Chapters “I'm sorry, but.... Look I like you as a friend but that's all.”
That was what she said.
Simple words really, things he had been expecting for a while now.
But words hurt, and these struck his poor heart of glass and shattered it utterly.
He had stuck by her through everything, listened to her troubles, saved her life from countless foes, nearly all of them brought about by the one she chose. Her life was in danger every moment she stayed near him.
“The wedding is in two weeks... do you think you can make it?”
Come to the wedding of his love and his most hated enemy? Sure, twist the knife deeper.
“Sorry... I don't think I'd make it on time....”
A lame excuse, but given what usually happened to him when he was distracted , it was one she accepted readily.
The others wouldn't accept this, he knew them. He'd fought with and against them so many times, their motivations insane yet, they often mirrored his own. They fought for what they believed was love.
He thought the same and from any one else he would have fought as well, but to hear her speak the words, to listen to her explain her plans and what she was going to do.... after what they had all been though.
She had led him on at times, her joy at seeing him when he arrived with a gift, the hugs she gave, the rare kiss. He had gotten the nerve to ask her out once, and the man she was going to marry ruined it. There was always a hope for another try, but in the later hours she had spoken her true mind, claiming to feel sorry for any one who dated him.
That was when the first real cracks appeared in his heart, but he pushed it back ignored the pain continued to win her.
Now this.
“Congratulations on the wedding.....I'll see you later......”
“Oh well, take care.”
He turned and shouldered his bag and started walking. He always found his way back to that house, no matter how long he was gone. He thought his love was what kept bringing him back, but clearly it was a twisted fate, something that only wanted to torment him.
Either that or fate was just trying to show him he had no chance.
He set off walking, not caring where he ended up this time.
He moved like a zombie, one foot in front of the other, never looking to either side simply at the ground as he walked.
He passed city's, gawked at by passerby, screamed at by motorists, he was hit by a bus once, but he was pretty sure every one on board was okay before he ripped out of the front and kept walking.
He had been hit with worse, thousands of impacts against solid rock and falls from insane heights barely phased him, what was a few tons of steel?
He walked through smaller towns, rural villages, farmland, deserts, he walked a lonely road, the only one that he ever knew.
He had no real friends, only rivals and the occasional partner in the pursuit of his love, though they always had their own motivations. But now that was gone. He hadn't seen his parents in years, his dog in a few less than that, but she had her puppies to care for now. She didn't need to worry about him, and she could take care of herself.
His mind wandered as he walked, focusing on her face, how she had been the first to treat him with any kindness. The first to reach his heart, to let him know what love could really be.
And in the end .
She hadn't picked him, she had picked that bastard, that ass had made his life a living hell. And just when he had found a small bit of heaven, the bastard took it from him.
He was loyal to her. There were other times he could have gone with another, that pig farmer, the skater, heck a lot of people thought he and the okonomiyaki chef were a thing.
That womanizing bastard had dozens of women chasing him, and he still flirted with more and lead them on.
He kept walking.
He walked through deserts, lush forests, what he thought was some sort of jungle, it didn't matter where he went, so long as it was away.
He recalled stopping to eat occasionally, the food tasting like ash in his mouth. He recalled it rained from time to time and that he walked with his umbrella out. He recalled camping sleeping occasionally.
He walked on.
He needed to leave her be. To let her have her life. She made her choice and as much as it hurt, he was going to support that. That meant staying away.
If he went back then the bastard and him would fight, and he would try to kill that womanizing scum. He knew the wedding would fail, the others who wanted him wouldn't let it happen properly. There would be a fight, just like always. It wouldn't solve anything and would just ruin any plans any one might have.
He was done with it.
So he walked.
A swamp, a west Virginian wasteland, Ohio.... man that place was horrid, a frozen landscape.
At some point he realized he was on all fours and still walking.
Not much of a surprise, it was probably raining and he missed it, not the first time. He was used to walking on hooves by this point.
He didn't notice his pack hadn't crushed him like usual.
He trod on, walking through another dark and foreboding forest in the middle of the night, though he thought it had been morning not that long ago.
Nothing new really, he was losing time as he wandered, it happened.
He came to a river, easily hopping across the tree branches over it. Not that he cared he was already wet it seemed.
A chasm was passed the same way, a bit of spent ki and he was over it.
He walked on stepping past some great archway and walking inside it took him a few moments to realize he was walking on some old stone and ratty carpet.
Lifting his head for the first time in a while he took note that he was inside some old ruins. The stone walls had numerous hallways leading off of it, wall scones that were old and rotted and rows of rotted tapestries that hung from bars still held up in the vaulted ceiling. Shattered stained glass windows lay ruined on the floor, the windows not surviving the wear of weather.
At the far end of where he had come in on a raised dais, there were a pair of thrones. A bright golden one and a much darker blue and black one. Above the thrones hung a pair of mostly intact tapestries. Over the golden throne, one depicting a solar theme, and the one on the left over the darker throne depicting a moon and a lunar theme.
Etchings on the walls showed more moon and solar symbols, but they were only carved on the side of the hall that the matching thrones were on.
The wanderer turned his head taking in this strange place. Old rusted armors lay strewn about at the end of the hall, all of it seemingly designed for horses.
With a small sigh he lowered his head, he had expected to get lost but really?
“WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?!”Ryoga Hibiki cried out, the sound echoing off the chambers around him as he screamed to the heavens.
[In another part of the castle ]
“Did you guys hear that?!” Applejack questioned , her ears perked up as she surveyed the halls in the dark castle each one looking like something could spring from the shadows at any moment.
“The book said, 'when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.” Twilight Sparkle recited.
“What in the hay is that supposed to mean?” Applejack demanded looking back.
“I'm not sure , but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen.” Twilight ordered.
“ Alright. She needs tah concentrate. Lets give her some space and check out what that scream was, might be some other pony got dragged in here with Nightmare Moon that needs help.” Applejack offered getting nods and affirmative noises from the other mares.
The five left the purple unicorn heading deeper into the castle of the two sisters.
TDR Presents.
A story about neither puppies , nor stone.
Not all who wander...
A Ranma ½ cross over.
View Online
In which Ryoga thinks he's found Xiǎomǎnīchuan.
Not All Who Wander
Part 2
Applejack and the others galloped through the old castle towards where they heard the scream. The group was rather worried about what make a noise like that so even Rainbow Dash was holding back with the group instead of racing ahead.
The fact Nightmare Moon was likely some where in the old castle lent both haste and caution to their gallop in case this was a trap, but if it was a pony that needed help...
Rushing down the main hall the group arrived in what looked like an old throne room. Applejack took note of the two banners of the sun and the moon as well as the two thrones. While this connected a couple of dots in her mind about what Nightmare Moon had said , it only opened a whole nother can of worms in questions. Still that train of thought went though her mind rather quickly as her focus shifted to the pony in the room.
The black maned stallion sat by a small camp fire that looked to have been recently set up in an area of cleared stone. A brass tea kettle sat on a spit above the fire. heating up.
The brown eyed earth pony stallion seemed to be focused on his hoof more than anything else. His black mane was kept out of his eyes by a tiger striped bandanna of some sort, his fur was a faded orange coloration just a shade paler than the bandanna he wore. A massive camping pack almost as big as he was sat on the ground next to him and a large red umbrella rested atop of it. The same umbrella was depicted open and on it's side on his bare flank. A long sleeve shirt that matched the color of his coat and a pair of odd looking green pants were set out next to him along with what Applejack assumed were some sort of shoes and undergarments.
Applejack blinked as the pony muttered something to himself in a language that Applejack had never heard before, though she noticed Pinkie Pie and Rarity both perk their ears.
“Is that Neighonese ?” Rarity asked.
Ryoga couldn't believe his luck, all of it bad. First, his heart is irreparably shattered, and now this. He knew he was out of it while he walked this time, focused soly on getting as far away from Nerima as he could, but how had he missed this?
“I can't believe I wandered through Jusenkyo again and didn't even notice.” Ryoga muttered to himself.
The forlorn lost boy stared at the kettle as the water heated up. He didn't even really recall where he changed at and as such he had lost a pair of pants and a pair of shoes. At least he kept the rest of his gear and his pack, a far change from how many times he had lost everything with an unexpected change. He supposed there was also the added benefit that at least horses were not eaten across the world as much as pigs were, so something was finally looking up. A sliver of a silver lining on a otherwise dark cloud that covered his life.
“Is that Neighonese ?”
Ryoga blinked and looked up, that sounded like English. Had he wandered into Europe again? He really hoped it was Europe and not America, those 'green card' guys were annoying. He wasn't even sure what they were talking about.
His ears flattened back to his head as he took note of five very colorful horses standing there staring at him. Well three were standing, two were hovering. With the exception of the one in the cowboy hat, crap he was in America, there was no way any of those colors were found in nature. The white one with the purple hair had a horn. The yellow and pink one; and the blue and rainbow haired one, had wings.
He was also pretty sure one of them had spoken as he didn't see any people nearby.
“What the heck are you doing here?” the rainbow maned one demanded.
Ryoga blinked as he stared at them.
Dealing with Ranma and everything that happened to him on a daily basis had skewed Ryoga's perception of what would be considered weird far beyond what any one sane could usual comprehend. Ryoga was part of a collection of people who turned into other things when splashed with cold water; he had fought animal men on a floating island; dealt with mystic nonsense, curses, and whatever Happosai was. With all that, talking horses barely hit a three on his weirdness scale, the colors and flying cranked it to a even four, but only barely. In either case it was barely enough to give him a moments pause. It wouldn't be the first time he learned about a village of Jusenkyo cursed individuals.
“Sorry if I trespassed on some sacred ground or whatever, I'll be out of your way in a few minutes.” Ryoga offered in passable English and went back to waiting for the water to heat up.
Despite that statement he kept an eye on the small group, none of them seemed like they were going to attack, at the very least none of them seemed armed. Well the blue one might attack, she seemed aggressive, but he didn't know how to read horse body language.
“Err, far as ah ken tell you ain't trespassing, but this place ain't exactly safe with Nightmare running around.” the orange mare pointed out. “ Yah should probably get...... Pinkie what tha hay are yah doing?”
Ryoga looked up then to his left where a far too pink face was an inch from his own.
“GAH!!” Ryoga yelped falling over with a crash in the effort to get away from the pink face. The effort knocked the tea kettle off the fire and sent it skittering across the floor with a slosh and a clang.
“Hi I'm Pinkie Pie. I've never seen you before, what's your name?” Pinkie Pie demanded far too cheerily. She reminded Ryoga of Azusa, and that caused him to back away a little further.
“Pinkie reign it in, we don't know what this feller's deal is, he could be working fer Nightmare.” the orange one pointed out.
“Nah, I don't think he works for Black Snooty, I think he's just lost... and sad... this totally calls for a party.”Pinkie stated.” Do you like chocolate cupcakes? Ooh, ooh, maybe I should make some Neighonese treats, I'll need to see if there's a recipe somewhere for Neighonese cupcakes.”
“What?” Ryoga stammered.
“It's Pinkie Pie darling, best you don't question it and let her do her thing.” The white mare sighed and pointed to the others as she named them.” My name is Rarity, this is Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and the mare with no regards for personal space is Pinkie Pie. Whom might you be?”
Ryoga considered as he looked at the spilled teakettle, he didn't have another canteen of water to fill it, he was probably going to be stuck as a horse for a little while. That might cause a few problems later on if they found out he wasn't from this Neighonese place they mentioned, but for now they were at least being friendly. He was also a little surprised and a tad morose about the pink one planning to have a party for him. The last few parties he had been to had been the Satome Christmas party, and a few after battle victory parties when some bigger threat had shown up in Nerima.
“Um hey, are you still in there?” the blue one that he had been told was Rainbow Dash asked, evidently he had been thinking to long for her taste.
“ Oh right, sorry... my name's Hibiki, Ryoga Hibiki.” he managed.
“ Good fang echo?” Pinkie Pie pondered before frowning and grabbing Ryoga by the muzzle, forcing open his mouth to look before Ryoga managed to shove her away.
The pink pony soared through the air at the shove, hitting the wall and bouncing off it before pronking back over to the fire as if she hadn't just been flung across the chamber.
“He's got fangs... I bet he works with black snooty.” Pinkie Pie stage whispered to the others.
“Seriously? Who the hell is black snooty?” Ryoga demanded.
“Nightmare Moon, tha one ah was trying tah warn you about and suggest yah take cover. She did somethin with Princess Celestia and we came out here tah find a way tah beat her....” Applejack began, mostly ignoring the odd manner of speech and chalking it up to translation issues. A loud explosion of magic and a battle cry echoed in the old castle cutting her off.
“Twilight!?” The gathered horses shouted almost in unison before galloping off down the hall back towards where they had come from.
Ryoga watched them run off for a moment. They were trying to rescue a Princess? What part of America was this? Maybe he was in Europe after all, none of them had any guns after all.
In any event it sounded like some sort of crazy nonsense like what happened in Nerima all the time, something he had wanted to get away from. It wasn't any of his business what was going on here. He should pack up and leave and try to keep out of any adventures for a while. It wasn't his Princess and who ever this Twilight was had five others coming to help, they didn't need him sticking his nose into this.
Those thoughts raced through his head as he watched the group rush off.
Before they had managed to make it to the end of the hall however, Ryoga was running after them, his umbrella resting on his back.
Author's Note
Title translates to Spring of Drown Horse, at least according to google.
In which Ryoga punches royalty.
Not All Who Wander
Part 3
Ryoga often cursed his luck. Not as often as his arch enemy Ranma did, but more than any other person did as far as he knew.
Still he had used up a nice collection of curse words in all seven of the languages he knew after he turned a corner and the five mares were not there to be followed.
“......Damn it.” Ryoga concluded his tirade. He looked around the room he had wound up in. It looked like some old ballroom or something. It had a long open hall and a raised dais on one side that had some old collapsed settings and rusted poles and tubes for some long removed equipment.
Many thought Ryoga rather dim in truth. Coupling his lack of a formal education, his constant wanderings and the fact his go to method of dealing with something that bothered him was brute force, had led to a somewhat misinformed view on his intelligence.
Granted how often he was easily tricked by Ranma didn't help either.
Still this was not a entirely true belief. While he was far more focused on things, and quite emotional his life on the road had taught him quite a lot beyond simple survival. Over time he had developed a plethora of skills and talents from the odd jobs he picked up to survive and make money, as well as a ridiculous collection of assorted martial arts, from small schools he had run across and learned from.
As such, with his glance around the old room he realized he was in an old observatory of some kind that had long been abandoned. He knew this from his time training with the Galileo School of Martial Arts Astrologers. It had been a strange group, adopting poses of combat from star signs and claiming they gained more power during certain planetary alignments. He had even had one of them try and predict his path in life with their skills, but evidently no one could find his star sign in the sky when they looked.
Ryoga moved out onto a balcony pushing aside some hanging vines with a hoof. He blinked confused as he noticed this was the tallest structure still standing in this place, which was weird because he didn't recall running up any stairs. He also finally got a good look at where he was. It looked like an old ruined castle in the middle of a forest. The moon was high in the sky which was odd given he thought it was early morning, but he wasn't too surprised given he had evidently walked through a spring of drowned horse and not noticed.
There was a large mountain in the distance that he didn't recognize and he could see lights near the top as if there was a settlement there.
“Where on earth am I this time?” Ryoga muttered.
A sudden flare of energy tickled his senses as a flash of light lit up the tower behind him. Turning around and poking his head through the vines he was greeted to the sight of a purple unicorn rushing at a much bigger dark unicorn.. pegasus thing. He wasn't sure what that one was. A flying unicorn? A Pegicorn? A Unisus?
What he was sure of was, that between the coloration, the dark swirling vortex of hair, and the way she spoke with a uppity tone, were a hallmarks of most of the villains that he had encountered during his travels with the others.
Either that or she was a Kuno.
He sighed at the sudden pang of depression that hit him as he thought back about all those fights with the others. His eyes half closing as he shook it off and focused his attention on the conflict in front of him.
The two charged each other racing across the floor before the smaller one vanished in a flash of light. He blinked at the surge of what felt like some sort of chi. Following the feel of it as the large one looked around he spotted the purple one fussing with some stones on the raised dais behind the darker one. The rocks floated a little before dropping back to the ground as the purple one seemed to start to panic at what ever had happened failing.
The dark horse let out evil laugh number four and smacked the purple mare away with her mane. She turned to lord herself over the smaller horse raising her hooves to slam them down and shatter the stone balls the purple mare had been after, destroying them.
Ryoga considered, still standing on the balcony as the dark horse ranted, she was taller than the other ones, maybe they were ponies, were horses evil around here? That made him smirk as he considered Ranma's name's meaning. The horse was hitting evil rant number three, evidently she kidnapped the princess the others were talking about and the sun? Was that a metaphor? Maybe son, not sun?
Ryoga listened to the rant. Nope that was sun with that whole night lasting for ever thing. What the heck school of martial arts was this?
“And now Twilight Sparkle. You shall share the fate of all that oppose me.” Nightmare Moon growled , her horn glowing brightly as she ripped a large pillar out of the floor, the ceiling over it collapsing with a crash of tile and shattered stone as she heft the massive several ton pillar in the air as if it was nothing, brandishing it like a fly swatter.
“Don't worry , I'll make sure your little companions join you soon.” Nightmare Moon cackled bringing the pillar down on top of the shocked purple mare.
“BAKUSAI TENKETSU!!”
Nightmare Moon's eyes widened at the shout. She had barely caught the movement by the balcony as she brought down the pillar.
She was familiar with the language, but what did 'Explosive breaking point hole ' even mean and why scream it.
Was it that pegasus? She was certainly fast enough to have zipped across the room like that, but if she did it just to push Twilight out of the way, why shout, and better still did she manage to be quick enough to rescue the unicorn and herself or just push Twilight out of the way, perhaps she didn't even succeed in that. Still if either of them were dead the risk to Nightmare Moon was no more.
The impact of the stone against the floor had caused the old masonry to shatter filling the air of the room with dust. Nightmare snorted remaining as she was as she cautiously looked around for the source of the odd shout. Her green eyes widening as the dust cleared and a orange earth pony stood between Twilight and Nightmare Moon, dusting the remains of the utterly destroyed chunk of stone from his black mane and the tiger patterned bandanna he wore.
“What?!”
“You know this is really none of my business, but I've got some issue about the strong picking on those weaker than themselves.” Ryoga stated tilting his head a little back and forth cricking his neck. He hadn't been sure that he could break the point on the stone with his hooves as he never practiced as a pig, but clearly his skills translated fairly well even as a horse.” I'm not really in a mood for this . So I'm going to give you this chance to back down.”
“You dare defy me.... ?!?”Nightmare Moon growled.” DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM!?!”
Ryoga thought back over all the villains he had met and didn't place any to match this one. So he considered the small group he had encountered and what one of them had called this one.
“Black Snooty?” Ryoga asked with a shrug.
The mare was not amused.
The dark unicorn charged her horn, firing off blasts of magic towards him as she snarled. Ryoga slid back snapping open his umbrella and stood in front of the dazed purple mare as the spells slammed into the red umbrella.
“What... how did you do that?” Twilight gasped knowing the type of spells Nightmare Moon had thrown at her.
“No idea.” Ryoga offered, looking down at his hooves that were some how holding the umbrella. “ Well okay, stay behind this or run. I'll deal with her.”
The orange stallion moved off and Twilight blinked.
“Umm, hey, err sir? “ Twilight called.
“Yeah?” Ryoga looked back over his shoulder.
“Nightmare Moon is over there.” She pointed a hoof in the opposite direction of where the stallion was going.
“Oh... right . Thanks.” Ryoga looked over and refocused on what he now knew was Nightmare Moon. Yup that was a villain name.
Well.
It could still be a Kuno.
Nightmare Moon frowned as she looked at the stallion. Who was this? Where had he even come from? What was with that stupid umbrella? Those shots should have melted simple cloth or canvas or whatever.
“You know I'm not really used to fighting on all fours and I don't really like hitting girls.... not sure if that counts for ponies, but I'm having a bad day and I'll give it a go if you persist, still it might be better if you gave up and returned the princess or whatever else you took.” The stallion stated simply as he moved from behind the umbrella leaving it on the floor.
“You have made a grave mistake little pony.” Nightmare Moon snarled watching as the pony reached up into his mane with a hoof. “Leave now before I tear you heart out and crush it.”
The stallion let out a humorless laugh.”Wouldn't be the first time that's happened.”
“What?” Nightmare Moon blinked in confusion before throwing herself to the side at the feel of a small flickers of energy forming near the stallion.
A series of orange blades tore through the air where she had been standing, the whirling weapons digging into the stone where she had been. A glance down showed copies of his bandanna stiff as steel and embedded into the stone. The faint flickers of energy that came from them faded away as the cloth flopped softly to the floor.
“What?” Nightmare Moon asked again, startled, before she was forced to rear up barely dodging the stallions hoof slamming down at her, pulverizing the stone floor before her.
She flapped her wings launching herself backwards and taking to the air to try and gain some distance and figure this out. The green eyed stallion lept into the air after her, the forty foot hop barely seeming to take any effort from the stallion.
Nightmare Moon gasped as the stallion was back to being face to face with her, his hoof lashing out again. She brought up her forelegs to block, the impact of his hoof against her legs making her scream out in pain as she was belted out of the air and sent smashing into the stone dais below her destroying it with the impact.
Ryoga landed lightly and looked over at the crushed stone work, feeling the whole tower shake from the impact.
This felt weird to him. If this was the big bad, it felt odd to be fighting the main bad guy for once rather than his second in command like he usually did.
He was also surprised how much he could do like this. Maybe he should have done more training while he was the pig.
Still it didn't feel correct to him, fighting like this, but so far he was making do simply by letting his body act naturally without thinking much on it, relying on this forms reflexes more than trying to force it to do what he thought was right. That had helped him in the past as the pig, though he knew he couldn't rely on that. His skills were suffering.
“You dare strike ME!?!?”
Case in point.
The rubble Nightmare Moon had been flung into exploded up ward showering the area with rocks and dust. The mare screamed out in inarticulate rage and charged her horn firing off a blast that reminded Ryoga of Ranma's Hiryo Shotan Ha, though clearly not as dangerous. He side stepped the blast letting it blow a hole in the wall next to him making the tower shudder again.
“TWILIGHT!”
Ryoga spared a glance towards the voice, taking note of the others he met earlier running up behind the purple mare. Good maybe they would get her out of here.
He brought up a fore limb blocking a blow from the mare that sent him skidding to the side a few feet over the stone. He was rather impressed at the blow as thus far this Nightmare seemed all magical threat. Still no need to tell her that, she was already pissed off.
“If that was your best strike. You might want to reconsider giving up.” Ryoga offered.
Nightmare Moon screamed at him lunging at him firing random blasts of magic and lashing out at him. With her wings and forelegs.
Ryoga blocked the physical attacks without too much trouble, though the magical attacks forced him to move and dodge and stay on the defensive. He took note of the other mares he had met earlier surrounding the purple one listening to her explain something. There was a powerful aura from that direction that was growing stronger , but he couldn't tell who it was coming from with all the other magic being thrown at him.
Probably the pink one.
Nightmare Moon suddenly vanished from in front of him making Ryoga snap his attention back to the fight.
He didn't see her at all until he heard the pop behind him. He whirled around getting a full view of equine rump showing exactly where the dark mare's odd purple butt tattoos came together. He jerked back a little feeling a trickle of blood from his nose just before a pair of powerful rear hooves slammed into his midsection as Nightmare bucked him.
Both hooves connected sending Ryoga flying across the room, smashing into and through the far wall. With a loud cry of panic Ryoga realized he was falling out of the sky towards the deep ravine that surrounded the old castle.
“Well that takes care of that.” Night mare moon smirked at the stallion's scream as he fell from the tower.
That smile quickly faded as her head whipped around seeing the broken Elements of Harmony floating around five of the six mares.
“WHAT?!”
Ryoga growled to himself as he crawled out of the river. His side still hurt from the kick, but he had suffered far worse impacts in his fights with Ranma.
Still this gave him plenty of reminder he shouldn't get distracted. That was something that was always used against him it seemed even as a little horse.
Ryoga frowned. Thinking about those past battles made him depressed again. He lay on his back looking up at the sky for a while before he blinked in surprise as the sun shot up into the air like some one had thrown it.
That was very odd. It rated at least a seven on the weirdest stuff he had seen.
Well that was something to look into later, or not. He really should get back and make sure that Nightmare Horse thing was really beaten. He rolled over to his hooves. He had never even heard of a spring of magical talking crayon colored horse.
But there was probably a very tragic story of a crayon horse drowning there one thousand years ago. Or something like that.
Wait.
Something was odd.
Was the ground always this close when he had been a horse?
“Bweee?” Ryoga asked no one in particular, his eyes widening as he took note that he was a very familiar little black pig.
“BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” P-chan screamed in rage at the universe mocking him again.
The shift of the brush at the edge of the river bank he was on revealed something else there as the pig screamed his frustration and anger into the air.
A large cat like monster that looked like a lion had crept out of the woods. It's wings flat against its back and it's scorpion tail poised to strike the little snack before it.
P-chan whirled quickly on it, his snout meeting the nose of the manticore, his eyes glaring, with a rage that promised many unpleasant things, at the large feline. The piglet seemed to be urging the manticore to 'Try it and see what happens.'
The manticore stared down at the piglet, who kept it's steeled and threatening gaze on the larger beast.
The maniticore blinked and lowered it's tail, backing away as it decided to find something less threatening to eat... like an ursa.
The timber wolves P-chan encountered a little while later however as he was looking for a kettle, were much less intimidated.
In which Ryoga meets a Kasumi horse.
Not All Who Wander
Part 4,
Princess Celestia frowned, as she looked at the odd umbrella and campsite that was all that could be found of this mysterious 'Fang' pony as Pinkie Pie had called him.
There was a a lot here that did not make sense. Twilight had seen the pony go hoof to hoof with Nightmare Moon and actually hold his own until she bucked him through the wall. A blow he survived going by the girls recollection of the scream and series of curses.
Princess Celestia had no idea what was going on with this stallions belongings.
Physically even she had issue lifting the umbrella he had left behind, and it was still heavy to her magically, though moving the sun for so long made that a great deal easier.
Examining his camp offered no information either. There were makers marks on a few of the items he had, but none of the places mentioned were known to her. China? Hong Kong? Japan?
She knew of similar names, but not those directly, and if these were some sort of knock off product they were quite well made. The clothing inside the bag was odd as well as it seemed made more for a minotaur like body than that of a pony.
Then there was the photo.
Still the similarity of the names as well as Rarity's insistence that he seemed to be Neighonese led her to assume that was the case. She had little real contact with that distant Equestrian settlement as they were self sufficient and practically their own nation at this point, despite their connection to Equestria.
Currently she had guards scouring the area around the possible location of of where he may have landed when he was kicked from the castle, but their report seemed he had fallen into the river and was swept away. The Guards were patrolling along it, seeing if they could find the point he crawled out, but thus far they had only found animal tracks.
Princess Celestia sighed. It was quite important that this stallion be found, not only to question him on how he managed to do anything Twilight and the others said he did, but also to thank him for his assistance in defeating Nightmare Moon.
Most importantly however it was to alleviate the concern of her sister, who thought she had killed some pony.
With everything else Luna was going through for the last few days now that she was freed, Celestia didn't want her sister to have some pony's death on her conscience as well.
Angel Bunny was not a happy rabbit
Fluttershy had gone off without him into danger and nearly gotten hurt or killed.
He was quite mad that she hadn't brought him along to protect her.
After all if something happened to Fluttershy, who would feed him?
As such he was sulking as he made his rounds through the forest, almost daring something to come and mess with him. Beating the fool out of that coyote was fun, but one good kick to the nose and the wuss had run off. Angel was actually hoping to find a timber wolf or the like, those things were perfect to let his aggression out on, particularly as they kept regenerating to be beaten down again.
The forest seemed to be rather empty today however, as by now a 'innocent' little white bunny should have several predators or monsters after him.
Hopping into a clearing his ears perked up as he looked around curiously, hearing something moving through the underbrush towards him.
Angel bunny grinned turning to the sound.
After watching the shrubs at the far side of the clearing he noticed one moving and a moment later a tumble weed walked out.
Angel blinked at the clattering mass of sticks as it tromped across the clearing. There was the scent of blood in the air that drew Angel's attention and it seemed to be coming from the shambling mound.
Looking closer as it approached Angel took note of little black hooves moving under the creature's wooden mass. Studying it as it walked past him, ignoring the white bunny was even there, Angel saw what looked like a pig snout in the front.
Was this literal Pork-u-Pine, with all that wood?
Shaking his head at that thought Angel watched the wooden pig make it almost to the end of the clearing before it seemed to collapse, the sticks rattling as it fell.
Approaching curiously Angel took note that a few of the sticks had fallen off, and their ends were soaked in blood.
Angel's eyes widened, this thing had been impaled by sticks? Was that what was going on here?
Still it was a wounded animal of some kind. And Angel Bunny did have standing orders. With a sigh he took off back to Fluttershy's house, hopefully this creature would still be alive and here when they got back.
“Ya'll sure this is alright Twilight?” Applejack stated as the pair walked down the road towards Sweet Apple Acres. The farm mare had a large bag and a red umbrella across her back, thus far she had been the only one able to lift the items, and even then Twilight's magical aura was wrapped around the gear helping Applejack carry it.
“Princess Celestia said we should make sure it was secure somewhere in case he showed up again.“ Twilight explained. “ I figure since your farm is closest to the old castle, he's most likely to come through here if he makes his way towards town.”
“Well ah suppose yah got a point, ain't like this stuff ken be moved easy. How strong was that stallion that he was jumping around with this stuff.” Applejack huffed. ”Ah've moved entire trees that were lighter than this umbrella of his.”
“The material isn't anything odd as far as I can tell, canvas and bamboo, it's a simple construction, but there's some sort of magic in lay in it that neither I nor the Princess recognize.” Twilight smirked.” This whole thing is quite fascinating.”
“Well in either case, got a spot in the barn tah put his stuff. Little bit of room there as well if he needs a place tah stay fer a bit.” Applejack offered.”Dun trust him completely, but he did help us out there so ah'm willing tah give him tha benefit of tha doubt, just not enough to let him intah tha house.”
“Understandable, but we need to find him first. The guards have only found his shirt further down the river, that's a good sign for him still being alive as the cloth was intact , but.....” Twilight sighed.” It's been nearly a week and this Ryoga pony hasn't come back for any of his things.”
“Heh, who knows Twi, he might just be lost. That stallion went hoof tah hoof with a goddess trying tah kill him and he was fine, ah don't think anything in tha Everfree's gonna be much trouble for him.” Applejack offered as the pair walked into the barn.
Applejack shifted letting the heavy pack and even heavier umbrella slide off her back with a groan as she and Twi propped it up in the corner, laying the umbrella flat on the ground behind the pack to keep it from possibly falling and hurting some pony.
“ I do hope he shows up again. The Princess and I have a great deal of questions.”Twilight considered thinking about the crumpled picture she and the Princess had found at the bottom of the bag, showing a group of bipedal creatures.
“Questions?”Applejack asked looking at the bag and umbrella.” Yeah, ah ken think of a few as well.”
“I mostly want to know how he was able to do what he did, where he came from, what his story might be, how he came to be at the castle....
“Is he single?” Applejack teased.
“Is he si... APPLEJACK!”Twilight snapped turning red.
Applejack laughed as Twilight huffed in annoyance.
Another stick clattered to the ground as a yellow pegasus carefully pulled it out of the little pig. Fluttershy frowned as Angel Bunny hopped up and wiped her brow with a rag as she looked down at the pile of sticks, wooden teeth, and claws that she had pulled out of the little black pig.
There was also a massive pile of orange tiger striped bandannas that Fluttershy gave up trying to remove after a few score of them pulled off left the little pig with one around his neck still.
When Angel Bunny had led her to the little critter she had though it was already dead. Though after checking it out the little pig only seemed to be unconscious despite all the wood impaling him.
Fluttershy had seen this sort of thing before, but never to this degree. Timber wolves tended to be apex predators but occasionally they encountered things they couldn't deal with and could shed their own lumber like a porcupine shed quills into an attacker.
How this little pig had gotten so impaled was beyond her.
It had taken her a few hours to get this far with carefully removing the wood. There was a good bit of blood, but nothing that seemed life threatening. Most of the sticks only seemed to just pierce the skin enough to stick into the little pig not pushing past the muscle.
Fluttershy had immediately brought him home and changed into the nurses outfit she had for just this sort of thing. Rarity had made it for her a while back and while it was a bit too racy for her taste usually, she did like feeling the part when she helped out any little critter.
She had started to remove the rest of the sticks as soon as she was prepared. In the end the table was a mess of blood and mud from the little pig, but thus far the little critter seemed to be fine.
Still she needed to get him cleaned up before she could start treating all the little wounds he had before they got infected, the poor thing must be so lost and hurt.
Fluttershy let out a sigh gently picking up the little pig in her wings, carrying him over to the shallow pan of hot water she had prepared. The water was a bit warmer than she liked, but with the injuries and this much mud and blood, cold water might be too much of a shock for the poor thing.
She blinked in surprise as the little pig started squirming as carried him away from the messy table to the pan.
“Bwee?” the pig questioned.
“It's okay little one, you're safe here.” Fluttershy smiled at the question lowering the black piglet into the water to start trying to clean him up.
Several things happened in that moment, that Fluttershy would later turn bright red about when she recalled it.
The first was that the piglet suddenly panicked about the water just before she put him in the shallow tub, accidentally dunking the struggling creature.
The next was that she then had her wings wrapped around a rather muscular orange earth pony stallion, who was dripping wet.
Then the table the pan was on collapsed sending the stallion and the water crashing to the floor soaking Fluttershy and her white nurses uniform.
The sudden change and the dousing stunned her, and her eyes widened as she and the stallion looked at each other.
Fluttershy saw naked wet maned stallion in a tiger striped bandanna sitting on her floor staring up at her.
Ryoga saw a yellow pony in a nurses outfit soaked enough that the material had gone transparent enough to show the yellow fur under it.
Fluttershy panicked and fainted.
Ryoga's mind informed him he was seeing something naughty, despite it being a pony before him and he promptly got a nose bleed and fainted as well.
Angel Bunny double face pawed as the two collapsed.
Part 5, In which there is a bug.
Not All Who Wander
Part 5, In which there is a bug.
Braeburn, which is what the pony called himself, was perhaps the most talkative creature Ryoga had ever met. Not counting Azusa. However he was friendly, and knew all the places in town, and was willing to offer him a place to stay and a meal for helping out a bit with some work.
It wasn’t much in the way of work in truth and it allowed him a moment or two to think about his situation as he hauled wagons of supplies, Braeburn moving along with him pulling another cart chatting up a storm and thankfully helping him figure out where to go.
He had hoped that leaving Nerima would be the end to his problems, well his biggest ones were solved. No Ranma or any of the madness that followed him. He still had the pig curse, no sense of direction, but now he was a little horse as well.
As long as he didn't focus on moving, his body reacted like it had always been a quadruped, he only stumbled when he thought to much on how he was moving, it wasn't a much a stretch from normal though, he often blindly walked while lost in thought.
The folks here were planting trees. setting up an apple orchard and farms. The town was still in the process of being built as well, though most of the main structures seemed to be set up. A general store, a Sheriff's office, and of course a tavern.
All run by ponies.
And if there were actually guns, with all these accents he would have sworn he was in Texas.... again.
That was not a fun place to be if you looked like a hobo, didn't look American enough, or had any sort of accent other than the one common there.
Better than Florida though, Nerima was more reasonable than that place.
There were other races in this town too though not many and they seemed to mostly work with the railroad. Ryoga had seen a few cows, burros, some weird black carapaced bug pony thing that Braeburn had introduced as Kevin, and lots of Buffalo. All of the races sapient and speaking this weird version of English ponies had. If this was the result of some Cursed Springs, it was weird ones. And one that it seemed the entire population was partaking in, even the children.
Still it was clear by some of the objects in the world that there were humans here. Saddles, tea cups with finger grips, coffee mugs with the same sort of handles, and there were a number of terms that humans came up with. The showers had handles that looked to be manipulated with fingers rather than hooves or teeth. There didn’t seem to be any cars or planes that he had seen and there didn’t seem to be any infrastructure for anything but the trains but evidently the place was pretty big. It reminded him of that Sodor place except without the super creepy faces on everything.
He'd considered getting a job as one of the train pullers, but it turned out that was a very weird job. They pulled the train to the coal mines, filled up, then rode it back, dropped off all the coal and pulled the train back. It was… weird. He was sure there was more to it but they were all union so they didn’t want to hire him with out the proper paperwork filed.
Which was a pity as Ryoga probably could have avoided getting lost if he had a track to follow.
Maybe.
There had been an issue with the Buffalo going on when he showed up, nothing violent but it was growing heated. His only encounter with one was when a massive brave move in front of the cart he was pulling demanding he stop.
Ryoga had simply pushed him out of the way to keep pulling the cart. A few of them had tried to get in his way to stop him after that and he had done the same thing and eventually they all just left looking bewildered.
He wasn't sure why, sure they out massed this pony form by five or so, but they weren't that heavy, he had picked up heavier rocks without issue.
Lately Braeburn had been excited that his cousin was coming to visit, at least that was what Ryoga had gotten from his non stop stream of conciseness ranting as the pair pulled their carts of supplies to the homestead being built.
Granted that had been three days ago.
He thought it was three days, he kinda zoned out.
The building had to be around here some where.
There sure was a lot of dessert, was there this much around the town?
Kuso.
Maybe he could ask directions at that odd twisted black rock tower over there. There seemed to be a bunch of ponies like that Kevin fellow buzzing around it.
Queen Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at the pony her drones had brought before her. He was a rather unassuming creature. The stallion had a faded orange coat and glossy black mess of a mane that he kept out of his brown eyes with a orange and black striped bandanna. He had been pulling a cart full of lumber though her drone s had releaved him of that at least. Normally she'd have him thrown in a pod, but she had never had any one trot up to the hive and ask for directions before.
“What are you doing here Pony? Chrysalis demanded.
“I was trying to find out where I am.” Ryoga stated.
“You are at my hive.”
“Sorry that doesn't help me much. Where is Appleloosa from here? I was bringing the lumber to a house on the edge of it when I got lost.”
“Appleloosa...” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “The pony settlement? That is leagues away on the other side of the Badlands across the dessert. How did you get here?”
“Well Braeburn had to run to the bathroom and I usually followed him, but I figured I could get the cart to where it was supposed to be without any issue, though some one must have moved the house when I wasn't looking and I wound up here.” Ryoga offered. ”I don't suppose you've heard of a place called Nerima have you? No, oh well. If not could you just point me back towards town and I'll be on my way.”
Chrysalis smirked. “ Pony you will be doing nothing but feeding my hive. You love and happiness will be quite the treat.”
“My love and happiness... ? Ryoga questioned as the tall black bug ponies horn started glowing.
Princess Celestia looked out over Canterlot, the spot on her balcony having a view that allowed her to see for leagues over Equestria from the vantage. She smiled, glancing over to her sister as Luna was prepared to raise her moon. Celestia reached up to collect her sun and lower it over the horizon only for a pillar of green flame to erupt into the sky in the distance shooting up into space and blowing clouds away.
Luna and Celestia both stared at it as the beam continued to swirl and spin for a few moments before it began to fade.
“Sister what was that?” Luna questioned.
“I have no idea. But what ever it was it looked like it was from the Palamenio dessert or perhaps the Badlands judging by the distance.” Celestia hummed as she considered. “I cannot say I've ever seen anything like that before. It might be worth investigating.”
A high pitched whistling drew the pairs attention and they both looked up and stepped to the side as a black carapaced creature slammed into the balcony with a horrendous crash.
The creature was smoking with it's green mane and tail looking like it had caught fire. It was also very unconscious.
“Chrysalis?” Luna blinked.
“Who?” Celestia asked.
“An old foe of ours from when thee were busy setting up the kingdom and we defended it.” Luna explained before looking to the sky then to where the green pillar was. ”How is it she has arrived here?”
“No clue... but now I am quite curious.” Celestia offered. ”What should we do with her?”
“She is a parasite at best. A swift ax would be fitting.” Luna snorted.
“Luna!”
“What? Thine prefers a slow ax?“ Luna questioned. “That gets messy.”
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Part 6, in which Ryoga experiences High Society Fashion
Not All Who Wander
Part 6, in which Ryoga experiences High Society Fashion
[Canterlot Castle a week later.]
Princess Celestia tuned out the noble droning on and on about some tax code loophole he claimed to have found which meant that the ERS didn't have the right to fine him for tax evasion.
Celestia knew the loop hole in question and it had been closed the moment her sister had taken a look at the tax codes.
Luna was very good with laws and anything even remotely tactical, or strategic, or combative.... come to think of it Luna was a lot better than her in a lot of things. Why had she felt like she wasn't as good, oh right, she had learned to do all of those things to try and be at least as loved as Celestia way back then.
Still Luna was reluctant to restart her Night Court, so Celestia was letting her help in other ways. Which meant letting her do most of the paperwork and go over forms.
Celestia was not impressed at the 'effort' the noble had gone into to find the loophole, Luna had been bored and had corrected a lot of tax law loop holes in her first few days back, the noble had paid a team of lawyers hundreds of bits to find one single loop hole. Which was beyond stupid since it only amounted to about twenty six bits that he owed.
Still better to let him rant so she could shut him down fully when he finished, while he was rambling she could ponder more important things that were happening.
With the capture of Queen Chrysalis, who was still nonsensical when she wasn't going through weird mood swings and manic episodes, the entire Changeling nation pretty much surrendered.
The doctors and empaths Celestia brought in to look at the queen marked that she was suffering from clear depression on a level they had never seen before. The Changelings questioned who had been there when the explosion happened said she had been draining some earth pony they found in the desert pulling a cart of lumber.
The description that was given had excited Luna quite a bit and confused Celestia as evidently it had been Ryoga Hibiki that had been the one to defeat the Changeling Queen.
Celestia wondered how he had gotten all the way out there and what the cart of lumber had to do with anything.
Unfortunately none of the Changelings knew what happened to him after the explosion, the only lead was one claiming he had simply wandered off into the desert.
She had pegasi sweep the entirety badlands and no sign of him had been found, yet again.
It was rather frustrating in truth but it was proof that he was still alive after he had vanished when looking for the bathroom last time he was in Canterlot.
They still hadn't fixed all of the walls.
Then there was Luna, who was even more infatuated now that this mystery pony had defeated an old foe of hers, Celestia however was worried.
Celestia felt that she really needed to find this stallion as he was a walking natural disaster. The Nightmare Moon fight, the chase through Canterlot, now this. She wondered what his deal actually was.
No one could seem to pin down where the stallion was. There was word he was in Apploosa, there was a comment from Fluttershy that he had been in Ponyville, though the mare in question had turned bright red and refused to elaborate.
Fluttershy had muttered something under her breath that Celestia hadn't caught, though Luna evidently had. Her sister had promptly tried to get Fluttershy to join a Herd agreement in pursuit of the stallion so that when they finally found him they wouldn't need to have a trail by combat to see which of them could claim his hoof.
Fluttershy had then promptly fainted.
Celestia needed to have a word with her sister about modern courting. Sure the tax codes were the same after a thousand years, but other laws had changed...
Maybe....
She would need to look into that, Celestia wasn't sure that many laws HAD changed.
Later.
But it wasn't just the mystery stallion that was a issue. There was something going on with the Abyssinians and the surrounding Diamond Dog packs to the far south that had stirred up a hornets nest of problems. It all seemed to stem from a gremlin of some kind stealing underclothing. It was bad enough that Kludge town, and Turtle Toga had formed a massive joint militia to deal with the gremlin, they had also discovered a plot by the Storm King that would cause all sorts of issues.
The groups involved realized that the Storm King was going to cause a war with his building forces, so they jumped him first.
The Hippogryphs were very happy about that as they were being pushed out of their homeland so they joined in as well and now there was a massive conflict going on down there.
And no one had caught the Gremlin that started it all yet.
There was a bang as the door to the side hall was thrown open and a group of Guards strode and rushed over to her taking up positions around her to act as a shield while the last guard , a bat pony that Celestia recalled was in charge of the Garden wing of the castle moved up to speak with her.
The bat pony dipped her head as she approached to speak just loud enough to where only Celestia could hear her.
“Princess Celestia. 'HIS' statue is missing from the garden.”
Celestia let out a string of words after that statement that caused a number of the nobles in the court to faint.
Figuring out where Luna's new paramour was just dropped drastically on the scale of importance.
Ryoga had seen some pretty weird martial arts in his travels, many of them he had incorporated into his own skill set, like the Umbrella Fu taught by that British woman, or Anything Goes Style Gymnastics.
Anything Goes Style Dress Making was a new one.
Still there was no other way to describe it . The white unicorn mare that had pulled him aside when he found himself in that spa changing back from a pig to a horse... pony... whatever he was, had to be at least a third or forth Dan in it.
She was also talking rather fast and not letting him get a word in edge wise as she gushed about some of the 'exotic' materials that made up his gear.
There was also the fact that somehow in the midst of catching him up to what had happened when he went missing and sending her little sister and her friends out to let someone else know to bring his things to him, she had managed to convince him to act as a clothes horse for her.
She took his measurements a few times and he was fairly certain she had been drooling while muttering about his inseam, and then proceeded to go out of her way to put him in at least eight different outfits while he stood there, still trying to figure out what was going on.
He knew most of his clothing was canvas and cotton with some silk and a bit of leather, and her fuss over the bandanna in his hair being nearly infinite silk had started a ridiculous rant from her.
Still at least this was calming and a fair distraction from trying to figure out the bug things, and where he actually was. She was also very talkative and he learned more about nobles than he cared to know, but it did let him know this was a more feudalistic secret island or something.
Still he had only met one Queen, and heard a mention of two Princesses, so he wasn't sure what the royal line was like. Plus this place was a lot bigger than he expected, though this was hardly the first isolated kingdom he had been to, not even the second really.
Still Rarity didn't ask any personal questions, didn't seem to mind his basic ones, and offered him lunch. She seemed a little put out at how much he ate, though she didn't say anything about it aside from wondering if she could enter both him and Pinkie in a eating contest. He did modify his table manners to use the Anything Goes Martial Arts Etiquette he had learned, though he wasn't quite as good as Ranma, or the guy with the big mouth. Since he wasn't in a hurry any where or at risk of some one stealing his meal he could enjoy it, but he still ate fast, old habits and all.
Of course the moment he thought of Ranma and having to fight him off for food back in school dropped him back into the spiral of depression and self reflection.
And that was how he wound up following a line of blue tape down a catwalk, wearing some strange outfit or another while a mess of other ponies stood around and took pictures of him walk? Trotting? Whatever he was doing on this stage.
He only understood snatches of what was going on, some big name Hoity Toity was here for this fashion show and Miss Rarity was trying to use that to help her business. Evidently if this guy approved of her work it would help out her line gain some much needed reputation.
Ryoga didn't understand it, but he knew the value of reputation. But he also remembered some guy coming to Ukyo's place and she went out of her way to make everything perfect for him. He ate a whole bunch of food , bitched about the décor, complained about the slow cooking time and pretty much everything else he could.
She beat the fool out of him after he talked crap about her food and was threatened with a bad rating unless she bribed him, though Ukyo was too pissed to care about that.
He had gone and done much the same to the Cat Cafe and Cologne got a hold of him.
Ryoga was pretty sure that guy's review in the Nerima paper never got updated again after that and neither the Cat Cafe nor Ukyo's was ever mentioned in the paper by any other critics.
As such when the show was over, he had a pretty good idea how to deal with the situation when the guy was just tearing into Rarity and some of the other mares who contributed to the show, talking crap and hinting at ways they could change his mind with a few too many nudges and winks.
So Ryoga punched him.
The pony flew off and hit a wall. The stupid vest and sunglasses he was wearing, along with a pompadour wig did not go flying and instead fell to the group where Ryoga had punched him out of them.
“ARRRGH how dare you!! Do you know who I am!?!?” the bald stallion whined.
“No.” Ryoga admitted getting a shocked look from the prone stallion.
“I really don't care either. I've watched Miss Rarity and these other mares spend all day putting this thing together to impress you, and you come in and do nothing but insult their work and try and get into their pants.... saddles.... whatever. People like you are just worthless. You have no talent of your own so you bitch about others talent to build yourself up. Why any one buys that sort of nonsense I'll never know. You probably don't even know a cross stitch from a hem line.” Ryoga growled at the pony thinking a moment trying to come up with something else to add before just giving up. “Also your hair is stupid.”
That the stallion suddenly broke down crying at that point and ran off after grabbing his wig, confused Ryoga further as he was pretty sure that the guy should have been hurting more from the punch than his insult, which he was pretty sure wasn't even up to Kuno's usual taunts.
He glanced back at Rarity and the other mares with her as they stared on at him in shock, and decided that it might be best if he left before any of them decided to show how mad they were at him.
A few moments after Ryoga left, the gaggle of mares recovered, several of them talking in shocked voices about Hoity Toity, though a few of the others questioned if the stallion who hit him was single.
Rarity interrupted the lot of them by informing them that under no uncertain circumstances that she had in fact, claimed dibs, and thus a argument started that resulted in a small brawl back stage.
Happosai had not had a good start to his day.
Horses.
Why did it have to be horses.
Horses didn't wear any pretties and they weren't fun to oogle. Sure these horses were pastel and kinda cute, but not in the way he needed.
Following that Hibiki boys trail had almost been the death of him, least if he hadn't brought a small bag full of Akane's silky underthings to keep himself energized.
Still it had been looking bleak until he came across a town that had something he hadn't seen in a long time.
Catgirls. Literal catgirls at that not weird partial ones like Shampoo.
And they all wore such pretty things, in new variations too, who knew how much more interesting the precious silky darlings could be when there were modifications for tails.
Then he found the puppy girls and it was so much better they were all rather top heavy and had such wonderful supportive preciousness to help with that. And of course he couldn't leave these exotic silky joys to sit and be uncollected. Oh no, he might never have a chance to find such darlings again.
He had propped himself up atop a roof looking out over the town, digging through his collection and seeing which ones were his favorite, the one with the pink bows from that particularly big Puppy girl leader really had his attention, though the pair of navy blue ones from the lovely little black cat with pink hair was also a contender, that pair was dropped in rank a little as the cat girl had turned into a bug horse to attack him, so some points were deducted, but it was still close.
He was still in the midst of deciding which was his favorite when a taloned hand grabbed him by the head like a bowling ball and lifted him up in the air to be eye to weird mismatched eye, with a snaggle toothed figure that was glaring at him.
Wait...
Happosai recognized this one.
Kuso.
“I believe. I told you when you were younger to not poke your nose into my playground imp.” Discord stated flatly. ”While I certainly do approve of the chaos you cause, I most certainly do not appreciate that you are perverting it..... literally.”
“Oh come on, I didn't know I was here again, everything is so much less candy coated than the last time I went gallivanting like this. “
“You say that like I care about your whining.” Discord sighed, snapping his fingers and causing the bombs Happosai tossed at him to turn into butterflies and I can't believe it's not butterflies. “ See now you are being rude on top trespassing.”
Discord tossed the little man up into the air with a wild spin, making Happosai dizzy and sending unmentionables fling in all directions like a silk shower. The midget recovered, turning in the air to land on his feet though as he started to fall back down he saw the chimeric god dressed in a Boston Red Sox uniform with a rather large bat. A bat that impacted his face at high speed and sent him rocketing into the stratosphere like he had just been exploded by an electric rodent.
“Tsk. What an annoyance.” Discord huffed. “Oh well back to my nap. Need to remember to set the alarm this time.”
The small ball of perverted annoyance finally came crashing down somewhere in Europe. Thankfully for Happosai, it was in a pool of water. Water that turned out to be a hot spring.
This normally would be bad for any one involved not named Happosai.
However as the little pervert gleefully dove into what he thought was the woman's side of the bath, he found that the spring was only a mixed gender spring.
One that was full of burly men in either too tight towels or being rather affectionate with each other.
The tiny pervert reeled dropping to his knees .
“Wha... what's going on?” Happosai whimpered.
“Hmm? Oh hey little dude, are you alright?” One of the men asked, the individual in question having more tattoos than normal skin, and far too much of that showing for Happosai's taste.
“Wha... where are all the pretty ladies.” Happosai trembled.
“Pretty ladies? Nah man , this is the fifth annual bear convention and hot springs trip. We don't need any ladies here, we rented out the whole mountain resort, skiing, hot springs, warm fires for cuddling...... “ The man laughed. “I mean the owner and her daughter are around, they're about your age I think.”
Happosai twitched, his eyes rolling back in his head as he passed out frothing at the mouth.
“Oh crap, Keith, Greg's got his nursing cert right? This old dude here just passed out. I think he's been in the heat too long.”
Ryoga cried out with a sound of anguish and inarticulate rage as he punched a wall he was next to, unfortunately causing part of it to collapse. He hadn't even hit it that hard.
“Where am I NOW!?” Ryoga demanded still wearing the fancy clothes from Rarity's show. This was some town out in the middle of nowhere that looked like it was shoddily constructed with buildings in rows.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU JACKASS!!” a voice demanded.
“Ukyo?” Ryoga asked turning to look only to see a lavender unicorn with a purple and teal mane glaring at him.
Author's Note
not quite dead but holy crap it's been a bit since i updated this.
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Part 7, in which [s]Ukyo[/s], Starlight Glimmer, realizes she had a bad idea.
Not All Who Wander
Part 7, in which ~~Ukyo~~, Starlight Glimmer, realizes she had a bad idea.
Starlight Glimmer was not a happy pony.
This was something of a universal truth as Cutiemarks still existed after all.
Still she had a plan for that, her village was set up and she had managed to get a large number of ponies to stay here and make it work. And the best part was the spell she had created to affect cutiemarks worked perfectly.
The concept was simple, the spell would take whatever the cursed mark, oh that was a good name for them, did to lock a pony into a talent and spread it out to everyone else under the spell. This meant that if she got the best baker in the world , then while they would no longer be the best baker, everyone else in the spells effect would be a pretty good baker at least.
She called it the Talent Pool Spell.
And it was working wonderfully, a number of farmers had become a town of farmers which dealt with the food supply, and a builder had become a town of them, sure the houses were pretty basic, and the crops limited, but it was better than it could have been, and no one would have to rely on one pony who would get pulled away by some one else wanting their talents.
Then she got a hold of the strange stallion named Ryoga Hibiki.
He didn't seem to have any attachment to his cutiemark and seemed fine if she wanted to try something with it.
Adding his mark to the talent pool spell was amazing. Everyone got much stronger, the repair ponies needed to fix a number of doors and walls, plus the stallion had an insane amount of skills that seemed to be tied to his mark somehow. Sewing, dance, acrobatics, cooking, forestry, hunting, which was odd but okay, and ton of others. His admission to the Talent Pool Spell had brought no end of bonuses proving that she was correct and ponies didn't need only their cutie marks to function and succeed in life.
Then the problems started.
She had lost track of Ryoga for half a day some how, only for him to be found at dusk nearly crying in joy as he had found the house he had been assigned after only a few hours.
That had been something just written off as strange, until she started getting reports of ponies getting lost in their own homes, which was insane as the houses only had 3 rooms and a closest.
One of her followers had come to get her for something, taken a turn into her hall closet and vanished for three days claiming she had been up in Yakistan.
She even had the t-shirt and souvenir mug to prove it.
Then there was that rainstorm that blew in suddenly and caught most of her townsfolk outside.
AND THEY HAD ALL TURNED INTO PIGS!!
Ryoga had pointed out that hot water would fix it , and it had , but seriously what in Tartarus was this pony?
After a few more ponies went missing, and several farmers couldn't find their fields she decided to cut her losses and killed the spell.
Clearly The Talent Pool Spell was broken somehow.
Well she still had a back up spell that would take Cutiemarks fully.
Before she could implement the new spell however , Ryoga had vanished somewhere.
Good riddance.
She still had no idea why he kept calling her Ukyo.
Ryoga let out a small sigh as he looked over the group staring at him.
One was a purple unicorn pony he had met before when fighting the black snooty, the other was an very pink pony that was practically hopping up and down as she stared at him, he was pretty sure he remembered her name as Pinkie Pie. There was also a light blue unicorn pony with a white mane and a wizards hat who was staring into space. Then there were the kids. A fat dumpy one and a lanky tall one whose voice pissed him off to no end for some reason.
There was also a massive blue bear though it was currently floating in the air out of town as the purple unicorn was doing something probably what the blue one was staring at.
And a small purple dragon who was listing off what sounded like random things , or spells.
Ryoga had been walking through the forest when the two foals had run by being chased by the bear. He moved into to save them keeping the bear distracted while the townsfolk fled. Then the purple unicorn showed up and called him off and started to do something which put the bear to sleep and floated it out of town.
The damage looked minor, though the pink mare and the dragon had pointed out that the foals had lead the bear into town in order to prove the blue mare, who was a traveling showman, show mare? Show pony? Whatever, could beat it.
Ryoga was kinda curious what sort of martial arts the blue mare used to beat it before when even he was having a bit of trouble fending it off, though she admitted that the 'Ursa major' she had told the story about driving off had been what the locals named an annoying black bear that kept getting into their trash. She had just rigged up a trashcan with fireworks and scared the bear off to collect the bounty.
Ryoga figured that was fine. He had once met a man who's idea of a martial art was throwing dynamite around. And that sort of thing was half of Happosai's bag of tricks too.
Still the Showmare was going to leave with her cart in the morning, the stupid foals were going to be punished and he was in the town where his stuff was supposed to be. Maybe Pinkie Pie would know where it was.
She didn't seem like she was going to take her eyes off him after all.
View Online
In which Ryoga meets Royalty, with a bit less punching.
Not All Who Wander
Part 5,
[Ponyville, Fluttershy's cottage.]
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry...” Ryoga bowed.
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry...” Fluttershy apologized.
Angel bunny grabbed both his ears and let out an inarticulate scream of rage which the two ponies only thought of as an adorable squeak.
The pair of them had woken up from their faints, spotted each other and then fainted again. Angel Bunny didn't know ponies could lose that much blood and survive.
The rabbit had kicked the earth pony stallion out of the bath room into the hall and waited for them to wake up out of sight of each other.
Then the apologies had progressed since then with barely a word edgewise about anything else.
Angel Bunny was rather certain neither of them even knew what they were apologizing for anymore.
Ponies were weird.
There was a great deal more apologizing from the yellow mare and from Ryoga as he eventually made his way out the door.
There had been at least two more moments of him passing out and the pegasus mare panicking, or her passing out and him panicking.
Oddly he felt that the mare without the nurses uniform was much less interesting for some reason, and he really had no idea what his brain was trying to tell him. Still she had tried to help and been quite surprised that he didn't seem to be injured beyond a pair of small bruises where Nightmare had kicked him. She reminded him very much of Kasumi, with a bit heavier Disney Princess vibe judging by the other inhabitants of her home.
That of course depressed him a bit more as he was lost in thoughts about Kasumi and everything else involving the Tendos.
He did figure out that their weird, horse land place was called Equestria, and Fluttershy had informed him that Black Snooty... errrr Nightmare Moon had been beaten and Princess Celestia was freed.
The fact the villain turned out to be the Princesses long lost sister was the only thing that made sense to Ryoga. Friendship magic, eternal night, and royal horses felt off to him, but the big bad being related or in some sort of relationship to the hero, or the princess being rescued? Yeah that was pretty normal from his experiences.
Still between the apologies, for what he wasn't even certain of any more, he found out they had taken all his gear to a farm called Sweet Apple Acres.
Fluttershy had told him it was right down the road and to just follow the signs.
So that was where he was now. Standing at a sign post with two branching paths.
He stared at the weird words stretched across the wood of the signs and sighed.
Of course he couldn't read their language, sure they spoke English, but their writing was unlike anything he had seen before.
After starring at the sign for a moment he decided to follow the word with the most letters turning right to follow a long winding path that lead towards a mountain.
Ryoga let out a soft sigh as he looked around the towering city around him. There were countless ponies and occasionally other creatures wandering around the city streets, many turning their nose up at the dirty looking earth pony as he looked around the place.
Ryoga was even more confused now, how big was this lost civilization? The lost boy sighed again drawing in a massive deep breath.
“WHERE AM I NOW!?!?” Ryoga screamed out into the air as he vented his frustration.
The shout of course attracted a lot of stares at the strange orange and black maned pony standing in the street. Ryoga whirled on a pony who had stopped nearby at his first scream.
“Where is Sweet Apple Acres!?!?!?” demanded Ryoga.
The pony blinked, taking a step back from the mad stallion. “Errr I think that farm is in Ponyville, at the base of the mountain.”
Ryoga blinked at that before screaming out again and cursing his luck.
“Yeah, okay, thanks.” Ryoga sighed turning around and starting to walk off from the pony who answered him, though it was towards the palace, rather than back out of Canterlot.
Ryoga had barely made it ten steps when there was a shout.
“Hey you. Stop there!”
“What?” Ryoga asked lifting his head to look back.
The last few days for the Royal Guard had been chaotic and quite simply viewed as a colossal, depressing, total failure.
They had some how lost their Princess, managed to under staff her guard at the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville, and the few that were there got their flanks kicked in one blow. They had also failed to find one stallion wandering in the woods, which the majority of their forces were still searching, leaving those in Canterlot pulling double or triple shifts.
Add onto that the rush to create a new unit to protect the new Princess that popped up, plus the sudden appearance of a number of bat ponies that heard their Princess was back, including a few that were high ranking soldiers of auxiliary units that most ponies ignored, and suffice to say everything was a PG rated Fuster Cluck.
So when a number of complaints came in about some vagabond screaming at ponies, the guards went in hoping for a win for once, or at least something easily solved.
Finding the stallion causing the ruckus was easy, getting him to listen was not, as he pretty much blew off the guard demanding to know who he was, with statements that he was leaving, despite the fact he was headed towards the palace.
So in the grand scheme of things one pegasus might be forgiven for trying to grab the indignant pony and hold him for questioning.
That said pegaus failed to catch the earth pony despite repeated attempts was impressive enough and it might have ended there, with Ryoga just avoiding the attempts until the pegasus gave up. Unfortunately a unicorn guard came on the scene and saw another Guard seemingly fighting an earth pony stallion and reacted accordingly with a stun bolt.
The attack hit the earth pony dead on and rather than stun the pony, only seemed to annoy him. It did allow the pegasus to finally get a hold of the vagrant as the target was distracted by the unicorns attack.
Said pegasus wound up being thrown aside into a cabbage stall for his troubles.
The unicorn seeing that his spells and the other guard were not enough, shot a flare into the air requesting help, that brought all the Guards left in the city to that point.
None of them were in a good mood.
Ryoga was not in a good mood.
The word that appeared most on the incident report, was 'collateral damage'.
Ryoga had no idea what was going on.
One moment he was suffering in anguish that some one had moved the farm and replaced it with this ridiculous city. He still didn't have his gear and figured he would need to replace it at this point. The next there was some armored flying horse trying to grab him.
The next thing he knew there was a ki wielding horse shooting some weak blasts at him. The flying one managed to grab him, but the hold wasn't great and a shrug sent the flying horse into a cabbage stand.
“Oops.” Ryoga winced planning to offer an apology when the horned horse shot a burst of ki into the air.
Not long after that there were a lot of armored horses.
This was hardly the first time Ryoga had fought off a swarm of guards or soldiers or mooks or whatever, though this was the first time it was talking horses.
He still wasn't even sure how he was talking or what spring this place used, his only goals at the moment were to get his gear back and find a way to become human again. Maybe he should ask one of these guys if they knew where the cursed spring was.
No wait, they had broken out spears now, clearly they were not friendly.
Ryoga flicked a barrage of bandannas towards them cutting off a few spear blades and giving one pony a really short mane cut.
As more gathered he decided to leave and took off at a gallop through the city, with a few score of guards chasing him.
Ryoga darted around buildings slipped through shops, and hopped over wagons and other ponies as need be, all while the clattering swarm of armored guards crashed, smashed, and trampled everything behind him.
That's not to say Ryoga didn't find himself cornered every so often, but that was a problem easily fixed by removing a wall or two.
The running battle through the city soon attracted more guards, some of the rare night guard, a few mercenaries who hoped the fleeing pony had a bounty, A yak who thought Yickslurbertfes had come early, a number of irate shopkeepers, a host of reporters thinking this might be a big scoop, a couple of dogs, and a few small foals who thought it was a over exuberant game of tag.
After smashing through another wall Ryoga whirled dodging a crossbow bolt and a number of other thrown weapons, as well as a rubber duck.
“Why are you even chasing me? I didn't do anything!” Ryoga shouted back at them.
“Then why are you running!?” A guard demanded.
“Because you're chasing me!” Ryoga shouted back.
“Because you're running.” The guard retorted.
“Ahem.”
Everyone froze at the relatively calm sound of someone clearing their throat. Ryoga's eyes widened at the flood of ki he felt.
Looking at the room he was in for the first time, it was a massive throne room of some sort with numerous sun symbols and a large number of stained glass windows, though only one seemed to have anything other than random colors in it. A large sun themed marble and gold throne, that looked like it had been pushed aside judging by the scrunching of the carpet, sat on a raised dais.
Next to that throne, not quite centered either, was another darker throne, seemingly made of onyx and sapphire with a moon theme, though it was empty.
The sun throne however was occupied by a very large white winged unicorn.
Ryoga blinked feeling the ki radiating off the mare, as the guards and everyone who had been chasing him suddenly dropped down in a bow.
It was kinda weird seeing horses do that. Ryoga dipped his head a bit, no sense making the obvious royalty mad without cause, though he didn't take his eyes off her, just in case.
“And who might you be, my little pony?” Princess Celestia questioned her gaze looking over the orange furred stallion with interest. Her gaze shifted to the crowd that had followed him through the wall with a small smirk.”Seems you are quite the popular one.”
“Princess, this pony is under arrest for disturbing the peace, attacking a guard, and massive property destruction.” One of the guards snapped. The earth pony looked about ready to jump Ryoga where he stood and if Ryoga was correct the fancy markings on his armor made him some sort of officer or other high muck.
“Oh?” Princess Celestia questioned as she raised an eyebrow looking at Ryoga.
“I didn't do anything.” Ryoga snapped, Princess Celestia looked back to the guard.
“You were screaming at random ponies in the middle of Canterlot.” the guard offered. Celestia looked back at Ryoga
“Right okay, though it was one guy and I just asked him a question, the rest is wrong, that winged guy attacked me and I didn't even do anything about it but dodge until the horned guy showed up and attacked me.” Ryoga snapped back as Celestia looked back to the Guard.
“I'm a mare!” the unicorn that shot at Ryoga to start with snapped, though she was ignored.
“ You ran from the Royal Guard and fought us off through six districts, two parks, and the royal palace.” the guard snapped.
“You count the parks separate from the districts?” a random shop keeper who had been in on the chase asked.
“It's a zoning thing the nobles came up with.” Princess Celestia sighed.
“A mob of armored people attack me at random and I'm not supposed to run?” Ryoga huffed.
“It was justified, look at the damage you did!” The Guard snapped pointing at the series of holes in the wall behind the mob that went straight through the palace and a bit down the street outside before it turned off.
“The walls shouldn't have been there.” Ryoga muttered, almost certain he had stuck to the roads.
Princess Celestia stared at the holes in the walls for a moment wondering what sort of strength this earth pony had that he could smash through the magically reinforced stone of the palace with such ease while on the run from a mob.
Celestia blinked as if realizing something.
“Hmmmm. Your name wouldn't happen to be Ryoga Hibiki would it?” Princess Celestia asked.
Ryoga flattened his ears a moment in confusion before realizing these weird horses spoke English and he had given his name the English way when he met those ponies at the castle.
“Errr... yes.” Ryoga nervously chuckled.
Princess Celestia smiled, he did fit the description and the name confirmed it, as well as the excessive display of power shown.
“I see. Lieutenant, escort the rest of the crowd back outside the palace and set some ponies to access damages and repairs, then report to Guard Captain Moskau and ask her to recall the ponies in the Everfree from their search. It seems the one we were looking for came to us.” Princess Celestia chuckled.” Sergeant Armor, Sergeant Trail please escort Mr. Ryoga Hibiki here to the Nort..... well I suppose we don't have a north meeting room now.”
Celestia frowned slightly looking at the hole.
Ryoga rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. Who ever this big winged Princess pony was it felt like he had disappointed his mother with the way she acted. He really didn't want to meet the king or queen if their daughter was like this.
“Well I suppose the west meeting room should suffice. I'll have some servants come up and bring you something to eat if you like Mr. Ryoga Hibiki. My sister very much wanted to meet you and it might take some time to rouse her to the state of entertaining guests. ”Princess Celestia sighed.
“Your sister....... she doesn't want a rematch does she?” Ryoga muttered.
Princess Celestia blinked then smiled. ”She might, though I also think she wishes to apologize for kicking you out of the old castle, quite literally from what I heard. At any rate just follow these two and they'll show you the room, you shouldn't have to wait too long.”
Ryoga glanced over at the two she indicated. One was a blue haired white furred unicorn in the gold armor the other guards wore. The other looked like a shaggy flying pony with bat wings. He wore darker purple and gray armor. In truth he reminded Ryoga of Black Snooty, or Nightmare or whatever she was called.
Ryoga stared at him a moment. This was at least a six on the Nerima scale, this place was just weird, and he wasn't even sure where it was yet.
Ryoga paused and reconsidered, in Nerima, there was a cat ghost seeking a human bride, a cross dressing ninja who disguised himself as random city objects, and a man with a palm tree growing out of his head that was considered a respected, though not by the students, Principal of a high school.
A land of pastel horses that spoke English got knocked down to a four at that train of thought. Even with the bat horses.
“Lulu... Lulu get up.” Celestia prodded her sister with a hoof.
“Murfum.”Luna responded burrowing deeper under her blanket.
“Lulu it's been three days, you can't sleep the whole time.” Celestia sighed.
“Watch us.” Luna retorted.
“Lulu I will get the hose again.” Celestia huffed.
“It is the middle of the day, we do not do well in thine bright orb of hot death. What is it thee wants!?!” Luna snapped sitting up.
“Well now if you are going to be cranky I won't tell you.”
“Then we will return to slumber.”
“ Fine... the stallion you fought has been found and he is in the castle.” Celestia offered.
“Truly?” Luna asked slowly sitting up her head hidden under the blanket. “Is he well?”
“Honestly I didn't even see a bruise on him, though he did seem to pick a fight with half the Guard left in the city.”
“How are the Guard?”
“Annoyed. Seems he ran from them rather than stand his ground and fight. With what he did to the walls I expect that was a good thing for the Guard.“
“Ahh a compassionate warrior as well as strong.”Luna offered.
“Well I suppose..... “ Celestia narrowed her eyes.” Lulu why are you so interested in him? I assumed it was to apologize for kicking him.”
“There is that yes.”Luna offered.
“Lulu....”
“At out strongest and most mad he fought us to a standstill.” Luna offered with a small sigh and a hint of a smile.
“Oh no.... It may have been a while, but I remember that smile and sigh.” Celestia sighed. “If he refuses your hoof in marriage, you are not going to challenge him to a duel are you?”
“Maybe.”
“What do you mean he's gone?” Princess Celestia blinked looking at Shining Armor and Comet Trail.
“He's gone Princess. We got to the meeting room and everything was fine, I mean, he ate like he was starving” Comet Trail gestured to the huge pile of empty dishes piled on the table.
“He needed to use the rest room so I pointed out the one across the hall there.” Shining Armor pointed behind the Princess to the door across the hall. “Now he's gone.”
“We didn't pass him on the way here. Have the Guards search the palace, let them know he is not in trouble, I simply wish to speak with him. Lulu is going to be so disappointed.” Celestia sighed.” Well go on, he can't have gotten that far.”
“Excuse me, do you know where Sweet Apple Acres is?”
“Sweet Apple Acres?That's mai cousins place. Sakes yer a long way from there. This is AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppplooooooooooooooooooooosa!!” Braburn offered.
“Of course it is.” Ryoga sighed.
