"A Disgrace To Yaks Everywhere!'

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Yona, Alternate Universe, Prince Rutherford, Main 6, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Sandbar
Length: 2333

In this Alternate version of She's All Yak, Prince Rutherford turns up as a special visitor to the party just as the new-look Yona makes an appearance. What do you think his reaction will be? Clue: not great.

In this alternate version of She's All Yak, Prince Rutherford turns up as a special visitor to the party just as the new-look Yona makes an appearance. What do you think his reaction will be? Clue: not great.

Published 2019-07-06 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-06 16:10:01 UTC

A Surprise Guest

As the new and 'improved' Yona stepped daintily into the School of Friendship for the Amity Ball, the reactions from the other attendees who witnessed her entrance were somewhat mixed.

Her closest friends, her fellow classmates at the school, could barely hide their amusement (with the notable exception of a certain green stallion) at the large bovine's ill-fitting dress and oversized purple wig, which made her resemble a yakified version of Headmare Twilight.

As for the alicorn and the rest of the teachers, it was mostly their hoofiwork which had led to Yona's radical makeover in the first place. So, unaware of the muffled snickers erupting everywhere else, they seemed pretty pleased at witnessing their 'final product' tread inside.

Truth be told, it was mainly the other five who'd overseen her unprecedented transformation, but before beginning the process they'd tacitly received Twilight's blessing to assist Yona 'in any way they could' after the mares had explained the importance of the situation.

Twilight just hadn't anticipated just how far they'd take the idea, that's all.

"U-Um, it's great to see you, Yona." Twilight tried keeping her surprise in check whilst the rest of her friends beamed supportively beside her. "So, you decided to go for a whole new look for the dance? What an... interesting choice. I guess the rest of the staff helped you put it all together?"

"Indeed they did." Yona had apparently taken elocution lessons as well, as her habit of referring to herself as a separate creature was nowhere to be heard. "And may I just say Princess, it is a true honour to be present tonight at this magnificent social occasion. Now, let us make hay to the dancefloor, as one wishes to demonstrate their prowess at the fine art of moving elegantly."

"E-Er, yes of course." Twilight flustered noticeably, despite her best efforts. This posh accent from the yak was going to take some getting used to. "Sandbar here has been waiting for you since the start of the dance, and I hope the two of you have a lovely evening. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need a quick lie-down. I appear to have developed 'Headmare Migraines', one of the hazards of the job. Yes, it's a 'thing'. Look it up, if you don't believe me..."

Fortunately, everyone was too busy preparing for the big jamboree and so had no time to call Twilight's bluff by wading through her impressive selection of medical tomes. For if they did, they might've just discovered the existence of said malady was somewhat over-exaggerated.

Or, to be blunt, it never existed in the first place.

Regardless, the party continued with the temporary absence of it's host, and followed by the not-so-subtle encouragement of the other teachers, Yona wandered over to meet Sandbar face-to-face.

The gobsmacked stallion was still coming to terms with the yak's unfamiliar appearance and peculiar mannerisms, and could only stare straight ahead dumbfounded as Yona demonstrated once more the fruits of her instructors' labours.

"Greetings Mr Sandbar, lovely day we're having, isn't it?" Yona fluttered her false eyelashes coquettishly upon saying this, despite the fact it was pitch black outside. "Would you care to be a gentlecolt and accompany me to the dance? I so wish to demonstrate everything I've learned since deciding to upgrade my image. After all, destructive impulses and yak coats are so yesterday, wouldn't you say?"

"I-If you say so, Yona..." Sandbar gulped audibly at his friend's strange demeanour, possibly wishing he could join Twilight in solitude with a cold facecloth on his brow. "You didn't have to go to so much trouble for me, you know. I was just fine with just the way you were before, or I wouldn't have asked you out in the beginning."

"Oh, tish-tosh!" Yona let out a 'sophisticated' chuckle at this juncture, finally revealing she was less an untrimmed Twilight now, and more a younger, physically imposing Rarity. "Now, let us make haste to where the DJ is playing some 'hot beats'. I wish to 'get my groove on' and 'bust a move' before the night is through. I-If that okay with Sandbar, of course..."

Yona's new persona cracked a little under pressure then, but all it took was a stern 'you got this, girl' look from her makeover tutors to get things back on track.

Without waiting for anything else to go wrong, the resolute Yak grabbed Sandbar by the hoof and proceeded to almost drag him to the dancing area.

She'd worked hard all week not to embarrass herself at this pony festival, and as sure as yaks enjoyed the soothing tones of the yovidaphone she wasn't about to let it all crumble just because of her ineptness at small talk.

"Y-Yona, you're hurting my hoof!" Sandbar struggled to cope with the superior strength of the anxious yak, as his strained limb was almost yoinked out of its socket.

"Oops, sorry Sandbar, Yona just nervous." Out of concern for the stallion, Yona stopped briefly to apologise profusely... before once again, her natural inflection kicked in. "I-I mean, my most humble regrets at being too brusque with you, my dear Sandbar. As I should have recalled, it is mainly the gentlecolt's duty to lead the lady into the soiree. Would you care to escort me there yourself? A-And would you like a glass of punch?"

"Yona, you don't have to try so..." Sandbar began to speak, but stopped halfway through his planned sentence as an officious-looking mare approached the milling crowd to clear her throat, before gingerly unfurling a tightly-wrapped scroll.

You see, with all the party-organising, food-ordering, music-selecting and near-nervous-breakdowns that'd been going on in preparation for this big event, Twilight had plum forgotten to inform Yona and everyone else about a very special visitor dropping by for this most special of occasions. The identity of whom was about to be revealed...

"Presenting, Prince Rutherford of Yakyakisthan!" The messenger simply bowed courteously before exiting, as the aforementioned leader of the Yak Nation came shambling in to eye with bemusement the weird fashions and frivolities of this unfamiliar ritual.

"Hmm, Pony Princess supposed to meet yak here, wonder where she could be..." Rutherford snorted with annoyance, whilst scanning the richly decorated room. "Yak want appeal of this 'Amity Ball' thing explained, because he not seeing it. Too much colour, too much prancing, not enough mindless destruction. Give yak nice heap of stuff to stomp on, that enough for good time. While waiting, yak see how transfer student getting on."

The prince began selectively looking at each guest in turn to find the representative of his fair land, perhaps thinking that an almighty bovine's cranium would stand out a mile in a crowd full of weaker equines and other smaller creatures.

If that was Rutherford's plan however, then he was about to be disappointed, as there was no sign of the telltale horns and shaggy neck fur for which his kind was known for.

In fact, the only big heads the confused yak could spot within the amassed throng were the reptilian DJ, who wore the most ridiculously bulky war helmet he'd ever seen, and the topmost part of a bizarre beast the likes of which he'd never witnessed before.

"Look at fake synthetic hair, and awful flowery gown of strange creature. What kids get up to nowadays, yak not know." Rutherford sighed in despair at the state of today's youth. "Yaks too proud a species to fall prey to such stupid fads. Now where find Yona, so can tell honoured student to steer clear of bad influences, like disgraceful show-off over there..."

"Greetings, my Prince! For what do we have the pleasure of your company today? It is most delightful to see you! Would you care to sample a cheesy niblet?"

W-What the... no it couldn't be! The shamefully overdressed bohemian Rutherford had internally mocked was even now walking delicately over to him, grinning with a faux-chic accent. Though it was hard to tell at first glance, there was no mistaking those brownish eyes, the huge feet and the tufted tail which stuck out from the back of her monstrous outfit.

Although there were many different things the flabbergasted prince would've liked to say at this time, including at least a few dozen yak swear words only Yona could interpret, he remained stock-still out of sheer shock. "C-Cheesy n-niblets?!" was about all he could utter, as his befuddled brain did virtual somersaults in his skull.

"Indeed! They are most simply divine!" Yona smacked her lips together with glee, whilst the rest of the guests nearby (sans Sandbar) slowly began backing away. Yaks were notorious for their fiery tempers, and sensing something brewing here, they decided it was best to take precautions. "Then afterwards, shall we retire to the dancehall, where we may partake of some of the local customs, including the 'Pony Prance' and the 'Pony Cotillion'? I've been acquiring knowledge of them all week, and they're so much more sophisticated than that barbaric 'Yakyakistan Stomp' I did before!"

"B-Barbaric?! Y-Yakyakistan Stomp?!" Rutherford's currently frozen form appeared to be rapidly defrosting, if the steam coming from his nostrils and his quiveringly angry form were anything to go by.

"Really darling, you mustn't repeat back everything I say like that! After all, we're not parrots!" Yona began to chuckle amiably again, but stopped when she finally saw just how apoplectic the Chief Yak appeared... like a volcano ready to erupt. "U-Um, is fellow yak okay? Prince Rutherford seem upset about something."

"What going on around here?!" Rutherford finally exploded with rage, which funnily enough coincided with the music screeching to a halt and every single pair of eyes falling on him. "Yak girl put on clothes, wig and makeup to pretend to be something she not, and badmouth proud national Yakyakistan dance? Where your accent? Your dignity? Your pride at being yak?! If this is what spending time in foreign land does to yaks, maybe renew previous policy of isolation from the world..."

"Nnnooo!" It was at this point that all sign of the new 'refined' Yona vanished from view, as the panicky yak tore off her frock and wig to reveal her true original self. "Yona sorry she disrespect yak culture by doing this. She just want to fit in to feel more at home in school, because she invited tonight by fellow student Sandbar. He very nice stallion, and Yona felt like trying best to impress him by acting like pony for dance. Please don't send Yona back to Yakyakistan! She love it at School of Friendship, and feel like she learn a lot here."

"Does Yona mean she did this... for boy?" Rutherford seemed to be calm down a little now, as his gaze turned to a sheepishly waving Sandbar clinging to Yona's side. "Hmm. Yak know what that is like. He make complete fool of self trying to charm wife, he surprised she didn't just laugh him out of town. In the end, yak understood that he didn't have to be any yak else, just himself. And if that isn't good enough for them, maybe partnership not destined to be after all."

Having seen the prince become a bit more relaxed, Sandbar finally plucked up the strength to step forward to address him in what he hoped was a respectful tone. "S-Sir, if I had any idea Yona was going to this kind of trouble for me, I would've put a stop to it right away. The fact is, I like her for the wonderful, kind, generous yak she is... which is why I invited her in the first place. It wasn't my wish for her to change her appearance and personality so much. I don't like telling tales, and they might have done it with the best of intentions, but from what I hear I think it's mostly those five who 'trained' her. Maybe have a word with them, as to how they convinced her this was a good idea?"

"Hmm. Yak just might do that later on." Rutherford cast a disparaging eye at Rarity and her fellow 'stylists', who felt a slow sense of dawning that they'd done boobed. "For now though, yak want to sample pony cuisine and watch ponies dance, even if not as fun or destructive as Yakyakisthan parties. Yona right: Sandbar seem like nice pony. Head Yak formally approve of relationship. Get marriage contract signed in morning for future nuptials when older. Hope Sandbar does decide to go through with it, as consequences for changing mind are most severe."

"M-Marriage c-contract?" Now it was Sandbar's turn to stammer incoherently, and he began to wonder if he'd missed something somewhere. "L-Listen S-Sir, I apologise if my feelings towards Yona have been misunderstood, because I honestly only see her as a f-frien..."

"Got you!! You right what you said in letters Yona, ponies so gullible!" Rutherford unexpectedly began yukking it up, along with a tittering Yona in the background. "Still, who knows what the future holds, eh? Now show yak where 'cheesy niblets' are stored. Yak wishes to see if taste better than vile self-made cheese in Yakyakistan. If does, then maybe steal recipe. Be much more comfortable, as well."

So it was, as the music selection restarted and Rutherford stepped forward with a blushing Sandbar and a grinning (finally free to be herself) Yona linked hoof-in-hoof, it was up to the remaining five mares to draw short straws.

After all, somepony had to inform Twilight upstairs just how close they were to starting an international incident. Hopefully, someone with tact, restraint, wisdom...

Pinkie Pie 'won'. Uh oh.

Author's Note

After rewatching the episode 'She's All Yak', I had a thought: What would happen if Prince Rutherford turned up at the dance, just as the new look Yona was revealed? This is my take on that possible occurrence. Hope you enjoyed it, and please comment below if you want to. :twilightsheepish: