Hunter the Hunter

by mojowuq9

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Profanity, Random, Violence, Crossover, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 13151

(Not a displaced) In the gothic shithole of Yharnam, not all hunters are official. Some are citizens, recruited as hunters by various groups. Hunter is one of them, and on one night, he dies.

(Not a displaced) In the gothic shithole of Yharnam, not all hunters are official. Some are citizens, recruited as hunters by various groups. Hunter is one of them, and on one night, he dies.

What an odd afterlife he ends up in.

Published 2019-07-03 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-19 22:20:23 UTC

Introducing Hunter, the Hunter

Author's Note

Yes, this is yet a new fuckin' series.

If this seems fast-paced, It'll hopefully slow down a bit in later chapters.

Introducing Hunter, the Hunter

"Lookin' good!" *Snapping* A man dressed in this attire was making finger guns at himself in a mirror. Why was he dressed like that? Tonight was his first hunt. It always happens at night because that's when some citizens turn into furries. Beasts, is what they're referred to as. "Well, now that that's done, where the fuck is my weapon?" After searching around his house for a few minutes, he found it under his bed. He pulled it out, (his weapon) the large weapon was called the 'Kirk hammer'. It was a sword that you can insert into a stone block to make a large hammer. He put it on his back and slid the sword into a sheath he stole off a corpse in some alleyway. Just as he got adjusted to the weight of that bitch, there was a knock on his door. Opening it, it revealed another hunter. "Guacamole?" The hunter scoffed.

"It's 'Gascoigne'. The hunt has started." The hunter walks away, dragging a big axe along the ground. Hunter steps outside.

"By the fuckin' blood, is this shithole cleaned?!" The streets looked like shit. Blood was everywhere. Up walls, down alleys, clogging drains. Corpses were all over the place. There was a guy with a whirligig saw up his ass. It was sticking out of his mouth. "Well, that must've sucked. Okay, where are the beasts?" He almost immediately heard a roar, a rotten wolf jumping into vision down the street. Hunter began to sneak towards it, but it started to charge at him. He waited until the beast was close enough. He transformed his Kirk Hammer, and slammed it down on the beast's head. It's skull caved, but it didn't slow down, slamming into him, sending the corpse and Hunter careening into a barrel of crude weapons. FUCK!!! A pitchfork was impaling his arm, the weapon stuck between the bricks on the road. Sticking a piece of cloth into his mouth, he bit down and pulled out the pitchfork with his free hand, his screams muffled through the process a few tears soaking into his blood-soaked...mask. He fell limp, spitting out the cloth and breathing hard. After a few seconds, he pushed the pain down and tried to get up. He collapsed with a suppressed scream. He groaned, and, holding his arm by the shoulder, stood up, hissing through it. It took time to stick the block on his back and sheathe the sword. Shuffling, he tried to seek out another hunter. After a few minutes, he found the hunter from earlier. He was butchering a few corpses. He called out to him. "Gascoigne?!" The hunter stopped, raising his head. "I injured my arm beyond movement! Do you have a blood vial?" Looking at the corpses for a moment, he realized what they were.

Citizens. Hunters. Hunter's eyes widened, and he looked back as Gascoigne to see the hunter 'looking' at him, growling. "Wait!" Gascoigne lept, crossing the few meters of distance between them. Hunter jumped left, rolling and barely dodging the axe, which slammed into the stone, causing sparks. Hunter already knew what was wrong. The blood had gotten to him. He unsheathed his sword. Gascoigne swung, and Hunter tried to dodge, but he altered his swing, catching Hunter in the stomach, tearing through his coat and spilling his innards everywhere. The last thing Hunter saw was a hunter swinging a Saw Cleaver into Gascoigne's skull...

Hunter screamed, his eyes shooting open. He clutched at his abdomen, only to feel no injury. He realized that his arm wound was also gone. He sighed shakily. He was in The Hunter's Dream. He's never seen it before, but it apparently existed.

"You are not in the dream, Hunter." He looked up to see an indescribable entity. Actually, he couldn't describe anything besides himself. But...the entity was humanoid. "You want to know my name? I'm Hjgsvfksbhjesk.....oh right, you mortals are simpletons. I'm Hugo."

"....A-"

"Yes, you're dead in your reality."

"...W-"

"You're in what you would call; Purgatory."

"..W-"

"You're here because nhfhdiv-I mean Ellie, has taken a liking to you for some reason even I cannot fathom."

"Wait....So, Ellie has a crush on me so she transported my dead ass to a different fucking reality?"

"That's a rather blunt and simple way of putting it, but yes."

"....Well, that's a weird method to kidnapping somebody."

The entity scoffed. "Ellie doesn't want to meet you here, you can't even perceive her here. No, you're being sent to yet another reality. A peaceful one, where nobody dies from injury and it is basically a fairy tale."

Hunter thought for a few seconds. "I know there is no 'no' option, obviously to this, but that sounds pretty fucking great. Yeah, I'll do it."

"You....don't want to know why Ellie desires you?"

"I'm gonna regret asking you, but why?" The regret in his tone could be felt.

"She wants to try to reproduce with you, and your quote 'Fuck it' unquote personality makes her think you'll agree to it."

Hunter is shocked. Of all reasons to go to a paradise as an afterlife, it's because an ELDRITCH MOTHERFUCKING GOD WANTS TO FUCK HIM?! It takes him a while to regain his words. "...Well, I guess I have to go along."

Hugo looks shocked himself. "That reaction was not what I expected."

Hunter rolls his eyes. "It's not like I have a fucking choice, but who can pass up on some ascended poontang?"

"Quite crude language."

"Eh, it works. Besides, I go to paradise with the only price being sex. That's quite the fucking bargain."

"Hmmm...I will tell her that you're on board and are not angry with her. Goodbye, Hunter." Hunter feels impossibly tired, and succumbs to sleep...

Hunter woke up. He was on a bed of flowers, and fucking hell, it was SOFT! But, he still had to get up. The environment was beautiful! There was a small lake, with some creatures that weren't going to fist him to death, like rabbits, birds, and others all living in peace. The grass was short, and there were healthy trees swaying gently in the breeze. The sky was blue, and the sun was shining. He smiled. His weapon looked great as well, polished and repaired. His attire/armor looked done-up as well. Wait, shit. He was in his birthday suit. He noticed that there were scars where he was injured earlier. There was also something new. Hanging off the guard of his sword, there was a pendant. It was made of silver. The thin chain had tiny carving in every link. The pendant itself looked like interwoven vines, with an image of him carved into the middle, his sword pointing down and his hands resting on the pommel. The 'vines' extended off the main structure of the pendant, looking like a sun. The meaning of the piece of jewelry occurred to Hunter. He was Ellies shining sun, the one who warms her. "Wow, this is fucking beautiful! She's very attached to me, a person she's never met....Oh well, I'll see her somewhere."

He put on his armor/attire, the pendant as well, letting it hang outside of his coat. Placing the black on his back and the sword in a new sheath that fits it, he set out. Or he would, if he didn't hear a voice. "Hello?" He looked at the source, but didn't see Ellie. Well, it COULD be Ellie. He saw a...purple horse. She, he assumed it was, had wings and a horn. "Who are you?"

So it wasn't Ellie. Well, no reason to lie. "I'm Hunter, a...hunter." (And not a good one.) He saw the shock on her face. He then remembered the animals nearby. "NOT of regular friendly animals, though! I wouldn't hurt these adorable creatures!"

She sighed with relief. "That's a relief. I'm Princess Twilight of Equestria. What are you?"

Hunter raised and eyebrow. "You don't know what a human is?" She shook her head at his response. "Ahh, I see. Well, this IS a paradise."

"I've never seen a human before. How'd you get here?"

Hunter chuckled. "OH, you'd NEVER fucking believe it." Twilight flinched at his swearing, but didn't comment on it.

"Well, how about you come with me? You could tell me this....unbelievable tale over lunch maybe?"

Hunter shrugged. This paradise was weird as shit, but at least there were things he could talk to. "Seems reasonable. Lead the way, Princess."

And so they went.

Questioning Hunter, the hunter

Hunter walks into the big fucking crystal tree castle that blends into Ponyville like shit on white velvet, with Twilight in front of him. They make their way down the empty as EA's promises corridors, doors evenly spread along the hall like a prison. Hunter had enough, and made a very echoing exclamation. "Holy fucking shit, this place is emptier then Gherman's sex life!"

Twilight also had enough. "Can you cut it out with your swearing!?" The anger in her expression could paralyze a cockatrice.

Hunter nodded. "Is swearing illegal?"

"No, but impolite."

Hunter chuckled. "Thank the fucking moon. Anyways, where is the room you're going to interrogate me in?" Twilight was shocked, but grumbled and kept walking, Hunter following her. His words finally registered to her.

"Interrogation?"

Hunter responded sarcastically. "How else is a fucking princess going to talk to a stranger whom she's never heard the species' of? Motherfucking tea and cookies?" 'Although that does sound good...' He said to himself.

"Well...yeah. That was the plan." She replied, unsure of her "plan".

Hunter facepalmed. "You're a fucking PRINCESS! Come the fuck on, you had NO FUCKING PLAN for if something you didn't know SHOWED up within YOUR territory?!" Twilight cringed, and shook her head with a nervous smile. Hunter shook his own head sadly then waved her off. "Eh, fuck it, let's do this. Lead the way, your highness." After another ten minutes, they were sat down, Hunter's chair to small for him. "Ask away."

"What is the purpose of hunting specifically beasts?"

"Because they come out every night and without the hunters, they'd be fucking the total population of Yharnam in the ass."

"What is Yarnham?"

"It's pronounced 'Yarnam', and it's a city, the one I lived in."

"Where is Yharnam?"

"Another reality." Twilight looked at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Yharnam is in another reality along with the OTHER humans."

"Allllright...how did you get here in that case?"

"Oh, I made a deal with an eldritch god. Hugo, his/it's name was."

"And what was this deal?"

"I just have to fuck a different eldritch god named Ellie. She wants kids. And before you ask, I didn't know she didn't even exist by name or anything else."

Twilight was stunned. "...That...that is impossible."

Hunter shrugged. "Believe it or don't honey, either way I'm here."

Twilight's head impacted the desk as she groaned in half-anger, half pain. "Fine," She mumbled. "Fine, I'll believe you." Spike, a baby dragon Hunter met earlier, walked in. Twilight smiled and asked him to write a letter. It was about what Hunter said, and how he interacted with reeeeaaalllly bad shit. Spike sent it, and they waited in uncomfortable silence for a while before there was a knock of the main door. Twilight excused herself, and Spike walked off into a side door. 'Probably to beat off or something.' Hunter got up and walked to the door, attempting to listen to what Twilight was saying.

"Hello my student~" The tone made Hunter raise an eyebrow. "You've been naughty little girl~" He heard Twilight moan. "But your punishment will be later~ For now, we have to talk to your..."guest"~" Hunter was stupefied. 'what the fuck...?'

"I haven't done anything with him mistress!" Twilight said as if she was incredibly horny. "I swear!"

"Oh, but you WANT to~" The voice got quieter. "And I must punish you for that~" Twilight moans again. "But now, let's go talk to your "Guest"." Hunter ran back to his seat and sat down, keeping his eyes neutral, as his bandanna hid the rest of his face. Twilight and her teacher (As she said) walked in, Twilight obviously hiding what happened, and doing a worse job then any Bethesda bug patch. "Greetings. I suppose you are Hunter?" Hunter nodded. "Great! Can you tell me what you told Twilight? She didn't tell me everything in the letter."

So Hunter told her what he told Twilight. "-And that's it."

Celestia took a few seconds to process the information. "Alright, thank you. Can you tell me about the hunters?"

Hunter sighed in pain. "Oh, Moon. Alright. *Breaths in* About 50 or 70 years ago, an expedition was lead into the catacombs, caverns, ruins, whatever, below the city of Yharnam. This invariably fucked Yharnam and all cities deeper in the ass then a gangbang. They found what we call 'Blood', and well, it IS blood. Blood of fucking eldritch gods, referred to as 'Great Ones' by 99% of the population due to the fact that the books telling of other religions are in the royal library. FYI, I broke in to read them. Anyways, this blood can heal LITERALLY EVERY INJURY AND DISEASE EVER. However, there was a pretty big fucking drawback that fucked you harder then any disease ever could. Well, that's what were damn sure caused the plague of beats that surged across Old Yharnam and Yharnam. I don't know too much, as the royal library is infested with eldritch babies that will eat your ass. Either way, there's beasts everywhere, and they need to fucking die. So, the Church of Blood or whatever...Ah, yes! The HEALing Church sent out the first hunters to do what their name implies and hunt the beasts. After a while, the plague got too bad and the public found out. Hunters because heroes and a hunter trained under the first hunter, Gherman, named Ludwig started a group called the Holy Blades. They failed like my dad
's condom and citizens started becoming hunters. I became one and got 'good blood', called 'paleblood' or some shit. I died by another hunter named...Gascoigne. He was jacked to shit on regular blood and was a beast mentally. I told you the rest."

Celestia was horrified. "That's horrible!! You lived during that!!" She forced Hunter into a hug. "I'm so sorry!!"

"Nah, it's fine." Hunter waved her off, his voice muffled. "I've had it good compared to some others in that shithole." Celestia released him.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I just cannot believe that anything that bad could even happen! But this reality is better! You can be happy here!"

Hunter nodded. "Exactly! Now, how will residence work here? Will I get a house or what?"

Celestia pondered the matter. "For now, you can stay with Twilight until we arrange something for you." She laid a hoof on his leg. "It's the least I can do." She stood back up. "Anyways, goodbye Hunter. I look forward to talking with you again."

After she had left, Hunter sat up. "Well, that went far better then I thought." He looked at Twilight and smiled, though she couldn't see it. "I thought she was going to immediately smite my alien ass."

Fucking Over Hunter the hunter

"Ellie, there's no point in packing bags. They can't even go there." Unfortunately, the eldritch realm cannot be described, nor what anything actually looks like. Well, some things can be described. Such as the following. Ellie sighs and the aforementioned stop existing.

"I'm just so nervous Hugo! I've never met a mortal before!" Ellie says this in a very nervous voice.

Hugo thinks back to earlier....

Steafe, another eldritch god (I'm calling them 'Great Ones' from now on.), was sitting at a "table" with the other Great Ones. "Fine. We'll draw straws. Shortest straw has to help Ellie with her transfer."

A voice echoed through the room. "What could be so bad about Ellie?"

Everybody rolled their eyes, Steaf telling the voice why it was so. "Ellie's going through her fertilization cycle. Mortals call this 'the period' and it is a nightmare with Great Ones. Also... OEDON YOU LUCKY BASTARD!!!! Anyways, let's do this, and may whomever is above us BESIDES OEDON have mercy on the short straw drawer.

They all drew the straws. "All right, reveal." Everybody did so.

"Oh no."Everybody looked at Hugo.

Steaf shrugged. "Well, sucks to be you. Bye." Hugo stood up and left, now knowing what those 'Milennials' felt like.

"You'll be fine, Ellie. Just make sure to actually talk to him, don't run away and hide. He's a mortal, not one of the Greater Great Ones, like Oedon."

Suddenly, Steaf shouted, the walls slightly reducing the volume. "OEDON DOESN'T COUNT!!!!"

Hugo shook his head. "Anyways, leave as soon as you think you can. I must go."

Ellie waved at him. "BYE!!" Hugo waved back slightly and walked out, closing the door.

"OH, SHIT!!!"

"What the fuck did you do?!"

"I ACCIDENTALLY SENT A TON OF DARK ENERGY TO HUNTER'S REALITY!! NOW EVERYTHING THERE COULD BE TURNED GRIMDARK!!!" Ellie kicked down Steaf's door.

"YOU DID WHAT TO HUNTER!!!!????" Ellie was so pissed that Oedon was scared.

Steaf replied in submissive terror. "D-don't worry, everything will be the same on the surface. grimdark secrets and shit. He's a hunter, he can handle it."

"IF Hunter is injured in any way, I will tear you into a mortal." Steaf swallowed hard. He wanted to cry in a corner. Ellie ran off, terrified that Hunter would be hurt if she didn't act quickly.

Oedon spoke up. "Well, you're fucked."

"OH THANK YOU, I DIDN'T FUCKING NOTICE!!!!!!"

Hugo interrupted them. "Moving on, how can you fix this, and if not, make it not as horrible?"

Steaf sighed and slumped in his seat. "We can try to influence his interactions with these grimdark things, and turn it into a neutral interaction rather then a negative one. Basically, we can make him not die."

"But..." Hugo began.

Steaf sighed sadly. "But if he fucks it up, it can turn negative."

Hugo facepalmed. "He's going to do precisely that. Perhaps we can give him a bit of a boost?"

Steaf sat up. "Like what?"

Hugo thought for a moment. "How about a couple spells?"

Steaf shrugged. "Will do."

"Hunter!" Hunter woke up, recognizing the voice calling out to him.

"Hugo?"

"Great, you can here me. There's a big fucking problem. Steaf accidentally sent tons of dark energy to the reality you're in, and now, under the surface, everything has a grimdark secret. We're giving you spells, but that's all we can do."

Hunter groaned. "Oh, for fuck's sake! Can I get away from this SHIT for five fucking minutes! Holy SHIT!"

Hugo scoffed. "Apparently not. It's like a shitty writing tactic."

Hunter waved it off. "Anyways, let me sleep, I'll deal with it in the morning."

"WAIT, one more thing! This grimdarkness has changed The ponies: Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Princess Luna!" Hunter nodded and closed his eyes.

Hunter was standing in a field covered in white flowers. The moon was shining bright, and behind him, a dark blue pony was staring at him, a harsh glare on her face.
.
.
.
.
.
Hunter broke the silence, having chose his words very carefully. "Yo, wassup?"

"I am not interested in your primitive speech, mortal."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Your archaic insults do not work on me."

"Ah, I see..."

Silence.

"Leave so thoust may fucketh thine own form." The pony got into an aggressive stance. "I highly suggest you leave immediately."

She scoffs. "Is that an threat?"

Hunter's tone turns sarcastic. "No! I'm trying to give you tea and fucking cookies! YES, it's a fucking threat!" Luna charges, but the distance is very far. A voice from nowhere starts singing a tune.

"What sound does a helicopter make?" He stabs with a dagger that came out of nowhere, but he barely moves, leaving Luna confused. "Helicopter? Helicopter?" The dagger turns into something else, and the voice turns very artificial. "A helicopter goes-" The dagger is now a sword/spear thing, (A Bisento, I believe) and he begins spinning it overhead. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" Luna can't think, she collapses, and he slowly advances on her position. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" Luna tries to scramble together enough mental capacity to leave, but it is almost too difficult. The horrid repeating 'Swa' is burrowing into her mind. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" He is very close, and she manages to le- "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Luna stands up and runs, and after what seems like miles, she realizes that she escaped, and collapses, crying into her hooves. Bawling her eyes out.

"SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA" She jumped up immediately.

"Wh-who's there?" The landscape changed into an infinite field of white flowers. "N-no...NO! NO!! NO, PLEASE!!"

"What sound does a helicopter make?" Luna whimpered. "A helicopter goes SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA...."

Hunter had a nice sleep, and loved tormenting Luna. She was being a douchefuck to him. In his OWN dreams. Dumbass. Right now, he was sitting in the library reading a small book on what his spells were. "Wait, that's a spell?" He read it out. "'How to be a Helicopter'? Cool! Wait, there's a story to this?"

Giving a Tour to Hunter the hunter

Hunter was eating breakfast with Twilight and Spike. He had a bowl a cereal and was digging in until asked a question. "Hunter, why did you become a hunter?"

He froze immediately. "For my own interests."

Twilight was confused. He never answered like that. "Uh...okay. Other then that, how do you hunters fight?"

Hunter smiled under his bandanna. "I can't fight like them, because I don't have any blood within me. But they can zoom around the battlefield like a wasp on crack."

"Crack?"

"Addictive drug. Anyways, we can tank a lot of damage without slowing down before we die, except me. And usually they wake up in the Hunter's Dream after dying, with me yet again as the exception. I woke up in the Elder Realm...or that's what I'm gonna fuckin' call it."

Twilight was writing it down on a scroll she got from who fucking knows. "Why are you named Hunter? I thought that, based on what I've been told by you, that humans are just....named."

"Well, I got my name when I signed up."

"Wait, so humans are nameless until they get a job or become something?"

"Nah, we're named from birth?"

"Then why didn't your parents name you?"

Hunter stopped and glared at her. "I don't talk about those beasts."

"...Sorry.." At that moment, the dining room door swung open, the opener a blue pony. With only wings.

"Hey Twi!" She noticed Hunter. "WOAH, who the hell are you?!" Her tone wasn't hostile, more amazed and confused.

He decidedly answered as straight as possible. "I'm Hunter, a hunter of beasts, a human, male, age 25, and I don't wear clothes for formal reasons because my big ol' dick has no sheath."

The pony's face exploded with a blush, and so she grew a bit harsh. "Well, I'm Rainbow Dash, the manager of the Rainbow Factory, a pegasus pony, 26 years old, and I'm the faster pegasus in Equestria!"

Hunter grinned. He was going to answer with a polite response. "Well I'm the fastest human in this fucking reality, so I think I'm a few steps above your cloudy ass."

Rainbow Dash spluttered. "Well, I'm faster then you!"

"Cool. Not that impressive."

Rainbow Dash thought for a moment, then grinned. "Fine! I'll show you around the Rainbow Factory! That'll impress you!"

"Alright, let's go then."

"Manager Designate: Rainbow Dash?" A robotic voice called out to Rainbow. The voice came from from a grey-coated pony with metal wings. "Is it wise to allow Designate: Hunter into the Rainbow Factory complex?"

Rainbow sighed. "I'm showing him that I am, in fact, better then he is!" The pony blinked and muttered 'Affirmative' before walking away with heavy metallic hoofsteps.

Hunter jerked a thumb in the pony's direction. "Who's that asshole?"

Rainbow looked at him while putting on her jacket, which was covered in blood. "The pony in charge of running the Pegasus Device, the thing that produces raw Spectra."

Hunter snapped her a finger gun. "Rainbow cum, right?"

Rainbow scoffed. "No, Spectra, not...that."

"Close enough. Anyways, where is this gloryhole?"

"It is NOT a GLORYHOLE!!"

"Well, then what the fuck is it? It gets Rainbow cum-"

"SPECTRA!"

"-Rainbow cum from pegasi! What the fuck else is it supposed to be a fucking meat grinder?!"

Rainbow tossed a coat at him. "'Meat grinder' is a pretty good description, yeah."

He tossed the coat back at her. "I've already got protective gear, dipshit."

"How am I supposed to know?!"

"I hunt beasts! What did you think these clothes were for?! What, did you think that every time I kill a beast, I go home and deep clean this shit!!??"

Rainbow threw her hooves up. "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!"

Hunter gestured towards her. "Well then, get moving! Show me this murder machine!" Rainbow smiled, and lead him along the corridors, screams of death and pain echoing from everywhere. "Your soundproofing is dogshit." Rainbow rolled her eyes and continued along. Eventually they came to a door, and she opened it.

"Welcome to the Pegasus Device!" Hunter looked at the scene. A pony with his wings bound had been dropped into a giant meat grinder, and a few colours of the rainbow (Hunter assumed that Rainbow's mane was all the colours of the rainbow) were flowing through various tubes along the machine. There were some more ponies below, all probably soon to be ground. "Impressed now?"

Hunter shrugged. "Yeah, it's pretty cool." Rainbow counted that as a victory and grinned. "Hey, is there lunch room in this place?"

Rainbow nodded and waved a wing down the catwalk. "Follow the signs." Hunter began to walk away. "Oh, the employees in there may be acting weird."

Hunter gave her a thumbs-up and left. The screams never stopped being heard, they were everywhere. 'Jackasses. Don't they know that a sane employee is usually better?' Rather then musing to himself the low, low intelligence of the architects, he decided to focus on hit path. Which was interrupted by that pony from earlier. "Yo, wassup?"

The pony's voice was still weird as hell, and...his? Tone unreadable. "What is your destination?"

"Always the charmer, eh? I'm headed to the mess hall, or whatever you call the fuckin' place."

"Why?"

"Because I have to eat as well. You guys need better soundproofing. You know what? I'm gonna ask someone where the HR department is."

"We do not have a...." The pony stopped for a few seconds. "Pony Resources department in the Rainbow Factory."

Hunter rubbed his chin in thought. "Yeah, that makes sense. Anyways, bye." The pony blocked his path. "Excuse me?"

"I cannot let you leave."

Hunter groaned. "Not this shit." Suddenly, he was punched in the chest. It was metal. The pony's hooves were METAL. Before he could dodge, he was bucked in the chest, sent flying down the corridor, and he slid along the floor, impacting the wall. "Ow..." So much shit was broken. 'All of his ribs' was on that list. The pony was flying towards him, and extended a hoof, probably to cave in his skull. Hunter reached in his coat and pulled out a derringer he got from some homeless dude 15 years ago. He fired it at the pony's eye, causing it to stagger and land, sliding to a stop. Hunter lunged towards him with newfound strength and punched through it's metal hide. He grabbed something that felt important, braced, and ripping it out, the pony jerking hard backing and falling over, twitching. Hunter looked at his hand. "Holy SHIT!" He had a beast hand, but it was only slightly bigger than his. He was holding something that was glowing. He looked back towards the pony to see it dash backwards, and stand on all fours. Holding the weird device, his hand turned to normal, and he was healed. So he had a beast within? And it only came out at certain times? Hunter drew his sword and took a stance, pointing his sword forward while resting the blade on his other arm. The pony leaned forward, it's wings flexing, the feathers now sharp. "Let's do this."

The pony charged at him, and jumped, his hoof splitting, a blade extending from it. Hunter spun, sliding past him and transforming his weapon. The pony whipped around and met Hunter's hammer, which said 'hi' to him with a gentle 270 pounds moving at 50 kmph. (The peak speed of the average sword blade during a swing is 77 kmph based on a Google search.) The pony's head twisted and his neck broke. The pony hit the ground. "....How the FUCK did I do that?" Looking down, the pendant was glowing. "Huh. Well, that's overpowered as shit. Wonder what he had on him.." Hunter searched through the corpse and pulled out a gauntlet-thing. He read the description. Where it came from, he had no fucking idea.

The ARC Projector is a ranged weapon used by the Rainbow Factory's mechanics officer, an android.

It fires electric charges that cause a small electrical explosion, which stuns nearby foes...or friends.

It can hold a max of five charged, each one taking approximately 10 minutes to recharge.

"A lightning gun. Fuckin' sweet!" He strapped it to his arm, then looking up, saw Rainbow looking at him like he just murdered her entire family. "What?"

"How the FUCK did you kill him?! He's a fucking ROBOT with swords and reflexes faster then me in bed!" Hunter shrugged and pointed at his pendant.

"Something to do with this pendant." Rainbow pointed at it with a hoof.

"Where'd you get that?"

"It was a gift from a Great One, or as I call it, an eldritch god, named Ellie." Rainbow took a few steps back. Hunter picked up the corpse, needing both hands. "Don't worry, I won't kill you, you didn't attack me. Now, where does this heavy bitch go?"

Author's Note

If there is something wrong with this story, please tell me so I can try to improve it!

Intermission: Meanwhile in Yharnam Part1

A boy was sitting in the corner, curled up into a ball to keep warm, as he was wearing but rags. Not too far away, his parents were talking. "Look at the weak thing! He isn't even fit to be food!"

"Perhaps we should at least put him in an orphanage."

"No! It would be better off to everybody if we threw him to the streets! He might be able to distract a beast for the good hunters!" He turned to the child in the corner, sneering at the boy. "But probably not, damn waste of skin."

The woman sighed. "Fine."

The man grinned and walked to the child, grabbing the mop of hair a=on his head and wrenching the child to his feet. The man dragged him to the door, unlocked it, and threw him out, slamming the door and locking it back up. It was colder outside, but even worse, it was night. And the boy knew what happened at night. He got to his feet and ran to the nearest alleyway. As soon as he reached it, he froze.

A man covered in bandages was trying and failing to catch the scurrying rats around the alleyway. "Bloody rats! Why do they have to be so quick!?" The boy thought for a moment. He was quick. Perhaps he could be useful! A rat was close enough, and the boy snatched it by the tail. The rat looked rotten, with gnarled hide and teeth, but it couldn't bite him. He tried to call out to the man, but since he didn't know any words, he only made a simple, yet effective sound.

"Bah!" The boy exclaimed, the arm holding the rat extended towards the man. The man spun around, and seeing the rat, beckoned the child over.

"Hey kid, if you give me that rat, I'll give you something in return." The kid went to him and dropped the rat in his outstretched hands. The man snapped it's neck, and reached behind him, pulling out a small piece of cloth wrapped around a tiny red ball. "There. One rat for one pellet. Maybe you can trade it for food or something." The boy didn't know what 'trade' was. Perhaps if he gave to someone, they would give him food? Was that what trading was? Perhaps it was good to have a few more. After all, having one one of something sounds and feels better then just one. He caught a few rats with ease, and was given another ball for each one. He tried again, but the man didn't have any more balls. "Come again later, kid. Thanks though." The kid gave him the rat anyways, he didn't have any use for it, and left to find a source of heat.

The boy was walking around, looking for someone to 'trade' the balls to. Then he heard a roar and spun to see a beast charging towards him! He was frozen with fear as the beast ran straight for him! Only....to run past him and around a corner. The boy fell backwards. Shouldn't the beast have snacked on him? He recalled his dad's words about him being too useless to even be beast food. A 'Waste of skin', whatever that meant. He realized that the beasts wouldn't attack him. Sure, they were still scary, but he was safe! He got himself to his feet and ran to look around the corner. There he saw the beast laying dead, a hunter hitting it with something. He looked down at the 'pellets' he held in his hands, all one one one of them. Maybe the good hunter would give him something for them. He made his way towards the hunter before it left. The hunter noticed, and pointed it's weapon at him. When he got close enough, he stopped, the hunter staring at him, that scary white face following his movement. He held up the pellets towards it. "Pellahs!" He exclaimed. The hunter, after a few seconds, lowered it's weapon and walked up to him and gently took the pellets. The boy kept his hands up, and after a few more seconds, the hunter dropped weird red things in his hand. The hunter then, realized that he was scarcely older then a toddler, crouched down onto one knee.

"What are you doing out here, little one?" The boy cast his eyes down, and looking closer, the hunter noticed the bruises and bloody scalp. "Oh, you poor little thing, let's get you to shelter. It's called the Oedon Chapel, and it'll be nice and safe for you." It, now she, offered her hand to him, and he took it. She stood up, holding his hand like other mothers did with their kids. She looked at him. "I'm Eileen. A hoonter, as you can tell." The boy nodded. "Now let's get you to safety, little one."

He was lead through the streets by the hunter. He trusted her fully. She hadn't beat him, and that meant that she could be trusted in his mind. As they made their way through, she had to fight a few beasts, and when they got to the Chapel, he was brought inside. She then said goodbye and left. The boy smiled. He had a friend!

Author's Note

This is just a character I wanted to make. I like making innocent yet tragic characters.

Next chapter, we go back to Hunter, as he meets Ellie for the first time.

Ellie meeting Hunter, the hunter

Hunter was on a chariot headed to Canterlot. Apparently a weird pony thing knew his name and wanted to see him really badly. He re-read the letter.

Dear Hunter,

We have arrested an odd-looking pony-like creature which refers to itself as 'Ellie' and knows your name, claiming to be the 'Great One' that made the deal that brought you here. A chariot is being sent to pick you up.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

He was going to finally meet Ellie. And in a prison, no less. Eh, whatever. No doubt she could probably make them explode with a thought and walk out. She's probably just going with it. One of the two guards pulling the chariot looked back at him. "I was told why I'm here right now. Do you know her?"

Hunter nodded. "Yeah, she's the reason I'm here."

"Are you an illegal?"

"Nah. She's a literal god of the eldritch variety."

"Ah, I see. Believe me, that's not the craziest shit I've heard."

"I don't doubt it. Uhh, how long will this shit take?"

"About another minute, look ahead."

He did so, and saw the castle growing ever closer. After a minute, they landed and Hunter got out, patting the guard on the head a few times. "Thanks. Now go feed your family or some shit." They left with a laugh and Hunter began to walk into the castle. He would've kept going, had he not been stopped by some asshole.

"What are you doing here?!" The pony yelled at him.

"Do I know your dumb ass?"

"Such crude language! And I hope not! Your....rags are not fit to be worn in this magnificent castle!!"

"Ah, so you're THAT type of asshole."

"Augh!! You're lucky I don't have you arrested, you barbarian!!"

"Excuse the shit out of me, I was invited here by Princess motherfucking Celestia, dipshit. Why else would I be here?"

"There's no way she would ever invite somebody as low as you to this castle to talk with HER!"

"Well, that's odd then..."

"Hmmm?"

"If she didn't invite me, then why do I have a letter directly from her?" Hunter held up the letter. His face spread into a shit-eating grin as he tapped the seal. The pony's eyes widened and a look of horror dawned on his face. Hunter put the letter away and walked past him with a relaxed gait. "See ya, jackass." He sped up a little farther down the hall, asking guards where to go. He passed through the halls, admiring the architecture. Not the coolest shit he's seen, but it still looked great. After an ungodly amount of time, he reached the dungeons. Presenting the letter to the guard, he was let in. In the distance, he saw Celestia staring into a cell. "Hey Celestia." She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say a word, someone he couldn't see exclaimed excitedly.

"Hunter!!!"

Hunter called out to the voice. "Ellie?" He jogged over to the cell to see a pony-like creature there. It had no eyes or ears, just a wide mouth grinning at him and large, fluffy ears. It had a long, straight mane that flowed down her head and over her small shoulders, going down to her knees. She had ten legs, all essentially the same, all ending in a rounded point. Her tail was very long, and near the end, her tail also had long straight hair, hanging down to the same length of her mane. She was sitting like a pony would, her tail wagging excitedly. Hunter turned to Celestia. "Let her out, she's telling the truth." Celestia nodded and told the guards to do so. They opened the cell and Ellie shot out, impacting Hunter in the chest and bouncing off lightly, landing on the floor with an 'oof'. Hunter stumbled backwards a few steps, then walked up to her and, using hands, picked her up, holding her out at arm's length. "Nice to finally see you."

"Same with you! How are you doing in this reality?"

"Great, actually. I broke a few ribs fighting an 'android', whatever that is. Your pendant helped a lot! Oh, and I got this cool gun thing." She flinched, but continued smiling, and looked at the shiny steel gauntlet he had with some parts on it she couldn't identify. Celestia felt a presence in her mind. 'You're lucky the thing that hurt my Hunter is dead.' She shook her head to clear it.

"Cool! Can you put me down?" Hunter did so, and she walked up to him, and nuzzled his leg. Hunter crouched down to talk to her.

"When can I complete my end of the deal?"

Ellie blushed and began to stammer. "I-in a few days....I-I...I uhh...have to touch u-up on m-m-m-my form." She turned to Celestia. "I cannot leave Canterlot. May I stay here for a few days?"

Celestia thought for a moment, then nodded. "I'll get you two a room."

Ellie giggled. "Only I'll be staying here."

Celestia looked at Hunter, who shrugged. "That works. I suppose you're going to leave, Hunter?"

"Yeah, Creampie or whatever her fuckin' name was invited me to a party." One of the guards choked on nothing and Celestia flinched hard.

"Her name is 'Pinkie Pie', Hunter."

"Oh, shit, it is, isn't it. Damn, that changes my expectations of her 'party'." A few guards began laughing uncontrollably, and Celestia was embarrassed beyond reason. Ellie was giggling a lot.

Hunter was confused. "Christ, you guys act as if those kinds of parties are rare." A few seconds passed as he thought about it. "Oh shit, they are? Well then, that's another difference between our realities. Did you know that Yharnam has a bunch of brothels? About ten, if I'm recalling it correctly. Now, I never went to one, but I knew people that did." A few seconds passed. "I'll.....just go. Bye."

The Avatars of Coptus Part2

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay!

The AoC side-story will be written like the rest of the fic from now on.

The Avatars of Coptus Part2

The Hellicoptus Legion had their weapons ready, and their armor on. The cold air was biting their full plate, but they held strong. "I like this place. What about you, Steaf dearest?" A feminine voice with a slight echo to it called out. The speaker was Moony. She was wearing silver full plate armor, with silk clothes underneath. Nothing was protruding, the armor set hugging her thin body. She had long hair that reached her hips, which was tied into a braid. Her helmet surrounded her face, a visor covering it completely. She had two beautiful scythes on her back, runes carved into the narrow blade of the silver weapons. Down the middle of her back sat a greatsword. It shined with the cosmos. She looked into the distance.

"It's boring as shit, Moony." A rough masculine voice responded. He was wearing armor as well, but he didn't care for sleekness, him having a large brown leather coat with a larger fur mantle on it. The armor underneath consisted of a chestplate, forearms and guantlets, with greaves on his legs. His entire set was dull and scratched. A flail was secured to his hip, a chipped and scorched war hammer on his back. His boots were huge and rusted with blood. He had a large knife as well. "But we're here to defend it, so it doesn't matter, because in the end..." He drew the knife in a quick motion, pointing it at the horizon, checking out the polished, engraved silver as it glinted in the moonlight. "...my boots are gonna be slicked."

Moony wrapped her hand around his, pressing herself to him, an arm on his far shoulder. "I see that you like your gift." She said, smiling.

He smirked. "I was born with a bigger blade." He laughed at his own joke, his joy loud and harsh. Moony was giggling.

"Pardon me, but by chance have you two chaps seen the Chainbreaker Legion's armory?" They broke apart and looked at the source of the voice. A mortal man in a mechanical suit twice his size. He was holding a giant sword, with a guard and everything. His suit had a top hat on it and a monocle.

"Who are you to interrupt us, mortal?" Moony stopped him and crouched down.

"What's your name, little one?"

He bowed. "I am Sir Vincent of the Chainbreaker Legion, M'lady." Moony noticed the oddness of the sword's design. The blade was broad and ~~EXTRA THICC~~ very thick, a line running down the middle, and the guard curling down, but not meeting the pommel.

"Sir Vincent, the armory you're looking for is in the castle basement." He nods.

"My apologies, Great Chaps. I must go now. I will most likely see you once the scrap begins." He leaves, and Moony could hear the gears in the suit shifting.

"What was I saying? I was born with a bigger blade. And I'm gonna murder you once this is over." Moony shifted uncomfortably.

"Literally, or as in an innuendo?" Steaf looked to see Hugo sitting on the roof. He was wearing full leather armor with a torn cape. He had a bow, a longsword, and a dagger. He had a simple cap with a bandanna covering his face. He points to the horizon, the lens in his goggles shifting. "I've spot the enemy on the horizon. ETA 30 minutes. Should I try to slow them down, maybe thin out their numbers?" Steaf nodded. "Understood," He said, taking out his long recurve composite bow. "I'll give everyone the signal." Hugo jumps, soaring up and forward. Midair, he forms an unstable lightning bolt and notches it. "Mark." He says, firing it over the city. It explodes. The signal. All the fires in the city are ignited at once. Hugo lands on the ground, and begins firing hydro arrows into the enemy forces of fire monsters. They speed up to running, which was expected.

The enemy army drew close. Hugo had returned by now, and was currently scanning through the army. When they got close, they suddenly stopped. A giant blast of fire erupted from the ground, and when it dissipated, a single figure was standing there, glowing like the sun, through not as bright. It was impossible to make out any detail. A loud, echoing voice came from the figure. "Where is the Moon Presence?!" It shouted. Moony flinched, and Steaf put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "Where are you?!"

Moony gently took Steaf's hand off of herself and took a few steps forward. "I am here!"

The figure looked at her, tilting it's head. A few seconds passed before it began laughing. "I see that you've shielded yourself from....yourself, with even a visor to hide your face!" Moony tried to run at him, but was stopped by Steaf, who put a hand on her chest. "And you call yourself a Great One??!!" He laughed even louder.

"ENOUGH!" He stopped immediately, and looked to see Steaf glaring at him. "Why are you here?"

He clasped his hands together and pointed at Moony. "I'm here for my Moon Presence." He started shouting, obviously trying to be heard by the people within the city itself. "CITIZENS OF GOTHRIC!!! I AM WILL SPARE YOUR CITY IF THE MOON PRESENCE....COMES WITH ME!!!" Moony took a step back, terror bleeding off her.

It was incredibly tense. Then, the King of Gothric, King Gothric (Every king of Gothric is named that.) stepped up to the edge of the city, just in front of Moony. He came up to her knees. (She is tall.) "YOU!!! RADIANCE!!! YOU!!! YOU HAVE GONE ACROSS THE WORLD, DESTROYING CITIES, MURDERING, SLAUGHTERING, AND ALIGHTING MILLIONS, AND YOU THINK THAT WE'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP!!!???" He paused for a second to laugh loudly, throwing his head back. "WELL...IT SEEMS THEN..." He drew his sword, pointing it at him. "THAT YOU TRADED YOUR BRAINS FOR BRAWN!!! HOORAH!" Every soldier in the city repeated it at once. They drew their weapons, notched their arrows, and clanked their shields. "SO RADIANCE!!!??? ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT, OR ARE WE GOING TO FIGHT???!!!"

The figure, Radiance, was silent. He threw his hands out to the sides, and two rays of sunlight formed. He spun them in a few circles, then slammed them on the ground. The army charged.

"WELL, SOLDIERS AND CITIZENS OF GOTHRIC, WE HAVE OUR ANSWER!!! CHARGE!!!!"

And so the battle for Gothric began.

Cupcakes for Hunter the hunter

When Hunter got back, Twilight and some pink pony, probably Pinkie Pie, perhaps per pony pseudonym pertaining to pink being near impossible to come across. He snapped his fingers at her, then jerked his head towards the pink pony. "Yo, Twilight! Wassup?! And who's this?"

Twilight waved back, then wrapped it around the pony's withers (Horse shoulders). "This is pinkie Pie, another of my best friends!"

Hunter nodded his head. 'Wonder how she expresses her psycho bitchiness?' Hunter asked himself. "Well then, hello Pinkie Pie! I am Hunter, a hunter of beasts."

"OOOooohhh!!" Her eyes were incredibly wide. "THIS GIVES ME AN IDEA!!!" She zooms away, and before Hunter can say more then 'Goodbye' she is back with a tray of cupcakes. "Try one!" Hunter shrugs and picks one out. He pulls down his bandanna, revealing a goatee. He takes a bite, and begins to chew. He recognizes a particular smell and taste.

Flesh.

Cooked flesh.

He doesn't show any surprise, because he ain't surprised. It had meat, horse meat to be specific. She was baking ponies into her cupcake. But food was food, and it wasn't raw, so it wasn't dangerous. 'Could she be getting it from the ponies in this town? Eh, probably.' He swallowed it, and gave her a thumbs up, devouring the rest. "That cupcake was pretty sweet...literally. But it had a strange aftertaste." Pinkie flinched, and her smile faded slightly. Hunter pretended to not notice. "But whatever, I've lived around a shithole all my live, my tastebuds are probably down the shitter." Pinkie returned to her former state and zoomed away. "Hey Twilight?"

"Yes?"

"How is Rainbow Dash doing?"

Twilight looked confused. "Why do you want to know?" She gasped. "Have you two become friends!?"

Hunter shrugged. "I don't know if we're friends, but I saw her crash on my way back." Twilight tapped her chin in thought.

"She was...stunned. As if she saw something impossible. Do you have any idea what that could've been?"

Hunter made a quick guilty glance at his pendant. "Nah. She's quite the bragger, so I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't tell anybody." Twilight nodded sadly. "But I'm sure she's fine!"

"Actually, she is!" Speak of the devil, Rainbow Dash landed.

"Hey Twilighhht...." She started off excited, but then she noticed Hunter, and she sunk a bit. She could feel his gaze boring into her soul, and she felt as if he could snap all of her bones with two fingers...wait, why was she wet? Her nethers were soaking. She fought down the blush and stood up normally.

"Hey Rainbow Dash! Are you feeling okay?" Hunter moved out of the way so they could talk to each other.

"Yeah, I'm fine Twilight! No worries!"

Twilight smiled widely, then noticed the time (The sun) and gasped, running off with a 'Gottagobye!'. This left Hunter alone with Rainbow Dash. After checking to see if anybody was nearby, Hunter began to speak. "Hey, don't worry, I haven't told Twilight, and I won't tell anybody. Other then that, could you help me with something?"

"Thanks. What do you need?"

"I think Pinkie's a crazy psycho bitch. I tasted meat her cupcakes."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "I never tasted it."

"How often do you taste meat?"

Rainbow brought a hoof up, but paused, and dropped it. "Never....but now that I think about it, her cupcakes do have a strange appetite....but whatever. I told Pinkie I'd visit her today at Sugarcube Corner!"

Hunter's tone turned serious. "How do think she could possibly get meat?"

Rainbow froze. "Animals?"

"Hopefully. You could almost taste the guts of the shredded pegasi in the Factory due to the density of the fumes. Do you recognize that taste from another place?"

"Oh my Celestia....she's killing ponies....could I be next?" Her voice was whisper, and her ears were folder.

"Maybe....go anyways. I'll watch from a distance. I learned a spell that can make me look like an object. You go in, and if you're captured-"

"How do you know she won't just kill me?"

"How retarded would she have to be to kill somebody on wooden floors in broad daylight, in a public location?" Rainbow tried to retort, but realized that he was probably right. "I don't blame you for thinking that though, you're in a literal life-or-death situation. Just...act normal. That is going to be difficult, but just try."

Rainbow was shaking slightly, a few tears running down her face. Hunter walked up to her, and gave her a hug. She simply leaned into the hug, and began openly sobbing. After a few minutes, she pulled back, and Hunter wiped her eyes with his sleeve. "Thanks." She said softly.

"Your welcome. Just say to her that you read a reallly sad story." Rainbow nodded. Hunter was determined. "Alright, go. I WILL be watching. You will not die today, Rainbow Dash." She flew off. Hunter facepalmed. He forgot to ask her where 'Sugarcube Corner' WAS.

After asking for directions, and then going there, Hunter was disguised as a flower, looking through the back window. Currently they were talking, and Rainbow was doing a good job. Then Pinkie gave her a cupcake. Rainbow didn't react, but her wings twitched. She took a bite, then after a few more words, collapsed onto the floor, passed out. Hunter watched closely. Pinkie grinned evilly, and picked her up, going out the back. She looked around for a few seconds, to see if anybody was watching, then flipped open a tiny door (It had a handle) in the store's wall. She pressed it, and a large hole with stairs opened up in the store wall. It was in front of him, so he could see a door down there. She walked in there, and just before the small door, pushed another button, which closed it. Hunter stayed in his disguise, and waited. He was sure she was going to secure her then leave for a bit to waste time. The leaving to waste time thing made sense for what he's heard of her. The large door opened, and pinkie walked out. She pressed the hidden button to close it, and left. After she was away, Hunter dispelled the disguise, and pressed the button, running down and pressing the other button to close it. He opened the door and shut it quickly but quietly. He saw Rainbow chained to a weird bondage table, her wings stretched out behind her with hooks. Hunter disguised as one of the confetti pieces (tf do you call them?) with his sword drawn and placed himself to the side. After a few minutes, Pinkie came down, wearing a weird ass dress-thing. She began to pull a trolley with surgical tools on it towards the table. Rainbow woke up.

After a while, and after a short talk, the room was revealed to be a murder shack. A giant banner made out of pony hide (It looked horrendous with the horrific colour placements. Also, bones, skulls, and other murdery shit was scattered around the room. Some skull named 'Gilda' was introduced, Rainbow apparently knowing the creature it used to belong to, Pinkie grabbed a scalpel and got to work, slicing her cutie marks off. TONS of screaming and crying, terror as well. Pinkie then walked over to a tool chest. Too far away. (He doesn't attack her because she's a speedy lil' bitch.) She pulled out a bonesaw and cracked a shitty pun. After more terror and laughing, Pinkie began to saw at her wings. After another joke, she turned to the side. Hunter decided that he needed to act, and dispelled the disguise. "YEET!!" Pinkie spun around immediately, a look of absolute surprise on her face. She was booped on the nose by his sword, which then drove through her skull, killing her instantly. Hunter ripped his sword out of her corpse and ran in front of Rainbow, who had pissed herself, and despite tears flowing down her face, was smiling weakly. Hunter quickly ran to a furnace which was hot, and grabbed the steel rod in it, was clearly to cauterize. He ran to RD and cauterized her wounds, the mare screaming weakly. He freed her easily with the keys on Pinkie's corpse, caved her skull in with his hammer, and after all of that, picked up Rainbow. "H....Hunter?"

He smiled at her. "I held my promise you're alive. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you earlier, she would've been too fast to take on." Rainbow nodded weakly.

"I forgive you.....you saved many future lives anyways."

Hunter scoffed as he went up the stairs, and through the open stairway. "I'm gonna yell for help, alright?" Hunter walked out onto the street. "MY FRIEND IS HEAVILY INJURED!!!!! WE NEED HELP NOW!!!!!" After just ten seconds, the place was swarmed with ponies. Everybody was asking questions before an emergency squad of paramedics pushed through the crowd. They saw the damage.

"Tell us what happened." One of the medics said to Hunter.

"You would never believe me if I told you."

"Tell me, I heard some really crazy stuff before."

"Pinkie Pie did this."

"....what?"

"I can show you her murder basement."

The medics looked at each other, then he moved Rainbow to one of the other medics. "Show me then." Hunter brought him, along with a few ponies who wanted to see as well, to the basement. They all threw up, mostly due to the smell and use of hide. Hunter showed them her corpse.

The guards were there in less then 5 minutes.

The place was locked down. Hunter was given the whole 'you've done a great thing' speech and told by the paramedics that his shitty cauterizing job saved her life, as she has lost a lot of blood, and that she would live, but never be able to fly again. She would be in the hospital for months, she could be visited.

Hunter looked at the sky. He was pissed off, and that was directed at the Great Ones.

Author's Note

How was it? My longest chapter yet!

Everybody probably knows what happens in Cupcakes, so I don't need to repeat it here.

A Gift for Hunter, the hunter

Hunter was sitting on the edge of his bed, polishing his sword. Ellie didn't do it properly, and actually waxed it. Probably because she wasn't expecting it to be used in any capacity. But truthfully, he was thinking. A pony died in the presence. (Robots don't count, fuck you.) And by his blade. Now, he knew that the 'nobody dies from injury' thing was bullshit, but whatever, this place is still paradise. Eh, whatever, the Great Ones fucked up, and now he had to deal with their bullshit. Lazy bastards. Twilight ran in, colliding with his chest, and after burying her face it his coat, began to bawl her eyes out. Hunter reacted quickly, hugging her back. "Why did she have to die?" She choked out between sobs. "Why?"

Hunter shushed her softly, petting her mane. "I'm sorry. It probably means jack shit to you, but Pinkie was a murderer. She had to go. It sounds horrible, vile, and repulsive, but she forfeited life as soon as she turned a blade onto somebody for reasons other then for self-defense." He looked at his hands. "I should know."

Twilight shook her head. "Don't say that about yourself, you're not a monster."

"But I am, Twilight. This will sound edgy as shit, but I'm not your monster. But if there's anything positive to come out of this, it's that many lives have been saved today."

Twilight looked at him, a frown on her face. "She didn't need to die..." She cast her head down.

Hunter held the sides of her head and made her look at him. "Twilight. There was no other way. I'm sorry to tell you this, but some people can't be saved from themselves. Some people just have to die for the betterment of the world."

Twilight sniffled. "I guess. I still miss her though, and I don't know why."

"It's okay. You miss the energetic pile of pink sugar, not the psychotic cannibal. Now, why don't we go for a walk? Clear our minds and perhaps make you feel better about this crazy shit?" Twilight nodded. They got up and walked out of the door.

They were eating at the Kenclucky's Kings of Krisp. Hunter was eating a chicken sandwich, while Twilight had hay fries. "This chicken tastes fucking amazing!"

A griffon chef poked her head out of the kitchen. She was wearing a hairnet. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome."

She was about to go back to whatever she was doing before she recognized him. "Wait, you're the guy who save the town!"

"Yes, I am. I'm not proud of the murdering part of the saving. Both me and Twilight here don't want to talk about it."

"Sorry."

"You didn't know, it's fine. Have a nice day chef." They finished and left after paying the bill. Twilight was talking about how the Elements of Harmony were now useless, as Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter, was dead. "Do you know what the prerequisites for wielding them are?"

Twilight nodded. "A deep connection to what your element represents, and a deep connection to the other wielders."

Hunter thought for a moment. "Hmm....why not train new wielders?"

"What?"

"Not 'train' in the literal sense of the word, but nudge a group of people to interact with each other until they meet the second prerequisite? What you've said makes the Elements choose their wielders and shape them even if they don't know it."

Twilight was stunned. "How did you get to that idea? It's AMAZING!!!"

Hunter thought about it. "I...I don't know. What the fuck does this pendant even do?"

Twilight shrugged. "Whatever it does, it's extremely useful! You should write to Celestia about that idea!"

"Why not you?"

"You...said the idea first!"

"Alright." Hunter felt odd. Nauseous. His vision was strange, as if it was low quality. He felt something under his nose. Wiping it off, it was blood. Black blood. He could smell the rot of his own flesh. Twilight was trying to talk to him, but she was muffled. He heard a different voice clearly.

"You're dying on a lie." It said. He blinked.

He had no idea where he was. Twilight and the paramedic from earlier were standing over him. He threw up black, thick fluid. Felt like regurgitating cheap slime, and the aftertaste...he couldn't describe. "Ah, fuck." He said weakly. "How bad was the seizure?" They answered after a few seconds.

"We were scared for your life! We're taking you to the hospital." The paramedic told him.

"Ugh, the black shit is new."

"New?"

"This seizure was vaguer then usual."

"Usual?!" Twilight yelled, surprised. "These happen often?!"

"Yes. My mind can't handle the Insight. Eldritch knowledge, for those who don't know. i have too much of it, and so I have a seizure roughly every month. They are always preceded by visions and a voice telling me something important. However, what it tells me is usually very direct. It wasn't."

"What did it say?"

"It said 'You're dying on a lie'. Whatever that means, I need to find out. And FAST."

"Or?"

Hunter facepalmed. "Or I'm gonna fucking die, like it said." Hunter stood up with the help of them both. "What's your name, by the way?"

"I'm Para Doc." He held out his hoof, and Hunter shook it. "You sure you're gonna be fine?"

"From this seizure, yes. But it won't stay that way for long. I've been here for a day, and already I'm dying."

Hunter was sleeping when he was woken up. "Hunter. Don't be alarmed, it's me, Hugo." Hunter's eyes shot open and he saw a person wearing heavily damaged leather armor and missing an arm. "I have only one minute here, so I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Eileen the Crow died an hour ago. She died permanently, due to having cut her Hunter's contract. She died for the final time, but wanted to give you this, and a note." Hunter was devastated. He reached out for the two items with shaky hands. The Blade of Mercy and a scroll. Hugo left, simply disappearing. Tears streaming down his face, he read the note.

Dear Hunter,

I hope that your hunt has gone well. Yharnam does not deserve you, yet here you are. I do not have much to say. I just wish that you not fall into the pit named depression and give into the night. You are stronger then the night. Know that I am very proud of you, and that I have moved on to a better place. I hope you can be happy for me, as I am for you. I am giving you my weapon, as I have no use for it where I'm headed. I hope the Great Ones show you mercy as well. Goodbye my son, for the final time.

Sincerely, Eileen the Crow

Hunter began to cry. He hasn't done that in a while, but he couldn't help it. He bawled his eyes out. Twilight ran in to see what was wrong, and after reading the letter, hugged him. She comforted him, and reassured him that she was where she wanted to be, and would be happier...

Fighting Hunter, the hunter

Hunter was still crying, this time into Celestia's mane. Why? Because she knew what it was to lose someone so dear to you as to be family. Sure, she came back, but that doesn't make 1000 years any fucking easier. "It's alright...." Celestia was saying things like that. Luna was there too, and was serving as the equivalent of an emotional support animal, nuzzling his side and other things. They broke away once Hunter felt like it nearly an hour later. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, thanks Celestia. You too Luna." Luna was smaller then even a regular pony, a soft blue, while her mane was baby blue. She was adorable, and was being rewarded with ear scratches. She purred like a cat, leaning into his touch. He wasn't wearing his coat, hat, or bandanna, leaving him with a black long-sleeve shirt with a double helix pattern. He still had his Kirkhammer, and the Blade of Mercy was secured on his other hip safely. Ellie had left soon after he met her, so she wasn't here. Out of nowhere, a guard rushed into the room.

"Princess Celesita! An unknown pony has broke into the castle and is trying to kill us all!"

Celesita and Luna shot up. "What?!" Celestia exclaimed.

"Come on! We have to get you to safety immediately!"

Hunter ran past the door. "Get to safety! I'm going to try to fight it!" Before he could answer, he was gone. He ran down the hallway towards the fighting, and then he saw the figure. It was wearing a black fedora and a black trenchcoat. It had white fur. It was reared up over a guard. "Hey! Asshole!"

It looked towards him, and dropped, giving the guard time to roll out of the way. "Designation Hunter, you must die." It responded immediately.

"Ah, the robot I fucked up!" The robot began to run toward him. As per usual, Hunter waited. When the robot was close enough, Hunter jumped, spun, unsheathed his sword, transformed it, then swung, slamming the giant stone block into the robot's metal face. The robot's momentum was reversed, and it flew back, it's face destroyed. The force of the blow nearly dislocated Hunter's arms. The robot raised a hoof. A ball of rainbow-coloured magic formed on it. It slammed the ball into it's face, repairing it. "Well then, that's a problem." The robot slammed into him and sent him flying. Hunter rolled along the floor, sliding to a halt. He rolled to the side and barely dodged the robot flying past him and impaling himself on a guard's spear.

Hunter stood up and stumbled into the wall. He wasn't able to breathe, but managed to suck in a breath and began coughing. He looked over to see the robot spasming on the steel spear. Suddenly, it changed. It shifted, the robot becoming bipedal. It's forehooves turned into hands, and it's hind hooves turned into rudimentary feet. It gripped the spear and...

broke it in half. Pulling itself off the rest, it reached behind it's back and pulled out a short stick that resembled a sword's hilt with a guard. It flicked a switch and a blade erupted out of nowhere with a brilliant flash of light. It was a broadsword. It lightly brought it across the floor, slicing through the floor, leaving behind scorch marks and molten stone. Hunter took a step back, another, then turned heel and began to run. He screamed as he was impaled. Looking down, he saw the blade sticking through his chest. The robot pulled up and sliced him in half, killing him instantly. His corpse fell to the ground, the robot plucking the Blade of Mercy from him as he fell. The pendant was gone.

The robot stood back up and examined the blade. "This would be described as 'Masterwork'." It went to put it's sword away but was smashed in the same arm, making it drop the weapon. Before he could turn around, he heard it activate, at was impaled through the chest. As his power core failed, so did the sword.

Hunter pulled up and finished cutting the robot in half. "Backstab, BITCH!! Woohoo!!" He jumped for joy. Looking at the pendant, one of it's eight "rays" was gone. "So nine lives? Well, apparently I'm a cat. Well, Meow motherfucker!"

He breathed out heavily and took the sword back, strapping it back to his waist. One of the guards saw the robot's corpse and called out that it was safe. The Princesses rushed him, Celestia colliding with him and locking him into a hug. She did all the stuff, like depressingly told him how she heard him scream. After about ten minutes, she pulled back, looked at his face, and gasped. "You have a black line going down your face!" Hunter confusedly felt his face and could feel ash. But he could feel the ash being touched.

"Yeah, I got cut in half by some crazy-ass heat sword. I died, but my pendant saved me. I think I have seven more lives." Celestia looked at his pendant and saw the damage.

"At least you're fine, and that's what matters. Luna was quite distraught for some reason. Usually she's quite harsh, but after an experience with somebody she calls 'Helicopter Man', she's changed for the better!" Celestia beamed at the end of her explanation.

Hunter cringed and nodded nonchalantly. "Oh, cool. I know nothing about this 'Helicopter Man', so perhaps it's something she thought of?"

Celestia shrugged her best. "Perhaps. I'll make sure it isn't another Tantabus situation."

Before Hunter could ask what that was, an idea popped into his head, and he grinned like an asshole. "Hey, can you teleport me to the weather factory? I need to have a talk with them?"

"Yes, I can do so. Why?"

"Because that robot came from there. Also, tell nobody of this, especially not Rainbow Dash. She runs that place." Celestia nodded, and after he put on the robot's clothes, was teleported to the rainbow factory.

Intermission: Meanwhile in Yharnam Part2

The boy was a teenager now, and was currently talking with Eileen on a roof. The boy had his legs hanging off the ledge, and they were eating sandwiches. "Hey mom!" The boy said to Eileen. She left a stab at those words. Those words always bothered her. "I know what I want to do when I grow up!"

"What is it, Hoonter?" She asked.

He beamed at her. "I want to be a hunter, like you!"

She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak. But nothing came out. He looked so happy, she just....couldn't ruin it. She breathed deeply and stood up. "I'm glad that you know what you want, Hoonter. Let us go back. Ludwig said he'd train you some more today." The boy stood up and grabbed his knife. Eileen jumped off the roof, stabbing into the wall to slow her descent. The boy did the same, but landed into a stumble. After getting back up, they began to walk together back to the chapel. Once they got inside, they could hear Ludwig's boasting.

"-Oh, you're the better one? Who has the giant sword here? Yes, me! Now shoo, my boy is here!" The boy heard grumbling, then the chapel side door open and close as whomever left. The boy waved at Ludwig once he was in view. The man sauntered over, a smile on his face. "Ah, my boy! How goes my little Hunter?" He ruffled the boy's hair, before noticing that Eileen, did in fact, exist. "Ah, and Eileen!" He bowed. "What brings you here? Is it to see moi?"

"Hello Ludwig. I'm here because you said you'd train Hoonter." Eileen said goodbye to the boy before leaving.

"Women. So," He clasped his hands together and bent down. "Are you ready to choose a trick weapon?" The boy nodded and ran along, Ludwig keeping up with him easily. After a while, they made it to the Hunter's workshop. There, a man in a wheelchair was working on a doll.

"Blast it!" The man said as his shaky old hands couldn't hold something steady enough to keep it together. Ludwig went up to him.

"Hey Gherman, how's the project going?"

"Project?"

"Yes, the project 'We're not allowed to tell Maria about'? That one. How's it going?"

Gherman held his face with his hands. "I cannot hold it steady!" The boy went up behind him and tugged on his jacket. Gherman shifted, then turned around. "Ah, hello small one. What do you need?"

The boy pointed at the doll. "Why don't you just use clamps to hold it steady? Didn't you do that for the weapons?" A moment passed. Then Gherman facepalmed.

"Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I....small one, can you bring them over here?" Gherman pointed at them. After he did so, Gherman said thanks and went back to his work. The boy liked helping nice people. He went with Ludwig into a room where a simple model of every weapon was located.

"Here, take your time." The boy thanked Ludwig.

After a while, the boy came back with a sword and hammerhead. "I want this one dad!"

Ludwig didn't mind the 'dad' thing, unlike Eileen. He had a great 'son'! What's the shame in that? "Great choice, my boy! The Kirkhammer, made by the healing church!"

Gherman snapped at Ludwig. "I made it!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes. And gestured and Gherman. "Gherman made it, and the Healing Church just uses it. Whatever, that's boring. Now, when a hunter touches a weapon, they immediately know how to use it. We...don't know how that works, but it probably has something to do with the Great Ones. Anyways, we have to train you to wield it! Luckily, the runes on it make it feel lighter to the wielder. So even though it's 270 pounds of fu-screw you, it feels like 50 pounds."

The boy nodded excitedly. "So what do I need?"

"You need strength and dexterity! Far more for strength, due to the giant stone block. The dexterity is for the sword! Now, usually you'd need a badge, but I'll pull a few strings for this. Consider it your.....birthday present!" Just then, Ludwig heard a familiar tolling. "Oh, today's a night of the Hunt, right. My boy, what do you do on a night of the Hunt?"

The boy grinned. "I stay inside the Oedon Chapel until morning!" Ludwig clapped a few times.

"Excellent, my boy! Now, let's get you there! Maybe that friend of yours will read another of those stories you love so much! What was it called?"

"Dark Souls! We're at the fight against Gravelord Nito!" Ludwig nodded, and brought him back. People were locking their doors, but took a couple seconds to say goodhunt to Ludwig. They arrived at the chapel, and the boy saw his friend.

"Ah, Chapel Beggar. You're on time! Here, my boy's been wanting to read again for a while."

The boy sat down next to his friend, who cracked open the book and began to do his favorite thing....

Enjoying a friend's company.

Author's Note

I changed a bit of lore from the normal game, obviously.

The Avatars of Coptus Part1

In the far north, in the region Cada (pronounced Caid-uh), there exists the kingdom of Gothric, the blood of Great Ones was found. However, as Gothric was always at least -45 degrees Celthric, the blood was instead used as fuel for the fires that kept everybody from freezing to death. However, now, creatures were spawning from the flames, and they needed to eradicate them, as they stole the heat from the fires, which would cause Gothric to freeze, killing everybody.

And so, the Frostbitten Legion was made. However, they knew they were only delaying the inevitable. Then, he stepped up.

Coptus. The first Hellicoptor. He became legendary fast, his weapon....his trick weapon, never seen. To the regular onlooker, it appears as a large dagger....but it isn't. It is functionally a sword, and when the the weapon is transformed with a long staff, it can be spun overhead. He would stab forward into an enemy, transform it, then rip it out sideways with the spin, keeping the enemy staggered until it died. Eventually, he died in a battle against....Great Ones. But not us, not the ones in our realm. The GO's whom blood they were using. In fact, we helped them by giving them the spell 'Hellicoptus. Naturally, it was slanged into 'Helicopter'. They fought the beasts, but it was all for naught.

The Great Ones were angry. So, to prevent their deaths, we joined forces. Hugo, (me) Sarah, Steaf, Oedon, and Moony. You call her 'The Moon Presence' now, but that story is for another time....