Velvet Conundrum

The sun began to set once more as Velvet passed a sign reading 1800 Canterbury's Trot Road. The sun's light bounced off as it reached a certain angle in the sky, in turn glistening off of Velvet's bouncing mane and her small saddlebag as her eyes scanned the road for anything remotely out of place. At both sides spanned several shops, filled with the standard hustle and bustle that went in and out with a disorganized rhythm.

Even the alleys of Canterbury's Trot were scrutinized. Besides the trashcans, and the very few establishments wedged in those alleys, there was nothing of particular note that struck her as odd at first. If anything, the alleys and trashcans looked spick and span, all of them gleaming with the same aura the rest of Canterlot did. There were the few bits of refuse that ruined the mood somewhat, but those were quickly noticed by somepony else and dealt with accordingly.

Velvet hurried along, going from one end of the road to the next in a steady trot, being mindful of the other ponies going in and out of the various establishments. She did her best to look inconspicuous, though she still got some stares regardless of her attempts. Some bitter part of her demanded more recognition for contributing to Equestria as a whole via her foals. But, that got shot down by her more logical side, which pointed out that attention-seeking for the whole issue would look rather bad on her entire family.

She shook the thoughts aside, and continued on her hunt for anything in Canterbury's Trot that would stick out as particularly off. Unfortunately, by the time she reached the end of the road—a medium-length trot that split off into different intersections and ended near somepony else's house that lasted a good half-hour—nothing turned up. Unless, of course, the house she'd discovered counted as something interesting.

She spent another half-hour trotting back up the road, keeping vigil over anything out of place. Her target seemed to elude her; despite her best efforts to leave no stone unturned, it simply did not heed her whims and show itself. The ponies around her failed to notice, failed to leave anything that could point her in the right direction, failed to even heed the alleys unless the bits of refuse needed to be picked up.

The third trot back down, however, proved a bit more interesting; out of an alley between a bakery and a clothing store, a lone zebra stallion emerged. Anywhere else, he'd have been uninteresting, but in the hustle and bustle comprised mostly of unicorns, he stuck out like a thumbtack on a wall. Odd he was, though Velvet chanced a glance around to see if anypony else noticed him.

Nope, the hustle and bustle was still going strong. She turned back to the alley to gather more clues. Stranger still was where, specifically the zebra came out of. Far back in said alley, via a door with curtains that Velvet did not notice before, which shut behind him as he left. She veered right in that direction and cantered slowly to it, head high and ears perked in curiosity. She smiled at the zebra as their paths crossed around the middle of the alley. "Hello, good sir," she said.

"Good day to you too," the zebra greeted with a nod. "What is it that you seek?"

"I'm looking for Zejorpa's Wild Buck. Do you know where it is?" Velvet asked.

The zebra nodded, and lifted a hoof to gesture to the door behind him. "Just down that way. They have a special going," he answered.

"Convenient," Velvet thought with a slow nod. "I see. Thank you for the help," she said. The zebra nodded back with a smile, and past each other they trotted with grace. She, of course, made a beeline for the door with a quickened pace. Upon reaching it, she found not a sign indicating that it was, indeed, the establishment she'd been looking for. Parting the curtain without opening the door, she found plain wood with a glass window above the knob, the words ZEJORBA'S WILD BUCK painted on in curving writing.

She let the curtains fall and turned to her saddlebag, magically opening it and pulling out a satchel that jingled as it was disturbed. She opened that satchel and smiled at the gleaming bits within, some of which attempted to spill out of the container before her magic caught and returned them. Velvet closed the bag and put it back in her saddlebag, before opening the door and striding inside. She called out "Hello?" to be sure, but received no answer as the door clicked shut behind her.

Truth be told, she didn't know what to expect from an establishment with WILD BUCK in its title, but it seemed a lot more… tame than what she anticipated. The room had a receptionists' desk, breaking off into two halls at either side. The floors were carpeted with soft blue, and the walls and ceiling a dark red for contrast. Barring the two halls, there was little else—the establishment was surprisingly quiet for one so bold with its name choice, and whoever the receptionist was, they were not present. Perhaps she had come in at the wrong hours?

She had just turned to leave when she heard the sounds of hooves upon carpet. She stiffened, ears twitching for a moment. "Hello?" she called again.

"Coming," an unfamiliar voice replied, just high enough of pitch that she couldn't tell whether the owner was mare or stallion outright. Velvet waited for a few moments, and smiled with relief as she saw another pony enter from the right hall. She could tell this was a stallion, but his features were softer than most—rounder muzzle, slender legs, and a long tail fit for a mare. Only the short, boyish way his mane was cut really offset the image. She was certain he could pass up for a mare if he tried hard enough. "Hello, miss," he said, moving to settle behind the receptionist's desk. "What can I help you with?"

Velvet strode forward, smiling. "Yes; you see, I've heard there was a fertility brew sold here?" she asked. The receptionist nodded and pulled out a book from under the desk to peruse it. Velvet glanced around as he opened it and read through it, noting the lack of a bulletin board or anything of the sort on the walls. Though, some part of her mind wondered if such was deeper within the establishment.

A few minutes of silence passed before the receptionist answered. However, what he said wasn't what Velvet expected at all. "You'll have to see the owner to take the brew directly; safety concerns and all that. Plus, the limited supply makes it more tedious; it must be made by hoof."

"I do?" Velvet said, smile falling. 'Safety concerns' barely registered at all, and none of the rest was admitted into her mental processes.

The receptionist nodded, and turned to the right hall to call out, "Zejorba! We have one wanting the concoction!"

Velvet looked down the hall, just in time to see another door at its far end open. Out strode another zebra stallion, though he wore a few bits of silver jewelry. She had to admit, he did look a bit elaborate. They locked eyes for a moment, then he smiled and gestured her over with a hoof. "This way please," he said, turning around to trot inside. Velvet hurried along after him, though she was careful to keep from going into a gallop. Glancing along the hall as she went, she noticed no other doors to enter through. This establishment was built a bit strangely, though she supposed there were reasons for it.

Once inside the office, she noticed how… foreign it looked. Besides the standard desk and bookshelf that was situated near the door, it was less homely than the receptionists' desk area. The floor was concrete, and in the back corner stood a cauldron surrounded by corked herbs and bottled liquids. The walls, too, were built of concrete as well, and in the opposite corner was a firepit large enough for the cauldron. There were wall decorations present; fearsome masks painted in bright colors, adorned with feathers and the like.

She turned to the zebra as he sat at the desk, and he gestured for her to sit before him. She obliged and asked, "So, um… what's with all this?"

The zebra, whom she assumed must have been Zejorba, chuckled. "Well… potions can get a bit explosive if made wrong. I should know—I've had firsthoof experience," he said, smiling wistfully. "Made sure to have the desk and shelf reinforced, should anything go wrong."

Ah, that explained it. "Does potion-making require you to be alone?" she pressed.

A mute, resolute nod answered her. "Unfortunately, though that's for safety's sake. I don't want my clients exploded upon," he said. Fair enough, Velvet wagered. "So, what's brought you here to try the Fertility Extravaganza?"

Velvet winced. "Well… my husband has been rendered sterile, and… I keep making innate magic that I can't bleed off. If I get pregnant now, the foal will miscarry," she explained, somewhat shamefully. Her ears folded back as Zejorba bade her to continue with another nod, "So… I was hoping I could kill two birds with one stone?"

"Hrm…" Zejorba looked contemplative as he absorbed all of that. "Well… the brew can help with that…" he trailed off, rubbing his chin with a hoof.

"It can?" Velvet repeated, though some part of her mind sensed a 'but' in there somewhere.

Zejorba inhaled through his nostrils, shook his head and sighed. "It'll be pricier if I make a more… souped-up Extravaganza, as it were. Tell me, have you heard of how much it costs?" At Velvet's head-shake, he stated, "Two thousand bits total, for one souped-up drink. You see, the ingredients are awfully expensive, since they import to Equestria and all. And I have to make sure you're able to withstand it." He settled in his seat and asked, "So, who are you?"

Velvet's mouth flew off before she could reign it in, "Mother of Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle."

Zejorba's eyes flew wide, and his mouth dropped a little. A few seconds went by before he was able to contain himself, and his face steeled into the no-nonsense business-esque look that Velvet expected. "Alright..." He nodded firmly. "You have the bits?" Velvet produced her satchel and hoofed it to him, and he took it in his hooves to dump the money slowly and meticulously upon the desk.

After that, he spent a few minutes dutifully counting the bits, setting them aside in neat and tidy little stacks as he went. He did this without a word, instead opting to do the math in his head. Velvet took to glancing at the shelf again, noticing it had little wooden instruments and pumice figures depicting spear-ponies and tribal warchiefs fighting against hyenas and lions. There was also a further assortment of unfamiliar herbs, uncorked and exposed—quite possibly left there to dry out. Some had purple leaves, whilst others opted for vines and bristly thorns.

She turned her attention, once more, on Zejorba, still counting away the bits. "Do you grind up the thorny herbs?" she asked.

Zejorba nodded, pausing for a moment to remember how many bits he'd counted so far. "I'd have to; I'd rather burning tastebuds than cut cheeks," he retorted.

"So the brew's spicy?" Velvet asked.

"Yes," Zejorba answered. He resumed counting, eyes focusing on nothing else and hooves moving slowly, but carefully. A few more minutes passed before he stuffed the bits in the satchel and gave it back to Velvet.

"Hua?" Velvet took the satchel, brow raising and eyes going wide.

"Sorry, but… you're a few bits short," Zejorba replied with a sigh. "But, since you're looking for assistance… and you're Twilight Sparkle's mother, I believe I have an alternative for you."

Velvet nodded, unsure of what she was about to get into. "Go on…"

Zejorba obliged, "Well… this is going to sound unorthodox, but you must become a stripper here for the tenure of the potion's lasting effects."

"A… stripper…" Velvet began putting two and two together.

Zejorba nodded. "Until either the debt is paid," he said, "or you fall pregnant."

Velvet did the math in her head, idly wondering how Night Light would take it if he ever caught wind of this. She was pretty sure the other nobles would give her all sorts of flak for stooping this low, but… at the same time, she mothered a princess, so she reasoned whatever point they could make would be moot.

She nodded. Zejorba's eyes went wide again. "You already agree to this? But…"

Velvet cut him off, "Well… ever since the wedding fiasco, my husband has been… unable to provide in bed. He even told me to 'do whatever' I needed to do to have a third foal, so…" A rather sheepish grin crossed her muzzle at the absurdity of it all. "I'm… merely following his advice."

Zejorba took another moment to absorb all of that before nodding again and reaching under his desk to fumble for something. "Marital boredom?" he asked as he fished out a piece of paper and plopped it on the desk.

Velvet nodded. "I guess you could say that," she admitted. She was hoofed the paper, and started to read it. "Say, could I head back home every night, so my husband doesn't catch on?"

"Oh, sure, you can do that if you like. Make sure the terms are to your liking before signing, then. Now excuse me while I hunt for the inkwell and quill…" Zejorba said, getting up from his seat to trot out of the room. Velvet did just that, and re-read the terms thrice before deciding she would abide by them.