Bendcord

by Bendy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Sex, Science Fiction, Comedy, Discord, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 3932

Much to Bender's dislike Discord turns Bender into a Pony and sends him to Equestria.

Discord turns Bender into a Pony against his will, then sends him to Equestria for his own amusement.

Teen Rated: Contains: Crude sexual jokes. No real sexual graphic details though.

Published 2012-08-12 10:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-12 10:24:01 UTC

Bendcord

Bender's higher functions began to reactivate as he opened his eyes on an early Sunday morning.

"Uhhh." said Bender.

He sat up off the floor of his filthy apartment, then rubbed his face feeling the five o'clock rust telling him he needs beer.

So Bender stood up, then made his way into the kitchen.

As Bender walked into the kitchen small owls were startled, that ran away to hide in the small mouse like holes they made in the wall in places.

"Dammit, we got owls again!" Bender opened the fridge to find no alcohol inside. "And we're outta beer. Great, just great."

Bender walked out of the kitchen into the bathroom to pick up a bottle of aftershave off the sink with his right hand, then looked at it's label on the back.

"Hmm, it says it has alcohol in it?" he thought in his own head.

Bender knocked back the aftershave drinking it down all at once.

"Eh not bad, not enough alcohol though." There is a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of Discord in the mirror over the sink. "What the?! Who the hell are you and what's with the lame ass background?!" he shouted.

"Oh, this is gonna be fun." said Discord with a nasty grin.

"Oh crap, I feel like something bad is about to happen." Discord flicked his fingers turning Bender's hands into footcupes like his feet, and his right hand despite being a footcupe now is still able to hold onto the aftershave. "What the hell are you doing?!" He threw the aftershave at the mirror smashing it, but within seconds the mirror magically regenerated.

"Why I am having fun Bender." Discord flicked his fingers causing Bender to magically shape shift into a pony like body.

Bender gasped in horror looking at his body.

"What kind of sick joke is this?!" Bender checked his body for all the essentials to find he still has; an antenna on his head, a chest cabinet under his belly, his Thingy, a new tail, a new cutie mark of a brown beer bottle and a new neck. "Dammit, now I get both ass whiplash and neck whiplash because of you! And also how am I supposed to get hookers with this body?!"

"Why Bender you can get fully sapient alien pony hookers. That wouldn’t be bestiality."

"No thanks. I'll stick to humanoid robots, Humans and humanoid alien babes."

"Oh you're so closed minded. But anyway I don't think they have hookers where I think I'm gonna send you."

"Just tell me who you are now?!"

"What's the point? You're gonna forget this conversation anyway."

"What?!" shouted Bender.

Discord flicked his fingers causing Bender to fall asleep standing up.

"Hmmm, where should I send you? Ah I know." Discord flicked his fingers making Bender teleport with a blinding flash of light, to reappear in Equestria in the middle of the Everfree Forest at night.

Suddenly the sounds of hooves walking can be heard. "Oh, why do they keep following me in the Multiverse?!"

The Mane Six wielding the Elements Of Harmony accompanied with Princess Celestia and a dozen Royal Guards walk around the lounge looking for Discord.

"Where's Discord?" said Rainbow Dash. The room began to shake violently causing everypony to fall over on the floor apart from Rainbow Dash flying slightly off the ground. A powerful force coming from the bathroom sent the bathroom door flying across the room slamming into the wall, followed by a blinding flash of light coming out from the bathroom. "Well, looks like he's escaped again."

"What's going on?!" shouted Fry's voice. Fry only wearing his white underpants ran out from his bedroom to see all the Ponies in the room. "Am I on drugs again?"

"No, this is just a dream go back to bed." said Celestia.

"OK talking unicorn thing with wings."

With that Fry went back to bed.

*******

While Bender was still asleep standing up in the Everfree Forest a huge Manticore curiously walked over to Bender and poked him on the forehead waking Bender up with a start.

"What the?! Rawr!" Bender wrapped his arms and legs around the Manticore like a constricting snake, then proceeded to twist and bend the Manticore's arms and legs breaking them causing the Manticore to roar in pain. "Thought I was weak did yeah?!"

Bender retracted his arms and legs letting go of the crying Manticore to stand back up on his two back footcupes like a Human, it was then that Bender realized he wasn't in his own body.

"What's happened to me?!" He went down on his four footcupes. "How am I supposed to get hookers with this body?!" he shouted.

Bender then looked at his rump.

"Well, at least my ass is still shiny." He rubbed his face feeling the five o'clock rust. "I need beer."

Bender checked his surroundings noticing a dirt path near by.

"Ah, a road." he thought in his own mind.

He made his away to the road, then went along the road noticing all the bright colors of this universe he was in when compared to the darker colors of his universe he was used to.

"I don't think this is my universe."

As Bender walked along the road he began to feel weak, due to being low on alcohol in his body, so thus was low on power. Until finally his body when into emergency hibernation mode to reserve power by falling asleep while standing up just at the eves of the Everfree Forrest.

In Fluttershy's cottage the young beautiful Pegasus Fluttershy herself was sleeping peacefully in bed with a blue night light near on a dresser, however Angel Bunny near by was on high alert with his ears raised.

Angel went outside to investigate the sounds he heard and the strange smell of smoke and stale alcohol. It wasn't very long for Angel to find the source of the smell, which was Bender.

At first Angel was startled thinking of running for help, but then soon realized this strange machine Pony's eyes where closed indicating it was asleep.

Angel ran over to Bender to touch his cold metal right front footcupe to gain no reaction from Bender.

Angel had no idea what to make of this Pony, for he had never seen nor even imagined anything like it before, all he knew that one of Fluttershy's friends Twilight Sparkle may have a good idea what type of pony this is.

So Angel went hopping his way to Twilight Sparkle's house.

The young beautiful purple unicorn Twilight Sparkle was fast asleep in her bed covered with a light blue blanket themed with stars, when suddenly there was knocking on the door waking both her and Spike near by in his basket.

"What... What's going on?" said Spike.

While the knocking continued Twilight looked at the clock on the wall telling her it was three o'clock in the morning.

"What kind of Pony is up at this time?!" shouted Twilight. The knocking still continued. "I'm coming! Hold your horses!" she shouted.

Twilight walked down stairs to open the door to see Angel Bunny.

"What is it Angel?" Angel communicated with Twilight using Sign Language. "You saw a machine Pony? It's asleep? OK, I'll go check this thing out."

As Twilight and Angel walked through Ponyville to make their way to this strange machine Pony Angel saw they found they had been spotted by a certain rainbow colored Pegasus who flew down onto the ground landing in front of them.

"Hey, what are you two up too at this time at night?"

"Angel said he saw something."

"What did he see?"

"Come with us and find out."

"OK, this sounds exciting."

Rainbow Dash keeping herself slightly off the ground with her wings flew slowly along side Angel and Twilight walking on the ground.

"So what are you doing up at this time of night Rainbow Dash?"

"Eh, I just had a bad nightmare about Discord taking my wings again, then I saw you two."

"Oh, OK."

"So how much longer will it take for us to see this thing Angel saw?"

"It's just at the edge of the Everfree Forest near Fluttershy's--" Rainbow Dash flew off at lightning like speed. "… house."

Rainbow Dash within seconds arrived at Bender to land in front of him.

"What are you? Some kind of machine Pony?" Rainbow Dash made faces at Bender sticking her tongue out getting no reaction from him. "Hey wake up!" She started poking Bender, but then soon realized how bad he smelled. "Ewww, you smell of smoke and stale alcohol." She sniffs him. "And body odor? But how's that possible you're a machine?" Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. "Unless maybe you're a robosexual and that's the smell of your lovers they left on you? I personally don't see why anypony would find you sexy smelling like that? But than again if you cleaned yourself up a bit, I might give you a shot at me. I don't know if it's magic or not, but I find you for some strange reason sexy."

"Yeah, he does kinda look hot." said Twilight from behind her laughing.

Rainbow Dash went red in the cheeks. She then turned around to see Twilight and Angel.

"How long were you two listening?"

"Around the part when you mentioned robosexual."

"You two won't tell anyone about my sick fetish will you?" Angel and Twilight nodded. "Thanks."

"Come on, let's take him back to my house to study him."

Angel left to go back home to Fluttershy's cottage, leaving Rainbow Dash and Twilight to drag Bender by his back legs along the ground away from the Everfree Forest.

*******

Back in Bender's own universe Fry was still asleep in bed.

*******

Back in Ponyville Twilight and Rainbow Dash dragged Bender inside Twilight's house.

"I don't think anypony spotted us." said Twilight.

"Hey guys! Whatcha doing?"

Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked up to the ceiling to see where the voice came from to find Pinkie Pie standing in mid air above them.

"How are you doing that?." said Rainbow Dash.

"Yes Pinkie, how are you defying the laws of physics?"

"I dunno. I don't even know how I got up here from waking up." Suddenly gravity kicked in causing Pinkie Pie to fall to the floor. "Ow!"

Outside Twilight's house there was rustling of leaves up an Oak tree with the sounds of laughter coming from it.

For within that tree there was Discord hiding up there sitting up on a branch high up the tree, whom was crying with laughter covering his mouth with his hands trying not to be too loud to stop himself alerting the Ponies to his presence.

"Sometimes a little subtle chaos is more fun." thought Discord in his own mind. "I best get out of here. They'll follow me here to this universe as well and alert everyone, thus ruining my fun." Discord teleported far away from Ponyville in the middle of the Everfree Forest.

Discord created a light blue see-through sphere shaped bubble like force field around himself, soon the ground started to shake, followed by a blast of magical energy out from Discord, and then Discord disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

Back inside Twilight's house Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash watched Bender lying on his back while Twilight took stuff like porno magazines, circuit diagram sheets and magnets out from Bender's chest cabinet.

"OK, I can understand he likes porn of an unusual taste." said Rainbow Dash while pointing her right hoof at one of the naked Human women on one of the open porno magazines on the floor. "But what's with the magnets?"

"Maybe he likes magnets." said Pinkie Pie.

"Well yeah, but why does he like magnets?" Twilight's horn lit up with light to levitate a bottle of red wine into the room. "What's with the wine?"

"I think this machine is powered by alcohol."

"Oooh wow!" said Pinkie Pie. Twilight poured the wine into Bender's mouth causing the five o'clock rust to fade away from his face. "Did it work?"

There was a humming sound, then Bender's eye hatches opened.

"Huhhh, what?" He noticed his stuff on the floor looking alarmed. "Hey my stuff!" He quickly stuffed his stuff into his chest cabinet, it was then he noticed the three Ponies standing before him. "Ponies?!" Bender stood up on his four footcupes. "How am I supposed to get hookers with this body now?

"What's a hooker?" said Pinkie Pie.

"You pay one of them about fifty bucks to have sex with."

"What kind of Pony would want to grow up to become that?" said Rainbow Dash.

"You know I bet you Ponies must of done this to me?!" shouted Bender.

"Done what?" said Pinkie Pie.

"Never mind killing all Humans, kill all Ponies instead!" Just as Bender was about to charge at them Twilight blasted Bender's with a powerful magical force slamming him against a bookshelf causing it to fall on him. "Ow, that hurt slightly."

"Just calm down please! We didn't do anything to you!" said Pinkie Pie.

Bender stood up pushing the bookshelf off himself and despite what just happened he looked calmer than before.

"I dunno magical pony things, if you didn't do it, who did?"

"We don't know either, but we'll help look for who did it to you." said Twilight.

Spike walked down the stairs to see Bender.

"Are you a baby dragon?"

"Uh, yeah. What are you?"

"A robot."

"OK then."

Spike walked back up the stairs.

"What was done to you exactly?" said Rainbow Dash.

"I woke up to find I was turned into one of you!"

The Ponies gasped in shock.

"Well, that explains the strange porno you have." said Pinkie Pie.

"Hey rainbow pony?"

"Yeah?" said Rainbow Dash.

"Can you turn around for a second?"

"Why?"

"Just turn around."

Rainbow Dash turned around for a moment.

"Nice ass, but I still don't think I'd screw you."

"Awww, why not? What are you gay?"

"No, I just don't like animals that way."

"Why you closed minded jerk!"

"Eh don't worry, I'm sure in some other parallel universes there's sick parallel versions of myself visiting universes like this in order to screw you Ponies in a big steaming hot orgy."

"Okay, knock it off you two." said Twilight. "Now, Bender we need rest. So we'll help you in the morning, OK?"

"OK, just one thing."

Bender dropped a red brick onto the floor.

"Hey crap in the toilet!" shouted Rainbow Dash. "Wait is that a brick? Whoa I wish we could crap useful building material as well, just crap enough of them and you'll be able to build yourself a house here."

"Yeah, our crap is useless." said Pinkie Pie.

"Hey our crap is used as fertilizer!" said Twilight.

"Robots always have the best crap."

With that Bender closed his eye hatches falling asleep while standing up.

"Twilight, I don't know about leaving you and Spike alone in this house, so I'm gonna stay with you here tonight." said Rainbow Dash.

"I'll stay too." said Pinkie Pie.

"Yeah, who knows what this machine Pony could do."

Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Pinkie Pie took turns falling asleep on the floor in the same room to watch the sleeping machine Pony just in case he tried to do something both he and themselves would regret.

*******

On the following morning Bender opened his eyes to see Rainbow Dash stood in front of him looking at him suspiciously.

"I'm watching you robot."

"Can you stop looking at me?"

"No, just in case you try something."

Bender decided to change the subject.

"Know any good place to drink?"

"Is drinking what your Cutie Mark means?"

"Cutie Mark? What's that?"

"Oh sorry, I forgot for a second you’re not from around here. But anyway, I bet I could beat you in a drinking competition!"

"You're on chumpette! But what are the terms?"

"If I win you'll have to pay me back for the drinks with some good honest hard work."

"Right. And I guess you'll have to pay me if I win?"

"Yes."

Just as Bender and Rainbow Dash were about to walk out the front door Twilight ran in front of them.

"Where are you two going?"

"To have a drinking competition." said Rainbow Dash.

"This early?"

"Yeah."

"OK then."

Bender and Rainbow Dash walked out the front door.

As Bender walked with Rainbow Dash through Ponyville on a sunny morning some local Ponies stared at Bender in wonder while talking to one another in hushed tones.

"I take it their not used to seeing Robots."

"Well I've never seen anything like you either, except in science fiction."

"And I've never seen anything like you except in fairy tales. By the way, I'm Bender."

Bender put his right hoof out which Rainbow Dash shook.

"I'm Rainbow Dash."

Bender and Rainbow Dash came to the outside of a bar which was closed.

"It's closed."

"Hold on Bender." Rainbow Dash knocked on the door. Within seconds a large grey muscular blue eyed bald male Earth Pony with a big long black grizzly beard answered.

"Yeah?" said the stallion with a deep voice.

"Beardy, I need to use your bar for a drinking competition against him."

"Don't you think it's a little early for---"

"Come on!" shouted Rainbow Dash interrupting him.

"OK fine! Come on in."

Bender and Rainbow Dash entered the dark bar, then sat down on two wooden stools opposite one another around a small wooden round table.

"Be prepared to lose Bender."

"Oh I will."

Beardy left two shot glasses of vodka on the table, which both Bender and Rainbow Dash drank down.

As time went on the table began to fill with dozens of all manner of empty bottles of alcoholic beverages. Bender was still sober apparently unaffected by the mass of booze he drank, as for Rainbow Dash on the other hand she became so intoxicated at one point she wet herself. And finally after a few more shots of vodka after wetting herself Rainbow Dash vomited on the floor, followed by falling off her stool landing in a heap on her own vomit.

"Listen sweet heart I think you had enough, if you drink anymore I think you might die."

"Uhhhh, nos......... I cans..... I still beats you.... yous.... you jerk!" she said while rolling around on the floor on her own vomit.

Bender picked up Rainbow Dash carrying her out of the bar.

"Heyheyheyyoudon'thavetocarryme." She flew out of Bender's hooves to wobble in the air uneasily. "Whoa!" She fell but luckily landed down on a low cloud.

"How are you doing that?"

"Something …. about what …. about what's it... Hmmmm, oh my kind is sorta able to kinda control the weather."

"Could you fire lightning at me?"

"Yeah, buts …..... that's coulds kill you."

"Not me, I like lightning."

"And …. what's …. woulds I …... gets in return."

"Uh, I'll give you a hug."

"Yay, I likes hugs! I'll go get you a storm cloud right away."

Rainbow flew off wobbling from side to side in the air.

Bender sat on a stump while he waited for Rainbow Dash to find a storm cloud for him. When all of a sudden Lyra dived on Bender knocking him over.

"OhmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshIheardyouknowHumans!"

"What? Get off me!"

Lyra stood off Bender coming back to her senses, then helped him up.

"Sorry about that I was a little excited to find out you know Humans? Can you tell me everything you know about them please?"

"I'll tell you later, just please leave me alone for awhile."

"OK then, later."

Just as Lyra walked away Rainbow Dash came flying back dragging a small storm cloud.

"I …. I.... gots the cloud Bender." she shouted while still drunk.

"Hold on a second." He took a magnet out from his chest cabinet. "Hit me!" Rainbow Dash hit the cloud blasting Bender with lightning making him high. "Awwwwww, yeah! Give me more!" Bender placed the magnet onto his forehead getting him even more high also making him sing the song Wild Rover, while Rainbow Dash kept hitting Bender with lightning bolts from the cloud. "I've been a wild rover for many a year..."

Bender's antenna began to glow brightly while he sang Wild Rover, followed by a vast shroud of yellowish storm clouds gathering all over Equestria blocking out the sun, and then it began to rain beer all over the land.

Rarity looked her window in disgust watching it rain beer.

"Beer? Why couldn’t it rain red wine?"

In Sweet Apple Acres Applejack along with her brother Big Macintosh simply stared up at the sky in shock.

"What in tarnation is going on?" said Applejack.

In Canterlot many of the Ponies as if they were under control by some spell rejoiced in the rain of beer while lying on the ground with their mouths open drinking the beer and having orgies in the street with the many loose drunk mares joining in on the fun, with even most of the Royal Guard joining in on the orgies. However not all of the drunkards were peaceful, many of the drunkards were fighting over stupid things, starting fires in buildings, vandalizing shops and stealing from the shops. While all the drunkards were doing what they were doing, the non drunkards panicked in the streets trying to find safety all the while covering their children's eyes to protect their innocence from what the dirty things some drunkards were doing in the streets.

Back in Ponyville Rainbow Dash was no longer firing lightning at Bender, but was instead looking at Bender with concern, whom was screaming as if he was in pain along with the magnet no longer on his head.

"Bender, are you OK?"

"Why I am find Rainbow Dash." said Bender with Discord's voice.

"Discord?" she shouted in shock.

"Yes it is I Discord."

Rainbow Dash gasped in horror.

"I have to thank you for allowing me take full control over Bender." Bender's right hand punched himself in the head. "Ow!"

"This is my body virus!" shouted Bender with Bender's voice.

Bender fought himself by punching himself, until a ghost like avatar of Discord rejected out from his body, followed by Bender shape shifting back into his normal robot body.

"Well, this was fun while it lasted."

The Discord avatar disappeared in a blinding flash of light, followed by the beer rain stopping along with the sky clearing up with the sun coming back out.

Back in Canterlot, everyone was sober again and chaos had stopped.

Back in Ponyville Bender was lying on the ground groaning while rubbing his head.

"Oh, my freaking head."

"How did Discord take control over you?" said Rainbow Dash.

"He did some sort of spell on me."

"Yeah, that does sound like Discord."

"So... are you nicer when not under the control of Discord?"

"Eh, not that much."

"Oh."

There was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of Farnsworh.

"Bender quit messing around and get back in your own universe with me!" shouted the old man.

"Why?"

"You're late for work."

"Fine."

Bender took hold of Farnsworh's left shoulder, then disappeared in a blinding flash of light along with Farnsworh.

"Well this was a weird day." said Rainbow Dash.

The End

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I never got to ask him about Humans!" shouted Lyra's voice which was so loud it could even be heard by Princess Luna on the moon.