The Anti-Brony Chronicles

I stood around in a very foggy world. It was unlike anything I've seen...I looked around, trying to get my bearings, but it was useless. Finally I looked down. The ground was soft and spongey, like cotton, only thicker. Much thicker. I guessed this would be like walking on tofu, or perhaps a thick cake. It's not bouncy, so it's more like cake than anything. Or maybe just a very thick pillow. Okay enough about that. I looked around once more, looking around for anything that could tell me where I was. Before me stood a large cloud with a rainbow archway. I stepped through and saw...ponies. Pegasi of all colours flying around and having fun. I looked around, a little startled, until someone very familiar appeared in front of me.

"Hello Austin."

"Oh my god...Pr-Pr-Princess Celestia...." I immediately went to grab my pistol, but I caught nothing but air. No holster, no gun handle, not even a bat or a stick to hit her with. Celestia just gave me a kind smile and shook her head.

"No need to feel alarmed, Austin. I'm not here to bronify you, or hurt you."

"But I-"

"You're previous actions have been excused, Austin. I heard about what you did for Twilight and her friends, and decided to pardon you for all you've done. Only a brony would show such compassion toward a pony."

"But I'm not-"

"It's fine if you don't want to admit it. That's your right. I came here to thank you for saving Twilight and myself from possible takeover."

"I....you...wha?!"

"I just wished things could've ended better for you."

"Ended better?...You mean-"

"Well...yes." She continued sadly. "You passed away after you were shot by the general of the anti-brony army."

"So where am I now?"

"Well, I guess you could call this heaven...But it's more of a....a near-death experience."

"How is it near-death if I'm well...dead?"

"No. Your human husk has died. Your spirit is living on, but in a different host."

"Host?"

"All you need to do is wake up...."

"Wake up?"

"Wake up Austin."

"Wha?!"

"Wake up...please please wake up."

Suddenly, I blacked out...I felt something warm and wet hit my cheek...like a raindrop. But I couldn't move...Or...I couldn't feel my body. More raindrops. I did my best to force myself to open my eyes. Finally, one slowly slid open a crack. It was blurry. I couldn't see 10 centimetres in front of me let alone 10 feet. I opened the other eye. Still blurry, but a little clearer. I saw some sort of lavender blob in front of my face. I felt another drop, then another. My cheek twitched.

I blinked a few times. It was finally clear now. The lavender blob I saw was really Twilight...or rather, her face. She was standing near me, crying and holding my...arm...I couldn't feel my hands or fingers...my back felt sore and my feet were numb. I groaned a little, doing my best to assemble something that resembled words.

"Nnghh..."

Twilight's eyes opened and she saw that I was awake. Her sad face turned into one of joy and she squealed like a filly.

"HE'S UP! AUSTIN'S AWAKE!!"

Twilight's friends all ran in and over to the other side of me. I mumbled something again.

"Nnghes.."

Twilight hugged me tightly. That's weird...It didn't hurt....It felt softer, almost like it was being padded by something. Maybe I was wearing a thick suit? Her hooves didn't even dig into my back like I thought they would. Instead, they felt softer too, like they were pressing into me like I was a stuffed animal. I opened my eyes a little more, then looked at the mares, and then at myself...My eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

In place of my human body, I had the body of a pony...a stallion, to be specific. I turned white and screamed. Twilight shushed me and tried to calm me down. I kept screaming and screaming until-

"AHHHHHHH-Mmphhergrumb"

I felt my mouth stuffed with icing and chocolate cupcake. Pinkie smiled warmly.

"There we go. Just chew it up and swallow, and calm down. Let us explain."

I reluctantly obliged, and slowly chewed the cupcake before swallowing it. I remained quiet to let the mares talk.

"Well...After you were shot by the leader of the anti-brony rebels, you passed away. Twilight couldn't stop crying....-"

"He'll be fine! I'll use my healing spell! I'll bring him back with necromancy!"

"Twilight! Stop! He's gone! You're just going to have to accept that!"

"He can't be gone, he can't!!"

"He is. There's nothing else to it, Twi. We need to move on, and protect the princess at all costs."

Twilight was really heart-broken. We all were. But we needed to press on and defeat the army before it reached Canterlot...

"Rainbow Dash, you take the air support! Fluttershy, get your fiercest animals out there on the front lines! Pinkie and Rarity, you two are the ones who will attack them from behind, me and Applejack will come in from the front!

The Anti-Brony rebels attacked in waves. They never let up. Luckily for us, we had the Elements of Harmony with us. We turned each one into stone, then melted them down in a massive furnace. It seemed a fitting end to those rebels. When all was said and done, we told Celestia about everything you did for us. How you refused to kill us, and how you even killed the main leaders of the rebellion single-handedly. She was more than willing to pardon your actions upon hearing that. But once she heard that you were gone, she and Luna created a new pony, one to act as a host for your recently deceased spirit. You were in a coma for days, weeks. We were on the verge of giving up hope.

"So...I'm still dead, but I'm now a pony?"

"No, your human self is dead. We reincarnated you. Needless to say, Twilight is overjoyed at your awakening."

"So am I alive or not?"

"Well...yes. Sort of."

"What happened to my body?"

"It's over there."

She pointed her hoof over to a human corpse laying in the bed near mine. It was kinda creepy seeing my dead body laying there...

"Eww. Why'd you keep it?"

"Um, we aren't. We just have it here in the Ponyville hospital to be put in the morgue..."

".....gross."

"Sorry."

"So this is the start of my new life then."

"Yeah...We're sorry we couldn't bring you back as your human self. We tried, but there was too much damage to do it, so...we made you this."

Pinkie and Rainbow tugged the blanket off me. I looked at my new body. Dark grey coat, and I saw a brown tail laying under me, between my hind legs. I looked at my forelegs and stared at the hooves. It was going to be interesting, that's for sure...

"Can I stand up?"

"Sure...just let us help you...You were used to standing on two legs, but ponies can't balance like that, so you'll need to learn how to walk again."

The mares helped me off the hospital bed and I put my hooves down on the floor. I took a step forward, still adjusting. It was weird, walking around on four legs. I stumbled a few times, and the mares caught me every now and then. Finally, after about an hour of stumbling, tripping on my own tail, and falling, I got the hang of it. Though, it was still difficult. They sat me down on the bed and smiled.

"See? Not so bad."

"Yeah...but...what am I?"

"You're a pony."

"No I mean what type?"

"Oh. You're a unicorn. Look."

Rarity held up a mirror for me. I looked at my new face. Big brown eyes, a grey horn, and shaggy brown hair. I sighed a little, then smiled weakly.

"Thanks girls...Even though I died and came back as a pony, I think I'm going to like it here in Equestria."

They all grouped around me and hugged me tight. I smiled.

*2 Months Later*

I woke up and walked downstairs. Twilight greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hey Austin! Nice to see you up early!"

"Thanks Twi."

"I was gonna go out with the girls. Wanna come?"

"Sure! I have nothing better to do."

Twilight grabbed a basket from the table and walked toward the door. I followed her and we walked until we were in a forest clearing near the local park. She set down the basket as Pinkie and Rarity set down the picnic blanket. We all sat around, eating grass sandwiches and chatting about life, friends and everything in between. This may not be the life I chose for myself, but it's the only life I've got, and I'm gonna live it to it's fullest.

And so ends my tale...

From Anti-Brony, to Brony, to dead, to pony, it was all a very interesting 30 days of my life...If I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

The End