Anon World Order

Adagio waits restlessly as I finish washing the last dish.

"You can swim, right?"

I dry off my hands.

"Yes?"

"Good. I have planned an... outing of sorts. It will be nice to go outside, don't you think?"

"Sure, some fresh air will be good."

She seems put off by my indifferent attitude. Nevertheless, she leans in close, gripping the collar of my shirt in her fist. Her voice is low and honeyed, sweetly hinting at violence of an intensely personal sort.

"Don't even think about escaping. There's nowhere you can go that we can't find you."

"Why would I distance myself from this?"

I punctuate my response with a kiss on her lips, my hand cupping her jaw. For a moment, she presses back, her mouth beginning to open. Then her eyes widen and she pulls away.

"Y-you kissed me!"

"How observant."

Ah, she's angry now.

"Why did you kiss me?"

If I had to put into words,

"Because I wanted to."

Adagio brings a hand to her lips, staring at me with wary eyes.

"This is too easy, you're planning something."

I shrug.

"Not really. Shall we go?"

She grabs my wrist, not softly, but not firmly either. As she leads me from the room, she says,

"I'll be watching you."

"That's one of your endearing traits."

It's kinda fun, teasing her like this. She gives me a frustrated, conflicted look, then pulls me along faster. I emerge into the parking lot of a small motorcade. One of the many black SUV's has its doors open, and I see Aria and Sonata waiting impatiently. At Adagio's urging, I clamber into the middle back seat, pleasantly sandwiched between her and Aria. Aggravated Eggplant pokes you.

"What took you so long?"

I glance sidelong at the Poof.

"Adagio was just explaining some things to me."

Aria takes one look at her leader, and lets it drop. The motorcade starts up, and relative silence reigns. Until Sonata starts pretending to shoot people with her fingers, going "Pew pew!" each time.

The destination turns out to be a clothing outlet. Sonata merrily drags me to the mens' swimwear section. There she holds up two speedos.

"What do you think, leopard print thong or pure white man panties?"

Yeah, no.

"Boxers, definitely."

Aria creeps up behind me, whispering in my ear,

"Oh we can't have that. It would be a shame to cover up that scrumptious rump of yours."

I look to Adagio, the last bastion of decency. In retrospect, that may have been a bad choice.

"Oh, the leopard is very you, Anon. So shameless and predatory."

Yeah, definitely a mistake. Bluey presses it into my hands.

"Try it on! For me?"

I look down at the scrap of cloth in my hands and sigh.

"Alright, just give me a moment."

I close the changing room door and begin to disrobe. When I set my boxers aside, Aria calls out,

"I know you're used to masturbating into things like this, but try to restrain your urges."

I feel odd, being naked and hearing her say such things. As I reluctantly put on my speedo, I notice that Anon Jr is up for the fitting. Stupid boner. I check myself out in the mirror and the speedo is tight. Probably too tight for public decency. I open the door.

"What do you think, ladies?"

They eloquently say nothing. I turn slightly, giving them a profile view. Sonata gives me a thumbs up.

"It's very you!"

Aria clenches her hands in the fabric of her pants.

"Distracting."

Adagio runs off and returns with a pair of black swimming shorts. She holds them out towards me, averting her eyes.

"I may have spoken in haste."

Sonata whines a little as I return to the changing room. Aria just mumbles something about honey. When I emerge, Bluey just shakes her head.

"It's just not the same, Anon."

Aria tugs a little at my waistband.

"Could be a little tighter, I think."

Adagio pulls me away.

"I think we are quite done here."

I glance back at the changing room as we leave. Eh, I can get more clothes back at their home.

Miss Dazzle seems to relax as the four of us enter the building. I follow them to a large atrium in the complex. The afternoon sun shines down on an Olympic size swimming pool, littered with inflatable items of all sizes. I set my hands on my hips.

"I'll just wait here while everyone changes?"

Sonata promptly shimmies out of her clothes.

"Nope, I'm already in my swimsuit!"

She shakes her bikini clad bottom for emphasis. The other two just roll their eyes. Aria walks away, saying,

"Just don't drown him before we get back."

Bluey watches them go with oddly intent eyes. Then she slowly twirls in place.

"So~, what do you think?"

"It's very blue."

It was, perhaps closer to indigo. She pouts. You can’t leave it at that.

"And very you."

Sonata seems a bit happier about that and leans forward. My eyes are drawn to her cleavage, only lightly bound by the bikini top.

"In what way~?"

"It's very expressive."

"Hmmm..."

"And arousing."

She straightens up suddenly, delightedly watching my eyes go up and down.

"Good answer~."

Sonata takes long, languid steps towards me, her fulsome hips swaying.

"Are"

"You"

"Ready"

"To"

She grips the waistband of my shorts with both hands, a devilish grin on her face.

"SWIM?"

Bluey heaves me onto her shoulder, staggers backwards, then deliberately drops me into the water. I flail in shock, panic overwhelming the arousal from before. I surface with a gasp, trembling and irritated. Bluey is on her back, holding her stomach as peals of laughter ring out. You think that's funny, eh? That laughter turns to shrieks as I splash her with the largest wave I can muster. She retreats behind a pool chair.

"So you think the water is your ally?"

Sonata dashes out from behind the chair and vaults over my head, tucking her arms and legs into a cannonball. I bring my arms up in front of my face just in time, though I still get splashed pretty thoroughly. The siren rises from the deep with a predatory grin, and her bikini top floating several inches above where it should be.

"Ah, Sonata, your swimsuit..."

She looks down, shrugs, and stares me right in the eye.

"All the more advantage for me!"

Bluey arms are a blur as she sends great sheets of water my way. It's all I can do to back away and retaliate with my amateurish splashes. I deeply regret my choices, wishing I could see clearly again. Then I hear someone clear their throat. Sonata stops immediately, and so do I a moment after. Bluey has done nothing to fix the state of her swimwear, so I don't turn around. The voice behind me says,

"A water fight, Sonata? And you didn't invite us?"

Bluey finally fixes her top, and so I turn around.

Long, luscious legs. I look up. I am granted a vision of yellow underboob, bound by a purple string bikini. Sonata chuckles nervously.

"It just sorta happened."

Aria slips into the water nearby, in a black thong and what I are pretty sure is a wide leather belt across her breasts.

"You know, we finally have even numbers. How about Sonata and me against you two?"

Adagio slides in beside me.

"We accept."

What follows is a whole lot of growling, splashing, and "accidental" wardrobe malfunctions on all sides.

I climb out of the pool, breathing heavily. The pool chair is comfortable, and the sun is warm on my skin. The girls find their own resting places. Adagio chooses a nearby pool chair, turning it to face me. As she settles back and brings her arms behind her head, I appreciate the effort. Sonata drapes herself along a large inflatable dolphin, her ponytail clinging decadently down her back. Aria lays out a towel on my other side, and lays face down on it. She unbuckles her top and lays her head on her crossed arms. Honestly, I don't know where to put my eyes, so I settle on cycling through the options. At length, Bluey turns her head and looks at me.

"Oh, I just had an idea! Why don't we go camping tomorrow?"

Adagio glances in my direction, a wry smile on her face.

"We can have Anon set up the tent."

I have the decency to blush a little, though I don't bother to cover my lap.

"Haha, very funny."

Sonata raises herself up a bit.

"No, I'm serious! I mean, nice boner Anon, but I want to go camping for realsies!"

Aria doesn't even look up.

"Go pretend to be homeless on your own time."

Orangey sighs.

"It's not a bad idea, Aria. If we want to do it tomorrow, we should start planning today. Anon, you work with Sonata on the food, I'll handle the tents, and-"

Deep Purple interrupts.

"I'm in charge of setting things on fire."

Adagio frowns.

"Very well."

Bluey grins.

"Oh, I see. Adagio handles the tents~."

I wink at Colonel Mustard, fully on the same page as Sonata.

"Want to get started right now?"

Adagio pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Idiots, I'm surrounded by oversexed idiots."