Limestone blinked. One moment she had been on the farm. The next… not.

No poof. No flash of light. No nothing. Just one moment she was in one place and the next, another.

She furrowed her brow in confusion, realizing she was in room she’d never seen before. Pale purple wallpaper lined the walls, with a dainty red and pink heart pattern. The floor was snow white carpet; her hooves sank into it as though it had never been walked on before.

Right before Limestone was a desk. Papers were piled high on one side, with books stacked on top of them, with folders stacked on top of that. An upside down Neighton’s Cradle was clacking away. There was a little plaque resting front and center that read in a swirly font: We’re All a Little Mad Here!

Limestone turned to look further around the room, but her head only made it halfway. Directly to her right sat a griffon with a confused scowl on her face. It was no weirder than everything else happening to Limestone right now, but at the same time this felt off. She could’ve sworn nopony was standing next to her a second ago.

“What the heck?” The griffon squawked. Her brow scrunched at the sight of Limestone. “Who are you? What’s going on here?”

Limestone’s snout wrinkled in annoyance. “Who are you?” she fired back. “And what am I doing here?”

“Hey I asked first.” The griffon’s tone leapt to anger effortlessly. “One second I was talking to Greta and now I’m here. Now what gives?”

“How should I know?” Limestone snarled back. Who did this griffon think she was anyway? Nopony talked to her like that. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I did this then?” The griffon poked a pointy claw against Limestone’s chest. “Yeah right. I bet this is ‘cause of some dumb pony thing.”

Limestone batted away her claw. “Don’t touch me,” she growled. She could feel a spike of rage building, and the mysterious griffon matched it with a single glint of her eyes. “Now tell me what’s going on here!”

“That’s what I’d like to know.”

Both Limestone and the griffon paused, then shot their attention around. Right on the other side of Limestone was a tall blue dragon who had definitely not been there before.

“And who are you?” Limestone chorused with the griffon chorused, before exchanging dirty looks at each other just for being on the same page.

“I’m Ember,” the dragoness snapped like they should have known. “Who are you two supposed to be?”

Limestone ground her teeth. “Don’t lump me in with her.” She nudged her head toward the griffon.

“You gotta problem with me, dweeb?” The griffon shoved her, catching Limestone off guard. She nearly fell to the ground, but settled for bumping into Ember.

“Hey!” Ember barked.

“Watch who you’re shoving, birdbrain,” Limestone growled.

The griffon spread her wings, puffing out her chest. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, dweeb?”

“Stop calling me that!”

Ember groaned. “Would the both of you just shut up already?”

The griffon’s eyes narrowed. She marched forward, pushing Limestone out of her way. “If you think I’m gonna let some dweeb order me around you got another thing coming.”

“Oh yeah?” There was a fire in Ember’s eyes. And another, building up in the back of her throat.

Limestone could feel her own rage rising. Now she was being pushed around and ignored? That tears it. These two were about to learn why you don’t mess with rock farmers.

“Oh my, not one minute together and you girls are already fighting.”

The three of them stopped for a moment, disarmed by the sudden voice. Before they could even look around to find out where it was coming from, there was a flash of light right at the desk, and something appeared in the seat.

Limestone’s brow furrowed at what she was seeing. The creature before them was like nothing she’d ever seen before. It’s limbs were a mish-mash of pony, griffon, dragon, and… etcetera. It’s long, snakey body stretched well above the back of the chair it sat in. Long, silvery hair covered her face, which it brushed out of the way to reveal excited yellow-red eyes.

Then it hit her. She’d only heard about the goddess of chaos before, mostly from Pinkie’s nonsensical letters about her, and face-to-face with the draconequus herself there was no other explanation: Eris.

“Looks like you really do need my help,” she said with a giggle, putting her elbows to the desk and resting her head against her paw.

“What?” the trio exclaimed simultaneously, only to exchange dirty looks. Same page again, and still as annoying.

“Well, let’s get started.” With a snap, Eris spawned elaborate, gaudy chairs for them all.

Limestone was sitting in hers before she even realized what it was. Restraining cuffs popped up around all four legs, assuring her she wasn’t about to stop sitting anytime soon.

“Hey!” She cried, struggling against the binds. Even with all her strength it was pointless. Looking over, she saw that Ember and the griffon were having just as much luck with their own chairs. Her attention turned back to Eris with a fiery look. “What the heck is going on here?”

“Well I’m glad you asked!” Eris chirped. With a snap she made a screen and projector appear before her. Flipping the nearest lightswitch sideways, she plunged the room into darkness, save for the light of her just-starting-up presentation.

The griffon groaned. Took the words right out of Limestone’s mouth.

“You see,” Eris clicked through the slides, showing a photo of her chaotic Equestria. “After this little debacle I had to make quite the deal for my freedom.” She clicked the clicker in her hand that had definitely not been there before. The screen changed to an image of Princess Celestia, but one with googly eyes and a crude graffiti tongue. “Ole Sunbutt here maybe promise to use my powers for ‘good’ and to ‘help my fellow creatures’ and the like.”

The griffon snorted. “Sounds boring.”

Suddenly, Eris was beside her, paw on her shoulder. “Oh I know, right? Anyway…” Another click and the slide changed again. This time it showed Eris, or rather, half of Eris. Her top half was waving goodbye while her bottom faded to match the white screen. “If I don’t keep causing chaos with my magic I do this thing were I… eh, disappear forever.”

“What a bummer,” Limestone mumbled. A claw reached over and pinched her cheek. Hard. “Hey!”

“Oh, aren’t you just the cutest lil’ smart-aleck?” Eris’ grin did not match her words. Another click. Now the slide showed Eris putting out a house fire… with a gigantic hammer. Another click and she was wrangling out of control storm clouds like she was at a rodeo. Another click had her controlling a crowd with marionette strings. She cleared her throat. “So, I have to help out in my own chaotic little way, got it?”

Ember suddenly roared, a jetstream of fire flew from her mouth, incinerating the projector screen in an instant. The lights came up to reveal a pile of floating ash.

“Like I care,” Ember growled through a puff of smoke. “What does any of that have to do with us?”

“Well, if you’d been patient and not thrown a tantrum like a hatchling,” Eris remarked. “I was getting to that. You see, you three are the angriest trio I’ve ever seen! Gilda, you broke a griffon’s wrist just for saying your scones were too sweet.”

The griffon, Gilda, grunted. “He had it coming.”

Eris tsked. “Ember, I seem to recall you threatening to drown a few dragons in lava if they didn’t do what you said?”

“It was just a threat!” Ember protested.

“And Limestone.” Eris turned to her. “Throwing a hissy fit just because ponies touch some big rock?”

Limestone fought against her cuffs. She wanted to throttle the draconequus. “It’s not ‘some big rock’, it’s Holder’s Boulder! And—”

“Yes, yes. Whatever.” Eris rolled her eyes. “Like I was saying, you’re all riddled with anger issues, with just a little angst sprinkled in for good measure. It’s time some-creature helped you mellow out. So I’ve decided to make you all my next project!”

Pop! Pop!

Confetti cannons appeared from nowhere, showering the room with colorful bits of trash. Eris punctuated the moment with jazz hands and a big, dopey grin. “Surprise!”

Three stares of disgust, contempt, and indignation hit the draconequus all at once. And then the chair-bound trio went for her ears.

“Absolutely not!”

“You’re crazy!”

“No freakin’ way I’m spending my time—”

“Let me out of here already!”

“—with these lame dweebs—”

“You can’t do this!”

“You wanna see angry? I’ll show you angry.”

“—doing who knows what—”

“What in Celestia’s name is wrong with you?”

“—with a freak like you!”

Eris groaned as her palm hit her face. She let it slide all the way down to her jaw, and then stretching her face like a rubber band, just to punctuate her exasperation. “Okay, enough!”

Zippers morphed over Limestone’s lips, snapping her mouth shut. “Mmmph!” The sentiment was echoed by the others, finding themselves in the same predicament. It suddenly struck Limestone just how much power Eris held over them. Did anypony even know they were here? Could anypony convince her to let them go? Or were they actually going to have to play along with her dumb idea? She gulped, not wanting to know the answers, while fearing she already did.

“Now then.” Eris let her face snap back to normal. “Introductions are out of the way. Let me show you my plan to therapy-ize you into slightly less angry versions of yourselves.” She strutted forward, passing the chairs and disappearing into the three’s peripheral vision.

Limestone grunted into her zipped lips. She didn’t even have an anger problem! Sure, the two freaks beside her were temperamental as Tartarus, but she wasn’t. Limestone often considered herself calm, collected, and rational.

And she would be all of those things when she got free and bucked Eris halfway to the moon.

Her chair jolted into the air; Limestone lurched against her binds as it came to a sudden stop. She barely saw the same thing happen to Ember and Gilda, the action punching her into a daze. It lasted just long enough for the chair to rotate them all around, revealing the other side of the room.

Limestone wished it had stayed hidden.

Everything about the room was made for foals. Pastels of every poison, from purple to pink, assaulted her eyes. A giant crib, big enough for three adults centered the room. An equally massive playpen sat next to it, holding foalish toys galore. The other end had three high chairs, baby carriages, and bouncers.

It was a nursery. A nursery for giant foals.

Or adults, Limestone realized in growing horror.

In the corner, Eris was giving off some jazz claws/paws for her chosen instruments of torture. Her gleeful beam cemented her intentions. This was for them. This was all for them.

And Limestone stared, for the first time in her life mortally afraid for her own wellbeing.

Author's Note

I've been itching to tear into this idea. Figured I at least post the set up chapter while I hack away at the rest of it. Look forward to all the stuff you typically expect from a degenerate like me. And maybe some new things too.