly going from carrying her gently over my shoulder to carrying her upside-down in front of me.

"Go ahead and continue, just remember, I'm the only one between you and Applejack, and by extension, Big Mac." I said with a sadistic smile.

"Alright alright, I was joking anyways." Said the blue pony who had crossed her arms...forelegs, in front of herself.

Flipping Rainbow Dash back upright I sat her in one of the kitchen chairs, and grabbed a towel to start cleaning up her face to see what damage I had done. I was about half-way done when Apple Bloom came down the stairs, stopping and staring in shock at the mayhem before her.

"Ah don't wanna know." She said as she grabbed some food and trotted out the door.

"Hold on!" Yelled Applejack as she ran out the door to catch up with her so she could walk her to school, leaving me to deal with Rainbow Dash.

"So you got any good excuses for yourself now?” I asked.

"I'm sorry but I was just curious, I wanted to see if you two could be trusted alone, that and I had a bet with Rarity." She answered meekly under my stern stare.

"Uh huh, ever heard the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’?"

"Yeah." She said looking away, hoof on the back of her head. "And how did you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked as I felt up her nose, feeling for anything broken.

"React so quickly, I hadn't even hit the floor before you nailed me with that lamp."

"Practice, and lots of it." I said quietly, pausing for a moment.

"Can you teach me how to do that? Maybe I could use it in a trick!" She said excitedly.

"Sure, but it would involve me tossing a lot of lamps at your face and I really don't have the money to be buyin’ all the lamps in Ponyville."

"Aw shucks." She said, seemingly deflating.

"Anyways, seems to me like I didn't break your nose or anything, your just bleeding everywhere. I got the majority of it up but you might want to wash your face to get the rest of it."

"Thanks." She said as she trotted over to the sink, splashing water on her face.

"So what were you two doing sleeping together anyways?" She asked playfully.

"Not what you wha..Whump!" I was cut off as I was tackled from behind.

"Why were you and my sister sleepin’ together now?!" Demanded a deep southern voice coming from the large red horse who was standing on my back.

Ch 10. Unexpected sources

“Now hold on now.” I protested from underneath his hoofs, “We didn’t do a damned thing!”

“Why should I believe you?” he asked, leaning down near my ear.

“Because your sister does!” Yelled Rainbow Dash who was hovering above the kitchen table. “And besides, do you not trust your sister to find her own love?!”

“Yes, No, I don’t know!” he yelled, starting to tear up, but also unfortunately putting more weight on his front hoofs.

“Air!” I gasped from underneath him, being ignored by the two arguing ponies.

“I think you’re more afraid of seeing your sister leave than you care about her!” Yelled Rainbow Dash, growing even redder.

“No!” he yelled, “My family is everything to me!”

“Then why do you hate Cass so much!”

“I don’t know!” he yelled, his tears falling on the back of my head.

“Air!” I gasped again, clawing at the floor as I felt something in my chest pop.

“Then why are you pushing him away, why are you making it harder for your sister to find her first love, why do you not accept what even Apple Bloom has seen? You're the only one here preventing your sister from becoming happy! You should be happy, here you are getting a new member of the family and you're shunning him, I’ve never seen you like this, you have always been so kind. This. Is. Not. YOU!” Rainbow Dash yelled, gradually getting louder with each word until by the end the rafters were shaking and Big Mac had started backing away.

“But, I, ugh” He stammered, lost for words.

“Why can’t you just accept him?” She yelled again, getting right in his face.

Seeing my opportunity, I reached up and grabbed one of her rear hoofs, pulling her downwards sharply. Rainbow Dash finally looking down and seeing the pained look on my now purple face shoved Big Mac off my back.

I gasped up air as the weight was remove from my back, the air never smelled quite so good.

“You okay?” asked Rainbow Dash as she helped me into a chair.

“Yeah, hey you’re bleeding again.” I said pointing at her nose.

“Aww horse apples!” she said as she went to the sink looking for a towel.

Turning to Big Mac, “You do not have to worry about me hurting your sister, I’ll never do that again, ever” I wheezed out, I think he had cracked a few of my ribs.

“You’ve already proven that wrong!” he retorted.

“Okay, I’ll give you that, I handled that way wrong.”

“Then what are you tryin with mah sis?”

“I’m just enjoying her comforts,” Seeing the look on his face, I added. “Not. Like. That! When I’ve had my flashbacks she has always been there to help me through them, without her I would probably be in some corner completely incoherent, oblivious to your world. So what I’m trying to say is I owe my life to Applejack!” I was yelling at this point.

“The question is, what are you trying to get from your sister? What do you have to gain from keeping her sheltered? Why do youfight so hard to keep her locked up?” I asked him, poking him in the chest with my finger.

He sobbed quietly, something I didn’t expect from him. “I can’t lose anyone else, I’ve lost my parents, I’ve lost my friends, if I lost her I don’t know what I would do.”

Seeing that I was finally getting through to him, I added quietly, “The thing about Applejack is that I could never separate her from her family, meaning no matter how hard I tried I would never be able to separate her from you.”

“But wha..”

“Oh hush you.” I said, shoving his shoulder playfully, “When has she ever abandoned you? Never? Yeah i thought so, so why would she start now?”

“I don’t know” he sobbed, head hanging low in shame.

“Come on, let’s get Rainbow Dash home, or to the hospital” Rainbow Dash made a face that clearly read “Yuk” about the hospital.

“I’m fine,” she said as she wobbled on her feet a little, having to catch the counter to keep her balance.

“We’re walking you back.” We said almost in unison.

“But!” she protested weakly

“No buts” I said sternly as I picked her up.

Big Mac opened the door for me and we stepped out into the blinding sunlight of the peaceful orchard.

Standing about 3 stories below Rainbow Dash’s flying castle we saw how futile it was to try to get her home now. The light blue mare was in no shape to be flying anymore today, and no way in hell was I going to attempt to throw her up there.

“Soooo, ummm, do ladders fall through clouds?” I asked hopefully.

“Eeyup”

“Well crap.”

“I got this.” Said Rainbow Dash as she attempted to take off, only to be held down by my boot on her tail.

“We could drop her off at Twilight’s place” suggested Big Mac.

“Yeah, Isn’t it that tree lookin place?” I asked, looking down a nearby street, spotting it.

“Eeyup”

“Alright.” I said as I grabbed with weak pony and carried her down the street towards Twilight’s tree house.

“I can fly!” she protested.

“Sure. I’ll let you fly to your house if you can get out of my arms” I stopped for a moment as she struggled futilely against my iron grip.

“Done yet?” I asked after a few minutes.

“No!” she panted, her struggles growing weaker.

“Okay” I said as I continued walking, ignoring all the looks from ponies that we passed.

“Gonna be interesting to explain this on market day.” Comment Big Mac dryly.

“Eeyup” Was my response as we reached Twilight’s door.

Reaching up I knocked loudly on the door. Hearing a muffled crash within I walked cautiously towards the ground floor window, peeking in I saw a little purple dragon un-burying himself from a pile of books at the base of a ladder. A few moment later the front door swung open revealing the rather annoyed looking dragon.

“Yeah, how can I help you?” He asked, sounding rather annoyed.

“Is Twilight here?” I asked.

He paused for a moment, looking at Rainbow Dash’s rump over my shoulder, who was still slightly struggling.

“Umm, yeah, let me get her.” he said as he entered the house, leaving the door open for us to enter.

The interior had a nice high roof and had bookshelves lining the walls. At a desk in a corner sat an owl who was currently sleeping amidst what looked like an explosive study session. Books were spread out all around the room and scrolls were waiting to be rolled. Empty ink wells rolled around the floor in numbers too numerous to even begin counting.

“What happened here?” I asked Spike as he went up the stairs towards the rear of the house.

“You know that pen you gave her the other day?” He asked pausing at the top of the stairs.

“Umm, yeah, is she testing it out or something?”

“No” she said as she appeared behind Spike. “I’ve been trying to remake it, but some of the things that it is made of don’t exist here, so I’ve had to find replacement that exist here for it.”

Trotting down the stairs a line of pens followed her, floating through the air, each glowing slightly purple. She levitated them towards me with a hopeful smile.

“Umm, before I test these new pens, can you help Rainbow Dash first” Pointing at the still struggling blue mare.

“Oh!” She said, pens dropping to the floor as she noticed her friend, “What happened?”

“She was peekin through the window at me and Applejack when she leaned too far and crashed through.”

“She hurt herself that much from falling through a window?” She asked as she used magic to take her friend off my shoulder and put her down in a comfy looking chair.

“Umm, that and I hit her in the face with a lamp...”

“Why?” She asked, looking shocked.

“Yeah, I seem to have a tendency of reacting the wrong way when all of you ponies keep on surprisin the piss out of me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I come to visit” She said dryly.

“Hey, I try not to but you crazy ponies seem to try to do it!” I said quickly.

“They’re just actin normal.” Said Big Mac

“Okay, but let’s get back to the matter on hand. Twilight, can you help Rainbow Dash?” I said gesturing towards Rainbow Dash.

“Oh!” Said Twilight again, turning back to her friend, her horn glowing briefly before she touched it to her friends forehead.

Almost instantly Rainbow Dash looked more alert and the color rushed back to her fur. Don’t really know how that works out, but whatever she did Rainbow Dash was almost instantly back to her old self.

“Just a bit of blood loss and a slight concussion” she said smiling as she turned back to me, “Good thing I studied all those medical spells when I was younger, though to play it safe you probably shouldn’t go to sleep for the next 24 hours.”

The look of horror on Rainbow Dash’s face made it very hard not to laugh.

“Hey, since it’s my fault I’ll stay up with ya and keep ya company.” I said hoping to break her shock.

“You’d better, or I’ll make it rain on you for weeks!” she threatened, shaking her hoof at me.

“What was she peeking in on anyways?” Interjected Twilight.

“Oh Cass and Applejack were sleeping together! It was kinda cute how they cuddled together!” Rainbow Dash squealed, flying overhead, just out of my reach.

“Oh, I didn’t know you and Applejack had moved quite so quickly in your relationship! Congratulations.” She said giving me an embarrassed look.

“God freakin dammit! NOT. LIKE. THAT! Geez, nothing happened at all, I just had another nightmare and she came in to comfort me. I also woke up Apple Bloom and she gave me her stuffed animal, hoping that he’ll help me too.”

“She gave you Mr. Apples?” Asked Big Mac in surprise.

“Umm, yeah, I think that what he’s named. Why?” I asked

“Ah thought Applejack would give her hat away before Apple Bloom gave away Mr. Apples.” He said slowly.

“He means that much to her?”

“Eeyup, looks like you won’t have to worry about getting her approval.” He said dryly.

“Here” said Twilight as she re-entered the room, I hadn’t even seen her leave. “This book might be able to help you out”

The title of the book, written out in fancy pink letter, was “How to Please Your Marefriend”

“You found that awfully fast” Said Rainbow Dash, who had read the title from over my shoulder.

Twilight, instantly blushing, stammered, “Well, umm, theres an adult section, yeah, and it’s really, really small so I didn’t have to look hard for it.” She finished it off with a cheesy grin.

“Were you even listening to me before you ran off and found this?” I asked, handing it back to her.

“You said something?” She asked innocently.

“Ugh!” I said as I slammed my face into my hand. “Let me repeat myself then, there is nothing like that happening between me and Applejack. Why do you ponies automatically jump right to that conclusion?”

Oh," she said, almost sounding disappointed, "Well I guess I'll put this back,” she said as she took the book from my hands and walked back upstairs with it.

“Umm, Twi, isn’t it only your room upstairs?” asked Rainbow Dash who finally landed on the floor again.

She halted so suddenly that she almost face planted on the stairs, stammering as she said, “Well, umm, it’s umm,” looking at the book desperately, “Oh it’s damaged, I need to repair it!” she said before she zipped upstairs faster than I’ve seen her run in the past.

“Uh huh” said Rainbow Dash, unconvinced, “How much you wanna bet we opened up a whole new path for her to ‘Study’.”

“I don’t think we opened anything up, I didn’t see where she got that book from.” I commented back.

“What are ya’ll goin on about, and what book was that?” asked a clueless looking Big Mac from behind us.

“Oh, just something you and Cheerilee would enjoy using together!” Joked Rainbow Dash.

We both laughed as he blushed deeply, still looking confused.

Ch 11. Guns and Pitchforks

While we were waiting for Twilight to regain her composure and come back downstairs I collected up the pens she had dropped, easily identifying mine. The rest, while good reproductions, were crudely made, most of them not even being made of a thick metal like mine is. Sorting through them I tried clicking them, most of them not even doing that. Finally, finding a piece of blank parchment I tried to write with them. All but one failed in someway or another, hell one of them somehow managed to burst into flames.

Rainbow Dash, who had taken it upon herself to attempt to explain to Big Mac what the joke was, had ignored my experimentations with the pens, probably finding it too boring.

“So what do you think?” Asked Twilight as she came down the stairs, still blushing.

“That one exploded, you owe me an eyebrow now.” I said pointing at the guilty pen. “And that’s the only one that works.” I said pointing at the shiny wooden pen sitting separate from all the others.

“Oh.” She said, looking disappointed.

“You should see the rest of my gear, a lot of it is much more advanced than just a simple pen. Heck, I don’t think you would even know what half of it would even do.”

“And you would be right.” she said, “Princess Luna asked me to look at everything you brought back and I couldn’t tell head from tails on most of it.”

“Wait, is that where my gear went, I’ve been wondering where it all went!” I said, looking around hoping to catch a glimpse of the familiar digital tans and organic browns that made up the DACU camo.

“Yeah, I got it all down stairs, follow me.” She said leading me to a door I hadn’t seen before.

At the bottom of the stairs a rather large room sat filled with various kinds of important looking machinery. In the middle of the room under a spotlight sat all of my gear, carefully laid out, with little tags, that reminded me of the toes tags they would use in a morgue.

“It’s good to see most of it survived the transition into this world.” I said as I picked up my trusty rifle, ensuring that it was clear.

“Yeah, thats one of the things I couldn’t quite figure out.” She said sheepishly as I used a trained hand to quickly disassemble it.

“I figured that, this is called a M-4, it’s a type of rifle, specifically a carbine. It’s a tool of death where I’m from.” I said quietly, grabbing a magazine from my assault vest I loaded it and asked, “Is there anything in this room you wouldn’t mind getting destroyed?”

She thought for a moment before levitating a couple of sacks of potatoes out from underneath the stairs.

“That’ll do, just set them in the corner.” I said as I took aim through the red dot sight. Stopping just before I fired, I grabbed my helmet and handed it to her.

“Put this on, and try to have the earmuffs on your ears as tightly as you can.” She merely nodded and pressed them into the side of her head.

Aiming again, I slowly exhaled, pausing at the natural low of my breath, squeezing the trigger.

“BLAM BLAM BLAM!”

The sack of potatoes exploded in a mist as I released a burst, the rounds hitting low from where I was aiming, but that was to be expected.

“What was that!?” Yelled Rainbow Dash as she zipped down the stairs, closely followed by Big Mac and Spike.

“Just demonstrating to Twilight that some of these, tools, should not be copied by your peaceful people who have no need for such dangerous things.” I said as I unloaded the rifle and ensured it was clear.

“So what do you want me to do with your...carbine?” She asked fearfully, looking at the destroyed potatoes.

“Do you have a sturdy safe?” I asked, when she nodded, I continued, “I want you to lock these up in one,” I said handing my rifle back to her and gesturing towards my pistol, "and lock these up in a separate safe that has a different key or combination." Handing her the magazines for both.

Looking back at the table I notice my pocket knife sitting on top on my hat. Instantly I grab it and open it with practiced ease, seeing it was no worse for wear.

“Is that a tool or weapon?” Asked Twilight warily.

“Neither, my dad gave me that knife just before I left for basic, that was also the only time I’ve heard him talk since Washington. All he told me was to make sure I came home safe.” I barely noticed the tear rolling down my face, thinking about how he would take my ‘death’.

Twilight, seeing me starting to slip into depression, pointed at a random object at the table and asked, “And what is this?”

Looking down I see her pointing at my radio. “That’s a radio, it allows communications between two or more distant points.”

“Oh like a megaphone, just smaller.” She said with a smile.

“Not quite, in this top part there is a speaker that generates the sound that the other radio hears. So in-between the two you would not be able to tell people where talking unless if you heard the noise from one of the radios itself.”

“Oh that would make it easier to talk to all my friends if they had one, just talk into the radio and they would all hear!” She said excitedly.

“Yeah but how much do you know about electricity and circuits?” I asked.

“Do you mean lightning bolts? You know, when rain clouds store up energy and release it suddenly?” Asked Rainbow Dash who was hovering behind me.

“Yes, exactly, just with much less power and more... control.” Surprised to see that the seemingly dim mare was actually knowledgeable about weather.

“Umm, as far as I know we don’t really harness the power of lightning for anything other helping with the production of rainbows.” Rainbow Dash added.

“And you're right.” Said Twilight, who also seemed surprised at her friends knowledge.

There was a crash upstairs, startling me.

“I got this.” Said Spike as he climbed the stairs, only to be nearly run over by Applejack running down the stairs.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on?” She half yelled at me.

“Umm, what?” I asked, clueless on what I had done now.

“The town is in an uproar looking for you because you bewitched mah brother and beat the tar out of Rainbow Dash and fillynapped her in plain daylight! The bewitched part ah’m half believin’ ‘cause they said you two were getting along with each other!”

“Oh, thats nothing.” I said with a smile, “We just had some ‘gentle’ nudging from a certain hostage, who by the way, is feeling much better now that Twilight used her magic on her. So, do I need to go turn myself into the lynch mob before or after they break out the pitchforks and torches.” I said with a chuckle.

“This ain’t no laughin’ matter!” She yelled loudly, gesturing towards the stairs, “They’re considerin’ kickin’ you outta town, fer GOOD!”

Sombering up, I add, “Well once they see that Rainbow Dash and Big Mac are okay surely they’ll see that they are overreactin’ and decide not to hang me?”

“You didn’t see how they reacted to Zecora did ya?” asked Rainbow Dash dryly.

“Maybe we should move that visit to Princess Luna up, stay out of town until they start actin’ sensibly again. Rainbow Dash, you mind finding the other ponies who want to come with us and bring them here please, the faster the better.” With a grin the blue pegasus snapped a sharp salute at me before streaking off in a rainbow blur.

“Can you, ugh, shoot what’s that word I’m lookin’ for....?” I said motioning at Twilight.

“Teleport?” She said helpfully.

“Yeah, can you do mass teleportations?” I asked.

“Ummm, yeah, let me get the scrolls for that.” She said as she also trotted upstairs.

Turning to the Apple siblings, “Can you two go make sure we have everything we need for the trip, all the luggage and extras, possibly some food and money?”

“Eeyup” said Big Mac.

They stood there for a moment or two, waiting on something, until Applejack nudged him in the ribs and gestured towards the stairs. Big Mac blushed as he left us alone in Twilight’s basement.

“You need me for something?” I asked.

“Ah don’ wanna know what you did to suddenly get along with him, but it’s good that ya did.” She said as she leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.

With that she left me standing, basking in the happy warmth that had flooded my heart.

Ch 12. The New Apple

A few hours after I had issued my orders the rest of the ponies were gathered downstairs in Twilight’s basement, crowded around the various pieces of luggage they had packed planning on an extended stay. Rarity, of course, had the largest of the piles.

“Now did you forget the kitchen sink?” I asked playfully.

“Now why should I bring such a useless thing?” She asked incredulously, “I just packed the essentials, and since you still insist on wearing such dreadful clothes, I also packed for you!” She said as a small suitcase from the top of the stack floated over to me, barely making a dent in the mountain of stuff.

“Hey these may be ugly, but they’re functional!” I protested, ignoring the other ponies laugh as I struck a muscle man pose.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a doctor!” She said sweetly.

“I’m not a doctor, what made you think that?” I asked, confused.

“Well your outfit is inducing vomiting in ponies who have even the slightest fashion sense!” She said dryly.

“Oh haha,” I retorted as the others giggled. “You ready yet Twilight?”

She looked up briefly from the stack of scrolls she was sorting through, “Yeah, I would’ve been faster if somepony had not decided to crash in.” she said glaring at Rainbow Dash.

“I said I was sorry, how was I to know you were right behind the door as I flew through it!” She huffed.

“It’s called knockin’ sugarcube.” Said Applejack sarcastically.

“But that’s no fun!” Said Pinkie Pie as she popped out from between my legs, scaring me right out of the chair I was in.

Fluttershy helped me back into the chair and, while she had stopped treating me like an injured baby animal long ago, she still acted weird around me.

Spike walked down the stairs holding a scroll with a fancy red and white ribbon tied around it.

“Celestia has responded.” He said to me as he tossed the scroll to me.

Popping the wax seal quickly, but carefully, I unrolled the heavy paper of the scroll, reading the fancy hoofwriting as fast as I could.

Dear, Sergeant Castle

I would be delighted to have you and your friends visit the castle earlier than expected, although my sister forgot to mention that you were visiting.

The guards have already been alerted to your imminent arrival, and your quarters are ready for you.

Anyways, I’m glad that I will get the opportunity to finally meet you.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

P.S. We need to talk about your... current situation.

“Well Celestia knows we’re comin’ and is ready for us whenever we get there.” I said, re-reading the final line over again to ensure I read it right.

“You alright hun?” asked Applejack, “You look like ya have seen a ghost.”

“Umm, yeah. How’s the crowd out there?” I asked Spike.

“There are still crazy ponies out there looking for you.” He said as he went back up to the ground floor to continue cleaning the mess Twilight had remade.

“Ah-Hah!” She exclaimed as she tugged one from the bottom of the stack, sending the rest tumbling. After looking at it for a moment longer, she put it back on the now destroyed stack, “Whoops, wrong one.” she said sheepishly.

All the other ponies exhaled in unison, I guess they had all held their breath.

“So is Big Mac going to be okay all alone at the farm?” I asked Applejack.

"Yeah, he shouldn't have much to do, seeing as cider season ain't for a couple more months or so. He should be okay on his own for a while. Besides, Apple Bloom will be there to help him. She may be small, but she is one heck of a worker!" She said proudly.

There was knocking at the front door, followed shortly by the door being broken down with a resounding crash.

Jumping over the table, I rolled underneath it hoping the tablecloth on it would be enough to hide me from the mob, I really didn’t want to hurt anypony. Hoping desperately that they wouldn’t even look into the basement for us.

“Hurry!” I said, motioning with my hand to Twilight.

Applejack took up a position at the bottom of the stairs, only to be tackled by a yellow and red streak.

“An’ you thought you could get away without sayin’ bye!” Said Apple Bloom as she stood on her older sister’s stomach.

“Well ah didn’t wanna worry ya, and shouldn’t ya’ll still be in school?” She asked as she rubbed the back of her head.

“Naw, school got released early for ‘safety’, don’t they know he’s harmless?” She said as Applejack pushed her gently off her stomach

“Was that Miss Cheerilee or the parents?” Asked Rainbow Dash, warily looking up the stairs as more hoof steps were heard from somepony coming down them.

“The parents!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle as she appeared at the bottom of the stairs, carrying a dazed looking Spike across her back..

Twilight, seeing Spike hurt, dropped the scroll she had been looking at and rushed to him, levitating him off of Sweetie Belle’s back and setting him down in a seated position on the table.

“Umm, sorry Miss Twilight.” Said Scootaloo from behind Sweetie Belle. “I kinda maybe ran over your front door, and Spike. I was trying to catch up to them cause’ they left without me!”

Twilight, of course, wasn’t paying any attention to her, she was concentrating while her horn glowed purple, Fluttershy right next to her examining him with more physical means.

“So why did you come here?” Asked Rarity as she hugged Sweetie Belle

“To see Cass off of course.” Answered Apple Bloom as if visiting the current most wanted ‘criminal’ in town was just an everyday thing.

Coming out from underneath my table, I smiled as Apple Bloom rushed to hug my leg.

“Come back soon!” She squealed, hugging harder than I thought possible. “Oh, an’ you forgot someone!”

She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out Mr. Apple. I smiled as I took him from her grasp, putting him in my cargo pocket on my left leg so his head peaked out.

“Now he can see what adventures I go on too!” I said, ruffling the younger fillies hair as she giggled. “And Rainbow Dash, you make that yuck face behind me one more time, I’ll make you give Mr. Apple a ride through town on his own cart.”

Judging by the giggling that was caused by that I had guessed right as to what she had been doing. Twilight, who had obviously completed her check up on Spike, was hugging the life out of the poor dragon.

“Umm, Twi...” Said Fluttershy in barely more than a whisper. “Twi...” A little louder, “TWILIGHT!” She finally yelled as Spike started changing colors due to lack of air.

“Oh!” She exclaimed sheepishly, “Whoops.”.

Setting Spike down, he looked embarrassed about being treated like that in front of Rarity. But that was quickly overcome with joy as she picked him up.

“Oh my Spikey Wikey got a booboo, you going to be okay?” She said with a babying voice as she kissed his forehead.

“I am now!” He sighed dreamily, looking like he had just melted in her hoofs.

“Is this it?” Asked Pinkie Pie from behind a giant stack of scrolls, her hoof, holding a scroll, was the only thing visible.

“How did you do that?” Asked Twilight after examining it for a moment.

“It was under T for Teleportation, of course!” She exclaimed happily. “Where else would it be you silly filly!”

Twilight just planted her face into her hoof, I’m guessing that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

“Can we come?” Asked Apple Bloom. “Maybe we can earn our cutie marks there!”

“I’m sure the Princesses wouldn’t mind. Twilight, how many people can you transport?” I asked as I turned to her.

“The whole town if I need to.” She said proudly. “This is a really powerful spell.”

“Not powerful dangerous right? I don’t wanna end up in Canterlot minus a leg or two.” I asked skeptically.

“Oh, don’t worry, there hasn't been a reported teleportation accident in years.” Twilight said confidently.

“So it’s up to your parents whether or not you're allowed to come.” I said to the three young fillies in front of me.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went up to their respective sisters, talking to them in private. Scootaloo just stood there looking awkward, shuffling a little of her tiny hooves.

“Aren’t you going to ask your parents, Scootaloo?” I ask gently, taking a knee so I was closer to her level.

She mumbled something, looking ashamed.

“I didn’t hear ya, my ears have been near too many explosions to be of much use.”

“The orphanage doesn’t care.” She muttered again, I could just barely make out the words.

There was a gasp of surprise from the ponies around the room.

“You're an orphan?” Asked Fluttershy.

“Yeah, I don’t like ponies knowing that.” She said as she started crying, her friends rushing back to her side.

“Hey, you know what I see when I look at you?” I asked gently, taking her hoof in my hand, she shook her head, tears coming faster now.

“I see one lucky filly with some of the craziest aunts and some of the best sisters!” I said motioning to the ponies around the room.

“And not all of us didn’t know!” Said Pinkie Pie calmly, despite the fact she was bouncing, again. “Did you think you could hide from the Hide and Seek champion whenever I came over to bring the Paarrrtay to the orphanage?”

“And we also knew.” Said Sweetie Belle, “We’ve known since forever, we just didn’t want to bring it up and rub your face in it.”

Scootaloo, tears now flowing freely down her face, hugged her friends as the older ponies and I found normal things suddenly very interesting to study.

Thinking for a moment, I was struck by inspiration. I turned to Applejack who was studying an old wooden stool.

“Hey you mind having an extra mouth to feed at the farm?” I whispered to her

“Ah, no, most of the time we got extra helpins’.” She said, looking confused.

Turning to Twilight, “What laws are there on adoptions here in Equestria?” Still trying to keep my voice down.

With a very confused look on her face, she recited from memory, “If a group of parents so want to adopt a child of the state they must have proof of a job and residence that have the capacity of taking care of a child.”

“Paperwork?” I whispered, motioning with my hands to keep quiet.

“None” Giving me another confused look, “Just a simple spell that almost any unicorn with the approval of the Princesses can cast. Why are you asking me all of this?”

Ignoring her, I turned to Applejack as realization dawned on her face, “Do you mind if I use another of your rooms in the house?”

“There ain’t anymore.” She whispered back sadly, the three young fillies still oblivious to the clandestine meeting happening right in front of them.

“Well I’ll move into the barn!” I whispered back, “An’ can I be a full on employee there?”

“Sure hun, you’re already like family so you don’t even need to ask!”

Turning back to Twilight, “Can you cast that spell, now?”

“Umm, yeah, why are we whispering? And why are you asking these weird questions?” She was actually starting to look angry about not knowing what was going on.

Turning now to the group of fillies who were comforting their orange friend.

“Hey Scoots, how would you like to live with the Apple family.” I ask loudly enough to be heard over her sobs.

“It would be great, but why are y-you asking?” She sobbed.

“Would you mind if I adopted you?” I asked, taking her hoof in my hand again.

The young filly froze, just like an old windows computer, the expression draining from her face. Her friends on either side of her were slack jawed as they realized what I had just said.

“Do you really mean it?” She asked fearfully after a couple of minutes.

“I would never joke about something like that.” I said gently.

She stood there for a couple more moments, the basement utterly silent as the other ponies stared at me in shock, all of their jaws, except Applejack’s, were hanging so low they nearly touched the floor.

What happened next shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did nonetheless. Scootaloo tackled me with such great force that it catapulted us across the floor in a mess of fur and body parts.

“OMIGOSHOMIGISHOMIGOSHOMIGISHOMIGOSHOMIGISHOMIGOSHOMIGISHOMIGOSHOMIGISH!!!” Squealed Scootaloo, sounding a lot like her role model.

“Can I take that as a yes?” I said as she choked me with a strong hug around the neck.

“Heck yeah!” She practically yelled in my ear.

“Hey Twilight, mind castin’ that spell now?” I asked her, struggling to breath.

“Umm, no, I can’t.” She said, looking close to tears.

The silence that descended on the room was deadly, all ponies glaring at Twilight.

“I.. I’m sorry, but there has to be two parents!” She stuttered.

“Then sign me up!” Said Applejack, stepping forward.

Apple Bloom launched herself at her sister, performing a near perfect flying hug.

Scootaloo, who was crying even more now, also ran to Applejack.

“THANK YOU!!” She yelled as she hugged Applejack around the neck, choking her now.

I hesitated, realizing what was implied by us adopting a kid together, but decided to mention it to Applejack later. No way in hell was I even going to think about ruining this event. I nodded to Twilight, who stepped towards me with her horn glowing, touching it briefly to my forehead. She then walked to Applejack, a bit of green swirling around in the purple of her magic, and touched her still glowing horn to Applejacks forehead, a bit of orange coming out of her forehead. She turned to Scootaloo and touched it to her forehead also, her orange coming out and joining our colors.

Twilight then raised her head, all three of the colors mixing, staying separate but becoming one entity, before a flash of light blinded me. I felt something briefly strike my forehead, more like if I had walked through a cobweb than like something actually touching me. When my sight returned I saw that Scootaloo and Applejack also looked blinded, but everyone else, while teary eyed, looked fine.

“So what exactly did that spell do?” I asked Twilight, rubbing my eyes.

“I took a part of each of your souls and mixed them, then gave all of you a part of each other, not enough to affect you in anyway, but enough to say that wherever any of you go you will be carrying a piece of each other.” She said, her smile almost bigger than her face.

“Sister!” Cried Apple Bloom as she hugged Scootaloo.

“Sister!” She cried back as she hugged back.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that Apple Bloom was actually an aunt more than a sister, but I'm sure they’re smart enough to figure it out on their own here soon enough, if they cared enough to even make the distinction.

“So should I start calling you wife?” I joke at Applejack, who suddenly blushed.

“I..Umm...I’m sorry I didn’...umm” She stuttered out.

“Hmmm, turns out you can get cuter,” I said leaning in towards her.

“OH, for Celestia's sake get a freakin room you two, I’m about to puke over here!” Exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

Remembering that we weren't alone in the room I stood up straight suddenly, now blushing myself.

“So, umm, Dad?” Said Scootaloo as she tugged on my pants leg, giving me puppy dog eyes that I’m sure she was going to get me with in the future, “Can I come to Canterlot?”

“Hmm,” Pausing, putting my finger on my lip as if I had to think hard about it. “Did you do your homework?”

“Yes!” She replied instantly.

“Do your chores?”

“Yes”

“Brush your teeth?”

She hesitated, looking crestfallen, “No.”

“Hmmm, then ask your mother.”

A brief pause. “Mom?” Giving Applejack the puppy dog eyes now.

“Ah don’ see why not, it ain’t fittin for only two of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to go.” She said after a moment or two of ‘deep thought’.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to buy you a toothbrush in Canterlot cause you're comin with us then!” I said picking her up and tossing her lightly in the air, fully intending to catch her, but she stayed about 3 inches above my hands, her wings beating fast.

“I’M GOING TO CANTERLOT WITH MY PARENTS!” She screamed.

“I’M ALSO FLYING!” She screamed again, hoof-pumping the air, and momentarily forgetting to flap, falling right into my outstretched hands, giggling.

“We are going to Have. Such. A. Huge. PAARRRTTTYYY!” Yelled Pinkie Pie in excitement, “I’ve never had an adoption and a first time flyer party at the same time!”

The front door upstairs crashed open again, multiple hoofsteps could be heard spreading out across the room.

“He has to be in here!” Yelled somemare I didn’t know.

“Umm, Twilight?” I asked, hoping that they wouldn’t notice the door.

“Working on it.” She replied, her horn glowing brightly, a breeze now swirling around her.

“You, check her basement!” Came a different voice from upstairs.

“Twi?” Squeaked Fluttershy, panicking.

“On it!” She yelled as I was blinded again, just before the world cut to black.

Ch 13. I Need A Drink

We landed in a heap, as if some giant had picked us all up, shook us and our luggage around, and then dropped us on the floor. Rarity, who had been standing the closest to her pile of luggage, was buried the worst. I could hear her muttering something about how uncouth it all was.

And of course the two guard ponies who we had just appeared in front of were in total shock.

“What in Celi...HALT!” Yelled one of them, a spear leveling itself at my face.

“GUARD!” Came a powerful voice from behind our pony pile.

“Princess Luna!” said both guards as the bowed to the Princess who was out of my sight.

“Might I ask how you appeared in my royal bedchambers?” Asked Princess Luna as we struggled to unbury ourselves and each other.

“I’m sorry Princess Luna, I was rushed and I kinda just aimed for Canterlot, and nowhere specific here.” Said Twilight from underneath Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.

“And how did you get past your brother's spell?” Princess Luna asked.

“I am the one who taught him the spell.” Replied Twilight, “And I also thought I felt Celestia’s magic influencing where we were going to land, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Oh, Celestia helped. That explains it entirely.” Said Princess Luna laughing.

It took us several minutes to disentangle ourselves from each other and our luggage, the whole task made much simpler when Twilight simply levitated all of Rarity’s bags up into a stack again.

Once I was free from the pile of tangled pony limbs, I made sure Applejack and Scootaloo were okay before turning to the Princess.

“Sorry ‘bout the intrusion, the townspeople in Ponyville are a bit over-zealous at times.” I said casually, I heard the guards armor clink as they stiffened.

Luna, also noticing, leaned to her right to look around me, “Do you not have something to be doing? Such as helping our guests get their luggage to their rooms?” She said coldly to the guard who had pointed his weapon at me.

“But Princess!” He started to protest only to be silenced by a glare from the Princess.

“I’m perfectly safe with Cass, he is about as harmful as a butterfly on a windy day.” Luna said, leaving no room for argument.

The guards quickly took the luggage out of the room, leaving our little group standing in what appeared to be a lavish bedroom. The room itself suited the princess perfectly, the dark blue of the paint on the wall matching both the drapes and tapestries which had Luna’s cutie mark on them. The room was in perfect order, everything neat and orderly, except for the bed which looked like she had just been sleeping in it when we had appeared and scared her out of her slumber.

That and the fact that she was only wearing three socks.

“Did we interrupt anything?” I asked.

“Whatever do you mean?” She asked in her Royal Canterlot voice, pushing me several inches back.

I just pointed at her socks and the bed, rubbing the ringing noise out of my ears.

She looked at her hooves, and with a blush, and with a little hop, she whipped the socks off her feet and flung them out of the nearby window, where a distant crash resounded.

“Wow Luna, you hit that gardener right in the face with those socks!” said Pinkie Pie who was looking out the window.

“So, umm, should we let you get back to your...nap?” I asked hesitantly.

“No!” She said in her Royal voice, before continuing in a normal voice, “I m-mean n-no, no I'll take you to my sister.” Luna stammered

“Is there something different about you?” She asked, looking at me critically.

“Umm, no?” I responded, leaning back from the Princess as she got real close to my face.

“Why does it look like your soul is mixed with two others?” She said, her eyes glowing faintly.

“Oh, that. I adopted Scootaloo with Applejack. You can see that?” I asked, surprised.

“Of course.” She said, “Anyone with magic can see that.”

“Then what about our mental...thing?” I asked.

“Thats different.” Came her voice directly into my head, she smiled and winked at me.

“Mental thing?” Asked Applejack.

“Nothing.” Both me and Luna said in unison.

“So, ummm, Dad?” Asked Scootaloo, tugging on my plants leg.

“Yeah, Scootaloo?”

“Can we meet Princess Luna?” She asked, puppy dog eyes in full effect.

“Are thou not afraid of meeting me?” Luna asked, surprised.

“Maybe!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle as she disappeared behind Rarity’s forelegs.

“Don’t be afraid child, I am harmless, let us partake in the fun, Huzzah!”

Apple Bloom, who had until a couple seconds ago been hiding behind Applejack's leg peaked out at Luna's offer. “Well what do you do for fun here?”

Sporting a playful grin, she simply answered, "Prank Celestia!"

The look on the three young fillies faces was nothing compared to the look on Rainbow Dash’s face, she looked like she had just found a role model almost the equal of the Wonderbolts.

“How about you girls go help the Princess with her latest prank.” I said mischievously.

With a grin the three young fillies ran off with Luna, Rainbow Dash following close behind, leaving me, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Twilight all laughing knowing that this was not going to end well for a certain sister.

“Wait, how are we supposed to find Celestia now?”

After what felt like forever exploring deeper into the castle looking for the Princess, and not seeing anypony, we decided it was a futile effort to just be wandering around in what appeared to be giant circles. We found ourselves a nice little room full of comfortable armchairs, and while Twilight tried to contact Celestia with her magic, we sat around and relaxed.

“You would think that such a big place would have more ponies working here.” Whispered Fluttershy.

“Yeah you would think so, we ain’t seen anyone since Luna scared her guards off.” Said Applejack lying across my lap, half asleep.

“Have you had any luck dear?” Asked Rarity, who had pulled a hairbrush from somewhere and was brushing the knots out of her tail.

“Yes, she said guards are on their way.” Twilight replied distractedly after a moment, her horn glowing brightly.

“Now, ah got some complaints ‘bout how you’re raisin’ mah kid.” Said Applejack, poking my nose with her hoof.

“What?” I said innocently.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to let them go and prank the Princess?”

“They got Princess Luna with them, she won’t let anything happen to them.” I said confidently.

There was a knock at the door before it swung open, revealing a white unicorn wearing a fancy jacket and had a ring on his horn.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Twilight.

“Big Brother!” She said running over to him and giving him a hug. “I didn’t know Celestia was sending you!”

“And I didn’t know you were friends with the human!” He said hugging her back.

Staying seated due to Applejack looking too damn cute to move off my lap. I held out my hand and greet him with a smile.

“Names Sergeant Castle, but call me Cass.”

Taking my hand in his hoof, “My name is Shining Armor, I’m the Captain of the Guard here.”

“Wow, Princess Celestia considers me important enough to send the captain of the guard to come get me and be my tour guide, I’m honored.”

“You won’t hear me complaining, gets me away from all the paperwork, and if I take a detour I can swing by and surprise my wife for a short bit before returning to work.” He said, lost in his own thoughts for a moment.

Chuckling a bit, “I guess the military is the same everywhere, paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.”

Laughing along with me he continued, “Come, we shouldn’t keep the Princess waiting, and you guys are actually a lot closer than you think.”

Standing up, and helping Applejack get to her hooves, I ask. “Did you happen to see Princess Luna, Rainbow Dash, and a group of fillies running around today?”

“Yes, I’ve received reports from my guards telling me to expect another prank on Celestia sometime today.”

“Does things like this happen a lot?” asked Applejack.

“Yeah, those two have started a prank war, and the guards are ill-prepared.”

“Casualties of fun huh?”

“Yeah, last week all of Celestia’s personal guards showed up to guard duty purple.”

Laughing as he lead us across the hallway and down a cleverly hidden stairwell he continued, “And the week before that all of Luna’s guards showed up to duty with itchy powder in their armor.”

“So do all the pranks happen on the guards?” Asked Rarity, who was bringing up the rear.

“Thank the Princesses no, yesterday Princess Luna came down for breakfast completely pink, apparently her shampoo had gotten mixed up with a dye, and Luna, not being a morning pony in the first place, did not notice until she had gone back up to her room.” He was laughing hard as he opened the door at the bottom of the stair, revealing a rather angry looking guard who looked like he had gone through a fluffer, his fur sticking straight out in all angles making him appear much larger than he normally would have been. None of us could hold back our laughter at such a ridiculous sight.

“Take a day off Guardspony Grain, if that is you in there?” A nod from the fluff monster, “I can’t have you walking around, I would never get anything done because I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.” Shining Armor said after bringing his laughter quickly under control, presenting a formidable poker face.

“Yes sir!” He said, snapping a smart salute before quickly departing.

“One of the ‘victims’.” I guessed.

“Yeah, and that’s a new one, I’m guessing today is going to be a long day.”

“What makes you say that?”

At that point I saw Princess Celestia, standing outside of her throne room, sopping wet, apologizing to a group of nobles who were also wet. As I walked over to group she gave me a warm smile before continuing.

“Welcome Sgt Castle, I would invite you into my throne room, but it seems to have developed a weather pattern in there.” Behind the nearby closed doors a large puddle was spreading, and I could hear the faint noise of a heavy downpour.

“So, does something like this happen often?” I ask.

“Only when Luna helps it. Come, walk with me Sergeant. Alone.”

The Princess leads me down the hallway to another sitting room, much like the one we had found earlier. Taking a seat on a comfortable looking couch she invited me to sit in the chair opposite of her.

“So what did you want to discuss?” I asked, fearful that it’ll be a repeat of last time I had met one of the princess, alone.

“I want to discuss how you are, coping with this new world.” She said coldly, giving me a hard stare, “The only reason I haven’t already gone into your mind to see how you think is because my sister vouches for you.”

Standing up suddenly, knocking the chair I was in over, “If you even get that horn near me we will have issues lady!”

“Do not worry, I have no intentions of going into your mind, it is not an enjoyable practice for either party involved.”

“Then what the hell do you want me in here for? I said, backing away from her, reaching into the small of my back.

“To merely discuss your options.” She said, nonchalantly.

“Options? Why am I not liking the way you are sayin that?”

Ignoring my last comment, she continued, “The first option you have is to accept that you are stuck here and make lasting relationships, of which you seem to have made a few already. The second option you have is to go home.”

“Wait! Princess Luna said I would not be able to get home! She said there was no magic to get me home!”

“And there is none, that she knows of, magic has grown in the thousand years she was on the moon.”

“So you can send me home?”

“No, the magic involved would turn our world inside out.”

“Oh, that might just be a small issue.”

“I would say so, I quite enjoy my world like it is now.

So is there an option three?” I ask, crossing my arms in front of me.

“Yes, you can not accept the facts and become a recluse, locking this world out.”

“Why on earth would I do that?”

“Because the realization that you will never have a family here. I don’t know what your relationship with Applejack is but I will tell you now it will not work. There will come a time that she will want foals of her own, and you cannot provide. There will be times that you will want something she cannot provide. I’m warning you now while you still have time to end it before one of you gets hurt.”

You could have heard a pen drop a thousand miles away the silence was so total, I was barely breathing, the rage building in my chest.

“Just so you know, there are some things in life that are deeper than a physical attraction. Just because she’s a different species doesn’t mean I cannot love her. I will admit that sex will be, weird, if it ever happens. As for kids of our own, there is always adoption. It scares me that you cannot accept that we make each other happy, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be standing here.I owe her my life, she saved me from a downward spiral I didn’t even realize that I was in. Is it bad that your sister, who has been trapped on the moon for a thousand years, because of you, knows love better than you?!”

I was practically shaking at the end, she just looked at me in shock, she definitely was not expecting me to be yelling at her. And neither did her guards as they swarmed the room.

“OUT!” She commanded, the guard ponies skidding to a stop before running right back out of the room.

“Compassion must be new to you,” I said quietly, “You couldn't even show your sister mercy and release her from her private Hell.” I’m not sure if the images flashing through my mind were mine or Luna’s, but the sorrow of being trapped for far too long alone I knew was both mine and hers.

“You are so out of touch with your people that you are getting reports on Friendship for God’s sake. You’re more than a thousand years old and have no friends, have no close loved ones. Hell the only one who ever loved you, you banished to the moon for a thousand years. But yet, you still have the audacity to be trying to tell me how to have my relationships.”

I stalked out of the room, leaving the princess wide-eyed with shock. The guards on the outside of the room attempted to stop me, still clueless about the shouting that had just happened. They had no chance in Hell of slowing me down as I walked through them, parting the group like the Red Sea. My friends were on the backside of the group, concerned looks on their faces.

“Shining Armor, can you lead me to my room?” I asked, ignoring the questioning looks.

“What was going on in there?” He asked.

“Later, right now you probably want me far away so I don’t do something stupid.” I could feel my friends concerned stares burrowing into my back as I walked away. But for the moment, I couldn’t give a flying Batman fuck.

If half of what Celestia had hinted at was true, then I was really going to need to find someone who brewed a nice strong drink somewhere around here.

Ch 14. Why can't Nothin Ever Be Easy?

I stormed into the large comfortable looking room, slamming the door shut after myself. Storming over to the window I threw it open, wanting fresh air to be blowing across my face. There was a gentle knocking at my door, and not wanting to be bothered I ignored it.

The persistent knocking on the door eventually got on my nerves, so I went to the door and as I reached for the door handle, the door was violently bucked inward, smashing me full in the face.

“Now what in tarnation has you soo... Where did ya go?” Asked Applejack as she entered the room.

“Oww”

“Oh, now what on earth are you doin’ behind that door?”

“Just relaxin.” I come out holding my nose, trying to slow the blood pouring out of it.

“Now what in tarnation has you so worked up?” She said as she led me back to the bed, grabbing a towel from the side table to soak up the blood.

“Why does everyone think that our relationship is doomed to fail? Did we move too fast or something? Did I do something that makes everyone just instantly assume that I’m a horrible person only interested in banging you?”

“Ah don’t know. Is that what the Princess wanted to talk to ya about?” She said gently, sitting next to me.

“More or less.”

“Now what is this mental thing that you mentioned earlier?”

“That night at the hospital, Princess Luna came and visited. While we were walking through the gardens nearby she did some magic thing. I truthfully don’t know all the details. But she looked into my head to make sure I was safe to be around. And as an show of good faith, she reversed the spell and let me peer into her mind. Every now and then I see memories and thoughts that are not mine. And I also think we can somehow communicate, as if the bridges made between our minds are more than a one time thing.”

“Have ya tried to, ya know, do it on purpose?” She asked hesitantly.

“Um, no. Gimme a sec.”

Furrowing my brow in concentration I made the mental image of me yelling “LUNA!” at the top of my lungs.

“Ah! Is thy in trouble?” Came her instant response.

“No, just seeing if we had some sort of telepathy.”

“Well of course we do, did I not mention that?”

“You may have forgotten that.”

“Oh, ummm, well HUZZAH! That was a test, and you, um, pass!” I could almost see her giving me a cheesy smile.

“So what bad habits are you teaching my daughter?”

What came next surprised me, I saw a flash of light on the inside of my eyelids, and then I saw the throne room from underneath a table. The vision shifted left showing me the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were armed with an arsenal of prank items. A mirror appeared from nowhere and floated up into my line of sight, showing me Luna’s smiling face.

“It can be more than just thoughts. With some effort we can share our experiences.”

“Umm, is that safe?”

“Perfectly safe, I think.”

I watched as she looked out from underneath the tablecloth at Celestia, who was sitting alone, or so she thought, in the throne room. There were large puddles all over the ground and a lone cloud lazily hanging out near one of the windows. Creeping from an alcove above the throne, Rainbow Dash sprinkled something from a jar down onto the Princess. There was a moment that she just continued reading from the scroll levitating in front of her, oblivious to the prank. Then all of the sudden the Princesses still wet fur started changing color, to a dark blue.

But the Princess just sat there, completely oblivious to the change.

“Should we try the powder of itchy-ness next?” Whispered Luna.

“I can hear you younger sister.” Celestia said without looking away from her scroll.

Luna was climbing out from underneath the table when a gentle shake brought me back to the real world, a concerned looking Applejack looking straight into my eyes.

“What happened?”

“Ah don’t know, you tell me. You tried that mental thing, and next thing ah knew you were droolin’ all over yourself.”

Wiping my face quickly I sat up, instantly regretting it. It felt as if I had just drank through all my stock of Moon Whiskey. Wait....what? Those thoughts were not mine, I had never brewed my own whiskey. I was going to have to ask Luna if there was a way of keeping our thoughts from overflowing into each other.

“Easy there pardner, don’t want ya to hurt yourself now.” She said as she helped me into a seated position.

“Thanks.” The vertigo was fading fast, but it still felt....wrong, to have my body.

“So, what happened?”

“Turns out that we can do more than text each other with our minds.”

“Text?”

“Send messages, like just then I was in Luna’s body,seeing and hearing everything she did. Hell I could feel my wings...Her wings pressed into my sides.”

“Sounds like twelve different flavors of confusin.”

“You got no idea, though you might find this funny, Princess Celestia is now blue.”

Applejack, laughing at the mental images, stole my heart.

“If only I could make her do that more, my life would be better.” I thought to myself.

“I could teach you to make her happier.” Thought Princess Luna, mischievously.

“Not very Princessly of you Luna.”

“I was stuck on the moon for a thousand years, thy will cut me some slack.”

“Umm, hun, you’re doin it again.” Said Applejack as she prodded me in my ribs.

“Oh, sorry, Luna is distracting me.”

“Oh, can she see and hear us?”

“I don’t kn-”

“Yes.” She thought to me.

“Yeah, she can.”

“Well then you might want to look away.” She said as she leaned into me, closing the gap with my face. “I’d like to prove her sister wrong.” She said just before she kissed me.

A Few Hours Later...

“Now you did what?” Laughed Applejack.

“I’m not kiddin’! There I was standing on the roof, my good buddy, Keith, right below me. The beer had made it seem like such a great idea, I mean, anyone can leap into a pool, but who can leap into the neighbor's pool from our roof on nothin’ but a scooter.”

“Oh Scootaloo would love this story!”

“Heh, yeah. But anyways, we hit the bottom goin’ like 25 miles per hour, somehow the ramp that we made outta a keg and a two by four held and we flew over the fence, through the tree, and landed right in the pool.”

“You made it?”

“Oh fuckin’ hell yeah, the only thing we never figured on was that the pool was empty!”

“Whoops, now what happened to ya’ll?”

“Well Keith had to have my teeth removed from the back of his head and I had to get the scooter removed from my ass. But those few months in the hospital was freakin worth it. When I was finally able to walk straight again the women were all over me. You see we humans are simple creatures,” I add with a fancy accent, pretending to drink tea all sorts of fancy-like, “We throw our women at the stupid and the strong, breeding generations of stupider and stronger humans, and thus repeating the process.”

Applejack was banging her hoof on the table, laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face.

“Ah can’t believe you were ever that dumb!”

“Now I was only a kid then, hell I wouldn’t have even known what to do with a woman at that point, I’m sure you’ve had some moments when you were younger. Aw, hell, I’ve been tellin’ stories since we’ve gotten to this doughnut shop and you ain’t even said one yet.”

“Well, umm, nothing really happened...”

“I really need to play poker with you.”

“Poke her?”

“Another time, but anyways, you by far are the worst liar I've ever seen.”

“Ah’m the element of honesty, kinda implies somethin’ don’ it?”

“True, but now you’ve gotten me even more curious, what did you do.” I say quietly, poking her in the ribs under the table, causing her to jump.

“Well, ‘bout six years ago ah found Big Mac’s stash of hard cider.” She said, blushing so hard I could almost feel the heat off of it.

“And?”

“Ah, well, turns out ah can’t hold my liquor at all, woke up the next mornin’ in the middle of town with a lampshade on my head, with a headache worse than any other.”

“Well I could’ve told ya that you can’t handle alcohol. Hardly the worst thing to happen when you got drunk.”

“Well, ugh, there’s more than just wakin’ up in the middle of town.”

“More?”

“Yeah, my coltfriend at the time got the bright idea to, ummm.....take advantage of me....”

“What’s his name?” I asked, seriously.

“Nononono, Big Mac already straighten’d him out, he ain’t even shown his face in town since Mac did that whoopin on him.”

“Is that also why he’s so protective of you?”

“Yeah, ah was so heartbroken that ah couldn’t bring myself to leave my room for a good month or two afterwards.” She said, a solitary tear slipping out of her eyes.

“Hey, stop that.” I said gently, wiping the tear from her face, “He was an idiot for wastin’ a relationship like that. And just think, if you had never broken up with him, you would’ve never been available for a devious manly man like me to come in and sweep you off your feet.”

“Ohhh, where is this ‘manly man’ ah wanna meet him!” She joked.

“Oh hah-”

“Cass!” Screamed Luna.

Falling out of my chair, gaining quite a few looks from the other ponies in the doughnut shop, I look around for the panicked sounding princess.

“What in tarnation is going on with you?” Asked Applejack as she helped me back into my chair.

“I don’t know, I could’ve sworn I heard Luna scream my name.”

“Scream your name....”

“Not like that!”

“Well ah didn’ hear a thing.”

“Hold on.” I said, concentrating on Luna, I could almost feel her panicking.

“Luna?” I thought gently, if that was even possible.

“Cass! Have you seen the crusaders while out in the town?”

“No, but I really haven’t been looking, they were supposed to be with you.”

“They were, but we ran out of the prank tools and I asked them to get more while I raised the moon. I also sent Rainbow Dash with them but they never made it there. What will I do? Have I lost my new friends?”

“Calm down, they probably got lost, can you send me a mental image of the route to the Prank store?”

“Ye-” She was cut off by flashes of light, showing me the route she took every time she went to the prank store and all of the alternate routes she had discovered while avoiding the guards.

“Thanks, I’ll find them, don’t worry.” I thought back to the panicking princess, who seemed to almost be in tears if I read the moods she was broadcasting right.

“What wrong hun?” Asked Applejack, worry written all over her face.

“Princess Luna sent Rainbow Dash and the Crusaders to go get more prank stuff, and they haven’t gotten back yet, they’re probably just lost. Unfortunately Luna is worried that the worst has happened.”

“Ugh, knowin’ that Rainbow Dash she probably got them all lost chasing after some poor pony who looked like a member of the Wonderbolts.”

“Yeah, but we should get going.”

We exited the doughnut shop, paying our rather large bill, and continued down streets that I now knew like the back of my hand. Such as that bush over there where Luna hid for three hours from Shining Armor and his guards after a particularly....embarrassing prank.

Turning down the next street I heard odd noises coming from one of the ally’s, almost sounding like a fight. Curious, I walked over to it, Applejack right on my heels. Peaking around the corner I saw a scene that made my stomach drop like a stone. Rainbow Dash was on the ground, bleeding from the back of her head, and the Crusaders were surrounded by a group of earth pony thugs.

“I asked nicely, and then not quite so, but do I really need to tell you to give me all of your money?” Threatened the largest, who was only bit smaller than Big Mac.

I sprinted around the corner, sliding between the ponies who didn't have time to react to my sudden appearance. Popping up in front of the Crusaders, I lowered myself into a threatening stance.

“If you were smart you would disappear.” I growled.

“Now why would I do a silly thing like that freak, there’s one of you versus six of us, and we are all armed.” He said cheerfully.

I slowly pulled my knife from the back of my pants,the low grating noise sounding louder than a gunshot in the darkening alley.

“An’ he ain’t alone!” Said Applejack from behind their little gang.

“Aww, how cute, your little marefriend is here to save you. I’m gonna enjoy pleasurin’ her right in front of your bleeding face.

Whipping my arm out in front of me I caught the closest in a haymaker, he staggered right into my second punch that put him out before he hit the ground. Not like I stopped to check though, I was already working on the second pony. Slashing at his face, he barely dodged but didn’t see my foot as it connected to the top of his head, driving his face into his own knife. The next pony, seeing his other two buddies fall so easily, turned to run, but was tripped up by his own weapon as it was ripped from his hoofs with a little magic from Sweetie Belle.

The fourth pony, who was trying to fend off a double attack from Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, he never had a chance as I brought the base of my knife up into the side of his head. Hitting him quickly three times he fell into some trash bins, where a swift kick ensured he stayed down. Applejack, meanwhile, was busy bucking the last goon in the face as I charged the leader of the gang. He stepped behind Applejack, grabbing her mane with one hoof and putting his knife to her throat with the other. He just stood there, looking happy at his apparent victory.

“You move and she dies freak!” He said evilly as my vision blurred to black...

Ch 15. Aftermath

“Applejack!” I screamed, flying out of the bed I was in.

Looking around the room I was in, it was a far cry from the suites I had been given for this trip. The walls were made of a dark stone, there was a small window high up on one wall, thick metal bars crossing it tighty. The bed I was in was a simple wooden shelf, on the opposite wall of a sturdy looking door that had a small window in it.

“Good, you are awake.” said a heavily accented voice on the other side of the door.

“Where is Applejack and Scootaloo!” I said, pounding on the door.

“They are safe Mr. Cass, the guards escorted them to their rooms and ve brought you here.”

“Where the hell am I?” I demanded.

“You are in jail, you killed a pony, and vounded several guards vhen ve tried to arrest you.” His slight russian sounding accent making his muffled words a labor to understand

“Wait, what happened?”

“Let me see, according to the report, you interrupted a robbery on a group of friends and your daughter. Quickly knocked out 5 earth ponies with minor injuries, but vhen the leader took a...Miss Applejack hostage. The report gets veird from here, the report says you threw you knife at the pony, missing him by inches, but that gave you enough of a distraction to free Miss Applejack. From there you are reported as having, ‘Broken every bone in the pony’s body, the organs appeared to have gone through a meat grinder’. After that, vell, vhen the guards tried to arrest you, you resisted, until Miss Applejack called your name. Vhen she called your name, you instantly stopped fighting, smiled briefly, and collapsed.” He paused momentarily to take a rasping breath.

“You must have put up quite a fight, you put twelve guards in the hospital. Four earth ponies, three unicorns, and five pegasus guards to be exact, quite a feat for any lone fighter to take on at once and still win. And that is not counting the criminals you also took out so brilliantly!”

Sitting on the bunk, holding my head in my hands. How could I face Applejack after murdering a pony in front of her, and then putting twelve guards in the hospital. Sure the thief was understandable, it was a life and death situation. But the guards? I just hope Scootaloo and the other Crusaders didn’t see any of it.

“Now if you vere vondering, your friend, Miss Rainbov Dash is fine, a slight concussion and a tvisted ving but she vill probably not even spend the night at the hospital.”

“So what are they going to do to me, what are the laws for a case like this?”

“Normally ve vould ensure your safety and then ve vould release you. But Princess Celestia is vorried that you are unsafe to be around. She is currently trying to convince the judges to have you, ‘made safe’.” Said the guard with disgust.

“Made safe, how do you make someone safe?”

“Vipe your memories and start anew, remake you essentially”

“What!?” I yell as I rush the door, which refused to even budge.

“Do I not get the opportunity to even defend myself in my own trial?” I screamed at the door.

“No, the Princess is convinced that you are too unsafe to be released from your cell. But this old unicorn has seen much today, I feel very sleepy, and vhoops, I accidentally unlocked the the door.” The guard said as the lock rasped open.

Stepping out of the cell I saw a very old looking stallion wearing the armor of one of Luna’s guards, he was leaning back in a chair, rear hooves on the table, his eyes closed but had a large smile on his face.

“Thanks” I said, walking past him.

“Shhh. You don’t want to vake the guard, that old Comrade Hammer is a tough one.” Said the guard, then he proceeded to ‘snore’.

Sneaking into the hallway I recognized where I was from Luna’s memories, following a path that just felt right I ended up outside Luna’s bedroom. Pausing at her doorway I sent a mental thought at her.

“Luna!”

“CASS!” Came her instant, vocal, and very loud reply from inside the room.

“Where are you Cass, my sister has prevented me from seeing you!” She thought at me.

“Open your door.”

There was a brief pause as Luna processed what I had just told her. She opened the door, revealing her tear streaked face.

“Thanks goodness you are okay, Tia wouldn’t tell me anything!” She said as she hugged me hard enough that I felt my ribs pop.

“Probably for the better, I lost it earlier.”

“I heard about you yelling at her, that is nothing to fear of.”

“I killed a pony.”

Before she could react I opened my mind, letting her come into it freely and see what I saw.

“But what happened after he captured Applejack?” She asked quietly as she pulled me into her bedroom.

“According to the pony who was guarding me, I beat him to death. And when the guards came to arrest me I resisted, putting several in the hospital.”

“Have you seen Applejack or Scootaloo since the...attack?”

“No, and how can I?”

“They need to see you, they love you and they need to know you are okay!”

“Won’t matter, Celestia is trying to convince the judges to wipe my mind.”

”WHAT?!!!”

Taking a few steps back, my ears surely bleeding at this point.

“She surely cannot be serious, it is just a jest right?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then we need to find my sister and convince her not to perform the gravest of travesties!”

Letting myself be pulled by Luna’s strong magic she rushed from the room, running through the mostly empty hallways towards the throne room. She slid to a stop right outside the throne room and nearly ran over a very angry looking Shining Armor.

“Luna! What are you doing with him, Princess Celestia made it very clear he is to be kept under lock and key.”

“I don’t care, if he could have hurt me, he has missed plenty of opportunities to do so! And we need to talk to Celestia, now.” She said very threatening, tightening her magic on me, squeezing the air from my lungs.

“She is currently meeting with the judg-”

“NOW!” she interrupted, showing a side of her I’ve never seen before. “They are discussing whether or not to wipe Cass’s mind, and if any of thou would like to share his fate, I would suggest them to not move.”

Shining Armor, shocked at the outburst from the usually quiet, fun loving princess, meekly stepped aside, pushing the door open with his magic.

“Shining Armor, I thought I told you I wanted to be left alone.” said Celestia scornfully as Luna entered the room.

“We need to talk Tia.” she said quietly, keeping me out-of-sight in the hallway.

“Not now sister, we are deciding a very important decision here, I will talk to you later!” She said dismissively before turning back to the 3 judge ponies.

“It’s about Cass.” Luna said calmly, but her thoughts were running wild.

“I know that look Luna, somehow you have discovered what he has done, we cannot let him roam free, what if somepony makes a joke and he snaps, I cannot risk the lives of my subjects for a....a stranger.”

“I know what he did sister, but Applejack was able to stop him just by calling his name. Showing that she can control his blackouts!”

“But what if she can’t! I can’t let that monster potentially hurt somepony! He needs to be either destroyed or exiled, I’ve been trying to give him the least destructive option, a chance to start anew!”

“Is that what you do with monsters, destroy and exile?” Luna sobbed quietly, “If you couldn’t exile me would you have killed me? Or would you have just wiped my mind?”

“Luna.” Celestia said gently, “You know that was different.”

“No! It’s not!” Luna yelled.

I felt her magic release me as she broke into tears. Striding into the room, past the judge ponies who were determined to remain out of the family feud.

“So, does this monster get a say in his own execution?”

“GUARDS!!” Yelled Celestia.

As if in response Shining Armor slammed the throne room doors shut, locking them with a solid click.

“We need to talk Princess.” I said coldly.

“You stay away, if you hurt my sister having no memories will be the least of your worries.”

“Wow, not even going to let me discuss this like a rational human to a rational alicorn. You always seem to make the best of decisions.” I say as I put my arm around Luna as she sobs on the floor, she wasn't paying any attention to what was happening but was lost in the memories of her thousand year exile.

“Well then, what did you want to talk about?”

“I know I’m a danger, I try not to be, but it always comes back, I don’t want to be in a position where I could potentially hurt Applejack or Scootaloo. But I know if I just suddenly disappeared, or even changed, that it would hurt them. And I know you have already seen what happens when they are threatened.”

“So what options do you see open for yourself?”

“One, say fuck it, stab me with your horn, and screw the consequences. Two, move me into the castle and keep me within sight at all times. Or three, move a guard or two to Ponyville, keep my family safe from me, no matter the cost, not worrying about arresting me, just keep them safe.”

“And if I do not like your options?”

“Guess I figure out how sharp your horn is then.” I said with a smile that had no warmth.

“Judges, what do you think?”

The judges, obviously not wanting to be locked in that room, held a short conference with each other before the eldest looking of the group stepped forwards and announced.

“We have decided on a fourth option. Princess Luna will move to Ponyville, taking her guards with her. She will be the caretaker of Sergeant Castle, and her guards will be the protectors of his family and others. This solution solves many issues, and we believe it is the best option for solving all of them.”

Celestia just sat there, her eyes wide, and her mouth wide open, not believing anything her most trusted of judges had just told her. It was a full minute before she regained her composure and glared directly at me. As if it was my fault.

“And,” the judge continued after one of the others whispered something into his ear. “In light of Sergeant Castle’s involvement in a recent police action, he is hereby promoted to the newly created rank of Lunar Probationary Captain. Congrats Captain, the guards will be informed soon and will be awaiting your orders when you arrive in Ponyville, until then, we order you to spend time with your family. This court is adjourned, and the case settled. And Celestia, be expecting my resignation in the morning!” Said the judge as he stormed to the door, which promptly swung open, revealing a large number of well armed and armored guards, who were trying their hardest to appear busy, one even mopping the floor with a spear.

Comrade Hammer and Shining Armor entered the room, both of them wore an impressive poker face as they trotted up to me and Luna.

“Princess Luna, please come with me.” Said Shining Armor gently as he helped Luna leave the room with some dignity.

“Captain Sergeant!” Snapped Comrade Hammer as he gave me a crisp salute. “I’m here to lead you to your family, they are vaiting for you.”

“Lead the way.” I said, letting him lead me from the room, pausing at the door I looked back at Princess Celestia. It looked like she was trying very hard to not cry, and I sympathised. She was only trying to protect her family from the wolf in sheeps wool.

“Captain Sergeant!” Said Comrade Hammer as he poked my leg.

“Call me Captain Sergeant one more time and I’ll make you regret freeing me from that jail.” I threatened half heartedly as the throne room doors swung shut.

“Ha, I like you already Captain, speak your mind first, consequences never!” He said, his happiness leaking through his poker face. “But I like the ring of Captain Sergeant, makes you sound more important than just Probationary Captain!”

“It’s just Cass, and please let the others know that, and I do not want to ever be saluted ever again.”

“Not much into that military foolery I see my friend.”

“No, I am practicable, but lets not worry about that now, please just get me to my family quick, I have to see them, oh and Comrade Hammer, thanks for letting me out.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it Cass, but call me Sasha.”

“Wait, you’re a female?”

“Hahaha, no, but my vife does sometimes call me one with less gentle words my friend, but lets not keep yours vaiting!”

Ch 16. INSPECTION!

Standing outside of a tall wooden door I was sweating bullets. I could face armed criminals who outnumbered me, but I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door to the room that held my loved ones. How could I face them after what I had done?

“Vhat are you vaiting for, get in there!” Said Sasha as he knocked on the door for me, and quickly disappeared despite his large size.

“Ah told ya we didn’t want no room service!” Yelled Applejack from somewhere in the room.

“But, I’m the best room service ever!”

There was a gasp of surprise and the pounding of hooves as Applejack sprinted to the door and threw it open. Her eyes were bloodshot and there were streaks running from her eyes, and her familiar stetson was missing. Her mane was a total mess, the usual braid abandoned at some point earlier in the night. I just stood there, frozen, not knowing what to say or do.

“DADDY!” Squealed Scootaloo as she catapulted from further in the room right into my face, knocking me off my feet and several yards down the hallway.

“Don’t you ever do that ever again! I was so worried that they would never let me see you again!” She sobbed as she squeezed the life out of me. Maybe that’s why I’m always afraid of my family, they’re always trying to choke me!

“I would never allow it.” I said gently, soothing the crying filly.

“You’d better!” She said stubbornly, hoof chopping my forehead.

“So, uh, how did you get outta jail?” Asked Applejack nervously.

“I escaped and took Luna to see her sister.”

“You filly-napped a princess just to blackmail your way out of jail?!” Yelled Applejack.

“What? No, the princess brought me to Celestia of her own free will. But that is not important right now, you two are the most important thing right now.”

Standing up, Scootaloo clinging to my neck like a giant orange necklace, I walked towards Applejack.

“We need to talk, later.” she mouthed silently.

I just nodded and walked past her into the room. It wasn't the room that was given to me but looked more like a room made for a younger pony, most of the furniture being smaller for a younger pony’s comfort. The only thing that remained large was the bed, which had a mighty pillow fort taking up the majority of the space.

Attempting to lift Scootaloo from my neck was met by a fierce resistance, she was clinging to my neck as if I was going to disappear. Seeing how futile the task was, I accepted my fate of being slowly choked out by the cute pony and sat on the bed, leaning against the surprising sturdy wall of the fort.

“Is everypony okay?”

“We’re all okay, Rainbow Dash won’t be flying for a short bit, but other than that the Crusaders escaped from all harm.” Said Applejack as she jumped up next to me, leaning against my side.

“So, umm, how long was I gone?”

“You’ve only been gone for a few hours.”

Scootaloo, nuzzling the side of my neck started snoring slightly, snorting every now and then, and her grasp growing tighter.

“How much did she see?” I asked, fearing the answer.

“Thankfully not much, a Lunar guard, something Hammer I think, showed up and evacuated them soon after you threw your knife at him.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Ah’ve been better, ah just can’t calm down, it’s like it’s still happening, an’ maybe it is in my head. Is this what your PTSD is like for you?”

“Yeah, but hell, you can relax now, I've got you and as long as I am alive nothing will ever harm you or Scootaloo.” I said, stroking her mane as she leaned into me more.

“But what if I wake up and you’re not there?” She asked fearfully.

“Will never happen, I will never leave you for anybody or anything. You and Scootaloo are my life now. I will admit, it all has happened so fast, but I would never change a thing. As Luna as my witness, I will love you always and forever. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you. If you get sick, I will nurse you back to being healthy, if you get hurt I will never forgive myself, your wishes and wants are now my own. I will be your shield from the horrible-ness of the world, I will be your umbrella in the worst of weather, I will be your lighthouse guiding you home. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you marry me?”

There was a long pause as Applejack sat straight up, leaning away from me giving me a look I don’t know how to read. Fearing the worst my heart dropped past my stomach, my soul crushed. I had ruined the only chance I had here to be happy, I could feel hot tears rolling down my face to disappear into Scootaloo’s mane.

“Yes.” She almost whispered.

“What?” I asked, only half believing my ears.

“Yes! I will be your wife!” She leaned up over the snoring Scootaloo and kissed my forehead.

My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest, a warm feeling spreading from my core, spreading all the way to my fingertips.

“Come on, it’s late, and it sounds like tomorrow will be busy.” She said gently as she climbed into the pillow fort.

“Come in and join me, nice and comfy!” She said, her voice muffled.

Careful to not wake Scootaloo, I climb into the fort with my new fiancee, and soon I was in a deep, peaceful slumber.

I woke up when a ray of light struck my face. Looking around the cramped interior of our little fort I saw Applejack and Scootaloo were still asleep. Applejack was sleeping across my chest, ear against it as if she was listening for my heartbeat. Scootaloo was on the other side, laying between my arm and my side on her back, her legs slowly gyrating in the air as she dreamed happily. Not wanting to disturb either of their slumber I just lay there listening to the sounds of them sleeping.

It was not long before the sun invaded our little fort more, waking Scootaloo first.

“Morning dad.” she giggled as she tried to wiggle out of the crook of my arm.

“Mornin’ Scoots, sleep well?” I asked, rolling my shoulder forward to help her into a seated position.

“Yeah Daddy, you being so lumpy you make a good pillow!” She said as she poked my abs.

“Don’t you find it weird to be calling me Dad?”

“Kinda, but I’ve always wanted one and this is like a dream come true!” She said nervously, before adding, “Do you want me to stop?”

“Only if you want too, I find it cute to finally have a daughter.” I said ruffling her hair, “And besides it reminds me of my second best decision I’ve made here.”

“Wait, I’m second!” She protested.

I poked Applejack in her ribs and said, “Deciding to marry your mom is the first.”

Scootaloo just sat there for a moment, just staring at me with her mouth open in shock. “You proposed!” She squeaked.

“Last night after you fell asleep.”

“I can’t wait to tell the others!” she said as she jumped out of the fort through its only window.

“An’ they think you’re dangerous.” Said Applejack as she sat up and wiped the drool from her face.

“I know, right?” I said, snuggling closer to her.

There was a loud knock on the door, followed by a familiar russian sounding voice.

“Cass, the guardsponies are avaiting your inspection before they start moving to Ponyville.”

“Your inspection?” Asked Applejack as we disentangled ourselves.

“Oh, yeah, I’m now the Captain of the Lunar guard as they move to Ponyville. They are coming to Ponyville to keep me from harming anyone.”

“What about Princess Luna, they can’t just take all of her guards and leave her here without them.”

“She’s also moving to Ponyville, orders of the court.”

“Must have been one doozy of a fight last night.” She commented dryly as I pulled my undershirt on.

“You have no idea. I can still feel Luna crying.”

“Celestia made Luna cry? That doesn’t sound like her at all.” Poking her head out of the fort to watch me pull on my boots.

“Yeah, she seemed cold hearted, but I guess she was just trying to protect her sister from me.”

There was another knock on the door, “Cass, are you ready yet?”

“Come on in Sasha, I’m almost ready.”

“Sasha? That didn’t sound like a mare's voice.”

“Because I vould make a very ugly mare.” Said Sasha as he trotted into the room, still in full armor.

“Applejack, this is Sasha, my....”I paused, realizing I had not asked him what his rank was in the excitement of last night.

“I am his lieutenant, or, vell I vas, seeing how ve did not have a captain before last night, I guess I am the acting captain.”

“Ah, and Saha, this is Applejack, my fiancee as of last night.”

“Pleased to meet you ma’am, if you ever have a need for me, ask.” He said extending his hoof to shake hers

“An’ you too partner.” she replied cordially as returned the gesture.

“So you are to be married already, you move fast my friend!”

“It just seems, right.” I said, hating myself for not being able to say more fitting words.

“And it vill be the best decision of your life, I do not know vhat I vould do vithout my vife.”

“Now how is your wife takin’ to the move to Ponyville?” asked Applejack, who was just sitting in the window of the fort.

“She is very excited to be out back into the country like her homelands, the city does not suit her.”

“Umm, Sasha?”

“Yes?”

“The guard ponies are waiting.”

“Oh! Yes, we will have to meet again Miss Applejack. But ve cannot keep the troops avaiting!”

“I’ll be back soon.” I whispered in her ear as I kissed her on the nose, earning a giggle from her as she blushed hard.

Following the stout guard pony out of the room and through the lascivious hallways. He stopped me by a familiar doorway and knocked gently. The door creaked open, an odd thing for the well kept castle.

“Princess Luna?” Asked Sasha as he slowly extended his hoof into the doorway, slowly pushing it open even more.

Looking into the room I saw the Princess, lying in her bed, seeming smaller than she usually did. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying so much and her mane was a mess.

“What Sasha? I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed.” She sobbed as she lowered her head back into her vast pillow.

Determined to end this now, I walked up to her bed and plopped down, bouncing her a few inches into the air. Putting my hand on the back of her head I sat there for a moment, before roughly grabbing the back of her head and lifting it up so I could look at her eye to every shocked eye.

“What your sister said, she didn’t mean. She loves you so much that even someone like me, who if you hadn’t noticed, hasn't really ever been on her good side can see it. I can still tell that she loves you more than anything else. She was just trying to protect you from me. If I was in her position I would have done the same thing, just with less tact. You are lucky.” The Princess sat there, tears welling up in her eyes.

“But she said herse-”

“What she said and what she feels are two different things, she may have lived for thousands of years but she can still have problems showing and saying what she feels. Give her some time to reorganize her thoughts and get all this bad blood out of her head, and I’m sure she will miss you more than anything else. Anyways, sitting here cooped up in your room on such a beautiful day can’t be healthy. You're coming with me whether you like it or not!”

I hoisted Luna over my shoulder, ignoring her protests and struggles.

“Cass!” Thy does not have our permission to handle us in such a manner! We demand thou put us down, NOW!” She used her magic as she yelled that last word into my ear, forcing my knees to drop out from underneath me, causing me to drop the princess and attempt to keep myself from flattening her.

I shouldn’t have worried though, Sasha, moving surprising fast for his old age, leaped under us, catching the both of us on his back.

“Thou shalt not touch me in that manner again!” Yelled Luna.

“Then how about this way?” I said as I reached behind her left ear, tickling the spot just between her mane and her ear.

Her legs grew weak as she laughed, hard, tears of joy now falling.

“Sto-HAHA- I coman- HAHAHA- please!” She gasped as she fought futilely against my tickle barrage while Sasha nonchalantly held her down, “So you're coming with us right?”

“No!” She said defiantly.

Resuming my tickles I asked again, “So, is that a yes now?”

“I’ll Never Give!” She shrieked in laughter

“Why am I here again?” Asked Luna grumpily as we walked out onto a large grassy field filled with dark-colored stallions in fancy war armor.

“Because Cpt. Cass here has the ‘magic’ hooves.” said Sasha, who was bringing up the rear.

“Fingers, humans have fingers and hands, not ‘hooves’” I said, trying hard not to laugh at his accent.

“You understood vhat I meant.”

“ATTENTION!” Yelled the pony who was standing in front of the closest formation, and I instinctively snapped to attention myself.

“Umm, Cass, that’s for them, not you.” Teased Luna.

“Ummm...Right, some habits die hard.” I said sheepishly.

Walking up to Deep Stone, the Company’s First Sergeant, I returned his sharp salute, as he turned to face me.

“At ease Soldiers!” I yelled out to the formation, the guard ponies instantly snapping to position in unison.

“As you may well know I am to be your new captain, eventually. But until then I am nothing, treat me like you would treat your buddies to your right and left, and don’t make me make that an order!”

“Alright Night Walkers, I hate wasting your time, so I will meet each platoon in order, while the others go and work on what needs to be done. Platoon Sgts, take charge!”

It took me a few hours to meet all the Guards in all of the platoons, Luna’s shared memories gave me an unfair advantage. It had felt as if I had known all the guards for months, if not longer, and they had only just met me. After we had gotten done I walked back to the door that we entered the field from, Sasha and Luna moving to the opposite door headed to the kitchens to obtain food for the Princess, who had not eaten since lunch the day prior.

Walking through the empty hallways towards my suite that, hopefully, my family was still in I paused, hearing a faint giggling from ahead. Cautiously I crept forward, being utterly silent, and sticking to the shadows where I could. Peaking around the corner at the door to my room I saw that the hallway was utterly empty, but yet there was still that sound of giggling!

Creeping up to the door, remaining alert for any potential surprises, I eased my hand onto the doorknob before sliding the door only slightly forward, just enough to see if there was a trap awaiting me on the other side. Not seeing any I slinked away from the door, getting myself into a good charging stance.

After a brief pause listening to the giggling, ensuring that whoever it was wasn't immediately on the other side of the door, I charged the still cracked open door. Bursting into the room I surprised all the ponies hiding throughout the room. Twilight, who had been hiding behind a table, had also somehow managed to launch a punch bowl across the room with her magic.

“Surprise?” Said Rainbow Dash, the first to recover from the shock as I sat there laughing my ass off.

“This is payback for the last time you tried to throw a surprise party for me!”

“But I said I was sorry!” Cried Pinkie Pie, who was soaking from her impromptu bath.

“I know Pinkie, just givin’ ya a hard time, come on, what’s this party for anyways?”

Getting excited again, her hair bouncing back into its familiar curls, “It’s your engagement party, you silly!”

“Yes, congratulations.” Said Fluttershy, uncharistically loud.

“Can we be the wedding planners?” Asked Apple Bloom.

“Ummm, ask Applejack, and thanks Fluttershy.”

The other ponies, now over the shock of my sudden entrance, had started the party up. A white unicorn and a grey earth pony, using a soundboard and a cello, were discreetly adding music, an odd combo to be sure. Twilight, using her magic, was quickly making another bowl of punch while Rarity used her magic to dry the last bowl of punch from her fur. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were both attempting to get Fluttershy onto the dance floor. Applejack was just sitting serenely on the couch, surrounded by the CMC as they all bounced excitedly around her.

Walking over to her, she looked up briefly before the excited fillies demanded her full attention again, all three of the gesturing wildly and talking way too fast for me to understand.

Watching them for a moment I couldn’t help but smile at the young ponies enthusiasm to be planning a wedding for someone that they all knew personally. Applejack, on the other hand, looked like she was trying her best to keep some of the wilder ideas from becoming actual plans.

“Hey girls.” I said, ruffling Scootaloo’s hair, “Mind if I steal her for a moment?”

“Yes!” They said in unison.

“Too bad, my party, my privageles, I promise I’ll return her, and besides that plannin’ can wait for later. Maybe you can try to see if one of your cutie marks is something to do with parties?” The three young ponies gasped in surprise, suddenly huddling together to decide on a plan for the party.

“Thanks sugarcube.” She said as she allowed me to take her to the dance floor.

Reaching the dance floor, I noticed all eyes on me, and that was also the point I realised I had never seen any pony dancing. I had no clue what to do, and I couldn’t use any human dancing because the only time I’ve ever danced was at my senior prom and that was only one slow dance.

Tapping me on the chest and motioning for me to lean down, she whispered into my ear. “I’m sorry hun, but I ain’t much of a dancer.”

“Oh thank god, I got two left feet also!”

“Umm, hun?” She said, lifting her left hooves.

“Sorry, human saying, it means that I can’t dance the greatest either.”

The grey mare playing the cello, seeing our dilemma, prodded the white unicorn and said something I didn’t hear. The result was instantaneous though, they went from playing a faster, uppity song, to playing a slower dance song.

“Follow my lead.” I said, taking her forehooves in my hands. Placing one on my shoulder and keeping the other in my hand. I started off slow, easing her into the unfamiliar steps. She had to lean heavily onto me, not used to being in an upright position.

After a few steps that I remembered from my prom all those years ago, she had only stomped onto my feet a few times, but all the while growing better at it. By the time that we had worked up to the tempo of the song she was not stepping onto my toes anymore and was keeping up with me. Gliding across the dance floor in awkward circles, I focused entirely on Applejack, her half-smile as she focused on her dancing, trying to not step on my toes anymore, her nervous chuckle as I twirled her on her tippy hoofs. Every little thing about her just reminding me why I had fallen for her in the first place.

All too soon the song had ended, and I had to let her go. We made our way off the dance floor with a blush on both our faces as the other ponies applauded.

“Come on now. All we did was dance!” Protested Applejack.

“But it was so CUTE!” Squealed Pinkie Pie, “How Cass looked at you the entire dance just oozed love!”

“We’re just going to have to have a dance at your wedding now!” Cried Scootaloo.

“Woah now! Thats the only dance I can do!” I protested, wondering what the hell I had just gotten myself into.

“Well dear, I simply must teach you more then!” Rarity said.

“Ah’ll need those lessons too. Most of the time ah’m the one makin’ the music with my fiddle. All ah can really do is a line dance!” Applejack said as she sipped on some punch that Fluttershy had handed her.

“Certainly dear, not like I could possibly even think of letting you go to your own wedding and not know how to dance!”

“Cass, can I join the party?” Asked Luna mentally.

“Don’t see why not, and bring Sasha if he ain’t busy.”

“HUZZAH, the invitation has been doubled!”

“Cass, why are you smacking your forehead?” Asked Fluttershy worriedly.

“Oh Luna just said something.” I said offhandedly as I reached for a cup of punch for myself.

“Umm, Cass, Luna is not here.” Said Twilight, looking around the room for a ninja princess.

“Oh, I didn’t mention we have a telepathy thing going on?”

“NO!” Yelled Twilight as she tackled me, knocking the punch bowl over again, soaking a very angry Rarity, again.

“Why didn’t you mention this earlier?” She asked as her horn glowed and descended on my forehead.

Without thinking I grabbed her horn and twisted it away from my head, remembering all too well what happened last time somepony poked me in the head with a horn. She let out a squeal of pain and shock as I twisted her around so she was on her back on top of me.

“Umm, sugercube, what in tarnation are you doing?” Said Applejack as she peeled my hands off of her friends still glowing horn.

“Sorry, I don’t like horns near the ol’ noggin anymore, that mental link hurt when Luna made it.” I said as I released Twilight.

Flipping her back onto her feet she took a few shaky steps before she collapsed onto the bed in a heap. Worried I had seriously hurt her I rushed to her side, stopping her from falling off of the bed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“Its fine, I’m just a little dizzy, our horns are really sensitive.” She explained, sounding like she was going to puke.

“Don’ worry hun, she is partially to blame also, she did rush ya’.” Said Applejack soothingly, leaning on my leg to let me know she was there for me.

“Still doesn’t mean shit, just proves Celestia right, I am dangerous to be around.” I said, my vision blurring.

“Your safe, what she said is wrong, relax.” She said softly as she pushed me down gently next to Twilight with her hoof.

“What if I had broken her horn? Will something like that even heal?” I asked, my mind rushing at million miles per second.

“Actually breaking a unicorn’s horn is near impossible.” Said Twilight as she regained some of her composure.

“See hun, nothing to worry about, relax.” Applejack continued, stroking my face with her hoof gently.

Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly heeded her advice, un-tensing almost painfully slowly.

“Dad?” Asked Scootaloo who was standing nervously at my feet, “Are you okay?”

“I am now that you’re here!” I said as I scooped her up, tickling her on the belly, causing her to giggle and kick her hooves in the air.

Ch 17. It's Gonna be One of Those Days

It was only a short flight back to Ponyville, but with the amount of guards who were moving not only themselves but all of their gear and personal effects, it took many hours to get the slow moving convoy started. By the time we had started moving towards home, the sun had already set and the Crusaders were snoring in a pile of hooves and blankets in the back of the carriage that was assigned to us.

Sasha, who was driving our carriage, had insisted that we move out of the palace as soon as possible, going as so far to risk the anger of his wife. Lucky for us, the families of the Lunar Guards were following in the weeks to come in their own, much smaller, convoy. Sasha had explained to me earlier that the majority of the Guards, both Lunar and Solar, were single, a soldier married before he was a Sergeant of an Officer was almost unheard of, their duties just kept them too busy to do more than work.

Looking around the spartan interior of the carriage I looked over the odd, brightly colored ponies. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were talking in hushed tones on the opposite side, Fluttershy was of course blushing about something. Twilight and Rarity were absorbed in a thick tome that had the faded picture of a dress on the front, they were discussing something excitedly in quiet tones, aware of the sleeping fillies that were between them and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Applejack was vainly attempting to keep Pinkie Pie occupied by playing an obscenely complicated board game that had more moving parts and pieces that could have ever fit into the box. The saddest part, the lid of the box exclaimed it to be the ‘Travel Version’.

“YAY, your mov—” Pinkie Pie exclaimed before Applejack’s hoof flew into her mouth with blindingly fast speed, silencing her before she woke up the Crusaders.

“Ah know Pinkie, no reason to shout it!” whispered Applejack to a now blushing Pinkie Pie.

“Merperfff-ul” she sputtered around Applejack’s hoof.

I smiled, looking over to the sleeping fillies, from the way they were snoring it was apparent that the only thing on Earth that could even make them stir in their slumber was Pinkie’s infamous cannon. And even then, the gentle rocking of the carriage would put them right back to sleep.

Turning my back to the interior of the carriage I leaned out of the window, looking up and thanking Luna to think of putting a beautiful aurora in night sky, brightening the world with its greenish-purple swirls. It cast enough light that I could plainly see most the Lunar Guards and the carriage they either rode or pulled. Sasha himself was outlined against the night sky, giving an eerie illusion that a fearsome black statue was driving our carriage.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he spoke up, “Only about 3 more hours my friend, ve are makin’ good progress in this light.”

“Good! Any problems?” I asked.

“Only complaints about having to leave the prank cart behind!” he said with a chuckle, “And I do also vant to see the look on their faces as they find the booby-traps!”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” he quickly answered.

“Sasha.” I started.

“Shhh. You don’t want to disturb the driver, that old Comrade Hammer drives like a senior citizen.” he said, his teeth flashing in the light as he gave me a large cheesy grin.

“Crazy ass ponies.” I muttered darkly as I settled back into the carriage, noticing that Pinkie Pie now had a few strips of duct tape rolled around her mouth. She still looked happy as could be and was bouncing slightly in her seat, bobbing back and forth excitedly.

“That was quick.” I commented dryly.

“She bit me!” said Applejack, pointing at her accusingly.

“Bufh you tasteph goopth” Pinkie said through the duct tape.

“Just ‘cause you keep sayin’ that don’ mean it’s right to go chompin’ on my cloppers!” she replied angrily.

The carriage grew instantly quiet as everyone, myself included, attempted to not laugh. Applejack, noticing this, looked at each of us and asked, “What? What in tarnation is so funny?”

"Oh Applejack, don't worry, I will explain it when you’re older." Rarity said between fits of barely contained laughter.

“Ah’m almost a year older than you...” Applejack said dryly, still confused.

“Oh dear, perhaps you should borrow some books from Twilight then.”

Twilight squeaked, hiding herself behind her book, even going so far as to draw up her rear hoofs so that they were also partially hidden.

“Twi? What is she tal—”

“Nothing!” Twilight quickly interrupted, “The library has more than just the books that I obtained.”

“Now wha...” Applejack paused as realization dawned on her face, before continuing with a quiet, “Oh.”

The carriage was filled with laughter as we continued our slow journey through a picturesque night sky.

We arrived at Ponyville just as the sun peaked over the horizon. Every pony that was in my carriage had fallen asleep at various points during the journey, leaving me alone. I couldn’t get any sleep, the thoughts in my head were just, too excited. The last couple of weeks just kept flooding through my head. I would have paced around in the carriage if it wasn't too small to do so, and I also didn’t want to disturb Applejack, who was using my lap as a pillow.

Now if only I could keep her from drooling in her sleep.

The convoy eventually settled down in one of Applejack’s empty fields, trampling the soil back down, Big Mac was bound to be disappointed when he saw his tilled field in the morning.

Carefully moving her head off my lap and replacing it with a pillow, I slipped out into the early morning light. Pausing at the doorway, I looked back and saw her frowning as she prodded the pillow in her sleep, obviously not happy with my replacement.

“Everything okay?” asked Sasha as he stretched near the front of the simple looking carriage.

“Yeah, just wishin I didn’t have to leave. But anyways, what needs to happen?”

“Not much for you to do, ve just need to set up camp and find a good spot for us to build a barracks and until then, ve vill just set up our own little hobo village.”

“Is Luna gonna like sleepin’ in a tent for however many months it takes for a house to be built for her?”

“No, but I vas hoping she could stay vith you and the Apples.”

“Um, that might be an issue, I don’t think that they have anymore rooms in their house.”

“An’ vould it be vise to assume that your fiancée vould protest to the sharing of the bed with the princess?”

“Very.” I said dryly, walking past him towards Luna’s chariot.

“Ha, I’m sure it vill vork out, it alvays seems to.”

“Excuse me if I don’t share your faith, I prefer to solve my issues directly.”

“I’ve noticed, and that is vhy I trust that I von’t be needed!” Sasha said, chuckling.

“Why is thou not needed?” asked Luna, appearing in a relaxed pose on the top a carriage that we were passing, startling the both of us.

“Oh, Luna! We were just discussin’ the housin’ situation, I would invite you to stay with the Apples, but it’s not my place to invite nor do they have the extra rooms for the recent additions to their family.”

“Oh, did Sasha forget to mention that we hath the magic for such an occasion?”

“Yes, silly me, I must be getting that damnable old man disease.” he said with a cheeky grin. Damn sly old fart.

“Anyways, what is this spell Luna?”

“This.” she merely said as she knocked on the roof of the carriage that she was on.

The door burst open, barely missing Sasha and me, and three white ponies wearing old faded blue coveralls fell out in a heap. All three of them were identical other than their size, the earth pony dwarfing both of his brothers, the unicorn who was almost half his size, and the the pegasus who was only a little bigger than Rainbow Dash.

“Why hello there good sir, how may I be of service?” asked the unicorn, the first to recover from the spill, in a quick, slightly raspy voice.

“Not sure how, but you can start by tellin’ me your names.” I said, helping the pegasus to his feet while Sasha helped the truly massive earth pony to his.

“Well certainly my good sir, I am Square, my brother here—”

“Is old enough to say his own name,” said the pegasus abruptly, floating with his rear hoofs a few feet off the ground. “An’ my names Flush.”

“Level.” said the earth pony with a surprisingly sweet voice despite his massive size.

“And together we are the fastest, and bestest constuctorers in all of Equestria! We’re the Carpenter’s Triplets!” said Square excitedly, nodding his head causing his rust colored mane to go everywhere.

“Anything you want built, we can do it! Anywhere you need it, we can build there! And we will do it in time for suppah!” bragged Flush.

“I design, they build, you enjoy your new building, simple yes?” asked Level.

Turning to Luna, who looked like she was trying hard not to laugh at the brothers, she merely nodded at my confused look before adding.

“They are not lying, they have impressed on several occasions in the past, and we art sure that they will perform miracles here.”

“Then the issue is where will they build.”

“There better be a good reason for all this.” Came a southern drawl from the trees bordering the woods.

“Huzzah, the stallion we need has arrived!” announced Luna, standing up suddenly.

“Eeyup” Big Mac said as he stepped into the clearing, a couple of bags of seed in a cart he was pulling.

“Come, we must discuss the business!” She said leading him away.

A guard trotted up to us, stopping a few paces away and gave a sharp salute and exclaimed, “Sir!”

I hesitated for a moment before snapping a return along with Sasha, and motioned for the soldier to relax when he went to the position of attention.

“Vhat can ve help you vith Corporal?”

“A Miss Applejack has awoken and is looking for Captain Castle, sir!”

“Relax, I ain’t gonna be a hardass on the little things, I want my troops to be able to come to me at all times, no matter how small the issue.”

“Well sir...”

“Well Corporal...”

“We’ve been traveling all night, and have worked the entire day before, the other ponies are tired and hungry...”

“Good point, as soon as all the guards and carriages are accounted for, break out double rations for all the guards and set up a sleep shift system, I want two ponies per carriage awake and guarding it. Also I want the shifts short and fair.”

“Yes Sir! And thank you sir!” He said as he trotted off with the good news.

“You’re one funny looking creature, but at least you are a natural leader.” Sasha said with another chuckle.

“Good to see I amuse you.”

Applejack met us about halfway back to the carriage, there were circles under her eyes but it was obvious that she was happy to be back home in Ponyville, the smile on her face would have made Pinkie proud.

“Mornin’ hun.”

“Mornin’ Sugercube.” She said as she leaned against my leg. “But why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were just too cute to wake up, and you needed your sleep.”

She was blushing and was about to respond when Big Mac and Luna came from between two carriages, Big Mac still pulling that little cart of his, but the seeds were now sharing their space with several unmarked bags.

“Welcome back Big Mac.” I said needlessly as Applejack flew to his side, giving him a hug hard enough that I think that I heard bones cracking.

“I welcome thee neighbor.” Boomed Luna

“Neighbor?” Asked Applejack, still clinging to Big Mac’s neck as his face started turning blue.

“Why yes, we just purchased this field. Though we will have the honor of renting a room in your main house until a proper abode is constructed for us here.”

“Applejack!” Wheezed Mac.

Releasing her brother suddenly after looking at his face, she apologized, “Sorry brother, but Prin-”

“Luna” She interrupted.

“Luna,” Applejack continued, “We don’t even have a room for Scootaloo without somepony having to move into the barn.”

“Don’t you worry about that, my big brothers are fixing that!” Squeaked a little filly from behind Sasha.

“Your brothers?” asked Applejack, looking around for more hidden little ponies.

“There you are! Didn’t we tell you to not run off again?” Said Square running up to the group and scooping the little white unicorn filly up with his magic.

“Yes! But that’s why I walked!” She said, running in the air attempting to reach the ground, but only succeeding in flipping herself upside down, causing her bright blue mane to almost drag in the dirt.

Flush, zipping out of the gradually brightening sky, landed next to the trapped and floating unicorn with an angry look on his face.

“There you are! You’re in trouble now young missy.” He said, smiling slightly as he poked her, causing her to slowly do flips in the air. The young filly merely crossed her fore hooves and glared at him.

Being suddenly rammed from the air I was catapulted by a monstrously huge white streak. Falling back to the ground I was caught by Luna’s magic just before I slammed into the ground.

“There you are!” Yelled Level as he hugged the wide-eyed filly, ignoring the looks from all the other ponies. “I can’t believe that I lost you, Fortune!”

Level was rocking Fortune fast enough that it looked like he was going to make her motion sick, but she managed to maintain the same annoyed look anyways.

“Not in front of the clients please.” She protested, “I was just about to start quoting them on the costs for the additions on the Apple house, and to see exactly what they wanted!”

Luna, lowering me onto the ground, was having issues not laughing at the scene before her as all of us looked on in confusion. Pushing her way out of her brothers arms she settled on the ground in front on Applejack, pulling a small notepad and a carpenters pencil from somewhere.

“So what additions do you want to your house?”

“Umm, excuse me?”

“Oh, did I forget to mention that ‘widdle cutey putey Fortune’ here takes care of the paperwork and the maths?” asked Flush.

“Are you sure about that, she looks younger than the Crusaders. Not doubting her or anything, it just seems unlikely.” I said, dusting myself off.

“Looky here Mr. I am a mathematical virti.... virtai.”

“Virtuoso” Interjected Level quietly.

“Yeah, that. I can do math better than my three brothers and because I’m ‘too small’” She sneered, “They won’t let me help them build!”

“But it’s for your safety!” Cried Level as he scooped her up again.

“Not. In. Front. Of. The. Customers!” She said as she struggled to get out of the massive earth ponies iron grasp.

“But you’re so cute when you’re angry” Protested Flush as he ruffled her mane.

“Un-hoof me you foul heathen, I’ll make you rue this day! Rue IT!” She yelled, struggling harder.

“D’aww, she’s blushing now.” Teased Square as he pinched her cheeks, making baby noises. The little family was ignoring us at this point, Luna had lost all self control and was laughing uncontrollably along with Sasha. Big Mac and Applejack looked like they were lost in a shared memory, possibly of their own parents. And all I could do was cover my face with my hand to prevent myself from laughing at the poor little filly as well.

“A thousand ants in your potato salad!” She screamed at them, thrashing back and forth trying in vain to break her brothers grasp.

“Maybe we can get the Crusaders to show her around town?” I suggested, attempting to save her from her brothers.

“Yeah! Maybe we can get our tour-guide Cutie Marks!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle as she hung out the window of the carriage next to us.

“Or our foal-sitter marks!” Hollered Apple Bloom as she popping up next to her friend.

“And maybe we can recruit another Crusader!” Yelled Scootaloo, as she squeezed in between her two friends.

“FOAL-SITTER!” Cried Fortune in agony, “I don’t need a foal-sitter!”

“That is perfect!” Exclaimed Level, holding Fortune at arms length in front of him, she resumed her crossed hooves stare down position.

“And maybe you can make new friends in town!” Added Square.

“Or at least scrounge up more business for us!” Flush said, only to be glared at by all three of his siblings.

“What, it was just a suggestion.” He added meekly.

“Anyways, we can discuss business later, right now our priority should be breakfast.”

“OOH, FOOD!” The brothers yelled, running off towards the Apple house, leaving a large cloud of dust trailing behind them.

“What the hell did I get into” I mumbled to myself as I followed them.

Today is shaping up to be an interesting day.

Ch 18. Breakfast Antics

Arriving at the Apple house I was greeted by a scene of chaos, the three rambunctious ponies had apparently invaded the kitchen and had somehow startled Granny Smith who was defending her flapjacks from ‘them young hooligans’. The three brothers were trying their hardest to apologize to her, but she either didn’t hear them or was ignoring them as she waved her wooden spoon threatening at them.

“Granny Smith!” Yelled Applejack.

“Oh Applejack, help me wrangle these varmints outta here! They came in beggin’ me for food!”

“Ugh, not again, how did I get stuck with these three again?” Muttered Fortune under her breath.

“But all we did was ask for a couple!” Protested Flush.

“Do I look like a restaurant?”

“No, but we will give you a discount on the improvements to your home!” Begged Square.

“No, we won’t,” Fortune muttered again.

“We will even renovate a barn or two if you just feed us some of those delicious smelling flapjacks!” The huge Earth pony was on his knees begging her.

“We’re doing what for free?” Fortune objected loudly.

“Do not worry young one, I will be covering all expenses, I do have a thousand years worth of salary to spend.” Luna joked as she walked into the kitchen, causing Granny Smith to flop herself into a deep bow far quicker than I thought possible for a pony her age.

“Stand elder, I do not wish for you to bow to me, while it is flattering, I simply want to sample some of these ‘flapjacks’.”

“But Princess—” Started Granny Smith.

“Luna, just Luna.”

“Don’t interrupt me young whippersnapper! As I was saying, surely you don’t want some farm food, your fancy chefs probably cook better!”

“Don’t sell yourself short Granny! You cook the best flapjack in all of Equestria!” Piped up Apple Bloom as she settled into her usual seat at the table.

“Don’t worry Granny, I’ll help ya cook.” Said Applejack gently as she took the wooden spoon from her.

“Oh fine! I guess I will cook for you ruffians, but we are out of room in the kitchen, so SHOO!” She said making waving gestures with her hooves towards the door.

“But hey! Me and Scoots live here too!” I protested as she herded me with the rest.

“Scoots?” She asked, confused.

“Yeah, me and Applejack kinda adopted Scootaloo.”

“Kinda? How do you ‘kinda’ adopt me?” She said with a pout that could melt the arctic ice caps.

“You an’ Applejack? Is there something I need to know?” Asked Granny Smith as she still shuffled me towards the door.

“Um, yes...” Began Applejack.

“Well go on?” She asked skeptically, pausing for a moment.

“I’m kinda engaged now. I was meaning to tell ya later, in private.” She said nervously, rubbing her hooves together, with a bright blush spreading across her face.

“Engaged?! To Cass?!” She hollered.

“But Granny—” She started to protest.

“Don’t ‘but Granny’ me youngin’, why didn’t you tell me earlier! This here is the best news I’ve had since they done replaced my hip!” She hollered happily.

Applejack smiled at her grandmother's enthusiastic response, though it looked to me like she was still worried about something. Granny Smith, now distracted by happiness, went over and started cooking up a large stack of flapjacks, happily humming some old forgotten song to herself as she worked. Sliding up next to Applejack I leaned down to whisper privately into her ear.

“What’s wrong? And don’t even try to tell me everything’s fine, you’re a horrible liar and we both know it.”

“Ah’m worried what Big Mac will say, he ain’t always been the greatest of fans of ya.”

“Tell me about it, I think he actually broke one of my ribs.”

“Oh, you mean this one!” She said playfully as she poked me gently.

“And I thought Big Mac was the mean one.” I teased back as I tickled her neck, causing her to giggle.

“Perhaps thou would like to get a room before thee, proceeds...” Luna said.

With a blush we quickly stepped apart, like two teenagers caught kissing by their parents we both mumbled apologies and sat quickly at the table next to each other.

Granny Smith, who was completely oblivious to what had just happened, came over depositing plates heaped high with flapjacks in front of everypony at the table, and with a smile she patted Applejack on her head and said.

“You make me so proud, now if only your mother could see you now, she would be giddy with happiness.” The old pony continued rambling to herself as she went back to cooking more flapjacks for the three ponies who were ‘patiently’ waiting by the window, following her every move with their eyes. You would think that they had never seen food before in their lives.

“What about me?!” Protested Fortune, who was too short to even look up onto the table fully without standing in the seat.

“Oh, I didn’t even see you dear, here have an extra large plate, you need to eat more if you wanna grow up big and strong.” Granny Smith said as she put down a plate piled high with a stack of flapjacks bigger than the little filly.

“Umm, thank you.” she said hesitantly, peaking around the stack at the rest of the table.

“An just don’t think I’m gonna let you leave, you gotta clear your plate first young missy!” Called Granny Smith as she went back to cooking.

I felt I tapping on my knee and looked down to see that Fortune was kicking it, “Help me please!” She whispered.

With a chuckle I grabbed the top few pancakes and flung them out the window, where the three brothers all caught them with their mouths like dogs catching frisbees. The three brothers quickly gobbled them up with great pleasure and then resumed their position underneath the window. Looking back at Granny Smith I saw that she was still completely oblivious to the clandestine happenings behind her. Grabbing another couple I put them on a plate and slide it out the still open door where Sasha scooped it up and disappeared around the corner with it, his smile taking up the majority of his face.

The stack in front of Fortune was now a more manageable size for the small filly, I turned back to my stack in front of me only to catch Applejack as she speared one of mine and stole it with a sly grin.

“Hey! That was mine!” I protested.

“Nope, see, it’s on my plate.” She said as she spread maple syrup all over it and started cutting it into bit sized chunks.

Reaching around her I tapped her on the opposite shoulder, and when she looked in the direction, I grabbed her plate and swapped it with mine. Applejack, turning to face her plate again, stabbed at her plate without looking and was rewarded with a ‘clink’ as it bounced off of it. Startled she looked down then over at my plate.

“See, it’s on my plate.” I teased, taking a bite of the pancake with great gusto.

“Well, seein’ how breakfast is over,” she said, collecting both of our plates before I could grab it back, trotted over to the sink and deposited them there, “Let’s talk business, what improvements are you doin’ to my house exactly? And how much are they gonna cost me?”

Fortune, looking up from her plate, maple syrup covering her face, and said with delight in her voice, “Oh, don’t worry, I got it all figured out for you!” As she tried to hide her smug grin behind a hoof.

Ch 19. Housing Hijinks

Reaching into her saddle bags, Fortune pulled out a long checklist that could rival that of Twilight. She started rattling off random numbers while chewing on the end of her quill, concentrating on it while leaving me in the dust as to what it all meant. The three brothers who were outside the window almost instantly fell asleep in a heap, I’m guessing it happened enough that it was just a natural instinct to do so. Looking over to Applejack I saw a glazed over look in her eyes, the numbers apparently coming to fast for her too.

“....and the total cost will come to a hundred thousand bits!” she finally finished after what seemed like hours.

I could hear Applejack’s jaw bounce off the table in surprise at the cost. Luna who had been sipping on some orange juice, spit it across the table, covering me and Applejack in the sticky liquid. We all turned to stare at the young filly as she looked at us in confusion.

“What? It’s a fair cost!” she protested, “Do you expect me to build the Princess’s new home from shoddy materials?”

“Just Luna, please.” Luna said for what seemed the hundredth time. “And are these costs for just the Apple house or also the new barracks and such for the guards?”

“Well yes, it’s for both the Apple house and the guards, I thought I clearly said that earlier, were any of you even paying attention?”

“Sorry sugarcube, but you’re talkin’ to the wrong pony with your fancy mathematics. Big Mac is the one who is good at it all.”

“And I have no excuse, but yeah, you lost me early on.” I admitted.

The little filly, in despair, threw her forehooves into the air in exasperation, but coming from such a small little pony I had to suppress the urge to laugh at her cuteness. Applejack and Luna unfortunately didn’t have the self control that I had and were soon laughing at her.

“Maybe these will help!” she said, getting angrier, and in turn, cuter, as she pulled out a detailed looking blueprint and flung it across the table, covering all of the table and having some of it hang off the edges like a tablecloth. Gazing at the complex and detailed drawing I could barely make top or bottom of the blueprint, most of the drawing and symbols looking like plain old gibberish to me. Looking across at Luna and Applejack I could see that they were both also confused in the meaning of the drawing.

“Umm, Fortune, I’m just a simple soldier, the most complex thing I’ve ever built was a doghouse, and even then it was still crooked, all this is way beyond me.” I said, gesturing at the blueprints.

“Ugh,” she moaned into her hooves, “FLUSH!” she yelled after a moment.

Her eldest brother, unburied himself from his siblings with a dazed look on his face, and stumbled half asleep into the kitchen where he plopped down next to her.

“Do you still have that drawing of the house you three made?”

Flush, snapping instantly awake, nodded quickly and reached into one of his many pockets to pull out a dirty stained napkin. Laying it flat on the table he revealed a simplistic drawing made with crayon showing a group of happy looking stick ponies standing in front of a large house that looked vaguely like the Apple’s home. Next to it was a dotted line showing the additions.

“Now that deserves to be put on the fridge!” exclaimed Granny Smith, appearing from nowhere and scaring Fortune.

There was a brief struggle as Fortune tried to wrestle the drawing from Granny Smith but the elder pony eventually put the picture high up on the fridge, way out of the little fillies grasp. Fortune, all the while giving everyone else in the room a death glare as we all tried our hardest not to laugh at her.

“You’re soooo cute when you’re angry!” exclaimed Flush as he hugged his little sister again.

“You better sleep with one eye open tonight, I will get my revenge!” she yelled, getting red in the face in embarrassment, “You will all wake up with itchy powder bombs strapped to your heinies!”

“Aww, she said heiney.” Flush continued, oblivious to her threats.

“Perhaps thou would like to go into town with the Crusaders and find a proper proprietor of supplies. It would also be a good way to become better friends with the Crusaders.” stated Luna, who was clearly having a hard time holding herself back from hugging the little filly along with Flush.

“Yeah, that sounds good, and maybe you can convince my brothers to start building now instead of sleeping so we can stay on schedule.” she muttered darkly as she squirmed her way out of her brothers arms, landing on the floor with a thud.

“Perhaps the Crusaders can earn their Cutie Marks for helping you.” I mention, and as if on cue the three young fillies popped out of random points in the room, big smiles on their faces.

“Aw poopie.” Fortune barely got out as they dragged her out the door, kicking and screaming all the way.

“Should we save her?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Nah, it’ll be good for her to get more friends closer to her age.” said Square seriously from outside the window.

“She is too serious for her age, we try to be goofy and act more like ponies her age would act but she just seems to rebel and become more serious.” continued Level.

“I wish she would just act her age, she worries me. It ain’t healthy for her to be worried about as much as she does. And I know that she will miss the opportunity to be a child when she’s older.” Flush said sourly as he looked at the childish drawing on the fridge.

“All I ask is that you allow her to live a real childhood here, treat her like her age and less like her employers.”

“Wait, what?” I sputtered, surprised by their sudden change of attitude. “What would she think if she were to find out that you were treating her like that behind her back?”

“It would not bode well for our health. Despite her size and age she is a more than capable magician.” whispered Level with a shudder.

“Ah, come on now ya’ll, how dangerous could a little filly like her be?” asked Applejack innocently.

“She turned us into potted plants for a week.” they said in unison.

“Though she only did it by accident and she had help from her teacher.” added Flush.

“Her teacher helped her with that? Thy teaching methods have changed a lot in the last thousand years.” Luna said, almost sounding disappointed.

“Not knowingly, he thought that they were performing a much more benign spell.” Square continued, with a small shake of his head. “And she also somehow used all of his magic in the use of the spell so we had to call in another unicorn from another city to transform us back. Gods that was a horrible week.”

“At least you were an interesting plant, I was a tree, you know how boring a tree is?” Level demanded.

“Yeah, as if a cactus is much different!” argued Flush.

“I would’ve given my right hoof to be something that they wouldn’t have eaten, you know how much it sucked to be a dandilion, everypony we passed looked like they wanted a bite of me!” Square argued back, growing angrier.

Seeking to derail the argument before it got heated and I was forced to call their little sister back to straighten them out, I asked, “So.... Who transformed you back to your current forms?”

Square, snapping to look at my face, having apparently forgotten that they were not alone, said, “Oh, Princess Celestia had to fix us fully, her student came by to do the job at first but only succeeded in transforming us into the wrong ponies. Had to send the neighbors to the palace because she collapsed muttering something about being sent back to magic kindergarten.”

“It was nice to have wings though.” muttered Level.

“Heck no!” protested Flush, holding his wings defensively, “Having a horn felt icky, I had to take sooooo many baths to finally feel clean again.”

“Hey! My horn is not ‘Icky’ it’s awesome!” Square retorted, levitating several objects around the room, sending them floating everywhere.

I was about to derail another argument when Luna spoke up, obviously thinking the same.

“Shouldn’t thou be working on the additions now? A young little filly needs a room to move into.”

“New room for what filly?” asked Applejack.

“Ummm.... Scootaloo will probably be living here now, us being her parents and all.”

“Ah know that, Ah just thought she would live in your current room.”

“And I would move to?”

“We are engaged, remember? Though you still owe me a ring.” she teased as she poked me in the arm.

Blushing hard, I began to mentally sort through the complications that I hadn’t really thought out. I was madly in love with Applejack, but it wasn't a sexual attraction. Heck I found little about her pony form sexually attractive. What kind of finance didn’t want to bang the lights out of his wife-to-be?

Applejack, took note of the look on my face. Punching me in the arm with a hoof, “Not like that! Just in case you have more nightmares!” she said with a blush on her face to match my own.

“Nightmares?” interrupted Luna.

I let out a long annoyed sigh, although I was glad to be on a different subject, “Yeah, I’ve been having them on and off for years, they’ve always gotten worse when I’m back in garrison or home on leave. Most of the time while deployed I’m too tired to do anything other than just pass out. Since coming here they’ve gotten worse than they ever were. I swear, I almost physically felt that last one.”

“Maybe thou would not protest to letting me view your dreams, perhaps we can help alleviate some of the burden.” Luna offered.

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want anyone diggin’ through my head anymore. I remember the last time you did something similar all too well.”

“I am the Princess of the Night! Dreams, both good and bad, are as much a part of my realm as the night sky. I can view them without even casting a spell on thy’s mind, and while I can see all, thou would not perceive me.” she said with a hint of pride.

“Maybe you should let her sugarcube, any little thing that she could do to help would be a step in the right direction. Your mind is haunting you with horrible things, I’m sure with time I would be able to help you plenty but Ah don’t want to see you hurt like that ever again.”

“And thou would perhaps finally find peace in the night if I am able to eliminate the negative dream aura that surrounds you like a dark cloud of pestilence. Just looking at you with my inner eye fills me with fear for your own sanity.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Just tell me what you need me to do.” I sighed.

“Just fall asleep as normal, I will take care of everything else.” Luna quickly responded.

“Sleep will be easy tonight too, we got a lot to do today, including picking up all of Scootaloo’s belongings from the orphanage...”

“Do we even know which orphanage?”

“Surely there can’t be that many, thou live in a small peaceful town.”

“Ah can only think of the Whitetail Hall that’s on the other side of town.”

“Well let’s go then, the sooner the better, and imagine Scoots’ surprise when she comes back to a room of her own.” I said enthusiastically.

“Oh, and maybe you can let us decorate it for her! We would love to have the opportunity to help the little filly adjust to her new home. We, of all ponies know how hard it is to come into an unknown home!” Luna said, nearly bouncing in her chair with excitement, clapping her hooves together with high pitched squees.

“Umm, just please remember that she’s not into the whole dark gothic moon theme.” I added tactfully.

“Oh, why do all the ponies always think that the moon is all dark? The full moon is a beautiful thing, and it can light the sky just as well as the sun, giving the world a beautiful half light beauty unsurpassed by my sister’s blinding light and scorching hot days.”

“If you believe you can do it, Ah believe in ya Princess!”

“Hell, why not, I’m sure it couldn't be that bad.” I teased.

“Huzzah, the room shall be doubled in the funs!”

“Anyways, we need to get goin’ here soon. I want to get her room done before she gets back, kinda ruins the surprise if she shows up halfway through.”

“And shoo, I need time to work the magics with the room!” Luna said, motioning with her hooves for us to get lost.

“Alright, we get it, we’re on our way” I said as we got up to leave the kitchen.

Stepping outside into the bright sunlight, we had gotten a good distance down the walk way into town when Luna popped out of the second story window, yelling at us and waving her arms like a mad pony.

Looking at each other in confusion, I sprinted back to the house, fearing the worst. Bounding up the stairs in threes I narrowly missed running over the Princess. Grabbing her by the shoulders, I demanded in a overly loud voice as I shook her back and forth.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Luna, surprised by my ability to get to her so quickly, only squeaked in wide-eyed terror as I shook her.

“What is the problem?” I demanded, yelling again.

“I-I, didn’t know whose bedroom was whom’s” she gasped out.

“Oh.”

“Umm, Cass?” gasped Applejack as she came up behind me, “You’re still shaking her.”

“Oh, sorry Luna,” I said as I set her down gently.

“Perhaps mine sister was right, you are scary!” she teased, regaining enough composure to joke.

“Anyways Princess...” Applejack started as she pushed past me, gently moving my leg out of the way.

“Please, just Luna!” the dark alicorn demanded.

Applejack, was stunned a little at the interruption. After taking a second to compose herself, she continued.

“Anyways, Luna, the first room on the right is Big Mac’s, next to that is Granny Smith’s, after that is Apple Bloom’s. One the left, the first is the upstairs bathroom, then my room, well our room now.” She added blushing a little, “And the last room on the left will be Scootaloo’s.”

“And since I’m up here, I might as well move what little junk I have over to our room.” I added.

As I headed into what used to be my room, I could hear Luna and Applejack start up a shaky conversation. Grabbing the random gear strewn around the room I shoved it all into my rucksack, and hoisted the heavy thing up over my shoulder onto my back with a grunt. Carrying the ruck into my new room, I dumped everything out in the corner of the room before putting it back onto my back. Leaving the room Applejack gave me a questioning look.

“Figured I could probably just carry everything in here, save us the trouble of trying to find a cart.” I said matter of factly with a shrug.

“Ah, well let’s go, we got a daughter to surprise!”

“And perhaps we can throw her a surprise tea party too! The huzzahs of fun would be bountiful!” Luna added, bouncing once again.

Note to self, giving the princess coffee will most definitely be detrimental to all of our health.

Ch 21. The Doghouse Blues

Sitting in front of the simple red doghouse that actually reminded me a lot of Snoopy’s from the old comics, I had a perfect view of the surrounding orchards and the road leading to the house. Sitting in the calm twilight as the sun creeped closer to the distant horizon lulled me off to an easy sleep. The sounds of the orchard mixing with the soft noises of Luna and Applejack talking up in Scootaloo’s room providing more than an adequate lullabye.

“Squeak, squeak, squeak.”

Shifting to my side I ignored the noise, probably just some squeaky window or door somewhere.

“Squeak, squeak.........Squee squee squee squee squee squee.”

“The fuck is that?” I said, leaning up and opening my eyes, looking for the very annoying noise as it approached me.

Looking at the distant hill I saw an orange streak chasing a green and red streak down the hill. As the first two dots disappeared somewhere at the bottom of the hill, I saw a white and yellow dot standing at the top of the hill. As the first two dots, one of which I could tell was a cart with a bush on top, and the other Scootaloo, appeared on the second hill, still in a close race. The other two, who I could only assume to be Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, started chasing the cart also, but were at a huge disadvantage already.

Getting up and running down the road to hopefully help them catch the cart before it crashed, a sudden thought froze my blood. Where was Fortune?

Sprinting down the road with much more speed than I thought possible I crested the small hill in front of me to see the cart rapidly approaching me. On top of the bush on the cart, holding on for dear life was Fortune, frozen in fear, tears streaming behind her leaving a glittering mist.

Positioning myself just on the side of the road, readied myself, crouching low, and holding my hands out in front of me, flexing my fingers slowly as the cart sped closer and closer. A part of my brain told me that I could hear Scootaloo yelling something, but I didn’t process any of it, all of my attention focusing on that one split second. As the cart got to be about 10 feet from me, time seeming to slow to a crawl, I sprang into action, I snatched Fortune off of the cart as it sped by, leaving me spinning around a few times like a top due to her momentum.

Looking back down the road, I saw the cart swerve as it hit a rock in the road, careening into the ditch that ran alongside the it, before launching itself into the orchard where it disappeared from sight. After a few tense moments, the sound of a mighty crunch echoed out across the surrounding area. I assumed that some unfortunate tree had ‘jumped’ into the path of the runaway cart.The sound was sure to startle Fluttershy clear across town.

Looking down at Fortune, I saw she still held the cart’s little black metal handle. Her grip, made stronger by magic, had wrapped the metal around her hooves as if it were a string. I could feel her heartbeat in her chest, faster than any machine gun I had ever seen. I felt a warm, liquid spreading across my chest and down my lap, hoisting her up, I looked hard for the bleeding spot, only to see that she had merely pissed herself. Thank god for small miracles.

Scootaloo, who was panting in front of me, dripping in sweat, looked no less scared. She looked at me with a facial expression I couldn’t understand, something in her eyes scared me further.

Taking my jacket off and wrapping Fortune up in it, I rocked her softly, humming an old tune my mother used to hum to me and my sister when we frightened ourselves when we were little, I slowly calmed her down a little. Her eyes closed a little from the wide stare into oblivion, and her horn stopped gripping the handle so hard, which merely fell to pieces on to the ground. She started shivering after that and crying, a silent cry that I had seen far too often on the battlefield as soldiers experienced hell for the first time.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom came zipping over the hilltop and nearly tackled me, both of them crying and speaking gibberish loudly. Kneeling down I gathered the three crusaders under my free arm and carried all of the frightened fillies towards the house. Everyone was gathered on the porch, looking hard for the cause of the rackett, and when they saw me they all rushed forward, except Granny Smith, who had a hard time getting down the stairs, and each helped me comfort the fillies.

The three construction ponies took Fortune and gathered her into a big family hug, a sea of blue coveralls with a tan core, as they comforted her, whispering into her ears and stroking her mane. Applejack, Big Mac, and Granny Smith, when she arrived, had scooped up Apple Bloom, who had at that point started crying so hard she was hiccuping, and Sweetie Belle, who was strangely silent, was just staring at the orchard as if there were monsters in there.

I had held onto Scootaloo and Luna had came over to try her hardest to comfort her, with a few mental suggestions that were more gestures than they were coherent words, she started stroking her mane and rubbing her wings, which had shot out rigidly sometime during the race. She was looking down at the ground refusing to meet my gaze and whispering something frantically, over and over again, like a chant.

Leaning down, my eyes shot wide open as I heard what she was saying.

“They’re sending me back. They’re sending me back. They’re sendi- ” She stopped as I bopped her on the nose lightly. Her head shot up in surprise and she stared straight into my face with eyes that would forever haunt me, her tears running freely down her face.

“I sorry, I promise I’ll do better, just don’t se—”

“Stop!” I commanded, loudly, the other grown-up ponies glancing at me before returning to the fillies they were desperately trying to calm down. Softer, I continued, “I would never even think about sending you back, for anything! I don’t ever want you thinking that ever again. I would give both my legs and arm just to keep you here, safe and happy, never forget that, cause I know I won’t.”

“Pinkie promise?”

“Always.” I said, holding out my hand with the pinkie extended.

She looked at it blankly for a moment, before taking her left wing and flexing it around her body, extending one of her feathers towards my finger. Moving my hand closer I wrapped it around her feather, while headbutting her lightly, big smile on my face as I saw the horror in her eyes drain away, leaving only sheer joy.

“Tis time for the hot chocolate, no?” Luna whispered into my ear.

I merely nodded as I herded the other groups towards the house.

“And something a little stronger too, I think I tore something.”

Sitting around the table, which was buried under a labyrinth of cookie plates and glasses full of milk. Fortune was still surrounded by her brothers, but was dripping wet and wrapped in a large pink fluffy towel. The other Crusaders sat interspersed amongst the adults, only barely touching the cookies. The room was utterly silent except for the sound of a heavy rain that had moved in while Fortune had been in the bath.

Luna, who had surprised us all by baking so many cookies so quickly, was in the other room, starting a fire in the fireplace to chase the sudden chill from the home. I had initially volunteered to do so, but she had insisted I had to stay to comfort Scootaloo if she grew fearful of her future again.

“So.” I began, the sudden break of silence startling everypony, “just to knock any further fears out of the air, no one is in trouble, I’m just glad everyone is safe and in here enjoying such wonderful cookies.” And to emphasize my statement, I grabbed one of the large cookies off of Scootaloo’s plate and bit into it, but it’s taste didn’t really register in my mind.

“But I almost died!” Fortune squeaked out, her voice being far too many octaves to be normal. Her brothers almost instantly scooping her up into the upteenth hug in the last hour.

“But ya didn’t, an’ that’s what matters. If we’d all live in the what-if’s of life, we’d get nowhere.” Applejack said softly, hugging Apple Bloom with one of her forehooves.

“I just don’t get what went wrong!” Scootaloo exclaimed, breaking into sobs again, “We’ve taken the cart down that road so many times, and we’ve never seen it go that fast, even when we were trying to get our racing cutie marks! It was all my fault, I let the cart run me over instead of stopping it.”

Grabbing Scootaloo, I pulled her closer, off of her own chair and onto my lap, where I held her like a baby, with all four of her hooves in the air and her wings poking out between my elbow and chest. After I wiped her tears away with my thumb, I bopped her on the nose the the cookie I had stolen, she gratefully took it between her forehooves and started munching on it quietly.

“It was almost like as if Applejack and Big Mac both bucked it with all their force at the same time.” Apple Bloom said quietly.

“Changelings.” Sweetie Belle responded shakely.

“Nope, can’t be.” Big Mac said resolutely.

Looking at Sweetie Belle, who meet my gaze unflinchingly, I asked, “Are you one hundred percent sure?”

She nodded her head, “The last time I felt sticky magic like that was at the Canterlot wedding.”

Thinking for a moment, I slowly nodded my head. Standing up, I reached for a plate of cookies, only to be halted as my arm twinged in pain. Luna had tried to heal the wound, but all she had succeeded in doing so far was to keep the swelling down. Tilting my torso at the waist, I scooped up the plate and walked into the living room, where I sat Scootaloo down on the couch, and handed her the plate. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom walked into the room with Applejack and Big Mac. The two other Crusaders set of either side of Scootaloo and shared cookies off of her plate.

Noticing the definite chill in the room, despite the decent sized fire Luna had going, I grabbed a blanket and wrapped the three of them in it. Fortune, who was carried in by her brothers, simply relented to being cuddled by the three of them. Her usual, loud and boisterous attitude subdued. The brothers were surely very worried, but they didn’t show it infront of her at all, comforting her anyway possible.

Leaning down, I whispered to the girls, “I’ll be right back, I just gotta go do some things, don’t ya worry about a thing, and is there anything you want me to tell Rarity, Sweetie Belle?”

“I want her here.” she said quietly.

Nodding slowly, I crossed the room and grabbed Luna and Applejack, leading them upstairs to Applejack’s room. Once in her room, I quietly closed the door and crouched down to my pile of gear.

“Luna, I want you to send a message to Sasha. I want the guards out in the town, in groups no smaller than squads, making regular patrols helping anypony they can with this heavy storm and I also want them to report any activity that is even remotely suspicious. Can you also message your sister and warn her there may have been a changeling sighting here in Ponyville, but keep it quiet, last thing we need is a panic.”

Luna’s horn glowed for a moment before she nodded.

“Applejack.”

“Yeah, sugarcube?”

“I want you to keep everyone in this house, I want no one entering or leaving while I am gone. I’ll send Rarity under the escort of a couple of guards later.”

"What will you be doing?” asked Applejack while I threw on my bullet-proof vest. “What I do best. Recon.” I said, standing up, rifle in hand, all my gear attached to the vest in its confusing but instantly, comfortably, familiar way.

“Is that thine war gear?” asked Luna.

“Yeah, remember, no one but me, Rarity and the guards who come with her, no one else.” I warned as I left the room.

“Stay safe!” Applejack called after me.

Turning around, I held out my arms while still walking backwards, “What’s the worse that could happen?”

Standing outside of Rarity’s boutique was absolutely miserable. The three guard ponies behind me blended into the darkness with their dark coat and armor, but I could tell that the cold and wet felt just as miserable to them as it was to me.

Pounding on her door again, I could hear her sigh loudly before calling out, “I heard you the first time, and as I said, I’m coming!”

A light flickered on in the room on the other side of the door, shining a promising warmth on me and the guards. Only to leave us wanting as Rarity didn’t open the door, she didn’t even go as far to peek out the window to see who it was.

With a sigh, I put on the best feminine voice I had and called out, “Oh no, my dress is just positively getting ruined, how will I ever find my true love wearing a ruined dress made by Rarity?”

The door, on cue of course, slammed open, revealing a panicking Rarity, who was looking for her lovesick damsel, but when she saw me her eyes narrowed.

“That was a dirty trick, Mr. Cass. You had me worried about somepony who doesn’t exist!”

“Sorry Rarity,” I stopped, realizing I was still speaking with the damsel voice, I coughed a few times to clear it out, “Sorry Rarity, but we need to talk.”

Her eyes shot open, her mouth making little chewing like motions as she searched for words for a moment before finally saying, “It’s the Crusaders, isn’t it?”

“Yes, may we come in out of this rain before we become sick?”

Rarity nodded weakly as she collapsed on her rump. Stepping into the house, I looked around the immaculate house, and then down at my boots, which were soaked with mud. Staying on the stepping mat right in front of the door, I quickly unlaced my boots and stepped out of them, leaving them by the door as I lead Rarity by the hoof into the kitchen.

“What did they do now? Go chasing another one of Fluttershy’s chickens into the Everfree Forest?” she asked after I helped her into a chair.

“Nope, when they were pushing a cart back to the farm, they lost control of it. Fortune was riding on top, and if I hadn’t been there to scoop her up when I did....” I ended my sentence there, unsure how to say anymore.

“But they are all safe, right?” she pressed on.

“Shaken, but yeah, all good. Sweetie Belle actually asked for you to come down to the farm tonight.” I said as I leaned against the counter, careful to not knock anything off of the counter with my rifle.

Rarity looked out the window at the lightning streaked sky, and shuddered, probably worrying about her mane or tail.

“I hope Fluttershy is okay, she’s always been afraid of lightning and thunder.” Or not, “But give me just a moment, I’ll be ready as soon as I can.”

Before she left the room I stopped her, “Rarity, Sweetie Belle also thinks there might have been a changeling involved.”

Rarity damn near rammed her head into the door as she stopped and whipped around, sputtering.

Holding up my hands, I continued, “I know, I know, but I’m willing to believe her. Something about how she said it makes it certain to me that she’s telling the truth. I want you to go with those guard ponies that came with me and go straight to Applejack’s house, Sweetie Belle needs you and that’s the only important thing. Me and the other guards are patrolling and searching the area, so it’s going to be a quiet night, I guarantee it.”

Rarity was frozen for a moment, before running out of the room, surprising the guard as she rushed out of the door, only to be yanked short by her tail, firmly held in my grasp.

“Easy now, showing up there not like yourself will probably freak out your sis more than anything else. Take your time, she’s perfectly safe and will be just as safe when you get there.”

Rarity struggled for a moment longer before blushing and walking back into her showroom.

“Thank you, Mr. Cass, I lost myself there for a moment, I’ll prepare quickly and then head straight there!” she vowed as she ran to grab some rain clothes for herself. Walking back to my boots, I slipped them back on and re-tied them.

Looking back as I stepped out of the house, I could only laugh as she sat there, surrounded by hundreds of umbrellas, debating which ones went better with her boots.

Damn that pony has no sense of moderation.

Jogging back into the small campsite I was pleased to see other than the few ponies who were guarding the site, it was completely empty, the other guards out searching. Reaching the command tent, I threw open the flap and stepped into the warmth the small stove in the corner provided.

Sasha, who was sitting in a uncomfortable looking field chair, laughed as I held my hands over the stove, starting a stream of sizzling as the water dripped off of me onto the hot metal.

“Don’t you vish you had fur now? HA!”

“Rather be cold than smell like a wet old salty dog.”

“Vho are you calling old? I be in my prime, barely a year past a thousand and forty!” he bragged.

“What?” I said, shooting up and turning to look at the smiling guard as he simply twirled his hammer around a hoof by the leather string attached to the handle.

“Nothing, anyways, the guards are out, and I had the unicorns cast waterproofing spells on their fellow guards.”

“Really? Waterproofing spells, wish someone told me about those before I got soaked.”

“Funnier this way, and vhen they see you embracing the suck, it vill motivate them.”

“So in other words, you wanted to laugh at your senior officer.”

With a evil grin, he hit the pole next to him, causing the whole tent to shift slightly, opening a gap around the exhaust pipe for the stove in the heavy canvas right above my head, dumping more cold water all over me.

While he was laughing as I strangled him, a younger looking guard nervously pushed his way into the tent and cleared his throat quietly. Me, being too distracted by the sheer fun of wrestling the cup of steaming hot coffee away from Sasha, didn’t notice him until Sasha broke my grip suddenly, sending the cup flying.

“Sir, I appreciate the offer, but I like a lump of sugar with my coffee.” the guard said flatly.

“Oh, my apologies, what did you come in here to say?” I asked, giving Sasha one last thump to the back of the head.

“We have gotten preliminary reports from all squads out on patrol, all clear, except for the two patrols that went out towards the Everfree and the one squad that went into the Apple’s orchard.”

“Any reason they wouldn’t answer?”

“Death or capture.” he said unblinking.

“Let’s not think like that, I’ll go see if I can find them, and thank you. Sasha here, since he spilt his coffee on you, will take your post, enjoy the tent for a while.” I said as I left the tent, chuckling, as Sasha shook his hoof at me.

Stopping right outside the tent, I saw it had stopped raining, but the thunder and lightning had picked up pace, lighting the sky with an eerie glow that lasted far too long.

“Even the weather agrees, something is wrong.” I said to no one in particular.

Arriving at the edge of the orchard, I saw where the guards had entered it. The small section of fence had the boards removed to allow easy access into the orchards. Walking through the gap, I followed the line of hoof-marks in front of me, every now and then I would see a broken branch or apple they had accidentally knocked into. Holding my rifle steadily ready, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched.

Up ahead in a clearing I saw a mighty apple tree with a heap at the bottom of it. I rushed to it, fearing the worst as I knelt next to it, grabbing the rough fabric and turning the object over, revealing an oozing broken mass.

Thank god, it was only the supply cart that the Crusaders had been pushing earlier. The fancy chocolates had been smashed into the candles and the picnic basket had disintegrated. Looking up, I saw the metal cart, embedded in the tree a good couple of inches. Looking closer, I noticed a pair of hoof-prints dented into the back of the thick metal of the cart.

“Sweetie Belle was right, the cart was pushed, hard to to cause that kinda denting.” I commented, fingering the metal.

Crouching back down, I looked for more tracks from my guards, but only found that they too, had found the cart and had set up a defensive circle around it. I could see the tracks leading up to where they stood and I could see the deeper indentations from where they had stood in those spots for what had to be a couple of minutes, but after that, it seem like they had simply disappeared.

With a sigh, I keyed the radio on my chest rig to talk to Sasha, who had the other radio, but stopped with my mouth open. Something was wrong, it was too silent. Even the thunder seemed muted, as if something was muffling the noise.

Releasing the radio, I crept quietly into the shadows of the trees, kneeling down and making myself near invisible in the darkness as a group of black pony things crept down from trees on the opposite side of the orchard, completely silent.

Raising my rifle, I thumbed the safety selector from safe to fire, the mechanism making no noise. With a smile, I figured it out, they were using some sort of area muffle spell, which not only affected them, but me. Either that or I had finally lost the last of my hearing.

“Halt where you are and identify yourselves now!” I yelled out, forcing myself to be louder to overcome their spell.

The other things collapsed onto the ground in heaps of blackness that melted and scooted away from the clearing. As one of them shot by the tree I was behind, I reached out and hit it hard with my rifle, halting it on the spot as it transformed back into a pony like thing. Waiting a few minutes to see if his buddies would come back, I dragged the thing into the clearing and tied it to the tree using the rope that used to hold the supplies on the cart.

After it was securely tied to the tree, I tapped it’s face slightly, causing it to stir in pain.

“So, who and what are you.”

The creature, looking blearily at me, took a few moments before his eyes rapidly focused on me and it hissed at me like a cat. Grabbing a candle from the wreckage I shoved it into it’s mouth, and held it there until it stopped struggling.

“I don’t speak cat, so how about we have a civil conversation and I won’t force you to eat this candle.”

The thing nodded slowly, so I took the candle out of it’s mouth, but kept it ready if I needed to re-insert it.

“So, who are you and have you seen my guards?” I asked again.

“I am Sleeps-With-Trees, and yes I have, your pathetic little guards are making a good snack for our queen before the main course!” he yelled, spraying spit all over my face.

“Geez, say it don’t spray it. Do they even teach manners anymore?” I asked calmly as I wiped my face off.

“Be calm while you can, Thing! For the Great Feeding is coming! The Time of Hunger will end, and our people will be whole again! And soon, my comrades will come to free me from this useless restraint and will add you to the appetizer that’s being given to the queen!” He yelled fanatically, more spit flying everywhere.

Shoving the candle back into his mouth, I stood back up, looking around the clearing again.

“This is a waste of time!” I thought to myself bitterly.

“Cass!” Luna’s voice shot out of the dark, startling me, until I realized it was our mental link.

“Cass!” she cried again.

“Yes Luna, everything okay at the house?”

“Yes, Rarity and Applejack are telling stories to both the young Crusaders and the construction ponies, but that is not the issue we wish to be made known.”

I paused, trying to wrap my mind around the contorted sentence. “What?”

“Look to the Everfree, correct us if we be wrong, but lightning should not strike like that!”

Looking to where she indicated, I saw she was right, the lightning seemed like it was repeatedly striking the same spot over and over again. Now I had my lead.

“Thanks Luna.” I thought as I turned back to my prisoner, only to discover it gone.

Rushing over, I saw the ropes were still tied. Wondering how it got out, I nearly smacked myself in the forehead. I had just watched it turn into a puddle earlier, and ropes can’t hold puddles.

Cursing myself for my idiocy, I turned to the Everfree and took off at a jog, determined to find my soldiers before they were turned into Kentucky freakin’ fried pony strips!

The divide between the Everfree and the orchards was painfully obvious, if you ignored the tall sturdy fence that had warning signs every twenty feet or so, just the difference between the tamed orchard and the wide woods erased any doubt in the mind.

The lightning that was still striking in almost a rhythmic pattern came from deeper into the forest, silhouetting the trees in a brilliant blue-white light that lingered for far too long. Checking my rifle again, I slipped through a small gap in the fence, careful to be as silent as possible, not that it really mattered, the sound of thunder like a constant roar.

A few steps into the forest I could smell an acidic, metallic scent, heavy on my nostrils and feeling like sandpaper down my throat. The heat blasting out of the spot felt like a bad sunburn on all of my exposed skin. Each gust of what should have been cooling night air just bringing a stronger stench and more heat. Looking at the thermometer taped to my rifle stock I was surprised to see the temperature had stayed the same, if not gotten colder.

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” I muttered, instantly regretting it as it felt as if someone had given me a thousand papercuts in the mouth.

Fearing the worst, I stopped and put on my old ballistic glasses. The trusty old things had always been the lucky charm when it came to saving my eyes, hopefully whatever it was here couldn’t go through the lenses.

Walking forwards, I nearly stepped on the black metal armor lying on the ground. Instantly crouching I scanned ahead, looking for any threat. Sitting there the thunder suddenly stopped, and the world was thrown into a instant inky blackness that seemed to swallow everything.

Slowly, my hand creeps up to the NVG’s mounted on my helmet, folding them slowly down in front of my eyes, wincing as they clicked into position. Using the same hand, I grasped blindly at the small power knob, flipping it on, revealing the world in a staticy green with another small click.

Looking around , I got used to the lack of depth perception again, while also ensuring something had been stalking me in the shadows.

Standing back up, I noticed the heat was still present, despite the fact that the lightning had stopped. Checking my rifle again, I mentally shrugged it off as some weird science or magic bull-shit that was way above my ability to care. Taking a few steps, I nearly trip over another set of armor, and looking ahead, I saw many others scattered about.

“The fuckin’ hell?” I mutter, stepping around the outside of the clearing, avoiding the piles of armor just incase they were boobie trapped.

“Another sheep following the flock, but this one is different.” echoed an musical voice through the trees, cause me to dive behind a tree, rifle ready and searching.

“Show yourself!” I yelled.

“But what fun is that? I would much rather talk to you civilly than be tied up by such a ‘big macho man’ like yourself.” she said with a chuckle.

Moving quickly but stealthy I moved from shadow to shadow, before I stopped and faded into the deeper shadows of a large tree, making myself invisible to the naked eye.

“Oh, looks like we scared him away.” that damned female voice complained from far away.

“Oops, here he is.” she whispered into my ear.

Dropping my rifle to my side, I wiped my knife from it’s sheath on my hip and slashed out at the voice. My knife struck deeply at where I slashed and got stuck for a moment before I yanked it out, looking at the deep gash I had just gouged into the tree.

“Oh, a mighty tree killer! Maybe those guards were right when they said we had right to fear you.” she said mockingly, her voice coming from everywhere at once.

“Where are they?” I demanded, putting away my knife and swinging my rifle up in one smooth stroke.

“Oh, they are safe, but we are wondering, what do you love so much? You are like an exotic buffet to us. The perfect mixture of sadness mixed with pure joy. Cadance was just all love, no sadness, no disappointment, like a cake. You, you on the other hand. Oh.” That last moan sounded almost like she was enjoying eating my ‘happy’ a bit too much.

“We shall enjoy devouring your love until you are but a husk!” she continued, ignoring my discomfort, or rather, seeming to enjoy it.

“Who I love is my own damn business! You have no right to be prying, or much less, devouring my love, whatever the hell that means!” I yelled angrily.

“Oh, yes, that anger, go on, have another mood swing! I’m tasting things here in the purest of forms, these ponies here are just too, flat for my tastes, they always taste the same, now you, you’re just a cornucopia of tastes.”

Pausing, I held my breath and let it out slowly, clearing my mind of all thoughts, of all emotions, of all taste.

“Awww, now you taste bland, worse than those ponies.” came that voice, sounding disappointed.

“He who controls the flow of his emotions, controls himself, he who controls himself, controls others.” I said in a monotone as I resumed a ready position with my rifle.

“Oh, there it is, that’s the taste I wanted, it’s my favorite! The taste of triumph! Want to know why it’s my favorite?” she asked, suddenly sounding far away.

Turning slowly, I didn’t see the large black shape shoot out of the woods until too late. I screamed in pain as the horn pierced my left arm.

“Because failure always follows!” she laughed as the world flashed to white, leaving me falling into nothingness.

Ch 22. Minus One

“What do you mean he’s just ‘gone’?” demanded Applejack downstairs, her desperate cries heard throughout the house, waking the four young fillies who had been sleeping.

“What’s going on?” asked Sweetie Belle groggily.

“Shh.” Fortune made quick motions with her hooves telling them to pretend to sleep.

The Crusaders, used to tricking Fluttershy and Rarity, fell back into their respective sleeping bags and made soft snoring motions as the door crept open.

Rarity, peaking in, stifled her tears as she looked in upon them. Scootaloo, who was watching her carefully, noticed her gaze rested on her for far too long. Rarity, satisfied that the girls were asleep, closed the door softly and they could hear her tip-hoofing down the hallway.

“Come on girls, let’s see what’s up.” said Apple Bloom as she ninja'd her way out of the sleeping bag and across the room, everypony else following close behind.

The girls lead themselves to the upstairs balcony that overlooked the living room, looking down at the scene that was unfolding in front of them. Applejack was clinging to her brother, tears streaming down her face as Mr. Hammer stood stoney faced in the doorway, water streaming off of his flanks, mud covering much of his lower-half. Big Mac stood blank faced, even he lost for words.

“What do you mean? How could he be gone, how do you know he’s gone already? He doesn’t know the area well, he could just be lost.” Applejack reasoned.

“I hope so too ma'am, but we’ve found his clothes and weapons abandoned in the mud. So ve are assuming the vorst and have many squads looking for him on both the ground and air.”

“And I am searching for him with my magics as well.” Luna said soothingly.

“Why haven’t you found him with your mental link thingie?” she demanded, pointing her hoof accusingly, “Why is the Princess powerless to find one lost human?”

“He, ummm, I, ummm, you see.....” she started, holding her hoof to the back of her head, looking nervous and embarrassed.

“‘He ummm’, what?” Applejack screamed, tears streaming down her face.

“We cannot feel him anymore using our mental bridge. T’is like he doesn’t exist anymore.” she admitted, looking ashamed at herself, avoiding the glares from Applejack.

“Girls, shouldn’t you be in bed?” whispered Granny Smith from behind the Crusaders, surprising them.

“Come now, let’s get back to your bedroom.” she insisted, leading the way, her hip creaking loudly.

Re-entering the room, Granny Smith settled in a chair and motioned them to gather around. She waited for them to settle in before clearing her throat.

“I’m sure you little rapscallions already saw too much tonight without knowing the whole story.” she started.

“Cass is missing isn’t he?” Scootaloo interrupted, sounding heartbroken.

Granny, mouth still open to say something before she had been interrupted, closed it slowly and shakily nodded her head.

“Well, yes, that’s exactly what happened.” she said, impressed with her intuition. “An’ we got no clue where he went.”

“Could it be the Changelings?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It could be, dearie, but they found his stuff in the orchard.” Granny Smith explained.

“WHAT?!” Sweetie Belle shouted, eyes wide, overcome with horror.

“Don't you worry your sweet little heads about a thing. We have the guards here to protect us.” She said, making calming motions with her hooves.

“But what about Cass?” asked Fortune, surprising everypony in the room, she had barely spoken a word since the cart incident much earlier in the day, or rather, the day prior.

“They will find him, or rather, knowing that young man, he will escape on his own and be back soon enough.” Granny Smith reassured with a smile. “Now you fillies better be asleep for real when I come back to check on you in a moment.”

The Crusaders, returning to their sleeping bags, weary from a long, fearful day, soon nodded off.

Granny Smith, paused at the door, and gave one last comforting smile before she left.

No pony but Scootaloo noticed the uncertainty in it, or the tears welling up in her eyes.

The next morning was a quiet one. The entire household and their guests were sitting around the kitchen table, pancakes and waffles piled high, heavily laden with syrup and peanut butter, sitting completely forgotten.

There were two empty spots at the table. Applejack had been out all last night with the Lunar guards and refused to be slowed down as she went back out with another of the patrols just a few minutes ago to search for Cass. The other empty spot, which seemed to hold an aura of despair, was Cass’s.

Square pushed his plate away, his pancakes barely touched. He looked a little sick, as did his two brothers.

“Yup, thank you for the food.” Level said after a few moments of silence, pushing away from the table and hastily exiting the room with his two brothers close in tow behind him. The sounds of half-hearted construction soon made their way into the room.

“Shouldn’t you girls be out Crusading?” asked Big Mac, hoping to get them out of their funk.

“Oh, perhaps we can join you today?” Luna said excitedly.

“Um, Princess, we wouldn’t get much Crusading done if we had to dodge everypony in town.” protested Sweetie Belle.

“Huzzah!” announce Luna as a smoke cloud obscured her for a few moments, billowing away to reveal a filly Luna.

The sound of jaws smacking the floor was deafening. The Crusaders looked like their eyes were about to fall out of their heads.

“You can do that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“We would say so, as we did just do ‘that’.” Luna said with a smirk.

Nudging the still shocked Crusaders out of the kitchen, Luna stopped next to Big Mac, hopping up and landing on his shoulders so she could whisper into his ear.

“We will keep the little ones safe and preoccupied. We shall try to keep their minds off of his disappearance.” she whispered quietly so the young fillies wouldn’t hear.

Big Mac nodded slowly, lifting the small princess off of his shoulders and setting her on the ground. Luna ran out of the door, following the dazed Crusaders.

“I hope they find him soon.” Granny Smith said, poking her pancake with her fork.

“Eeyup.”

“It just ain’t right, he was only with us for such a short time, and yet it seems like we’ve lost a family member.” Granny continued.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed forlornly.

Rarity, sitting next to him, put her hoof around him before saying, “He won’t break his promise to Applejack.”

Walking on the path into town, the Crusaders were silent, content to just listen to their hooves clopping into town. Luna, who had been trying to strike up conversations, gave up after Fortune levitated an apple into her mouth, with a good deal of force too.

When they came upon the spot where the cart had veered off the road the previous day Scootaloo paused, looking down at the ground. The other Crusaders continued on for a couple more yards before they stopped and turned to face her.

“Scoot, what’s wrong?” asked Sweetie Belle, concerned.

Scootaloo looked up, a false smile on her face, believable enough that even her friends were tricked.

“Oh, nothing, but I thought we should go see what we can get from the cart crash, maybe we can still throw that romantic dinner for Cass and Applejack when he comes back.” she said before she trotted off into the orchard, leaving her friends chasing after her.

“Scootaloo, stay with us, it’s, ugh, we don’t want to get lost!” Luna called after her.

Scootaloo, ignoring the warning, continued into the woods, running faster, leaving her friends far behind. She skidded next to the cart and looked around on the ground, searching quickly before her friends caught up. She found what she was looking for and drew a quick arrow on the other side of the big tree where it was out of sight.

Trotting back to the other side, she saw her friends skid up, panting. Luna, unused to her much smaller form, had brought up the rear, and looked quite concerned as her horn glowed softly, casting an unknown spell.

“See?” Scootaloo said, pointing at the supplies spread about, most of it still intact, if a bit damp.

“But how are we gonna get this back to the farm?” asked Apple Bloom, prodding the cart with her forehoof, the cart still being stuck in the tree.

“Leave that to us!” Luna said, stepping forward as all the items spread about the area levitated up and towards her, each glowing with a purple aura.

“How is this going to help us? We still have to-” Fortune stopped, wide-eyed as the objects started disappearing with small pops.

“Spike is not the only one able to deliver the mail.” she said proudly.

After a few moments of a rhythmic popping Luna settled on her rump, looking tired, but satisfied. “Huzzah, we can continue on our quest for the cutie marks!”

“Come on then, we’re wasting sunlight!” Scootaloo urged, wearing her smile again.

Apple Bloom started saying something, but Scootaloo wasn't listening, her mind was already busy planning for the night.

After a full day of crusading, which only involved one high speed chase away from an exploding potato cart, the young fillies were back on the road to the Apple’s farm. Luna, who was unused to a full day of excitement, walked in a sleepy daze.

“That was AWESOME!” squeaked Fortune, hopping a little into the air, her worries temporarily forgotten.

“Yeah, until we nearly blew up half the market!” interjected Sweetie Belle, who would be picking potato chunks out of her mane for weeks.

“But we said sorry.” Fortune countered.

“You’re the smart one, can’t you figure the costs of the market stalls that we destroyed?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Eh, most of it’ll buff out, don’t ya agree Scootaloo?” asked Fortune, nudging her silent friend, who merely changed her course a little, until she and a half-asleep Luna ran into each other, knocking each other down.

“Sorry Luna.” Scootaloo muttered, her mind a thousand miles away.

“Mmmmnnnn, popcorn.” said Luna dreamily as she fell asleep on the ground in a sprawl.

Scootaloo, completely oblivious, stepped over her, muttering something under her breath and continued down the road, ignoring her friends as they propped Luna up between themselves and trotted after her.

“Scootaloo! Aren’t you gonna say sorry at least?” demanded Fortune angrily.

“Mrrr.” was her zombie like response as she continued, oblivious to the world.

“She’s taking this hard.” whispered Sweetie Belle.

“Wouldn’t you! I know if I lost Applejack or Big Mac I wouldn’t even be able to walk. She had just found her perfect family too, and then she had it torn away.” Apple Bloom whispered back.

“But she seemed fine earlier! What happened?”

“Earlier we were distracting her, but now that she has time to slow down and think and.....” Apple Bloom paused, unable to think of what to say next.

“It’s all hitting her again, like the waves against the coast. We shall guard her in her dreams tonight, but there is nothing we can do during the day besides providing the distractions.” muttered Luna, who was still hanging limp between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

“Aren’t you asleep?” asked Fortune.

The only response was her snoring slightly, a long string of drool flopping down to the ground, waving back and forth in the motion of their walking.

“Of course, the youngest is left to take care of one of the oldest in the kingdom.” Fortune muttered while kicking a rock.

“Glad to see you supervising so well, maybe you could take a turn carrying her, she weighs a ton!” Sweetie Bell complained.

Fortune, looking at the sleeping ancient filly, looked forwards towards Scootaloo and saw her drifting off towards a ditch, unaware of her imminent drop into the brackish water.

“I’ll help her!” she said, zipping off leaving a small puff of dust as she darted over.

After trotting along for a few more minutes the Apple’s home was coming into view. Sweetie Belle motioned with her head for them to slow down, letting the distance between them and Scootaloo greaten. Fortune, who noticed this, looked back with concern, but continued on when Sweetie Belle waved her on.

“We have to watch her tonight, make sure she doesn’t give herself too many nightmares.” she whispered over to Apple Bloom.

“So no scary stories?” Apple Bloom asked sarcastically.

Sweetie Belle answered her with a venomous glare, one trick she had picked up from Rarity.

“Okay, okay, I was only joking anyways, last thing I want is a repeat of that campin’ trip.” she added quickly.

Approaching the home, they could see the construction ponies had been busy. Up on the third floor they had built another addition, most likely Luna’s room judging from the large telescope that peaked from one of the windows. Luna was bound to be happy about having an actual bed to sleep in tonight, rather than a couch.

From the front door, Big Mac could be seen guiding in Scootaloo, concern written all over his face as he saw the state of mind that Scootaloo was in. Looking around, he also saw the sleeping Princess and the sound of hs facehoof could be heard from Ponyville.

“Please tell me you didn’t break her.” he asked once they were within earshot.

“Popcorn!” Luna yelled, thrusting her left fore hoof into the air before collapsing into a limp again.

“See, she’s fine.” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

“What did they break now?” yelled Rarity from somewhere inside the house.

“The Princess.” Big Mac said after hesitating for a moment.

There was a gasp and the sound of crashing dishes as Rarity stormed into the room, a couple first-aid kits flying behind her as she used her magic to push everypony else aside so she could get at the princess. Grabbing her with her magic, she stormed out of the room as quickly as she had come, a sleeping Luna blissfully unaware of hurricane Rarity that had just destroyed much of the living room.

There was a few moment of silence after the bathroom door slammed shut, followed shortly by the sounds of a tub being filled.

“I wonder if she remembers that she’s about to give the Princess of the Night a bath?” Fortune asked from underneath the couch.

“I’m sure she’s eventually going to figure that out.” Big Mac said as he set his large lazy chair back upright.

“Umm, before she comes back though, can somepony get me down please?” asked Apple Bloom, who was hanging onto the overhead fan, which was thankfully off at the moment.

“Mrrr.” Scootaloo said zombie like as she trudged upstairs, oblivious to the damage in the room.

“Is she okay?” asked Big Mac.

“I hope so, she was fine earlier, but she’s seemed more and more distracted as the day went on.” said Sweetie Belle, who had managed to unbury herself from underneath the mound of couch cushions that had been tossed under one of the large bay windows.

“Come on, lets see what Rarity had managed to cook before she abandoned it.” Big Mac said as he walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, something smells good!” Fortune said as she followed him.

“It’s getting stuffy in here though, I’ll turn on the fan.” Sweetie Belle said as she followed them, flipping the switch next to the door.

“You forgot me!” yelled Apple Bloom as she started slowly revolving around.

Applejack trotted up to her house, exhausted after looking for Cass all day. The Guard ponies she had taken out with her had proven to be like the last couple. She had worn them easily, and quickly, but had found no trace of Cass in the Everfree.

Thinking back, she grimaced at how easily Sasha had convinced her to get some sleep tonight, how could she sleep knowing that something had its claws on Cass, who knew what dangers he was in.

Pausing at the door she sighed. At least tonight she would be able to spend some time with the girls, make sure that they were okay at least. She didn’t even want to imagine what they were going through, but at least the house would be a calm in the middle of the storm.

Of course, fate, had other plans. As she opened the door she was greeted by a scene of utter chaos. The couch was flipped and all of its cushions thrown under the window, and the coffee table was leaning against the wall.

“GET ME THE BUCK DOWN!” yelled Apple Bloom, holding on for dear life as the fan spun at a moderate pace.

Applejack, stunned, couldn’t move from the spot, staring wide eyed at the spinning filly.

“Hurry or I’ll puke!” she yelled again.

Applejack, blinking a few times, ran over to the switch and flipped it off. She then grabbed the table and flipped it down, hopping on top and reaching up, stopping the fan suddenly with her hoof. Apple Bloom, un-ready for the sudden stop, went tumbling off and knocked Applejack off of the table in a heap.

“I’m okay.” she said as she attempted to stand up, only to canter off sideways and fall on her side, her eyes not looking straight in any one direction.

“Come on, I’ll help you.” Applejack said, picking up her younger sister and placing her on her back.

Walking into the kitchen she saw Big Mac snoring behind a newspaper as Fortune and Sweetie Belle attempted cooking, causing a billowing black cloud of smoke, which somepony had been smart enough to set up a fan in the nearby window to suck it all out.

Looking up from the boiling orange juice, Sweetie Belle smiled, “There you are Apple Bloom! We were looking for you earlier.”

“The fan! For three hours! How could you not hear me?” she demanded.

“Hmm, what?” asked Fortune as she pulled wads of cotton from her ears, “The fire alarms were so loud we had to protect our hearing somehow.”

“Three hours!”

Big Mac, who was snoring before, shot upwards, eyes darting open as he looked around the room before they settled on Apple Bloom and Applejack. He looked at them for a moment before his eyes shot open in realization.

“We forgot you, didn’t we.” he said in horror.

“YES!” she raged.

“Umm, sorry?” said Sweetie Belle.

“Sorry ain’t gonna cut it!”

“Umm, Ah hate to interrupt , but where is the Princess?” asked Applejack.

“She’s with Rarity, we kinda broke her when we were crusading today.” Sweetie Belle explained.

“You, broke the princess?”

“She’s in bed now, I had to give her a thorough bath to wash whatever you had blown her up with out of her fur. Though I do wonder why she did not transform back into her full form at any point.” Rarity said as she stepped into the kitchen.

“But still, you broke the princess? How in tarnation did you manage that? And why should Ah not tan your hide for doing so?” she asked, her anger flaring uncharistically fast.

“Three hours!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, obviously still quite angry.

“An’ why should I not tan your hide Big Mac?” At this, most of the color drained from his face.

“Ah, umm.” Big Mac, unused to dealing with an angry Applejack, was completely lost for words.

“An’ why were you nappin’, don’cha got some work to do? Just because Ah’m not here don’t mean you can just relax!” she said before turning on Sweetie Belle, who was still standing on the stool in front of the stove.

“An’ who let you cook, don’t you know your cooking is the worst in town! Ah’m just lucky the whole place hasn't burnt down yet!” Applejack yelled angrily.

Applejack, not done yet, turned on Rarity who was standing wide-eyed in the doorway, “An’ you! Where were you this entire time? You of all people I would’ve expected to have kept them in line, but no! You’re off playing spa date with the princess, who,” she paused as she turned on Apple Bloom, “you broke!” she accused.

“Now Ah’m gonna go take a bath so please have something ready for me to eat, Ah wanna get back out searching again!” she yelled as she left the room, slamming the half-door shut on her way out.

After Applejack stomped upstairs and they heard the bathroom door slam shut with enough force that the various knickknacks on the shelves bounced around, did they finally take a collected breath of air.

“Is my cooking that bad?” asked Sweetie Belle, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

Rarity quickly walked over to her little sister and put her forehoof around her.

“She’s just had a hard day. She didn’t mean anything she said. But if it would mean anything, I’ll ask Pinkie Pie to give you some more lessons.”

“Thanks sis.” she said, some of her smile reappearing.

Meanwhile, Apple Bloom walked over to Big Mac, nudging him with her shoulder.

“Ah’m worried about Applejack.” she said.

“Eeyup, me too.”

As Applejack lowered herself into the steaming tub of water she couldn’t seem to relax, but rather just sat there brooding, only her eyes sitting above the water, and her long blonde mane radiating out around her head like an aura of some aquatic creature.

“Where the hay is he?” she thought to herself, blowing bubbles with her mouth.

Grabbing a bar of soap, she started angrily scrubbing the mud and leaves out of her fur, quickly reducing the bar into a mere sliver. In her anger at using up the soap so quickly, she hurled what remained at the door, where it deformed and stuck to it. As she reached out of the tub and into the nearby cabinet to get another bar of soap, her still soapy hoof slipped out from underneath her, causing her to face-plant into the rug that was sitting next to the tub, her rear stuck over the edge of the tub, leaving her in an undignified position.

“Cass would have some smart-alec comment to say right about now.” she cried into the rug, her tears coming without her wanting them as she pushed herself up.

“And he would probably be very funny also.” said Luna, who was sitting facing away from Applejack on the toilet seat, still in her diminutive filly form.

Applejack, blushed hard as she rapidly pushed herself back into the tub, sinking back into the comforting warmth of the water before she asked, “When did you get in here?”

“Just when we heard thou plaster thy door with a bar of soap. We came in to ensure that you were okay.” Luna said without turning around.

“Ah’m okay!” Applejack blurted out too quickly.

Luna merely half turned her head towards the cabinet that was still sitting open. Using her magic, she lifted another bar of soap out and stripped it of it’s paper packaging and levitated it over to Applejack.

“Thanks.” she said as she reached towards it, only for it to zoom out of her grasp.

“We heard you yelling at your family and friends. That does not sound ‘okay’. That, and thou are the worst liar that we have ever heard.”

“Ah said I was okay! Why doesn’t anypony believe me when Ah say that!” she yelled, standing up and splashing water out onto the floor.

Luna raised one of her eyebrows as she twisted to look at the growing puddle on the floor.

Utilizing her distraction, Applejack reached up and grabbed the soap from the air before plopping back down into the water.

“Thank you for the soap, now if you excuse me, Ah got some cleanin’ up to do.” she said with a huff.

“Would you want Cass to see you like this?” Luna asked, looking away again.

“What? Are you goin’ to start lecturin’ me also about how Ah need to take care of how Ah look? Exactly what Ah nee-”

“Thou knows exactly what we mean.” Luna interrupted quietly.

Applejack looked deflated when Luna turned to look at her. Her head was hung down low forwards and her hair covered her face. Her shoulder were heaving and Luna could also faintly make out the sound of dripping water. She was sure it was not bathwater making the dripping noise.

“Ah have to look for him, he would do the same for me or anyone else here.” she choked out after a few minutes.

“But he is Cass, and you are you. You need to get some rest and you need to relax a little so that when he returns he does not have to nurse you back to health. And what would happen if you were out looking and he came back? Or worse, what if they also captured you? Did you consider what that would do to your sister, and your daughter? They would be devastated! Thou need to stop being so selfish and think about your family!” Luna said quietly, but her words carried power with them.

“I don’t know what to do! Ah just can’t sit here all day and just wait for him to come home on his own.” she sobbed.

“What you can do is be the pillar of support. So when the little ones have nightmares, they can run to you and be swept up in the comforting embrace they surely need.” Luna said as she hopped across the small gap between the toilet and the tub, landing gracefully on the edge where she lifted Applejack’s face up so she could look her in the eyes.

Applejack wiped the tears off the side of her face with one of her wet hooves, leaving a wet streak across her face, and managed a weak smile.

“Ah’ll try to do that.” she said quietly.

“Good, we would have had to resort to locking you in the basement for thy own safety.” Luna said a bit too cheerily as she jumped back down onto the floor with a clop and started walking towards the door.

“Luna!” Applejack cried as Luna used her magic to swing the door open.

“That’s our name.”

“Thank you”

With a genuine smile, Luna nodded and exited the small bathroom, closing the door with a click behind herself, leaving Applejack to soak in the now lukewarm water.

Standing out in the hallway all alone, Luna concentrated again, her horn glowing brightly for a few moments before the small princess collapsed onto the floor, panting.

“What is blocking the majority of my magic?” she wondered to herself after her latest attempt to transform back into her ‘Royal’ size.

“Something is very wrong nearby, I just hope they do not need our help to overcome it.” she said out loud to herself as she stood up and started down the stairs, following the smells of burnt orange juice.

Ch. 23 Restless Night

Scootaloo locked herself in her room and waited. She waited through dinner, not trusting herself to not say anything that would give away her plans. She waited for her concerned friends to stop knocking on her door asking to be let in. She waited until she could hear Applejack’s un-feminine snores echoing through the upper floor.

She had waited and planned all day for this, leaving nothing to chance.

After she was sure every pony in the house was asleep, she silently pushed the rope she had made out of her bed sheets out the window, wincing at the plop it made when the knotted end smacked the dirt below.

Sliding down the rope, she couldn’t help but feel just a little guilty. Here she was going to go do something dangerously stupid, and not letting any pony know. Landing on the ground though, she stood defiantly against the night that had so recently frightened her. With a quick jerk of her mouth she yanked the sheets down from where they were tied and shoveled them into the bush underneath the window

Trotting off in the direction of the destroyed cart, she never noticed the eyes watching her from the woodline.

Applejack woke with a start, jolting out of the bed and into her bedside table painfully. As she sat up rubbing her forehead, she reached with her other hoof to grab her hat from the bedpost only to have her hoof run into something. Opening one of her eyes she looked up and saw that someone had hung Cass’s uniform top from the bedpost, just like he usually did. Opening her eyes, she scanned the room quickly, but just as quickly she was disappointed. Apple Bloom was sleeping in the other half of the bed, Applejack’s hat sitting low on her head, hiding her eyes and ears.

Applejack just sat there for a few minutes, holding her tears back as the loss came crashing back down on her. With a deep breath, she stood up, noticing the chill in the room for the first time, and instinctively she grabbed the jacket and pulled it on.

The sleeves had to be rolled a couple of times and she had to fight with the evil zipper that refused to budge, but when she was settled in she felt more comfortable than she had since the last time she saw Cass. The uniform still had his scent in it, making it feel like he was there in the room with her, just about to wipe away her tears and tease her for being so worried.

Applejack walked out of the room, careful to not wake up Applebloom or Sweetie Belle, who was sleeping half under the bed, guess she had fallen out of the bed again, or maybe had help this time. Applejack really didn’t care, as long as they didn’t start another pillow fight in their sleep.

Trotting down the hallway she paused by the door up to the third floor, which was all Luna’s. Putting her ear to the door she heard a soft snoring. Applejack still found it amusing that the Princess of the Night, the same Princess who a thousand years ago waged war against the day, now chose to sleep through her own domain.

Continuing down the hallway, Applejack paused outside of Cass’s old room. Applejack tried the doorknob again in vain. She could’ve guessed the outcome, ever since the Crusaders had gotten home Scootaloo had refused to even leave her room once, not even for dinner. Applejack wished she could do the same but she refused to let it come to fruition. Her family needed her just as much as she needed them.

Thumping her head against the solid door, she whispered in to Scootaloo, hoping she would hear her.

“Scootaloo, just take yer time in there, just know that we all love ya and we all miss ya. But just don’t go and do anything silly, please.”

Applejack stood at the door for a while longer, not caring about much. She didn’t even notice Granny Smith’s creaky hip as she walked up and draped a blanket over her.

“Come on, I got a pie downstairs and no pony to eat it with." Granny Smith said, leading Applejack towards the stairs.

“Thanks Granny” Applejack said as she followed her gratefully.

Every tree she passed seemed to loom over her. The once always welcoming orchard seemed to be more evil than the Everfree Forest. Even the apples hanging from the branches were eerie similar to things that nightmares are made of.

But, brave little Scootaloo was determined, forging ahead, biting her lower lip to prevent herself from screaming at the slightest creak or thud causing her to jump.

“I wish Rainbow Dash was here.” she muttered to herself, flinching at the sound of her voice as it echoed quietly.

After she had reached the cart she followed the tracks deep into the orchard, in parts she was sure she had never been in before. With each step the trees loomed closer and closer, leaving the claustrophobic little pegasus wishing she could soar out of this depressing place before the darkness strangled the life from her.

Up ahead she saw the moonlight filtering down through the darkness pitifully. But even the miniscule glow was almost blindingly bright compared to the suffocating darkness. The little filly almost screamed in joy when she first saw it, and had to forcibly clamp her jaw shut to keep herself from doing so.

Trotting into the meager light she reveled in it, basking in the meager light, wondering why the hell she was out here alone.

Why is it everything she must do, she does alone? Why couldn’t she get help from anypony rather than sneaking around on her own? All of these questions and more flowed through her head, far too fast for me to be able to read them all.

I couldn’t help but smile as her relief swept over me, tasting sweeter than anything I’ve tasted since that damnable wedding, and much better than the spicy fear and dry tasting concern she was overflowing with earlier.

Grinning to myself, I couldn’t help but to reach up and slowly slid the branches further apart, making the opening widen considerably, lighting the little orange filly up like an actor on a stage.

The filly instantly panicked when the lighting changed, and bolted behind a nearby tree and hid. Little did she know her fear was lighting her up even more than the moonlight, she was practically sending up flares to every changeling in the area.

Luckily for her I am the only one for miles. I could faintly feel the locations of my brothers and my sisters as they hunted for lone ponies, but the closest one was barely more than a whisper on the wind.

If they caught wind of her, she would be torn apart in the resulting fight over her emotions, like a swarm of piranha swarming a bleeding prey.

Propping the branch against another, I slither down the tree trunk, coiling in an inky black rope on the ground before forming myself into a small crimson pony. I don’t know why but I could never seem to decide on any other color other than a deep red.

Taking a moment to compose myself and wipe the silly grin off my face and replace it with one of utter fear, I called out in a weak voice.

“Hello? Sissy, is that you?”

Hearing a soft rustle, I stepped into the light, looking around as if I was fearful of something hiding in the dark, I barely contained my smile as she foolishly revealed herself to me.

It almost broke my heart, what I was about to do to her was unspeakable. Almost....

Luna shot out of her bed, planting her hooves on her ceiling with a thud. Unsure of why she was so suddenly awake, she slowly scanned her surrounding, first with her eyes and then with her magic. Detecting nothing out of the usual, other than Applejack and Granny Smith enjoying a pie downstairs.

“Maybe I should join them.” she said as she jumped off of her ceiling to land not so gracefully on her bed, suppressing a giggle as she bounced on it a few times.

Stepping off of her oversized bed she took two steps before she halted so suddenly she nearly fell over. Counting heads again with her magic she noticed she was missing more than Cass.

Blowing her door off the hinges with a crash that instantly woke every pony in the house she bolted down her private stairwell, barely touching any of them but not even bothering extending her tiny wings.

Cursing her filly form once again as she skid around the corner she blew Scootaloo’s door off the hinges with even less subtility than that last explosion.

Sliding to a halt in front of the empty bed she felt tears well up in her eyes as she searched frantically with her magic, ignoring the other ponies as they filled the hallway. She barely registered as Applejack rushed into the room, a knife clutched in her teeth as she scanned the room with wide open eyes, looking for the danger.

“She’s gone.” Luna whispered.

Applejack, dropping the knife, which stuck itself into the floor, trotted over to Luna and twirled her around and grabbed her by her shoulders, shouting something in Luna’s face, but Luna didn’t pay attention. Her imagination, honed by a thousand years of little else to do, filled with millions of millions of increasingly horrible and incoherent scenarios.

The first thing Luna noticed was her face hurting, a lot. The second things she noticed was the utter silence only broken by the heaving sobs inches from her clenched eyes.

Turning her face slowly, wincing as her neck popped due to the movement. She peeked through her eyelids, not seeing anything other than the tan camo Cass wore all the time.

Panicking, she pushed herself away, but was instantly relieved to see she wasn't seeing things but had just been pressed into Applejack’s chest.

“What happened to Scootaloo?” begged Applejack for what was probably the hundredth time in the last minute.

“They got her too.” Luna choked out as she watched her friend’s soul die right before her eyes.

Zecora rolled out of her simple straw cot, swatting at the small alarm clock she had Twilight make for her awhile back. It was a simple thing, but very useful, especially when certain herbs had to be picked at odd hours in the morning.

Trotting out of her hut into the Everfree forest she didn’t even hesitate where other ponies would have bolted out of fear. While it was a lot different from the plains and grasslands she had grown up with, it did have its own personality that made it seem a bit like home after she had gotten used to it.

That, and also convincing the timber wolves she was too much work for too little of a meal also made it more comfortable.

Walking up a familiar path that she herself had worn with her frequent trips out collecting herbs and spices she closed her eyes and simply let her muscle memory guide her through the forest.

She was almost to her first item on the list when she halted herself. Sniffing the air, she noticed something was, different.

Opening her eyes she scanned her surroundings, looking for the source of her unknown oddity. Nothing seemed wrong at all. Shrugging her shoulders, she took a careful step forward.

“Knock”

Freezing in place, she slowly looked down and saw that she was standing on a brightly decorated sign cheerily announcing that Poison Joke was ahead.

Zecora’s eyes widened as she realized what was wrong.

The weed, each and every one of them, was gone.

Slowly taking a few steps backwards before she turned and bolted full speed back to her hut, she ignored everything racing back to the safety that her craftily hidden fortress contained. Whatever, or whoever had picked that much of the poisonous plant had no good intentions.

And while she knew she should warn Ponyville of their impending doom, she knew that her words wouldn’t be heeded until it was too late.

The best thing she could do to save as many as she could, was to brew as much of the cure she could.

Hopping through her doorway, she bucked her door shut with a loud bang, sliding the sturdy locks into place before looking around her hut before her eyes settled on her trusty pot.

“I better brew enough, before things truly get rough!” she muttered as numerous flasks and bottles rained into the pot in a flurry.

Ch 24. Storms Forcasted

“Contact right!” screamed the soldier to my right, falling backwards into the room to avoid the bullets streaking where he was just standing.

Grabbing him by the handle on the back of his armor, I hauled him back up onto his feet with a grunt. Peaking around the window I could see the dark shapes in the alley. Aiming down the scope of my rifle I could clearly see the weapons that they were carrying.

“Light them up!” I ordered to the surrounding soldiers, while also switching my rifle to semi and squeezing the trigger.

“Stop,stop,stop!” screeched a voice in my head, causing me to double over in pain, “We don’t want to eat this drivel, waiter, change the menu!”

The scene around me fuzzed around the edges as everything slowed to a stop, a few bullets hovered above me in a cluster. Reaching up I tapped one, only to watch it poof into dust. Confused, I stood up from behind the couch I was hiding behind and took a tentative step forward.

At the sound of my step, the floor rippled, and continued to ripple up everything in the room. Everything including my fellow soldiers, who stood like statues. When the ripple reached the edge of whatever object it was traveling on, whatever it was started disintegrating.

“No!” I yelled reaching towards the soldier I had just helped up as his face started to crumbled. As I grabbed him all I got was a handful of dust that slid out of my fingers into the quickly graying world.

“Give us something cheerful.” demanded the same voice, causing me even more anguish.

The mud hut I was in crumbled to dust, the other soldiers simply disappearing in plumes of ash. The ground underneath me rumbled and shook, knocking my feet out from under me. Covering my head with my arms as parts of the roof fell all around my head in clumps of debris.

When the last section fell, I slowly looked up to be greeted by an entirely different environment. I was lying on soft grass in the middle of an orchard. There was a thumping off in the distance. Standing up, I patted myself down, only to watch my gear fall off of me in clumps, and for a moment I thought I would end up stuck in the nude, but my clothing stayed intact where my armor had failed.

Surprised, I grabbed the pile I thought was my rifle only for it to slide through my hands just like that soldier had. Looking around I decided there was nothing else to do other than to go along with whatever was happening, I walked towards the thumping noise.

Making my way around a particularly thick tree I saw Applejack bucking a tree. Smiling, and hoping she would have answers, I stepped out of the shadows of the trees and called out.

“Yo! Applejack, what’s going on?”

“Gah! Who in tarnation are you?” she yelled as she turned around, eyes wide.

“It’s me Applejack, Cass. Did you hit your head or something?” I asked as I walked closer, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

Applejack, panicking, backed up quickly.

“Keep away from me! An’ while you’re at it, mind doin’ some explanin’ on why you’re on my farm and how you know my name?” she demanded.

“Well I don’t know, something about us being engaged suggests that we kinda know each other.” I joked, my smile faltering a little.

“Now just what are you sayin’? I’m a single pony, Ah’m flattered that you wanna marry me already, but Ah got no clue who you are!” she yelled, surprise written all over her face.

“Don’t you remember me at all, Applejack?” I asked, taking another step towards her.

Applejack, looking at me fearfully now, took another step backwards, only for her rump to bump into a tree. I took another step, holding out my hands in a non-threatening gesture.

“MAC!” she screamed.

“Oh, yeah, Big Mac, he’ll talk sense into yo—”

“Ugh, someone catch the license plate of that truck?” I muttered as I tried to roll over, only to be stopped by straps across my chest.

Opening my eyes, I glanced around the small cell I was in. The walls were a bare cinderblock and the window had thick, probably solid metal bars in it. The door was a simple metal door with a small slot at the floor and another at about eye level. I was strapped to a bed with thick leather straps that smelled strongly of the oils used in maintaining them.

“Hello?” I croaked out, my throat feeling dry.

The eye level slit slid open with barely a whisper. A pair of purple eyes looked at me for a moment before it snapped shut. After a few moments of what sounded like at least twenty locks unlocking, the door finally slowly swung inwards and Twilight Sparkle trotted in with two burly guards following her closely.

“Hello,Twilight, what’s going on?” I asked.

Twilight, blinking, hesitated with her hoof in the air, thinking for a moment before responding with, “Why do you think that’s my name?”

“‘Cause I’m one of your friends. Did you somehow lose your memory also?”

“We didn’t lose anything, you have created another illusion, Mr. Castle.”

“Illusion?”

“Yes, do you remember where you are?”

“Umm, no, first time that I’ve been here as far as I can tell.”

“No. It’s not your first time here, you’ve been here for the last three years, Mr. Castle.” Twilight said with a weary sigh.

“What, no, I haven’t even been in Equestria for all that long.” I said, struggling to get up.

“Easy now, Mr. Castle, I don’t want to sedate you again.”

“And stop calling me Mr. Castle, it’s Cass!” I yelled back at her.

“Oh, this one again.” she said a little more cheerily than she should have.

“What do you mean ‘this one’?” I demanded.

“Cass, would you look down at your hooves please.” she asked kindly.

“I don’t have hooves, I have hands and feet.”

“Please.” she asked, sighing again as if she’s had this fight far too many times already.

“Sigh” Looking down at my feet I nearly had a heart attack. Where my feet should have been there was a set of brown hooves poking out from underneath a light blue blanket.

“Bwa, wha, huh, how?” I sputtered.

“See Mr. Castle, your love with this Applejack is not real. That poor farmer pony you nearly assaulted was a Miss Jazz Apple, lucky for her, her father Macintosh was there to protect her.”

“But it was so real. How could I just imagine Applejack? Is this just some joke, Twilight?”

“No, it’s no joke, and I’m not Twilight. My name is Dr. Luna.”

“Luna, but she’s the goddess who raises the moon!”

Twilight, who had turned to leave the room, paused at the door way and laughed, “Raises the moon? Ha, with what? Magic? Don’t you know there is no such thing as magic?”

Sitting on her throne Chrysalis couldn’t help but smile. This one creature, this one failed experiment could feed her entire city for years! And with a little manipulation, he would never know he was the ultimate buffet. It was all too perfect.

Now if only she could coax another into this universe...

Sitting in her throne room, Celestia looked to the horizon, wishing her ‘sister’ could be here, she’s much easier to manipulate in pony than through the occasional letter, of which Celestia had not received any in return. But that was not to be, that fool human, Cass, had driven her ‘sister’ further from her than she thought previously possible.

How dare he twist her like that, did he not see what plans he was disrupting? Those carefully played plans took years of planning by her true queen, and yet took him less than a week to unravel.

His efficiency could be praised, if it could be used in another way, more useful way.

Standing from her throne she ignored her guards as they melted out of the shadows to follow her. Those foolish guards had no clue at all.

Trotting quickly to dungeons she froze the guards midstep. They would awaken in an hour or so, embarrassed that they lost the very pony they were assigned to protect. Perhaps one or two would commit suicide for their failure.

That would be highly amusing.

Walking through the thick iron door, she snapped it shut with her magic, bolting the magical locks hidden within the frame.

Here in the last cell, the cell that was to always be empty by royal decree. The other prisoners in the the adjacent cells continued sleeping, or pretended to be so, knowing the princess’s recent wrath.

Stopping outside the cell, she spied a pegasus sleeping in the lone cot. Frowning she plucked him up with her magic and slammed it repeatedly against the wall with loud thuds. After it stopped screaming she cast away the body like a sack of potatoes.

Still scowling, she walked over to the wall and pressed a brick with her forehoof, causing a section of the wall to slide away revealing a hidden pathway. Stooping her head lower to prevent her horn from scraping against the slimey ceiling she ignored the new set of cells in this dark dank hole.

“My dear, are you here to entertain me once again?” asked a refined voice from one of the darker cells.

“Shut up, Discord, unless you want me to banish you to the darkest depths of space, where there would be nothing to entertain you.” she threatened, without even faltering.

“Oh, this is grand coming from you, I’m still surprised you can even contain me here! Or could it be just because I haven’t really tried?” he laughed as the bars of his cell rapidly changed colors.

Celestia only rolled her eyes, why hadn’t she disposed of that... thing, when she could have.

Reaching her final destination, she paused at the doorway, a smile gracing her lips for the first time in days. Letting the green flames whoosh up her large form, she peered at the frail form that was briefly lit up.

“Well hello Celestia, have you been eating well? No? Oh, I’m sorry, seems like I forgot to bring you anything.” The imposter said as her evil laughter echoed out of the depths, scaring the remaining prisoners who only could try to remain unseen as they listened to the pitiful whimpers of the poor prisoner who had gotten the wrong cell.

“And you didn’t come to me sooner?” demanded Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, that was my line!” yelled Pinkie Pie as she was neck deep in a bag too small for her to go that deep digging around.

“We’re a bit busy if you haven’t noticed.” said Granny Smith who was sitting out of the way in the corner.

“Where is Applejack?” asked Fluttershy, who was largely ignored in the loud room, guardsponies running around setting up maps of the local areas and organizing tripled patrols.

“Do we know how they got her? Is it really safe in here?” asked Rarity, who was eyeing the walls as if a changeling was going to burst through one of them at any moment and mess up her mane irreparably.

“She climbed down!” sobbed Sweetie Belle into her sister’s side, distraught over the thought that her friend had ‘abandoned’ her.

“Climbed down?” asked Rainbow Dash, “Why didn’t she just fly down?”

“Need Ah count the times you missed the lessons ya promised her?” asked Apple Bloom.

Rainbow Dash blushed and closed her mouth with a click, embarrassment evident all over her face.

“Umm, excuse me? Where is Applejack?” asked Fluttershy, who was ignored again.

“Girls, we need to focus, we need to find them, and soon! If they keep on taking ponies like this, soon it’ll be too late to stop them, they’ll be too strong for us to stop!” said Twilight.

“The problem is, they are like ghosts, they freely roam without us ever being able to detect them. They simply blend into the shadows too much!” exclaimed Rarity dramatically.

“Maybe we can contact Celestia and have her raise the sun early!” said Twilight, turning to Luna, who was sitting in Apple Bloom’s old high chair, idly swinging her hind legs, humming a simple little tune as she was writing something on a parchment with her hooves.

“Luna?” said Twilight, trying to get her attention.

“Yes, I know, already working on it.” she said without looking up from her letter. “But don’t expect much, she’s been acting....” Luna paused, lifting her pen from the parchment and tapping is against her head in deep thought, while also managing to leave multiple dots all over the side of her head.

“Different? OH! OH! Did she change her hairstyle?” asked Pinkie Pie, bouncing in place.

Luna raised one of her eyebrows, and opened her mouth as if to say something, but stopped herself.

“Umm, excuse me. Shouldn’t we find Applejack?” asked Fluttershy, who, despite her persistence, was ignored yet again.

“Ladies, ve should move you to town vhere it is safer.” Sasha said as he walked into the house, mud still clumped heavily in his fur.

“You mean that my house that has stood for all my life isn’t safe anymore?” demanded Granny Smith.

“Ja.” was his immediate answer.

“But what if Cass or Scootaloo show up here while we are gone?” asked Twilight.

“And shouldn’t we find Applejack before we leave, if that’s okay?” asked Fluttershy, yelling loudly, for her. So at about normal talking volume for anypony else, but the results were instantaneous.

“Yeah, where is Applejack, and Big Mac for that matter?” asked Rarity.

The door that Sasha had just entered, burst open, the guards in the room all grabbing weapons or erecting magical shields. And none of them relaxed when they saw it was Applejack herself.

“Found her!” said Fluttershy smiling, happy with her little victory.

“I’ve found Scootaloo’s trail, and she’s not alone.” was all Applejack had to say for the majority of the ponies in the room to sprint after her.

“Umm, I don’t know about this.” said Scootaloo as she kicked a pebble at the entrance, “Why would your sister come down here?”

“I don’t know why, I just saw her come down here, please you must help me find my sissy!” begged the little foal from deeper in the cave, its voice echoing eerily.

“If you say so.” she said skeptically as she stepped into the shadow that hung over the entrance, leaving the relative light of the orchard behind.

“Please hurry!” called the little foal from the shadows, causing Scootaloo to start walking quicker, squinting trying to peer through the darkness.

“Where are you, I can’t see a thi-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” she screamed, sliding down deeper into the cave on a steep slippery ramp.

Standing on the ceiling of the cave the foal simply grinned as green flames consumed the flesh of the young form it had assumed, leaving the black pony-like creature in its true form, basking in the emotions from the filly.

“I think I’ll name you dinner.” The changelings' laugh echoed evilly after Scootaloo as she continued to slide deeper and deeper still into the cave, tears streaming behind her as she struggled to stop or slow down.

CH. 25 It's All Sunshine and Rainbows!

“There’s some more tracks over here!” called out one of the guards.

Applejack, who was searching in the opposite direction, came sprinting to the spot the guard was standing at, scanning the ground with an desperate furiosity that had the guard backing slowly away.

“Come, this way, they’re leading this way.” he said, trotting deeper into the orchard.

Applejack, giving up on finding the near imperceivable hoof prints, followed the guard, every other pony in the group following quickly.

Cutting a path through the underbrush, the guardsponies in the lead set a grueling pace, not even daring to slow as they cleaved their way through the thickest of branches with their stubby swords that were being swung with their unicorn magic in tight controlled swings.

“Hurry, the mountains are just ahead.” yelled Rainbow Dash from somewhere above the canopy, along with a good dozen guards all flying in a disciplined formation, protecting their earth-bound fellows below from the dangers above.

“They must be headed towards the caves that Granny warned us about when we were little.” Big Mac said from back towards the rear, the only ponies behind him being more guards.

“You mean those deep dark caves that are full of scary things?” asked Fluttershy, her voice and eyebrows creeping higher and higher with each word.

“Ja, but don’t vorry, ve guards vill protect you vith our lives.” Sasha said, not out of breath in the slightest despite the large age difference between him and every other pony minus Luna

“Well, I for one hope it does not come to that.” huffed Rarity, who for once, was ignoring how dirty she was getting... for the most part at least.

“Ja, of course, but in case it does, make good and sure you’re behind the ponies vith the swords.”

“We might need more than just a few swords if they were able to get Cass.” Applejack muttered to herself, almost too quiet for even herself to hear.

“Oh little filly, where are you?” taunted the changeling from deep in the shadows.

“Eep!” Scootaloo chirped as she scuttled out of her hiding spot in a hurry.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” it sang, teasingly close.

Scootaloo, scared beyond coherent thought, sprinted further desperately. She cared little for where she was going, as long as she was away from that...Thing!

Sprinting down a long lonely stretch of tunnel she spotted an offshoot to the side. Sliding past it she quickly squeezed her way in rump first, squatting down as low as she could, trying to make herself as invisible as possible.

It was a long few seconds before the opening darkened suddenly, a massive shape had moved in front of it. Whatever form it had assumed, it was truly massive.

After what seemed like an even longer few seconds, the shape huffed and moved on. The heavy tread that was silent before was now crunching loudly, the sound echoing down the cave.

Only when she was certain it was gone did she finally dare slowly release the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Scooting her rear further into the crack she found that it eventually opened up much wider deeper in. When she finally managed to force her way into the wider area she found she was able to turn around and was disheartened by what she saw.

It was another tunnel like the one she had escaped from, nearly identical in all the muddy details that she was able to make out in the murk.

With a choking sob, she sat down on the floor, tears streaming down her face. All she wanted to do was run screaming and crying, but she knew for certain that would be her doom.

Sitting on the floor she slowly patted herself down, checking for and finding quite a few places where she had scratched and bruised herself. Whimpering in pain as she pressed on one particularly painful spot she had the sudden realization that she had to pee....

Finding a lone corner, blushing bright enough that she feared that she was lighting up the cave she prepared to conduct her business.

“Oh hello there, did you really think you could find a path I couldn't fit through, in my cave?” asked a dark liquidity cloud as it stormed out of the crack she had made her escape through.

Scootaloo, all other thoughts pushed from her mind, did the first thing that came to her mind.

She ran, screaming louder than ever before.

“Wait, did anyone else hear that?” asked Applejack, holding up one hoof to halt all the other ponies in their group.

“Yeah, we must be getting close!” said Rainbow Dash, who was flying low above them.

“Come, ve must hurry then, that vas not a happy scream!” Sasha said as he stormed out of the orchard towards the cliff face that was littered with caves.

“What was that?” I asked, leaning up off the couch in Dr. Luna’s office.

“What was what?” she asked, looking up from the notepad I’m sure she was drawing on rather than taking proper notes.

“I thought I just heard someone scream.”

“Well we are still near the mental ward, and you are one of the less disturbed patients here.”

“Still a patient though.” I said sourly, looking with disgust at the straitjacket they were forcing me to wear.

“Only for your protection.” Twilight...I mean, Dr. Luna said as she sat down her notepad, face down.

“Huh, then what's next, one of those cone collars?” I asked sarcastically.

“Only if you bite me.” she said too cheerily. “But I don’t see that being necessary, soon we are going to attempt to reacquaint you with society.”

“Really?” I asked, suddenly interested for once in what the Doctor had to say.

“Yes, you have shown a lot of improvement here in the last two years. Especially after we coaxed you out of the ridiculous ‘human’ phase.”

“Yes yes, you mentioned something about me leaving this place?” I asked, leaning forward until the chain attached to the back of my jacket stopped me short with a clink.

“Under my strict supervision of course.” she said, a little miffed that I hadn’t raised to her jab at what was a mindset that I had defended for a long time.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, but I get to see the outside, maybe get some real food and see the sun without bars in the way?”

Smiling and laughing to herself quietly, she sat further back into her comfortable looking leather chair. Grabbing her notepad she smiled as she said.

“I will miss these little talks of ours though. It was always a bit of a highlight of my day, talking to somepony who doesn’t try to eat me seems to be growing rarer each day.”

“I don’t know Doc, you look tast—” I was interrupted by her little kitchen timer that she had sitting on the counter. Looking at that evil little clock I laid back down on the couch and shuffled a little inside my itchy straight jacket.

“Well, looks like our time is up.” she said as she pressed a worn red button on the arm of her chair.

With little hesitation, one of the large grey orderlies walked into the room pushing a wheelchair.

“Take him back to his room please.” the doctor asked kindly.

“Ja, I vill also deliver him his lunch.” he said with a russian accent as he picked me up gently and placed me in the chair, and with practiced ease, put the two straps across my chest and unhooked the chain from it’s mooring under the couch.

“The masses are rejoicing over this new food source my queen.”

“Of course they are!” Chrysalis said with a huff, “He alone can feed us for much longer than all those guards combined.”

“But we still have an issue of feeding everyone. We still have the starving in the streets! We still need to find more food.” the queen’s counselor continued.

“YOU PRESUME TO GIVE ME ORDERS!!” the queen yelled, sending the small changeling sliding back a few feet with nothing more than the power of her voice.

“No,my queen, but may I make a suggestion? Perhaps it would be in our best interests if we attempt to bring more of his kind here.”

“Only if you have fixed your mistakes! We cannot waste our resources to bring another human here if we’re just going to lose them to the ponies. It was a miracle that I was able to capture him at all!”

“Yes, my queen, and we have already prepared the chambers, they are awaiting you to assume your role.”

“Good, but leave me now. I need to feed more if I am going to be able to cast that much magic on my own.”

“Shall I call forth the magic you stole from the princesses?”

“Yes, but less of Luna’s, we do not need her noticing her sudden waning powers.”

“Why hello my dear are we enjoying ourselves?” asked Discord as he stood outside of the cell bars.

“Hello again, are you here to taunt me some more?” Celestia asked, rattling her chains as she looked up at the strange creature.

“Nope, just here to spread some of my goodwill.” he said with a grin.

Celestia just looked at him blankly for a few moments, unsure of what he meant until a cotton candy cloud floated into her cell, and well within her limited reach.

“Thank you,Discord, though I do wonder why you have not left this abysmal place?”

“What, and leave you here alone? While, yes I do blame you for trapping me in that statue for so long, I do not wish to leave you here in the clutches of those things all on your own. And besides, I also want to greet our new guest when he arrives.”

Celestia, mouth full of cotton candy, nearly choked when she heard this. She sat up to the limits of her chains and looked wide eyed at him.

“Oh, yes, you don’t know about the humans, do you?” he said with a mischievous grin.

CH. 26 Grasping at Straws

Trapped, backed into the corner, nowhere to run, no pony to call out to for help.

Just how it liked its meals.

“Little Scootaloo, will you come out and play?” it asked using its foal voice, teasing her, making her think it was hidden.

It wasn't.

There was no hope for her to escape, not now, not ever.

It also helped that the silly filly had gotten herself trapped in a narrow section of the cave, quite comically for the changeling. Her rear hooves were frantically kicking in the air, but were barely scraping the ground.

Settling down on what could be called its butt it prepared itself for a mental feast. Not the usual trickle feed feeding that would sustain a few changelings for a week or so before the prey was worn out and would be discarded, but for a voracious mental attack that would strip her of usefulness in hours, and from there it could just leave the husk in the hole to scare future prey. And where she was stuck the decaying smell would not stink up the place too much.

Oh! Life was good!

Just as it started to reach out with its mental tendrals, a nagging sensation rippled across its skin like water. Something, or rather, many somethings had entered its lair, far too many to be explained away as them simply being lost.

“They must be here for the filly!” It raged in it’s head.

With a sigh, the shifting mass turned around and slunk away, snapping its dragon-like tail against the wall in anger. This minor inconvenience would only delay it from its food, but perhaps it could find a way to lead them into the main hive.

“Oh, yes, that could work out.” A dozen or so cheshire grins appearing on it’s skin in random spots.

With the hive occupied by the new feeding sources, it would leave it free to feed to its heart’s content on this little filly, and if it played its cards right, maybe the queen would reward it.

Oh, life just got better!

“So, Dr. Luna, you’re letting me leave today, right?” I asked, strapped down to the heavily padded wheelchair.

“Of course, it’s not everyday we get to do so either! The breakthroughs that we’ve made with you are truly wondrous. Now if only we could do the same with the others.” she said, slowly, choosing her words carefully.

“Somepony bite you again?”

“And a few others.”

“I bet you tasted like chhhiiiikkkkooooonnnnnn.” I sang, teasing her from my chair.

“Not too late for me to rip up your release forms and place you in solitary confinement.” she deadpanned.

“Bah, you’re no fun.” I said, flopping back down in my chair.

“That’s vhat ve all say.” The orderly who was pushing my chair said, chuckling a little to himself.

“Thank you, at least someone here has a sense of humor.” I said, leaning back to look at the old stallion who had been the only orderly I’ve seen in the eight years I had been in this hospital.

Come to think about it, the only two ponies I have seen working in this hospital my entire stay here.

“So, what is going to be the first thing you do when you leave?” asked Dr. Luna, who was highly displeased with how the conversation was going.

“Eat a pony.” I deadpanned.

The chair I was in stopped suddenly, jerking me forward. Dr. Luna stepped around in front of me, giving me a long hard stare.

“Yes, yes, I know, lame joke.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Turn him around, take him back to his cell.” she said.

“Buh, wha.....wait....” I sputtered.

“And make sure to add him back to the chow list.” She added as she tore a sheet out of her notebook and ripped it to shreds.

“Please!” I begged, “It was just a joke! I promise it meant nothing more. Please don’t do this!”

“Probably should put him in solitary confinement before he gets dangerous.”

I felt the blood rush from my face. “Confinement?” I squeaked.

“And make sure his bindings are tight, don’t want him to slip away.”

“Please, nononononono, anything but that, anything!” I begged, a solitary tear rolling down my face. The year I spent locked in that lonely black room was haunting me, taunting me.

The chair slowed to a stop, I wasn't paying attention, I was staring at my hooves as they dangled inches above the speckled floor.

“Just a joke, yes?” Dr. Luna asked.

“Yes, I swear it was!” I sobbed.

“So how did you enjoy my joke?” She asked.

“You made a joke?” I asked, looking up at her grinning face.

“You are an evil mare.” The orderly said.

“Agreed, but you tore up my release.” I pointed out.

“Blank piece of paper. Don’t worry, we’re still throwing you out on your ass.” She said with a smile.

“I have a donkey?” I grumbled sarcastically.

“Let’s get you free before another one of her jokes makes me strangle her.” The orderly said as he turned me around and pushed me back towards the wide metal double doors.

“Anyways, Mr. Cass, just a reminder, while we have set up housing for you, and a small allowance, they are only meant to support you till you get a job of your own. And while you may be free-er, we will still be checking up on you often. But, if you have any issues, just return here and we will do everything we can to help.”

Stopping just short of the door, the orderly walked around in front of me and with great flourish, unlocked the obscenely large lock that held the thick chains in place. He pushed the door handle down and looked at me with a large grin on his face.

“And vill be light.” He simply stated as he opened the door, letting the first sunlight I’ve seen in years stream in.

The apartment that they had provided for me was.... small, but it was cozy, in it’s own way. The simple apartment sat above a small market where the other ponies came and sold their wares.

In the days after I had been set free from the hospital the Doctor had visited me a handful of times, once to even leave me a housewarming gift. While I appreciated it, I didn’t get the humor behind giving me my straight jacket. During her visits she made thinly veiled suggestions to get out and meet myself a nice mare to settle down with.

So far I really hadn’t done much more than go out and attempt to find myself a good job, not that many for a former inmate of an insane asylum. Luckily for me I had been able to find one working as a errand boy for the local baker, a clearly insane pink pony. But hauling ingredients to the shop all day and helping with the cleaning did have some definite advantages of free pastries.

Last time Dr. Luna had visited me she had also suggested I should keep a journal, but I couldn’t do it. Writing without fingers, despite the fact that I knew I’ve never had them, just still felt wrong.

Every now and then I would see Jazz Apple in the market, and while she never seemed to recognize me, I avoided her like the plague. Last thing I needed was to get noticed by her, and by her I mean her father, who would probably beat the crap outta me if he even got the hint of me anywhere near his daugher.

And to make matters worse, I could hear mutterings when no pony else was nearby, and they made no sense. Of course, I would never mention this to the good Doctor, but still. Most of them seemed to be pertaining to my mood, which I found odd, seeing how most of the time it seemed to me like they were ordering them like food.

The voices seemed familiar, but i had no clue why, only a dark cloud when I tried to conjure up any images of who or what the voices belonged to.

All I knew is that the scared the crap outta me.

Scootaloo knew she was screwed. She could practically feel that thing’s breath against her trapped rump. Who knew what horrors it would unleash on her in such a vulnerable position.

Fearing the worst she struggled with all of her might, desperate to even move an inch in any direction, cursing her stupidity for even trying to force her way through the too small hole.

“Little Scootaloo, will you come out and play?” Came it’s muffled words from behind her, causing to panic even more, scraping her hooves on the ground and using her forehooves to push with renewed vigor.

After a few moments that seemed to stretch on for far too long, she heard a shuffling sound followed by a sharp crack that hit the rock above her rump hard enough she felt the rock tremble.

Scootaloo bucked trying to hit her attacker and only struck empty air, but she was rewarded with a slight shift forward.

That slight shift was all she needed.

Pumping her hips she heaved herself forward and popped through, landing on her face with a thud as the narrow passage collapsed behind her with a shower of shattered rocks and sending up a plume of thick choking dust.

Standing up, she coughed, trying to clear her throat from the dust that was quickly becoming concrete. She pounded her hoof on her chest she coughed up what felt like half her lung. Taking a step forward she fell flat on her face, something had hold of her tail. She fearfully looked back, expecting that monster to have hold of her, but breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was just merely the collapsed rocks.

Twisting herself around she looked for anything on the ground to help her. Seeing a sharp looking rock nearby she scooped it up in her hooves and started hacking at her tail near its base. Soon the hairs started snapping and breaking.

After the last few hairs finally gave away, she flipped back over and staggered away, her balance thrown off by the lack of tail. She grimly continued on, hoping that somewhere ahead she would find a way out of the ever deepening labyrinth.

Author's Note

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about the huge delay, but hell, better late than never.

Anyways, I'm now running without editors, so if ya find alot of mistakes, I apologize, and if anyone wants to step up, feel free to PM me.

CH 27. Secrets and Lies

Slurping through the cracks and crevices that lined the ceiling of the cave, it followed the small band of brave, but stupid ponies. Watching, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, like a snake under a rock, it knew it had all the time in the world.

And it also didn’t help that reinforcements were on the way, setting up an ambush that required it to do nothing but watch.

And when they arrived, it would be free to go after the true prize, that delicious little strip of meat that was so tantalizingly close but yet so far.

“Oh, life is good!” It thought to itself, “Now if only I could play with them a little more.”

“Oh my gods! Is that Scootaloo’s tail?!” Exclaimed Applejack, pointing at a few purple strands poking out of a part of a collapsed wall.

“Oh, too easy!” It sang to itself as it slimed to the other side of the wall.

“Help me move these rocks!” said Twilight as she started flinging them off with her magic.

“Applejack, is that you?” sobbed a faint voice on the other side of the rocks.

“Ah’m here, Scoots, don’t worry we’ll get you free!” Applejack yelled into the wall.

“Don’t bother, my back is crushed, I’m done for and it’s all your fault!”

The group paused for a heartbeat, you could’ve heard a pin drop in Canterlot.

“Don’t say that, Scoots, you’ll be okay I promise.” Applejack called back, tears welling up in her eyes.

“No, I won’t! And it’s your fault! If you never adopted me I would still be okay! It’s always been you stupid adult’s fault. I. Hate. You!” Scootaloo’s voice yelled back.

The look that etched itself on Applejack’s face destroyed her friends, they couldn’t even imagine what that sort of pain felt like.

“Don’cha worry, I’ll make everything better.” She sobbed, oblivious now to the flurry of rock clearing.

“Oh Celestia, it’s here!” Screamed Scootaloo, her voice skyrocketing into higher octaves as her ‘tail’ was yanked clear from the hole, causing another miniature avalanche.

Applejack merely stared at the spot the tail had been before she launched herself at the rubble, digging with everything she had and then some more. Small, sharp rock chips peppering her face and arms leaving hundreds of miniscule bleeding cuts.

“Scootaloo, everything is going to be okay!” Her scream echoed into the darkness.

HA!

That was the most fun it had in years! And that delicious taste, oh so spicy! It promised itself that it would do this more often.

But, it mused as it twirled the little ones sheared off tail, all good things must come to an end.

Slithering down the tunnel towards the faint impression of its tasty little morsel, it could barely wait until it stripped her to the bone.

But, playing with your food was the best seasoning one could ask for.

“Oh yes! Life. Is. Good! “

“Honey bear? Are you okay?” My favorite pink pony asked.

“Oh, what, sorry shnookums, thought I heard something.” I replied.

“Uh huh, you’re just stalling. I know you have something important to say!” She was beaming, bouncing like usual.

“Hmmm, maybe.” I teased.

“Oh, ccooooommmmmmeeeeee ooonnnnn!” She begged.

“Well, we’ve been working together a long time at the bakery...”

“3 years, 2 months, 8 days, and 18 hours, give or take 30 minutes!” She boasted cheerfully.

“And they’ve been the best 3 years and change I’ve ever had...” I continued.

“And?” She interrupted.

“Well I got this fancy ring that I wanted to give you, to sym-”

“Aw, boooorrrrriiiinnnngggggggggggg! Why would I want a ring you silly?” She sang, just being her bubbly self, bounce and all.

“I-uhh...” I stammered, surprised I was rejected before I could even ask.

“Don’t worry though, I’ll still be your wifey-poo, but only if you prepare your body for the ravishing of a lifetime!” She yelled excitedly.

“Umm, you do remember we are in a restaurant right?” I said, growing smaller in my seat, feeling like I could roast marshmallows on my cheeks. “And besides, what is with everyone around here always obsessed with sex and other dirty things?”

“Well maybe because we’re all being secretly watched by monsters that feed off of emotions and the more drastic emotions are like dessert to them.” She said, suddenly serious.

“What?” I sputtered.

“Oh nothing, just breaking that wall again.” Her way of saying she was spouting nonsense again, and of course literally bouncing back into her normal, abnormal self.

“So how did you know what I was going to ask?”

“I asked around town, you know how I hate surprises you silly goose.” She said sitting back down in her chair, oblivious to the looks and glares from everypony in the fancy restaurant.

“Yeah, but I had to try; hell, I’d try anything for you, Pumpkin Pie.”

“I mustn’t give in!” Scootaloo thought, trying to motivate herself to keep moving.

“They are all depending on me! If I stop, it’ll get me! If I want to have a family I have to fight for it!”

It was times like this she wished she had Rainbow Dash’s courage. She never backed down from a challenge, she just drove on. But she didn’t have time for idle wishes she reminded herself. Threat is now, and now is all that matters.

And besides, dead is dead, no matter how unafraid of it you are.

Pushing those thoughts out of her head she continued on, head held high, eyes wide open and scanning, and...still need to pee.

Funny how quickly something so insubstantial became so important so quickly even when facing impending doom by way of slow and probably very painful death. Finding herself a darker corner in the already impossibly dark cave was unneeded, and impossible, so she just pushed to the side. It wasn’t until too late that she found the large deep hole falling straight down, deeper into her own personal hell.

Struggling with all her might to stop falling, flapping her wings in vain and trying to find purchase on the smooth walls only slowed her down a little. She was completely unprepared for when the whole opened up to a large cavern that glowed faintly green.

Looking down she saw how much further she had to fall and knew that this was the end. Nothing could survive falling this fast from this height.

Closing her eyes she sobbed into the wind and wished that she could have done more.

“My queen.”

“I told you not to interrupt me while I am feeding!” Queen Chrysalis yelled at the changeling who dared enter the royal cafeteria.

“My apolog-ghak!” The changeling choked on the tightening band of magic around his throat.

“DON’T WASTE MY TIME, SPEAK FASTER!” She yelled, not turning from the large bowl like vat that glowed an eerie green.

“Gha- Ah!” The poor messenger sputtered, the magic gripping tighter and tighter, the sound of his trachea, grinding and popping filled the room as the other changelings who came in with him quietly but quickly moved away from their doomed comrade

The queen merely continued staring into the vat even as the changeling pounded on the floor and crawled towards her, his magic sputtering sparks in desperation.

The chamber was deadly silent as the messenger slowly sucumbed. The others who came with him sulking in the shadows, trying their hardest to be invisible. The Queen on the other hand, didn’t even so much as blink.

After long minute, she sighed and turned away, she used her magic to drag a few changelings from their hiding places around the room into a heap in front of her.

“Speak fast before you join him.” She deadpanned.

“Ma’am, a group of pony guards have been spotted in the caves above.” The smartest of the bunch spit out real quick.

“So? Just do with them that you’ve done with the rest. Why did you deem this important enough to interrupt?” She demanded, her horn starting to glow a menacing green again.

“The Elements of Harmony are with them.” The same changeling continued.

With a smile that showed no real joy, the queen laughed as she sang, “So the lovestruck Element of Honesty has conned her friends to come get her exotic flesh toy! Ha, let them come, it will only force Celestia into a checkmate!”

“You!” She yelled rounding on the speaker, “You shall lead the ambush, capture them. I do not care if they are alive or dead.” She paused, slipping into deep thought, “On the other hand, execute one, the yellow one. She’s the most fragile anyways, won’t feed more than just a few hatchlings, but her death shall invigorate the rest into a wonderful stew! And from there, the tyranny of the Princesses will be ended with one fell swoop, and we shall be the victors!”

Smiling as the echo of her voice carried into the hive, causing the horde to stir she turned back to her vat. Peering in, she reached out with her mind and connected again with the dark blob floating within, letting the emotions roll across her mental tongue in a feast of no compare. With a sigh she leaned down to the face poking out of the jello like substance that filled the vat and whispered into the ear of the sleeping giant.

“Don’t worry, Sgt Castle, dessert is on the way.”

“Oh Celestia, I do so hope you’ve enjoyed your dessert!” Laughed the fake queen standing outside of the cell.

“You will not get away with this!” The original yelled, refusing to look at the plate at her hooves, “I vow that I will end you.”

“Oh come now, if you keep on talking, your dessert will get cold, and you don’t want to let your valiant guards sacrifice be in vain now would you?” The fake laughed as she left, her laughter like nails across a chalkboard.

Only when she was sure she was alone did Celestia finally start to cry. Sitting on the plate in front of her was the roasted remains of one of her guards of whom she could not identify, only that before his roasting he was exceptionally fluffy. The charred flesh was still oozing and was filling the cell with a horrible smell that ensured that she would never forget whomever this brave pony was.

“Ssshhhh, don’t cry my dear, everything will be okay.” said Discord soothingly as he walked through the wall connecting their cells.

“Let me fix this.” He said, whipping the plate up and sitting between it and her.

“Fix it how? That guard lost his life because he learned about the fake. As time goes on, all of my guards will start noticing, and how am I supposed to take the death of any of my ponies?” She sobbed, wishing she could at least wipe away her tears, but the tight chains prevented any movement.

“Don’t worry my dear, while I may be the God of Chaos, I also cannot abide by jokes in bad humor. What is the point of a punchline if it KO’s your audience?” He said over a slurping noise.

“Oh mother of me! Tell me you’re not eating him!” Celestia said, turning quite green.

“What, no!” Protested Discord as he turned and moved, pointing at the now empty plate.

“I’m just merely fixing the problem.” He continued as his point moved over to a sleeping pony who was oblivious to the fact that he was just a steak seconds before.

“What?” Celestia sputtered, completely aghast to what she saw, “No pony can raise the dead!”

“And I didn’t, that fake cannot see through even the weakest of my illusions, and that guard has been pulling double shifts, so he was never roasted.” He boasted with pride.

“But why? I imprisoned you here; why are you helping me?”

“I’ve already said that my dear.” He said as he turned and walked back to his wall, pausing when only his face showed.

“And besides, you still owe me that kiss.” He laughed as he disappeared through the wall.

CH. 28 Ever Had a Day So Bad That....

“Come on now, we got to get through this!” Yelled Applejack desperately as she strained to push aside a particularly large boulder by herself.

“Over here, I’ve found a way through.” Grunted Rainbow Dash, who was already half way through the hole she had just made.

The other ponies rushed to her disappearing flank to help her expanded the hole large enough so that every pony, including the massive bulk of Sasha could squeeze through.

Once on the other side the group reformed in a semicircle facing away from the hole, all the unicorns illuminated the immediate surrounding area as Twilight did a quick head count.

“Sasha, didn’t you bring 20 guards with you?” She asked, confusion evident on her face.

“Yes, you are correct in your calculations, ve have 20 guards.” Sasha answered without looking away from the inky blackness he was studying that was just out of the reach of the unicorns’ magical light.

“Well we are missing a few then.”

“Count again, you must have miscount.”

“Umm, I’ve counted 4 times now and we are missing 3 of them.” She answered simply.

“Vhat?!” He roared as he turned around, his hammer slipping out from its sling.

“We. Are. Missing. Ponies.” She said staring into his face unblinking.

“Do any of you know of any pony vho stopped to do anything?” He demanded, “Vho is missing?”

After a short bout of confusion as the ponies roll called each other it slowly dwindled to silence.

“So, vho is it?” He demanded again.

“Corporal Grape, Private Shine, and Private Tub.” One of the unicorns called out.

“Do ve know vhere they vent?” His heavy accent growing worse.

“No sir.” Came a chorus of replies

“But we doooo.” Sang a multitude of sinister voices from the darkness.

“Guards! Ambush, Veapons up!” He yelled, shoving Twilight behind him with a mighty push of his magic.

The guards, with practiced ease, fell into a tighter semicircle, pushing the mare’s they had vowed to protect behind them and up against the rubble wall. The unicorns unleashed a storm of lights that rocketed down the pathway, sticking to what they struck and illuminating the path with a patchwork of light and shadows. But even with all the added light, nothing could be seen.

“Steady, ve must not give them any opening.” Sasha growled.

“Oh, why must you be soo boring?” Commented a voice that chilled the groups blood.

“Ah, there’s what I like; your reactions are delicious.” Chrysalis’s voice echoed from nowhere.

“Be careful, Twilight, can you make a magic shield?” Asked Sasha.

“Maybe, I think so, yes?” She stammered.

“Do it, do it now.”

“I think I’ll name you Lunch.” Came the queen’s voice as one of the unicorn’s simply disappeared, his weapon clattering as his lights winked out.

“Twilight, hurry!” Begged Rarity, who was wide eyed in terror as she stared at the spot the guard stood as the others calmly closed ranks on their missing comrade.

“And you shall be Supper.” Came her voice, closer now, as another unicorn simply popped out of existence.

“Twi, please.” Fluttershy said from underneath Rainbow Dash, who was trying to look brave, but fear leaked through her mask.

“I’m working on it.” Twilight replied, sweat beading on her forehead.

“And you shall be a nice little snack.” She said, suddenly very close as another also simply disappeared.

“Almost done.” Twilight grunted, sweat rolling off her forehead.

“And the rest can just line the fridge until I’m good and ready for them!” She laughed gleefully as a sudden liquid darkness swallowed the group whole.

“Honey, I’m home!” I yelled as I walked in through our front door, glad to be home early for once.

“How did the sales go today, hun?” she asked as she leaned out of the kitchen, a pair of baby ponies balanced on her back.

“Good, but the ponies still miss you baking for them, even though it’s been awhile since I’ve taken over, they still say there’s something off about my baking.”

“Oh, they just don’t support me marrying a loon.” She said bringing out a plate of steaming food for me as I sat in front of our tv.

“We’ve been married for 3 years, I don’t see how any of them still even remember that.” I said, staring angrily at my food.

“Oh just because you're living in a shallow allusion of the world that revolves entirely around you.” She said in a monotone voice.

“And ponies think I’m insane.” I said, ruffling her fluffy hair.

Just then my world shook, everything jumping a few feet in the air and landed neatly exactly where they were.

“Did you see that?” I asked, jumping up and looking outside to look for any damage nearby.

“See what?” She asked, confused at my sudden behavior change.

“That earthquake, surely you couldn’t have missed that.” I said, looking at her as if she was trying to joke with me.

“Is this another lame try to surprise me, I’ve told you a million times I hate surprises.” She said as she went back into the kitchen, the twins still just staring at me the entire time.

“.....Cass....” A ghostly voice from nowhere drifted nearby.

“Did you say something dear?”

“No.” She said, poking just her head out of the doorway, eyebrow raised in a classic Pumpkin face.

“Okay...” Shaking my head I went back to my favorite recliner that was my Hearts and Hooves day present last year and pulled my tray table holding my food closer.

“I must be going insane, I guess.” I mused to myself, laughing at my own lame joke.

“Oh gods!” Scootaloo prayed, “Don’t let me die like this, please I need your help!”

It seemed like ages since Scootaloo’s wings had cramped and refused to flap anymore, and longer still since she had discovered that damnable hole, and the bottom was still not in sight.

Thinking about it, she should’ve hit bottom by now, or at least seen something beyond the inky blackness surrounding her. Heck, even the wind whistling past her seemed to go by way too slowly and almost had a liquid quality to it. Turning over slowly, she had the sudden thought.

“What if this hole goes to the other side of the Earth!” She cried out, flipping suddenly in thrashing, erratic movements, only to have her wing tip brush something.

Freezing instantly, it took her brain a second to comprehend that, but when she realized what a wall meant, she had hope again.

Turning herself towards what she had felt, she forced her cramped, tired wings to flap while kicking with her hooves as if she was swimming.

After a few good pushed her head rammed into the wall and she rebounded off, clutching her head in pain, only to realize the error and latch onto the wall however she could, but found no purchase on the invisible, glassy smooth surface.

Scrabbling her hooves on it she thought something was off, but couldn’t figure it out until she tried biting the wall.

It wasn't moving at all.

Scootaloo knew she was still falling, she could feel it, but either the wall was another falling object or she wasn’t actually falling.

“Oh gods, it got me! This is it’s trap! I’m stuck here to be fed on!” She sobbed, kicking out with her hoof, connecting with the wall.

She floated on for awhile, sobbing in desperation until a green glow penetrated her eye lids. Slowly looking out, she saw where she had kicked had left a small crack, from which the light was coming from.

Once again she was filled with hope as she kicked, pounded, bit, and generally did everything she could imagine to damage the wall, and each blow slowly expanded it inch by inch until she finally broke through. A large section suddenly falling away taking her and a mass of fluid with her out, and into an actual drop of which she could see a massive beetle like hive directly below her and rushing up to meet her rapidly falling form.

“CRAP!” She screamed, as she twisted and turned just moments before she crashed through a glowing green window and belly flopped into what seemed to be a giant bowl of green jello.

Lying still in pain for a few moment, her vision blurring and spinning, she felt herself sinking into the jello. Struggling and screaming she managed to flip herself onto her back and pissed herself when a giant dark shape loomed overself. She screwed her eyes shut and waited for the pain to start, but after a moment of two of nothing happening, she opened one of her eyes and realized it was-

“Cass?” She sobbed, trying to turn over to stand up, but her each movement sinking herself deeper.

“CASS!” She yelled in desperation as she realized this, her quivering flank disappearing into the murky gloop.

“Please help me, somepony!” She sobbed, panicking, as her wings disappeared under the surface.

“Cass, Applejack, anypony.” She yelled, tears spilling down her face as she took a final last gasp of air before her face sunk under, leaving her in a world of glowing green gloop.

“Hey, psssssssssstttttttttttttt, you awake yet?” Asked a quiet voice.

“Merh, no, go away. Gods, what did I drink last night.” The guard muttered as he sat up, holding the side of his head with one of his hooves.

“Good! You are awake, I was starting to worry.” Came that same voice again.

“Oh shutup you hag and be quiet! Can’t you just let me sleep you stu- Princess!” The guard stammered as he snapped into a shaky salute the second he opened one of his eyes to look into the dreary darkness.

“Why is she in my quarters.” The guard wondered as he stumbled, the world spinning wildly.

“Guard, you must listen to me before somepony else notices you in here with me like this.” Celestia continued, oblivious to his internal conflict.

“Oh gods, don’t tell me I did That last night with one of the Princess.” He thought to himself as he felt his lunch trying hard to violently make its reappearance in the world.

“Guard, what is your name? Quickly now, I do not know when the other will discover you.” She asked

“Oh gods, I banged one of the gods and didn’t even tell her my name!” He screamed at himself in his head as his knees started shaking, hiding his face in his hooves in shame.

“Guard, don’t tell me that they hit your head too hard, I didn’t see everything that she did to you.” Celestia continued, concerned.

“Oh gods, no wonder I feel so violated, who knows where she stuck that horn!” He thought as his knees gave out and slammed his face into the damp cobblestone floor, hard. His helmet clattering noisily across the floor only increasing his headache to astronomical levels.

“Guard, wake up, I need you desperately now!” Celestia pleaded, her royal canterlot voice sliding him across the floor in a pile.

Wait.

Only the dungeons had cobblestones floors, the rest of the castle had expensive tiles.

“Oh gods! I’m in Celestia Fungeon, drugged and violated, I knew I should have listened to my mother and settled down with a nice mare, but noooo! I had to go and rape the Princess and let her doppelganger rape me in return!”

There was a dead silence as the guard realized he had just screamed that out loud. He felt his blood draining from his limbs and flooding his face in a rushing tsunami.

Looking up meekly from his awkward position, he saw Celestia’s face frozen in shock, her eyes screaming surprise and a confusion and her mouth frozen mid thought.

And that’s when he noticed she was bound to the wall with heavy chains in a very exposed way.

“Oh gods, you too! What type of place is this?” He asked, his voice disappearing into the upper octaves.

“Guard, once we are done with this, you are going to go see my therapist.” She said slowly.

“What, why?” He asked innocently as his eyes drifted too long in certain places for the Princess to appreciate.

“Why did I have to be stuck with the only pervert guard possibly in existence.” Celestia muttered to herself, as his eyes snapped up to a point above her head in embarrassment of being caught.

“So, ugh..... Was it at least fun for the both of us.” He asked nervously.

“I. Will. Kill. Discord.” Celestia vowed as she threw mental daggers at her insane neighbor, knowing he was most definitely responsible for choosing exactly which guard was brought down to ‘help’ her.

Ch. 29 Reunion

“Oh, delicious, where are you?” It sang as it slithered down the cavern, following the mental scent of it’s tiny flightless meal.

It knew it had spent far too much time with that group, and it had not expected the queen herself to arrive to ensure the capture went without a hitch. In fact, it could still feel her presence too close to for comfort, but at least she and her posse were still leaving.

Meaning none of them felt the little prey that it was salivating about. It’s spit was splashing on the ground like a leaky faucet, sending little tufts of steam up as it dissolved the rock.

Reaching a section it knew as a dead end, it had to stop itself from bouncing with glee, a half dozen or so extra mouths appearing at random point all over it’s body, all of them grinning evilly.

“Come on out my little delicious, don’t you know that friendship is yummy!” It sang, using both mental and physical feelers to grope down the offshoot looking for it’s prey.

Only to find disappointment. The little yummy morsel wasn't here!

Backtracking back the way it came from it searched hard to ensure that it had smelled correctly.

“How did it escape? It demanded the darkness, angry with itself as it returned where the trail ended it stalked up and down the space. It was frothing at the mouth in anger, spittle was flying everywhere, sending puffs of steam up as it lashed out with with it’s tentacles in anger, cracking the stones nearby and sending flakes flying everywhere.

With a grunt of anger it flopped down in anger, settling in a watery form, letting it’s body flow into the cracks and the holes in the uneven floor. Grumbling in a unsatisfied way in felt a chunk of it’s body flow into a deeper hole, and continue flowing as it didn’t feel the bottom.

Solidifying itself, it quickly forced it’s body through the hole and the maturation cocoon on the other side it found itself looking down on the hive, sitting directly above the ‘Royal Palace’. Sending one of it’s tendrils back into the cocoon, it tasted the transformative liquids and instantly tasted the fear of the young one in the fluids.

Looking down it could now also detect the faint smell of the small one all the way down, and judging by the fact there were no bright splashes of blood or body parts below, it guessed that something had caught it on its way down.

Grumbling over the lose of a wonderful meal, it glared down at the ‘Palace’ in anger. If their Princess had spent more time getting food and less time building to the excellence of the empire, then perhaps maybe so many of it’s sisters and brothers might have not starved to death.

“Well, that’ll teach it for also not taking one of the ponies from the group and keeping it also.” It mused out loud.

Giving the palace one final look before it slithered back through it’s hole it noticed something odd. One of the windows below was shattered.

Odd, knowing how the queen liked her palace to be the shining symbol for all changelings. It figured that the queen would not allow something like that to deface her precious for long, not unless if it was recent. Looking down it followed the faint mental smell to that hole.

Good enough evidence for it, it decided as it dissipated into a liquid and fell like rain down towards the palace.

“And I will be gone before the queen returns.” It sang as it fell.

Scootaloo floated in the glowing green, her body numb and unresponsive. She could not even take a breath, the jello like substance clogged her lungs but somehow she also didn’t feel like she was short of breath in the slightest. Also any aches and pains she had have had dissipated into a blissful nothing.

The only thing she could focus on was the broad human chest inches from her face. It was just a mere blur, but it was the only thing she could see. Her arms were stuck out in front of her, her hooves close enough to feel the warmth of his skin.

And what truly scared her was the fact she could see on her arms patches of fur that were missing and the skin underneath black and dead looking.

“What have I done to deserve a life like?” Scootaloo wondered.

“All I’ve done is be the best me I could have been.” She sobbed, trying with all her might to force herself forwards into Cass’s arms, to try to find some comfort in her newly-found fathers arms.

“Why, Celestia, why?” She cried as she closed her eyes tightly, tears welling up but lost in the jello.

Still floating motionless, she sobbed in helplessness for what seemed like hours when she felt something brush against the side of her face. Snapping her eyes open, she saw a human hand floating by her face.

Rolling over in my luxurious bed I felt for the familiar figure of Pumpkin, only for my foreleg to flop onto nothing. With a sigh I cracked open one of my eyes and scanned the room for any sign of my perky pink wife.

Of course if I had just used my ears I could hear her downstairs singing a silly song as she cooked a breakfast for the twins before they went to school. I still found it hard to believe that we had been married for twelve years now.

Rolling out of bed with a clop of hooves on the hardwood, I left the room still drowsy and worn out from the lack of sleep the prior night. I don’t know where she got the energy but thank goodness that when the door was shut our room was soundproof. Last thing I needed was the police interrupting us every night due to noise complaints.

That, or needing to explain to the twins. God, that was not a conversation I was ever looking forward to having with those two little girls. I guess I’m just lucky that they didn’t have their mothers energy.

Carefully stepping down the stairs into our small but comfy living room, I looked across the mementoes of a life well spent. The pictures of our wedding day, the twins off to their first day of school, and a couple of others, like their school play and such.

Smiling, knowing how lucky I’ve had to have been to have such a good life I step into the kitchen, only to have the floor fall out underneath me.

I fell for a few short feet before face-planting on the plain white floor. Grumbling for a few moments I sat up, holding my nose to stem the flow of blood from it and looked around the featureless white plain I had landed in.

“What the hell, where am I?” I asked nopony in particular.

“Pumpkin, are you here?” I yelled louder, looking up hoping to see the kitchen above me.

“Cass, you need to wake up.” Came her voice, lacking her ever present happiness.

“Pumpkin? I am awake! Where are you?”

“Right here.” She said as she laid one of her forelegs around my shoulders, scaring the crap outta me. When did she get there?

“Pumpkin, what’s going on?”

“It’s time for you to wake up Cass, there’s nothing more for you here.” She said, starting to cry.

“I’m here Pumpkin!” I yelled as I wrapped my legs around her in a tight embrace. “Please stop acting like this, you’re scaring me.”

“Cass, remember how I’ve always told you this isn’t real? I was not joking. This ‘world’ was only just a prison to keep you here so they could feed off of you. And right now you need to wake up and escape.” She sobbed into my shoulder.

“What? Escape from what, the perfect life with you and the twins? I want to stay here with you!” I yelled as she pushed herself away from me.

Ignoring what I said, she continued, “And there are others that need you.”

“And I need you, I don't know what to do without you.” I begged.

“Go, now!” Pumpkin yelled as she shoved me away.

“Pumpkin!” I yelled as I continued sliding.

“Remember, I will always love you.” She said as parts of her started floating off and fading.

“Pumpkin, no!” I sobbed as she disappeared in a blur.

Jolting awake, I cracked open my eyes, expecting to see the familiar surroundings of my bedroom, but was shocked to see a dark, dank chamber.

I instantly started crying knowing that Pumpkin had been telling the truth, my life had been fake. The loves of my life had all been nothing. Trying to move my legs I found them stuck in this jelly goo that buried me up to my face.

Looking down I saw the shape of a young orange pegasus stretched out as if trying to reach me. Trying hard I saw my hairless foreleg slowly move forward until it collided with it’s face. It’s eyes immediately snapped open and looked up to me as if pleading with me.

Mustering all of force, I reached out with my other foreleg and and grabbed it’s other shoulder and lifted. I sank down a few inches but my rear hooves found the bottom of the vat I was an and I was able to lift the small pony up and out.

The second her head broke the surface, she started coughing up the goo that had filled her lungs. After she had hacked up a good fist sized chunk, she immediately smiled and launched herself at my head, burying my face in her breast as she sobbed.

“Cass! You’re awake! Thank Celestia!” She sobbed.

“Okay, two questions.” I started, my voice sounding unfamiliar to myself.

“What?” She asked as she let go of my head and used my shoulders to climb out of the goo fully, flexing her wings to shake the goo out.

“Is that contagious?” I asked using my hoof to poke at a balding black spot on her belly.

“Umm, no, I don’t think so dad.” She said, shaking like a dog flinging goo everywhere.

“And who are you?” I asked as she froze instantly.

Author's Note

On a side note, I need a proof-reader/editor. My current editor is both busy with his own life(which I understand, both of us being military and all) and lives on the opposite side of the Earth of me....

Sooo, in other words, I'm looking for a pre/proof-reader for the upcoming chapters, just PM me and we'll go from there

(Oh, and also, I use Google docs, if you can't or won't use it, well....)

Ch. 30 Reaching Blindly

Raining down on the roof of the ‘Palace’ with a gentle pitter patter of rain, It was beaming to itself as it flowed over to the broken window and peered in. Down below it could see it’s young prey standing on an island in the middle of a hallucinogenic vat.

But that’s not what It was focusing on, underneath that tiny filly who was shaking was the most delicious thing It had ever tasted. No wonder the queen had enough energy to go up and play with the Elements. With a food source like this the hive was bound to much more energetic and active in getting it’s prey.

And if it were to....acquire such a food source and to strip it like it had planned on with the younger one, It would grow more powerful than even the queen could ever imagine, and it would be the queen that would be hiding in the caves of It’s castle!

Seeping into the room it ignored the other vats that lined the walls of the chamber and slurped down around the young pony and it’s new Delicious in the same way that a cage would descend on a helpless prey.

As it drew closer It heard the two conversing, but it didn’t care, making it’s body clear as glass as it settled into place and waited.

All good things come to those who wait, and besides, the two were delicious together, it would be a shame to kill one of them without enjoying the taste at least for a little bit.

“Dad, how can you not remember me? You just adopted me like last week!” The young balding pony protested from on top of my head.

“I don’t know, I just found out that the last fifteen years of my life have been a lie!” I grunted back, reaching out of the goo with my forelegs.

“Holy crap, what happened to my hooves!” I yelled looking at my deformed hooves in horror, nearly shaking the young pony off my head.

“Hold still before I end up back in that gunk!” She protested, “And besides, you’ve always had hands. You told me all humans have hands.”

“Hoo-mahn?” I asked.

“Yes, humans, you were apart of the military there, someplace called the United States Army.” She said, leaning down to look me in the face, her long mane drooping past her face and into the goo.

“The army?” I said, confused.

“Yes, the army, you were a Sergeant. You fell on to Applejack’s farm, kinda set up to be marrying her sometime in the near future.” She continued, poking me in the forehead with one of her hooves.

“But what’s up with my hooves though, and why am I bald?” I demanded, nearly causing her to fall again.

“I’ve told you, you’ve always looked like that, but you usually wore clothes.” She said as she lept out of the vat onto the floor with a clop.

“Clothes, why would I do that?” I asked as I gripped the side closest to me and pulled myself out and onto the floor.

“They never said why and I didn- oh.” She sputtered as she turned away blushing.

“What?”

All she merely pointed at my crotch for me to look and for me to figure out what she meant.

“How the hell do humans live with their stuff out like this?” I demanded as I hide behind the chair set up to the vat.

“Clothes, duh.” She said, still facing away from me, but I could still see her blush.

“Right.” I said as I gathered up the fabric from the chair and wrapped around myself.

“You never did answer my question.” I said as I stepped out from behind the throne.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“Who the hell are you?”

She turned around and gave me a curious once over. “What did they do to you?”

“Hell if I know, still trying to figure out these hooves?” I said pointing my fist at her accusingly.

“Anyways, It’s Scootaloo, and if you excuse me, I really have to pee.” She said as she walked towards the space between two of the vats that lined the outside of the room only to run face first into something that wasn't there.

“Oww. What the hell was that.” She said rubbing her nose.

“I don’t know.” I said as I placed my hand up against the invisible cage.

“Oh, no.” She said, suddenly backing away in fear.

“What?”

“It’s IT!” She screamed as she clambered underneath the throne.

“What?” I repeated myself.

“You should have ran.” Sang an eerie voice from all around.

“Yummy yummy in my tummy!” The same voice sang as my arm was yanked into the now visibly black wall.

“Cass, no!” Scootaloo yelled as she zoomed out of cover and grabbed my leg.

“Crap, not again!”

“Oh Celestia, why?” The guard begged from underneath the Princess.

“You ask that one more time I will banish you to the moon for more than a thousand years.” She deadpanned

“But if any other pony saw me in this position they would do worse than banish me!” He cried.

“Just hurry up and undo the magic on the chain.”

“I’m trying, but it’s a bit more complex than what I’m used too.” He protested.

“It’s just a simple magic inhibiting spell, I thought it to Twilight when she was half your age.” Celestia said fidgeting as her mane tickled the inside of her thigh.

“Well excuse me fo-” He was interrupted by a bright flash and a click.

“Umm, Celestia, what was that?” He said rising from between her legs.

“Discord.” She said as a blush spread across her face rapidly.

“WHAT! Here?” He yelled as he whipped around, looking for danger.

“With a camera.”

Thump. The guard literally smacked his face against the floor hard enough that Celestia winced.

“I am so dead.” He sobbed.

“Guard.”

“Oh gods, they’re gonna kill me!” He cried out louder.

“Guard!” Celestia yelled louder.

“My mother is going to murder me!” He wailed, rolling onto his back now, tears streaming down his face.

“Ugh, why me, GUARD!” She yelled loud enough to send the pony sliding across the floor again.

“Guard, what is your name.” She continued, using a more gentle voice.

“It’s Shining Example, ma’am.” He groaned, rubbing his ears.

“Oh the irony.” Celestia whispered to herself.

“What did you say Princess?”

“Nothing, but call me Tia, I have a feeling that we are going to be spending a lot of time alone in here, might as well get at least a bit familiar with each other.”

“Okay, Princess Tia, let me get started on those chains again.” He said trotting over.

“Is there a nickname that you go by? I think calling you Shining Example all day is going to odd real quick.” Celestia asked, her blush instantly returning as the guard crouched between her legs to work on the chains again.

“My mother calls me Shiney, but my friends call me Amp.” He said.

“Shiney, Amp, you have horrible luck when it comes to names.”

“Better than my sister, Carrot Top, she doesn’t even like carrots.”

“I met her my last time in Ponyville, I didn't know that you were related, and she made the most excellent carrot cake too if I remember correctly.”

“She does bu-yikes!” The guard squeaked as Discord suddenly appeared behind him.

He grabbed the hapless guard by his tail, and yanked him backwards through the wall, into Discords cell. Celestia heard the door leading up to the castle’s normal cells creak open and prepared herself for another confrontation with her fake.

“Oh my sweet, sweet Celestia, I brought you something else to eat!” The fake said as it walked in front of her cell, a fancy covered plate floating behind her.

“If it’s another guard, I swear I will end you in the most painful way possible and make you rue the day that you ever set sight on Canterlot.”

“Oh, big powerful Celestia is threatening me! I’m quaking in my boots. HA!” The fake mocked.

“And no, no other guard has questioned me so sadly, it’s only just something I picked up from the trash bins.” The fake said as she slid the plate across the floor so it was sitting next to the other untouched trays, including the one that still looked like there was a dead pony on it.

“I don’t know why you keep bringing me food if you’re not going to untie me so I can eat it.” Celestia said venomously.

“Nice try my little princess, but you are staying right there where you are.” She laughed as she walked away.

After a moment or two of her cloping away, there was a whoosh of flames as she resumed her form and left the under dungeon.

“So, what shall I conjure up for you to eat today?” Asked Discord as he walked back through the wall, Amp following closely behind looking like he was about to piss himself.

“It does not matter to me, but I wish she would go die in a most horrible way possible.” Celestia said angrily.

“Oh, that can be arranged.” Discord said as he snapped his fingers.

Celestia fell forwards and was only prevented from smacking her face into the ground by the quick reaction of Amp, who caught her across his back with only a small grunt.

“Why didn't you do that earlier you fiend!” Protested Amp as he lowered the surprised Princess to the ground in a seated position.

“And miss the opportunity for such a wonderful picture?” He asked as a framed picture appeared behind him.

“Burn it! Burn it with fire!” Amp yelled as he leapt towards it, only to fall through it.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t send a copy to your mother, though I might just leave a copy in the barracks for you and the other guards to enjoy.” Discord teased.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I did.”

Oh gods!” Amp cried as he collapsed onto the ground crying again.

“For a guard he has a lot of emotions that your regular guards seem to lack.” Discord commented as he say next to Celestia.

“For a guard he is the most perverted pony I’ve ever met.” Celestia said as she stretched her limbs that had not moved an inch for months.

“Obviously the selection process for guards has slipped a lot in the last couple of years.” He continued, pushing the wailing pony away from them with one of his feet.

“Obviously, and I will have to rectify that. But he seems like a good pony when he is coherent enough to understand.” Celestia continued, arching her back like a cat.

“Oh, does our sweet Princess have a crush?” Discord teased.

“What, no, never would I think of such a thing with one of my guards!” Celestia Protested as she straightened up, blush on her face.

“So are you going to stop him before he hurts himself?” He asked, pointing at the guard who was pounding his face on the floor.

“I think the better question is why did you release me?” Celestia said, giving Discord a glance from the corner of her eye.

“As I told him. Why would I waste such golden opportunities to catch such wonderfully blackmailish pictures.” Discord smirked as he pulled a salad from mid-air, complete with cake frosting, and slide it in front of Celestia.

“Discord, I am serious, what is your plan in all of this, I doubt that after locking you in a stone prison for all that time that you’d be so...”

“Devilishly handsome? Okay, I will tell you my secret, a long soak in a stone bath just open my pores right up.”

“Is anything not a joke to you?” Celestia questioned as she pulled the bowl towards herself with her hoof.

“Oh, quite a bit, like how this imposter is not bringing about anything fun! If she had it her way we would have ponies everywhere chained to walls like paintings! And how boring would that be? Changelings just don’t appreciate chocolate rainshowers like your little ponies do.” Discord said laughing.

“But surely-”

“And besides, why I do thoroughly enjoy a bit of fun, and some of it may seem like it’s oh so very ‘harmful’, name one pony who ended up in the hospital for something more serious than a tummy ache because of me. And don’t mention those Elements of Harmony, from what I understand my plan went according to plan.”

At that, Celestia froze, a heap of lettuce frozen halfway to her lips as she stared at the mad god.

“Your plan?”

“Why yes, I saw this coming, and knew they would not be able to do what they needed to do if they remained like they were. All I did was strengthen them. If anything you should be thanking me.”

“I do remember you turning my room into a house of ill-repute.”

“OH GOD! YOUR ROOM IS WHAT!” The guard screamed, eyes wide in terror.

“Ha, that was better than I could have planned.” Discord snorted as the guard started his wailing, all fours legs flailing in the air.

“I’m starting to doubt that he in one of my guards.” Celestia said, her face hidden behind her hooves.

“I wouldn’t put too much blame on him, how would you handle it if your world was suddenly inverted and you were caught doing naughty things to cake and I sent those pictures to Twilight.”

Celestia merely bowed her head into the bowl and glared at the guard as his hyperactive trantum was finally catching up to him as he wheezed into silence, face beet red.

“And now my Princess, it is my turn to ask the questions. What is it that you plan on doing? Surely you cannot go upstairs in the state you are in, just your appearance will get every guard in the kingdom chasing you down thinking that you are the imposter. And not to mention your imposter has sapped you of everything except for your fat flank and had left you more powerless than a newborn kitten.” Discord said, taking the opportunity to poke Celestia’s cutie mark, nearly losing his hand in the process as one of the plates from Celestia’s ‘meals’ embedded itself in the wall of the dungeon.

“Don’t. Touch. Her.” Amp growled as the platters from Celestia’s ‘meals’ floated around him, spinning menacingly.

“I liked it better when you were crying, allowed me to get away with teasing my Sunny-Boo.” Discord teased, as he turned the guard into a confused little colt sitting in a pile of armor.

“Call me Sunny-Boo again and I will feed you to the sun. And turn him back. I am Not changing any diapers today.”

“Fine. You’re no fun either.” With a snap of his fingers, Amp rapidly grew up, and fell promptly asleep.

“And without any distractions, we can continue, if only to sate my curiosity.”

“First, we must find my sister, surely she is powerful enough to squash this fake bug.”

“Achoo!”

“Gees Luna, that was a mighty one.” Apple Bloom said as she disentangled herself from curtains she had been blown into.

“Perhaps we should be adding less pepper and chili powder to our recipe.” Luna said weakly, she was spread eagle on the floor, eyes rolling in opposite directions.

“What cake has chili powder in it anyways?” Sweetie Belle asked, she had been beside Luna so she had missed the super snot powered ride.

“Ah dunno, it’s Scootaloo’s cook book anyways, so the hoofwriting is impossible to read.” Apple Bloom protested.

“My sister is gonna kill me.” Sweetie Belle cried.

“What? Why?” Luna asked, very concerned for the now crying filly.

“Look at her kitchen, it’s worse than the last time I tried to cook, I even somehow set the ice trays on fire! All I wanted was for Rarity to have something nice to eat if she came home!” Sweetie Belle cried, plopping down on the floor, tears welling up.

“It’s the thought that counts!” Fortune’s voice squeaked out from underneath the table, where she had built an impressive bunker made of sacks of potatoes and flour.

“When” Apple Bloom whispered, eyes downcast.

“Surely little one, the lack of a cake is not going to ruin your sisters day.”

“When.” Apple Bloom yelled at the floor.

“When what?” Luna asked.

“Sweetie Belle said if, ah know they’re coming back, no way my sister would just not come back. Ah know she won’t fail when Scootaloo and Cass need her so much. An ah know she wouldn’t come home back to me.” Apple Bloom protested, her words growing weaker and weaker before she also dissolved into tears.

Using her magic, Luna looped both the younglings in her magic and pulled them into a warm embrace, one that would be more effective is she wasn't still smaller than the both of them.

“They will come home, I bet my crown on it!” Luna said with a smile.

“I’ll take that bet!” Fortune cried as she poked her head out of the bunker.

“I know I would make a good princess!” She continued as she struggled out only to fall flat on her face as her hooves got caught.

Sweetie Belle leaned back and looked in horror at Luna as Apple Bloom fell into a fit of giggles.

“You can’t let her be princess! Next thing we know everything would become boring and mathematical!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Don’t worry girls, and besides, if I know my sister, she’s on her way here with every guard she could find and they’ll teach those changelings a lesson, so the chances of Princess Fortune have been halved! Huzzah!” Luna sang cheerfully.

“Luna, when Twilight gets back, we have to check out every joke book for you.” The three of them dead-panned in unison.

Author's Note

I apologize for any mistakes, but I'm running blind right now, literally, just got PRK done earlier this week and my vision hasn't returned 100%, but figured ya'll would enjoy this as is

CH. 31 What the Hay?

“Scoots, get away!” I bellowed as the world around me shrunk and disappeared in a black net.

“I-ugh-I can’t move!” She sobbed into my leg, I could feel her whole body shaking and quivering.

“Go, Run!” I yelled, lifting my leg and shaking it hoping to dislodge her and send her to safety, but only succeeded in losing my balance and fell back into the vat we had just fished ourselves out of.

The sickening net crawled up my arms, tiny tendrils crawling like millions of black spiders towards my face as it sunk into the jello. It was trying to pull me out of the stuff but my weight was too much for it and when the furthermost tendrils reached the jello they touched it and flinched back as if in pain.

Figuring I was screwed anyways, I grabbed whatever I could with my hands and yanked downwards, pulling face out allowing me a few sweet breaths of air, but also plunged my left side deep into the stuff. The net that was all over my left arm quickly dissolved as screams of pain rent the air and blurred my vision.

Twisting with a mighty heave I rolled to my right, grabbing the core the mass with the outstretched fingers of my battered left hand and shoved that inky solid blob as deep into the jello as I could. Holding it down with both hands as if I was trying to drown it, it thrashed and churned the contents of the vat.

The only thing it achieved was to sink itself deeper and pull me off my dangling feet and further in. A few times It managed to strike me in the face and the arms but the feeling of the Scootaloo desperately pulling on my leg only strengthened my resolve.

“You will never hurt MY SCOOTALOO!” I screamed in the faces boiling over the rapidly shrinking thing.

After a while, what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than half a minute, I felt my fingers plow through the soft flesh as the last of that thing disappeared with a final whimper.

Scootaloo helped to pull me back down to solid ground and continued to cut off circulation to my toes after I had regained balance and was standing near the throne that at some point and been knocked over.

“Scootaloo, are you okay?” I asked as I poked her in the face.

“Merh ifff goon” She groaned into the side of my leg.

“Yeah, whatever is in there does not agree with whatever that was, you can let go now before you know.” I said soothingly as I sat on the side of the throne and tried to gently pry one of her six limbs from around my leg.

“No.” She murmured.

“Scootaloo, I know you’ve been through a lot, but I need you to be brave for just a little bit longer, we need to get outta here before whoever is in charge here comes to investigate.”

“No!” She yelled as she tightened her grip, one of her wings clamping down on an invading finger, quite painfully.

“Scoots, anything that is anywhere near us will never touch a hair on your head so long as I’m your poppa.” I grunted, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

At this her head popped up so quickly I swore I heard vertebrae cracking, here eyes as large as dinner plates as she stared at my face.

“You remember me!” She squeaked.

“Nope, but it seems right, and I can’t shake the feeling in the back of my head that we’ve already had this conversation.” I said as I used my free hand to gently massage and coax her wings to loosen up before she snapped fingers off.

“But it’s a start, I knew they couldn’t knock all of you outta your big head.” She said, smiling her first genuine smile that I remember outside of the vat.

“Good, then could we also start by relaxing a little before you break all of my bones?” I asked hopefully.

“But if I let go I might lose you again!” She sobbed, her head snapping back into the side of my leg and her limbs grasping harder, bringing tears to my eyes.

“You can’t just ditch me like that, who else can I rely on to be my sidekick? And besides, all ya gotta do is look for the only pink monstrosity and you’ll find me real quick.”

“Or Pinkie Pie after someone breaks a Pinkie Promise.” Scootaloo murmured.

“Okay? I’ll assume this Pinkie Pie guy is probably also pink, but no worries, he probably isn’t as handsome as I am!” I yelled, flexing my arm muscles and giving them a quick peck of love.

“Great, the one thing everypony wishes you would forget is the first thing you remember.” She said as she loosened her grip enough that I was able to yank my now blue hand free.

“How could I forget how to be super awesome? The only way I could be cooler was if I could fly and fart rainbows.” I boosted as I swept her off my ankle and plopped her down on my shoulder.

“And there’s the horrible sense of humor. At least I know that I found the right human.”

“Now hear me now young missy, I may not remember being your dad but that don’t mean I won’t ground you.” I said as I massaged blood flow back through my foot.

“I wonder if I could form ear muffs out of the goo.” Scootaloo sighed as I stood up, her forehooves gripped around my head like a very lopsided head-band.

“If you do that, you’ll miss all the kernels of wisdom that I’m so gratefully giving you.” I teased as I poked her in the side, causing her to squirm.

“Oh, is the young lady ticklish perchance? Heh.” I grinned as I tickled the pony parrot as I limped towards the only door in the chamber.

“Hahaha, stop it, you’re gonna make me-Hahaha” She laughed, barely keeping hold of my head.

“You’ll what, tell on me to mommy, oh I’m so-” I froze mid-stride as I felt a warm trickle on the side of my neck and down my arm.

“Really?”

“I told you to stop!” She protested, flicking my forehead with her wing.

“Okay, from now on, our safety phrase is crab cake sparkly surprise.”

“Kinda a long and silly thing, and I’m sorry.”

“Fine,” I sighed, “The new safe word is bananas. Geez, you kids these days have zero imagination. And don’t worry about it. Though, seriously, when we get back wherever, not one word to anyone about you peeing on the side of my head, I would never live that down.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell everypony I know.” She teased as I started walking towards the door again.

“You do that and I’ll ground you so hard your friends will be grounded along with ya.”

“That’s bound to happen anyways as they try to break me out of that prison cell you always throw me into.” She pouted, resting her chin on the top of my head.

“Wait, really?”

“No you goof.” She replied instantly, flicking me in the forehead again with her wing.

“Careful now, I bite.”

“Eww, and if you say anything about how that’s what the ladies like, I will buck you in the head so hard it’ll end up attached to your ass.”

“Language young lady, god, who taught you all this foulness?”

“You.”

“Oh. Well at least I did a good job at it.” I said just before I kicked open the door, revealing a long hallway, many small bug like ponies all twisting around to look at us, surprised at our sudden entrance.

“Orders young miss?” I said, quickly counting the ones I could see.

“Charge!" She yelled, waving an imaginary sword in the air.

“Aye aye captain!” I roared as I charged the thick of it.

“This is the worst possible thing ever!” Rarity cried for the uptenith time.

“Say that one more time, I swear I’ll knock all of your teeth down your throat and dye your mane grey.” Threatened Rainbow Dash from above her.

“But these chains are rubbing my fur out, I’ll soon have bald spots!” She protested.

“And at least your upright and not swinging!” Rainbow Dash yelled back.

“The swingin’ part was your fault Rainbow, if you had stayed still, you would’ve been fine.” Apple Jack drawled from the hole she was chained in.

“But still upside down!”

“Girls, arguing isn’t going to get us anywhere, we must keep the Magic of Friendship strong if we want to get outta this!” Twilight said, she and Fluttershy were chained, back to back, to a stalagmite.

“Twilight, shut up.” Groaned the mighty russian pony head from between Rarity’s feet, the rest of his body was buried.

“Oh Celestia! Kill it!” Rarity screamed as she used her one free hind leg to repeatedly kick him in the face until he opened his mouth wide and bit her, trapping her hoof.

“Rarity, that’s Sasha you were kicking.” Fluttershy whispered.

“Oh, sorry my dear, I couldn’t see you down there and you frighten me.” Rarity sputtered, with grace, as Sasha spit her hoof out.

“Trust me my dear, the view that I have is not one I vant either.” He grunted.

“Aw shaddup in there!” Yelled a Changeling guard who was mockingly wearing a guard ponies armor, swinging Sasha’s hammer by it’s sling.

“Or what?” Challenged Rainbow Dash, who was still swinging.

“Or I’ll bang ya’ll up with me new toy, always did enjoy the taste of pain on a sweet mare.” He teased, jingling as he bounced up to Fluttershy.

“How about you little one, would you taste good?”

“You should be ashamed of yourself, what would your mother say if she could see you now?” Fluttershy stated as she stared into his eyes.

“Well, me mum would tell me to pass out the straws and dig in, but luckily for you I wasn't a mama’s boy.” He chuckled as he thumped Fluttershy in the knee, causing her to gasp in pain.

“You covard, you vouldn’t dare do that to me!” Roared Sasha as the sounds of Fluttershy sobbing filled the ensuing silence.

“Lookie here, we got ourselves a volunteer!” The guard sang as he jingled over to Rarity, kicking as much dirt and dust as he could manage at the back of Sasha’s head.

“Do your vorst, you pansy!” Sasha challenged.

“Hey, leave hi-” Rainbow Dash started to yell.

“Shut up pony.” Sasha growled.

“Don’t worry mate, she’ll be next!” He said as he swung the hammer into the back of Sasha’s head with a resounding crack.

“My Grandmother hit harder than that, and that vas before they replaced her hips! HA!”

“Why you little.” The guard grunted as he swung again and again, filling the chambers with meaty thunks and his grunts.

“Please, stop!” Begged Rarity, tears streaming down her face as torture unfolded itself right in front of her face.

“Oh, please do stop!” Mocked Sasha in a Rarity impersonation, “You going to put me to sleep!”

“Ragh!” The guard roared as he swung with all of his might in a downward crushing blow that ended with a solid thunk.

The chamber was silent for a long moment as Rarity and Fluttershy sobbed. Rainbow Dash was scowling at the lone guard as he huffed and puffed. Twilight was frozen, her face in shock, and Applejack could be faintly heard struggling with her chains in her hole off to the side.

“Ha, that taught that stupid pony!” The guard cried triumphantly.

“Tought me vhat?” Sasha said in his normal, pain free tone, accent not slurred in the slightest.

“But, how?” Protested the guard.

“Let me show you.” Sasha said as the rock around his shoulders crumbled and fell away, all the chains holding the others snapped open with a dull grey flash as he flicked his mane out of the way of his horn.

The others quickly rushing to surround the lone guard, with the exception of Rainbow Dash who landed on her face and was sitting cross eyed against the wall. Fluttershy was leaning up against Twilight.

“But, that’s impossible, you can’t be an alicorn!” The guard squeaked, falling to his rump.

“Vhy, because I’m a colt? Or maybe because this is the first time you’ve felt fear.” Sasha growled in tones so long that the others felt it in the base of their lungs.

“Oh, and that is mine.” He said as the hammer slipped from the changeling loose grasp and floated above him.

Sasha, standing tall above him, his face hidden by the shadows, only his teeth were visible in a large grin by the glow of his horn as he mimicked the guard.

“Lookie here, we got ourselves a volunteer!”

“Mommy!” The Changeling squeaked, his stolen armor rattling.

“BOO!” Yelled Fluttershy in his ear. His eyes simply rolled into the top of his head and he fainted in a slumping heap. His stolen helmet flopping off and rolling over and bumping Rainbow Dash’s hoof, popping her out of her daze.

“When the hay did you become an Alicorn?”

Ch. 32 Orders

“Why didn’t you tell us you were an Alicorn?” Rainbow Dash demanded, nose to nose with Sasha, who looked utterly bored.

“You didn’t ask, now me must go.” He said, trying to turn away only for Rainbow Dash to grab either side of his head.

“What kind of egg-head excuse is that?”

“Russan, now we must go, or did you forget vhy ve came here?”

“No..” Rainbow Dash replied sullenly.

“But doesn’t that mean your royalty?” Asked Twilight.

“Vhat? No, I am but a guard pony, come, ve must go get Scootaloo.”

“But my good prince, we simply must meet after we leave this dreadful cave and let me take you somewhere nice, and romantic.” Rarity swooned, obviously only hearing the word ‘royalty’.

“Really, of all times to hit on a married stallion, you pick now?” Sasha looked at her in surprise and disgust.

“Oh, you’re married, do you have any foals?” Fluttershy asked.

“Ah reckon that this is not the greatest of times to get side-tracked ladies. We did come down here for a very good reason ah hope ya’ll remember.” Applejack drawled ashamed of her friends.

“Yes, at least one of you crazy mares is not insane.” Sasha grunted as he pushed on towards the door to the cells.

“Just one question before we go. How old are you?” Twilight asked.

Sasha froze where he was and his head drooped. His hammer floating next to him drifted towards the floor until it settled with a thunk.

“Last time I counted I was just over twelve hundred years again, but a good deal of those I vould not consider living.” He said solemnly.

“And now, the next pony vho asks me a question shall feel my wrath.” He threatened as his hammer snapped up into the air.

“Oh, I’m so afraid, what are you going to do, torture us tales of your youth?” Rainbow Dash teased.

“I’m glad you asked.” He said grinning evilly as he turned around slowly.

“So, Rainbow Dash, who is the best flyer here?” Twilight asked.

“Mer!” She protested through the magic band the was bound tightly across her muzzle.

“Oh, what’s that? I don’t hear any protests, so I must be the best flyer!” She teased, poking the very angry pegasus with her wing.

“Twilight, you’re being a meanie.” Fluttershy whispered.

“Oh, it’s just good fun, and we need something to keep our spirits up and I don’t think galavanting through changeling infested caves singing songs would be the greatest of ideas.”

“But we could giggle at the ghostie’s!” Protested Pinkie Pie.

“Please shut her up before she starts bouncing again, my back still hurts from that cave in.” Sasha grumbled.

“Though I do find it quite surprising that we are finding so few changelings, I would have thought that they would be filling these caves to the brim.” Rarity said, “Don’t get me wrong though, I am appreciating the time to brush my mane.”

“Hush, there is a door ahead.” Sasha said, creeping ahead and putting his ear to the door.

He stayed with his ear to the door for a long while, hammer slightly twitching like someone drumming their fingers.

“So, what do you hear?” Pinkie whispered in his ear after she got bored, startling him enough that he smacked his forehead against the doorframe.

“Pinkie, don’t do that!” Twilight whispered as she yanked her friend back with her magic.

“Shush! They vill hear us!” Sasha hissed through gritted teeth.

There was a few silent moments as all of the mares behind Sasha covered Pinkie’s mouth with their hooves. They all looked fearfully at Sasha as he held his ear to the door, no pony daring to make even so much noise as to breath, fearing it would alert whatever was beyond the threshold.

It seemed like forever before Sasha sighed and backed away from the door, all the girls released their held breaths and relaxed. Pinkie Pie took the opportunity to push their hooves down and popped up just as the door exploded inwards in splinters.

“Run you little bitches before I smash your ugly heads in!” The monster screamed as it grabbed Sasha by the face and threw him across the room into the mares, knocking them flying like bowling pins.

The thing then rushed forwards and grabbed Rarity by the tail and threw her behind him, sending her tumbling across the floor and turned towards Rainbow Dash who bucked him in the face, knocking him back into the waiting grasp of Twilight. Twilight used her magic to attempt to lift him up into the air, the thing noticing it, produced a rock from nowhere and twisted around as he pitched the rock with deadly accuracy and blinding speeds.

“Stop!” Applejack yelled, pushing Fluttershy behind her and reaching towards Sasha.

Sasha, who had barely recovered from the toss, used his magic to pick up his hammer and send it hurtling towards that thing’s head. Halfway through it’s deadly flight a little orange ball of fur collided with it and they both crashed on the floor with a tumble.

“STOP!” Applejack screamed as she pushed Rarity into Twilight, crushing them against the wall.

“Applejack!” Scootaloo cried from underneath Sasha’s hammer.

“Scootaloo?” Rainbow Dash sputtered, halting in the air, only to be snatched up by the tail and swung like a flail at Sasha.

“Cass?” Sasha yelped as he rolled out from underneath the blow, using his magic to yank Rainbow Dash free.

“Weird talking pony?” Cass said, looking confused at the ponies who had all stopped attacking him, half of them hugging Scootaloo, the other half looking at him with smiles.

“I can’t breath!” Scootaloo cried from the depths of Applejacks hug.

“Comrade, it is good to see you!” Sasha roared as he trotted up to Cass, who backed away cautiously.

“Cass?” Applejack asked, noticing him wariness.

“Yeah, he kinda doesn’t remember anything and for some reason thinks he’s a pony.” Scootaloo explained as Applejack passed her off to Fluttershy, who instantly began to search her for injuries.

“A pony, now that’s the craziest thing ah’ve heard! Just look at ya, you’re obviously not. Bein’ a vertical type of critter.” Applejack laughed as she walked towards him.

“Yeah, this is just a crazy world miss Jazz Apple.” Cass said, eyes darting between the ponies before stopping on on in particular.

“Pumpkin?” He asked, head tilted.

“Potato!” Pinkie said her usual happy way, bouncing in place.

“Pumpkin, do you remember me?” Cass asked, the others forgotten.

“Of course I remember you! I don’t forget my friends!” She sang cheerfully as she was bouncing in circles around Cass.

“Do you remember me or this.....human?” He asked, dread creaping into his facial features.

“Well as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been a human, though if you could turn into a pony that would be really cool! I’ve always wondered what you would look like as a pony. And it would let me throw a “Happy Becoming a Pony Party!”

Cass looked crestfallen as he leaned against the wall, a single tear rolling down his face.

“What? Do you not want a party?” Pinkie asked.

“No, it’s just I remember you as my wife. We had 2 foals of our own and we loved each other very much. You were always a bit odd but that didn’t stop me. Hell, we had to soundproof the bedroom cause we would make loud lov-”

“Cass! I don’t want to be mentally scarred for life!” Scootaloo cried from Fluttershy’s grasp.

“Don’cha worry about that Sugercube, we’ll get everything straightened out when we get back to the farm. Maybe Luna can do something about getting your old memories back.” Applejack said as she approached Cass, laying a hoof in the small of his back.

“Dr. Luna?”

“No, Princess Luna. How much did they mess with your head?” Twilight asked.

“Dr. Luna! You’re here, I didn’t notice ya. Is there something different about you?” Cass asked as he snapped into a fully upright posture.

“Hun, that’s not Luna, that’s Twilight.”

Cass ignored Applejack and continued studying Twilight with a wary look, causing Twilight to shift uncomfortably under his gaze, scratching the back of her head with her wing.

“Wait, when the hell did you become an Alicorn Doc?” He asked.

“WHAT HAPPENED HERE?” Chrysalis screamed when she entered the royal feeding chamber to see her precious vat empty except for a black smudge.

“I do not know my quee-” The changeling suddenly stopped as his throat collapsed, a horribly strong magical force squeezing it shut.

“Find out now! As in, if I don’t know where that human went in the next five minutes, there will be hell to pay!” She raged as the changeling in her grasp flopped as the magic tightened, a sharp crackling noise heard throughout the chamber as every changeling rushed out of the chamber in high speed.

After they had all made their exodus, minus the still twitching one in her grasp, the queen turned back to the vat. Using her magic, she vacuumed the black smudge clear of the vat. The inky blackness swirled above her head as she contemplated it for a moment before forcing it down the throat of the captive changeling in her grasp.

The changeling eyes shot open and the body struggled for a moment before Chrysalis dropped it on the floor and walked to her throne. She stood it back up with her magic and sat in it and watched the changeling as the body thrashed on the ground, small whimpers of pain and whispers of pleas were all ignored by the bored queen as she studied one of her hooves.

In just a short about of time, the body ceased it’s movements, and sat up, sitting statue still, head bowed in shame. Chrysalis looked at it, studying it for a moment before she used her magic to grip it by it’s wings and yanked it to herself, inches from her own face.

“Explain yourself.” She growled.

“Yes mother.” It whimpered in pain, unused to a physical body.

“I was following a young foal through the caves. That’s when I discovered the group and alerted your guards to them. Shortly after your guards captured them. After that I followed the young one to here and the thing in the vat had already escaped. I had planned on recapturing it and the foal to give them to you as gif-”

“Do not lie to me!” Chrysalis screamed in It’s face as she used her magic to twist the wings of the helpless thing.

“I was planning on capturing them both and feeding off of them, that thing just tasted so good that I couldn’t resist! But that thing defeated me by dissolving me in the Poison Joke! If it wasn't for you Mother I wou-”

“Shut up, I don’t care for your begging anymore than your lying, you will go find my human and this young one and bring them back to me. If you succeed I just might let you live long enough to serve me again.” Chrysalis growled as she stared into It’s eyes.

“Yes mother.” It said, nodding fast and hard.

“And before you go and run away....” Chrysalis said as It heard a snap around it’s neck.

“This collar bounds you to my will, you fail me, or run away again, I will not even have to find you to destroy you. And don’t bother trying to remove it, the only way to get rid of it is to remove the limb it’s attached to.” Chrysalis said as she threw It through the open doorway into the body strewn hallway beyond.

Rolling for a few feet, It skidded to the stop at the bottom of a stairwell leading upwards. It reached to it’s neck to feel the cold metal that fit snugly around it’s neck.

“Stupid mother, always trea-”

“I can hear you through the collar.” Chrysalis’s voice echoed down the hallway as the collar tighten marginally.

“I am on my way mother! I will have your human and that foal as fast as I can.” It yelped as it rushed up the stairwell, tripping several times in it’s haste.

“Oh sweet Celestia! Somepony remind me to never do this again!” Amp screamed in a girlish voice as he rode discord through the sky.

“Can someone remind me why we had to fly there.” Celestia grumbled, quite angry about being carried by Discord.

“Because if I teleported you your fake would feel the discharge of magic. And it also gives me the chance to do this.” He said as he flipped, dumping the unicorn guard off his back, only a few thousand feet up in the air.

“Again?” He screeched as he plummeted towards the Earth.

“Are you going to catch him this time or am I going to have to again?” Celestia asked as her horn glowed.

“Oh don’t worry, he will have a soft landing.” Discord chuckled as he angled down.

“What do you mean by soft?” Celestia asked warily.

“Oh, we’ll see.” He laughed evilly as the town of Ponyville appeared through the cloud cover below.

“I swear, if he gets hurt I will banish you to the sun and turn you into stone.” She threatened.

“He’ll be fine.” Discord promised as they landed in the middle of an orchard.

The two walked through the orchard, Discord stopping every now and then to turn trees into something else, only to turn the back as Celestia glared at him. After a mile or two the reached the edge of the orchard to look at the Sweet Apple Farms. It looked like a normal peaceful day for them except that Ice cream cake was smeared and splattered everywhere.

“Discord, what did you do?” Celestia demanded.

“Soft serve landing.” He laughed.

“Why had I expected something sane?” Celestia sighed as she walked towards the front door of the house.

“Oh, what fun is there to be sane? It’s all so boring.” Discord snickered from behind Celestia as she knocked on the door.

“One of these days you’re going to get me in more trouble than you are worth.” Celestia grumbled as the heard a slight scuffling of lock being unlocked.

“And when that happens I will be there with a camera to capture it for future generations!” He sang gleefully as the door creaked open just a hair before it was thrown open and Celestia was tackled.

“Sister, you came! I thought after you ignored my letters that you hated me!” The tiny Luna cried from her sister’s embrace.

“Sister, I have important information to share with you.”

“You know where the took Cass and my guards?” Luna asked.

“They? Who?” Sister, I have been out of touch. I must really tell you the what has happened in the capitol.” Celestia sputtered, the information hitting her too fast.

“We are assuming that he had something to do with it. Did he break his parole again? And I guess we know who to blame for the cake” Luna asked, poking her head out of her sister’s grasp and glaring at Discord.

“His parole? He should still be frozen in stone my sister.” Celestia stated, confused.

“You released him to Fluttershy’s care to be rehabilitated a while back.” Luna explained.

“I did now.” Celestia said, turning her heated gaze towards Discord.

“What, you expected me to not take the weakening of my prison and not exploit it? You wound me with your insults my chubby Princess.” Discord said as he poked Celestia cutie mark again.

“I will end you.” Celestia growled

“In front or widdle Woona’s eyes, she be scared for wife and have nwightmare’s” Discord said in a cutesy voice, picking up Luna and hugging her in front of him.

“Sister, may I have the honors?” Luna asked, squirming in his grasp.

“Certainly sister, I’ll hold him, you hit him sound good?” Celestia said, using her magic to pin Discord to the wall.

“Wonderful sister.” Luna replied as she pulled a feather from her wing.

“No, don’t, we must go to the rescue!” Discord begged as the feather approached his exposed side.

“Rescue of who?” Demanded Celestia.

“Cass, the Elements of Harmony, and a few other all need our help.” Discord blurted out.

“Why are you being helpful? Luna questioned, twisting the feather slightly, causing him to flinch away from it.

“Do I need a reason?”

“Yes, you do!” Luna said as she wiggled the feather.

“Fine! If they succeed in what they are planning, my stone prison will be a better place to be than the rest of the world.” He laughed as the feather teased his side.

“What are they planning?” Celestia asked.

“But that would ruin the story my dear.” He protested

“The story?” Luna asked.

“And besides,” Discord continued, ignoring Luna as he winked out of existence to reappear behind the princesses, “We have some ponies to rescue.”

“Let me go, the Princesses are outside with that mad...Thing! I cannot let them be threatened by him!” Amp grunted, struggling with bandage cocoon he was trapped in.

“But we must help you! You hit that ice cream so hard it exploded everywhere.” Sweetie Belle explained.

“The cake exploded, I didn’t, so therefore I’m fine. Now let me go!” Amp demanded.

“But we could earn our cutie marks for being nurses!” Apple Bloom yelled in Amp’s ear.

“Oh Celestia, I’m gonna die! Somepony, help!” Amp screamed as Sweetie Belle appeared at the edge of his vision with a large medical bag.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Granny Smith to wake up before surgery?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Shouldn’t you not conduct surgery at all?” Demanded Amp.

“Don’t worry, Apple Bloom. Rarity has taught me how to sew very well. And besides, as long as he doesn’t squirm too much he’ll be fine, I saw this all on TV” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh sweet mother of Celestia and Luna, somepony help me before they kill me!” Amp screamed, thrashing around.

“Aren’t we going to need some sort of knock-out gas?” Apple Bloom asked, the two crusaders ignoring the guard.

“Please tell me you two didn’t start without me?” Asked Fortune as she trotted into the room wearing hospital scrubs.

“Celestia, I know you’re outside. HELP!” Amp screamed, thrusting himself out of the bed, landing on the floor in a heap.

“Girls, what is the hootin’ and hollerin’ happenin’ in here?” Granny Smith asked as she entered the room.

“Nothing Granny, just trying to earn our cutie marks.” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom answered in unison.

“An’ keepin’ this stallion wrapped up, now you girls go downstairs and play in the living room.” Granny said as she walked over to the trapped guard.

The Crusaders left the room, grumbling about the lost opportunity as Granny Smith propped Amp up against the wall and sat down the the rocking chair across the room.

“I thank you ma’am, but I have to go, I’m in a bit of a hurry, if you could unwrap me that would be greatly appreciated.”

“Oh you young whippersnappers, always in a hurry. Now in my day-”Granny began

Ch. 33 Escape

“Come, ve must hurry.” Sasha whispered, rushing the girls up a stairwell.

“I don’t see why you're in such a hurry. I took out like hundreds of those things by myself.” Cass boasted.

“They vere vorkers, not guards or soldiers, that you ambushed. A proper soldier vould destroy you.” Sasha grumbled, pushing the human up the stairs.

“Blah blah blah, whatever, this body is weird but powerful, nothing can stop me!” Cass boasted.

“You vould be vise to listen to me Sergeant.” Sasha warned.

The group continued up the stairs for miles, the endless loop having no way to get off it, forcing the group to continue away from the heart of the hive. Everytime the group would slow or stop, a sound below would force them to speed up.

“Is that what I think it is?” Asked Scootaloo, who was being carried by Sasha at the moment.

“I smell fresh air!” Pinkie Pie yelled, zipping around the bend.

“Pinkie, wait up!” Twilight called after her rapidly disappearing back.

“Hurry guys!” Her reply echoed back.

The group, catching their second wind, sprinted as fast as the could, being suddenly blinded as they stepped into the sunny brightness of the outside. The sky was clear and they could see the Sweet Apple Orchards directly in front of them. The apples swaying invitingly from the branches in the breeze. The sweet smell of apples drifting up to them in their high perch halfway up a cliff.

“So, uh, how are those of us without wings going to get down?” Cass asked, leaning over and peering down the sheer drop.

“You could just jump.” Applejack said sourly, kicking a rock over the edge.

“Or, before we go doing something silly, those of us with wings can carry you down.” Twilight said, glaring at Applejack.

“But there are only 4 of us with wings, and who knows how long it will be before they get here.” Rainbow Dash said, the gears churning in her head.

“I can fly!” Protested Scootaloo.

“Sorry kid, but you look like you’re molting and you were never a flyer before, I don’t think you could carry someone else down.” Rainbow Dash said, laying a hoof on Scootaloo’s back.

“But I can help!” She protested, looking like she was about to cry.

“Don’t vorry little one, ve got this.” Sasha comforted before continuing.

“Now, Fluttershy, you carry pink one, Rainbow, you carry Applejack, Tvilight, you carry Rarity, I vill carry fat ass here.” Sasha ordered, the paired ponies settling together and beginning their descent.

“Gods, you vill lay off the cakes when ve get back.” Sasha grunted as he lifted Cass up and over the edge.

“When we get back your going on an exercise regime old man.” Cass teased back.

“Old man? I vill tea-” Sasha grunted in pain and dropped like a stone as a black streak struck him from behind.

“Cass!” Applejack screamed as he plummeted past her, his arms outstretched, clutching at air.

“Crap!” Cass screamed in return.

“I got ya!” Scootaloo yelled as she grabbed his arm and flapped with all of her might, barely slowing his fall. Sasha’s lifeless body falling past and landing with a crunchy bounce.

“Gah!” Twilight screamed in pain as the streak hit her next, both her and Rarity plummeting.

“Scoot, drop me and get outta here!” Cass yelled.

“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash grunted the streak struck her square in the face, sending her spinning through the air in lazy circles. Applejack flapping her arms uselessly as she also fell and landed next to her fallen friends.

“I can’t!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Help!” Fluttershy cried in pain as the streak landed on her back, revealing itself to be a changeling as it struck her in the back of the head with a rock.

Twisting around, Cass used his body weight to fling Scootaloo into the orchard, falling the last 30 feet or so onto his face with a thud.

Scootaloo, surprised by the sudden flinging, crashed limply through the woods before she struck a tree with a thwack. She slide down onto the ground, gasping for air, as she watched Pinkie Pie land on Applejack through a gap in the trees. None of the ponies on the ground nor Cass moved a hair as the changeling landed in their midst. The evil thing grinning as it kicked the bodies of her friends and family, checking to see if it had killed any of them by mistake.

“Leave them alone!” She screamed, her own voice sounding pitiful to herself, the changeling snapping around to face her.

“Oh, my little snack, how are you doing?” It asked, swaggering up to Scootaloo, swaying it’s hips in a cat like fashion.

“You!” Scootaloo hissed venomously.

“Yes, it’s me, your pal. And I still haven’t found my bwig sister.” It mocked as it transformed into a small red filly, laughing as it stood above Scootaloo as she struggled to even breath.

“Ragh!” Scootaloo screamed, lunging forwards, smashing her forehead on it’s snout with a crunch that could be heard for miles.

“OW! That hurt! Now I’m going to have to punish you.” It hissed, holding it’s snout as it transformed back.

“You’re the one deserving punishment.” Scootaloo gasped as she stood up, pain lancing from her midsection.

“Oh, mighty words from one too weak to stand without shaking.” It mocked, circling her to the right.

“Weak words for something I’ve already destroyed.” Scootaloo countered, limping the opposite direction of it.

“But now you do not have your protector, you will be an easy foe now that he is gone.”

“As if! I’ve had awesome teachers in being awesome! I can take ya!” Scootaloo boasted, her voice shaking.

“We will see.” It muttered just before pouncing on Scootaloo, sending the two of them rolling across the ground.

The two of the rolled into a tree, Scootaloo striking blindly with her hooves, some of them actually landing on her foe. It morphed it’s forehooves into scythes and tried to cleave her in half, but their sheer size made it hard for her to reach a target so close.

Scootaloo got her hind legs underneath her and bucked as hard as she could, aimed for the things back legs that were braced on the ground, causing it to fall forwards, embedding it’s scythes in the ground. It being stuck gave her the opportunity to strike again with her forehead, crushing the already broken nose, again and again, before it demorphed and popped backwards in pain.

Scootaloo, lunging forwards, wrapped her legs around it’s waist and tossed it sideways across the ground. It skidded and rolled to a stop before she pounced, leaping high into the air. She came down hard, smashing both of her rear hooves onto it’s collar, crushing the metal inwards with a sickening crunch.

“You will leave him alone!” Scootaloo screamed in it’s face, tears streaming down her face as she struck downwards into it’s defenseless face over and over again as a black liquid leaked out of it’s mouth.

“Oh, I can agree.” It’s voice leaked out from somewhere, “You will be the one doing the harm!”

The liquid from it’s mouth leaped to Scootaloo’s face, forming to it like a mask as Scootaloo clawed at it, trying to pull it off as it poured itself down her throat.

Scootaloo struggled of breath, gasping and wheezing on the ground, thrashing against the thing she felt moving around in her chest. It slowly subsided, leaving Scootaloo feeling gross and need of a shower. But something else was wrong, she just couldn’t place her hoof on it.

“Oh there is nothing wrong, but everything right!” Her skull buzzed.

Scootaloo went wide eyed in terror, clutching her the side of her headl.

“Oh yes, I’m in here and there isn’t anything you can do about it.” It sang, teasing her.

“NO!” Scootaloo whimpered, falling forward into the fetal position.

“Easy now, don’t want to hurt my new body do you?” It asked, Scootaloo’s limbs not doing what she told them to as they flexed out, forcing her to stand back up.

“It’s still my body.” She grunted, trying with all of her might to move her legs.

“No it’s not, your now just a passenger. One that will be forced to watch as I consume your friends...”

“No.” Scootaloo sobbed.

“Your loved ones....”

“No!” She yelled, struggling so hard her nose bled.

“And especially your family, beginning with that Cass of yours.” It laughed.

“NO!” Scootaloo raged, smashing her hooves against her face.

“What are you doing?” It demanded.

“Not letting you do a thing!” She yelled, pulling at her ears, wings flapping out in an arch.

“No! You cannot dare defeat me! I am a changeling god! Second only to the queen herself! You are just a mere filly!” It screamed in her head.

“You will get out of my head.” She screamed as she slammed her face into the grass.

“Stop, please, you’re killing me!” It begged, it’s voice growing weaker.

“What if that is the point?” She grunted, scraping her face through the dirt, her blood mixing with dirt making a rapidly expanding spot of mud.

“Please, you cannot do this!” It begged, the buzzing barely noticeable.

“Get out of my head, now!” She ordered, her voice spraying a fine black mist from her mouth and nose.

“No!” It whispered, barely louder than a breeze.

With a final puff of breath, Scootaloo hacked up a chunk of tar, that hit the ground and bounced once before settling on the ground. It quickly dissipated, leaving no trace of it being there.

Scootaloo crumpled on the ground, her eyes blurry and her head fuzzy. She twisted towards the others and crawled towards them. Her body dragging against the ground as she gasped in pain.

“Cass! Applejack!” She cried as she reached towards them, vision fading to black near the edges.

With a last gasping cry, she collapsed in a heap. The world escaping her grasp leaving her in the warm, comforting embrace of unconsciousness.

“The fuck did I drink last night?” Cass grunted as he sat up, eyes scrunched shut as he clutched the back of his head.

“Pumpkin?” He called out after a moment, opening his eyes a fraction, scanning the surroundings.

“Oh, yeah.” He sighed sadly as he saw the ponies collapsed around him.

Attempting to stand up, he found his left leg refused to take any weight, the painful way too. As he fell to the ground again, he saw an orange fur ball in the nearby tree. A black shape heaped behind it.

“Atta girl.” He grunted as he pulled himself towards her.

“Cass?” Applejack called from under Pinkie Pie.

“Here Applejack, you okay?”

“No. I don’t know if I can make it back to the farm.” She replied feebly.

“And you won’t have to.” Luna said, picking up Scootaloo gently with her magic and carrying her over.

“Princess!” Applejack grunted.

“We told you to call me Luna, and we meant it.” Luna chided softly as she scooped Pinkie Pie up off of Applejack.

“And besides, in the condition you are in you shouldn’t be talking.” Celestia said, appearing from the same direction as Luna did, her magic picking up ponies as well. “You need to conserve your strength.”

“Princess!” Applejack gasped as she was lifted into the air.

“Oh come now, is that the only thing you are capable of saying now? Oh how boring this is going to be.” Discord drolled on as he stepped into the light, gently picking up Fluttershy with his arms and holding her like a newborn.

“Now ah know ah hit my noggin hard.” Applejack sighed as she slipped back into unconsciousness.

“Who the fuck are you.” Cass grunted as Luna lifted him up, draping him over her side so he could use her as a crutch.

“I know I have some explaining to do, but in all due time, for now, we need to get you back home. It is not safe to tarry here.” Celestia said, turning back the way she came.

“Perhaps we could stop for some ice cream?” Discord suggested, a cone appearing in his hand.

“Shut up Discord.” The Luna responded instantly, ignoring the cone stuck to the side of her head.

“Guard, go to town and gather the nurse and bring her here.” Celestia ordered as she strode into the house, a string of unconscious ponies floating behind her.

“Ma’am?” The guard questioned, looking at Luna.

“Go, now, I'll explain why my sister is here later, but don’t tell anypony, just get the nurse and be fast about it.” Luna sighed as she started settling ponies on whatever soft surface she could.

The guard, noticing the urgency in her voice, and took a second to glance the wounded, and then rushed out of the door leaving a puff of dust in his wake.

“You’re back!” Came a shrill cry from upstairs.

“Shh!” Luna scolded as a trio of heads poked over the edge of the stairs.

“Can we help?” Sweetie Belle asked, concern all over her face as she looked at her sister.

“Yes, go with Discord and gather all the medical supplies you can.” Celestia ordered.

“Oh, great, place the immortal god of chaos on babysitting duty. What’s next, you’re gonna ground me?” He grunted as he set Fluttershy gently on the couch.

“Think of it this way, I trust you enough to help them find medical supplies to help Fluttershy and the others.” Celestia said as she glared at him.

After Discord left into the kitchen, Cass turned to Celestia and asked, “I’m getting the vib you don’t really like Discord.”

“I would be in a much greater mood if I hadn’t been locked in my own dungeons for months on end to only be released by one of my great rivals as he poked me in the ass and called me fat. All in all you can spare me some slack because I have yet to discuss what you are.” She said, her tone cold enough to freeze lava.

“Sister, do we need to go acquire you some cake?” Luna asked, looking at her sister fearfully after her little outburst.

“Oh yes, that would be wonderful, but not chocolate! I swear that’s the only thing that Discord can conjure up.” She sighed as she turned her magic on Twilight, her bruises and cuts healing before Cass’s eyes.

“If you can heal them like that why are you getting nurses?”

“Because I can only do the superficial, I’m a god, not a doctor.”

“Lame excuse, but whatever. I still can’t shake the feeling that I should be trying to tear your teeth out one by one, seeing how you don’t have fingers to be breaking.”

“Ma’am, should he be talking you like that?” Amp asked from the top of the stairs, his sword half out of it’s scabbard.

“Your consort?” Cass asked as he hobbled over to the lazy chair and plopped down in it.

“NO!” Amp violently protested, Cass staring wide eyed at the sword that suddenly appeared, embedded in the chair between his legs, a few centimeters of a travesty.

“So I see I found a touchy subject not to talk about.”

“And if you ask Discord for pictures I will be sure to gouge your eyes out.” Amp threatened as he stepped down the stairs.

“Sister, are we all getting along in here?” Luna asked as she reentered the living room.

“Perfectly, in fact I was about to start a good hearted game of poker, should I deal you in?” Celestia asked sarcastically.

“Fine then no cake for you.” Luna said, placing the plate on the end table.

“Did I miss something?” Discord asked as he walked in with a bag with a red cross on it.

“Only end of the world as immortal gods are arguing and fighting with cake.” Cass replied sourly, sword still stuck in an awkward spot, despite his attempts to remove it.

“Oh that happens more often than you think.” Discord laughed as he settled down next to Fluttershy, kit open.

“Foul being, what have you done with the fillies?” Amp asked.

“Oh, them, I turned them into potted plants and threw them in the trash, they said I looked funny.” He said as if that explained everything.

Amp, jumping into action, lept over the couch, yanked his sword free, and sprinted into the kitchen.

“The little ones are in the basement looking for the extra blankets, I saw them go down there.” Luna said as she levitated a gauze roll towards herself and Cass.

“Oh boo on you widdle woona, ruining my fun, you should be ashamed. Next your going to be caught doing naughty things to your guards.” Discord said as a picture appeared in his hand.

“Discord, don’t.” Celestia warned.

“But then again, he was the one doing all the work, she just accepted him.”

“I will banish you to the sun.” She threatened.

“Sister, what do he mean by all of this?” Luna asked, halfway done tieing a splint on the grimacing human.

“Oh, but I cannot show you widdle woona, it’s not safe for your eyes.” Discord sang, growing a third arm just to hold the picture so he could use both hands for bandaging.

“Sister?”

“Fine, he took a compromising photo of me.” Celestia sighed.

“And?” Discord egged on.

“Amp.” Celestia said, burying her face in hooves in an attempt to hide her blush.

“Who?” Luna asked, not noticing that she was tightening the bandages too tight and that Cass was lifting himself out of the chair, face frozen in pain.

“The overzealous guard who will someday be the death of me.” Celestia said, yanking the cake from the end table, ignoring her sisters attempt to block it.

“Overzealous is not the word I would use. I think highly devoted to his Princesses wants is more accurate.” Discord said with a flourish.

“Have you nothing better to do?” Celestia demanded.

“Other than take up gardening, no. But I do think somepony should answer the door and let the nurse in.”

That, of course was unneeded, the nurse merely barged into the building, literally dragging the guard pony by his tail. She took one look around the room before pouncing on Rarity, a large medical bag bouncing on her hip as she started applying aid.

“Hello?” Luna asked, looking confused.

“Quiet, you should have not moved them. You might have made injuries to their spines worse. If we are lucky some of them might still be able to walk.” Nurse Redheart spat at them.

Luna, opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a group of heavily armed guards burst through the door, knocking the already battered thing clean off it’s hinges. They swarmed the room, surrounding Celestia, and leveled their weapons with her face.

“Princess Luna, we just received word that this is an imposter.” One of the yelled out, poking Celestia in the cheek with his spear.

Author's Note

bonus points for anyone who read the title in Dory's voice (From Finding Nemo)

Ch 4. The party to remember

The party, now in full swing, was quite fun, despite the games being more like I was accustomed to seeing at a child's party, but somehow Pinke made them fun and challenging. The DJ had been playing some harsh dubstep for hours, but when Applejack noticed me twitching at some of the particularity harsh beats she went and talked to the white unicorn standing behind the DJ station, convincing her to switch to a slower tempo and less 'explosive' sounding music.

She trotted back over to the couch that I was sitting on and plopped down next to me.

"So what do ya—" I quickly shushed her, motioning towards the two sleeping baby ponies in my arms who, somehow, were able to sleep through all the music and noise of a lively party, but started stirring when anyone tried talking to me directly.

"Aww" Came her response as they snuggled closer to me, apparently I was their newest favorite pillow, hell, when Mrs. Cake tried to take them to their crib earlier they instantly woke up and started crying until I held them again.

"So what do ya think of the party," she said, as she scootched uncomfortably closer to me so she could whisper into my ear.

Blushing slightly, I whispered back, "I'm still amazed that she pulled it off this quickly."

"She's had a lot of practice, its kinda her thing."

"Umm, you feelin’ okay Appleja—" Applejack shushed me with her hoof pointing at the twins, who had stirred.—

"Call me AJ *hiccup*, have I mentioned you look good with kids?" Apparently that punch had been spiked at some point.

"How much have you had to drink AJ?"

"Enough to do this!" she said with a grin as she pecked me on the cheek. "Hehehe, you taste funny."

"You're never allowed to drink alcohol, ever, again."

"Oh you know you liked it," Applejack teased.

"Yeah and so did everyone else in the room," I said, nodding my head towards the crowd who had stopped and were watching us intently, waiting for more "action".

Applejack, noticing this, blushed deeply and attempted to hide her face behind her stetson. Her embarrassment only gaining a few more 'aww's from the group.

From behind the couch Pinkie Pie slowly rose so her eyes were showing and broke out into an age-old song,

"Cass and AJ sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes twins, then comes marriage, then comes......" Pinkie stopped when her friend stood up shakily with tears in her eyes and ran out of the shop, into the cool evening air.

Standing up I quickly, but gently, set the twins down on the couch and ran out the door after Applejack. Where the hell did that come from? Have I been so engrossed with Sarah that I couldn't notice other females being attracted to me? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. At least she was easy to follow, just follow the dust cloud and the surprised looking ponies. I rounded a corner near a giant tree that looked like it was actually a house and ran face first into a wall of red, knocking me flat on my ass.

"What did you do?" asked Big Mac accusingly, stepping onto my chest.

"Honestly, nothing, she kissed me at ugh—" The rest of my sentence was cut off as he nearly crushed my ribs.

"SHE DID WHAT!" Getting face to face with me.

"*gasp*..Can'...*gasp*...breath" I barely wheezed.

"Brother, stop it you’re hurting him!" Thank god Apple Bloom came right then, I was about to pass out.

Giving me a glare that left no room for question, he ordered me "Stay right here." and then took off after his sister.

I didn't have much time to breath because Apple Bloom was soon bouncing on my chest, driving all air from it.

"Did she really kiss you? What was it like? What did she say? What did you say? Are you going to marry her? Huh huh huh"

Reacting quickly before I could add broken ribs to my current injuries I caught the young mare mid jump, surprising her enough that she "eeeped" rather cutely, if she hadn't been trying to kill me a moment before. Pausing for a moment to catch my breath, I saw quite a few odd looks coming from ponies near me. I sat Apple Bloom next to me and set up, scooting back so I could lean against a lamp pole.

"Yes, she really kissed me, but she was drunk so she wasn't thinking straight, she said I tasted funny, I told her she was never allowed to drink again, and I already have a fiancee back in my world, so I don't know. Besides, we aren't really the same species so I don't think it could work out.

"But Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies marry each other all the time."

"Well, that’s ummm, different, I mean heck, ya'll look similar, just some have wings or horns, me, I don't even walk on the same number of legs that you do."

"But weirder things have happened," she started looking desperate.

"But what about my fiancé, I've been here for what 3 days, what would she think if I cheated on her so fast, before I even know if I can get home or not?"

Her pout on her face let me know she wasn't going to let the subject drop easily when I was suddenly sent flying down the street into a wall with a solid thud. Seeing stars I saw a light blue pony with rainbow hair? Shaking my head to make sure I was seeing right the other, very pissed off looking pony got right in my face.

"What did you do to Applejack?" She demanded in a dangerous voice.

"Nothing," said Pinkie Pie from behind the blue mare, startling her enough that she headbutted me in the nose. I swear I heard something crack as blood flowed freely down my face.

"What did you say Pinkie?" she said turning around, still pinning me to the wall.

"I said he did nothing, she kissed him and I went and embarrassed her like a mean ol' bully." Pinkie sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"Well I ugh," looking down at me she grimaced at my blood soaked front and my not-too-happy face.

"Sorry," she said with a weak smile.

"Can you two just watch Apple Bloom while I go find her?" I said flatly, how was I getting sucked up into all this soap opera bull?

"Yeah, we got her," they said in unison.

Standing up, I looked in the direction that she had ran off and started jogging after her, completely ignoring the looks of shock as ponies saw my blood everywhere. After a few blocks the road emptied out onto a path that lead into the forest and, seeing nowhere else she could have ran, I didn't even hesitate as I ran in.

I had only gotten about a hundred yards into the forest when I heard a shriek of terror ahead of me. Determined to help my friend I sprinted into the clearing ahead and ran into a statue that looked alot like Big Mac. Ahead of me was a weird chicken/snake hybrid thing and Applejack who was backing away from the creature as quickly as she could. I watched as my friend slowly turned into stone right before my eyes.

Something in my head just clicked, everything started happening slower, distorted around the edges. I was very familiar with this state, whenever my life had been in direct danger it always seemed to happen and I was able to save myself.

Planting my hand on statue Big Mac's back I leapt over him, gaining the attention of that creature. It slowly started turning towards me, but it looked like it moved so sluggishly I easily ran forward and grabbed it by it's neck, squeezing hard and forcing its face into the ground so it couldn’t spit poison at me too.

I looked up at Applejack to see her almost completely stone, only the area around her eyes were still her. She looked at me with hope and pain as, one final tear falling to the ground, she finally turned completely into stone.

I looked down at the little chicken thing in my hands, my vision growing more blurry and taking a red tint.....

Ch 20. My Little Orphanage of SUCK!

“So.... This is it?” Applejack asked shakily.

“Afraid it looks like that. I mean the name of the place is right there. I think.” I responded pointing out an old vine covered rusty sign where the words ‘Whitetail Hall’ could just barely be seen.

“Looks a little....” she started.

“Rundown? Yeah, looks like it’s been abandoned for years, I didn’t know that any place like this existed in Ponyville.”

“Neither did I, no wonder she never told anypony she lived here.”

“Maybe it’s nicer on the inside.” I said hopefully as I pushed open the gate with a loud ‘SQUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEK’

“Who in Celestia’s great beard is out there?!” yelled an unpleasant sounding voice from somewhere hidden deep in the hedge that clung close to the building.

“Hello? Are you the caretaker here?” I asked, scanning into the foliage for the owner of the voice.

“No, I’m the friggin cat burglar who specializes in robbing orphans! Idiots, who the buck else would I be?”

“We’re here to pick up Scootaloo’s things.” continued Applejack, choosing to ignore his rude attitude.

“Really? ‘Bout time someone adopted that whiney lit- Whoa! What the buck are you?” The old brown earth pony said as he disentangled himself from the hedge, the smell of hard liquor filling the air with its harsh stale smell.

“The new father. Ser- Captain Castle. And you are?”

“Captain? Ha, of what, Nightmare Moon’s harem? I knew she was into monsters and freaks! BWAHAHAHA!”

“You should not speak about Princess Luna like that! You should be ashamed of yourself for speaking like that where young fillies and colts might be able to hear you.”

“HA, if those little bastards know what’s good for them they’ll be in the back doing their chores. Speaking of which, you want to take a few more of those pathetic little wastes of time with you?”

“My oh my, aren’t you just a happy old bastard. Can we just get Scootaloo’s things and be gone?”

“Oh, yeah, the little orange unicorn. When I found out she was adopted I just threw that old crap out, should still be in the dumpster if you wanna go look for it.”

“Yeah, thanks, we will be on our way.” Applejack hastily said as she shuffled me to the side, sensing my anger.

Walking away from the old coot I grumbled in anger, wishing I could make him see the error of his ways. Fortunately for him, Applejack’s calming presence kept me from smashing his face in.

“Called her a friggin unicorn, didn’t even bother to remember what she is. Pathetic old pony. And what he said about Luna!”

“I know sugar. But there ain’t nothin’ that you could do to change him. A lot of the older generations are less forgiving of Luna. I fear many will simply not ever forgive, nor accept her again.”

“That’s utter bull, we all know that Luna wouldn’t hurt a fly. Come on, lets find her stuff and get out of this depressing place.”

Headed around the edge of the building we spotted a large overflowing dumpster. Sitting on top of the dumpster was a bundle of Wonderbolts sheets.

“I guess he wasn't kiddin’ when he said he tossed it all out.”

Setting my ruck down, I opened it up wide to accept the bundle as Applejack rolled it in using her forehooves.

“So hun, this might be a bit random, but when are ya gonna get some new clothes? You’re still wearin’ the same weird thing as when you landed, well, everything but the vest.” I paused for a moment, blinking in confusion.

“Did I ever pick up those clothes from Rarity?”

“Do we need to add another destination to our trip?”

“Well unless if you want me to keep on wearin’ the dirty old uniform.”

“I was wonderin’ if you were ever going to take it off or if it was permanently attached to you. Half the time I can find you just by followin’ the dirt trail you leave behind.”

Hoisting the ruck onto my back, I couldn’t contain a chuckle, “Really, it’s that bad?”

“Nope, it’s worse.” she teased, nudging me in my rear to get me to start moving.

Walking through the old gate again, I pushed it open again, only for it to not budge. Planting my right foot back, I shoved harder, only for my feet to go sliding backwards.

“Hmm, apparently we aren’t allowed to leave.”

“Let me give it a try.” Applejack said with a sigh.

Walking past me she knocked my out of the way with her hip. Turning so that her hind quarters faced the gate she planted her fore hooves a little wider than shoulder width. With a grunt she bucked the gate, causing it to squeal in protest as it barely budged open a few inches.

“AND DON'T COME BACK!!!” yelled the caretaker from the hedge as an empty bottle came flying our direction, only to sail over our heads a good many feet.

“Charming. Anyways, ladies first.” I said, giving a mock bow to the gate.

“Why thank you my good sir.” she teased with a fake fancy accent as she squeezed through the barely wide enough gate.

“Tis was my pleasure my fair lady.” I responded with the same fancy accent as I squeezed my way through the gate. “Might I interest you in some of my fine tea?”

Hiding her giggles with one of her fore hooves, “You might interest me with your fine teas my good sir, but thy is far too smelly to have any chance with such a high pedigree lady such as myself.”

“Don’t tempt me to toss you into the river to level the playing field.”

“Tossin’ you into the river might just be an improvement for ya.”

“Geez, I get it, I need to organize a wash day for my clothes, but you gotta admit that the last couple of day I’ve not really had the easiest of times, what with me being Equestria’s most wanted and all.”

“That don’t mean much, Rarity was able to get perfectly clean while carrying around Tom.”

“Who’s Tom?”

“Ask her, Ah don’t think it’s my place to be tellin’ that particular story.”

Continuing down the sidewalk for a few minutes we were stuck in an awkward silence as we entered the outskirts of the town. The ponies in the town gave me odd looks as we walked side-by-side. They avoided me for the most part, but many waved at Applejack and hollered friendly greetings.

“I don’t think they like me much.” I stated flatly.

“Quit your worryin’, took them a good while before they even accepted Zecora, an’ she looks more pony than you.”

“Is that a thinly veiled insult? You sayin’ my Macho Man,” I paused for dramatic effect while taking a funny macho form, getting a lot of weird looks from passing ponies, “Is too much for you, maybe I should tone it down before I embarrass your brother.”

“Eeyup.” came a shockingly deep southern drawl from behind me as Applejack hid snickers behind a hoof.

“He’s right behind me isn’t he?”

“Eeyup.” came their response in unison.

“Well crap... But why aren’t you at work today Mac?”

“Quick day at market, you’re good fer business.”

Looking at the empty cart being pulled by the large pony I couldn’t help but notice that the cash register was overflowing with money.

“How am I good for business? Don’t tell me you’re asking for help paying some dastardly ransom for your sister that I’m unfairly demanding of you.” That earned me a swift kick to the rear from Applejack, who looked away and whistled when I gave her an accusing glance.

“Nope.” was his simple reply.

“Are they paying extra for a train ticket for me to anywhere but here?”

“Nope.” again, simple.

“Tryin’ to bribe me?”

“Nope.” Now that’s starting to get frustrating.

“Can ya give me a hint, and just more than ‘Eeyup’ and ‘Nope’?”

“They think you’re a freeloader livin’ off our hospitality and they want to ease the burden of feeding the exotic tastes that you have.”

I stumbled on air as he said all of this, “Really? A freeloader? Geez, and here I thought that I pulled my own weight there at the farm.”

“You do hun, and then some, just don’t be spreadin’ that around, Granny still needs that new hip!” Applejack whispered into my ear as she pulled me down to her short height.

“Oh crap! Sorry Mac, but I’ve corrupted your sis, next she’s gonna start missin’ work to do her hair and put on makeup! It’s a sign of the end of the world!” Applejack, obviously not amused at our hearty laughter, rewarded me with another stinging kick to the shin.

“Ow, geez, can’t take a joke can ya, huh?” I teased, ruffling her mane.

“Now what in tarnation is wrong with me makin’ myself look respectable. Just ‘cause Ah don’t spend all day in a spa gettin’ pampered like a fancy pony like somepony we know don’t mean Ah’m lackin’ the ability to be a proper mare!”

“Applejack, I still have nightmares from your last attempt at fancy.” Mac muttered with a shudder.

“Come on now, couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was nice that Rarity didn’t bug me fer about a week.”

“Only ‘cause she gagged every time she saw you.”

“Oh come on! Apple Bloom said it wasn't that bad!”

“She thought you were preparing for Nightmare Night early.”

“Bwahahahahaha! Really? Geez, maybe I should try to convince Rarity to give you makeup lessons.”

“You do that and Ah might just break your legs.” she threatened with a un-fitting smile.

“Eeyup.”

“Great, I guess I’ll just have to put on your makeup for you then for the rest of your life.”

“You’re really wanting to push your luck today ain’t cha’.”

“NEWSBREAK!” Interrupted a young stallion working in front of a modest newsstand. “Changelings sighted all across Equestria! Learn how to protect yourselves from duplicates!”

“Changelings?” I asked Applejack, who merely shrugged and bought one of the papers from the newspony and handed it to me. “That should explain it better than Ah ever could.”

Looking at the front page, I saw pictures of many black, pony looking creatures that seemed to have holes in their bodies. The caption underneath the picture read, “Could this be your neighbor?”

“So what are they, shape-shifters or something?”

“Eeyup.” came their responses in an almost practiced sounding unison.

“Great, sounds like a wonderful thing to have running around willy-nilly.”

“Eeyup,” Applejack agreed before continuing, “Heck, they even just tried invading the capital, and almost succeeded if it wasn't for Shining Armor, that’s Twilight’s older brother, and Princess Cadence, his bride. Together they formed a massive shield spell thingamajig that threw the changlin’s out all across Equestria.”

“And you don’t seem concerned about them being able to be anyone here.”

“Nope, cause Ah know mah sisters and Gran well enough that Ah would spot the fake on the spot.” Mac responded confidently

“But what if they’re just some random stranger who falls out of the sky with little to no verifiable past, like myself.”

“We call Twilight, she has a spell that strips away their shifting powers.” Applejack said, sounding proud of her bookish friend.

Turning the corner, I spotted the Crusaders standing in front of a street vendor selling snow cones to them. Fortune even looked like she was enjoying herself. Grabbing Applejack by her tail I pull her backwards and quickly duck back around the corner. Big Mac completely ignoring my efforts to remain unseen, continues up to the girls. Peeking around the corner, I saw the Crusaders greet him enthusiastically as he approached them. After a short conversation with the emerald green unicorn who was selling them the snow cones, he handed him a bag a bits, apparently paying for the girls.

“He always did spoil them after they tried to hook him up with Cheerilee.” Applejack commented.

“Who is this Cheerilee? I’ve heard her mentioned a lot but yet to have had the pleasure of meeting her.”

“She’s just the teacher up at the schoolhouse, she and Mac had a bit of a relationship that was started when the girls poisoned them with a love potion.”

“Poisoned? With a love potion?”

“Ah’ll tell ya later, but we need to hide, they’re comin’ this way!” she said as she returned the favor, grabbing the rucksack by one of the loose straps hanging off of it and dragging me into a nearby store, slamming the door shut after us, and dragging me to the back.

“Ummm, hello?” the shopkeeper said skeptically.

Looking around the shop I see that the majority of the shelves are covered with candles and heart-shaped chocolate boxes.

“Hi, don’t mind us, we’re just hidin’ from the Crusaders, don’t want to spoil a surprise we have for them.” Applejack said, as she released the strap.

At that moment the door tinkled, we couldn’t see who had opened it due to a large case being in the way, but the voices were unmistakable.

“Ah’m telling ya’ll, we’re definitely gonna get our cutie marks when we set up that surprise for Cass and mah sis!” protested Apple Bloom.

Looking at the shopkeeper in desperation, he motions us behind the counter where he opens a small cabinet that we are barely able to fit into. The ruck, being too big, is shoved into the adjacent cabinet. The shopkeeper closes the door quickly, leaving me and Applejack in complete darkness. Applejack, who was sitting between my legs and had her face a few inches from my own, sighed at the close call.

“Excuse me mister, we’re trying to set a romantic dinner for my friend’s sister and her fiancé. Can we get a bit of advice from you?” asked Sweetie Belle, completely unaware that we were sitting right there.

“Sure thing, and I’ll even give ya a discount if ya buy the things ya will need from me.”

“Yeah!” Fortune exclaimed excitedly.

“Anyways, can you girls describe these two love birds for me?”

“Well mah sister, Applejack, is the bestest earth pony you’ll ever see, she farms apples better than anyone in Equestria and is the most honest pony you’ll ever meet!”

“And Cass, my dad, is the strongest person you’ll ever know, he once fought off a whole gang of thieves by himself! He’s also really, I mean, really tall, he has to stoop through every doorway or risk banging his head off of everything.”

“Wait, is this Mr. Cass that, what was it, Huu-mon?” I could almost hear the laughter in the shopkeepers voice, he was enjoying this way too much.

“Yeah, have ya seen him?” asked Scootaloo excitedly.

“Oh, maybe...”

Two hours! It took them two hours to make the plans for our ‘surprise’ dinner! During that time Applejack had fallen asleep and was currently snoring against my chest quietly as the Crusaders paid for the massive amount of supplies they had acquired. Gently shaking Applejack awake, she wearily sat up bumping her head lightly on the top of the cabinet, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

After I heard the tinkle of the bell above his door I slowly pushed open the cabinet door. The shopkeeper was counting the bits he had gotten from the Crusaders.

“Were you all comfy in there? I was starting to hope that you wouldn’t run out of air in there, or get frisky.”

“Ow!” I said hoping and holding my shin, “What the hell did I do?”

“Thinkin’ bout’ it.” she commented dryly.

There was a brief silence, that dragged on far too long as the shopkeeper continued counting his bits, but his smirk showed that he found the whole exchange highly amusing.

“Anyways, don’t you two have somewhere to be? Something to do with that large bag you have in my other cabinet?”

“Right, and thank you for helpin’ us hide from them, would’ve ruined the surprise if she had saw it.”

“Now what are you going to do now that you know their little secret?” the shopkeeper asked, scooping the hefty pile of bits into the simple wooden box that served as a register.

“I’ll figure it out then.” I said with wave as we walked towards the door, careful to not knock over the shelves with the bulky rucksack.

Walking outside I noticed the streets were starting to empty and the sun was starting its slow descent behind the horizon.

“We’d better hurry, they’ll beat us home at this rate, especially if they want to be back before curfew.” she suggested, with a grin she added, “Wanna race?”

“Oh, you’re on!” I yell as I sprinted past her, laughing at her surprised face.

“Hey that’s cheating, I was supposed to say go!”

“That’s cheating, you ain’t carrying a ruck!”

Rounding the corner I nearly tripped over the crusaders who were pulling a heavily laden red cart.

“Hi girls! Bye girls!” I yelled as I lept over them in a display that would have impressed my high school track coach.

“Watch out for Applejack!” I warned with a laugh as she turned the corner and skidded into Scootaloo, sending the two of them tumbling across the street in a heap of hilarity.

Stopping to look at the scene unfolding behind me I barely noticed the other three fillies rushing to cover up the cart as Applejack and Scootaloo attempted to untangle themselves, only making it worse. Somehow Scootaloo had managed to shove one of her forehooves into Applejack’s mouth, while Applejack had somehow managed to get her tail tangled up in Scootaloo’s wings.

“Murful!” Applejack attempted to say.

“Ow! That’s my hoof that you’re chewing on!”

“Phuwie! What did you step in? Your hoof tastes like crud!” Applejack finally sputtered out after spitting out the offending obstruction.

“OW! My wings don’t bend like that! I’m not a circus pony!”

I looked over to the other Crusaders and Fortune, who were posed in front of a random bush in the middle of the sidewalk, that sprouted a couple of wheels and a handle, trying desperately to block my view of it.

“So..... Girls, are you going to help them, or shall I?”

“We’re good.” they responded in unison.

“Great.” I muttered to no one in particular as I walked over to the two struggling ponies, their struggling only making the whole mess worse, and funnier. After a few untied knots here and a helping lift there I got the two ponies separated with some of their dignity intact.

“So, what have we learned here?” I asked with a touch of sarcasm.

“Lyra was right about fingers!” Scootaloo guessed.

“Who?”

“No pony.” I swear she could lie just as well as Applejack, but choosing to not pursue it, I continued on.

“Nope, you learned that, I’m awesome!” I said, striking a macho man pose.

After a few too many moments of silence, Applejack spoke up, “Is that supposed to impress us? It’s just makin’ a fool of yourself.”

“Again.” added Scootaloo.

“No wonder they dumped him off here, he must have been unbearable where he came from.” Applejack teased.

“I wonder if he has an off switch.”

“Trust me sugarcube, no switches. None at least on the outside of his body.”

“Ewww, I don’t even want to know how you know that.”

“I...Umm...You see.....” Applejack stuttered, her face practically giving off heat by now, her blush was so deep.

“When I first got here I somehow mangled myself up pretty bad, and you can’t heal through clothes, so she had to strip me to help me.” I jumped in to the rescue.

“She stripped you, isn’t it supposed to work the other way around?” asked Fortune from across the street a bit too loudly, gaining a few more odd looks from the passing ponies.

“Not like that, geez, I swear you ponies are pervs.”

“Perv?” asked Scootaloo.

“They’re nothing, just if you ever meet one, let me know and I’ll take care of them.”

“And if I already met a couple of them?”

“Who?”

“Oh, only my parents, geez remind me to never let you two come to the parent-teacher conference, that would cause some questions to be asked.” she joked as she trotted across the street to her friends, only to stop mid step and whip around with a big cheesy grin on her face.

“Shouldn’t you two be headed home by now? You know, toooo......” she trailed off, thinking hard of an excuse.

“Check on my brothers?” piped up Fortune again, I swear, she had ears like a bat.

“Yeah, check on the builders, make sure they didn’t build something upside down or something like that.”

“Fine, but after I check out that bush, it looks very very interesting.” I said with a grin, approaching the cart as all of their eyes steadily got wider and wider with each step I took.

Only for me to be jolted backwards as Applejack bit down on to one of the straps of my ruck and dragged me backwards.

“Mufon, Wrarity aiting.”

“What?”

Spitting out the strap, she repeated herself, “Come on, Rarity’s waiting.”

“Oh, yeah, right, I do need to get some nice clothes so I can take you out on a proper date.” I said, winking at Applejack to make sure she got the message.

“Ohhhh. Eeyup, you promised something fancy right?”

“I thought I said romantic, maybe a moonlight dinner in the orchard, a modest meal spread over a blanket, a soft melody coming from somewhere nearby, no pony anywhere near the two of us.”

“EW!” yelled the young fillies in unison.

“Aren’t you all a bit too young to be thinking like that?” I asked.

“But what if you get cooties Applejack! How much work do you think would miss if you got the cooties?” Apple Bloom said worriedly.

“Guess that’s better than the altern-Ow, damn it, again?” My shins seem to be an easy target for the orange mare.

“Eeyup.”

“Weren’t the two of you racing somewhere?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yea-Ow, really?” I yell as Applejack bucks my shins again before streaking down the street.

“Cheater!” I yell after her as I take off after her.

“Whew, I thought for a second there they discovered our super-secret plan!” said Apple Bloom as she collapsed with a sigh.

“He might have the right idea though, maybe we shouldn’t have the bouncy house of romance and go for something more...” said Sweetie Belle as she trailed off, lost for the proper word.

“Sappy?” Scootaloo suggested sarcastically.

“It would be cheaper.” added Fortune.

“And less fun! What’s next, you’re gonna say we shouldn’t let Pinkie Pie set up an After-Romance-Date Party?” said Scootaloo angrily.

“Oh! Did someone say party?” said Pinkie Pie as she popped her head out of a nearby shop.

“Damn....Freakin’.....Cheater!” I gasped out, bent over, hands on my knees as I attempted to catch my breath.

“You...Started it!” she gasped out, laying on her back in a patch of grass.

“Whatever.” Standing up I looked at the house, noticing that it was...different, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Why does mah house have a third floor?”

“Cause we’re awesome!” yelled Flush from the kitchen window.

“Ruffians!” came Granny’s Smith voice from inside the room, followed shortly by the sound of breaking dishes.

“I think we should help Granny Smith.” I suggested.

“More like save those three from Granny Smith.” Applejack said warily as Flush’s head disappeared from the window.

“Yeah, that sounds about right at this point.” The sound of breaking dishes became louder as we got closer to the house.

Opening the door, I poked my head in to be greeted by a scene of chaos, the table was flipped on the side and the three brothers were taking cover behind it. The floor was littered with a multitude of shattered dishes. Granny Smith, who was sitting on the counter, was flinging dishes willy nilly around the room with reckless abandon.

“Hello Gran-” was all I was able to get out before a wooden spoon bounced off my face, and in my surprise I jumped backwards and tripped over Applejack, twisting to the side and face planting into the dirt.

“You ruffians will never take me alive!” Granny Smith yelled.

Applejack, stepping over my legs, poked her head through the door, only to also jerk back as a pie came flying out of the door.

Looking at where the apple pie had splattered against the ground, leaving a delicious smear on the ground.

“Really, any more cliche and the next thing I know a cat and mouse will come racing out of there, wackin’ each other with lead pipes.”

“What are you talkin’ about?” asked Applejack, looking at me with confusion evident on her face.

“Old show called Tom and Jerry, used to wa... I’ll tell you later, but I think she’s final out of dishes.”

Sticking her head back through the doorway, she merely nodded before she stepped into the room.

“Granny, it’s me, Applejack.”

“Course’ it’s you Applejack, who else would you be?”

“If you recognized me, why did you throw a pie at me?”

“So you’d protect it from those ruffians who are tryin’ to steal it.”

“Yeah, that worked out real well.” I said sarcastically, nodding at the smear that was once a pie.

“Well shucks, at least I have an excuse to bake another!” Granny Smith said after putting her glasses on.

“May we come out now?” asked Level as he cautiously poked his head from behind the table.

“No!” yelled Granny Smith as she threw an apple at his head, only for him to catch it with his mouth, grinning all the way as he ducked behind the table again to noisily munch on it.

“Maybe using food as a weapon against starving construction ponies is a bad idea.” I mused quietly as Applejack kicked my shin again, joking this time though.

“So may we come in please?” I asked, opening the door wider, expecting something to hit me.

When nothing nailed me in the face I stepped into the room, careful to not step on any of the dishes that were salvageable. Walking over to Granny Smith, I helped her step off of the counter, how she had gotten up there a complete mystery to me.

“Perhaps thy will allow me to come out?” came Luna voice from inside one of the cabinets.

Curious to see how the princess had managed to wedge herself into such a small place, I opened the cabinets to reveal... nothing, just normal pots and pans. Taking a knee I noticed one of the larger pots was shivering. Looking at Applejack as she lead Granny Smith from the room, she didn’t even notice my inquisitive look. Looking back into the cabinet, I saw the pot slowly scooting away from me. Reaching out I placed my hand down hard on the bottom of it, causing a slight clang, and an EEP from who- or whatever was in the pot. Reaching slowly with my other hand, I grabbed the handle on the side and quickly flipped it over, scooping up the dark blue fuzzball that was within it, and clanging the lid down on top of it. Carrying the pot over to the counter, I gently set it down and held the lid down.

“I beggith you, please don’t eat me!” came Luna’s voice again, from inside the pot.

Ah crap....

Opening the lid, I saw a miniature Luna, looking pleadingly at me, until she noticed who it was and her face instantly changed to anger.

“Thou was going to eat us!” she accused.

“Tempting, but I’m sure you taste too much like sparkles and unicorn shit, how did you shrink yourself anyways?”

“We taste like what?” she cried indignantly.

“Sparkles and unicorn shit, did I stutter?”

“I assure you that we we do not taste like the defecation of an unicorn.”

“Oh, guess I’ll have to test this out.” I said as I slammed the lid back onto the pot with an evil grin all over my face as I turned to the three Construction ponies who were still hiding behind the table despite Granny Smith being out of the room.

“Still hungry?” I asked evilly.

At that point the bottom of the pot mushroomed outwards with a mighty explosion that knocked me off my feet.

“Incoming!” I screamed as I leapt behind the table, landing in a heap of ponies, and pulled my pistol from it’s holster on my hip. Popping up from behind the table, I scanned the room with deadly attention as Luna withheld her laughter.

“Are thou fearful of the results of your actions?”

Looking at my hand, I realised that at some point I had drawn my pistol and was pointing it square between her eyes, just below her horn.

“Heh, sorry.” I muttered as I put the gun away. “You never did answer how the hell you were able to shrink yourself.”

“We are an immortal goddess, with powers beyond the comprehension of mortals!” She yelled in her royal canterlot voice.

“Sooo.... Magic?”

“Yup!” she said with a big smile.

“So why did you choose the form of a little filly, why not something small and harmless, like a rabbit?”

With a poof of grey smoke she transformed back into a little dark blue filly with a lighter blue mane.

“Cause this is much cuter than any bunny!” she said pridefully.

“Meh, not as cute as Fortune.” said Square as he studied her carefully.

“A good effort, I’ll give it a solid five.” commented Level.

“D’aww, the flare of the wings did make her cuter, maybe give her a six.” Flush said.

“I think you’re making her angry.” I said carefully, hoping to not piss off the goddess that I was going to be living with for the near future.

“Perhaps your sister would like to know that you three were judging her cuteness again, and against a Princess no less.”

The look on their faces was a picture perfect moment, just the sheer terror caused by mentioning such a sweet little filly made the whole situation that much better.

“You wouldn’t?” asked Flush, dead serious.

“Maybe.” Luna said with a sing song voice as she left the kitchen, doing a little victory dance.

Following her I nearly ran her over as she suddenly popped back into her full form, surprising Applejack who was coming down the stairs.

“Princess?”

“Luna, please, if we are to be housemates we do not want formality getting in the way of a friendship.”

“Sorry, your maj— Luna, Ah just ain’t used to talkin’ to royalty like a friend.”

“We assure you, we are not used to talking to anyone, the moon is a lonely place.”

Luna was silent for a moment, looking very sad, I could feel through the mental link the thousand years of loneliness creeping across my soul like a slow fog. Hoping to interrupt that chain of thought before it took hold I spoke up.

“So, Scootaloo’s room?”

“Oh, yes, the room!” she said excitedly, but I still felt her sorrow over the mental bridge strongly.

Leading us upstairs, she never let her happy mask slip as she lead us to my old room. Stopping outside the door, she made a small fancy bow as she announced.

“And I present to you, Lady Scootaloo-A-Boo’s room.”

“Scootaloo-A-Boo?” I whispered to Applejack.

“Hush you, you’ll ruin the unveil.”

Rolling my eyes, I looked into the room and saw that the walls had been painted a deep orange, reminding me of a sunset. The floor was covered with a plush, dark green carpet that looked alot like grass, but was much softer. The bed was a soft grey cloud that looked wonderfully soft while the bedstand was shaped like a stump, and had a great number of details. Looking up at the ceiling I saw the constellations scattered around a miniature moon that appeared to just be floating there, casting a comforting dim light throughout the room evenly.

“We always thought that when both the sun and moon share the sky is one of the most beautiful times of day. We remember a hill that was outside of canterlot, It had a stump that was the best place in the world to watch the sun settle behind the Everfree.”

Reaching down I closed Applejack mouth before she embarrassed herself.

“It’s perfect, I’m sure Scootaloo will love it.”

“Good! It pleases us to hear your approval before we even show you all the special features.” Luna said excitedly as she entered the room.

“Special features? Please tell me you didn’t add a zip line or bungee cord.” I said in horror, imagining the headache coming from the Cutie Mark Crusaders Extreme Sports Ponies.

“Should we have installed them?”

“No!” was Applejack and my response, lound and in unison.

Pouting a little, and muttering something about how we sucked the fun out of everything, she pressed her hoof against the wall. There was a small click and a door appeared, revealing a large closet.

“Heh, secret closets, now Appleboom is gonna want one of those too.” Applejack said thoughtfully.

“Tis more than just a closet, but what is a secret passage if the parents know about it?” Luna said, laughing evilly while rubbing her forehooves together.

“Luna.” I say loudly enough to be heard over her laughter and lightning strikes outside.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t try to look evil, you’re too much of a dork to pull it off.” I teased.

Luna, growing red in her face, started stammering, “I’m- we- you think we- Dork?”

Rolling my eyes, “Geez Luna, even when you can feel my emotions you can’t tell I’m joking?”

Luna stared at me for a few moments, and I could feel her conscious rubbing mine like ethereal tendreals. After a moment, she smiled from ear to ear, obviously happy that at least I was comfortable enough to joke with her. Remind me later to get prank supplies from Pinkie Pie, I wonder how the princess would like pink fur.

“Did thou grab her belongings.” asked Luna, looking at the bulky ruck that was still on my back.

“Course I did, did ya think I forgot to?”

“Oh! Where are they?” she said, racing around behind me to hoist the ruck, while inadvertently pinching my butt.

“You know, you should probably buy me dinner first.” I told her dryly.

Luna paused what she was doing, and the look on Applejack face was priceless as the two of them were frozen. Unsure if I had lept way over the line, I took the best course of action.

“Or at least invite Applejack to join us.” Okay, maybe not the best.

I thought I heard someone’s jaw smack the ground, hard enough to probably leave a lovely bruise. Turning I saw that Luna was blushing, turning her face about as red as the apples on Applejack’s flan—

“OW! Damn, you tryin’ to break my bones?” I said hopping around, holding my shin.

“What were you thinkin’?” she demanded.

“Your fla- nothing!” I corrected myself before she killed me for real.

“Uh-huh. Dog house. Now.” she said calmly.

“Dog house?”

“Eeyup, right in the backyard, you’re sleepin’ there tonight.” Apparently with Applejack, being in the dog house was litteral.

Hope the roof doesn’t leak, I think one of them might conjure up a shit storm sometime tonight.