Don't Look At The Comments
It was a special day in Ponyville. Their newest resident, Anon the Human, had now been in Equestria for one whole year. And so, Twilight stood in the center of her rather large dining room, examining the various party festivities that Pinkie Pie had filled the room with. The ornate dining table was pushed against the wall, with a long line of finger foods and snacks. Of course, at the end, several kegs of “celebratory cheer.”
Beer. It was beer.
While Twilight checked item after item off her list with a smile, she couldn’t help but find herself somewhat excited for the evening. Anon, or Anonymous as she still called him, had become a good friend to the ponies in town, and while his mischievous nature led to many pranks being pulled on its inhabitants, he was always there when it counted. What better way to celebrate good friendship than with a party!
Just then, the door to the dining room slammed open with the force of Taco Belle four hours after eating.
“TWILIGHT!” Rainbow Dash screamed, flying towards the alicorn but stopping short of a full collison.
“What Rainbow?!” Twilight dropped her clipboard in a panic.
“OUR BEER IS TOO DARK!”
Twilight blinked. Was she missing something?
Oh. Right. Rainbow Dash was basically an alcoholic. If it wasn’t the unreal level of enthusiasm she showed towards Applejack during cider season, or her ability to ‘socialize’ now that she’s in the Wonderbolts, Rainbow was always just a bit too passionate about booze. Chances are that whatever she’s concerned about is probably only a problem for her, and not who the party is about: Anon.
But, Rainbow was her friend.
“Uh,” Twilight started. “Why is that a problem, Rainbow?”
Rainbow stepped back in near disgust.
“Not everypony likes stouts and porters, Twilight! I know you said expensive is better, but nopony is going to drink at the party if that’s the only selection we have!”
Twilight shook her head in relief. This was ridiculous. At least this was a simple issue to solve. Definitely not worth the panic that Dash felt. Nopony was going to care about this.
“Well, does it taste good? I’m not really a beer kind of mare.”
“Well, yes. B-“
“Then why all the fuss?” she interjected, trying to end this problem so she could move onto more important things. “I’m sure if it tastes good, ponies will drink it no matter what. Plus it’s Anon’s favorite, right? Isn’t that what matters?”
“That’s not the point, Twilight! This beer goes bad really quick! We have so much! And it’s so expensive. Ponies might not drink it all and it’ll all go to waste if they see how dark it is through our clear steins.”
Twilight sighed. This was what she hated about party planning — when everything was going perfectly fine, but one little opinion threw a wrench into the works. Tonight was about Anon, not crying over spilled beer. Even if that was a perfectly valid response to spilled beer.
“Well,” she said slowly, trying to even her tone and not show the exasperation she felt. “Why don’t I just cast a spell and change the color of the beer or something. Then the beer won’t be dark. It’ll still taste fine. And we can all move on from this… problem.”
“But Twilight, that’ll change the taste!”
“What?” she asked incredulously
“The magic will change the taste! Everypony knows when you try to modify food with magic, it gives it this… processed… magical taste. It can totally ruin the vibe of the food!”
She closed her eyes and turned away from Rainbow to gather her mind.
I can’t believe this is actually happening right now.
“I got it!” Rainbow exclaimed.
“Got what?” Twilight asked.
“The solution to our problem.”
“Okay,” Twilight sighed, ready for this to be over. “What should we do?”
“We change the color of the steins! The foam on top will cover the beer, and nobody will be able to see the color of the beer through the pale steins!”
“Uh. I don’t really follow.” She frowned uncertainly and quirked an eyebrow.. “How would changing the color help?
“Well, if we make the steins, like, black. Then the beer will appear lighter in relation to the glass!”
Twilight returned to her friend, somewhat surprised in her somewhat reasonable idea.
“Well, I mean. Sure. That’s not hard. But I also didn’t really see what the problem was in the first place. Let’s just do it and get it over with.”
Her horn glowed with bright purple magic and instantly changed the color of all the glasses on the table from clear to black.
“There, Rainbow,” she said, angling her head toward her like the leaning tower of Pisa arching an eyebrow at its architects. “Happy now? Now nothing will go to waste.”
“Awesome!” Rainbow pumped a hoof in the air. “See, that wasn’t a hard problem! I don’t know why Anon was so bent out of shape.”
Twilight blinked to her, once again confused.
“Was it supposed to be?”
“See, that’s what I thought. I didn’t see what the big deal was.” Rainbow shrugged. “But Anon said ‘Shit was getting real’ over there, so I rushed over.”
“Language!”
“I was quoting him! You can’t get in trouble when you quote!”
“…Okay then, so… wait.” Twilight squinted. “Anon said things were getting real over here? But he didn’t know we got his favorite beers. How would he even know?”
“Well he must have known somehow?”
Twilight stomped her hoof in a huff and glared at her friend.
“Rainbow, can you please just tell me what happened? I am so confused right now, and we still have a lot of party planning if we’re going to make this party happen!”
Rainbow sighed and swished her tail.
“Fine! Anon was talking to me about how relaxing it was being away from work. Like, there were so many problems there. I asked him what kind of problems, and I rushed over once he mentioned it. He told me about how hard it was to find an Is-Real-Pale-Stein solution, and I told him that I could solve that shit in five minutes.”
Author's Note
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