PONEST DUNGEON

Arc 2: Month of Madness

Chapter 1: Astrological Apotheosis

Week 20, Day 4, Morning

Blueblood stood at the head of the drawing room table, foregoing the comfort of the cushioned chair that he normally indulged in. Despite knowing he looked as disheveled as he felt, his eyes were sharp as he surveyed all of the company members, who easily fit inside the massive room. Seated to his left were Shining, Rainbow, Twilight, Snails, and the Apples. Tempest stood immediately to his right, her preference for standing precluding her from taking a chair. To her right sat Zecora, Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, Vinyl, and Rarity. Even Starlight had deigned to join them for the first time since her sight was taken, sitting next to the Apples.

“Yesterday,” Blueblood said in an angry tone, before taking a breath to even out his voice. “The events of yesterday have steeled my resolve that our mission here is both just and necessary.” He paused for a moment and forced himself to take a few more slow breaths. “We lost four of Canterlot’s finest warriors to the Ponest Dungeon, as well as dozens of townsfolk and potential recruits to an attack from a deranged cult. I believe that it is no coincidence that these events happened at the same time.”

The proclamation elicited a series of gasps from several of the seated ponies.

“The most troubling thing about the cult,” Blueblood said, “is that I’ve been able to personally identify most of the attackers with intact faces—”

“They’re Canterlot nobility?” Twilight asked.

“Not exactly, Twilight,” Blueblood replied. “While some are indeed nobles, there is one thing that they all definitely have in common: they’re all members of the Canterlot Astrological Society.”

There were more startled horse-noises from around the table. Ditzy fainted.

“It’s my belief,” Blueblood said over the rising clamor, “that they are none other than the members of the Society who were recently reported as missing.”

“Wait a minute,” Rainbow said. “I thought there were like, a hundred and fifty of them?”

“A hundred and forty-two,” Blueblood said. “And we only found twenty-four of them in the aftermath of the tavern bloodbath.”

“That means,” said Shining, “that there’s still over a hundred of them out there.” He looked worriedly at the others. “There’s only seventeen members in the company; they outnumber us more than seven to one.”

The sudden panicked commotion at the table was interrupted by Tempest slamming her hoof down, cracking a floorboard. “Your worry is unfounded,” she boomed at the others. “Seven ponies were able to dispatch all twenty-four of the assailants with nary a scratch between them. Taking into account that two of those ponies were civilians, it should be pretty obvious that these cultists are about as skilled at combat as you would expect your average astrologer to be.”

“Tempest is right,” Blueblood said. “The only reason they managed to kill anypony at all was because they ambushed a bunch of unprepared mercenaries and unarmed civilians in the darkness of the eclipse. Once Starlight here, her little band of mercenaries, and the bar staff started fighting back, the cultists were defeated swiftly.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Starlight’s what?”

“Long story,” Starlight said with a dismissive hoof-wave. “But Blueblood will give you—”

“The short version,” Blueblood said, “is that our blind seer here did some off-the-books recruiting, and luck placed her and four skilled fighters in the tavern during the attack. This doubtlessly saved the lives of Berry, her remaining staff, and several patrons. Their heroics have earned them formal interviews for the company. I’ll conduct those later.”

Placing both forehooves on the table, Blueblood leaned forward. “That brings us to twenty-one members, including Ametrine, Ditzy and myself. But I’ll be blunt: it’s not enough for us to just have the numbers. We have to learn from these setbacks or we’ll be doomed to repeat them.

“So,” Blueblood continued, “let’s go over the issues that led to this catastrophe. First, the weapons that the Canterlot elite team brought with them were wholly ineffective. Second, everypony on the team committed irrational actions that either directly or indirectly contributed to the expediency of their deaths. Lastly, to address the issues in town: we had nopony watching the hamlet.”

“Well,” Twilight said, “we already have Trixie working on the equipment end of things.”

“Unfortunately,” Blueblood said, “seeing as how Trixie has yet to produce even a single shard-based item for us, I have little faith in her ability to produce sufficient quantities of weaponry and armor to equip even one pony, less so all of our current company members, and much less any more we hire on.”

“If it’s a shard supply issue, we could always go get more of those comet shards,” Lyra piped in.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Twilight said. “Last time we went to Sweet Apple Acres… with the way space and time are twisted there, I don’t even know how we managed to make it back alive.”

“There is a blacksmith in town,” Shining stated. “Rivet’s Metalworking.”

Tempest’s eyes shot to Shining when he said the name. “The Blacksmith’s name is Rivet then.”

“That’s right,” Blueblood said. “We’ll check with Rivet; maybe he’ll be able to figure out what went wrong with the Canterlot team’s equipment, and if he’s sufficiently skilled, we can find a way to correct the issues, or flat out replace what we need to. And I suppose if Trixie finally starts coming through for us with her promised shard-forging, then more expeditions to the farm may be warranted.”

“As far as the second item,” Blueblood said, looking around at the others. “I know it’s hard to predict how a pony will react in certain situations, but there has to be a way to at least lessen the chances of somepony breaking under mission pressure.”

“I recommend two things,” Tempest said. “First: discipline and combat training.” Her eyes pierced each of those sitting at the table. “Second: exposure.”

“So you’re saying,” Applejack drawled, “that we need to expose ourselves to horrors if we’re gonna be up and fighting them?”

“It would be in controlled circumstances,” Blueblood said.

Applejack canted her head precariously. “Controlled how, exactly?”

“He probably wants to ‘use’ me,” Ametrine drawled back, in an eerily perfect imitation of Applejack's voice.

Applejack’s eyes widened and her brows threatened to rise up off of her head.

Narrowing his eyes disapprovingly at Ametrine, Blueblood nodded. “Not just you though,” he said. “Octavia, Lyra; both of you also have the ability to turn into things that are, quite frankly, terrifying. I think between the three of you, we can expose members of the company to enough monstrosity to desensitize them to it.”

“Or cause them to have a psychological breakdown,” Tempest said plainly. All the gathered ponies turned to stare at her. “Either way, we will know who we can and cannot send into the field.”

“We’ll try to avoid breakdowns,” Blueblood said quickly. “Finally, on the last item, we’re going to have a rotating watch on the town. I’m going to break us down into groups of four. It’s not going to be a difficult detail, and I don’t expect you to do even basic law enforcement. You’ll just hang out around town, keep an eye out for anypony suspicious, and report them to me here immediately.

“And on a final note,” Blueblood said with a brief glance towards Rainbow Dash. “This manor is now officially dry. No alcohol of any form is to be kept on the premises.”

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash jumped from her seat and hovered over the table, throwing all four of her legs out in protest.

“Dash,” Shining said, pulling Rainbow back into her seat with his magic. “Let him explain first.” He looked towards Blueblood. “There is an explanation, right?”

“Yes,” Blueblood replied in a weary tone. “The explanation is that it’s my fault. I’ve just sworn off drinking.” He sighed heavily. “Those of you who know me, and even those of you who are fairly new, know of my excessive drinking habits. And the undeniable fact is that if there is any alcohol in the townhouse, I will inevitably find and consume it.”

“But—” Rainbow sputtered.

“You may satisfy your own urges at the tavern,” Blueblood said. “Rainbow, I don’t care how you—” he turned to address the whole table “—or anypony else chooses to unwind, just so long as no alcohol makes it back to the manor. If I’m going to run this company properly, I can’t be constantly slammed off my flank. I’ll apologize for my general irritability in advance; Harmony knows drinking is how I de-stress.”

“Any other business?” Blueblood asked the table as he lowered his forehooves back to the floor. When he received no response, he nodded. “Ok, let’s talk about the town patrol groups.”

Week 20, Day 4, Evening

“All I’m saying,” Rainbow shouted despite the diminished noise of Berry’s only half-full tavern, “is that I think he’s letting this place get to him.”

“You’re just saying that because you can’t bring cider back to the manor anymore,” Shining retorted.

“C’mon,” Dash said, turning to the others who had gathered with them, “back me up here!”

“My opinion matters not,” Zecora said. “For it is you who is deprived of draught.”

“Back me up here Snails!” Rainbow turned to where Snails normally sat. “Uhh, right, he’s not here. Where is he anyway? He’s like… always in here.”

Everypony else at the table shrugged.

“How about you, egg—I mean Twilight?” Rainbow looked on with pleading eyes.

Twilight tentatively sipped at a glass of sarsaparilla. “I don’t drink, it’s bad for you. I’m just here because you all asked me to come.”

Dash pulled down on her cheeks with her forehooves as she slumped onto the bar. “Ugh! You’re all impossible!”

“Hello everypony,” Starlight said as she approached the group.

Shining pushed a chair out from the table. “Want to have a seat?”

Starlight shook her head “I’m afraid I’m not really welcome in the establishment at the moment.” She gestured to the bar, where Berry was giving her the stink-eye. “But if you could, please give this to Aloe when she refills your drinks.” An envelope floated from Starlight’s saddlebags to the table.

“H-hello,” Aloe said to the darkness of the alleyway she faced. “Is anypony there?” A slight breeze caused her fur to stand on end. She looked at the letter again to make sure she was in the right place. Her eyes darted around from shadow to shadow, one imagined threat to another, in building panic. Where are they? was all her frightened mind could think to ask.

“Over here,” a voice whispered from the tenebrous shadows.

Taking a wary step towards the practically palpable darkness, Aloe squinted her eyes in a vain attempt to discern any details. “I can’t see you,” she whispered back into the gloom.

“Don’t worry,” came the response. “Just walk forward.”

Swallowing the large lump that had formed in her throat, Aloe took another tentative step into the umbral alley. “Where are—”

Aloe was cut off as abnormally strong hooves pulled her to one side, stifling her screams with an inescapable grip around her muzzle. She heard the creaking of a door as she was wrenched out of the merely dim lighting and into a pitch-black building. Darkness flooded her senses, bringing equally tenebrous terror. Then she was pushed, stumbling blindly, as a door slammed shut behind her.

A single source of illumination appeared, seemingly blinding in its intensity until Aloe’s eyes adjusted. When she could finally see again, she saw Starlight lift a candle with her magic and then ignite the wick.

“You’re here right on time,” Starlight said, snuffing out her horn. “Sorry about the lack of light, but most ponies wouldn’t understand what we are about to do, so I prefer secrecy.”

“Your letter,” Aloe said in a halting voice. “Your letter said you could help me bring my sister back.”

“Yes,” Starlight said with a mirthless grin. “It did.” She circled the room and lit a few more candles, revealing two separate circles painted on the wooden floor planks.

The designs were unlike anything Aloe had ever seen before, and her gaze was drawn along the curving red lines which made up the motifs. The patterns seemed to writhe in place, and looking at the glyphs for any length of time caused her eyes to water.

“I know that you brought the items I requested,” Starlight said, holding out a hoof.

Aloe pulled out a blood-spattered collar and headband which otherwise matched the pristine ones that she wore. “Here.” She placed them into Starlight’s outstretched hoof.

“I know you’ll just say yes,” Starlight said. “But I also know that I need to ask anyway. So, are you absolutely certain you want your sister back?”

“Yes!” Aloe didn’t even hesitate.

Starlight’s smile had a false aspect to it that rose Aloe’s hackles.

“Excellent,” Starlight said, laying the bloodied articles of clothing within the center of one of the circles. “Stand there, please.” She pointed to the center of the other circle.

Aloe wasted no time in stepping onto the indicated spot. “How long will this take? Berry will get worried if I’m gone for too long.”

“Don’t worry,” Starlight said, her saccharine smile giving Aloe the exact opposite impression. “Everything will be over… very quickly.”

In the dark alley outside the building, a cat prowled. She spied a rat nibbling on a piece of refuse. She moved stealthily, using the shadows to mask her approach. The rat lifted its nose to sniff the air for a second, completely unaware of its impending doom.

Just as the cat was about to pounce and secure her dinner, a loud pony scream sounded from the nearby door, scaring the rat away and ruining her hunt.

The pained voice was horrible; it sounded like something was being killed in there.

No, it was some things—there was more than one shrieking voice.

Week 20, Day 5, Morning

“You again?” Blueblood said as Cannon Fodder walked into the drawing room and hoofed his resumé onto the table.

To Blueblood’s left, Shining let out a groan of exasperation. Tempest merely pierced the blood-red stallion with her trademark bowel-evacuation-inducing gaze.

“Yes sir!” Cannon replied with the same enthusiasm he’d shown before, when Shining had ended the previous interview with a chair smashed over Cannon’s head.

“So,” Blueblood asked while reading the list of qualifications. “You can still take a beating like a champ?”

“Yes sir!” Cannon replied again. “And now there’s an addition!”

A chair—not one of the antique ones, to Blueblood’s relief—shattered over Cannon’s head, showering splinters across the table. Tempest dropped into a fighting stance instantly, but then relaxed after seeing that it was Shining whose horn was lit and that Blueblood hadn’t flinched. When she turned her gaze back to Cannon, however, she raised an eyebrow.

Shining narrowed his eyes.

Blueblood steepled his hooves.

Cannon Fodder hadn’t been moved by the impact in the slightest; he seemed completely uninjured.

It was only then that Blueblood noticed that Cannon’s head—no, his entire body—was mildly depilated in several locations, with a network of thick-looking calluses visible under the thinned-out fur.

“Impressive,” Blueblood said, perhaps genuinely. “Tempest, see how much of a beating he can really take.”

Cannon’s smile widened as Tempest cracked her neck and vaulted the table.

Week 20, Day 5, Noon

The dining room lay on the opposite side of the manor from the drawing room. It was long but narrow, with paintings and busts lining one wall, and tall windows on the other. A table occupied the center, running almost the entire length of the room, and could easily accommodate double the company’s current complement.

“Sore fetlocks?” Blueblood asked Tempest as they entered the spacious room.

Leveling a withering glare at Blueblood, Tempest cracked her fetlock joints. “Hardly,” she replied. “Though I am impressed with that stallion’s endurance; it was like I was beating on a lump of iron.”

Sitting down at the dining room table, Blueblood grinned. “You have experience beating on iron?” he said in a sardonic tone.

“Yes,” Tempest replied, earning a shocked expression from Blueblood. “After reaching a certain level of physical ability, wood becomes too brittle of a material to practice strikes against. Even iron loses its value as a training aid after time.”

“Well,” Blueblood said, “that explains why getting slapped by you is like getting hit with a skillet.”

“Getting hit with a skillet,” Tempest said flatly. “You are also speaking from experience, I assume.” She hoofed some walnuts from a bowl and effortlessly cracked them open with one hoof.

Blushing, Blueblood put one hoof behind his head. “Ahh,” he stammered. “Let’s just say that in my more promiscuous days, a scullery maid and I disagreed on a matter of… unsolicited advances.”

“Fascinating,” Tempest said, in a tone that insinuated exactly the opposite. “Either way, his claims of unbreakable bones and general immunity to blunt force trauma were surprisingly true. I daresay that he might have a greater capacity for enduring physical punishment than even myself.”

“I doubt that. After all, Shining did put a quick end to his claim of blade-proof skin. I think he may have something against Cannon there.” Blueblood used his magic to drag a plate of fresh fruit to sit in front of him, and popped a strawberry onto his tongue. He savored the sweet tartness of its juice as he chewed. “Have you seen Starlight today?”

“No,” Tempest replied. “Not since the meeting yesterday morning.”

“She’s been acting like a ghost,” Blueblood said with a frown. “Ever since she sewed her eyes up, it’s like we’re the ones who have been blind.” A sigh escaped his lips. “What did you think about her little squad?”

“They seem competent. I am unfamiliar with their techniques, but they were certainly effective during the tavern fight. The only one of them who actually strikes me as peculiar was Sugar Belle.”

“Oh?”

“She has… an air about her. Similar to the feeling I get from Starlight, though less intense.”

“You think she’s a prognosticator as well?” Blueblood’s ears perked up.

“She does keep her eyes bandaged.”

“Interesting. Well, we’ll find out sooner or later, I suppose.” Blueblood popped some more fruit into his mouth, but spat it out and pushed the plate away as he realized it was grapes. “Sorry. Reminds me too much of the wine I’m not drinking.”

“Speaking of which, the last of the crates shipped out this morning. The manor is officially dry.”

A tear may have rolled down Blueblood’s cheek.

“Shining and I were planning to speak with this... Rivet,” Tempest said. “But first I want to go and personally inspect what kind of equipment Canterlot is distributing to their soldiers. We may be able to work with the blacksmith on improvements, or we may need to commission entirely new designs. This is assuming we receive more reinforcements from Canterlot, of course.”

“Of course,” Blueblood said. “The round trip to Canterlot will take two days or so, though.”

“Correct. I will prepare this evening and leave first thing tomorrow.”

“Do you want an escort?”

Tempest gave a small, short exhale. One might have gotten the impression that she felt it was a burden to have an escort. “I will take Twilight, Lyra, and Bon Bon. No bandits should be able to stand against us. I will tell them at the afternoon briefing.”

Week 20, Day 5, Afternoon

Starlight walked into the drawing room, much to the surprise of Blueblood and his inner circle of advisors. She wasted no time with pleasantries and upended a large saddlebag onto the table.

Twilight and Shining each raised an eyebrow in unison. Rainbow stopped throwing her lucky chip between her wings. Zecora’s mask was, as expected, completely unreadable. Tempest just continued to glare.

“What’s all this?” Blueblood asked as he looked at the items, which appeared to be guard-issue: a large cleaver-style sword, a broadsword, a mace, and a censer. They were not brand new; there were nicks, chips, scrapes, gouges, and other signs indicative of heavy use.

“Look closer,” Starlight said, grinning that damnable smile of hers.

“Where did you,” Blueblood said in a halting tone as realization dawned on him. He lifted the censer in his magic and beheld the name engraved upon it.

Moondancer

Blueblood’s eyes widened and he stared at her. “You… retrieved their gear?” He stood to his hooves, shaking. His eyes narrowed. “You went into the Ponest Dungeon,” he hissed, “by yourself?!”

“I knew that you would need their gear specifically,” Starlight said lightly. “I merely saved you having to send a squad on a round trip to Canterlot for gear that—while similar—would have been different from what Moondancer’s team used.”

“How did you survive?” Tempest demanded in a harsh tone.

“Chip,” Starlight said, magically flinging a bit into the air and knocking Rainbow’s lucky chip out of its trajectory between her wings, much to the pegasus’ alarm. “Bird,” she said, a moment before a goldfinch landed on a shrub next to the windows and started chirping loudly. “Aaand… Ditzy.”

“Ditzy what—” Blueblood stopped speaking as Ditzy walked into the drawing room carrying a tray of refreshments. While maintaining her ever-present rictus-grin, she tilted her head in confusion as she looked around with one of her eyes to see everypony staring at her.

“Muffins and juice anypony?” Ditzy asked in a nervous tone.

As Ditzy unloaded the food onto the table, Tempest glared at Starlight with an intensity that could compress coal into diamonds.

“Are you trying to tell us,” Blueblood asked, “that your prognostications are accurate enough to allow you to avoid all enemy confrontations?”

“The only other plausible explanation is that I’m in command of all of the cultists that now infest the ruins, and that I made them go down and retrieve the equipment.”

“Wait,” Blueblood said. “The ruins are infested?”

“With far more than just the Canterlot Astrological Society,” Starlight said. “Ponies from all over Equestria own telescopes, you know.”

“How many?” Blueblood’s eyes darted back and forth as he tried to do the mental arithmetic himself. He mind reeled from the staggering implications of the entire nation has been affected.

“Hundreds,” Starlight said, lighting her horn and levitating a muffin to herself. She bit into the baked good and chewed.

“If you knew all of this,” Blueblood said, his face becoming red, “then why didn’t you tell us yesterday?” He ground his teeth together loudly. “Do you find it amusing to string us along like this, risk our lives, and then spring these blasted revelations after the fact?!”

“I was busy with other things yesterday—” She sighed when she saw Blueblood draw his sword “—oh dear, I wasn’t looking forward to this part.”

“I’ll bet you weren’t!” Blueblood shouted, vaulting over the table towards Starlight and tackling her to the floor. He pressed down on her neck with both forelegs, and positioned his sword to strike.

“No!” Twilight yelled, lighting her horn. A crimson tentacle tore through a rent in the air and wrapped itself around both Blueblood and his sword, but it froze in place as Tempest’s black-armored foreleg snaked around Twilight’s neck.

“Unhoof the Prince,” Tempest commanded.

“Let go of my sister!” Shining said, lighting his horn and pressing his sword against the side of Tempest’s neck. “I won’t ask you again—” He stopped speaking when a dagger pressed against the front of his neck.

“To Blueblood, we are all employed,” Zecora said. “Stand down, so conflict we’ll avoid.”

There was a series of clicks as the barrel of Rainbow’s pistol pressed against the side of Zecora’s head. “If you so much as scratch him,” Rainbow hissed, “I’ll turn your head into a canoe.”

The Marexican stand-off was interrupted by a loud snort. Everypony who had eyes slowly turned them to where Ditzy had covered her muzzle with one hoof. A tiny titter escaped from between her lips. It was followed by a choked chuckle. Then Ditzy fell to the floor, dissolved into delirium, and hopelessly howled with convulsive cackles.

Blueblood sighed. “On three everypony?”

The entangled ponies nodded.

“One, two, three.”

Everypony very slowly, very carefully released each other from their deadly stalemate.

Blueblood approached and studied Ditzy’s hysterically thrashing figure. His mouth opened and closed several times, reminiscent of a fish out of water.

“Is she ok?” Twilight asked, staring wide-eyed at the convulsing caretaker.

“I don’t know,” Blueblood admitted with a frown. “This is the first time I’ve seen her like this—”

Ditzy abruptly stopped laughing, righted herself, saluted, then exited the drawing room with a spring in her step.

Rainbow scratched at her mane. “Uh, what just happened?”

Starlight stood. “I fear that Ditzy’s extensive service to Celestia may have… adversely affected her.”

Rainbow blinked at Starlight, completely nonplussed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that there’s more to Celestia’s… ah… status than we’ve been told… isn’t there, Prince?”

Blueblood’s pulse hammered as he turned to face Starlight. “Get out of my sight.” He felt his teeth scraping together in his mouth as he spoke through them. “If you pull something like this again, there’s nothing in Equestria that will be able to save you from my wrath.”

“You’re almost right,” Starlight said in a sad, yet knowing tone. “Nothing from Equestria will be able to spare me from your wrath.” She turned and left the room, leaving the heavy doors open behind her.

Everypony just stared at the exit to the hallway.

“Well that wasn’t ominous.” Rainbow’s voice shattered the oppressive silence like a sledgehammer liberally applied to a stained glass window.