Hunter the Hunter

Hunter was on a chariot headed to Canterlot. Apparently a weird pony thing knew his name and wanted to see him really badly. He re-read the letter.

Dear Hunter,

We have arrested an odd-looking pony-like creature which refers to itself as 'Ellie' and knows your name, claiming to be the 'Great One' that made the deal that brought you here. A chariot is being sent to pick you up.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

He was going to finally meet Ellie. And in a prison, no less. Eh, whatever. No doubt she could probably make them explode with a thought and walk out. She's probably just going with it. One of the two guards pulling the chariot looked back at him. "I was told why I'm here right now. Do you know her?"

Hunter nodded. "Yeah, she's the reason I'm here."

"Are you an illegal?"

"Nah. She's a literal god of the eldritch variety."

"Ah, I see. Believe me, that's not the craziest shit I've heard."

"I don't doubt it. Uhh, how long will this shit take?"

"About another minute, look ahead."

He did so, and saw the castle growing ever closer. After a minute, they landed and Hunter got out, patting the guard on the head a few times. "Thanks. Now go feed your family or some shit." They left with a laugh and Hunter began to walk into the castle. He would've kept going, had he not been stopped by some asshole.

"What are you doing here?!" The pony yelled at him.

"Do I know your dumb ass?"

"Such crude language! And I hope not! Your....rags are not fit to be worn in this magnificent castle!!"

"Ah, so you're THAT type of asshole."

"Augh!! You're lucky I don't have you arrested, you barbarian!!"

"Excuse the shit out of me, I was invited here by Princess motherfucking Celestia, dipshit. Why else would I be here?"

"There's no way she would ever invite somebody as low as you to this castle to talk with HER!"

"Well, that's odd then..."

"Hmmm?"

"If she didn't invite me, then why do I have a letter directly from her?" Hunter held up the letter. His face spread into a shit-eating grin as he tapped the seal. The pony's eyes widened and a look of horror dawned on his face. Hunter put the letter away and walked past him with a relaxed gait. "See ya, jackass." He sped up a little farther down the hall, asking guards where to go. He passed through the halls, admiring the architecture. Not the coolest shit he's seen, but it still looked great. After an ungodly amount of time, he reached the dungeons. Presenting the letter to the guard, he was let in. In the distance, he saw Celestia staring into a cell. "Hey Celestia." She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say a word, someone he couldn't see exclaimed excitedly.

"Hunter!!!"

Hunter called out to the voice. "Ellie?" He jogged over to the cell to see a pony-like creature there. It had no eyes or ears, just a wide mouth grinning at him and large, fluffy ears. It had a long, straight mane that flowed down her head and over her small shoulders, going down to her knees. She had ten legs, all essentially the same, all ending in a rounded point. Her tail was very long, and near the end, her tail also had long straight hair, hanging down to the same length of her mane. She was sitting like a pony would, her tail wagging excitedly. Hunter turned to Celestia. "Let her out, she's telling the truth." Celestia nodded and told the guards to do so. They opened the cell and Ellie shot out, impacting Hunter in the chest and bouncing off lightly, landing on the floor with an 'oof'. Hunter stumbled backwards a few steps, then walked up to her and, using hands, picked her up, holding her out at arm's length. "Nice to finally see you."

"Same with you! How are you doing in this reality?"

"Great, actually. I broke a few ribs fighting an 'android', whatever that is. Your pendant helped a lot! Oh, and I got this cool gun thing." She flinched, but continued smiling, and looked at the shiny steel gauntlet he had with some parts on it she couldn't identify. Celestia felt a presence in her mind. 'You're lucky the thing that hurt my Hunter is dead.' She shook her head to clear it.

"Cool! Can you put me down?" Hunter did so, and she walked up to him, and nuzzled his leg. Hunter crouched down to talk to her.

"When can I complete my end of the deal?"

Ellie blushed and began to stammer. "I-in a few days....I-I...I uhh...have to touch u-up on m-m-m-my form." She turned to Celestia. "I cannot leave Canterlot. May I stay here for a few days?"

Celestia thought for a moment, then nodded. "I'll get you two a room."

Ellie giggled. "Only I'll be staying here."

Celestia looked at Hunter, who shrugged. "That works. I suppose you're going to leave, Hunter?"

"Yeah, Creampie or whatever her fuckin' name was invited me to a party." One of the guards choked on nothing and Celestia flinched hard.

"Her name is 'Pinkie Pie', Hunter."

"Oh, shit, it is, isn't it. Damn, that changes my expectations of her 'party'." A few guards began laughing uncontrollably, and Celestia was embarrassed beyond reason. Ellie was giggling a lot.

Hunter was confused. "Christ, you guys act as if those kinds of parties are rare." A few seconds passed as he thought about it. "Oh shit, they are? Well then, that's another difference between our realities. Did you know that Yharnam has a bunch of brothels? About ten, if I'm recalling it correctly. Now, I never went to one, but I knew people that did." A few seconds passed. "I'll.....just go. Bye."