No Longer Alone

Chapters

Snowball Shield
Turn for the Worse
Not Out of the Woods Yet
Picking Up the Pieces
Internal Dilemma
The Ball Drops
A Mare Out of Time
Broken Trust

Snowball Shield

Snow crunched beneath crystalline boots and bone numbing wind tore through a starry mane. Princess Luna stopped for a moment on the mountainside, hunched over as she squinted against the blinding scenery before her. Jagged mountain peaks to her right stretched toward the bright blue sky, obscured by swirling mists. The sun shone harshly high above her, yet she felt no warmth from its rays. A coldness had settled deep into her chest. The Moon was closer to the Sun now than she had been in ages, yet they were still so far apart.

Will things ever go back to the way they were? Luna sighed. It had been months since she returned from the cruel clutches of the moon, and her silence about the experience had only grown. She had chosen to focus on the present in hopes of forgetting the past, to let it fade away and die from her memories like the tainted blight that it was. Only, Celestia didn’t seem to be taking her silence well.

She sighed again, bowing her head. Down below her, a valley housed countless snow dusted pine trees. A frozen river glinted in the light, weaving itself through the forest. A small clearing to the left caught Luna’s eye. She checked her matching winter attire, tugging her hat securely into place. Icy air filled her lungs and she paused a moment as nervous energy bubbled up inside her at what she was about to do. Then Luna leapt off the mountainside, a familiar weightlessness taking hold until she unfurled her large, bat-like wings. And she soared. The feeling of flight was foreign after being away on the moonscape for so long, and she marveled not for the first time at how her wings sliced through the air with ease.

The clearing opened up before her and she dived, the rush leaving her breathless. She alighted in the shade near the forest’s edge, eyes relaxing. The air was still, only Luna’s frosty breath breaking the silence. The snow was littered with tiny paw prints and wild grass poked through its banks. The clearing was peaceful. Boring. Luna’s eye twitched.

Where in Equestria is Celestia? Luna groused. She had not been alone in coming here. In truth, the diarchical sisters had come to explore this vast wilderness during a rare instance of respite from their royal duties. It was a risky outing, one that Luna would have turned down if she had had a say in the matter, but time in Celestia’s busy schedule opened up happenstance and the older alicorn had jumped on blocking out time for the both of them, rousing Luna from her slumber early. Much too early.

How had Celestia put it? Luna snorted, holding back a yawn. Oh, yes. Long overdue sister bonding time.

The long overdue part was an understatement. Luna could recall only a few instances where they had spent time together after assuming the throne, times when the crown had been light upon their brows. Each instance occurred years prior to Luna’s banishment. With Luna ruling the night and Celestia the day, there was very little overlap in their schedules where they saw each other, and less time still when they were not actively serving the little ponies of Equestria. Even after Luna was once again in the kingdom’s good graces, there had not been time for Celestia to question her about the past as she so openly wanted to. That is, until today. Luna didn’t want to open up to Celestia about the time during her banishment though, to give voice to her pain and suffering. She wasn’t sure she ever would.

If it came down to it, I would rather be locked up again, Luna’s dark thoughts swirled around her. I certainly committed enough crimes against equinity to be locked up for the rest of my life. I deserve to, I am a traitor through and throu--“No!”A realization of what she was doing hit Luna hard. Blinking against tears, she reigned in the guilt and self-doubt with a furious whisper. “Stop right there! These thoughts are demeaning and unproductive, and I shall not be reduced to a sniveling mess out here in the wilderness.”

Her thoughts quieted as her vision cleared and she nodded to herself; there would be time to evaluate these thoughts when she was alone and shrouded by the darkness of her Night. She had worked tirelessly to hold back her sorrow from everypony ever since her return, focusing instead on becoming the lighthearted creature that her sister and all of Equestria deserved. It was the least she could do after they welcomed her back to the throne with open hooves. Why they had, she couldn’t fathom, but she would do anything to meet their expectations.

Luna pawed at the ground, idly noting that the powdery surface concealed compacted snow underneath. Her eyes widened slightly, a smile brightening her face. She had thought of a way to make this trip memorable.

She moved further into the clearing, snow crunching beneath her hooves. A few steps in, the ground beneath her forehoof gave way with a crack, and she looked down to see she had stepped on the ice of a frozen puddle. She slowly lifted her hoof back, but then the air caught in her throat and she looked away. The broken shards reflected her shattered face perfectly.

Perhaps it was time for some company. The only problem, she didn’t know where Celestia was. How had they gotten separated? Luna paused, embarrassment rising at her own foalishness. The fault was all her own. She had jumped ahead and taken off from Canterlot without her.

Celestia just had to be stubborn, she thought. ‘No, Luna, I don’t want to scale the mountainside’ and the like. It had actually been a relief at the time that she’d have a few moments to collect herself, but now she realized that she was just prolonging the inevitable. It was time that she faced her sister with half-truths and dodged questions.

Luna briefly closed her eyes, summoning the vast, untapped magic within her. Opening her eyes she began to weave a spell, one that would allow her to send a telepathic message to her sister. Her horn glowed a familiar turquoise, the same as her eyes. As soon as the spell was complete, Luna knew that Celestia had received her message. The plan she had begun formulating took shape. There was very little time to prepare.

……….

Celestia was coming; Luna could feel it. An alicorn as ancient and powerful as her sister was hard to miss, even without a visual. The power required to move a heavenly body such as the sun rivaled all of Equestria’s unicorns combined. The very magical aura of the sun alicorn could be felt for miles around, if one knew how to look for it.

It was the moment that Luna had been waiting for. She smirked, legs splayed wide and magic at the ready. On either side of her, piles of snowballs lie ready for use. A cloaking spell hid her and the snowballs from sight. She was ready.

……….

Time dragged on. A bird’s shriek pierced the silence. Movement in the sky attracted Luna’s attention; it was just a speck of a pegasus flying over Canterlot Mountain. Luna’s joints were stiff with cold and her ears had long since gone numb. She shuddered as a strong breeze cut through her thick, navy fur. She was feeling quite the foal for standing there.

“WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH!” The Royal Canterlot voice burst forth from Luna’s downturned mouth, cracking like thunder throughout the valley. A muted groan responded, steadily growing in volume. The anger drained out of Luna and she crouched down, ears pinned back and eyes wide open as she gazed up at the mountains. Winter had hit the mountainous area hard, burdening the landscape with excessive snow. High above and out of view, subtle cracks spread throughout the mountains’ white covering as the snow began to shift.

At that very moment, a golden light much like the sun lit up the end of the clearing. A whisper of magic nagged at Luna’s consciousness and tore her attention away from the sky. As she looked away, the groaning ceased. The snow loomed above her, awaiting another outburst. The valley was safe… for now.

Straightening up, Luna squinted at the light. Is it… coming closer? she wondered. Then Luna’s jaw dropped. The blinding light dimmed and Celestia appeared before her, light laughter filling the air. The golden aura surrounding her made Celestia’s pure white coat glow radiantly. Her multicolored mane rippled and swayed with the breeze and her eyes sparkled as she gazed in Luna’s direction.

“Sister, there you are!” Celestia said, deep tone resonating. “Where have you been? I’ve been searching all over for you.”

Luna stood still for a moment. She’s looking straight at me, she thought. How does she know exactly where I am? She dared not breathe, only risking a glance to verify that she indeed was not part of the visible spectrum.The silence stretched on. Finally, Celestia’s smile dropped and her eyebrows drew together. She began looking around the clearing and called, “Luna?” She took a few steps toward where Luna stood cloaked and slightly pouted, muttering, “-could’ve sworn she was right here--”

Luna chose that exact moment to strike. She dropped the cloaking spell and leapt toward her, fangs glinting in the light. Scores of snowballs hung suspended in the air, Luna’s magical aura surrounding them; they began to rain down. A laugh left her but then her jaw dropped. None of them made contact. Celestia smiled again and knickered softly into her mane as Luna glared at her.

They were closer together now. The snowballs never made it past Celestia’s golden aura--more like a shield, Luna amended-- and now they were slowly sliding down the dome’s sides. Luna sharpened her gaze, noting the water dripping inside the shield, originating from the snowballs-- “Is that a snowball shield?”

Celestia laughed loudly at that, wiping tears from her eyes with a feathered wing. “Of course not, Luna. Why in Equestria would I summon a shield for snowballs?”

Luna sputtered, then replied, “Then how is water getting inside but not the snow, if it’s a normal shield?”

Celestia paused for a moment, brows drawn together. “I never said it was a shield. You of all ponies should know what it is. I call it my celestial aura. It protects me from the cold every winter, kind of like a terrarium which keeps the warmth in and the cold out. Or wait, is that moisture?” Celestia pursed her lips and hummed, a light blush coloring her cheeks. “You know what, never mind. That was a terrible example. Anyway, you look a little chilled, Luna. Care to join me?”

Luna raised an eyebrow incredulously, weariness coming back. There was no way she would be swayed by the promise of warmth. They were moving into dangerous territory, the open dialogue she dreaded. It was a foals hope, but maybe if she could only keep her distracted, perhaps they’d make it through the day both happy. She shot a quick glance above her sister. Most of the snowballs remained frozen in the air, awaiting her command. Luna needed to keep Celestia talking, to figure out a way around her shield. For a shield it must be, Luna thought. Otherwise, the snowballs would have fallen right through. The snowballs blinked out of sight along with her magical aura.

“So if that’s a terrarium, then you’re a plant now, huh?” She finally replied, deflecting the question.

“Well, if I’m a plant, then you’re an icicle!” Celestia laughed, going along with it.

Luna snorted. She opened her mouth to respond but snapped it shut as she glanced at Celestia’s hooves. Her bare hooves were partially submerged in a puddle of water--no, a puddle of melted snow, Luna corrected begrudgingly-- surrounded by mud and grass. The longer Celestia stood in one place, the more snow melted around her. There was a narrow path stretching behind Celestia and something golden sparkled near her. Perfect! Luna smirked in satisfaction. A diversion. “Yes, yes, very funny. Now let’s move on to a more important topic.”

Celestia stopped laughing and a shadow overtook her features, a hint of desperation in her searching gaze that made Luna uncomfortable. Whatever she was searching for, she wasn’t going to find it.

Luna continued as if she didn’t notice the shift. “Is that one of your horseshoes over there, in the mud, Celestia? And where are your other ones?”

Just like that, the shadow disappeared. Celestia scrunched her snout and glanced behind herself, chuckling. “Oh Luna, why are you worrying about that? The ground under my bare hooves feels marvelous. Besides, I have another set at the castle.”

Luna didn’t miss the tinge of pink on Celestia’s ears. “You’ve ruined them, haven’t you?”

Celestia spun around, eyes wide and mouth gaping. “No! That is to say-I mean, uh… In a way, yes.” She cast her eyes down. “How’d you know?”

Luna was silent for a moment, surprise flickering across her face. This… is unexpected, she thought, but I must take full advantage! A playfulness overtook her. She lightly cleared her throat, then said aloud, “Oh, what is that phrase ponies use nowadays? Ah, yes, sister’s intuition! I admit it would have been hard to spot, what with your poker face and nonchalant attitude. Luckily for you, I happen to have more intuition than your average pony. You can’t save face with me around!” As Celestia barked out a laugh, Luna mercilessly barrelled on. “Sooo, how did you ruin your royal horseshoes?” Her sister’s laughter turned into a groan.
This is going exceedingly well, Luna thought, a lightness in her chest. It feels so good to jest and tease! This might not be such a terrible outing after all. I must thoroughly divert her. A plan began to form, and Luna allowed herself a small smile.

Author's Note

This is my first ever fan fic and I’m so happy that I am finally posting something. I hope you enjoy!

View the Speed Drawing here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AYqGSJNJzKk

Turn for the Worse

“No wonder you lost your shoes, probably pulled under the ice and swept away by the current! And you honestly thought it was a good idea to cross the river by hoof when you have this whole ‘celestial aura’ thing going on? A river, might I add, that was frozen solid when I flew over earlier?”

Luna gazed at her sister expectantly. They now stood at the edge of the river in question, the current moving fast and strongly. Looking down at the river bank, Luna could have sworn she saw greenery poking out of the snow.

“Sister,” Celestia began. “Do you believe me to be such a simpleton? I did not fall through the ice. I crossed on the natural stepping stones over there.” Luna searched for a moment, then spotted a few sharp-edged boulders peeking above the current, several pony-lengths apart.

Celestia sighed, then continued, “How could I resist? They were just like the ones we used to skip across in the pond at the old castle. Do you remember?”

Luna knew immediately what Celestia was referencing. The pond and the surrounding landscape flashed through her mind. Luna sank down into the snow, suddenly weary. She told herself it was because she was up way past her bedtime. Luna pawed at the ground and attempted to speak, but a lump had formed in her throat. Swallowing, she replied, “Yes, too few and far too wide apart. I did not think you would remember something that is so--was so!… so long ago.” Luna winced at her stuttering. She had stopped herself from saying something that would let on to her internal dilemma. Her sister need not know how she clung to those memories of better times, to see just how pitiful she was. She immediately regretted coming on this trip.

Celestia drew nearer, frowning. She saw through her. “Luna, you do know how much I love you and how I cherished our childhood, don’t you? Not a day passes by without me remembering the little things that you and I did together. Those memories bore me through my time of grief, our time of separation. Holding on to good memories is nothing to be ashamed of, and now we can make more together. You are not alone, not anymore.” Celestia did not miss the flinch. Luna looked away. The rush of the river filled the silence. “Luna, don’t you trust me? I know that it has not been an easy adjustment for you, coming home. Do not tell me that everything is fine.”

The conversation was bordering on a dangerous topic, one that Luna was not ready to address yet. She had not realized that the cold had left her until it returned to her chest, intense and unforgiving. Memories of countless nights alone in a frozen wasteland surfaced, and thoughts of what was and what could have been began to fill her mind--No! I will not go there, not today. There will be plenty of time for self-loathing later. Luna shook her head. Celestia has suffered enough already. Today is a day for relaxation and winter fun! I must see to the plan’s fruition. Yet as Luna took stock of her situation, she felt conflicted. She grabbed a stick and began to draw circles in the snow.

Celestia stooped down and touched a wing to Luna’s back. Luna had been quiet too long. “Luna,” Celestia began to speak, concerned.

As the warmth from Celestia’s aura began to envelop her, Luna made up her mind. In one swift motion, she spread her wings and leapt to her hooves. “Let us not discuss this heavy subject now, dear sister, but instead enjoy your glorious Day. Now is the time for laughter and fun!” Luna attempted to smile; it did not reach her eyes.

Celestia’s face clouded over and her mouth opened slightly. A tense moment passed, but then her eyes softened and she acquiesced, “Okay, Luna. As you wish.” Luna relaxed.

“But first,” Celestia continued, “You must promise me that we will discuss this, and soon. Perhaps when we return to Canterlot. Scratch that, before we return. We cannot continue like this, little sister. It is too easy to go back to our old ways. And you and I both know how that ended.” Celestia gave Luna a hard look. Luna let out a humorless laugh, a faraway look in her eyes. Celestia cleared her throat. “So Luna, what say you?”

Luna snapped her attention back to Celestia. “Well… fair enough, I suppose. Though I highly doubt one afternoon will be enough to cover 1,000 years.” She smiled faintly.

Celestia returned her smile. “Of course it won’t be, Luna, but it will be a good start.” She shifted her weight. An awkward moment passed.

“Now then,” Luna broke the silence, “Let us find your other shoes. Considering that they are made out of gold, we do not want to leave them behind. It would be just our luck that a mountaineer stumbles across your gold horseshoes and makes a fortune selling them. Imagine the hay-day the papers would have with a story like that!”

Celestia shook her head with a frown. “Ugh, I can see the headlines now. They’d blow it out of proportion and make it into a huge scandal for sure, as if there’s nothing better to report on!”

“There would be protests for sure.” Luna laughed humorlessly. “At least that’s one thing that has stayed the same. No matter which century, the press will find fault with the crown.” She shook her head. “So with that in mind,” Luna continued, “Where did you last see your shoes?”

“You know, I believe I actually left them on the stepping stones. I had wanted to feel the ice with my hooves.” Celestia kicked the melting snow that was by her hooves.

“Ah-ha! So you were being a simpleton! I bet the river would still be frozen if you hadn’t touched it. Your ‘celestial aura’ has no regard for nature. Tell me truthfully, did you fall in?”

“I have wings, remember? Or did you forget?”

“Ha ha, very funny. I also have wings--,” Luna flapped her wings and rose into the air. “--And I shall retrieve them!” She flew a good distance away to the middle of the river and alighted on one of the boulders. The first thing she noted was that they were not just like the ones at the old castle. They were quite a bit larger than they had appeared from her previous vantage point, and looking back toward the bank Celestia was no larger than a mouse. Luna smirked at the comparison. She searched for the shoes, but they were not there. She immediately moved on to the next, determined to find them and get Celestia back to the clearing. The fun must continue, after all.

“Luna, do you see them?” Celestia called. Her question was almost inaudible over the sound of the river.

“Not yet!” Luna called back. She muttered to herself, “Where are they?”

She found them on the third boulder, bent and shimmied into a crevice. Luna would have overlooked them if the sun hadn’t caught them at just the right angle.

“Yes, I’ve found them!” Her celebration was cut short when she realized there were only two shoes. “Hey Celestia! There are only two here! Where is the other one?”As she was speaking, a loud growl filled the air. Luna whipped her head around just as the river erupted. Everything was a blur as the water surrounding her shot up toward the sky, then the boulder underneath her shifted and Luna fell on her side. Black scaly claws appeared from the depths, reaching for her.

“LUNA!” Celestia cried. “TELEPORT!” Before she could respond, Luna was pulled under.

The world had gone quiet for Luna, a dull ringing filling her ears. Initially she had felt shockingly cold, but now the only thing she could feel was something strong and inescapable holding her down. She struggled against it but Luna grew weaker and weaker. A muffled shout sounded from somewhere and the restraints disappeared. She opened her eyes to an incomprehensible sight. She couldn’t tell up from down.
What is going on? For a moment Luna floated there, trying to remember, then the pain registered. Her lungs screamed for air and Luna finally realized she was underwater. A simple spell aided in her escape from a watery grave and she broke through the surface, coughing violently. Her hearing returned to her. “--LEPORT NOW LUNA! GET AWAY!” Something large was coming toward her--! Luna disappeared in a bright flash.

Author's Note

Aaaaand that wraps up Chapter 2! It feels so good to finally make progress on a story I've been working on for so long. If all goes well it won't be too long before I update again.

(4/26/20) Edit: I added an illustration to the chapter! :)
View the Speed Drawing here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5R3614XzM5E

Not Out of the Woods Yet

Luna appeared a short distance away, gasping on the ground. Blinking water out of her eyes, she could now see what they were up against. It was a river serpent, eyes cold and menacing, and it was facing off against Celestia. The creature was deceivingly unimposing in the water until it leaped into the sky after her. Most of its body had been underwater; the serpent was nearly as long as the river was wide. It easily reached Celestia and swiped a sharp claw at her throat. Luna choked out a cry. Celestia managed to dodge, beating her wings rapidly to gain altitude. She rose a safe distance away from the creature in the air and immediately struck it with a force spell, pushing it all the way back into the water. Immense power illuminated her horn and her eyes took on an eerie glow. Playtime was over.

“Stand down, foul beast! Only a fool challenges the Sun!”Piercingly bright light burst forth from Celestia’s horn and hit the beast in the chest. It staggered back with a roar, succumbing to Celestia's power. It collapsed with its eyes screwed shut, groaning. The light vanished and Celestia turned around, gaze searching. She spotted Luna on the river bank and shot one last golden beam at the creature before teleporting to her side.

“Luna, Luna!” Celestia placed a hoof on her shoulder and began to shake her. “Hang in there! Are you hurt anywhere?”

“N-n-no, m-m-j-just d-dan-d-dy,” Luna forced out. Her head jerked toward the river. “W-what d-id you d-do?”

“To that creature? Sunstroke and temporary blindness, just enough to incapacitate him for the time being. But enough about that, you’re freezing! Why haven’t you dried yourself off yet?”

“I, uh. Huh.” Speech failed her. Luna realized belatedly that Celestia hadn’t been shaking her. Her coat was drenched and it was starting to freeze over. “M-my thoughts are m-muddled, sister.”

“Don’t worry, Luna. I will not allow hypothermia to take you. You’ll be right as rain in no time!” Celestia enveloped her in a hug, wings and all. Once again, the celestial aura embraced Luna, surrounding her with great warmth. This time, she did not fight it. Within seconds her fur dried, her breathing evened and her shivering stopped. Warmth also filled her chest and Luna knew that it wasn’t from the aura.

“Thank you, dear sister.” Luna sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little sister.” Celestia nuzzled her. A moment passed, then she stood up and offered a hoof to Luna. “How do you feel?”

Luna took her hoof and smiled. “Better than I have in a long time.”

“Good. Now let’s take care of this creature that dares to threaten royalty!” They turned their attention back toward the river and gasped. The serpent had already recovered from Celestia’s attack. He glared at them, head just above the river’s surface, biding his time. The sisters adopted defensive stances.

“He must have a fast healing ability!” Celestia exclaimed. She looked at Luna. “Any ideas?”

Luna nodded. “To start, he’s a river serpent. He must have woken up from hibernation when the river thawed, so we need to put him back to sleep.”

“Mmm, to do that we need to work together.” Celestia replied. Her brow furrowed. “One of us will need to force him under while the other freezes the river over. Once it’s frozen, the river serpent will surely return to hibernation. I am unable to freeze anything at the moment, so I will be the one to force him under.”

“Excellent!” Luna stamped a hoof. “Consider the river as good as frozen.” While Luna was still speaking, the river serpent launched itself at them, closing the distance within seconds. The sisters barely got out of the way before the creature snapped its mouth shut right where they had been standing.

Its maw is large enough to swallow a pony whole! Luna noted, taking to the skies. Something nagged at the back of her mind. She replayed the scene in her head. The light had reflected on something golden in the creature’s mouth before they had moved out of the way.

“Go, Luna! I will do my part!” Celestia called from below, facing the creature. She summoned a shield and began to force the serpent back into the river.

Luna flew to the other side and landed. She concentrated on the tremendous spell that would seal the water’s surface for the rest of the winter. As she finished her preparations, it came to her. She realized what she had seen in the serpent’s mouth.

The missing shoe! Luna’s glowing eyes widened. Looking out across the water, she saw that Celestia almost had the creature in the river again. Celestia’s magic was wrapped around the great beast and she was slowly easing it into the water.

“Sister!” Luna shouted. “I am ready!”

“Okay!” Celestia replied. She gave up all pretenses of a struggle and forced the river serpent into the deepest part of the river within a matter of seconds.

“There is one more thing we must do, Celestia!” Luna left the river bank and headed straight for the serpent. “Can you open his mouth for me?”

“Yes, but why?”

“To right a wrong. Trust me!” Luna called back. She dove, not waiting for a response.

Without hesitation, Celestia opened its mouth. Luna numbed the area and worked quickly to remove the shoe. It was no small feat to hold on to multiple spells at once. As the crushed metal loosened its hold on the soft tissue, she was able to see the damage that had been done to the creature’s mouth and winced. It was no wonder it had been so aggressive. Extraction a success, she cast a simple healing spell and darted away.

“NOW!” Luna cried above the creature’s roar.

Celestia gave one last immense push and flew out of the way. As soon as the river serpent was under the water, Luna let the magic loose on the river. An icy blue beam with a spell to match collided with the surface and rapidly spread as far as the eye could see. The instantaneous freezing of the river water produced a tremendous tremor that shook the valley with a deafening boom. Luna landed next to Celestia as the ground stilled, panting hard. She waved the mauled shoe at her and Celestia’s eyes widened in surprise. They said nothing for a moment, choosing to survey the river. It was perfectly frozen over, no signs of the recent struggle. Even the greenery on the river bank had disappeared. Luna finally caught her breath.

“That was… something else, wouldn’t you say?” Luna gestured with a foreleg at nothing in particular.

“Indeed,” Celestia laughed. “I am glad it’s over!”

“It figures that our outing would be interrupt--Wait, do you hear that?” Luna’s ears twitched.

The sisters stood still, listening. For a moment the residual echoes from the boom were all that could be heard, but then a rumbling sound joined them, steadily growing in volume. The sisters looked up at the same time. An avalanche was coming.

“Of all things--!” Celestia shouted.

“Is there to be no rest for the weary?!” Luna exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief at the oncoming snowslide. It moved at a steady pace down the mountainside, effortlessly uprooting trees and supplanting boulders. The avalanche was an immovable force, a behemoth devouring everything in its path. The magnitude was so great that there was no way to stop it. The valley would be destroyed.

Time seemed to slow down. Luna stood frozen in place, her mind scrambling to find a solution. With each passing second she grew more and more panicked. It was just like before, all those years ago. There was no one to help her, no pony to turn to. The responsibility of the night had been her burden to bear, and a thankless task at that. She had been too weak to carry it alone, to carry out her duties as a princess without succumbing to her dark inclinations. And here she was now in this present age, unable to perform the most basic duty of protecting the land from harm. Pathetic. An excuse for a princess. She really was unworthy of her crown--

Luna was startled out of her thoughts by a light pressure on her shoulder. She looked to her side and there was a white blur. She blinked to clear her eyes, surprised that she had started crying. Celestia pulled away her wing tip, concern creasing her brow. Luna had been so caught up in the moment that she had forgotten that she wasn’t alone. It was nothing like before. They were older now and more experienced. She had a sister who was more present, supportive and perceptive of her struggles. They were in this together.

Celestia shifted her gaze to the sky and stepped forward, eyes flashing with determination. The aura around her grew brighter and heat radiated from her. She turned to her sister again.

“Luna, do you trust me?” Celestia looked her in the eye, an uncharacteristically calm expression on her face. It was a simple question, but Luna knew its deeper implications. It was one she had struggled with in the past, and her younger self’s response and subsequent actions had cost her a thousand years of isolation. All those years she had only thought of herself and the suffering she had to endure, but after her release the Elements gave her a new perspective. She may have lost everything, but somepony else had lost almost as much as her: A sister. Not anymore, and never again would she allow it. Luna took a steadying breath; she had long since made her decision.

“Yes, Celestia, I trust you. You know that I trust you.” Luna felt strengthened by the declaration, like a weight had been lifted from her chest at Celestia’s radiant smile.

“Don’t worry, little sister. We’ve got this together. Protect the ground, use your shield now!” With that, Celestia launched herself at the oncoming avalanche, her celestial aura growing in intensity. Luna immediately complied with Celestia’s command, surrounding herself and nearly the entire valley with a turquoise shield. Now all she could do was wait.

The avalanche had picked up speed and was approaching a drop that led directly into the valley. Celestia poured more and more power into the aura, extending it as far as it would go. The sky was ablaze with her magic. Super charged, she met the avalanche head on just as the wall of snow began to free fall from the mountain. Upon collision with the hot aura, the snow hissed and became steam. Debris caught in the snow was freed and hurtled towards the ground. Celestia held firm against the onslaught. The air was filled with so much snow and steam that Celestia began to lose sight of her own aura. It took all of her concentration to keep up with the spell while protecting herself from projectiles.

Far below in the valley, Luna braced herself against the force of the heat as it reached her shield. The temperature was more intense than she was expecting and the snow around her began to melt. She poured more energy into the spell just as she was bombarded by falling trees, boulders, and other debris. Luna held on for what seemed like an eternity. Ever so slowly the debris stopped coming, then the cold returned, and finally the fog lifted from the clearing, revealing Celestia. Battered and bruised, she stood smiling up at the sky, which was now covered in dark clouds. Snowflakes began to fall. Luna sighed. The valley was safe.

Author's Note

~~The next chapter wraps up the story~~
5/31/20 edit: It’s shaping up to be two more chapters!
8/24/20 edit: Chapter revised for better flow for upcoming Chapter 4 :)

Picking Up the Pieces

The silence was broken by the sweet serenades of countless birds. They flitted about the damaged landscape without a care in the world. Squirrels ran up and down the trees in pursuit of one another, and even a few rabbits appeared from the undergrowth with noses twitching. It was as if the valley had been holding its breath before, and only now that the danger had passed did it release it. Life had been restored to the once silent valley.

Considering that they were in the middle of winter, the flurry of activity was very odd. Normally, all of these creatures wouldn’t be out for a couple of months yet until winter was wrapped up. Although, it wasn’t too odd considering that Celestia was involved. She did have a tendency to bring out life wherever she went, like a ray of sunshine. There was something calming and reassuring about her presence and her warm demeanor put ponies at ease.

Luna had noticed it especially with the castle staff. One moment a pony could be having a meltdown, and the next be as untroubled as a foal. It was as if Celestia’s presence alone was enough to inspire trust and confidence in anypony that walked through her doors. Now it could have been attributed to Celestia being an experienced leader, where her reputation preceded her, but that reason had never sat right with Luna. Looking at her sister now, she thought that she had finally figured out why. Not because of something she could see, but because of the absence of something that had been there.

“Sister, your celestial aura is gone!”

“Yes, it is,” Celestia replied gravely. “I poured as much magic into it as I could to stop the avalanche. Evaporating that much snow at once drained the spell.” A shudder ran through her body and she pouted, dropping the serious tone. “Ugh, I cannot believe how cold it is! How do you stand it?”

Luna laughed, smiling despite herself. That smile faded as she thought about the troubling implications of her sister’s aura. What if there had been an ulterior motive behind the celestial aura? Persuasion? Outright mind-control? Celestia certainly didn’t sound happy about losing it. And what could Luna do about it if she was right?

I mustn’t overreact, Luna thought. It’s true that I have been absent from this land for centuries. Perhaps some of the ancient laws regarding leadership and magic have changed… under Sister’s rule. But if it is what I fear, it’s not like she has been abusing it. Ponies are so much happier with her around. Either way, though, I must know the truth! For Sister’s sake, as well as my own. A glimmer of hope stirred in her heart.

With her suspicions in mind, Luna decided to broach the topic carefully. “Come now, Celestia, tell me. What is this celestial aura really? Surely there is more to it than winter insulation. I have not heard of it before today! And if I ‘of all ponies should know what it is’ as you said earlier, then tell me.” She finished off with crossing her forelegs petulantly.

Celestia pursed her lips, and she seemed to choose her words carefully. “Well, you know how drafty the castle can be. Is it so far-fetched that I would engineer a spell specifically to help with that?”

Luna’s eyes narrowed. Celestia wasn’t being up front with her. This was going to be harder than she thought; she would have to point out the holes in her story. She replied, “It wouldn’t be, if it were cast on the castle itself. I don’t believe that you would be that selfish to keep the warmth all to yourself, considering how many non-unicorns are in our employ. And then of course the aura’s only visible when you’re outside during the winter because it isn’t cold enough in the castle. Yes, I put two and two together on that one. I also find it odd that you named it after yourself, if it is so far removed from yourself.”

She sighed dramatically, then continued, “Really, sister, I’m hurt that you won’t tell me what it is.” The words were spoken lightly, but Luna could feel her heart sinking with each passing second. She didn’t know how much more of this avoidance she could take.

For a split second pain flashed across Celestia’s face, but it was gone as fast as it came. She schooled her features before replying. “Very well then, if you must know. The aura was a reflection of the connection I have with the sun, essentially a part of me. So yes, it was closely related to me and I had thought that ‘celestial aura’ was an appropriate name.”

“So how does that work? Or rather, how did it work?” Luna pressed her.

“I’m not sure what you are asking, Sister.” Celestia seemed genuinely puzzled. “Do you mean how it kept everything warm?”

“No, the connection.” Luna’s impatience was starting to leak into her tone. “You said that it reflected the connection you have with the sun. You’ve been leading me to believe that warmth is all there is to it, but that cannot be.”

“Well, there is more to it but I don’t see the point in discussing it further. Really, I don’t know why you are so interested in it. The aura is gone now.” Celestia spoke with finality and shuffled her wings, but Luna would have none of it.

“I’m not finished, Celestia. The connection I have with the moon is not just about coolness or even darkness. To speak in no uncertain terms, it’s a relationship that would be abusive if it were between ponies. It’s one where I’m completely in control, and when I speak the moon listens. She does what I command her to do, regardless of the season or time of night. I imagine that it isn’t all that different between yourself and the sun.”

“Sister--!” Celestia tried to break in, but Luna swiftly cut her off.

“My concern is this: All this time you have been projecting that connection, that type of relationship, on everypony you meet, haven’t you?” Luna was breathing heavily by the time she finished.

Celestia’s eyes were wide with shock and she stepped back, but she made no motion to answer. The accusation had come off stronger than Luna had intended. Already she was ashamed of herself for giving in to her emotions. It was a mistake talking to her about this, Luna decided. I have failed as both a princess and as a sister. Just as she was ready to bolt, to be anywhere else but there, Celestia found her voice.

“That’s not entirely wrong, Luna, but it’s not completely true, either.” Celestia’s eyes were troubled. It seemed like she was going to say more, but then she closed her eyes and sighed, “Let bygones be bygones, Sister. What’s the point of talking about something that can’t be changed?”

Luna felt something die within her; perhaps it was hope. Immediately her vision began to swim. “Then what’s the point of us discussing what happened to me on the moon?” She was shaking; the cold and quiet words had slipped out before Luna could stop them. She couldn’t bring herself to regret them though, even when Celestia whipped her head up to look at her, mouth agape in horror.

Luna’s mouth went dry. She couldn’t speak while looking Celestia in the eye, so she averted her gaze before continuing. “You know that I am weak. I’ve struggled to do the right thing in the past; that’s why our relationship is so strained right now.” Her voice grew stronger and her eyes now met Celestia’s. “But not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I’ve done. I have scars from it, Celestia, that run so deep I’ll never escape them. Every single night I have to fight this hopelessness that threatens to overcome me. I can barely stand to think about my past, let alone speak it aloud. How then am I supposed to talk to my perfect older sister, the spotless ‘Princess of the Day’, about m-my failings, failings that should not even exist on a princess’ record?

“Yet I have grown tired of hiding my thoughts from you, especially with all the pestering as of late, so I will give you my perspective. I already have a bit, but if I wasn’t clear before I’ll say it now. I’m not comfortable sharing my...pain...my grief, with somepony who can’t relate. The pony I see before me is different than the one I grew up with; so graceful, so strong, and so perfect. I don’t even know you to make mistakes besides small, inconsequential ones. Of course, I just accused you of corruption, but I am inclined to believe that is my desperation talking and I’m merely grasping at straws. I have no proof, after all. But let me ask you this: If you are hiding your guilt, what example does that set for me? And what do you gain from it?”

Luna fell silent, allowing the question to hang in the air. Celestia began to pace back and forth and appeared to be deep in thought, so she patiently waited. She was rewarded a few minutes later when Celestia stopped and started to speak.

“Luna, dear sister, I love you greatly. You must remember that. But also know that I am by no means a perfect pony. I have told this to all of my little ponies many times, even though they never listen.” Frustration was evident in her furrowed brow. She exhaled slowly before continuing. “That is where the problem lies for me. I have never done anything so public as you have, and there are no other ponies alive to speak of my youthful misadventures. There were countless generations of ponies that came before those living today who thought me a goddess, primarily because I single hoofedly guided this country into an era of peace and prosperity, and unfortunately that belief still persists today.

“I am prefacing this because I need to contrast our situations to help you understand where I’m coming from. I was hurt deeply by your banishment; my only family, my only friend had been taken away from me. Literally overnight our diarchy ended, and my anarchy began. All of the responsibilities that we shared were suddenly mine alone to bear, and I had to be strong for the nation to keep all of our hard work from falling apart. It was sometime during the worst of my grief for you that I resolved there would be a country for you to return to when you came home, and so I put all of my time and energy into being the strong leader that our little ponies needed.

"Within the first two centuries I was very successful, and because of that everypony thought that I was some perfect deity. As much as I hated it, I couldn’t afford to prove them wrong, not when even the smallest display of weakness could jeopardize the country. I have ruled alone like this for so long that I forgot what it was like to have someone I could talk to, someone I could be myself around. I didn’t even realize what I was doing to myself… and to you… how hypocritical I was being.” Her ears drooped as she finished. She moved away and began to pace again.

Luna was silent, contemplating Celestia’s words. She shook the snow from her coat and stretched her stiff legs. Before she could think of something to say, Celestia faced her once more. She was surprised to see tears staining her fur.

“Luna,” Celestia spoke softly, “You were right, earlier today, when you called my celestial aura a shield. It’s not exactly what you thought it was, though, and I am sorry that I wasn’t upfront with you. As you already know, it isn’t easy talking about one’s failings. I hope you can understand a bit better now why it is especially difficult for me.”

Luna moved closer, placing a comforting wing over Celestia’s shivering frame. Celestia continued with a sigh, her warm breath fogging the air. “The celestia aura was a mistake. It was something I invented some years after our battle. As much as I told myself that I was strong, I wasn’t. It was a struggle to adjust to all of my new duties, and in those days many ponies lacked respect for the crown. Pony after pony would come to me to file their complaints about anything and everything, mostly about how I was doing an inadequate job; it didn’t matter to them how much good I was accomplishing.

“Naturally I came to dread every encounter. I had no one to talk to anymore, to help me through it, so I finally did something about it. If the little ponies of Equestria were going to come to me to ask for help, then they would at least believe that I had the ability to assist them instead of questioning my authority. I designed the spell to project the connection I have with the sun on those in my presence. Not mind-control, mind you, but a type of influence. I rationalized it because everypony had the power to reject the feelings if they really wanted to, they had a choice. Of course, at the time I was grateful that very few ponies did. I justified it as being for the greater good of the country, but at the end of every day my mind was troubled. It may have made my job easier, but deep down inside I knew that it was wrong, that I was projecting feelings on ponies that were not their own.

“I tried to end the spell at different times over the years, times when I was feeling particularly disgusted with myself, but I never could. I was too much of a coward, afraid of what ponies would think of the ‘real Celestia.’ But do you know what the scariest part of it all was? When it stopped bothering me altogether. I knew I was too far gone then.”

“Sister,” Luna began, giving Celestia a hug, “As much as our little ponies believe us to be infallible, there is no such thing as a perfect pony. I know that and you know that, or at least you know it in your head. I believe that you have yet to know it to your heart, and that is why you struggle still. Because where the heart leads, the mind follows. You have put too much pressure on yourself, trying to be perfect. I see that now.”

Luna’s eyelashes glistened with unshed tears, heart aching and guilt prickling her coat. She continued, “To think that this was all because of my foalishness. I hurt you so much that you hid yourself behind a shield. I thought you were better off than me, remaining on equus, but you were just as isolated as I was. Worse yet, because you had to be a pony you are not.

“But listen to me, Celestia. You were perfect just the way you were, and you were a strong pony. You never needed a crutch. You could have ruled the country without that shield, and you will rule the country now that it is gone.”

“How do you know? How can you be sure?” Celestia whispered. Tears continued to flow down her face.

“Because I know you, sister. You said it yourself, everypony had a choice with the celestial aura. I subconsciously rejected it, because I knew who you were before. I was searching for similarities, but I mostly saw what you wanted me to see. Every once in a while, though, I saw through the facade and it gave me hope. Everything I loved about you is still there and, even better, you have become one of the greatest leaders there ever was.”

After a moment, Celestia said quietly, “You have been home not even a year, and you have discerned the truth of this millennium old secret of mine that I kept so well hidden until today.” Her expression became pained. “Yet when I was in the same position as you all those years ago prior to your banishment, I did not see what was in plain sight. I did not know my own sister.”

“No, you didn’t, but you’re not quite as observant as me nor I did not make it easy for you, Celestia. I hid myself from you because I knew you would not stand for my jealousy. Of course, it was because of that that my jealousy festered until I became the monster I was.” Luna pulled her wing away.

Celestia frowned slightly, but did not argue. Instead, she stretched her wings and broke into a smile, leaping into the air. She flew a few laps above the clearing laughing all the while. When she landed, Luna tilted her head to the side questioningly.

“Forgive me, Luna,” Celestia started, “But I could contain myself no longer. I feel so free, as light as a bird now that I’ve told you everything. I feel so much better.”

“Yes, thank you for telling me about your demons," Luna replied. "You can put them behind yourself now. There must be no more talk of artificial feelings or relationships.” Luna smiled, sighing, “I think I can almost speak about mine now. Let’s wait a little bit longer, though. These poor creatures need help rebuilding their homes.” And I still need more time, Luna thought anxiously.

When would the misery end?

Internal Dilemma

The avalanche had taken its toll on the once-beautiful valley, and it was only now in the aftermath that Luna realized the full extent of the damage, what all that had been lost that day. The mountainside was disfigured, having lost part of itself in a simultaneous landslide, and the ground below was marred by deep gouges and jagged boulders. All of the snow was sullied by the upturned soil.

Luna surveyed the damage quietly, her face burning with shame. It had been her responsibility to stop the debris while Celestia melted the snow. Alas, in her haste to erect a shield Luna hadn’t thought her spell through; a novice’s mistake. In the heat of the moment, Luna had merely thought to stop the debris’ descent. And it did stop at Luna’s shield… but then it all promptly fell the rest of the way to the ground.

The tons of debris from the mountain dropped even from a low height was enough to decimate the ancient forest, a forest that had been young when Luna first began her reign as princess. Many of those great, magnificent pines had been felled that day, and tears pricked at her eyes for the loss. The landscape was unrecognizable.

Imbecile! How careless I have become. Is there nothing that I can do right? How in the world did I let this happen? She berated herself, then stopped as a sudden thought struck her. Unless… it was the result of something not-so-innocent. Am I... tainted? Did my time as Nightmare Moon make me so self-serving that it removed my sense of care for the things around me? Do I subconsciously view everything as expendable?

Deeply troubled, she thought back on her spell for any signs of what she suspected. The subconscious after all played a major role in influencing the outcome of a spell, and considering the results of her basic shield spell it was not outside of the realm of possibility. Her frame of mind might still be twisted, and they just didn’t know it yet.

After all, not enough time had passed since her reformation for Luna to examine herself for the effects of her power spell, the one that had transformed her into the monster that confronted her sister in the battle for the throne. But as much as she wanted to immediately analyze her actions now that she had a new perspective to look from, her introspection would have to wait. They were still out in the wilderness and Celestia no doubt would have a lot to say to her.

Luna, mouth dry and gut twisting in dread, finally turned to face her sister. They hadn’t even been reconciled for a year and here she was, making a disastrous mistake. Celestia would surely express her disappointment for the carelessness she displayed today. She steeled herself, preparing for the scolding that was to come. Irresponsibility on this scale demanded it yet Luna’s heart raced at the thought, the trepidation suffocating. Would she call into question Luna’s motives for botching the spell? Did Celestia… did she suspect the same?

As she forced her gaze to meet Celestia’s, Luna was shocked to see no traces of anger or resentment in those clear purple eyes. No, her dear kind sister hadn’t suspected a thing and now her smile was gone, replaced by a frown of concern. She seemed somewhat lost as to what to do, as if she were confronting a frightened foal and not her millennium old sister. Sadly, if Luna’s face betrayed even a bit of the turmoil she felt inside she couldn’t blame her.

Me and my stupid assumptions, she lamented internally, struggling to calm her racing heart. If only I hadn’t overreacted then Celestia wouldn’t be looking at me like this.

Not only once, but twice today had Celestia seen her in a state of vulnerability. First it was the frozen humiliation on the river bank, and now here where her emotions were out for all to see. But perhaps she could still remedy the situation and keep what little pride she had intact, for her sister had yet to be enlightened of her current dilemma.

No, she would not enlighten her. What good would it do for her to know that she was more damaged than either of them had thought? It was only a theory at this point anyway, and the last thing Luna needed to do was incriminate herself further when she was already suspect. As much as she hoped that her agony over the possibility ruled out her guilt in the matter, she was not so certain that would be the case. But until such a time came where she could definitively say that she was guilty, she would keep quiet.

(What would happen if Celestia ever found out before then, Luna did not want to think about).

Decision made, she began to retreat, desiring nothing more than to be wrapped in the healing embrace of solitude. As she slowly backed away, Celestia finally snapped out of her thoughts and called to her. Typical.

“Wait Luna, what’s wrong?” There was urgency in her tone, not to be ignored.

Luna stopped her retreat but she shook her head mutely. All the reassurances that she could think of wouldn’t leave her tongue. When it became apparent that she wasn’t going to answer, Celestia tried again.

“Please, I only want to help. We were doing so well! Tell me what troubles you.” Her eyes glistened in the light. Sincere pleading, a sure guilt-trip if there ever was one.

Luna could not bear to look at her anymore and turned around, back not quite to her. In the corner of her eye she saw alarm pass over Celestia’s face, but she relaxed when she saw that Luna wasn’t leaving.

“Blast, this has been a dreadfully long day,” Luna muttered with a sigh, unceremoniously plopping down in the dirt. I’ve never wanted the day to end this badly before, not even when I was Nightm--… She did not finish the thought, banishing the shameful memories.

If only Celestia had been preoccupied a moment longer, then she could have made her escape. No matter, a half truth would have to suffice. Louder, she continued, “I am merely disappointed that I was not able to preserve more of the forest from the landslide than I did. The amount of damage caught me by surprise. I’m afraid I’ve become out of practice with my magic.”

It was only half of the issue, but the truth of it seemed to assuage Celestia’s worry and Luna knew she wouldn’t press further. Still, Celestia had already seen the effect that the damage had on her sister, so as much as Luna tried to pass off her reaction she could not get out of Celestia’s commentary completely.

“Don’t be hard on yourself, Luna. You’re still getting your bearings and adjusting to all the changes that have happened for you. I could understand you being upset with yourself if this was before… you know. But it’s not.”

Luna turned and faced her wearily, ears pricked in guarded interest.

“Honestly, you got the short end of the stick dealing with all those falling projectiles. Melting snow is a piece of cake compared to what you had to contend with, and the forest may have caught fire without your efforts.”

“Yes, yes, it could have been worse. It always can be worse.” Luna dismissed, ending in a whisper. The day had been emotionally draining, and now that the adrenaline was wearing off she could feel the exhaustion seeping in. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up. “... Sister?”

“Yes, Luna?” The concern was back in her eyes.

“I… I need some time to myself. Is it alright if we work on separate tasks for the cleanup?”

“... Sure. Just let me know if you need anything.”

………

Time moved swiftly as the valley cleanup progressed. Luna assigned herself the task of ‘replanting the flora,’ a job she was anxious to perform. The sight of splintered wood and broken limbs sent pangs of guilt through her, and Luna was eager to assuage the nagging feeling as quickly as possible. If there was even a little she could do to restore the pines-- preserve a piece of her foalhood-- she would do anything in her power to do it.

She rode in the air on the breadth of her mighty wings, grasping entire uprooted trees in her magical aura and securing them in the ground. Her work was not limited to the valley floor; It also took her up the slopes and even to shallow cliff ledges.

It was a tedious task, first locating trees that had not been too badly damaged, then finding appropriate places to put them, and finally repairing any major disfigurements. The work was challenging enough that Luna was able to keep her mind off of things for a couple of blissful hours. She was at peace with herself, fulfilled.

Alas, as with all good things it came to an end. The work, as varied as it was, soon became a routine and the routine left room for thoughts. Before she knew it, Luna’s troubles were at the forefront of her mind and she still had no idea what to do about them.

Our strained relationship, my princess duties, the distrust and fear of my subjects, the possibility that my subjects are right to fear me, all of my secrets that are to come to light--Luna listed off the issues one by one, agonizing over them until she could focus on her work no longer. She closed her eyes, choking back a sob. The issues were so pressing that, try as she might, she could not stop her thoughts from spiraling. She felt herself become more and more despondent as the minutes passed.

A rustling sound came from nearby, followed by soft twittering. Her ears twitched at the noise, but it wasn’t until the tweeting abruptly turned into a rougher call that she was able to break free from the prison of her mind. She raised her head, searching for the source of the noise. To the right, she found it.

There on the branches of a fallen tree that she had been about to move stood a black-capped chickadee, plumage ruffled to twice its size. The little songbird cocked its head to the side and stared at her curiously, tweeting out a softer call.

“Greetings to thee, my dear sweet chickadee,” Luna rhymed to it fondly, mindful to keep her voice low lest she scare the poor creature. “My, you are a sight for sore eyes.”

The bird flew to the snow covered ground and took a couple of hops toward her, eliciting a breathy laugh.

“Though I had heard the bird song earlier,” she continued, “I had yet to lay eyes on a single soul ‘til now. I am relieved that life will go on after all that has happened here.”

She recalled the eerie silence that had followed their fight and shuddered at what could have been, what would have been should they have failed. Though it wasn’t the best outcome, at least the valley was salvageable.

At least I can make it right, she added.

And she was going to make it right to the valley dwellers, one tree at a time. Her heart swelled with new resolve, and in the back of her mind she had the first real flicker of doubt that she was tainted. Afterall, how could she still be that monster if she cared this much?

“Do not worry, fair chickadee. This forest, your home, will stand tall once more.”

I promise.

Author's Note

I'm so happy that this chapter is done and that I finally have new artwork for it. I sketched this chapter's picture last spring I think and there is even another one from earlier in the story still waiting. I'll eventually get to it... Anyway, I hope you liked the update. See you next chapter! :)

The Ball Drops

As the sun began the final leg of its descent in the evening sky, Luna scouted the last salvageable tree. It was a huge one, dangling from a ledge by its roots higher up in the mountains. It was a wonder that it had grown to such a size in an inhospitable place, let alone that it hadn’t been ripped away with the rest of the mountain trees.

Yes, unfortunately all but this one of the mountain trees had been mangled in the avalanche and she hadn’t been as successful as she had hoped in recovering the fallen ancients. It was a reminder that no matter how much she tried to heal, the wounds from this day went too deeply and were too far spread. In time they would heal, but the scars left behind would never fade away.

I will be content, she told herself mid-flight to the last tree. I have to be.

As much as it pained her, she knew when to admit defeat. There was no use fretting over something she could not change. Instead she fixed her attention on the pine in front of her. Having now done this hundreds of times over, she expertly righted the trunk and coaxed its massive roots back into the fissures that had been formed in the cliff face, presumably from the amount of time the tree had been there. Her last task, the last tree, was finished.

Mission accomplished and thoroughly exhausted, Luna allowed herself to sink down on the ledge and take a deep breath of the frigid mountain air. She let her mind wander as she gazed upon the cracks, thinking about the tree and how many centuries it must have been there for its roots to have broken through the mountainside, possibly even before her time.

Spying the winding river down below, she thought back on earlier in the day about the river serpent, and how angry he must have been to have woken up to two little ponies trotting through his territory. She really was relieved that she had been able to alleviate his suffering at the end, even if it had been caused by the creature’s own stupidity. No creature in its right mind would try to eat a shiny piece of metal, at least not without having a death wish.

As a gust of cold wind mercilessly buffeted her, she huddled closer to the tree trunk and looked down to shield her face from the wind. There, quite a ways below her on an adjacent mountain face, she caught a glimpse of the castle she had left behind through the swirling mist of clouds. She then spared a thought to the castle staff and the young princess they had left in charge while they were gone. She felt faintly worried at that thought, but she was too tired to give it any more attention. Surely a messenger would have arrived by now if anything had gone awry.

Finally her thoughts turned back to the very beginning of the day, when she had planned to ambush Celestia in the clearing. She had been so certain at the time that they were going to have a marvelous snowball fight, preferably ending with Celestia covered in snow. It seemed so inconsequential... trivial... foalish now in light of what had transpired. How different everything ended up being. It all seemed so long ago now, had it really been just that morning?

A sigh escaped her.

The air was thin this high up, and while the reduced oxygen usually didn’t bother Luna she found herself yawning with more and more frequency. The cold was also starting to get to her; Numbness was crawling up her limbs, immobilizing her. As her eyes were slowly sliding shut she shook out her pelt to rouse herself. This went for sometime. How long, Luna couldn’t say. All she knew was that sleep was beckoning her and she was losing the battle.

It was there on the edge of consciousness that Luna heard the flapping of wings. Not light and fast as one would hear from a small bird, but heavy and loud. In her near dream state, Luna mused on what sort of creature could be flying by. She saw in her imaginings a pegasus, but the sound did not fit. Then she imagined a griffin, but still no. She went on to a dragon, then a draconequus and so on … but then an image of her sister came unbidden to her mind, and suddenly Luna was wide awake blinking against the snowfall.

Sure enough, Celestia was down just below her levitating large pieces of the mountain that had broken off. While Luna had been re-planting the forest, Celestia had been working diligently to restore the mountainside. They had crossed paths a few times since they initially parted ways for the cleanup, but thankfully Celestia respected her space and hadn’t initiated conversation. Each time had been when Luna went to retrieve loose soil to pack around the tree roots; Apparently Celestia similarly needed some to secure her boulders.

At the time it had been a relief that Celestia was giving her space, but now Luna knew that her reprieve, like the day, was coming to an end. Anxiety prickled at her coat. She decided to wait a bit longer before revealing her presence, using the moment to survey her sister’s work. She certainly had made great progress, but there was still more to go. Much too much, actually. Really, it was almost sundown and she needed to stop. They had done more than enough for one day, and there was all of ponydom to help with the cleanup if they would only ask.

Hah! Asking was the problem, though. Princess-Workaholic-Celestia was not one to ask the help of her fellow Equestrians lightly, especially for something she considered her direct responsibility… as it would be in this case. Irritation sparked within Luna as she thought of how Celestia would most certainly respond to her.

Knowing that Celestia would veto any suggestions while in her clean-up mode, under the claim that she would be ‘derelict in her duties,’ Luna thought of all the ways she could bring it up to her. Talking alone would not be enough to sway her; If she brought it up directly, she knew that Celestia would flat out refuse and continue working, so intently focused she would get. But perhaps a distraction was in order. If she could distract her or derail her efforts for long enough, say until sundown, surely she would relent.

A smile tugged at her lips when a particularly mischievous idea came to mind, to finish what she had started in the clearing. Celestia was, after all, below her with her back exposed. There was no celestial aura to protect her now.

With hardly a thought, all of the snowballs she had hidden earlier appeared around her, ready for action. Waiting for the right moment, she busied herself with making a few fresh snowballs for good measure. She lifted one up and tested its weight in her magical aura. Satisfied, she raised it higher and looked back down toward her sister.

She was still there, hovering over an outcropping of boulders that she was pounding in. As she briefly stopped supporting them, some of the rubble immediately began sliding. She started towards it, sighing in relief as she caught it in time. She looked exhausted and worse for the wear, her alabaster coat sullied with dirt.

Yes, that was her big sister, who had never stopped working for the good of her country and was tirelessly working even now;

Her strong sister, who effortlessly protected her from the river serpent and stopped an avalanche when she could not;

Her kind sister, who forgave her when she couldn’t even forgive herself.

Suddenly the excitement left her as a heaviness settled back into her chest. Her eyes widened in panic as she realized what she had almost done. What am I doing? I’ll only make Celestia mad. Haven’t I tried her patience enough already?

Luna withdrew from the edge, depressed. What’s the point anyways? What’s the point to anything anymore? I can’t pretend that nothing happened between us. Everything is ruined, and it’s by my own hoof. I’m just a shadow of my former self. There’s no going back, so why even bother?

Just as she thought that, her magical grasp on the snowballs flickered out. It was in that moment that she registered that her magic-wielding issues seemed to be tied directly to her emotional instability, yet another problem she’d have to deal with later. Alarm shot through her and she barely contained a shout before fumbling to return her grip. She was seemingly successful, but then a high pitched yelp pierced through the wind.

Hoping against hope that it was for a different reason that Celestia had cried out, Luna did a quick scan of the snowballs she was holding. They all seemed to be there, until she looked toward the cliff edge: The one she had been aiming at her sister was missing. Her heart dropped somewhere in the vicinity of her hooves, and she held her breath desperately hoping Celestia would be too distracted to sense her presence. As the silence dragged on, however, she risked a peek over the edge. The regret was instantaneous. Terror gripped her; she could not look away, her fears were confirmed.

Celestia was steaming mad, and her cold eyes were glaring directly at Luna.

………

An array of blues and yellows colored the snowy landscape as the sun touched down on the mountain ridge. The angle of the sun cast long shadows on the valley, creating an exciting atmosphere for the ongoing fight below. The air was filled with huffs of indignation and light laughter as snowball after snowball sailed by, never quite hitting their intended targets. This went on for some time, one never gaining the upper hoof over the other. It seemed the opponents were equally matched this evening.

Luna’s heart had calmed down somewhat since the earlier scare, but she still had not fully recovered. She had really thought that she had stepped out of line, and that Celestia was going to… to punish her or something. Those hardened eyes were too close to the memory that haunted her dreams. Just thinking of it sent a twinge of fear through her, but it was leaps and bounds better than it had been. After the fight had broken out, she quickly realized that Celestia was simply responding in kind with her own stockpile of snowballs. She really seemed to be enjoying herself.

Luna was still wary though, and found herself constantly scanning her for signs of ill intent. She wished she could stop.

Her plan to distract Celestia had worked, but at a cost. She was now burdened by the realization that on some level she was afraid of her own sister. But… did she not have reason to? She loved her as sister and friend, but feared her as judge. The memory that replayed in her mind every night was of Celestia, looking past her with those hardened eyes and stating her millennium long sentence with cold finality. It was one of her most terrifying memories. The judgment had been swift and merciless. ~~But not nearly as merciless as she had been.~~

One of the first steps of healing was figuring out the trauma one had though, right? So she was going in the right direction. Even so, the last thing Luna wanted to do was burden Celestia with that knowledge, in light of the suffering she had gone through at the loss.

If it were up to her, Celestia would never hear of this particular detail. However, she knew the truth needed to come out. She only wished it didn’t have to be this very evening. Again, she regretted the promise she made to her sister.

The strain of the snowball fight was beginning to show on both sides. While the exchanges continued on without missing a beat, the sagging of their fur coats, sopping wet, and the barely contained shivering was wearing on them. Celestia had even begun to snort in exertion. Luna didn’t consider that particular detail a win, though; Celestia was a larger alicorn, afterall, and she felt that it wouldn’t be too much longer before she joined her.

Soon after, they both ran out of steam. The snowball exchange slowed down then stopped all together. Luna was ready to speak up and call a draw, but she took one look at Celestia’s expression and stopped herself. Celestia’s eyes were bright and far from beaten. She looked like she was merely catching her breath during the standoff, ready to start again at any moment. Her sister was truly an amazing mare.

Where does she get all that energy from? Luna shook her head in disbelief. She thought of a way to subtly end the fight, but unfortunately it involved a bit of cheekiness and lots of running. She decided that some banter was in order.

“Hey Celestia!” Luna shouted, adopting a bored expression. She took a deep breath to keep from panting. “It seems that you are out of your element! I’ve already hit you once and you have yet to land a hit on me. Or perhaps your age is finally catching up to you?”

“What?” Celestia snorted. “Who are you calling old, you fossil—?”

In a flash Luna picked up one of Celestia’s own snowballs and threw it at her from behind, hitting her squarely in the back. Celestia screeched and comically reared back, unfurling her wings to try and dislodge the snow.

“That’s twice now I’ve hit you! It’s settled, I WIN!!!” Luna took off in a gallop, and Celestia was quick to pursue.

“You haven’t won anything!” She roared. “Get back here and face me, COWARD!” Celestia was on the offense, pelting her with snowballs that she somehow was managing to evade.

Luna hadn’t laughed so hard in… she didn’t even know how long, and her face was stretched so wide in a smile that it hurt. Her heart yearned for more moments like these with her sister. A wall so tall and insurmountable had grown between them, unyielding to the centuries, yet this was undeniable proof that it was starting to crumble; all Luna had to do was keep chipping away at it, day by day. Even if it took another hundred years, she needed to press on. As hard as it was, as uncomfortable and as painful as it was going to be, she couldn’t give up the fight before the battle even started.

It was so tempting to not even try, though. The success of all of her efforts hinged upon Celestia trying, too. Relationships are a two-way street, afterall, and she would be kidding herself if she thought that it would only be hard on her. What worried Luna was that Celestia had been hurt deeply by her foalish actions, and there were undoubtedly lasting effects from that. She may be sticking around now, but would Celestia really be willing to put in the work once Luna broke her silence on her imprisonment? Would she stay once she heard the ugly, unadulterated truth? Or would it tear a greater rift between the two?

Worrying about it would do her no good. She needed to trust that Celestia wouldn’t be scared away by the mess that was her little sister, that she would stay by her side no matter what. She needed her to. But even if she didn’t, then Luna would ~~fall off that bridge~~ cross that bridge when she got there.

No, she would trust her sister. They were going to get through this, not separately but together. Happier days were ahead, she just had to believe it. This day may be fleeting, but there would be more times like this again. As Luna galloped through the snow, she felt hope well within her. She would not give up, she would not give in to the depression of her thoughts.

Luna kept running, not because she was a coward, but because she did not want Celestia to see the tears in her eyes.

Author's Note

And so Luna finally gets her snowball fight, six chapters later. ;) The story is really starting to line up with the vision I had in my head at the beginning. The next chapter will be the last, and it's going to require more time and thought before I start writing it. I want to make sure that nothing gets left out of my consideration. Thank you for reading! ^^

A Mare Out of Time

The sun was nearly set, touching down on the horizon and ushering in the night. Luna’s night. She felt a familiar tug; Soon she would need to call forth the moon. Time was passing all too quickly, but Luna reminded herself that in the winter the days were always much shorter than the nights. She was still adjusting to there being seasons again.

The clouds from earlier had not returned, affording the sisters a perfect view of the setting sun from where they now sat, at the top of the tallest mountain’s peak overlooking the capital. Celestia was perched across from her, eyes shining in the firelight. The wind this high up was unhindered and they both kept awkwardly adjusting their manes as it whipped around them mercilessly. A pitiful fire was between them, nearly smothered by the wind. It was only by magic that the fire was still going.

The temperature steadily dropped with the dwindling light and Luna scooted closer to the flames, preferring fire burns over frostbite. She forwent casting any more spells to preserve her strength; a full twenty-four hours had passed since her last slumber and she needed to stay awake. Besides, this cold was a mere trifle compared to what she had suffered through on the… Regardless, she had survived much worse.

Celestia eyed her intently and Luna opened her mouth to question her, but then she abruptly stood up and lit her horn. A golden aura, not unlike the celestial aura, expanded and surrounded them with a warm embrace. The wind died down and the fire grew to a healthy size. Seeing Luna’s questioning gaze, Celestia settled back down and shot her a smile. “We won’t have any eavesdroppers this evening.”

As a shudder passed through her frame, Luna snarked, “There better not be.” After a moment’s hesitation, she added, “Thank you.”

The beaming smile she received was too much. Averting her eyes, Luna looked around their little bubble. Celestia’s golden shoes were nearby, ruined from the earlier scuffle. They would have to be reforged once they returned to the city. She had somehow managed to keep track of them in all the chaos; How, Luna had no idea, especially considering that she had lost them in the first place.

As if reading her mind, Celestia gestured toward them with a huff. “Yes, Luna, they are all accounted for. I can keep track of my things.”

Luna narrowed her eyes and cracked a smile, “Didn’t seem that way earlier.”

“Well, no,” Celestia blushed, “But that was because I wasn’t trying. I took them off for a reason. They’re so heavy, and the last thing I wanted to do was put them back on.”

“Really?” Luna blinked in surprise. A glow surrounded her horn and she removed one of her blue shoes; her hoof felt so exposed and she grimaced. She lifted her forehoof and swung it, testing the weight. It was quite a bit lighter; She’d never noticed that before. “...but that’s not what you said earlier,” she muttered, confused. “You only said that you liked the feeling of snow on your hooves.”

“You know, it’s just, UGH, those nobles earlier were so infuriating.” Celestia shifted the conversation as if she hadn’t heard her, dragging a hoof down her face. “The nerve they had, holding me up when I had the day scheduled off. My celestial aura did nothing to dissuade them. Not that they haven’t pulled something like this before, but I expected better of them this time; my mistake. I had been looking forward to today for so long, and then that happened, and you went ahead and left without me… I couldn’t stand the weight of them any longer.”

“Oh.” Guilt was creeping up, flushing Luna’s muzzle. It made sense, in hindsight. Of course something would happen as soon as she tries to leave, she thought. That was a roundabout way of saying that the shoes were merely on the receiving end of Celestia’s frustrations. Luna swallowed the lump in her throat. “I hadn’t realized that was why you were taking so long to come out. I suppose I was too eager to leave.”

“I don’t blame you, although I won’t deny that I was a bit miffed with you for not talking to me first. I could have used your help.” Celestia sighed. “The moment their backs were turned I took off as fast as I could and got as lost as possible. I figured you wanted to be left alone with your thoughts instead of spending time with your big sister so I was going to make the most of exploring on my own. Then you called me. I was really surprised. I mean, I was so shocked that I tripped over my own hooves!”

“Tch, what little faith you have in me. I wanted to spend the day with you, too, just sometimes…” Luna bit her cheek, trying to find the right words for her conflicting feelings and overwhelming emotions. She couldn’t. “…sometimes I need to sort myself out before I can be good company. Regardless, I came up with the ultimate sister bonding experience and then you just had to go and ruin it.”

“I ruined it?”

“If not for you, and your snowball shield, of course---”

“---Please don’t call it that!” Celestia cut in.

“---My ambush of fun would have succeeded otherwise!”

“Didn’t you get your revenge already?” She groaned. “It seemed like you had a blast one-upping me on the mountainside when my back was turned. Plus the cheap shot during our standoff.”

The response Luna had ready died on her tongue at the mention of the second snowball fight. She tensed, unease filling her as she was reminded of her most recent dilemma: the fear she harbored for her sister. Emotions were still too raw for Luna to address what had happened there and she felt herself pulling back from her sister, retreating into the questionable safety of her mind.

Unfortunately, Celestia noticed when she remained silent for a moment too long and she was quick to pull her out of her thoughts. “Luna, what’s wrong? Was it something I said?”

“Pay it no mind… please.” The plea came out hoarse, her voice betraying her roiling emotions.

A horrid silence filled the air between them, so much like earlier in the day. This much was clear: Celestia was mulling over whether to push her for answers or to leave it be. After what felt like an eternity, a look of defeat passed over her face signaling that she had decided to let it go… at least for the moment, which Luna was grateful for. The tension gradually left her and she slumped in relief.

“Hey, I had a lot of fun today,” Celestia began, treading lightly. “The snowball fight was a great idea. The last time I had this much fun was when Twilight was just a filly. Thank you for today. I… haven’t been myself lately.”

“I haven’t been myself for a long time.” The words left Luna’s mouth before she could stop them.

A sudden flash of light mercifully dragged their attention away to the populace below them. The bustling city of canterlot was far below them, already aglow with light for another sleepless night. The flash was apparently a part of a light show near the central fountain, however, so there was nothing to worry about.

Luna marveled at the ancient city, built not long after she had left Equestria. Stone walls and golden accents, monuments as large as buildings, spires reaching toward the stars--- no expense was spared in the construction of the capitol, and it was a testament to unicorn ingenuity. Its law-defying location of the mountainside spoke of the massive unicorn involvement in its construction. Even without the aid of modern technology, the realized vision of the ancient builders far surpassed that of contemporary architects.

Throughout all of the city’s history, the population as a whole was predominantly unicorn. Most ponies assumed that it was because the nobility, namely the strongest and most magically inclined unicorns, flooded the city in the beginning to draw near their monarch; a fight to climb the social ladder. Although there were a few outliers to support that fanciful theory, the true reason for the unicorn population was much more mundane, according to what Luna had gleaned from Celestia’s wistful remembrances.

The fact that most ponies tended to overlook was that a high number of unicorns resided in the city long before its completion. These ponies of course were none other than the construction workers themselves and most stayed behind after the work was finished. They took up permanent residence, establishing their Canterlot roots for countless generations to come.

In fact, many of the family lines of the current nobility had roots tracing back not to the nobility of the time but to the city’s humble builders, a reminder they sorely needed. Unlike the modern day nobles, these were honest souls that came from every corner of Equestria, filled with such zeal for their country that they answered the crown’s call to raise up a new capital at the cost of their years. Celestia cherished every last one of them.

The enormous mountainside city was now home to more than 100,000 ponies, and that was only a fraction of Equestria’s population as a whole. Ponykind had proliferated in her absence, and the country’s borders reached farther than ever before. In that moment, Luna had never felt so small under the weight of the countless lives that depended on her. She turned to her sister, who was silently watching her on the other side of the fire. They needed somepony strong to lead them, to protect them. There were just so many.

“Equestria has grown so much,” Luna broke the silence. “So great a burden, so many lives depending on.... on us now. It weighs heavily upon me, sister. How do you bear it?”

Celestia did not answer right away, shifting her gaze to the horizon. Luna followed suit, taking in the pinks and purples of the twilight sky.

After a moment, she replied, “How did you handle it before?”

“I stepped up and did my best, but back then everything was different,” Luna protested, frustration furrowing her brow. “Ponykind was much smaller and our suffering was great at the hooves of those demons. There was nopony else to stand up to them. Truly I know not how we were able to best those creatures, the Elements withstanding. But even Harmony found worthier bearers for those, with time.” She sighed. “Now Equestria is recognized as a world power among the nations, and there are other alicorns now. It stands to reason that the bar has been set higher than ever before as well. I don’t know that I’m even what our little ponies want, let alone what they need.”

“Principles don’t change with time, no matter the situation. You get up each day and do your best. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s the only way that I have gotten through my reign.” There was weight to her words and her eyes were unfocused, as if she was reliving a memory. “Don’t sell yourself short, Luna. You are a Founding Mother of this country, of pony civilization as we know it. You are a pillar upon which Equestria was built.”

Luna snorted in disbelief. “What did I do that was so great? I rotted away while you worked your flank off. You did all of this, not me. ”

“Equestria wouldn’t be the same without you,” Celestia’s eyes bored into hers, a tinge of desperation coloring her words. “You and I founded Equestria together. It took so many years. Have you forgotten how hard you and I worked alongside each other, setting up the country?”

“...no.”

“You, Luna, were my inspiration to keep going, but even after you were gone, your ideas lived on to shape the country. I suppose this is as good of a time as any to confess that I read your diary.”

“Wait, my… diary?” A vague memory stirred, bringing with it an unsettling feeling.

“I found your list of propositions. Your take on the issues the country was facing at the time was nothing short of ingenious, and then all the thought and detail that you put into those documents for structuring the government? I was not the only one impressed. Suffice to say, it didn’t take long before most of your ideas were written into law. Your name was on every single official proposal, I made sure of it.”

For a moment, Luna’s mind drifted away from their conversation as she chased down the memory. It was there, just out of reach, and anxiety twisted her stomach. As she was about to give up, it came to her with sudden clarity. Her diary, the one she was never without. It went everywhere with her so that at the slightest inspiration she could capture her thoughts. Being a business-minded pony, it rarely included her personal feelings about her relationships, but rather was full of her viewpoints on how best to help all of ponydom.

At least, it had always stayed with her until… until she had her breakdown. In hindsight, maybe if she had written down her feelings sooner it could have been avoided. It made sense that she had forgotten about the book; it was the epitome of her wretchedness. She was at her breaking point when she finally gave voice to those treacherous thoughts in ink, filling page after page. She could still vividly remember the shaking of her hooves and the blurring of her eyes as sobs wracked her body. As she reread her work, it was then that the darkness of her heart bled out of her eyes like tears. The diary disappeared after that.

“Do you still have it? My diary?” Luna’s voice hitched. She could not stop the tears from escaping her eyes.

“...Yes.” Celestia’s own eyes shined with worry. “I’m so sorry for looking through your diary, Luna. There was no ill-will behind my snooping.”

“No, no, I’m not upset with you. I would have done the same if our positions were reversed. I’d actually like to see it after we get back.” Luna began scrubbing the tears from her face. It may not be the best idea, but a small part of her wanted to behold the evidence of her descent into madness. That, and she needed to hold in her own hooves the proof that she had been a good pony, once upon a time.

“I was desperate to understand what happened, what went wrong, but there was nothing.” Celesita continued. “Instead I found a treasure trove of resources, the means for Equestria’s prosperity.”

Luna paused at that, embarrassment warming her ears. “Surely that is an exaggeration. I wrote those propositions never expecting them to see the light of day. But did you really not find anything more personal in my diary?”

“There were only pages upon pages of your business entries in that diary. Although, I’m fairly certain that you wrote more but I couldn’t read it. The rest of the pages were blotted out with black ink.”

“...I did write more. It was not for anyone’s eyes but my own, though.” Luna shuddered, but not from the cold. She left it at that and Celestia kept her thoughts to herself.

“So from an official standpoint, I really am a Founding Mother?”

“You are as integral to Equestria as I am.”

“Be that as it may,” Luna had to ignore the way the hopefulness left Celestia’s eyes. “You are the one everypony wants, not me. You’ve earned that right. I feel like I do not belong here.”

“And why is that?” A determined look passed over her face.

“You know why,” Luna said bitterly, staring into the flames and imagining herself being swallowed by them. “I am a traitor, and a mare out of time. I do not belong anywhere.”

“Then make a place for yourself,” she challenged her, “Starting right here, right now. A place where you can be free, where you don’t have to hide any part of yourself, a place where I can help you.”

An uneasy quiet fell over them. Celestia was staring her down. The last thing Luna wanted to do was disillusion Celestia about her imprisonment, but there was now a silent expectation in the air for her to speak. Luna steadied herself with a deep breath. She was still struggling to put everything into words, and worries from earlier came to mind.

How would she react when Luna gave voice to the bitter hate she had felt? What would she think of the havoc she had wreaked even while imprisoned? Would she have any sympathy for the tortures and torments that Luna faced alone against for so long?

There was only one way to find out.

Luna opened her mouth.

I’ve made my bed, now I must lie in it.

Author's Note

In this chapter we got a glimpse of Luna's past and delved into her narrow perspective on the influence she had in founding Equestria. This was supposed to be part of the last chapter but it got too long, so here it is! And it took less than a month to write, so I'm really excited about that. That's the power of comments for you. Now I hope that I can keep the momentum going to dive into chapter 8!

And yes, I totally ripped off the term "Founding Fathers" and applied that to the diarchy. Because, why not? ;)

Broken Trust

Luna’s thoughts were a mess, all clamoring for her attention yet none providing her the break she needed to begin her retelling of the last millenium. Her story, not second hoof knowledge of ancient events as retold by a historian. She had read enough history books in her spare time since returning to know just how ignorant Equestria’s historians really were. She had been stuck on the moon for most of it yet she still knew more than those pompous intellectuals.

No, this was a personal first-hoof account which would be much more humiliating. It would provide her sister an inside perspective to explain away the oddities that nopony in history could figure out. Oddities that she never wanted to be connected to, but was, to her shame.

Amid the chaos, one train of thought stood out from among the rest, something that had been bothering her for a while. Like a fly that wouldn’t go away, it nagged her until she finally allowed it to solidify in her jumbled mind.

How could a vile pony such as myself be integral to modern day Equestria?

From her observations she had determined that the country really had gotten along just fine without her, despite Celestia’s insistence to the contrary. Her sister had been able to control the moon to provide Equestria with the nights it minimally required, after all, and the dream realm hardly needed guarding if there wasn’t a Nightmare Moon figuratively running around. She was nopony to look up to, so even the excuse of her being a role model didn’t explain away her sister's insistence on this issue.

There must be something else that Celestia isn’t telling me.

Fear coursed through her once more. All these words about making a place for herself were nice, but her pounding heart was telling her that they were just that: words. Empty promises that might have been true, under different circumstances. If they weren’t being directed towards her, of all ponies.

This all must be for information extraction, Luna’s poisonous thoughts supplied. Why else go through all this trouble to regain a hardened criminal’s trust? She prides herself on being thorough. She knew I’d never reveal the full story had I been imprisoned immediately, but the joke’s on her. She’ll never know it all.

Where had that come from? Luna tried to fight against the slanderous thoughts, but she couldn’t reconcile the misgivings she had about being so open with somepony who could have her imprisoned again, one who had done just that so long ago. Despite her best efforts she still didn’t trust Celestia in this matter, regardless of how much she wanted to. The paranoia was too strong.

It didn’t help that in every conversation the sisters had had up to that point, the hesitant way Celestia sometimes spoke made it feel like there was an asterisk at the end of each sentence. Her help was conditional, and Luna was pretty sure she knew what that condition was.

Sure, Celestia knew full well that Luna attempted to plunge the world in night eternal, that’s what secured her a one way ticket to the moon in the first place, but it was what she did afterwards while on the moon that could make her rescind her offer. She was waiting for her to mess up, or for more evidence to pop up.

I... actually don’t trust my own sister, Luna realized with a start. No wonder it’s been so awkward between us.

A part of her disagreed with her harsh assessment, but the other part demanded that she sway on the side of caution and humor these doubtful thoughts in case everything did go south and Celestia turned on her.She couldn’t blame her if she did, but it still hurt to think that all of this was an effort to lower her defenses. The more she tried to deny it, however, the more it settled in her mind that it was the case, because it was Luna-Nightmare Moon that they were talking about.

For all of the painful relationship building they had gone through the last few months, the joy of acting like sisters again, the hope of living normally once more, it would all come to an end at the gravity of her crimes, crimes that Celestia must have suspected but was not yet fully aware of. This was the end result. Celestia would smoke out her rat and then Luna… Luna would be alone again.

Might as well pull off the bandage and get it over with, Luna sighed. There was no fight in her.She couldn’t go to prison a second time and expect to live through it, but the punishment seemed inevitable.

For the sake of the good times they had together, Luna would at least dignify Celestia with a retelling of her crimes. She would pander to the audience and say what they expected to hear, much like Equestria’s historians. Oh, she’d give Celestia a reason to lock her away and throw away the key. A pretender such as her, however, did not have any right to know more than that. No, if she was going back to prison then Luna would at least keep what little pride she had intact. Her sufferings would never see the light of day, if she had her way.

But if she really is being sincere--- Luna stopped herself. It was easier to believe that Celestia was using her than the alternative. She didn’t want to place any hope on that thought. It would make what she had to say next unbearable.

Luna, now more certain than ever as to how to begin, stood up and turned away from Celestia, steeling her nerves. She could not face her with what she was about to divulge. She would begin by highlighting specific infamous events in Equestria’s history, she decided, steadily building up before going in for the blow.

By the end of it, Celestia would finally see the monster standing before her.

………

“Do you know why I tried to dethrone you?” The question might as well have been whispered in the deadened space. Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears.

“Tell me,” Celestia finally responded, face impassive.

“I was ignored, and forgotten.” Luna continued. “Nopony appreciated my work, my beautiful night. Since most ponies slept through it, I adapted. I walked the dream realm, guarding our little ponies’ dreams and vanquishing their nightmares.

“But then, even that was frowned upon. My calling, taken from me. It came to an end when a royal guard yelled at me.” She heard a small gasp, but she opted to ignore it. “Why did he yell at his princess? Because she stopped his nightmare. He sought me out in the waking world to tell me to keep my prying little eyes to myself, as if I was spying on those in our employ.”

“What did you do?” Celestia asked. Nervous, tapping her forehoof.

“Nothing,” she answered with a shake of her head. “The guard was off duty and he was part of the higher ranks. I knew that the Captain of the Royal Guard would side with the guardspony. I had had an altercation with the captain’s relation, a noblepony of some sort. I suppose that’s where my distaste for the nobility stemmed from.”

Celestia took it all in, silently urging her to continue. This was painful already, Luna decided. It was time to switch gears. A history lesson was in order.

“Do you remember the noble uprising of 136?”

“...” Celestia seemed taken aback by the shift. A moment passed, but then she nodded slightly. “Somewhat. Remind me.”

“Sixteen nobles of the lowest station banded together in an attempt to overthrow the Crown,” Luna continued with a grimace, “namely you since I was already out of the picture. The plot was spearheaded by a certain individual by the name of Steady Compass. After the plot was discovered and the rebellion squashed, he confessed to the crime and not less than twenty counts of manipulation and coercion, including withholding of official documents and theft of royal property.

“His motive? The Crown was stubborn and close-minded, more invested in seeking peace with the other nations than caring for the needs of her little ponies. After negotiations fell on deaf ears, he took the matter into his own hooves with the help of his sympathizers. Unfortunately for them, they were found out before they could do any damage…”

The story she wanted to tell began to fall into place, the narrative leading them ever closer to her dark secrets. She started with commonly known historical mishaps, keeping each one short but hitting all the main issues. A noble here, a commoner there, some foreigners sprinkled in, all harming Equestrians at large. Every once in a while Luna would glance at Celestia to gauge her reaction; she was keeping up, patiently waiting to see where she was going with all of this.

Then she moved on to more obscure incidents, where history acknowledged something happened but had no understanding of why it did, until finally she delved into unrecorded events that only Celestia was old enough to have witnessed. As the minutes ticked by, her sister’s brow became more furrowed. At long last, they reached the finale. Something that nopony but Celestia should have known.

“...Perhaps the best kept secret of them all was the terrorist strike of 569. It was an event so terrible that it was forbidden to be recorded, and if any records of the event were found they were to be destroyed immediately. It was a collaboration of three ponies and two griffins. Sound familiar?”

Another glance at Celestia revealed a grave expression. Was it her imagination, or was there a hardened glint to Celestia’s eyes? That was a yes, then. It seemed that she was beginning to suspect what Luna was leading up to. Her chest was so tight it hurt to breathe, yet she forged on.

“Although all five were bent on Equestria’s destruction, one of those wretched creatures was especially despicable. A pegasus named Lightning Strike, codename ‘Boom,’ had slipped through the cracks of society and wanted revenge for all that he had suffered.

“It was his idea to bomb the capitol and all the surrounding villages simultaneously. It was only with the help of the other two pony defectors and the griffins’ knowledge of explosives that they were able to pull it off. Only partially, that is, because “Boom” went MIA mere hours before the bombings were to take place. He didn’t perform his special move, thunderboom, at the appointed time, which would have set off all the bombs together. Instead the others had to light the bombs by hoof.

“Casualties were low for the level of destruction those five wrought, but it was such a scandal that anypony would intend to cause the deaths of their fellow Equestrians. It was a dark day indeed, so dark that it never repeated. The Crown made sure of it.”

Luna took a steadying breath, not risking another glance at her sister. This was it. Her incrimination was nigh.

“Now what do all of these ponies have in common? They were the ignored, the rejects, the lessers of society. Time and time again, the downtrodden from all stages of life would rise against Equestria, aggrieved by the Crown. They… were not alone in their actions.”

It took everything in Luna not to run away. Tears had begun to gather in the corners of her eyes, but she willed them away. Something stirred inside her, a need for self-preservation.

“I’ll tell you what else they had in common.” Luna stared into the flames, feeling far away. Truths and lies blended together until they were spilling forth from her tongue.

“They all had a monster stalking their dreams, exploiting their fears and weaknesses, instigating discontent and rebellion. Every uprising, every case of corruption, every act of terror. Celestia, I was there. The Coordinator, I was called. Even locked away on the moon, the influence of Nightmare Moon was far reaching. I rained down horrors upon Equestria, upon you. I had so much hatred within me, for you, for Equestria, for those ungrateful little ponies!”

Luna took a shuddering breath at the spike of anger, the echo of an age old hurt. The feeling faded as quick as it came. Slowly she unclenched her teeth. “I was a madmare in control of the dream realm. I couldn’t hurt you directly, so I used whatever means I had available to me. I sent pawn after pawn after you. Even with all that, though, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. The hate I had was all-consuming, unquenchable.”

Luna’s voice dropped dangerously low as the anger resurged, and she finally locked eyes with Celestia as she spat, “You couldn’t pay enough for what you did to me.”

She could feel the hatred within her coloring her expression, and she was shaking, full of emotion not quite her own. Celestia flinched at the sight and unconsciously leaned away from her. Was it anger, or was that fear in her eyes? Luna couldn’t say.

This was the final test, to see if her sister was being truthful, to put her mind at ease either way. There was no getting out of this without ruining their relationship further. It would be better to be condemned by a falsehood than to be hurt by the truth.

She fully expected Celestia to drop the guise of the caring and understanding sister she had shown her so far and to reveal that hard face of judgment she had come to fear, but Celestia was silent as she processed the hideousness of Nightmare Moon’s, Luna’s, actions.

“So this is how you really feel.” Celestia finally spoke, voice full of pain and anger. There was passion in those watery eyes, a far cry from the stone cold face that had locked her away. “While I was struggling to rule alone, you convinced ponies that I was a dictator? You turned ponies into rebels, thieves, murderers? You caused all of that?”

The accusations were hard hitting, each one jamming the knife further into her heart. Her sister took the lies hook, line, and sinker, and Luna was not about to defend herself. She needed to test her further, to see if this was the true face of Princess Celestia.

“My hooves are stained darker than you ever knew.” The half-truth slipped out easily. She closed her eyes and turned away.

This was what she wanted, right? Shut out the one pony that could hurt her?

Or am I pushing away the only person that could help?

“No--but wait.” Celestia muttered. Luna wasn’t listening. She was struggling to hold back the storm raging within, her mind dredging up the distant past that would forever plague her conscience.

The Coordinator. Ha. That was an exaggeration if she ever heard one. The truth was much more pathetic, demeaning for somepony of her position. She truly had been cut off from all of her powers, at least through the usual means. Many years passed before Nightmare Moon reconnected with the dream realm, and by the time she had she was bitter and terribly lonely.

She was desperate. Nopony in his right mind would keep the Nightmare Queen company, so she sought out those that were just as unhinged as she was. There were no pawns to do her bidding. But still, there was guilt by association, and Luna would be lying if she said that she hadn’t given those excuses-for-ponies any consultations.

Every single pony she ‘influenced’ already had a deep seated hate for their princess and Equestrian society. They had existing plans in the works, and she merely humored them for her own benefit. Not that she was going to tell Celestia that. It didn’t make her any less complicit.

Looking back, it was hard to believe that such vile individuals had lived among their innocent and gentle race, hurting the very life blood of the country. They stood out in the dreamscape, they always did. She walked their dreams, sympathized with their pain and their anger. She had seen a bit of herself in each and every one. They all had been hurt so deeply that they desired to be heard and to be seen, to lash out at their persecutors. Something which Luna could help them with.

She regretted her actions with every fiber of her being. Many innocents had been caught in the crossfire, but time and time again she rationalized her actions, put her needs above others, and carried on. If only she hadn’t been hurting so much herself, she might have seen the painful truth sooner…

It felt like eons passed, but then Celestia started talking and it really couldn’t have been more than a minute. The anger had left her voice, though there was still weariness in those ancient eyes.

“--I must say that I was expecting some of that,” she spoke quietly but firmly, drawing Luna’s attention back to her. “There was a spike in reports of night disturbances some years after your banishment. I didn’t see it at first, but as the trend continued I had begun to suspect that you were able to terrorize the ponydom through the dream realm.”

A heavy weight settled in Luna’s heart. She had suspected her after all. She thought Celestia had, but to hear those words straight from the horse’s mouth hurt.

“It was sickening,” Luna whispered, closing her eyes. She felt ill. “I...was sickening. There is no punishment great enough to make up for what I did, I see that now. It didn’t have to be that way, yet I made it that way.”

“This news is troubling,” Celestis continued. “As with any crime committed against ponykind, it makes my heart swell with rage. And although I had my suspicions, it was upsetting to hear it confirmed. I did not mean to raise my voice.

“But Luna, there’s something that troubles me. With everything you’ve said up to this point, you’d have me believe that you coerced ponies into coordinating and executing terrorist attacks?”

She waited for an answer, and seemed disappointed when Luna kept her mouth shut. “I’d be more concerned about your involvement except that I personally headed each of those investigations,” Celestia’s voice hitched, and Luna started as something glistened on her cheek. “I interviewed the suspects. Sister… there was no trace of your magic on them.”

And just like that, the story that Luna had spun began to unravel.

“Luna, I don’t hold you responsible for those incidents.” Her voice softened. “The Elements weren’t able to purify you yet of the dark magic you subjected yourself to, because I wasn’t pure enough to wield them alone.

“But what I don’t understand, though, is why would you so blatantly lie to me? Those ponies acted of their own free will. There is a difference! What if I had you imprisoned again? What then? Why tell me a half truth and pass it off as the whole truth?” Celestia’s face finally crumpled at the betrayal. “Are we really so distant that you’d have me believe a falsehood over the truth? I know I messed things up between us. I am so, so sorry. But what else must I do for you to trust me?”

“Forgive me,” she breathed, the simple answer the most open she had been all evening.

“You already have my forgiveness!” A touch of exasperation entered her voice. “What more can I give? Honestly I cannot help but imagine the worst now. What could be so horrifying that you would try to hide it? Please sister, answer me. I’m begging you!

“What happened to you on the moon?”

Author's Note

Here is the long overdue update. Even now after so many months there are things that could be better, but I do not have the brainpower to get there. I hope you enjoyed regardless. I'd also like to specially thank Zirkalda for all the feedback, especially on the last chapter. That's honestly what kept me going even when the challenges I faced with the story seemed overwhelming and impossible to get around. Once this is all over I'm going to go back and edit all the chapters to make the story more cohesive. Let me know what you thought of the update, and other than that I will see you in the next chapter. :)