Blowin' Smoke

by FabulousDivaRarity

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Slice of Life, Narcotics, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Treehugger
Length: 1068

Tree Hugger is smoking. Spike has no idea what that is.

Spike thought only dragons could breathe smoke. Apparently he was wrong.

Inspired by the song "Blowin' Smoke" by Kacey Musgraves.

Published 2019-07-01 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-01 03:10:01 UTC

Blowin' Smoke

Author's Note

Just a random silly thing that popped into my brain.

Enjoy!

Blowin' Smoke

It was a bright summer day in Ponyville. Birds sang, skies were clear, and the flowers were in full bloom. It was a perfect day for Spike The Dragon to take a stroll around town. Spike had a rare day off today from Twilight, who had gone to a friendship retreat with her friends. Big Mac and Discord were coming over later for Ogres and Oubliettes, but for the day itself, he had time to spare. He found himself down by Fluttershy’s cottage. The trees and flowers there always made for a beautiful view. Spike arrived in time to see Tree Hugger coming out from Fluttershy’s cottage, and decided to stop and say hi. Running forward, he caught her eye quickly.

“Hey, radical to see you again, little dragon.” Tree Hugger spoke, smiling slowly.

“Nice to see you too, Tree Hugger! Did you have a nice visit with Fluttershy?”

“It was so groovy. Our Aura’s just totally connected. It was righteous.” She said.

“Uh… Cool?” Spike said. “Where are you headed now?”

“To become one with nature, little dragon.”

“That sounds nice. Can I come?”

“Sure. Everypony is welcome to commune with Nature.” She said.

He brightened. “Great!”

“Come on.” She said, and breezed along.

They came to a small grove of trees near the park, that formed a kind of circle. Nestling herself in the center of the grove, Tree hugger laid under the shade of one of the trees. Spike followed her, and sat down. He noticed a small pile of sticks nearby, arranged as if getting ready to start a fire. And then, Tree hugger began rummaging around in her saddlebags, and pulled out some small pieces of paper, along with a bag of what looked like plants.

Spike was obviously confused. “What are you doing?” He asked, as she got some of the plant and rolled it into a paper.

“Enjoying nature, little dragon.” She licked the paper closed, and then Set to making a tiny fire. She only got it going enough to light a couple of sticks, and lit the rolled paper. Then, she blew the sticks out, and leaned against the tree. Putting the rolled paper between her lips, she inhaled deeply, and then, she exhaled, smoke coming from her mouth. The smoke smelled odd. Dragon smoke often smelled like the smoke by a fire. But this was… different somehow.

Spike was confused, and curious too. He’d never seen that before. “How are you doing that?”

Tree Hugger opened her eyes blearily. “What do you mean, little dragon?”

“How are you, a pony, blowing smoke out of your mouth like me, a dragon?”

“It’s called smoking, little dragon.”

“Smoking?” He repeated.

She nodded. “Smoking. If you light what I have in here, it burns slow. Then you suck on the other end, and smoke comes out into your mouth and lungs. It’s called smoking a joint.”

“Does it hurt?” He asked.

“Not a bit, little dragon.”

He looked very thoughtful for a bit. Then, finally, “Can I try it?”

“Sure.” She smiled, and passed him the joint.

Spike had to stare at it a few moments to figure out what to do. Then, he was about to copy Tree Hugger’s motion, when a shriek stopped him.

“SPIKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

He jumped at Twilight’s familiar shriek, and the joint jumped out of his claw, and mercifully landed in Tree Hugger’s hoof.

“T-Twilight! I-I-“

“Spike, come with me, now!” Her tone was completely nonnegotiable.

Spike gave Tree Hugger a sorrowful glance before running to Twilight and preparing for a lecture.

He was right to.

“Spike, smoking is a terrible habit, and it’s awful for you! It can give you asthma or COPD, it can give you cancer, it can destroy your lungs and give you breathing problems! What were you thinking?! It’s not safe!”

“But Twilight, I’m a dragon! I smoke all of the time!”

“That’s different! That’s a part of your biology!”

“But if I already make smoke, wouldn’t it make my lungs immune, or not affect me?”

“That’s not the point! It could really hurt you!”

“But how do you know?! I’m a dragon, not a pony! Who said it couldn’t be different in how it effects me?!”

“Because what was in that will affect you the same no matter what! It doesn’t just ruin lungs, it affects your brain too!”

“What?”

“It kills your brain cells and makes you addicted to something, and makes you need it and crave it all the time! And when you don’t have it for a long time, it can really hurt and you can go through withdrawals that make you shaky and cranky and all these other things!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I upset you, Twilight.”

She nodded, in some small measure of control. “Thank you. I was coming to find you because I couldn’t find a book I needed for the retreat. I wasn’t spying on you. I was looking for you, and I saw you there and I just…”

“It’s okay, Twilight. I understand. What book did you need?”

“Fantastic Days With Friends: The Guide To Endless Fun.”

Quick as a whip, Spike went and grabbed it. “You put it in a stack to read again, and it wasn’t on the shelf, remember?”

She smiled, putting the book in her bag. “Thanks, Spike. I’ll see you later.”

“See you!”

“And don’t go getting into that kind of trouble again.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

With that, Twilight teleported away.

After about two hours, Spike decided she was safely on her way there, and went back out to the park to find Tree Hugger. She was exactly where she had been a few hours ago, though her eyes were bloodshot and red.

“Hey Tree Hugger, can I try it again?” He asked.

“Yeah, little dragon. Change your world.” She said, passing what appeared to be another joint to him.

Checking to be sure he wasn’t being watched, Spike put the joint in his mouth and inhaled deeply. He did not cough or hack as she’d thought. He had no adverse reaction whatsoever. All he felt was relaxation. As he blew the smoke out of his mouth and leaned against the tree, only one thought crossed his mind.

I knew Twilight was just blowing smoke…