City Folk

City Folk

Chapter 2:

The Beginning of the Journey

“You know… I don’t know what’s worse. The trigger happy unicorn or the thing following me around.” I muttered as I exited the building behind the crazed purple maniac as we headed towards the library.

“You know I’m right here right?” The purple unicorn asked stopping in place and glancing back at me.

“Exactly why I’m sticking with you. The other one is hiding in the shadows. Hmmm… Maybe it’ll eat you instead?” I stopped to think. ‘If I can lure it out then I can distract both Twilight and the creature, but then again I need those books. I’ll have to hold off on it I guess.’

Twilight turned and looked at me confused. “What in Equestria are you talking about? If there was anything following you the wards would have sensed it the moment you stepped onto the block.”

“Famous last words there,” I said aloud as I looked at the shadows around us.

Finally, we arrived at the door which Twilight quickly opened using her magic. Behind the door was a small if not cozy wooden room with shelves upon shelves of books. The place was lit by what appeared to be floating balls of fire?

“Welcome to my Library,” Twilight said as she stepped inside. “So what is it you needed again?”

I booped her on the nose as I walked by. “I need a book on a metal that can hold magic.”

“A metal that can hold magic?” Twilight muttered thoughtfully.

Suddenly all the books on the shelves were surrounded by a light lavender aura and quickly came flying off the shelves floating around the unicorn. Twilight then began looking through them at lightning speed.

“No. NO, no. NO!” She screamed tossing book after book behind her creating a pile of literature on the floor.

This continued for a while before she finally found what she was looking for.

“Aha!” The unicorn screamed triumphantly, “Would this be of use?” She asked floating a book over to me with her magic.

I looked down at the book. “Theoretical Metals and… whatever the fuck that is. Yeah. Gonna need to look into it a little. If you want to help me out while I do this you can look for some sort of tool to allow me to cast a spell… I’m not very successful without one.” I started looking around for a good reading spot.

“You can’t cast spells naturally?” Twilight asked making her way toward me with a curious but somehow evil-looking expression.

I poked her nose again. “Boop. I just cast a weak confusion spell on you.”

“Huh.” The unicorn questioned as the lighting of the room began to dim. “So you can cast magic naturally?” Why was the room starting to look red?

“You know… I understand that you probably don’t know this, but where I come from dimming the lights usually comes after a few dates first. Also, I think there’s something behind you.”

“What?!” Twilight screeched quickly turning around her horn glowing with magic.

“There’s nothing there you LIAR!” She screamed turning back around the room lights were now definitely glowing red. “I don’t like liars creature, the last creature who lied to me never got the chance to do it again,” Twilight said, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Hmmm… I suppose you’re right. Bad lighting am I right? But you seem to be getting confused a lot. I wonder why? Hmmm?” I gave off a smug look in her direction.

Alas, that smug look quickly disappeared as a torrent of purple lightning began flying in my direction.

“OH SHIT!” I screamed jumping to the side of the room. “Hey, Twi! You alright?! This weather is bad!” My ears were definitely ringing.

The lighting had rammed into the wall behind me leaving a gaping hole in the side of the building.

“I tried to be nice Creature, I really did.” I faintly heard Twilight’s voice through the constant ringing in my ear. “But just like in Cloudsdale, it only gets me a sarcastic flank-hole who cares only for himself!”

Soon another blast of lightning went zooming past my face.

“Ok hold up! Why the fuck did you say that I only care about myself?! Why do you think I’m here?! To save your asses from this weather! I don’t even live on this planet! Also, my sarcasm is a stress-coping mechanism of mine! I was just torn from everything I know a few hours ago! I lost everything! My friends, family, coworkers, house, and destroyed my way of living! So I’m sorry for trying to help your ass! You don’t need to blow me to bits!?” I yelled rubbing my ears trying to regain my hearing. “ And hold up for a moment, I can’t even hear myself yelling…”

With a pop of purple light, Twilight appeared in front of me with a somber expression on her face. Her horn glowed again and I felt a tingling sensation in my ears.

“There,” she said annoyed. “I stopped the ringing.”

“Testing one-two. Yup, they seem to be working. God that ringing was horrible.” I looked up to Twilight from the floor.

“Human?!” A familiar voice called from a small distance away. Followed a little later by what sounded like a stampede of hoof steps.

“Aye, it’s Rubble! Careful!” I screamed. “This one’s a real shocker! Pun intended.” I waved in his direction.

“TWILIGHT!” Rubble roared as he entered the destroyed library.

“Uggg.” Twilight groaned. “What?”

“How many bucking times have I told you not to do this shit!” He howled tossing a book at the unicorn who easily deflected it. “Do you know how much shit I’ve fought so the city council will let you even live here?!”

“Yes Rubble,” Twilight responded exasperated as she began reassembling the wall she’d destroyed. “We’ve had this conversation many times before, blah blah blah, city council, bleh. It can’t be that big of a deal. Without my wards, the city would be a pile of rubble by now.”

“You do this every time a new person shows up at this library, this city’s already got enough problems without you blasting half of it with purple lightning!” Rubble Yelled exasperated.

“You think I don’t know that Rubble? I was there when the weather orb exploded, for Celestia’s sake I bui-”

“Twilight Sparkle!” A gruff voice called from outside the library.

“Shit,” Rubble cried glancing at the door. “Human, you see that table over in the far right corner?”

“Oh, you mean the table that would have been a good spot to read a book? Absolutely. All this is still kind of shocking isn't it?” I attempted to get up, but a slight pain changed my mind.

“Yeah that one, look. Under the right leg is a switch could you press that for me?” He said pointing at the table in question that was a little ways away.

“Rubble what’s going on? Why is Steel Breaker outside?” Twilight Asked nervously.

“I’ve been trying to tell you Twilight” Rubble replied as he began piling pieces of furniture and other debris in front of the door. “The Council gave you one more chance to stop almost blowing up half the city and with your little display a few minutes ago. You just blew it.”

I wiggled over towards the lever. “Hey, Twilight. If we all get kicked out make sure to grab that book” I said pulling the lever. “Looks like we’re going on an adventure!”

The table lifted up revealing a ladder leading to an underground passageway.

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Twilight said sheepishly glancing at the ladder.

“Whatever,” Rubble responded running over to us. “What are you waiting for? GET GOING!”

I pulled myself to my feet. “I’ll go last. We’ll need that book Twilight!”

“What’s so important to you about that book?” Twilight demanded as Rubble began forcing her down the ladder. “It’s just full of theoretical metals and myths!”

“Now’s really not the time Twilight!” Rubbled replied grunting trying to force the feisty unicorn down into the passageway.

“Just try and be quick about it alright human?” With that, the trash pony and Twilight disappeared into the dark passageway.

I quickly grabbed the book and ran to the door removing all the furniture and debris Rubble had leaned against it.

“Hey, you all! It seems we can both benefit here!” I called to what I realized was a mob of ponies outside the Library. “

You all want Twilight Sparkle gone right!? Well, I’m from a whole different planet and I need a test sample! So I’m going to take her away! What do ya say!?”

“It’s that creature I saw at the market!” A voice called from the crowd.

“But he’s offering to take away the lavender devil.” Another countered.

“SILENCE!” A voice boomed silencing them all.

“How can we trust you, creature? I was not aware of your existence.” A commanding voice called from the front of the mob.

“Yeah, what if he’s from the zone!”

“Why would I reveal myself without an offer? Also, I don’t know what the zone is, but I can reveal that we are planning to fix your weather problem! Can’t say when it will be done though.”

“Really? You a creature from another planet is going to fix our problems? Please, that’s ridiculous.” The dark grey pony at the forefront of the group replied laughing.

The mob soon following suit.

Not getting the reaction I was hoping for I decided now was probably a good time to leave.

“Well, it looks like it’s time for us to vanish! Fare thee well!” I yelled dashing away from the door and quickly tossing the book down the hole before climbing down shutting it behind me.

I landed at the base of the ladder with a grunt. ‘It’s pitch black down here’ I thought to myself trying to regain my bearings.

Faintly I could see a purple light round a corner a little way ahead of me.

“So you two ready for an adventure?” I asked as I approached the two ponies.

“Gah” Twilight screamed jumping in surprise. “When did you get there?”

“Wait, you mean we’ve been going in circles around the ladder this whole time?!” Rubbled asked enraged.

“It’s not my fault the map of the sewers changed since I was last here!” Twilight retorted.

“Why you!” And thus began the most underwhelming and stupid fight I’ve ever witnessed as two fully grown ponies battled it out on the floor of a sewer.

“You two are idiots,” I said dumbfounded as I pried the two off each other. “Why do you need a map? Just follow the current. This shits gotta go somewhere. And if you’re like this the entire way. I paused, “I’ll push you in. I still owe you for trying to kill me earlier.” I said giving a pointed look to Twilight as I retrieved the book from the floor.

“I guess that’s a good idea,” Twilight said pushing Rubble sending him careening into a nearby stone brick wall.

“For buck's sake.” Rubble groaned dragging himself over to me. “Alright human, since you seem to be well versed in science of waste disposal, please do lead the way.”

“Dude it’s just common sense. Also you two, please don’t make any sparks or fire in here.” I said sighing, “I’d rather not suffocate in this shitty place.” With the warnings out of the way I began following the flow of the sewer water.

Both of them glanced at each other for a brief moment before quickly following after me.

“So,” Twilight began as she and Rubble caught up to me. “Where exactly are you from?”

“A highly advanced planet called Earth. If you come in contact with them, don’t piss them off.” I stepped over a dead rat. Gross.

“Oh,” Twilight replied wearily dodging the dead rat as well as opposed to rubble who stepped on it. “What’s it like?”

“Matters where you are. Probably like this place all the way to a paradise. That was disgusting by the way.” I forced myself not to look back at the rat remains.

“Eh, it's not a big deal, you’d be surprised how many corpses one finds when taking out the trash.” Rubble responded his hooves leaving bloody hoofprints as we continued along.

“So what exactly were you doing up there for so long?”

“Oh, you know. Making it so that they won’t search for us. We just have to stay hidden until we get out of the city.” I just kept walking.

“What did you do?” Rubble asked coldly, stopping.

“Oh, I just told them that I’m an alien and that I’m abducting you two. They’re not the smartest bunch…” I did a funky alien gesture as we walked.

“Oh.” Rubble responded relaxing. “Wait, you told them you’re abducting us?!” He asked surprised.

“Yup! And don’t worry, I don’t have any probes on me.” I chuckled at my own joke.

Rubble sighed again. “So much for going back home after getting Twi over here out of the city.”

“But aren’t you just a trash pony?” Twilight asked rejoining the conversation. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Look, my job isn’t the best. Actually, it’s the lowest of low. Every day I go pick up someponies trash, weather that be spare parts, rotten food, or more commonly corpses of some kind. Rats, pest, you name it. What bothers me is we’re going to be leaving one of the last sane cities still in Equestria, if not the only one.”

“You call this place sane? Guess I better lower my standards then. So you say the weather is causing all of this? Guess we’ll just have to fix it then.” This walk is getting kinda boring.

“And how exactly do you plan to do that human?” Rubbled asked as the darkness around us began to be pierced by light.

“The exit!” Twilight yelled happily running off.

“Don’t run Twilight. You might regret it.” Rubbled called after her.

“What do you mea-WOAH!” The unicorn cried coming to a screeching halt on the edge of an outflow pipe leading to a lake full of murky water.

“For Celestia’s sake Twilight! What were you thinking, you know we’re in a sewer, and you know that the area around here is at least 40 feet below the city!” Rubble yelled pulling Twilight away from the edge.

“Geez, cloudsdale really did suck all the smarts out of you didn’t it.”

“Shut up trash pony!” Twilight retorted.

“What did you call me Mrs. Celetia’s faithful student!?” Looks like another fight was about to begin. On the edge of a cliff no less.

“God it’s so tempting to push you off…” I sighed as I slowly walked up to them and flicked their horns simultaneously.

“HUMAN!” They both screamed simultaneously. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?”

I shrugged. “Would you rather have me push you off the cliff? Cause that was really tempting. Plus my name is Mike.”

“You were gonna push us over the edge!” Twilight questioned looking over the edge.

“Ugg, Twilight, forget it. We need to find a way down from here or we’re gonna be sewer ponies for the rest of our lives! Any ideas, Hu-, uh, Mike?”

“You’re the one with magic. Figure it out. Plus isn’t this your escape route anyways?” I asked.

‘God. All it needs is a little push and she’s gone.’ I thought glancing at Twilight who was leaning over the edge looking for who knows what.

“Well, we could jump into the lake down there,” Twilight said gesturing to the body of murky water at the bottom of the outflow pipe.

“Eh,” Rubble responded looking unsure. “But we don’t know what’s in that stuff, no wait. Actually, we do.”

“Oh yeah,” Twilight said her face looking green.

“We could try descending the cliff-side around the outflow pipe.” Rubble purposed pointing a hoof at the cliff the city was based on.

“How in Equestria do you expect us to do that with hooves?” Twilight questioned annoyed.

“Well do YOU have any better ideas? It’s either the cliffside or the lake of shit, pick your poison Twilight!”

Twilight growled annoyed. “FINE, the lake of shit it is. I have an anti-bacteria spell if need be.”

“You what?! Why didn’t you mention that sooner!”

“Uh, I forgot about it?” Twilight responded sheepishly.

“You really are scatterbrained these days you know that?” Rubble asked sighing. “Alright, you ready to jump into a puddle of shit Mike?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I said glancing at the wonderful murky water below. “all at once?”

“If we don’t find a shower soon after this I’m going to destroy both of you.” Rubble said also looking anxiously at the wonderful body of water below.

“Alright, on three! One. Two. Three!”

At once the two ponies raced toward the edge and jumped.

I quickly grabbed Rubble stopping him in his tracks. Watching as Twilight ran and jumped off the edge. The look of confusion on Twilight’s face was absolutely priceless.

“Paybacks a bitch,” I said with a devilish smile as I heard a splashing noise.

“Woah Woah Woah!” Rubble screamed as he watched Twilight plummet into the lake below. “Why’d you do that Mike! Are you crazy?!”

“No. Maybe. Oh well. So you want me to carry you down? If not feel free to jump.” I said a large smile gracing my features.

“I, uh. Uh. Carry me down please?” Rubble responded watching a shit covered Twilight emerge from the pool with an absolutely feral scowl.

I turned around and squatted. “Alright climb on my back and don’t let go.”

“Alright, but if you drop me, Mike, I will make sure to haunt you until your death.” Rubble said slowly climbing onto my back.

“Don’t worry. Just land on Twilight! Oh and hold this.” I lifted him up and waved the book in his face.

“Huh, oh yeah.” He responded somehow grabbing the book with his hooves.

“Use your magic dumbass. You have to hold onto me too.” I walked over to the cliff and got another look of Twilight.

“Oh yeah.” Rubbles horn glowed a soft grew as the book was left levitating in the air as he held onto my back with his hooves.

“Maybe the lake would’ve been better.” Rubble muttered looking down as we began our descent.

“Oh please. I’m part monkey for a reason.” I began climbing down the cliff. ‘This is easier than I thought. I probably could have brought Twilight down too… Nah…’

“Any particular reason you despise her so much?” Rubble asked as we continued downward.

“Dude. She tried to kill me…”

“Oooooo, so that’s what the purple explosion was. She was streaming purple lighting at you right?”

“Yup! Hehe… and now we’re even.” I was making good time.

“Looks like we’re almost at the bottom,” Rubbled muttered sounding relieved. “So you’re using this book to find, eh. Mythril was it?”

“Yeah. We’re going to fix the weather problem.” I looked down. ‘Hmm… can I jump from here?’

“I see, and you really think it will work?”

“I hope so, else I’ll have to figure out a way to cast my own magic. Woah!” I jumped the few feet down.

“YOU!” The angry voice of Twilight promptly greeted our ears. “HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FALL ALONE INTO THIS UNFORGIVING FILTHY PIT OF SHIT!” Twilight continued her horn beginning to glow brightly with the tell-tale sign of magic.

“Twilight wait!” Rubble screamed jumping off my back with genuine panic on his face. “Don’t use your magic! You know how the enviornme-”

His cries fell on deaf ears as a very familiar stream of purple lightning began flying toward us. A stream that promptly dissipated into the air.

Rubble’s look of panic quickly turned to anger. “You’ve really bucked us over now Twilight!”

“What? How is Twilight not killing us a bad thing? I mean. She could have just destroyed the entire city with that.” I said pointing towards the methane emitting pool of shit that traveled below the city.

Suddenly swirls of large dark clouds began forming above us.

“That’s how she’s royally screwed us over Mike!” Rubble yelled pointing at the sky as a massive line of lightning split it in half. “Ever since the Weather orb, unicorn magic in certain areas causes a reaction to the environment creating catastrophic weather events like this!”

Rubble quickly ran over to Twilight and plonked her on the head with a hoof. “And because of YOU, we’re out in the open with no cover!”

Just as he finished speaking a huge bolt of lightning shot down into the pool shit sending it flying all over us.

“Well, this is some shitty weather! Get to the cliff!” I yelled quickly darting to the nearby rock wall.

“Twilight you idiot!” Rubbled screamed as the wind began to pick up.

“I’m sorry!” Twilight screamed quickly following after me.

“Well, this is Just great Isn’t it.” Rubble said as he leaned against the cliff.

“Not even 5 seconds out of the city and you’ve already created a tempes!”

Another lightning bolt steeked across the sky followed by a loud explosion. Looking up I could see a few pieces of debri flying out from the city.

“We’re fucked.”