Rarity heaved a sigh as she left Carousel Boutique. Word was going around that a change was coming to the Ponyville Day Spa, and she was dreading the uncertainty of it all. The fashionista took a deep breath, then exhaled as a summer breeze blew past. She started to feel fine, as it blew through the jasmine of her mind. Feeling better, she made her way downtown. Trotting fast, faces passed as she was spa-bound.
Minutes later, Rarity reached the spa and closed her eyes. She opened the door, wary of what she might bear witness to, despite the fact that she hadn't opened her eyes yet.
Relaxing music played through the lobby as the fashionista heard the door shut behind her. That was a promising sign. Risking a glance, she clenched her teeth and opened an eye...
The walls of the lobby were lavender, with a couple of pink couches sitting between two potted plants. Each wall contained a picture of beautiful ponies after a spa treatment. Several ponies stood in line, waiting for their turn to be attended to as a lavender scent wafted around. A modest pair of windows were placed near the entrance.
Rarity sighed in relief, putting her hoof to her chest. Nothing had changed after all! At least... not visibly. Feeling her worry return, she trotted to the back of the line. Each second seemed to drag on as she waited for her turn. The fashionista's eyes darted left and right as sweat began to form on her forehead.
"Next!"
Rarity darted forward. "Oh, thank Celestia!"
The receptionist was a light purple Earth Pony mare with a pink mane. Her blue eyes regarded Rarity with confusion as she blinked, revealing her light green eyeshadow. "Is something wrong, Rarity," she asked in a nondescript, yet vaguely Eastern-sounding accent.
"Lavender Essence," Rarity said as she neared the receptionist. "I thought I heard there was going to be a change around here."
Lavender gasped, then held the fashionista close. "Nopony is supposed to know yet," she whispered. "How did you-"
Rarity scoffed. "Oh come now," she said. "I have connections to all the gossip and rumors of Ponyville!" Her eyes began to twinkle as her apprehension gave way to excitement. "So? What is the change going to be?"
"Well," Lavender said as she put a hoof to her chin. "Since you're a regular here, I suppose I could tell you." The receptionist leaned into Rarity and whispered.
The fashionista's facial expression changed from excitement to shock, then shock into pure fury. "WHAT?!" Rarity's shriek caused the windows to vibrate.
Everypony in the lobby stared at Rarity with different facial expressions.
The fashionista giggled nervously as she rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. She cleared her throat, then turned back to Lavender. "Where can I find those responsible for this... 'change'?"
The receptionist leaned into Rarity again, and whispered an address.
Rarity nodded. "Thank you ever so much for the information." And with that, she calmly trotted away, closing the door behind herself politely. Once outside, she let out a roar of rage. The fashionista reared, then galloped at a ludicrous speed, surpassing plaid because it was gauche. Instead, she created a Sonic Rariboom! A brilliant wave of purple energy rippled throughout Ponyville, bedazzling and fabulositizing all in its wake.
Back in the lobby, a light blue Earth Pony mare with a pink mane ran in. "Vat just happened?!"
Lavender blinked. "Rarity was here, Aloe."
"Yes. And?"
"Well, she had heard that there was going to be a change, and-"
Aloe gasped as she put a hoof to her muzzle. "You didn't."
Lavender blinked again. "Should I not have told her?"
Aloe put a hoof to her face. "No. You should not have." She sighed. "Remember what happened to the last pony who wanted to change Ponyville Day Spa's name?"
"Spoiled Rich?"
Aloe nodded. "She didn't get her nose bent that way from plastic surgery."
Lavender's eyes widened. "Oh, sweet Celestia..."
Rarity reached her destination, then recoiled in horror. The building was two stories tall, and almost entirely green and pink. The mere sight further enraged the fashionista as she entered. Her eyes widened as she reached the lobby.
The walls were bright pink and green, nearly blinding Rarity. Pictures of tacky art lined said walls, causing the poor fashionista to nearly faint! The chairs were floral printed, and the floor... the floor... was... plaid!
Rarity nearly flew into a fabulous rage as she ran over to the receptionist. She took a deep breath, then exhaled as she felt her anger dissipate. Just enough for her to form coherent sentences.
"Can I help you?"
Rarity looked at the receptionist in shock.
Before the fashionista stood a red unicorn stallion with a messy yellow mane. The look in his blue eyes suggested that he'd rather be anywhere else but here. His nametag read "Primary Colors", because the author couldn't be bothered to think up a clever name. He probably hates his parents.
Rarity cleared her throat. "Yes, I was wondering where the CEO is. I'd like to have a... chat with him."
Primary stared at Rarity for a moment, as if he was trying to discern her intentions. He probably hated his job as much as his parents. The receptionist shrugged. "Second floor, third door to the left."
Rarity nodded. "Thank you!" She trotted off.
Primary sighed heavily. "I probably hate my life..."
Rarity reached the CEO's office, and felt her anger rise again. This stallion would experience her full wrath for his crime against fabulosity and sanity! There was no name on the door, because the author couldn't even be bothered to think of one! With a scream of rage, the fashionista bucked the door off its hinges, sending it flying across the room and into the wall.
Silence reigned for a moment as debris fell, then a white unicorn stallion's head poked out from under the door. He shook himself, trying to regain his bearings as his shaggy black mane followed his head. His dark red eyes looked at Rarity as though she were an inconvenience. "Can I help you," he asked in a raspy voice.
"Yes," Rarity said, suddenly regaining her calm for the author's convenience. "I was wondering if you would be so kind as to rescind your name change to Ponyville Day Spa?"
The CEO, now named Asphalt Holder because apparently the author wanted to fit the word "asshole" somewhere in his story, walked out from behind the door. "No."
Rarity tilted her head. "Oh, and why not?"
"Because fuck you, that's why."
"I see. That's a shame." Rarity trotted over to him, keeping her smile until she got up close to him. Her horn lit up, and her magic levitated a silver pistol from her mane.
Asshole's eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare."
Rarity roared in fury and swung the pistol, smacking the asshole across the muzzle. "Does this look like the Element of Mercy to you," the fashionista shouted as she pointed at her cutie mark.
Asshole stood still for a moment as the world stopped spinning. "W... What?"
Rarity got in close to the CEO. "Last chance," she whispered, brandishing her weapon.
Asshole began cowering in fear for the author's convenience. "O-Okay, fine! I p-promise!"
Rarity nodded in satisfaction, then left the office, rolling her eyes and scoffing. "Somepony Touch-a My Spa-ghett, indeed!"
The fashionista would then return home and drink herself into a stupor.
Author's Note
