Everything is so...boring

by TheLocoPony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5167

Pinkie Pie has a secret. She takes her medication everyday to ensure she stays the same happy Pinkie

Pinkie is a happy, smiling, bouncing, fourth wall breaking pony which everypony loves. Little do they know about the truth of Pinkie. Or the vital importance of her medication to prevent the crushing boredom. Short fic, only going to be two or three chapters long

Published 2012-08-13 02:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-30 01:01:51 UTC

Just another day

Beep! Beep! Beep!

A groan emitted from the bundle of cloth on the bed. A pink hoof shot out and came down on the button on the alarm clock, silencing it's wailing cry. The blanket shivered and another hoof came out and bashed into the bedside table, causing a small curse to come from the bundle. the hoof came back out, much more slowly this time and slowly felt out the top of the bedside table. It slowly shifted across the top until it came to the middle and moved down to the drawer. Using the power of the hoof it opened the draw and rummaged around inside of it. It retracted slowly with a small white pill in the center and disappeared from sight under the covers.

There was a miniature rainbow explosion and Pinkie jumped out of bed full of energy. She giggled and vanished from sight under the bed, appearing out of the cupboard on the other side of the room with Gummy clamped to her mane and looking very bewildered. Pinkie sat down with Gummy still in tow and put one hoof to her head in serious thought.

"I need to prepare for the party tomorrow. After all, It's not everyday Dashie completes a three day long marathon around Equestria. Now what are we going to need? Streamers!!"

Pinkie shot off towards the door and Gummy flew off from the wind resistance and landed on a purple balloon, bounced once and landed neatly on the floor. Pinkie came rushing back in a second later, invisible under the huge pile of sparkly ribbons. She shook herself like a dog and it came off in one go, scattered across the room. She giggled again and pulled out a checklist Twilight had given her.

"Silly Twilight, as if I would ever forget cake!" Pinkie bounced off towards the doorway with the perfect plan in mind. It would be a seven tier cake, each one would be a different colour of the rainbow. It would also be covered in lots of small clouds with a red lightning bolt. And glitter, can't forget the glitter. She was sure Mr and Mrs Cake would let her take a small break from work to bake the cake for tomorrow.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

This time the hoof came out from under covers a lot more violently. Crashing into the alarm clock and knocking it to the floor, where it mercifully landed on the button. The pink hoof then moved down into the already open drawer and fumbled around. This continued for the next few seconds, growing more and more frantic with each passing moment. Eventually it reached a point where it would be obvious that further blind searching would yield nothing.

A head poked out looking around suspiciously. Deeming it safe Pinkie dragged herself out of bed. Her mane came straight down on either side of her head with none of the usually bounciness. There were large bags under her eyes which were half closed from exhaustion.

"Too much effort" She moaned pitifully to herself. Limping forwards, using as little energy as possible she peered into the dark depths below her. She flicked a switch on the lamp casting light into her sensitive eyes and into the drawer. Shielding her eyes from the light above with a hoof she took another look down where a shocking amount of emptiness stared back at her.

She collapsed backwards and groaned. Today was not going to be a good day. She needed to get more of that medicine. She remembered the first time she had gotten the pills. She was just a filly and gone to the doctors to get help for her emotions.

*

The small pink filly sat down with a huff. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't bring herself to enjoy those parties she had set up. She was still a master of them, there was no doubt about that. But it was like all of the colour and energy had been sucked out of the world. Everypony else was smiling and laughing and having the time of their lives, except her. She had resolved that something must be done about it. She was to visit the doctors later that very day.

She sat down in the waiting room leaning with her head balanced on one hoof. Ever since that day she just lacked the energy to bother with anything much.

The doctor put his head around the corner and spotted Pinkie. "This way Ms Pinkamena Diane Pie. She sighed and with a huge amount of effort got to her feet.

She walked in through the door where the doctor gestured towards the empty sofa with his hoof. Moving over Pinkie settled down, almost falling asleep due to both the comfortableness and the boredom. The doctor gave a small cough to get her attention before starting.

"Now, I've got the results right here, but I'm not sure if you'll want to hear them." He said, clearly nervous to be speaking to a child like this.

Pinkie rolled her eyes "Just tell me already." She was so bored and tired

"Well...it appears that the 'sonic rainboom' as I hear it's called has...um...shorted out your emotions."

At this Pinkie raised her head and considered the doctor carefully "Are you telling me...that I'm never going to enjoy anything again"

The doctor gave a nervous gulp "Well, basically yes." Pinkie looked down at the floor, she didn't even feel anything. She was just...bored. The doctor continued "But I may have a solution!" Pinkie looked up in surprise.

The doctor made his way over to a cupboard where he pulled out a large clear bag filled with tiny white pills.

He held them up in one hoof and looked down at Pinkie and spoke gravely "Listen carefully now, this is important. These are experimental and very dangerous. The last pony to try suffered such a rush it put him in a coma for ten days. He wouldn't touch the stuff again. However, I believe that with your lack of emotions it would, more or less, cure you for a single day with each pill."

He noticed the look in her eyes and glared at her to keep quite "This will allow you to feel all emotions again, but on a much higher level. You will enjoy everything so much more, even receiving smiles will fill you such joy. However this also works the other way as well. In fact I believe that if the depression is great enough it could push you into insanity a little. Something this powerful will also fill you with energy all day and cause extremely erratic behavior, and there were some brief cases of this even breaking the fabric of reality, but i believe that if just one pony uses these it will be fine. Now are you sure you want to use these, now you know everything?"

Pinkie looked with almost glee "Yes!" She reached over and took the bag. Reaching one hoof in she pulled out a white pill and quickly swallowed it. At once the world filled with colour and rainbows. Her mane expanded and bounced out and the smell of cotton candy filled the air. Pinkie did something she hadn't done since that day of the rainbow explosion.

She laughed

*

Modern day Pinkie rubbed her head thoughtfully. She needed to get her hands on more of that medication or all her days would become dull and lifeless like it once was. She still had a bit of after effects after using the pills for so long. She would have to hurry to the hospital near her old home/rock farm. She walked forwards and tripped over a ribbon that was just lying on the floor. She was sure she had a plan as for why it was on the floor, but in this state nothing she had done made sense.

Then she remembered. Dash's party. She groaned and rested her head on the floor. This was not going to be a good day at all.

Preparations and Work (as well as other mindlessly dull and boring activities)

Preparations and Work (as well as other mindlessly dull and boring activities)

[sorry for the wait. I had a brief case of writers block and still on holiday which makes it harder to concentrate on this. I apologise if there are too many errors, I work best when tired for some reason and do try to fix mistakes the next day. If you liked it, please like it. if you want to read more, favorite it. And of course if you have any opinions or suggestions or whatever please comment. Anyways, enjoy!]

Pinkie dragged herself over to the mirror and stared into it. A dark pink, almost approaching purple, mare glared back. Her mane came long and straight down the sides of her head and covered one eye. She gave a quick puff of air and the strands of her mane drifted away for a second, reveling a dull blue eye which was soon covered once more by the floating hair. She let out a frustrated groan and studied herself carefully.

She won't be able to get out of town without being seen, so she will have to try and disguise herself as...herself. Anyway, it was the mane that really gave her away. She gathered it up in one hoof and pushed it to the top of her head, where it promptly fell back down.

She sat down and put a hoof to her head. She was going to have to really concentrate now. She thought back to yesterday. She pushed through the memories of candy and sunshine to get to the heart of the matter.

Yesterday morning. Waking up. Getting pill. Stabbing lights and wonderful smelling colours. Focus. Jumping out of bed. Disappearing...under the bed? What the hell?

She shook her head and thought again. She slid under the bed. The mattress whizzed past...and then she was flying out of her cupboard? This was worst than she thought. She was completely INSANE!

She needed more of it!

She didn't suffer from insanity, she enjoyed every minute of it!

Pinkie shook her head. This was not good.

*

Pinkie poked her head out of the doorway. Her mane was stuck up in it's usually position and bounced around above her head. She had to improvise and so used the thing closest to what her mane usually looked like...and smelt

She had, waxed, her mane with cotton candy.

It had taken ten minutes to wash her hoofs clean after they had been stuck together by the cotton candy. And now her mane was sticky and irritating.

All clear. She slowly tip toed out of her room and down the corridor. She had two obstacles to avoid, and by obstacles she meant ponies. Mr and Mrs Cake. Yesterday she had promised to help them finish the order for Fancy Pants' party. And baking was work.

When she thought of work all she could see was an all consuming pit of darkness and boredom.

Possibly a bit melodramatic but work just seemed so boring and pointless to her. She just wanted to go back to sleep.

A few slight creaks, but nothing obvious. She sighed in relief. Hopefully they would be too busy baking to notice....

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Pinkie shuddered and looked left. Through the doorway she could see the twins, sitting in their crib, bawling their eyes out and frantically waving in her direction.

Right there and then, she considered crying.

"Nononononono! Please, be quiet. Stop crying. I beg of you." And so the display of which would make even Fluttershy proud poured from her mouth in the desperate attempt to cease the wailing. It was all for naught as she heard a voice from downstairs.

"Pinkie is that you? Could you please sort the twins out and then come down and help us?" The unmistakable voice of Mrs Cake cut through the cries.

A single tear slipped it's way down her face. If looks could kill the twins would now be separated into mere atoms by the inferno that shone from Pinkie's eyes. Pumpkin Cake burbled at Pinkie's expression and giggled. Pound Cake was nibbling at a wooden block without a care in the world. But at least they were silent now.

*

As soon as her hoof hit the bottom step Mrs Cake appeared and grinned.

"Ah Pinkie! Glad to see you're up now. Can you please go help my husband with the...are you alright?" She finished of as a question.

Pinkie panicked. She had zoned out for a second.

She gave a grimace, or at least what she thought was a smile. "Oh, uhhh....i was thinking about....CUPCAKES! Yes, cupcakes! I was thinking about sugar, dough, frosting..." She had to stop before she gagged. That much sweetness would just be disgusting.

Mrs Cake struggled to keep her own smile at this creepy display. "Of course dear. Well then, once you've done that you can help Carrot with the cake for Fancy. Then you can finish the cake for your friend."

Pinkie gave another strained smile as she died inside "Of course"

Pinkie walked through into the kitchen where she battered into submission by the overwhelming smells. She put one hoof to her face, first to prevent the bile and second to try and block out any more.

This was just too much for her raw system to take without the pill. Through squinting eyes she saw the outline of Mr Cake already at work. She sighed and moved over to join him.

*

"We made it *BANG* Good evening mares and gentlecolts. We are tonights, entertainment!" The voice whispered into her ears. She watched on the small screen as the Joker held everypony hostage at the party.

This sort of activity is generally frowned upon in the work place. Which is why pinkie had sneaked away under the table to avoid work. It wasn't as if she found even this terribly exciting, watching the Dark Mare Rises again, but it sure beat the hell out of work.

"I only have one question, where is Hooves Dent?" Joker demanded from the assembled ponies

"I only have one question, why are you watching this instead of helping me?" A new voice appeared, taking the place of one ear piece.

Pinkie stifled a shriek and very nearly slammed her head against the table in her attempt to recover from the unexpected surprise.

"Ah,Mr Cake! I was um...you see...I dropped some icing and was cleaning it up! Yes, that was it."

Mr Cake sighed "I've been watching you today Pinkie. You have no motivation or energy and do the bare minimum to finish as quickly as possible. Are you alright?"

Aha! An excuse! Illness instead of work. If she could just convince him that she wasn't feeling great today maybe he'll let her off and she could get some more tablets in the meantime. Then no doubt she would happily come back and finish whatever work needs doing.

Pinkie gave a small cough "Well I haven't been very well today. I'm extremely tired. I just didn't want to be a burden" She looked up with eyes as large as saucers. There's an excuse for not mentioning it earlier, perfect!

Mr Cake gave a warm smile "Of course then Pinkie. Don't worry about it. I think i'll manage the rest of the order by myself. But first I'll help you get the cake to the party, it's starting soon isn't it?"

Pinkie did a double take and glanced down at her P-phone. 3:45. The party was in 45 minutes. If she still wanted friends she would have to do the party. And she won't be able to get the pills before hoof....

Well fu...

The party

Bleaugh. It's done. Believe it or not I actually finished. I'm not paid enough for this. Whatever, just read and enjoy. I know you all probably hate me, and I'm sorry for that. I hope you can forgive me after reading this.

Pinkie dragged herself over to the far side of the room where she dumped the bowl of punch. Subconsciously she pulled a ladle out of her mane and deposited it into the bowl before turning around to admire the room.

A banner stretched its way across the ceiling of Sugar Cube Corner proudly displaying 'WELL DONE DASHIE'. She had of course used her pet name, that would be expected of her. Balloons stared down at her with their faceless surfaces, mocking her with their false promise of enjoyment. Ribbons lay scattered around in a careful display of chaos which enhanced the colour scheme and emphasized the grand cake in the centre of the room.

It stood tall with seven tiers of chocolaty, vanillia, strawberry, carrot, blueberry, chili (she had made that tier yesterday, what in Equestria was she thinking?) and Dash's favorite, daffodils. Not that she would ever admit to something so soft and girly being it, but Pinkie knew, she always knew. It was hard to explain. It just felt, right. Must be some sort of side effect to the pills.

Mental analysis over she re-examined the cake. She had used food coloring to change the cake into a rainbow. She murmured the sentence for remembering the colours of the rainbow "Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain"

There was only bit she was not too happy with, and that was the little clouds and red thunderbolts that were made of frosting which covered the cake. Even she could see that they were a bit shoddily made but she was having a hard time to convince herself to do something about it. The conversation went something like this

We need to make it perfect for our friend Rainbow Dash

...effort....

This is important to her

...effort...

It will only take a few minutes

...effort...

You want to still have friends don't you

...effort...

She had to admit, she made a good point. And with that she collapsed on the sofa, determined not to do anything requiring movement until the first guest had arrived.

Knock Knock

Pinkie's eye twitched and she waved her hoof in the air, cursing whatever deity that affected her life.

She couldn't see it but she knew. She could just feel it. She narrowed her eyes as she felt the deity laugh at her.

*

A far far way away, in the mighty city of Canterlot stood a castle. At one of the two highest towers stood a Princess. A white Alicorn with a long flowing mane which resembled both the sunset and sunrise and all the good of a day including green grass and colourful flowers. She turned her head slightly and chuckled before returning to work.

*

She trudged over to the door with her best smile. As she opened it Twilight burst through giggling like a little filly. Pinkie rolled her eyes and tried to summon some enthusiasm but failed. Luckily Twilight was so focused on the mischief of jumping out at a surprise party that she failed to notice Pinkie's flat look.

"Ohh I can't wait to see her face." She whispered to Pinkie

Pinkie shook her head "Why are you whispering? She's not even here yet!"

Twilight, still failing to look up from her hooves, whispered back "Yes, but this feels like a really cheeky thing to do to somepony and i feel so excited"

Pinkie face hoofed. Twilight really needed to get out more and be more sociable if she thought that was was 'cheeky' thing to do. Further debate of the matter was interrupted by her tail twitching.

What did that mean again? Something about doors...

At that the door swung open, knocking Twilight to one side as an orange mare stood in the doorway, tipping her hat before coming in carefully. As the door swung shut behind her Twilight came with it, crushed into the very door itself. Applejack turned around and smiled sheepishly

"Sorry about that Twi, didn't...er...see you there?" She rubbed her head awkwardly with one hoof while Twilight slowly prised her self clear.

She wobbled from side to side "It's alright all five Applejacks"

"Er, there's one of me sugar cube..."

"Oh...right"

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief. Now they could socialise with each other while she snuck off.........

...

...

...

...

Oh, thats usually when she was usually interrupted by-

Knock Knock

Of course, why not?

"I'm he-re!" Came a sing song voice from outside. Only Rarity would be so over the top about her arrival. Pinkie opened the door to reveal the marshmallow pony before her. Marshmallow? Where had that come from, she clearly wasn't a marshmallow, except maybe in colour, and maybe taste? But this was neither the time nor the place. Especially as Rarity started screaming

"Oh my Pinkie! What in Equestria have you done with your mane!? Oh my, its simply an insult against all that is fashionable. Candy floss!? What were you thinking?"

This can not end well. She saw her horn light up. Is she...? No....She wouldn't........OH SWEET CELESTIA AND ALL GOOD THINGS LUNA PUTS IN THE NIGHT SKY SHE WOULD!!!!

*

Knock knock

"Get off me! You can't be serious Rarity? Bleaugh. Yes you are serious..."

Knock Knock

"Twilight! I swear on Celestia's mane I will make you pay for this! MY DAY OF RECKONING WILL COME!"

Knock Knock

"Applejack? Seriously!? Come on. Two was harsh enough but blub blub blub! BLUB BLUB BLUB!

Knock Knock

"Why do you even carry shampoo? Do you do this on a regular basis or something? Some innocent pony is just walking down a dark alleyway. Looks up to see the silhouette of another pony. 'Who is it?' She cries fearfully. Then you're cruel evil face enters the light. 'Hello poor innocent pony. I am here.....TO WASH YOUR HAIR' and then just violently...."

Crash

As one they all turn to see a embarrassed Fluttershy try to put the door back into place. She looked over at them and gasped. Causing Rarity to drop her telekinetic field and drop Pinkie unceremoniously to the floor.

In all fairness it was ranked number three on most random things for somepony to have walked in on. Number two involved a lot of alcohol, a pinata, an orangutan and fifteen balloons.

Number one saw a certain royal guard walking in on a certain night princess with a certain statue.

As Fluttershy broke through the door she was greeted with the sight of an alarmed pink friend being dumped repeatably into a large bathtub filled with bubbly water, which Applejack rubbed furiously into her mane every time she came up gasping for breath. Only to be shortly dragged back under the water by the combined powers of Twilight and Rarity. Applejack was doing her best to keep the shampoo well away from her own mane but still take part in the torturing.

"Oh my...I thought you said to come at quarter past four. I'm so sorry. I'll just go and come back later...if thats okay with you..."

"Oh Fluttershy dear do come in. We were simply making Pinkie more...presentable for the party" Rarity spoke soothingly

"This isn't about presentation! This is assault! This is a breach of my rights! This is-" Pinkie retorted and was cut off by another good dunking.

"Oh you guys crack me up! This has to be the best surprise ever!"

silence.

OH SHI-

Rarity was the first to recover "Rainbow Dash dear, what are you doing here? And so early." She put extra emphasis on the last part with one eyebrow raised.

Rainbow Dash was too busy giggling on the floor at the sight to pay attention to what Rarity was saying. Applejack splashed water over onto Twilight while she, laughing collected some up in a purple aura and chucked some back. Fluttershy had retreated into a nice dark corner.

Pinkie watched from afar, with a growing feeling of discomfort. She felt no joy for seeing her friends, only humiliation and the sheer boredom of having to go through this stupid party for her 'friend'

Celestia have mercy life was difficult like this. How does every pony stand it? The indecision, the unknown, all the conflicting ideas and emotions! Life used to be simple. She would know exactly what to do at exactly the right time. All her actions, including the impossible or doomed to fail, just...worked. Even if at first it seemed to go wrong, in the end it all worked out. She could do whatever she wanted just by wishing. Make friends? Party popped into mind, cake was baked in a flash (an impossible thing which made no sense) and all the equipment for the party came from nowhere (another impossible thing!).

And soon she was friends with everypony, the only thing she ever wanted. For so long she had waded through the dark depression of each day, only to find the shining light of the pills. And now that her eyes had been filled with such wonders, she was cast back to wander in darkness. In the land of the blind, the one eyed pony is the Princess. And she was deaf, dumb and blind. She had nothing to counter it, no emotions ordinary ponies had to deal with it

"shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

SHUT UP!" Pinkie screamed "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

Everypony stared at her in shock. A pin was heard dropping somewhere.

Pinkies sopping wet hair hung down around her face, masking it in shadows. Through the darkness the only sight was the silvery white of her teeth grinding together. She stood there glaring at all of them. How dare they. Humiliate and then laugh at her! What was she she? Their own private laughing stock?

She was unaware of it, but by the light coming in she appeared to be of an unwelcome grey colour.

For once Twilight was the first to react, her eyes narrowing in fury and magical flames began to simmer in her mane. "Discord!" She bellowed "SHOW YOURSELF!"

Everypony else stared at her in surprise, until they noted the darkened fur, the hatred of being laughed at and the loathing in her eyes. That could only mean one thing....

"Shes been Discorded!" Yelled Rainbow Dash zipping forwards and tackling Pinkie into the table with the cake on it, which soon came crashing down on top of them.

"The hay you talking about?" Pinkie spat out at the Pegasus on top of her. Rainbow Dash said nothing but tightened her hold on the pinkish mare.

Fluttershy popped her head over the ruined mess and looked down, wincing slightly. "Just relax Pinkie, we'll save you soon enough. Then we can go back to that party, wouldn't that be nice" She smiled sweetly, trying to coax the old Pinkie out. But Pinkie was having none of it. She was sick at pretending to be cheerful

"I'd sooner eat rusty nails than be with you all for a second more!" Pinkie growled sending Fluttershy scuttling away. That felt better. Letting the rage and bile spill out for once, not that she usually felt like this on the pill. Let's face it, she reasoned to herself, having only happy emotions for so many years has actually just made me bitter and depressed right now and I really really can't be bothered right now to keep any friends, I'll get more pills eventually and sort everything out

Twilight came into view horn glowing bright purple. "Don't worry Pinkie, I'll remind you of our friendship." And moved her head downwards.

"No!" Pinkie squealed childishly "NO! NO! NO! ME NO WANT! ME NO WANT!"

Twilight continued regardless and the tip of the horn gently pressed to Pinkie's head, and a warm glow of magic filled her and she remembered all the time she had spent with her friends, how they laughed and cried, and how they played and talked, she felt her entire wonderful life flash through before her eyes...

Twilight moved back and looked down at her pink friend, waiting for the outburst. Pinkie opened her shining blue eyes and looked up at Twilight. The light was now clearly shinning on her again and she seemed as bright pink as she ever was.

Her eyes met Twilight, and grew cold. Her hair flopped down to either side of her face as the magic faded and a growl emanated her from her.

"My whole...life...all of it...IT WAS SO BUCKING BORING! EVERYTHING IS SO...BORING! WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT. I'M NOT 'DISCORDED' MORON!" She spat cruelly at Rainbow Dash who stared at her in shock

Pinkie stood there, panting, her eyes glared at them. They all turned to one another, and nodded.

Twilight stepped forward confidently "We know what we have to do PInkie-"

"Leave me alone?" Pinkie cut in

Twilight shook her head "No, Elements! TOGETHER!" At once they all jumped right next to Twilight and activated their elements.

Pinkie sighed and sat down, accepting her fate. She was tired. She just wanted to go to sleep. She curled up on the floor and bright sparkling amulets appeared at the necks of all her friends. It was an incomplete circle, with one missing, but seeing as she was the one they were using it on it would still complete the 'connection' and then be focused on her. Fun.

They were lifted up into the air, defying gravity as powerful arcane magic took a hold of them and flowed, using Twilight as the connector and turning her eyes bright white. However this time it took a different form, instead of the usual rainbow cannon of doom, at least that was what she called it, it came out as bubbles.

Bubbles sprayed out from the five friends at the sixth one one who was spinning round in the air rather uncomfortably. They massed around her, glowing many different colours until she was lost in the froth of bubbles. Slowly the onslaught drew to a halt and the five friends gently descended to the ground.

POP

At once all the different multi-coloured bubbles of light vanished leaving a pleasant scent of a fresh summer's day. As they burst a pink form fell to the ground.

At once, pure joyous laughter erupted from it. Fluttershy gave a big cheesy grin and something went 'squue'. Rarity gave a poilite nod and dusted herself off. Rainbow Dash offering a high hoof to anyone who would accept it ended up flying and doing it herself. Applejack took off her hat and wiped her forehead, betraying just how worried for Pinkie she really was. Twilight smiled and looked around before approaching Pinkie

Pinkie lay there on the floor, pointing up at the ceiling and laughing again, her mane bounced up all over the place and her grin stretched across her whole face. It was so funny. Everything is so...FUNNY!

Funny Funny Funny

Hehehe

Hahaha

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