The Piano Man: Act II

Chapters

A Walk Through Town
Meeting The Royalty - Part 1
Meeting The Royalty - Part 2
Party Reasonably
Reflections
Midnight Musings
Cadance's Troubles - Part 2
Keys' Statement
The Scene of the Crime
Talking Time
Trust (Revised)
Unwanted Memories
An Eventful Morning - Part 1
An Eventful Morning - Part 2
An Eventful Morning - Part 3
All That Glitters...
Meeting the Parents
Religion
Preparations
The Trial
Last Words
Epilogue: Part 1 - Afterparty
Epilogue: Part 2 - Twilight
Monday Syndrome
Cadance's Troubles - Part 1
Holiday Special: Fitzgeraldian Grandeur, Fitzgeraldian Tragedy

A Walk Through Town

Maneworthy is waiting patiently outside when I emerge.

I decided on formal. Choosing anything else for a meeting with royalty would be a foolish notion.

With that in mind, I’ve got long pants and a buttoned shirt. They both fit well, and keep with dark colours. I have to say that the similarity between Equestrian-made and Earth-made human clothes is unsettling.

Rarity is very good at her job.

“Excellent choice.” Maneworthy compliments the clothes, although his voice is still tinged with confusion.

I don’t have time to explain all of the strange quirks and nuances of human society, and make do with a weary look.

The doctor nods, and then turns to lead me up the hall. “We must hurry. I believe that they’re expecting us.”

“It’d be bad form to leave the princesses waiting.” I agree, falling into step with Maneworthy – which is harder than you would think. Walking with him is simple enough, but if I happen to focus on the doctor’s hoofsteps, then I get thrown off.

The halls in the clinic are so clean. It’s unbelievable how immaculate every last surface is.

I like it. It’s a shinning example of how much… better… Equestria is than earth.

“So, have you been enjoying yourself?” Maneworthy starts up some idle chitchat.

‘Why not? I can gab a little.’ I think to myself, before replying with a nonchalant “Well enough – although things are kinda boring. I’m going a little stir-crazy.”

“I can imagine.” Maneworthy chuckles. “Personally, I think you’re well enough by now to go out and spend some time in the city – with a carer, of course.”

“The city, eh?” I return the chuckle. “That’s a big step. No-pony’s even let me out of the ward yet.”

I pause. Now it is starting to sound like I’m complaining. Time to change the subject.

“What about you, doctor? You haven’t told me much about yourself.”

“Neither have you.” Maneworthy responds cheerily. It isn’t enough to disguise the point to his jab, but I still ignore it.

“True.” I unsubtly deflect the question. “So, are you married? Any ki- Uh, foals?”

Maneworthy nods, accepting that I’m still not willing to talk. “Married to a wonderful mare – Light Wing.”

“A Pegasus?” That interests me. I would have thought that their lifestyles would be too different.

“Yes.” Maneworthy hums thoughtfully. “My family didn’t exactly approve. They thought marrying a Pegasus would get in the way of my career.”

I grin. “And here you are. Personal physician for Celestia herself.”

“Indeed. Needless to say, the family reunion that year was a little awkward. It didn’t help that there were no other Pegasus.”

“Love is blind.” I look around. I haven’t been in these halls before – although they still look a lot like the ones around my room. The only change is in the signs and names on the doors. “So, any foals?”

“Soon.” Maneworthy seems to bristle with pride. I may not be a full adult myself, but I can always appreciate the radiant happiness that a soon-to-be father always gives off while they’re boasting. “Only two more months.”

“Congratulations.” I nod enthusiastically. “I’m sure you’ll be very proud. I doubt your wife could be in better care, all things considered.”

“Oh yes. I’ll make sure Light get’s everything she needs – and because we live in the palace, she gets waited on hoof and hoof.”

“The perks of the job, eh?” I’d be lying if I said I was still engrossed in the matter, but I’m too polite to change the subject so quickly. Right now I'm more interested in the expression 'hoof and hoof'. It sounds ridiculous.

We come to the stairwell, and Maneworthy starts to lead me downwards, still talking.

“To be honest, I’m not sure why she insists on having a midwife. She’s in the palace, and I’m always available. Taking care of you is the most work I’ve had to do in quite a while – after all, the princess doesn’t get sick all that often.”

“Mmmhmm.” I hum, looking around at the immaculate stairwell as we arrive at the ground floor. “So, this meeting is at the palace, right?”

“Yes.”

“Great.” I tug at my shirt, adjusting my collar ever so slightly. “Looks like I finally get to go outside.”

The lobby is just as clean as the rest of the hospital. By this point, I should probably stop mentioning how clean everywhere is, and instead only take note if something is dirty.

The receptionist smiles at both of us. She’s a rather standard looking young mare, complete with a generic cutie-mark and a dark blouse. A background pony if ever I saw one.

“Good morning Doctor Maneworthy.” She says politely, before suddenly stumbling over my greeting. “Good morning – uh, Piano Man.”

I smile ever so slightly. Random ponies passing in the street shout those words at me every day, and even though it does make me cringe mentally, I refuse to hold it against him. In the hospital, everypony tip-toes around me like I’m made of fine china. She’s the first pony from inside the hospital to refer to me as anything since I woke up.

In conjunction with the taboo I’ve perceived to be associated with those words, Maneworthy’s head snaps around.

“Miss Manila, you of all ponies shouldn’t need to be reminded that we are to…” He trails off, and glances at me. “Oh, uh… Why not go have a look outside? Don’t move to far or fast, and sit down if you need to. I’ll be along shortly.”

“Sure.” I produce a grin that looks roughly on par with a grimace. “But really. It’s not that bad.”

“Be that as it may, but instructions are instructions.” Maneworthy responds. “And in this case, they have not been followed.”

“I hardly think not mentioning that… name, needs to be an instruction.” I can already tell my inability to actually voice the words has doomed my argument.

“Indeed. It’s obvious enough that anypony should know not to do it without being told twice. Please, just go ahead.”

I shake my head in disbelief, and then shoot a sympathetic glance at the receptionist, who has been sitting in a nervous silence during the exchange. Maneworthy can show some real backbone when he wants to, and arguing with him when he does is hopeless.

I decide to push the matter from my mind, and simply allow the doctor to berate Miss Manila. She did disobey instructions, so who am I to interfere in a job I don’t even understand?

I briskly walk away, feeling extremely sorry for the young mare. I don’t even get to hear the beginning of the lecture, as Maneworthy waits until I am well out of earshot – as in, outside the doors.

As soon as I’m outside, I forget about the young mare anyway. The air is cool, and the sun is bright. Another perfect day in Canterlot.

There’s a certain amount of freedom in being out in the small plaza without barely anyone around. Of course, I’m already enjoying the wonderful sensation of freedom, and have been for the past three days. This is a different kind of freedom, though.

This is a freedom from my carers. For the next minute or so, I won’t have Maneworthy or some nurse breathing down my neck about not overstressing myself. I know my own limitations, and I have my walking stick. As far as I’m concerned, I’m fine for a bit of a stroll.

I take a few hobbled steps forward, the action looking strangely humorous with my wooden walking stick, young face and moderately formal attire. In a way, I look like a walking contradiction – which of course has nothing to do with the fact that I’m the only human in a world full of colourful talking ponies.

The air is slightly warmer down in the plaza, where the mountain winds have a harder time getting at me than up on my balcony. I’m not complaining either way, but it’s just something to observe and take note of. It’s the small details like that which convinced me I was really here. You never take notice of things as minute as the wind or the way sunlight reflects of an object in a dream.

I open my mouth and take a deep breath. The ponies in the street haven’t noticed me yet, but they probably will. I have a very distinct figure, believe it or not. I can’t do what celebrities do, and just slap on some sunglasses and a trench coat. Then I’d just be making a fashion statement.

Now that I think about it, getting around is going to be a pain. It doesn’t matter if ponies talk to me or not. They’ll stare, though. Everypony – by which I mean the ponies that look up at my balcony - always does. Sometimes that silent stare is worse than any cheesy comment that these ponies could think up – and I’ve heard some pretty bad ones.

I slump against my walking stick, allowing it to carry most of my weight as I look out from the shadowed awning of the hospital entrance. Such a nice city, filled with such nice ponies.

It’s funny to think that eight days ago, all I wanted to do was kill them.

Slowly, I shuffle out into the sunlight. I should really enjoy it while I can, because apparently there’s a heavy rain scheduled soon. I don’t really remember when.

I lean against the wall of the hospital, soaking up the sunlight. Maneworthy will probably be out to escort me soon.

“Oh wow! It’s you!”

‘Shit.’

Two teenage stallions and a mare – all of them unicorns - quickly trot over. They look to be roughly the same age of the Mane Six – but that’s just my thoughts. Sometimes It can be a little hard to tell the ages here, as ponies age differently to humans.

“Hey there.” I force out weakly, plastering an equally transparent smile on my face.

“Wow, I can’t believe we’re meeting you!” One of the stallions gushes. “You’re amazing!”

“Yeah!” The mare joins in. “I wish could play as good as you!”

I smile and thank them both, before the other stallion speaks. He seems markedly less jubilant than the other two.

“I’m, uh… sorry, about… Trixie.” He says softly, jarring the other two into silence. “We… we aren’t all like that, you know.”

My smile has turned much weaker, but I still manage to pat the stallion on shoulder – well, the general shoulder area.

“I know. It’s… It's fine. I’m being taken care of.”

The three teens are silent, shifting awkwardly on their hooves.

“Hey!” The awkward situation is interrupted by Maneworthy, who still seems to be in defence mode. “What are you three doing?”

I turn to Maneworthy as he canters over, his face fixed in a irritated frown. "It-"

“He isn’t well enough to be putting up with this. Get out of here.” He snaps at the teens, all of which turn and gallop away before I can say that I don't mind.

I sigh and close my mouth, watching dejectedly as the teens race off. That's three alienated ponies right there.

“Is it just me…” I ease myself off the wall with a little groan. “…or am I getting everypony in trouble today?”

“They should really know better.” Maneworthy has clearly been placed in a bad mood by morning’s events. “We should go. We’re running late.”

“Yeah. Sure.” I really don’t feel like arguing. This is the first time that I’ve seen the doctor behaving as anything aside from a cheerful and friendly pony. It would seem that he has a low tolerance for incompetence.

We begin our slow walk through the city, with any pony that tries to approach immediately warded-off by one of Maneworthy’s vehement glares. We’d be making much better time if I was a little more mobile and a lot less stiff.

After a few minutes of what I can only describe as an angry silence, I feel compelled to try cheer Maneworthy up – even if it was simply to alleviate the tension.

“Canterlot truly is beautiful.” I remark awkwardly, making a point of exaggeratedly looking around. “Everything is so beautifully crafted, and quite clean.”

“It isn’t all like this.” Maneworthy replies, his voice still laced with irritation. “I’m sure you’ve guessed that this is the most upscale district in the city.”

“Mmm…” I nod, glancing at one of the many ponies who are needlessly wearing the shirt halves of tuxedos. “How bad do they get?”

“Not so much as ‘bad’.” Maneworthy replies without a hint of snobbishness. “…Just more in the way of being less glamorous. You’d be able to criss-cross every single street in the city, and never find one as clean as these.”

“Except for the palace, of course.” I add. That’s a given – and it’s also why Maneworthy isn’t speaking with the intolerable level of pride the show portrayed Canterlot ponies as possessing. He lives in the palace. How the rest of the city looks is of no real concern to him.

“Except for the palace.” The doctor agrees. His voice still isn’t prideful, but it also now lacks the irritation it held earlier. Progress if ever I casually listened to it.

***

“Wow. The palace is nice.” I speak softly, looking up at the graceful archers and turrets of Canterlot’s biggest structure. It’s much more impressive and far more beautiful from this angle. The view from the hospital does it no justice at all compared to this.

“Like I said… The best kept part of Canterlot.” Maneworthy still doesn’t look exactly ‘happy’, but he doesn’t look ready to slap somepony either. For now, that’s enough.

I nod, and follow him inside. My nerves are mounting. It’s time to meet the princesses. The princesses. The two that control the sun and the moon, and hold undisputed rule over all of Equestria. Will Cadance be there?

What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do? I don’t have the proper social training to converse with royalty. I can’t even carry myself with grace – not with this wound so fresh.

Looking down at my clothes, I realize that they aren’t nearly fit enough for royalty. I had a damn tuxedo, and I chose this crap. I should have dressed as smart as I possibly could have. What was I thinking? What is wrong with me?

Maneworthy gives me an odd look as we arrive in the lobby, and I realize that my face must be fixed in a mask of outer mortification.

“Are you alright?”

I am definitely not alright. I’ve practically curled over my walking stick, and I’m starting to panic.

“No, no.” I mumble. “I chose the wrong clothes. Not good enough. Do we have time to go back?”

Maneworthy stares at me like I’ve gone mad – although I understand why. It took thirty minutes for me to hobble over here, and I doubt I’d be able to handle another round trip anyway.

“You must be joking.”

I turn away, tugging at my collar. “Damn it, what was I thinking?” My voice is strained. “I’m not ready to meet the princesses! I’m not in the right clo- Oh my god, I haven’t had a shower since I woke up.” My hand comes up to my face. “I need to shave… Shower… my teeth…”

“Calm down.” Maneworthy says slowly, and I can see the other ponies in the entry hall looking worried. Of all the things to have a breakdown over, why this? “Everything’s fine. It doesn’t matter how you look.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” I exclaim incredulously. “I’m meeting the princesses!”

I see a white guardpony in the corner of my vision. He looks on-edge, and uncertain. Having to learn the possible dangers for a strange species such as humans must be a security nightmare.

Maneworthy’s horn lights up, and I feel my arms becoming constricted.

The presence of the doctor’s magic has two effects on me. It manages to jolt me back to reality, but at the same time, it infuses me with an intense sensation of Claustrophobia – one of the more noticeable mental scars of my ordeal.

My panic attack interrupted, I go rigid, tensing up as Maneworthy stares at me with concern.

“Maybe we should have waited until after the psychological profiling to bring you outside.”

“No, no.” I take a deep breath, refusing to look down at my arms. “I’m fine. Everything’s… I’m fine. Just give me my arms back. Please.”

Maneworthy stares at me with more than a little scepticism.

“Doctor, we…” I flex my wrists. “We have a meeting to get to, and…” I take a nervous gulp. “And if you don’t let go of my wrists right now, then I’m probably going to just freak out some more.”

Maneworthy nods, now understanding what is happening, and releases me. I refrain from stretching, which is what I really want to do at the moment, and simply give a little sigh.

Everypony is watching my shame unfold in all of its glory, and it’s all I can do not to curl up in a ball, or slam my head through the marble floor like some sort of super-ostrich. I’ve managed to thoroughly humiliate myself over practically nothing.

I’m in a bad condition. I know that, Maneworthy knows that, and Twilight knows that. It would be surprising if the princesses didn’t also know, so why would they care how I look?

Maneworthy guides me over to a sitting cushion, and gets me to sit down. “We can spare a few minutes, Catch your breath for a section.” He speaks soothingly, leaving me to my thoughts.

I sit in place numbly, looking down at my crossed legs. Most of the ponies in the hall are still looking at me. What are they thinking?

I listen disinterestedly as Maneworthy crosses the hall, and speaks to a pair of the guards and a few other ponies.

“I’m very sorry. His condition isn’t exactly stable, but he’s here to meet the princesses.”

So now he’s covering for me. That really raises my self esteem.

Well, except that he isn’t.

Who am I kidding? I’m still in terrible condition. It took so long to hobble my way over here, and it barely took a nudge to send me into a panic. It doesn’t matter if my wound’s healing well, what I need is to see a psychiatrist, or a psychologist, or a therapist. Hell, I have no clue which one deals with what.

I've been listening to Maneworthy since I woke up, taking everything he says as the ‘word of god’. It only occurs to me now that he is a physician, and I shouldn’t listen to anything he says regarding my mental state.

It’s not like I think any less of him now. I’m actually more pissed-off at myself. This is what happens when I don’t think – I have a humiliating breakdown in public that I can only bear to acknowledge because everypony will attribute it to my ordeal.

It’s only when Maneworthy begins to speak once more, keeping his voice slow and measured like the day I woke up, that I realise he has returned.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“I’d be lying if I said yes.” I reply glumly, uncrossing my legs and leaning back slightly. “But I’m okay for the meeting, I promise.”

“Okay then, if you feel that you’re able to continue, then let’s go meet the princesses.”

I nod. Maneworthy is an excellent doctor – I mean, he healed me when he’d never treated a human before – but he’s definitely not trained in dealing with mental issues. I’m sure any licensed practitioner would force me back to the hospital, lest I hurt somepony.

I really have to appreciate the way this world works. Back on earth, I’d be in a padded cell by now, what with the whole 'talking ponies' angle. In comparison, Maneworthy is still willing to let me go and see the princesses, even after a minor breakdown.

I just hope that it won’t be a choice he regrets.

Meeting The Royalty - Part 1

I plant my walking stick into the ground in front of me, using it as a prop to get to my feet. It’s quite a strain on my wound, and for the first time I’m worried that the stitches might pop.

Actually, now I’m worried that I can’t manage it. The angle is wrong, and I simply don’t have the strength.

I slump back onto the cushion, before I suddenly feel my torso start to tingle.

Maneworthy’s magic envelopes my chest, once again infusing me with the same sense of claustrophobia as he lifts me to my feet.

He removes the aura immediately, and I take a deep breath, my anxiety dissipating as quickly as it appeared. That was close. Another couple of seconds, and the doctor would have been dealing with an emotional shit-storm the likes of which Equestria has never seen.

“Uh… thanks.” I mumble, my face turning red. It's embarrassing, and undignified that I needed to be helped up... that I couldn't manage it myself.

Maneworthy doesn’t acknowledge the awkward thanks, which I in turn am grateful for. At least he can appreciate that I have a sense of dignity, and that his helping me didn’t exactly help.

“We should hurry.” He speaks softly, and I feel a twinge of irritation. We’re back to the tip-toeing. Maneworthy’s going to spend at least the rest of the day treating me like I’m made of glass.

“Yes.” I reply, with more bite in my voice than I would like. “How late are we?”

Maneworthy glances at a large ornate clock hanging above the main staircase – which I myself had somehow not noticed. “About half an hour.”

My chest tightens. “Half an hour? I’ve been keeping the princesses waiting for half…” I trail off, reigning myself in before I cave into the panic once more.

“We… We need to hurry. Seriously.” I bite my lip, and tighten my grip on my walking stick.

“Of course.” Maneowrthy nods encouragingly, clearly pleased that I was able to ward off another panic attack. “Let’s go.”

He takes the lead, slowly walking up the main staircase of the ornate entry hall, while I trail behind, hobbling up the steps.

Most of the ponies have stopped staring by now, and continued on with their daily tasks. The only ones still watching are the armor-clad guards, but that’s just their jobs. I still feel uncomfortable, but not nearly so much as when I'd been throwing my little tantrum.

“The castle really is beautiful.” I remark casually, trying to break the tension. “I never thought it would be this… splendid.”

“They’ve had over a millennium to get it just right.” Maneworthy’s curt reply is disheartening, but I press on.

“Well they did a very good job.” I mumble meekly. My ‘pressing on’ was nothing more than a weak remark that killed the conversation even better than Maneworthy’s reply.

One step forward and two steps back, I guess.

***

I look down at my walking stick as we approach the large ornate door. We’re up in one of the larger towers of the palace.

I have to say, the view from the windows is truly spectacular. Everything about Canterlot is so... scenic. From the architecture to the shape of the land itself.

Maneworthy turns to look at me, his eyes full of concern.

“Are you feeling up to this? We can postpone it a few days if you need it.”

I shake my head, offering a meek grin. “After all I went through to get here? Forget it.” I look over my shoulder at the spiral staircase back down to the rest of the castle. “Besides, we’re here now, and I need a rest before using those again.”

Maneworthy nods, and looks at the large door, which is flanked by two guards on both sides.

“We’re here for a meeting with the princesses.”

“You’re expected.” The guard closest to the door handle speaks in a deep baritone, his horn lighting up. “Go on in.”

On that cue, the door knob is enveloped in a grey-blue aura, and the door itself slowly swings open, making barely a squeak on it’s well maintained hinges.

I stare down at my feet as Maneworthy – as always – takes the lead, walking confidently into the throne room.

“Your majesties.” He announces respectfully. “I apologize to no end for our lateness. There were a few complications.”

I keep my eyes down on the floor as I enter the meeting room. I don’t feel worthy of being here - Scratch that, I'm just plain not worthy of being here.

“That is quite understandable…”

I shudder visibly at the voice. It’s her. Celestia, the ruler of the day, and master of the sun. She’s speaking – excusing me, no less, for being late to a meeting she is attending.

I keep my eyes rooted on the floor, taking shallow rapid breaths. I try to keep them quiet and unnoticeable, but I have no clue if it is or not, as the thumping in my ears is drowning out such tiny noises.

She's standing quite close - within two meters, I think. It's nauseating - and worrying. She's providing for me, and I can't even look at her.

“...After all, asking one in your situation to be punctual is quite a ridiculous notion, wouldn’t you agree?”

The room falls into silence, and my downcast face turns into one of shock as I realise that Celestia is addressing me directly.

“Uh, yes! Y-your majesty!” I still don’t look up, and instead bow awkwardly – nearly falling over as I overbalance.

Celestia chuckles light-heartedly as I right myself, and my face turns red. I’m making a fool of myself in front of the princess herself.

“I - I’m sorry. I apologize to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut. This is not how I had imagined first meeting Celestia – and I mean properly meeting her. I don’t count the glimpse I got of her before I passed out at the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Why do you not look upon us?” Asks Luna softly, and I realise that she’s standing even closer than Celestia. “Are you… afraid? Why would you fear us?”

I let out a little squeak, but cannot bring myself to say anything.

“My apologies, Princess Luna.” Maneworthy speaks for me. “My patient had a slight breakdown in the entry hall. He’s not in the best condition at the moment.”

“I see.” Luna’s voice recedes slightly as she gives me a little room. I sincerely doubt it's because I worry her. It's most likely just her giving me a little space to myself.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Celestia seems to do the exact opposite, as her voice gets closer, and I feel my throat tighten as Celestia’s flowing mane enters my field of vision. “I’m sure there was a good reason.”

I’m not sure it it’s my emerging panic, or if there is truly some sort of extra force surrounding Celestia, but it feels like the air around me holds more pressure – as if there’s something more to it.

“It…” My words come out choked. “It w-was… over my… c-clothes, your highness. I-”

I stop as a white hoof clad in a golden shoe enters my wide-eyed gaze, approaching my face and coming into contact with one cheek.

“Do not concern yourself, my little human.” Celestia’s voice is filled with sympathy as she gently pushes my chin up, until I find myself looking into the pale-magenta eyes of the princess herself.

“You’ve been through more in the last month than any pony could claim to go through in their entire life.” She speaks softly and slowly, even more-so than Maneworthy. “Nopony will begrudge you a little emotional tension.”

I feel like I’m about to cry. It all feels like just too much. Her presence, and how much she’s done to help me in the last week, and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her. I'm disgusting.

After a few seconds, Celestia allows her hoof to fall from my face, filling me with relief.

“I’m…” My voice is shaky. “I-I’m s-sorry.”

“Do not be, human.” Luna appears in the left side of my vision, also speaking softly. “Everything is understandable.”

Maneworthy appears at my side, looking at me with that concerned gaze of his.

“Maybe we should postpone, and get you back to the hospital.”

“N-no. Everything’s… e-everything…” I shake my head, and take a breath. “Everything’s fine. I’m alright. Seriously.” I look at Maneworthy, then Celestia, and then Luna.

“I’m so sorry.” I steady my cane against the floor, and plaster a feeble smile on my face. “I won’t let it happen again. I promise.”

“Nopony blames you.” Celestia turns back to a large circular table in the centre of the tower-top room, where an extremely concerned Twilight is seated. “I believe that we should make this quick, so that you may rest.”

“Thank, you, your majesty.” I mumble awkwardly accompanying the three ponies to the table.

I’m determined not to make myself look any weaker and more foolish than I have already. I had no clue that my ordeal had left such intense scarring.

I truly do want to get this meeting over with, so that I can go back to the hospital and collect my thoughts – and sleep. It’s not even midday yet, and yet I’m already exhausted.

Slowly, I sit down on the cushion next to Twilight as Maneworthy accompanies the princesses around the table, where they begin to talk in hushed voices. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out their topic of discussion.

I don't see Cadance. Twilight told me that she hadn't left her and Shining Armor's chambers since the day of the Gala - and that makes me feel just terrible. It isn't my fault, but I feel responsible for it.

I'm sure I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Cadance came out of this with any scars. She's such a wonderful pony - as far as I know - and to think that I could have been a part of something that hurt her is unbearable.

“Hey.” Twilight speaks quietly, not wanting to disrupt the more importanty conversation taking place on the other side of the table. “Are you okay?”

I almost scoff at the redundancy of the question. It’s readily visible that I am definitely not alright. The only thing stopping me spitting out a sarcastic reply is my understanding that Twilight is really just trying to see if I feel well enough to continue.”

“Okay?” My voice comes out in something resembling a cross between a standard and a stage whisper. “Definitely, definitely not.” I shake my head sadly. “But I can get through this.”

Twilight nods, her expression still sympathetic. “Just say something if you feel unwell.”

I reply with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I’m… I’m such a burden. I didn’t think I’d come out of it this bad-off. All I want to do is go back to the hospital and sleep.”

“You are definitely not a burden, and you can do that.” Twilight looks down at the mess of paper in front of her. “Once this is over.”

I turn to look at the ornate table as Twilight engrosses herself in her notes, and the other three continue to talk. My freedom has caused a rather large shake-up for all of them, and I would feel a lot worse if it had been my own fault I’d been pulled through. Even now, I still felt bad for simply leeching off of them. No matter how necessary it is, I still hate taking advantage of others like this.

The Princesses and Maneworthy continue their conversation for a further two minutes, before ending abruptly and returning to the table. The sisters seem content to stand, and Maneworthy takes his standard place – that is to say, somewhere within two meters of me.

“Very well then, let’s begin.” Celestia looks at Twilight, and then at me. “I’m sure you’ve already been told of your living arrangements. A suite in the castle is ready for when you’re discharged.”

I nod. “Thank you, your highness.”

“It looks to me like discharge could take a while.” Maneworthy adds blithely, although the comment is mostly good-natured. Once my wound is properly healed, I can move into the palace, and deal with my mental issues from there.

Celestia rolls her eyes, smiling slightly, before continuing. “Well, the room is ready for whenever you need it, and I’m sure you’ll like it… Luna?”

Luna nods, taking over. “Now, young one. Do you know how your captor was able to control you?”

I grimace. “It was… because humans… have no magical spark, right?”

“Indeed.” Luna’s horn starts to glow, lifting a simple strip of curved metal from under the table. It took the general shape of the brace segment of a pair of behind-the-head headphones.

“This…” She continues to speak, levitating the shiny metal band over to me. “Has been infused with magic. You won’t be able to use magic, but it will shield your mind, and stop others from controlling you.”

“Th-thank you.” I stammer, catching the semi-circle in my hands as Luna’s magic disappears. I didn’t even consider that they would give me something like this – something that would make sure that my mind stayed mine.

“You wear it on your ears.” Twilight adds a tad unnecessarily. “And it should do the trick.”

Slowly, I slip the semi-circlet onto my head, tucking it under my slightly long hair. (I haven’t had a haircut in just over two months.) It feels slightly heavier than it should. I didn’t know magic could create a weighted presence.

I know what’s going to come next. They’re going to test it out, and see if it works.

What if they get through? What if this thing doesn’t work right? I’ll probably have a heart attack.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and wait for it to happen. I don’t know why, but I’m almost completely sure that I’m about to be put through all kinds of hell.

“Are you okay?”

I open my eyes, and look around. The four ponies are giving me concerned looks.

“I… Aren’t you going to test it?”

“What?” Twilight looks startled. “No!”

“You’re in no state for us to just throw spells at you.” Maneworthy replies with much more gentleness.

“Oh, right.” I grin sheepishly. This place isn’t exactly the way it’s portrayed in the show. Certain unicorns are psychotic, and Twilight Sparkle isn’t nearly as reckless with her science. "Sorry. I... I'm not thinking clearly."

"Evidently." Maneworthy puts a hoof to my forehead, checking my temperature. "We should probably get you back to the hospital as soon as possible."

"Indeed." Celestia agrees. "But first, I have a few questions."

I can almost feel the color drain from my face.

The questions. I knew they would come eventually - I just didn't think it would be this soon.

This is going to be a horrible conversation.

Meeting The Royalty - Part 2

“Uhh…” I bite my lip. “What questions?”

‘Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god.’

The questions. I had hoped that I would have more time to compose my answers. I mean… how am I meant to explain this? How am I meant to tell them that their entire world was created by the residents of another?

I still don’t know what to think about that. If humans created My Little Pony, then how did a character in it manage to summon me? Is the show some strange cosmic coincidence that portrays their world to mine, or does every work of fiction get its own little universe once created?

This can’t possibly end well, and I feel myself breaking out into a cold sweat. I mean it? How am I meant to tell these ponies that from my point of view, they are characters in a TV Show?

The short answer is that I will not.

I can’t bring myself to shatter the peacefulness of this world with such mind-blowing information. The news would either start riots, ruin lives, or get me thrown in the nut-house. If you ask me, the final option would be the best. I would rather be thought insane by the ponies than shatter their beliefs.

I blink twice, and realise that I have managed to zone out – while Celestia was talking. What the hell is wrong with me?

The four ponies are all looking at me expectantly, while my mind rapidly blanks out. What did Celestia just ask me? Why wasn’t I paying attention? Why am I such a freaking ass all the time?

“I…” My mouth stumbles over my sentence, and I groan inwardly. “I-I’m sorry, I drifted off for a second. Sorry.”

Celestia’s brow gives off a minute twitch, angling downwards to show that she is ever so slightly perplexed. That almost unnoticeable show of dissatisfaction makes me cringe mentally for not being at my best.

“Sorry.” I say a third time, before taking a slight breath at my own idiocy. She’s doing everything, I should at least be able to pay some god-damn attention.

“It’s fine, of course.” Celestia assures me, which make me feel even worse. The fuck-tonnes of sympathy that’s been unloaded on me since I woke up has been almost unbearable, and I can barely stand to accept any more.

I know it’s fine. I know it’s excusable, but it’s inconveniencing one of the ponies working so hard to make me healthy, and she deserves a better response than the one I’m providing.

“I asked how you’re feeling.”

I blink in surprise. Now it’s my turn to be perplexed.

Celestia isn’t asking me about my knowledge. She isn’t trying to find out what I know… she’s checking to see how I am personally doing.

I blink again, and swallow nervously. Does this mean that I am getting a little while to compose myself?

“Uh, good – thanks, your majesty.” I struggle to form the words while I shake off my confusion. “I mean, physically, of course.”

“Good to hear.” Celestia certainly doesn’t look overly convinced. She carries that same motherly look – which makes me feel even worse. “Are the rooms up to human standards?”

“Y-Yes, of course.” Wow. She’s really just asking about how I’m doing. Why is this so important to her? “Your majesty.” I add hastily.

“Please, just call me Princess, or Celestia.” I see a little glimmer of mirth in Celestia’s eyes, which makes me feel slightly better. If the princess is still in a mood to find entertainment in the events around her, then everything is fine.

I know I can’t just call her by either title. She’s a princess, and by comparison I am a commoner. To address her by anything less than her title is… unacceptable, at best.

“Is there anything else you need? Anything at all?”

“No, you majesty.” I bite my lip, anticipating being reprimanded for my use of the title. Thankfully, Celestia either does not notice, or simply lets it slide.

“And finally…” A slight hint of tension in the Princess’s voice makes my nerves jump. What is she about to ask? It wounds like something serious.

“Do you have a… name, that we can call you by?”

My heart skips a beat. While not the worst question she could have asked, it’s certainly one I don’t want to answer. I don’t know why, but I just don’t. Is it an insecurity? And inferiority complex? There must be a myriad of medical terms for why I feel this way, but I have no clue.

All that matters at the moment is that right now, I just can’t tell them my name. I won’t tell them my name.

“Uh, I…” I lick my lips nervously. “C-can… can you just call me… Piano Man?” I stutter. “Or…”

Celestia and Luna are both looking at me with surprise, while Twilight looks like she was expecting this.

“…Keys… You could j-just call me… Keys.”

“I… do not understand…” Luna’s voice could tell me that even if she’d been saying that she understood completely. “Do you have a name, human?”

“Y-yes.” I hang my head, not daring to look her in the eye.

“Then why do you not share it with us?”

The room falls silent, waiting on my reply.

What am I supposed to say? That for some inexplicable reason I am unable to provide my hosts with my name? That I’m simply being an introverted jackass without knowing why?

“I…” My throat is closing up. I’m so nervous. This is no way to repay their kindness. “I don’t… know…”

Celestia and Luna share a glance, and I clench my fists in frustration.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I hiss the words under my breath, although I’m pretty sure only Twilight can hear them.

I feel her hoof on my arm, attempting to comfort me but it does nothing to help. If anything it makes me feel worse – receiving sympathy while I’m being atrociously rude.

I push her hoof away, not daring to look at her. This was never part of the Brony dream – ever.

“Very well then, ‘Keys’.” Celestia sounds slightly irritated, but her voice is still dominated by that god-damn tone of understanding and sympathy. “Such a name will suffice for now.” She puts a tiny amount of emphasis on the ‘now’.

“There is one more matter to be dealt to.” Luna adds. “The matter of bits.”

“Bits?” Now it’s my turn to be confused, as I manage to look back up at the princesses. “What about them, your highness?”

“Do you know what bits are?” Celestia asks. A fair question, really.

“Yes, your majesty.” I smile meekly. “The currency of Equestria.”

“Indeed. I’m sure you know that your performances earned quite a few bits over the weeks, and there’s the matter of the commission for the Grand Galloping Gala…”

The truth is, I hadn’t thought about this. I knew that I had been earning bits with my performances, but I had no idea how much – and I had no clue what had happened to them.

“…Anyway, as Trixie was earning this money through slave labour, and was most certainly not your manager, the earnings are being transferred to you.”

I blink twice. That’s a truly unexpected turn of events.

“Oh, uh… thanks, your majesty.”

“Celestia.” Celestia corrects me.

I pause, unwilling to use the white Alicorn’s name. Instead, I continue with my train of thought.

“But… I’m not a citizen. Doesn’t that… change, anything?”

“No, young one.” Luna answers my question. “They are the bits you earned, and what nation you belong to has no impact on that.”

Twilight levitates a scroll over to me, which I gently accept, and unfurl.

“Thank you.” I mumble to the mare, clumsily uncurling the scroll to reveal the figures.

The numbers certainly aren’t anything to scoff at. Trixie recorded my earnings extremely thoroughly, writing down the amount raked in by each performance, and then listing what she herself had done to shrink that number.

My shows hadn’t brought in overly much many. Each one brought in at least a thousand bits – normally averaging somewhere around two and a quarter grand, and with one performance reaching three-thousand. The first three shows barely passed a thousand.

Now that I think about it, this is a lot of money for three weeks work. Over the course of ten shows I managed to rake in twenty four thousand bits. If I assume that a bit is the same as a U.S., or a Canadian dollar, then that’s quite a bit of money.

Or it would be, if Trixie hadn’t blown over half of the money. She’d lived it up in hotels, as me and my cage had taken up her wagon – which she’d had painted.

There were quite a few expenses – most of them either pertaining to Trixie’s living, or my imprisonment. That had the tooth-grinding effect of reducing my earnings down to six-and-a-half-thousand bits.

“Hmm…” I raise an eyebrow. It was money for living, pretty much. Enough to tide one over for a while – and I wasn’t exactly paying for my living at the moment.

I kept looking over the paper, before suddenly gasping, which drew a good natured ‘There it is.’ From Maneworthy.

The commission for the Gala. It was twenty-thousand bits, and Trixie hadn’t spent a single one.

“Quite the sum.” Celestia says with obvious happiness in her voice.

I looked at the final sum. Twenty-six-thousand, three-hundred and fifty-six bits, all belonging to me. I have no idea how that compares to other ponies, but it seems like a lot.

“Twenty… six… oh….” I look at the four ponies in turn. They all look very pleased, which in turn makes me feel quite happy.

“How… Wait, how much does something like… a chocolate bar, cost?”

“A plain chocolate bar?” Twilight offers helpfully. “Two bits, why?”

“So… a bit is pretty much a dollar…” I mumble under my breath. This really is a lot of money.

And the strangest part of it all, is that I just don’t want it. I have no need for it… and I would feel bad, just taking all this money. It doesn’t matter what I did to get it, I just don’t want it. I don't know how, but I'm going to make sure I get rid of it all.

I blink a few times, and then look at the mares and colt around me. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

At least my stutter’s gone by now. Stumbling over words is extremely undignified – especially in the presence of royalty.

Maneworthy stands up, stretching and yawning.

“I would suggest that you don’t say anything. You aren’t really in the right mind frame for all of this.” He smiles. “I think we should just get you back to the clinic.”

All I can do is nod and agree, before realizing that going back to the hospital means tackling the stairs again.

“Damn.” I mutter under my breath. “The stairs.”

Maneworthy nods, delivering another sympathetic smile. Out of everyone here, he seems the most laid back. I think that’s because of how familiar he is with Equestria.

“Yeah. The stairs.”

“Stairs?” Twilight takes notice from where she is cleaning up her mess of papers. She pauses a moment, before understanding dawns on her face. “Oh.”

I grimace and nod, picking up my walking stick. Time to shame myself getting up.

Well, not exactly. This time I have a table in front of me, and I manage to drag myself to my feet without any help – although admittedly, it takes an entire minute, and comes with a lot of grunting.

As I finally straighten up and plant my walking-stick on the floor, I realise that Maneworthy and Twilight have been talking, and are now looking at me expectantly.

“Sorry.” I say for what feels like the hundredth time today. “I… I wasn’t listening.”

My voice is still rather weak, and I feel so tired. What I could really go for at the moment is a nice sleep – but that’s at least thirty minutes away.

My mental grumbling is immediately silenced by what Maneworthy says next.

“Miss Sparkle has offered to take you back to the clinic…” His cheerful smile disappeared. “…By teleporting.”

I’m not exactly surprised. It seems just like Twilight to offer to help this way – I simply didn’t consider it.

“That is, if you’re okay for that.” Twilight adds hastily, reminding me that I am still an extremely fragile object in their eyes.

I mull it over, wondering whether or not teleporting would make me snap. I don’t see why, and I sincerely doubt I’ll flip out over something that I don’t think I would merit it.

“I think that’s… wonderful, thanks.” I smile sincerely – possibly producing the broadest smile since I arrived. It isn’t forced or fake, like the others. “But what about this thing.” I reach up and lightly touch the circlet underneath my hair.

“It doesn’t work that way.” Twilight responds plainly, and that’s all the reply I need.

“Okay then.” I lift my cane off the floor, which immediately puts more strain on my legs – and more importantly, my wound. “I could really use a rest.”

“Okay then.” Twilight trots over to stand next to me, adjusting her saddle-bag with her magic. “Just a second…”

While she fusses over making sure that she has everything, I turn to Maneworthy.

“You seem awfully laid-back.”

“When one has spent as much time around Celestia as I have, you learn that formality is not only unnecessary, it is an irritant for both of us.”

“Indeed.” The Alicorn herself adds, approaching to stand next to Maneworthy. “I’m sure you may have guessed that I don’t really enjoy standing on occasion.”

In honesty, I already knew. Celestia’s mischievous streak has been apparent through most of the show, as has her odd lack of formality for an Alicorn of over a thousand years.

“I gathered, your majes-”

“Celestia.” She corrects me on the spot, not even skipping a beat.

I’m feeling a lot better at this point. Quite well actually. This all feels like a rather standard conversation now, and I’m managing to push the fact that Celestia and Luna are princesses out of my mind. That said, I’m still not willing to speak so blithely and casually to my benefactors.

Wait a minute. The princesses. Luna, Celestia, and…

“Wait… Where’s Princess Cadance?” I suddenly ask.”

“Cadance has not left her chambers since the Gala.” Luna replies sombrely. “I believe the nights events have left her very distraught.”

“But… is Shining helping her?” I ask, now feeling guilty once more.

Twilight and the two princesses exchange looks, and I briefly note that I’ve just demonstrated my Brony-knowledge. At the moment, I’m more concerned for Cadance.

“Do I need to go talk to her?”

Luna is the first to speak – which is interesting, considering that she’s been taking a more distanced role for most of this meeting.

“I would say so.” She speaks slowly and thoughtfully, giving me time to note that she has not uttered the ‘royal we’ a single time since I first talked to her. “But not at the moment. I believe she needs more time.”

‘More time? It’s been eight days. That just sounds like a way of delaying a plotline.’ I muse, while nodding. Do things in this world function to the constraints of literature conventions and tropes? If so, things might not be so complicated.

“Okay then, your highness.”

Twilight, who was waiting for us to finish our conversation, clears her throat. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.” I nod and smile. At least the ending to this meeting isn’t nearly as horrible as the beginning. Things have actually turned out… rather well.”

The Princesses and Maneworthy take a few steps back, making sure that they won’t interrupt the spell by being too close.

Right before Twilight starts to charge her horn, I smile lightly at the three other ponies.

“I’m really sorry, for how difficult I was.”

I timed it just right. Twilight’s horn flares, and the spell takes effect before they can rebuke my apology with their damn sympathy.

My vision twists, with my image of the world turning in a nauseating corkscrew as Twilight begins the teleportation.

"Woah... this is..." I fall silent as my skin starts to tingle, and my distorted view of the room turns purple.

'Oh wow.' I think briefly before my vision is blacked out.

Party Reasonably

Teleportation is, frankly, the same as how I would imagine a drug trip. That’s the best analogy I can give. There’s swirling colours – some of them psychedelic, while most are just different shades of purple. I would imagine that the colour changes along with the unicorn who casts the spell.

My skin feels amazingly taught. It’s like I’m being pinched all over my body by Twilight’s spell – and I can thankfully say that I am most certainly not freaking out. In fact, this is rather enjoyable. I’m sure that for as long as I live, I will never forget this half-second of swirling colours and strange sensations.

It lasts such a short time, and yet in this moment, I’m exposed to more colours than I could ever have imagined. It’s a good thing I’m not susceptible to seizures, because this is the sort of thing that would get me foaming at the mouth if I was.

Twilight and I re-materialize in my hospital room with a purple flash, accompanied by a magical ‘bang’. I already miss the sensation of teleporting. Fifty milliseconds of stimulating colours and an inability to feel your body delivers a real adrenaline kick. I wouldn’t call it hallucinogenic by any means, but still.

I shake my head and look around, before finally returning my attention to Twilight.

“Is that what it’s always like?” I ask incredulously. My skin is covered in goosebumps from the strange sensations. It’s a wonder she doesn’t teleport everywhere, just for the little rush it gives.

“You get used to it.” She replies modestly – something the lavender mare has never been in short supply of.

“I don’t see how you could.” I glance around the room, making sure that it was actually mine – the only way I can do that is by either noting whether or not the bedside table is covered in get-well cards, or checking to see what kind of clothes are in my drawers.

The table is indeed covered in cards, and I’m far too lazy to check in the drawers, so I’ll just take a ‘big’ guess and say that Twilight managed to successfully complete a task I already know she is good at.

I sit down on my bed, resting my cane across my knees.

“Ugh… tired.” I mumble the words. “I didn’t think I was… this weak.”

“You haven’t really been doing anything too strenuous.” Twilight explains, walking over to the curtains and pulling them shut. "So you probably just overestimated your stamina."

“Yeah, but I thought that…” I yawn, which is quite unexpected. I think my readiness to sleep has the habit of increasing with my proximity to a bed. “I thought that I was okay enough to go for a walk without… needing to sleep…”

Twilight smiles gently in the semi darkness, catching my cane as I slowly roll onto my side, unwittingly pushing it off in the process.

“Whoops.” I mumble. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Twilight replies, returning the cane to its resting place.

“I won’t.” I murmur good-naturedly, closing my eyes as the lavender mare turns away.

***

I don’t think I’ve been sleeping for that long. Less than an hour, I’d say. Of course, that probably isn’t accurate, as most of what I’m using to measure that is how utterly pissed-off I am right now.

And the reason I’m pissed-off is – of course – because I’ve just been woken up. More than that, what is so intent on waking me up would appear to be a rather persistent hoof, which insists on poking me in the nose once every three seconds.

I don’t need to say that it’s impossible to sleep when somepony is poking you in the nose. All I can think is that whatever it is that has merited this, it better be damn important.

With a grunt of irritation, my eyes flicker open, and I find myself staring at a pink hoof, which is connected to a pink leg, which leads up to a certain pink earth pony.

Pinkie’s face is pressed up right close to mine, leaving barely any room for the hoof that roused me from my sleep. As the show tells, this is a fairly standard way to be awoken by the pink mare in question.

“What.” I grumble. It isn’t even a question, more of a command. As loveable as Pinkie is, I find it hard to appreciate her when she’s waking me up from my much needed sleep – and poking me in the nose, no less.

“Were you sleeping?” She asks in a stage-whisper.

“No, Pinkie.” I grumble, slowly reaching out and pushing the offending mare's head back a few more centimeters. “My eyes were misbehaving, so I was just putting them in a time-out.”

I of course know that the sarcasm will be lost on her. Pinkie has never been good with sarcasm. Ever.

“That’s silly!” Pinkie exclaims. Rearing up on her hind legs and grinning. “Everypony knows that the only way to treat misbehaving eyes is with cupcakes!”

“It’s sarcasm, Pinkie.” I try to close my eyes, sleepily hoping that she would just go away and come back later.

No such luck.

“Oh, I know that.” Pinkie gushes, and I can just imagine the exaggerated eye-roll she must have just performed. “But you know, it’s always polite to ask! Aren’t you happy to see me?”

I crack one of my eyes open.

“It’s always nice to see you.” I mumble. “But I really need to sleep.”

“Pssh.” Pinkie waves a hoof derisively. “Nopony really needs sleep!”

“Yes they do, Pinkie.” I sigh. “We all need our sleep.”

“Not me!” The pink mare declares proudly, pushing her face closer to mine. “Because I have too much to do! Mostly singing, but still!”

I nod in agreement. Pinkie will sing about anything. She sang a three part musical about my breakfast yesterday – although I have to agree with her that the ballad of Lord Waffle was extremely moving, and the hospital cutlery makes an excellent dance troop.

“So.” I shut my eyes again – although only briefly. “What do you want, Pinkie?”

“Oh!” Pinkie gasps, shoving her face up against mine. “I just wanted to say…”

“SURPRISE!” A collection of voices shout – which does indeed surprise me far more than it should. I really should have seen this coming.

The lights in the room come on, hurting my eyes with the sudden intensity.

“What…” I blink twice, sitting up in bed and shielding my eyes.

Almost instantly, my eyes adjust to the light change, and I see five mares standing in the room, most of them wearing large grins.

Of course. A cast party – well, almost.

Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy. No Twilight, though.

“Do ya like it?!” Pinkie practically screams in my ear, bouncing up and down on the spot. “It’s your ‘We’re-really-sorry-that-you-got-turned-into-a-slave-so-here’s-a-great-party-to-make-up-for-it’ party!”

I laugh. A Pinkie party. Awesome!

“Yeah. I like it!” I slowly ease myself off the bed, glad that I didn’t actually get into bed, or take off my clothes. “Screw sleep!”

I grope around for my cane, quickly finding it and standing up while Pinkie Pie continues to get more and more excited.

“Great!” Pinkie hollers, turning on the spot and bouncing away from me. “He likes it! He likes it!”

I grin in response, leaning on my walking stick.

“Best way to end this day. Seriously.”

I look around the room, noting the presence of several streamers, a record-player in one corner of the room which has inexplicably started playing music, despite the fact that it has not been touched, and a fold-away table laden with cake and different goodies – including a tiny bowl of what look like meatballs, which is set a good distance away from the rest of the food.

“Oh…” I mumble under my breath.

Pinkie… provided… meat…

Pushing the many different Cupcakes-related thoughts from my mind, I look back to the other mares.

“I, uh… thanks.” I push the words out awkwardly, before managing to compose myself. “This is great.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Rainbow puffs out her chest. She showboats like it was her that put the party together – even though it was definitely Pinkie.

“Oh Dash, hush.” Rarity confirms my thoughts, walking over with a very reluctant looking Fluttershy.

Pinkie completes her bounce-lap, returning from the other side of the bed.

“Yay!” She cries jubilantly. “Let’s eat!”

And with that line, she turns around once more, and once again bounces away, this time angled towards the snack-table.

I smile, but decide to delay following the pink mare for a little while.

Instead, I turn back to the three ponies standing near me.

“I suppose you’d all be back at Ponyville by now, if it wasn’t for me.” I bite my lip instantly, realizing that what I just said flaunts a little bit of my Brony-Knowledge.

Thankfully, none of the mares seemed to notice, so I continued to speak.

“So… I’m not sure whether to apologize for the delay, or just say that I’m glad you’re all here.” I blink twice, realizing how corny that sounds.

“Well!” Rarity’s horn lit up as she fetched a glass of punch from the table – which Pinkie was already summing up in the same manner with which a hawk sums up a field mouse. “I myself just love Canterlot. I should thank you for giving me a reason to stay.”

She took a sip of her punch, and then suddenly did a double-take – nearly choking on the beverage in the process.

I grinned sheepishly as Rarity spluttered, putting a hoof to her mouth before returning my sheepish smile.

“Of c-course, I wish it was under better circumstances! My apologies.”

“It’s fine.” I look over at Pinkie. “Uh, maybe we should get some food… before…”

“Yes!” Rarity and Dash say together, both of them eager to get away from the admittedly touchy subject.

Everypony seems to think that if they so much as hint at it, I’ll throw a fit. I will say that I’m not comfortable with talking about the area, and do indeed feel some odd emotions every time it comes up, but it isn’t like I’m about to rip somepony’s head off.

The two mares quickly turn-tail and trot over to where Pinkie is busily scoffing cupcakes and marshmallows, leaving me to follow behind with Fluttershy – who is keeping her face hidden in her mane.

“Is something wrong?” I ask suddenly, which makes the yellow Pegasus start, drawing a sharp ‘eep’ from her mouth.

I frown. Something about me scares Fluttershy, although whether it’s her natural shyness, or something about me in particular, I have no idea.

I’m about to ask again, when a cheery peach-coloured earth pony cuts me off.

“Well howdy, partner!” Applejack exclaims, shoving her hoof into my hand and shaking it vigorously – something she also did the first time we met. I get the feeling Applejack is almost as interested in my hands as Twilight. “Good to hear that ya got out fer a stroll!”

I smile uneasily, noting that Fluttershy quickly makes her escape over to the snack table as Applejack continues her efforts to tear my arm off.

“How are ya feelin’ partner?” Applejack exclaims boisterously as she finally allows me to reclaim my hand. “Better, ah hope.”

“Yes, thanks.” I roll my shoulder. Applejack takes ‘southern hospitality’ to a whole new level. “The doctors know what they’re doing.”

“Ah bet.” Applejack grins widely. “Now come on! Let’s get some o’ that there food.”

I nod, following her over to where the others are hoeing into the snacks.

“Wow.” I raise an eyebrow at the huge amount of food laid out on the small table, picking out a bowl of marshmallows, hay fries, and quite a bit of chocolate – along with a well sized banana cake. “That’s a lot for just six.”

I pause, once again recalling my earlier thought. “Wait a second, where is Twilight, anyway?”

“Not here!” Pinkie chortles from behind me – managing to perform one of her amazing and extremely confusing little teleports. She never ceases to amaze me with her ability to appear anywhere whenever she wants – provided it’s in the same room.

“And… why not?” I motion for Pinkie to explain.

“Well, when I asked Twilight last night about throwing a party, she said it was a terrible idea!”

“Ah. Well then tha-”

“Like, a really, really bad idea.” Pinkie continued, thoughtfully putting a hoof to her chin. “She kept talking how bad an idea it was, so I got really really bored.”

“Right.” I can feel a Pinkie-rant coming on.

“And so I while Twilight was talking about stomachs, I was thinking ‘Hey! You know what would be fun? If we had a party!’, so then I decided to throw this!”

Pinkie beamed at me for a second, before suddenly putting a hoof to her head. “Oh no! I forgot to invite Twilight!”

“I…” I stare at Pinkie. I don’t even know where to being pointing out problems with that. She went to ask Twilight about throwing a party, and when the mare in question was telling her why it was a bad idea, she had the exact same idea all over again?

“Pinkie, you do realize that…” I look at the pink pony in disbelief. “I mean…”

“Dude, it’s Pinkie.” Dash steps in. “If she wants a party, there’s gonna be a party.”

“Right.” I catch myself. Of course, I shouldn’t be trying to rationalize Pinkie. I’d get better results trying to divide by zero. “Pinkie is Pinkie.”

“Indeed, darling.” Rarity dabs at her mouth with a napkin. “Now, do try something. You must be starving!”

“Yeah!” Pinkie’s head and neck popped out from underneath the table. “Eat something! We can’t have all of this to ourselves. It’s you party, after all!”

As much as I like Pinkie, I have to admit that she really is tiresome. It’s impossible to relax around somepony who has the ability to hide in the light-shade and talk to you through mirrors – although when I’m in the right mood, it can be pretty damn fun.

With a little shrug, I pick up a knife from the table, deftly cutting the banana cake into multiple pieces, before taking one for myself.

I move to take a bite, when I notice – out of the corner of my eye – Pinkie and Applejack both staring at me.

“Uh…” I turn to look at them, and see that all of the ponies present are staring at me with surprised expressions on their faces, Fluttershy included. “Did I… do something… wrong?”

“Dearie,” Rarity says in bewilderment. “You needn’t refrain from eating meat on our behalf.”

I do a double take. “What? But…” I glance at the small amount of meatballs. “Oh! No!” I step away from the table. “No! You’ve got it all wrong!”

“I’m… sorry?” Rainbow raises one eyebrow, while squinting with the other eye. “Didn’t you say that humans eat meat?”

“Y-yeah!” I whip my head back to the bowl of meatballs, and then to the collected ponies. “But we don’t just eat it… with everything! We eat stuff like chips, and fruit, and biscuits for snacks.”

I’m desperate to get my point across. I don’t want these ponies to think I’m some sort of monster that shovels dead animal into my mouth at every possible opportunity.

“Meat is… Just a food, for us.” I manage to lower my voice. “We eat a lot of other stuff.”

The room falls into an awkward silence – well, except for the little record-player in the corner, which continues to quietly warble generic party music.

The five ponies still look surprised, although it is Applejack that is the first to recover her wits.

“Well shoot, ah’m sorry sugarcube.” She grinned sheepishly. “Ah guess we… overreacted a little.”

“Uh, yeah.” Rainbow grimaces, running a hoof through her mane. “We – uh – probably should have guessed that.”

Rarity looks like she’s about to say something, when suddenly Pinkie lets out a little ‘Ooh!’

We all turn to see her rubbing intensely at her chest area.

“Uhh… Pinkie?” I raise an eyebrow, imagining all the terrible ways the cloppers would interpret this.

“My chest hurts! Do you know what that means?” She giggles, jumping once on the spot.

“Uhh... Heart attack?” I offer immediately, before chuckling slightly – although the worried expression on the other ponies’ faces quickly . “Or… What?”

Pinkie giggles again. “No! It means that Twilight’s about to get mad!”

“Oh.” I sigh. ‘Okay, so it isn’t a heart attack.’

“Wait, what?”

Every head in the room suddenly turn as the door-latch clicks, and the door itself quietly swings open.

Twilight slips into the room, hunched over in an over-exaggerated display of tiptoeing, before her expression suddenly morphs into confusion as she realizes the lights are on.

I understand what happened. Twilight has heard me shouting in my sleep before, so she must have heard me shouting about the meat, and come to check on me.

It doesn’t really matter why she came in. What’s important is that things are about to get very... ‘shouty’.

The lavender mare stands up straight, looking around the room at us for a second, before suddenly scowling. I myself cringe mentally at what I'm sure is going to follow.

“Pinkie!”

Reflections

I look from Twilight to the others. Needless to say, this is a rather awkward and very volatile situation. Maybe I’ll be treated to a first hand view of Twilight’s rage mode.

The lavender mare herself steps forward, her horn lighting up as she aggressively tears the slice of cake from my hand.

“Did you eat anything? She demands, a hard edge to her tone.

“What? I… no!” I respond confusedly, surprised that she isn’t busy lecturing Pinkie. “Why?”

“Oh good.” Twilight visibly relaxes, dumping the slice of cake back onto the snack table. “That could have been very bad.”

“Why?” I ask again, before yawning. My lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me already.

“Just a second.” Twilight holds up a hoof as her horn starts to glow once more. “And don’t eat anything. Come on, Pinkie.”

“Ooo!” Pinkie coos as she is bodily lifted off the floor by Twilight, and carried out the door. “I bet this is gonna be fun!”

I watch perplexedly as Twilight extricates Pinkie from the room and closes the door behind them, leaving the rest of us to stand in silence. What the hell is going on?

I glance at the slice of cake that had Twilight so worried, and then at the others.

“So… uh… Fun party, right?”

“Ah wonder why the cake’s got Twi so worked up.” Applejack muses, also looking thoughtfully at the cake. None of us dare touch it, lest it blow up in our faces or something equally horrifying.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with the food?” Rainbow asks nervously. Everyone but Applejack and I had ripped apart the marshmallows and hay fries.

The three ponies look worriedly at the food, while I grimace. I sincerely doubt Pinkie would have poisoned anyone. That just isn’t her Pinkie way.

“I doubt it.” I speak clearly, leaning on my cane and yawning. “I don’t think Pinkie would give anypony dangerous food.”

“Indeed.” Rarity agrees readily – I think mostly to put her own mind at ease. “I’m quite sure Twilight is worrying about something else.”

I can hear Twilight’s muffled voice coming through the door. Her voice is raised, and I’m catching quite a few nasty words, like ‘dangerous’ ‘food’ and ‘kill’, which alarms me. The others don’t seem to hear it, and who am I to get them worried?

“Why, darling, you haven’t told me how your clothes fit!” Rarity suddenly pipes up. She seems desperate to change the subject, so I happily oblige. It stops me from running those three words through my head and trying to find a sentence that they fit in without scaring the shit out of me.

“You’re right.” I look down at the clothes I wore for the meeting with the princesses, which are reasonably ruffled from my sleeping in them. “They fit wonderfully. How did you do such a good job?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised what can be done as long as one has the correct measurements. It doesn’t matter what your body is shaped like, so long as I have the right lengths.” Rarity waves her hoof dismissively, even though we all know that compliments and flattery are her bread-and-butter.

I open my mouth to deliver an obligatory follow-up compliment, when the door opens, and Twilight cuts me off.

“Alright everypony, It’s time for Keys to get his rest.” She orders in a commanding voice that sounds similar to a watered-down canterlock.

Rarity tsks twice, a frown forming on her face. “I suppose we will have to finish our conversation another time. Enjoy your rest.”

“Thanks.” I respond in kind, yawning as the four mares slowly file out into the hall, where a rather bored looking Pinkie is waiting for them.

Once the five ponies have disappeared, Twilight shuts the door, and trots over to the snack table.

“So, are you sure you didn’t eat anything?” She questions me, while peering angrily at what remains of the food.

“Positive.” I reply uneasily. “Why?”

“It’s your nutrition.” Twilight explains rather hastily. “Trixie didn’t feed you properly in three whole weeks, which led to severe undernourishment and malnutrition.”

“Right…” Like with many of Twilight's lectures, I don’t see where this is going – which is an odd change of pace compared to my other conversations, considering that normally it’s quite easy for me to tell what is happening just by thinking about what would normally happen in the show. It isn’t the most reliable way to judge situations, as the ponies here frequently prove my ‘predictions’ wrong.

“Well, because of that, you lost quite a bit of weight.” Twilight continues her lecture, still glaring at the food as if it just slapped her mother – and I have no idea why.

“That I did.” I nod in agreement. I don’t know exactly how much, because I don’t know how to convert pounds into kilograms.

“Well, because of that we can’t give you too much food. There would be severe medical problems.” Twilight busies herself cleaning up the mess. “Maneworthy managed to heal the worst of it before when you first arrived at the clinic, but you've still lost an alarming amount of weight. If you eat too much, you could get dangerously severe indigestion.”

“How…” I shake my head in surprise. “How severe?”

Twilight grimaces, and mumbles the word; “Lethal”, at which I do a double-take. A lethal amount of indigestion?

While I try and make sense of that, Twilight gives me a short, overcomplicated and thoroughly confusing lecture on how Trixie magically slowed my metabolism, and all of the ways in which it was detrimental to my health. It all sounds perfectly reasonable, of course, but I see a gaping hole in what I’m being told.

“Hold on a second.” I crease my eyebrows. “I’ve been eating three square meals a day since Maneworthy took me off the liquid diet. Why hasn’t that been doing anything?”

“The cooks use their magic to bleach out most of the nutrients and the actual substance of the food.” Twilight explains. “They also remove at least half of the fat and calories. Mostly, you’re just getting energy and fat so that you can build up more body-mass.”

“Oh.” I blink in surprise as Twilight finishes cleaning up the party decorations.

I didn’t think that my treatment was requiring such extensive monitoring. I suppose I would have realized sooner or later, but before today I’ve been feeling pretty good. Now, over the course of a few short hours I’ve learnt that I’m actually as feeble as an eighty year-old, I’m susceptible to breakdowns, and that my food is being fine-tuned to my very specific needs.

I feel like such a burden at the moment. My entire existence in Equestria is nothing but work for everypony around me. Is there a name for the kind of guilt it gives me?

“I… I didn’t know that I required all that.” I finish the sentence with another yawn. This is what happens when I’m only allowed an hours sleep.

Twilight turns to look at me, detecting the guilt in my voice. “Oh no, don’t feel bad. It’s part of their jobs anyway.”

“Uh-huh.” I deadpan, my mood immediately switching into that of apathy. Have I mentioned that all of this sympathy and understanding is really starting to irritate me?

Just once, I want somepony to acknowledge the fact that I’m a burden. Can’t somepony just once point at me and say that I’m the one making their lives more difficult?

“Seriously.” Twilight turns around to face me properly as she adopts her ‘I mean it’ tone. “Don’t blame yourself. Trixie caused all of this. You have nothing-”

“Twilight.” I cut her off softly. “Can you please just… put a lid on all of the sympathy and understanding stuff?”

“Huh?” The lavender mare raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“It’s just…” I shake my head, trying to find the right words – which I can’t, so I settle on a more stripped down version of my thoughts. “It doesn’t make me feel any better.”

How does it make me feel? Can I call it ‘worse’?

Whenever somepony starts dishing out the empathy and kindness, my initial reaction is irritation, because I’ve received so much of it. After that comes… what? Guilt? Unease? I really don’t know what to call it. I can only describe it as a mixture of embarrassment at the treatment, and some strange version of guilt over the fact that they need to behave this way.

I wonder, if I was on earth, would I still be receiving this treatment? Eight days later in Equestria, everypony is still as caring and understanding as day one. Eight days later on Earth… I suppose it would just be the hospital staff still treating me kindly – And I would probably still be bedridden. There’s a huge difference in the quality-of-care between the worlds, mostly because of the magic possessed by unicorn doctors.

Twilight looks at me for a few seconds, summing up what I just said, before nodding.

“Okay. I’ll try.” Is all she has for a reply – and that’s all I can ask for. Asking Twilight not to be as nice as possible is like asking Rarity to stop being fabulous.

I nod, and give a little sigh. “Twilight, I really am sorry for all of the trouble. I know it’s all… necessary, but that isn’t going to stop me being sorry for it.”

“That’s…” Twilight falls silent as she realises that anything she can say would be sympathy, before suddenly letting out what is best described as a sarcastic laugh. “Wait… you…”

I can’t hold back a chuckle as I limp over to the curtains and pull them closed, before making my way back to the bed.

“But I mean it.” I add in a serious tone as I sit down. “Sorry.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see Twilight grinding her teeth, trying to meet my request. I can’t decided whether to be surprised that she’s already resorted to grinding her teeth, or admire her devotion to not offer any sympathy.

“You work too hard, Twilight.” I smile slightly as I pull back the sheets on my bed. “Seriously. You’re in Canterlot, so take a vacation – or at least a day off. You don’t need to spend all your time running around after me.”

“How do you know so much about us?” Twilight suddenly asks, which causes me to freeze.

I stay where I am for a second, before continuing to prepare the bed and turning on my bedside lamp. I should have known she’d ask this one sooner or later. I had simply hoped that it would be later.

“I’m really tired, Twilight. Maybe some other time.”

“Right.” The lavender mare can’t keep the disappointment out of her voice. It makes me feel a little bad, but it’s still better than actually telling her the truth about My Little Pony.

I lean my cane against the wall and slowly slide under the sheets without removing my clothes, giving Twilight an apologetic look. “Maybe some other time.” I repeat the phrase. “In the meantime, I want you to take a day off. Seriously.”

“Uh-huh.’ Twilight replies noncommittally, clearly dejected by my refusal to speak. Not learning something new about a subject that intrigues her can really mess up her day.

“No, not ‘Uh-huh’.” I reply forcefully. “Take a break, damn it! You’re working harder than Maneworthy, and he’s the doctor here.”

The lavender unicorn shrugs, not even attempting to hide her disappointment. “Maybe, if I don’t have anything pressing tomorrow.”

I sigh, pulling the blankets up over the sheets. Twilight promising to do something if she isn’t busy might as well just be an outright ‘no’.

“You need to work less.” I mutter at her.

Twilight doesn’t acknowledge the comment, instead she puts out the light while delivering an obligatory; “Sleep well”, which I note that she has still managed to infuse with sincerity.

“I’ll try. Take care.” I respond in turn, rolling over and waiting until she leaves.

It’s actually something worth noting that from what I’ve seen so far, the ponies of Equestria seem to hate leaving things on bad terms. Twilight still managing to deliver a sincere comment after I’ve rebuked her attempts to learn more about humanity is a very good example.

I can appreciate the notion. If humans were as unwilling to end exchanges on a sour note as the ponies, then I’m sure we would all be able to get along much better with each other. Friendships would last far longer, as would marriages.

I wait until I hear the door open and then close, before rolling back onto my back.

“Ugh.” I put my hands to my head. “Why do I have to make everything so difficult?”

The population of Earth could learn a lot from that of Equestria – and vice versa. The ponies here have a level of innocence one would never find in an adult human. I won’t say that they’re completely pure – I’m sure one could never find that in an adult of any species with the ability to think for itself – but there’s certainly a lot more here than on earth.

This, however, can be a serious shortcoming. If the ponies that had watched my show had been more willing to believe the worst of somepony, then I might have been freed within the first week of my enslavement.

Believe it or not, it is not easy to fall asleep while you are busy analyzing the strengths and shortcomings of different societies. In fact, it’s downright impossible.

It’s for that reason that I manage to put a leash on my musing, and turn my mind to more mundane issues.

Mundane issues in a world full of talking Technicolor ponies. It would make me laugh if I wasn't in such a somber mood.

With considerable grumbling – most of it relating to my tendency to make conversations irritating for the other participants – I roll onto my side once more, and close my eyes.

Despite how tired I am, I can’t stop thinking about how I’m already taking things for granted once more – such as Twilight’s patience. I’ve spoken with her for extended lengths of time each day since I woke up, and I’ve stepped around the touchy questions each time. To think that she’ll keep accepting my evasiveness is foolhardy.

More than that, I feel guilty. She’s working so hard to make sure I get the right care – and we’re still just in the physical stages of recovery. I have a literal fuck-tonne of therapy ahead of me, and we both know it. I have little doubt that she’ll be helping – if not taking complete responsibility for – the coordination for all that as well.

So why am I treating her this way? Why do I avoid her questions? With everything she’s doing, maybe it’s time that I told her a little more about humanity. About how our society functions. I’m sure that can tide her over for a while.

Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow – provided she doesn’t by some miracle take my advice and just relax for a while. No matter what, I’m going to apologize tomorrow – and not one of my little ‘I’m sorry’ comments, but a proper apology for being such a… such a dick.

I need to clear my conscience. So far, the only thing doing that has been my frequent mini-apologies for the trouble I cause – and of course that normally just leads to frustration as everyone shifts into sympathy mode.

These ponies are so nice – to a level you would never find on earth. Under any other circumstances I would love it, but at the moment all it does it frustrate and tire me out.

At least having a ‘game plan’ is reassuring. Maybe tomorrow I’ll ask Twilight if Equestria has actual computers – And if they don’t, then I’ll blow her mind with the concept of the computer. It’ll be a nice little future-shock experiment.

Glancing at my clock, I realize that it is only midday, and yet I’m so tired.

Who knows? Maybe by some amazing feat I’ll manage to sleep until tomorrow morning. That seems to happen all the time in bad books.

I’m still pondering the different conversations I could have with Twilight when I fall asleep.

Midnight Musings

WARNING: The following chapter contains a possibly offensive scene regarding suicide-by-hanging. Please keep in mind that it is meant as part of the narrative, and nothing else. The author means no offense by its inclusion in the story.

My legs flail around beneath me as I struggle, the movements sending my form swaying around in a wild circle.

The wire digs into my throat, bruising it as I struggle for oxygen. Try as I might, I am unable to drag even a wisp of air through my constricted throat.

My mouth opens to scream, although the only sound that manages to escape my lungs is a weak gurgling – The sound of a dying man.

My legs continue to lash out in all directions, searching vainly for a standing-surface that I know isn’t there, while my hands tug vainly at the piano wire wrapped around my neck. There’s no grip to be found.

My vision is starting to dim as the lack of oxygen begins to take effect, and my brain enters the first stages of shutting down.

I never should have done this.

What I’ve become is little better than an animal. I’ve become a depraved human being, driven to the edge by the apathy of those around me. My life has been stripped of any meaning. To say that I all I have left is the piano is a lie, because the piano is not mine. The piano is Trixie’s. It belongs to her – Just like me.

I am a man ending his existence by the only means available to him. I am twenty years of life born through a marvel of science and biology, being snuffed out by a length of ultra-thin steel.

I am both a coward, and the embodiment of bravery. I am a man that cannot face his situation – A man that cannot bring himself to live any longer in the hell his existence has become, and has chosen to engage in the ultimate act of cowardice.

And yet at the same time, I am a man who managed so summon up the bravery and courage to do the unthinkable. To strip myself of that which can never be returned. To say that what I’ve done is cowardly is incorrect. You cannot imagine just how much courage and conviction it takes to act on such thoughts.

What I’ve done… is something I never thought I would have the courage or the need to do.

My legs have stopped flailing by now. I no longer have the energy or the conviction to continue my struggle. I’ve done this, and no matter how much I struggle against it, it has begun, and I cannot stop it.

At least it doesn’t hurt anymore. The final moments are actually rather blissful, containing nothing but the sleepy acknowledgement that everything’s about to end. It’s the one moment in my life where I don’t have anything to worry about. I can just enjoy my last few seconds as myself, with nothing to stop me being just that.

Maybe this is what Sara meant. The end itself truly doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. The end is quite nice. It’s warm, and soft. I suppose for many – myself included – it’s those two aspects that draws us in, and makes us stop struggling. A little bit of comfort right before it all goes black.

I miss her. Why did she do it? We all thought she was happy. She certainly seemed happy – A very cheery individual. Like all of use she had her ups and her downs, but what could have driven her to it?

Any second now, Trixie’s going to ruin everything. She’ll cut me down, and I will fall. I’ll slam my crooked nose into the floor, and I will fall unconscious. Trixie will ‘save’ me from my final freedom – from my final happiness.

It barely registers in my drowsy mind when there’s no bang, no shout and no rescue.

I’m beyond caring. What I’ve done is the stupidest thing a human could ever do, but I’m well past the point where stupidity is relevant.

In fact, right before everything slips away, I only have one thought.

‘I miss Sara.’

***

The floor rushes up to meet me as I roll out of bed, its hard surface meeting the side of my face with as much yield as a brick wall.

I take a ragged gasp as I drag air into my lungs, ignoring the pain my meeting with the floor has caused.

My hands find their way to my throat, grasping at it to check for a length of piano wire that was never there, while I let out a pained groan.

I cough, rolling away from my bed and tearing my hands from my throat. I wasn’t crying in my sleep, but I am now.

“Fuck!” I exclaim in shock, reaching out aggressively and grasping my bedside table.

I haven’t had that one before. Before now, my mind hadn’t forced me to live through that pain again.

It’s far worse than the other dream. In the other, my hair is burning. That’s nothing compared to being forced to experience the entire process of hanging all the way to the end.

Slowly, I push myself up off the floor, using the table for support. I can’t see a thing, as the room is pitch-black.

I take another deep gasp of air, savouring the feeling of it rushing through my windpipe. At the same time, I manage to let out a little choked sob. I’m carrying so much mental baggage right now, and it’s probably going to be tethered to me for quite a while.

I snatch my cane aggressively from where I know it to be resting and turn around.

There are only two almost imperceptible sources of light in my room, neither of them managing to provide any illumination. One is the faintly luminescent display of the clock on the wall – which claims that it is eleven forty-seven. Judging by the darkness, I’d say that it's night.

The other source of light is a very faint amount slipping in under my door. The halls are never fully dark here, as they have low-power ‘walk-lights’ at night.

I wipe at my nose, which produces a wet trail of snot on the back of my hand.

I curse in disgust – and promptly wipe it on my pants. I have standards, and would never even consider doing it in any other situation, but right now I could care less.

Letting out another sobbing-hiccup, I hobble over to my door, before feeling around for the knob and opening it.

I need a walk.

The hall outside is indeed darkened, with the only illumination coming from the small strips in the floor, and some ultra-low lighting above. Overall, I can see as well as I would see on a clear night with a half-crescent moon. Okay, but not great.

So, I was right in thinking that I wouldn’t be able to sleep all the way until morning. That would be at least a full seventeen hours.

That said, I have managed to sleep for a grand total of eleven and a half hours. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to sleep that much at once.

I shuffle down the hall, headed towards the stairwell – which is always well-lit. They are stairs, after all.

If I had wanted light, I could have just stayed in my room and turned on the lamp – but right now I feel amazingly restless – and more than a little disturbed. I have just experienced an unbelievably vivid dream, reminding me that I nearly succeeded in killing myself.

I nearly ended my own life – and Trixie was on the verge of doing it herself after the Gala. To say I finally got a lucky break is an understatement. In the one short period of calm between me trying to off-myself, and Trixie euthanizing for being a worn-out asset, I managed to somehow free myself.

There were so many other ways this could have turned out. Anyone could have died as a result of that day, be it me, Trixie, Twilight, Rarirty or Cadance. Instead, we managed to reach the best possible conclusion. Admittedly, I would be much happier if I had managed to kill Trixie… but then I would probably be charged with ponyslaughter.

I can see light around the next corner, which pleases me. A walk to clear my head, and the comfort of light. Nothing provides a human with more confidence than the presence of light – well, except for booze, I suppose.

Hurrying my hobbled pace, I quickly shuffle around the corner, treating myself to a view of the properly lit stairwell. It doesn’t stop me from releasing another hiccup-sob, but those are getting less aggressive, and I’m managing to keep them rather quiet.

I rub at my eyes as I enter the brightly lit space. I don’t do it so much because of how bright it is, but more to wipe the moisture from my eyes.

To think that one mare caused all of this. Three weeks of torture and pain, and what will most likely be months – if not years – of psychological torment. That one bitch managed to fuck up my life more thoroughly than a precision nuke-strike, because the nuke strike would have just killed me.

I’m so frail. I certainly don’t look like who I once was. My face may have the same characteristics, and my general personality may be unchanged, but my body looks like it belongs to someone else – someone from the most impoverished region of Africa.

It’s so thin, and feeble. To think that I lost close to fifty pounds in two weeks. I still don’t know what that means in metric terms, but it certainly sounds like a lot.

With a little groan, I turn around and sit down on the bottom step of the flight leading up to the next floor. Not counting the ground floor, there are three stories to this building. I happen to be on level two. I’ve never been up to level three, nor have I properly explored the level one or the ground floor, but I gather that they are all much the same.

I peer out into the darkness of the hallway. With my eyes now adjusted to the high light-level of the stairwell, the rest of the building might as well be pitch-black.

It’s funny that throughout my entire ordeal, I always had light. There was always that strange candle above my cage that cast its odd light that never flickered, despite the fact that it was coming form a candle.

I never had to put up with the uncertainty and fear associated with darkness – in fact, at one point I was the one creating and capitalising on it. That was probably the most satisfying moment I experienced during my entire captivity.

I probably shouldn’t be thinking about my captivity. It’s making me feel a little claustrophobic, which in turn makes me want to go outside.

I could go back to my room and go out on the balcony. That’d be quite nice… or, I could just head upstairs. I’ve definitely never been up to the roof before, and I am already at the stairwell.

A short trip up to the roof it is then. It’ll be a nice harmless adventure to tire me out so that I can go back to sleep. Maybe the door will be locked – in which case, I’ll simply be getting a bit of exercise, which is fine by me.

With the help of my trusty cane – and a considerable amount of groaning – I climb back to my feet, and turn around once more.

Climbing the stairs is neither particularly easy nor overly physically demanding, but it takes a while. I just need to make sure I place my cane in the right position so that I can use it as leverage to climb each step.

It’s for that reason that it takes me a good ten minutes to climb up past level three to the door onto the roof, and I am left red-faced and panting by the – frankly – moderate exertions. I suppose it’s just more testimony to the fact that I have a long way to go before I’m back to any notably good condition.

It is to my surprise that the large red door leading out into the night air is not locked, and in fact opens very easily. It isn’t even heavy, as security doors really should be.

Then again, it wouldn’t matter if the security door was heavy or not. Pegasai can get onto the roof anyway, a unicorn can open the door no matter what its weight is, and you’d be hard pressed to find an earth pony that couldn’t buck a door open.

That’s a good question to ask Twilight: How does Equestria handle security? How do they stop unicorns from randomly invading homes with their magic? There’s so much for me to learn. And entire new culture to study – and one that is very similar to my own.

I hobble out onto the roof, giving out a little sigh as the cool night air brushes my skin. My efforts have already paid off, as I already have a beautiful view of the night sky.

The roof of the Canterlot Private Clinic is lined with a rail, of course, along with more of those little walk-lights, just in case somepony – or me – happens to come up here at night. It’s a nice touch, and is rather aesthetically pleasing.

I make my way over to the railing on the edge of the building that faces the city. The view is pretty-much the same as the one from my room – albeit less constrained on the sides and at a higher angle – but no less enjoyable.

I sigh as I lean against the railing. Today – although I think it’s after midnight now, so I should say ‘yesterday’ – has been a very interesting experience. For the moment, I have money, medical care, and freedom. That’s all I can really ask for.

The lights of Canterlot are twinkling, as they do. It seems that ponies like to enjoy using old-fashioned candles for reading. It’s one of their social quirks. They have electricity, and light bulbs, but ponies seem to be naturally inclined to pull out candles when asked to provide a light.

There are just so many things to learn. I feel like how Twilight must feel. There’s so much knowledge here, just waiting to be tapped. I can’t wait to learn as much as I can about the land of Equestria and its people.

I’ll have so much to ask. Do they have religion? Are wing-boners real? Is Applejack made of dark matter?

Canterlot truly is beautiful at night. Aside from the day when I awoke, this is my first night in which I’ve stayed up late enough to see the lights of the city.

I close my eyes and hum contentedly, savouring the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair.

‘My Little Pony… My Little Pony…’ The lyrics drift through my head as I imagine the opening notes of Dreaming With Ponies. It would compliment this entire scenario so well.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

I turn my head slightly at the voice, and let out a harsh laugh.

“I shouldn’t be here? Define here.” I chuckle sarcastically as Twilight comes to stand next to me. “I don’t think me being on the roof is overly important, when I’ve crossed between worlds to get to it.”

She doesn’t reply, as I continue to watch the twinkling lights of the city.

Deciding that I would rather continue talking than let the conversation lapse into silence, I open my mouth once more, speaking the first thing that comes to mind.

“It really is a beautiful city, Twilight.”

“It is.” She responds plainly. I can’t read the tone in her voice. I won’t call it annoyed, or empathetic. It seems completely neutral. That must be her complying with my request – although It would be nice if she replaced the sympathy with a little friendliness. Isn’t that what the show is all about?

“Tell you what.” I say, turning away from the view to look at the purple mare. “Promise me that you’ll go out and have a day off today – and follow through on that promise – and then we can sit down and talk about humans.”

“Wait, really?” The neutrality disappears from Twilight’s voice instantly. “Really?”

“Sure. I haven’t exactly been fair.” I smile, turning my attention back to Canterlot. “Might as well start making up for it.”

In a surprising turn, Twilight has nothing to add. She's sitting very still, but I can practically feel the excitement building inside her.

With a little sigh, I cast my eyes up to the stars.

“The moon is bigger here.”

“Huh?” Twilight shakes her head, caught off-guard by the random comment.

“The moon. It looks to be… an extra half as big as the one we see from earth.”

“Right.”

Twilight allows me a few minutes of silence for my stargazing. I don’t know the constellations, nor any individual stars, but I always like to just look. I have a whole explanation why, but at the moment I don’t really feel like going off on a long winded tangent about my insignificance in the universe. In my current state of mind, it’d probably just make me develop an inferiority complex.

Finally, I look at her again.

“Twilight, you’ve got a long day of doing nothing ahead of you. Maybe you should get some rest. I sincerely doubt I’ll be able to get to sleep any time soon.

The lavender mare looks at me thoughtfully. She’s still practically quivering with excitement, and I can feel my daw-meter twitching.

Finally she nods.

“Don’t stay out here too long.”

“I won’t.” I respond in kind turns away from the railing. “And thanks.”

“For what?”

I consider what to say. Should I thank her for agreeing to take today off, or for trusting me to stay out here on the roof a little longer? Maybe I should thank her for everything she’s done in general.

Finally, I just smile and say; “A lot of things.”

“Uhh… you’re welcome?” Twilight returns the thanks awkwardly. My sudden promise has really caught her off-guard.

“Goodnight, Twilight.” I turn back to look at Canterlot once more.

“Goodnight Keys.” Twilight responds in kind, before trotting away.

Cadance's Troubles - Part 2

I tug at my clothes, briefly checking to make sure that I haven’t somehow defiled them on the walk to the palace.

This seemed like a pretty good idea up until now. At the moment, all I can think of is how I know nothing about dealing with traumatized individuals. That said, I can’t just leave. I’m pretty sure that Cadance knows I’m here. I did knock, after all.

With a quick nervous swallow, I slowly walk over to the princess’s couch and stand beside it, mulling over what I’m going to say.

I stand still for a moment, hoping that Cadance will open the conversation. She doesn’t, of course.

Finally, I clear my throat and open with I quiet and respectful greeting.

“Good morning.”

Cadance doesn’t respond, although her eyes turn towards me. She looks like she’s been crying.

I gesture at the second couch, arranged to sit at a ninety-degree angle from Cadance’s so that they both have a view out the window.

“May I?”

The pink alicorn nods slightly, watching silently as I slowly sit down, and rest my cane across my lap.

I myself am quiet, simply staring out the window at the spectacular view of the countryside. It blows the view I have from the Clinic out of the water.

After a good twenty seconds, I turn to look once more at Cadance, who apparently hasn’t taken her eyes off me.

“How are you feeling?” It seems as good a place to start as any. I have no idea what I’m doing, so I suppose at the moment there’s no ‘wrong’ approach – aside from pointing and laughing, of course.

“Fine.” Cadance replies softly. It’s more than I expected – in fact, almost more than I hoped for – for her to be talking, even if she’s lying through her teeth at me.

“No, Cadance.” I don’t change my expression, also speaking in a quiet and soft tone. “How do you feel?”

The pink mare bites her lip, taking a few seconds to look out at the sunrise as she mulls it over.

“…Bad.”

“Bad?” I press the matter gently, even though I already know that she’s feeling bad, and I also have a fair idea why. “And why do you feel bad?”

“It’s… I…” Cadance brings a hoof up to her head, and I notice that there’s a strip of white bandage hidden underneath her mane.

She falls silent, and turns to stare out the window. I wait ten whole seconds before I realise that she isn’t going to say anything.

I frown. What we need right now is a subject change. Possibly to a triviality, so that I can ease her into conversation.

Of course, I’m not a sociologist, which means that I’m probably going to misread the situation, and any plan I make is likely to blow up in my face.

It’s to my surprise that it’s Cadance who changes the subject – although it isn’t to what I expected. From one touchy subject to another, actually.

“How could a pony be so evil?”

I nod thoughtfully. Of all ponies, Cadance would be able to understand how evil others can be – after all, she was kidnapped by the changelings – But I can also see how shocking it must be for her to realize that such a level of evil can also exist in the population Equestria itself.

“Sometimes… sometimes ponies are just bad.” I speak softly, trying not to think about Trixie herself. “It’s normally a matter of where and how they grew up, and with whom.”

I need to make myself clear. I don’t want Cadance coming away from this with the wrong message.

“But...” Cadance looks down at her hooves while I briefly think about how this is going much better than I’d hoped. “That mare… she…”

“Don’t think about it, Cadance.” Right now all I want to do is hug her, but that could easily be as much a negative action as it could be a positive one. “Trying to understand why Trixie did… what she did, is a waste of time.”

I shudder slightly as I remember the beatings, and the fire. “What’s important is that she did do it.”

“And look at what she did.” Cadance gestures at me, still talking in that same diminished voice. I watch as she takes in my gaunt face and thin form, before once again voicing her first question. “How can somepony be so evil?

“Cadance, how can somepony be so kind?” I counter, looking pointedly at her. “Do you know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t come? Do you know what Trixie was planning?”

“Yes I do!” Cadance suddenly raises her voice, and I realize that I haven’t exactly helped my argument with that point. “She was going to… to…”

The pink alicorn trails off, turning her eyes to the window. “She was… was going to… kill…”

I can see tears welling up in her eyes. Cadance, the mare who’s special talent is interacting with the emotions of others, unable to control her own.

“Trixie is the proof that there will always be ponies that try to take advantage of each other, and that there will always be ponies who are willing to do unspeakable things in the name of bits. It’s a by-product of any society where there are those who earn more, and hold more power than others.”

I stand up and move to sit next to Cadance, placing a hand on her shoulder. “And then there’s you. You’re proof that there will always be ponies with hearts so pure that mine wilts in comparison. Do-no-wrong ponies who would never think of harming anypony else.”

Cadance doesn’t smile, which is what I was hoping for. She does, however, acknowledge my praise.

“I… th-thank you, but what about all of them?” She raises one hoof to wipe the tears from her eyes before gesturing out at the Equestrian countryside, and the city of Canterlot that we cannot see.

Even as she finishes the statement, it clicks into place for me. This isn’t just about what Trixie did. This is about what other ponies could do. If I understand this right; after seeing what Trixie was willing – and prepared – to do, Cadance has started to question her faith in her fellow pony.

No matter what, she must not lose it. This is Cadance. What would happen if she hated her own kind?

I never thought that my enslavement could have triggered such a pivotal and important crisis for the princess. To think that because of what happened to me, she could turn into a self-hating introvert that always sees the worst in others…

It makes me shudder.

I refuse to let this happen. There is no way I will stand by as Cadance pulls herself apart over this.

“Cadance!” I exclaim sharply, removing my hand from the princess’s shoulder as she gives a little start of surprise.

“What? What is it?” She’s clearly startled, confused as to why I’ve raised my voice.

I shake my head, taking a quick second to gather my thoughts before beginning.

“Cadance, you can’t just lose faith in your fellow pony over the actions of one single mare. The ponies of Equestria are the most good-natured and friendly creatures I’ve ever seen.”

I take a deep breath. “Trixie’s show ran for three whole weeks, and it was seen by several thousand ponies. In that time, not a single one even suspected that I could be an intelligent creature. It didn’t matter that I was playing the piano, or that I was wearing fabrics. They simply didn’t consider it, because none of them thought that another pony could do what Trixie did.”

I pause quickly running through the next stage in my speech. My mind is in overdrive at the moment, as I slam words together in my mind to try and make my point as coherent and convincing as possible. I know everything I need to say. It’s pretty much a standard ‘Don’t lose hope’ speech with my own opinions thrown in. All I need to do is make it convincing.

“The ponies in Equestria are absolutely wonderful. They shout compliments and apologies at me when I go out on my balcony. Three teenagers stopped me in the street yesterday just to compliment me and apologize for what Trixie did. None of them had anything to do with it, and yet they all apologized.”

The princess looks doubtful at my words, although in my opinion I’ve made an amazing amount of progress since the conversation started. The topic of discussion may be touchy, but it’s an area where I can make a lot of progress in drawing Cadance out of her shell.

“Cadance.” I return my hand to her general shoulder area. “Never, ever think that the ponies of Equestria are anything less than a shining example of kindness and friendliness, and don’t you dare lose faith in them because of what that one mare did.”

Cadance looks thoughtfully out of the window, while I wait nervously. It’s is unbelievably important to me that she retains her love for others.

She’s still thinking it over, and all I can do is add a few more words. They aren’t well thought out, and they don’t have a deeper meaning, but it’s the best I can do.

“Cadance, if you ever need an example of how good ponies can be – of how good most ponies are – all you need to do is look at Celestia, and Luna. Look at the Elements of Harmony, and your husband. Take a trip to Ponyville, and you’ll see exactly how good most ponies are.”

The princess nods softly, showing a little more conviction. “You’re… you’re right…”

I’m overcome by waves of both relief and disbelief. My improvised bull-charge of an approach has actually worked. If Equestria wasn’t influenced by the many tropes of television, then I’m sure this would have been a crushing failure.

“So, you’re feeling better?” I press gently, once again removing my hand from Cadance’s shoulder as my voice drops back down into the soft tone we began the conversation in.

She nods, not offering thanks or any other acknowledgement – which is absolutely fine. For once, things aren’t revolving around me. For once, I can be the one helping someone else.

Slowly, I stand up and plant my cane on the ground.

“Things can always get better, Cadance.” I put my weight onto the cane and give a little weary sigh. “No matter what, things can get better. I’m living proof of that. You should enjoy Equestria, because it’s damn better than where I come from.”

The alicorn has no response, which is still just fine.

I look down at Cadance – who has turned her eyes to me – and smile.

“Get well soon.” I nod at her, before turning and hobbling away.

Cadance stays where she is as I walk away. It honestly seems like the perfect, most ideal ending to this whole mess. I even managed to avoid getting caught up in a shi-

“How do you know Aria?”

I freeze, practically locking up as my heart immediately doubles its pace. The only noise I let out is a loud cough in place of a surprised noise.

‘Shit. Shit.”

I’m starting to panic. I was going to talk to Twilight about this stuff. Not Cadance. I haven’t even had time to get all of my answers in order.

What do I say? What did I decide on? Why have I fucking forgotten?

Without any better alternatives, I simply turn around to look at Cadance. I need to stall for time.

“Ahem.” I clear my throat as a follow up to the cough. “Excuse me… I’m sorry, pardon?”

The pink alicorn is staring at me intently, seeing straight through my ruse.

“I asked how you know Aria.” Her voice isn’t angry, or irritated, or accusatory. In fact, it’s exactly the same voice she’s been using for our entire conversation – albeit with a little more volume for the increased distance.

My mind is racing. There has to be a way to sidestep this. There has to be a way I can wriggle out of it.

Desperate for a little more time, I manage to compose myself, and fall back on my only remaining tactic for question diversion.

“Cadance…”I look past her at the sun. It’s well over the horizon now, and I can see multiple pegasai flying out above Canterlot. “Do you ever think that maybe… that maybe there are some things that you’re…”

My partially rhetorical question goes unfinished and unanswered, and upon looking at Cadance I see that her expression has only changed in one way. Now she looks more curious.

I’d rather not finish the statement. It would just make things worse.

I never thought that trying to be mysterious and enigmatic would work here. Everypony is too naturally curious.

Nervously licking my lips, I open my mouth and let a hesitant “Uh.”

I’m out of cards to play – and if there’s some other way to get out of this, I can’t see it.

“Cadance… there… there are some things that…” I trail off, realizing that I was about to simply continue with the diversion.

“I mean… we… we have…”

I fall silent again, and Cadance turns to look back out the window. What is she thinking?

I open my mouth, unsure of what I will actually say, when I am suddenly cut off by the one pony that I could never be happier to talk to than I am right now.

“Oh, are you done?” Maneworthy asks in a hushed voice.

“Huh?” I whip my head around. “Uh, yeah. I guess we are.”

“Good.” He nods briskly. “We’ve got to get moving soon.”

“Right. Just a second.” I motion with my head to Cadance, and Maneworthy nods his own in reply, before turning and walking back into the ‘maybe-dining room’.

I take an unsteady breath, saved from what could possibly have been an unheard-of level of hell.

Slowly, I walk back to Cadance, who is once again looking out the window. She’s carrying a sour expression, which makes me feel bad.

I take half a minute to quickly gather my thoughts, managing to recall a few key points that should be able to get me out of this.

“Listen, Cadance.” I begin unsteadily, unwilling to leave the conversation with something as rude as letting myself be dragged away by Maneworthy. “There’s a reason I can’t tell you – and it’s not what you’d think?”

“What is it then?” She asks sharply, her voice also conveying a fair bit of curiosity.

“It’s Twilight.” I put a partly-sincere smile on my face. “I promised that I’d answer her questions tonight if she took today off for a break. That promise means nothing if I just hand out answers to somepony else first.”

Cadance blinks twice, showing that I’ve taken her by surprise. This is the perfect way to back down from her question without invalidating everything I said to try and break her depression. It makes sense

I’m not even lying. Like I said, I will be talking to Twilight, and I will try to answer as many of her questions as I can. It’s also true that just handing out answers to Cadance would make my promise empty and meaningless – although at the moment I am just using it as an excuse to get out of this.

“I… I guess that makes sense.” Cadance begins uncertainly, her resolve slipping away in the face of my hastily constructed logic. “She has been working a lot lately…”

Hopefully, once I’ve talked to Twilight, I won’t have any more questions to avoid. I’ll answer as many as I can, and redirect the ones that I can’t. Lying is a bad idea, because my answers could eventually come up in a conversation with Applejack.

“Listen, Cadance.” For no particular reason, I tap my cane on the ground twice. “For now, just think about what I’ve said, and tomorrow Twilight can answer your questions for me.”

Cadance seems hesitant, but my tactical use of the Twilight card manages to pay of. Eventually, she nods, which draws a relieved sigh from me.

“Okay. Just… if you can just wait until tomorrow, and you’ll have all of your answers.”

The alicorn nods again, and I give an awkward little bow.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Princess.” I finish rather formally, before turning around once more and starting to hobble away.

After a few steps, I pause and turn back to look at Cadance. She’s standing now, and has moved over to look out the window.

“By the way, Princess.” I cough delicately. “I never did thank you for what you did… so… thanks. If you hadn’t come along, I’d be dead by now.”

Cadance turns to look at me, smiling ever so slightly.

“You’re welcome.”

I nod before continuing my shuffle back to the dinning room, now smiling myself. Earlier, I said that the ponies of Equestria seem adverse to leaving things on bad terms.

Well – to be honest – so am I. I wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I alienated any of the ponies here.

Maneworthy and Shining both break off their hushed conversation as I enter what is definitely a dining room. Their expectant and hopeful looks make me feel quite proud of myself.

Equestria isn’t the most logical place. Sure, there are ponies like Twilight and Maneworthy, who are well educated and have just as good logic skills as me, but far more ponies seem to be more impulsive. From what I can tell, it puts me at a bit of an advantage with my ability to reason things out.

Of course, I could be completely wrong. I would never bet my life on my observations of Equestria, as they seem to be just as likely to be incorrect as they are to be correct. I haven’t exactly talked to a sizeable portion of the population, which means that I don’t really have that many ponies to base my observations on.

Long story short: Many ponies in Equestria don’t seem overly logical, but what I think about Equestria is unreliable, as I don’t really have much to base them on.

I smile at the two stallions. “Progress, gentlecolts.”

“Really?” Maneworthy and Shining both ask at the same time, their voices incredulous.

I nod. “I’m not sure how much… but… well, Shining, maybe you should go talk to her. What she needs now is comfort, and you’re the pony to give it to her.”

“Uh, sure!” Shining stands up abruptly, clearly surprised by the turn of events. “Thanks!” He roughly pushes his hoof into my hand and pumps it once, before rushing out the door.

I smile broadly. Is this what it’s like to be those people who fix broken families? Probably not, considering that their family was never broken.

Maneworthy still looks rather surprised at my apparent success. I suppose he didn’t think I’d be able to make much progress at all – as did I.

“How did you…”

“Cadance was – and possibly still is – having a crisis about her faith in her fellow pony.” I explain in a stripped down version. “So I just told her to look around her, and see that most ponies she will find are upstanding and moral.”

The doctor grins. “And that’s why I could never be a psychiatrist. I wouldn’t know where to begin dealing with something like that.”

“I didn’t either.” I shrug. “All I needed to do was ask her how she was feeling.”

Maneworthy nods, raising his front leg and checking his watch. “Oh. We need to get moving soon.”

“Let’s just go now. I think it’s better if they’re alone.” I quickly glance out the door to see Cadance and Shining sitting on back down on the left-hand couch, embracing in a hug.

“I would be inclined to agree.” Maneworthy steals a glance at the scene as well. “We should go give your statement, and then check out your accommodation after that.”

“Right.” For once, I take the lead, quietly walking back towards the exit.

Right now, I am one lucky person. Like so many other things, this turned out better than I could ever have hoped. I achieved more than I hoped, and I managed to avert a real shit-storm over my Brony Knowledge.

And because of that I know that my luck certainly can’t last. No matter how lucky a person is, they should never bet on it coming to their rescue every time. Never take something as game-changing as luck for granted.

We slip out of the front door, trying to be quiet as possible as Shining and Cadance continue their loving embrace.

Storybook love. It’s such a beautiful thing. Too bad I’d never have been able find it on earth.

After all, my first attempt didn’t exactly end well.

Keys' Statement

“Wow…” I look around in surprise as we enter the hall. “They… they took the entire theatre?”

“It’s close to the scene.” Maneworthy explains. “And there’s a lot of space for evidence.”

I don’t respond, looking around the vaulted space. It’s brightly lit by the house and stage lights, showing that the edges of the hall have been filled with security cases and cabinets containing photos and documents. The stage is also occupied by such storage units, along with a number of desks and tables. It is to my surprise that the investigators have not moved the grand piano from the centre of the stage.

There are ponies everywhere. Quite a few are using the hundreds of seats as improvised work-spaces, while more are working around the edges of the hall and up on stage. All of them seem extremely hurried.

Maneworthy looks around disinterestedly, which gives me the impression that he's already seen all this. “I hear the trial is coming soon. I suppose they’re making sure they have everything.”

I nod, still not talking as Maneworthy begins to walk down the isle.

We come to a stop almost as soon as we start moving as the doctor talks to one of the multiple ponies going over papers in their work-spaces. “Excuse me. I’m looking for Detective Lockhooves.”

“On the stage.” The stallion responds quickly, pausing before turning back to his papers to look at me.

I nod at the officer, before continuing to walk after Maneworthy.

Of course, I should have realized that this might be a tense meeting. These ponies have been going over the scene for eight days. They’ll have had a myriad of evidence to look over. Quite a few will know a large amount of what happened to me.

So what does that mean? Will they give me respect for coming through it, or will they just pity me?

Maneworthy mounts the stairs to the stage, once again asking the nearest pony for the location of Detective Lockhooves.

We are directed closer to the middle of the stage, and continue our walk. I myself keep my pace rather slow, taking a moment to view all of the evidence.

The glass-fronted cases hold more items than I care to count. Most of what I see are papers arranged out one-by-one, many of them detailing different analyses of different pieces of evidence. The evidence items themselves are normally somewhere in the case with their many reports.

I spot fragments of Trixies’ destroyed wagon, and individual items from both my prison and from my captor’s own possessions. Some things look familiar, while most are just random lengths of wood and metal.

I don’t see anything to trigger a memory of my enslavement or a reaction. Out of the broken fragments, multiple books and various assorted items the only notable object is a bag containing some green leaves, which must be the herb that Trixie had been taking to mellow herself.

What I do see is a case with pictures of Twilight. There are quite a few close-ups and X-rays of the cast that she had worn for five days after the Gala. Magic can heal sprains rather quickly, apparently.

“Detective Lockhooves?” Maneworthy asks, dragging my attention back to the matter at hand.

“Yeah?” A tan unicorn mare looks up from her desk, which is laden with papers. “You must be Maneworthy.” She holds out a hoof, which Maneworthy promptly shakes.

“And you…” Lockhooves turns to look at me, quickly summing up my figure. “...look terrible. ‘Keys’, right?”

“Or the Piano Man. Whichever you prefer.” I reply bitterly, accepting her offered hoof. “Good morning, Detective.”

Lockhooves nods briskly. “You should be happy to know that we’ve got everything pretty much wrapped up. We’re still waiting on a few analyses to come back, which just leaves… you.”

I nod. “You need the story.”

“The statement.” Lockhooves corrects me – as if it actually makes any difference.

“Right. The ‘statement’.” I purse my lips. “So how are we doing this?”

“Simple.” Lockhooves stands up from her hooves, closing the folder she was looking over. “We sit you down in a room with a scribe and a couple of witnesses, and you tell us what happened. Are you up for it?”

I nod. “I just want to get it out of the way.”

“I’m sure.” Lockhooves nods, before sitting back down. “The scribe isn’t here yet, so I’ll need to wait for him. Maneworthy can take you up to the royal box.”

“I can?” Maneworthy raises an eyebrow, before shrugging. “Sure. Why not?”

Lockhooves nods at the doctor – something she must enjoy, considering how many times she's done it – before flipping open the file with her magic again. “We should be ready to start soon. I would take some time to get comfortable if I were you.” She glances at me. “All things considered.”

I crinkle my nose slightly. I am seriously not in that delicate a state of mind. Really.

I feel like protesting, but at the same time I know that doing so wouldn’t change anything. I’m in no position to convince these ponies that I’m fine, because I’m not. I’m just not as bad as they think I am. The problem is, I can't just say 'Okay, I'm bad – just not that bad', because that would eventually just be interpreted as me saying that I am indeed in a bad way.

“Thank you, Detective.” Maneworthy takes a step away from Lockhooves and turns to me. “I suppose we should go and get settled.”

“Yeah. Sure.” I respond quietly, following the doctor as he turns away.

***

The princesses have really prioritized this investigation – so much so that the Royal Box has had its seats removed, although I don’t think they were permanent fixtures anyway.

Now the box is dominated by a reasonably sized rounded table, which – in keeping with most of the surfaces down on the theatre floor – carries quite a few papers. A glance reveals them to be a massive list of different pieces of evidence, listing what is useful and what has been discarded as irrelevant.

One of the many investigators is halfway through the process of sorting the papers and arranging them into large stacks. He nods briefly at us, using his magic to push the remaining unsorted pages to the far edge of the table.

I drop heavily onto one of the cushions, groaning as Maneworthy takes the place next to me.

“You feeling okay?” He asks softly as we both disinterestedly watch the investigator complete his task.

“I’m fine.” I reply irritably. “Can we just get through this?”

“Right, Right.” The doctor replies hastily, which only serves to further irritate me. They just never stop.

I sigh wearily and turn away from Maneworthy. “Yeah.” I look out over the theatre, noting that Lockhooves has left her desk. “Seriously. I’m fine.”

Maneworthy has no reply, which leaves me a little time to think.

They’re having a scribe write down my statement, so will it be a unicorn, or will it be Spike?

Speaking of the purple little dragon; I’ve only seen Spike once since I woke up – although that was for a good few hours. He came by with Twilight on the third day, and spent most of his visit sorting my clothes into drawers. Very nice of him.

I roll my shoulders absentmindedly, looking back at Maneworthy.

“This is going to be fun.” I comment sarcastically, at which Maneworthy nods. “So when’s the trial, anyway?”

“They haven’t set a date yet.” He replies quietly. “But it’ll probably start sometime in the near future, considering how fast they got through the investigation.”

I nod. The trial is going to be… difficult, I suppose. I have no clue how I’ll react when I see Trixie, but I can’t imagine it’ll be good. I’ve attached so many negative emotions to that monster.

Biting my lip thoughtfully, I glance at Maneworthy, who is now reading from a newspaper dated for yesterday. I briefly wonder what interesting news topics there might be that don’t pertain to me, but have no time to ponder it further as the door to the box opens.

Lockhooves trots in through the door, now carrying a far more official air.

“Okay, we just need to get all set up.” She speaks quickly as Spike appears in the doorway, a slightly daunted look on his face.

“Right. Morning Spike.” I nod at the purple dragon, who responds with a nervous head-nodding of his own.

“Uh, hey.” Spike grins nervously. “Boy, I haven’t done something like this before.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine.” I reassure him. I'm not sure if I'd rather having him or some random unicorn for this. Spike's nice enough... but this is something rather heavy for him to be writing down, if you ask me.

I turn back to Lockhooves. “So how-”

“Just a second.” She cuts me off. “We’re still waiting on our other witnesses.”

I nod, turning back to the door even as two more ponies appear. One is Twilight, who is laden down with two bulky saddlebags, and the other is a cream-colored Pegasus stallion with a dark green mane.

After a few seconds, their conversation ends and the two trot over to the table. I’m pretty sure that I know what's what’s coming next.

“Keys, I’m sorry.” The lavender mare begins hurriedly. “Nopony told me that I had to be here. Apparently Spike needs his guardian present for this, so-”

“Twilight, it’s fine.” I wave my hand dismissively. “I think I’d prefer you being here anyway.”

‘At least then she’ll know.’

She nods, before gesturing at the stallion. “Oh, and this is… uh...”

“Thunder Glider.” The pony in question offers helpfully, saving us from an awkward silence. “I’m a sergeant in the royal guard’s aerial division.”

“Good to meet you.” I offer my hand, which Thunder accepts. “Are you serving as a witness?”

“I am.” He nods. “Captain Armor had more pressing matters to attend to…”

Maneworthy and I share a quick glance.

“...so I was told to come along. Sorry about what happened, by the way.” Thunder finishes awkwardly.

“Everypony keeps apologizing for it, even though nopony but Trixie did anything wrong.” I smile slightly. Complaining about trivialities helps to lighten the somber mood that I've managed to develop despite my resolution to mope around less. “So just don’t mention it.”

“Done.” Thunder returns my half smile with a full-hearted grin. “I’m sure this will be difficult enough as it is.”

I nod grimly. “I’d prefer that this be the only time I tell the story – for now, at least.”

“Understandable.” The guardspony nods. “I suppose we should get started.”

“Yeah.” I settle back on my cushion as Twilight takes the spot next to me. Spike positions himself next to her, while Thunder and Lockhooves both sit on the other side of the table.

The room is silent for a few seconds as the Detective organizes a few papers, and the investigator that was stacking the evidence logs quickly hurries out.

Twilight produces a short stack of paper from one of her saddlebags, placing them in front of Spike along with a quill and inkwell.

Finally, everypony in the room turns to look at me, waiting patiently for me to start.

I take a deep breath, propping my head up by resting my elbows on the table. I suppose the best thing to do is to not linger on anything. I’ll need to tell the story properly, but that doesn’t mean I need to dwell on it.

It’ll probably feel good to get this all out there. I have yet to actually tell anypony what exactly happened to my hair. I wonder if Maneworthy noticed that his magic had healed the burnt tissue during surgery - and if he did notice, did he guess what happened?

Then again, what exactly defines that moment as the most traumatic part of my slavery? My hair was set on fire, yes... but now that I think about it, I’m sure my attempt at suicide was far more damaging.

This is all starting to pull me down into a rut. It certainly isn’t helping me to mope less – which is probably why it’s best to get all of this crap out of the way now. Maybe then the ponies around me will be able to offer better-suited condolences that won’t drive me up the wall.

I blink in surprise as I realize that I’ve just been sitting here, saying nothing. To the others, it must look like I’m hesitating. Is it worth taking a few seconds to explain that I was just reflecting on the more traumatic experiences? Probably not. It’d just be awkward and unexpected, really.

I take another breath, and watch as Spike puts the quill to the paper in anticipation.

“The beginning.” I start unsteadily. “Is either the easiest, or the hardest part to hear. It depends on how you look at it.”

Spike glances at Twilight, who nods, prompting him to write down my topic-evasive opening.

I wait until I hear the quill stop scratching against the paper out of courtesy. I already know that Spike can keep up with a dictation, and I shouldn’t need to explain how I know that.

“And I suppose…” I take yet another deep breath. My heart is racing for no apparent reason. I feel stressed, even though nothing about this is overly stressful. “That the second half of the story is the opposite. I myself prefer the ending to the beginning, but I'm sure you know why.”

I pause. What am I doing? I’m just spouting a whole mess of bull-shit, for the most part. I need to stop procrastinating, and just get on with it.

Taking my own mental cue, I suddenly launch into the story, attempting to keep my voice measured and calm. It’s coming out a little shaky though, which I think is just my nerves, as I’m definitely anxious to get this all off my chest.

“I’m a pianist, which is to say; Someone who plays the piano. I don’t know how Trixie selected me for her… her plan. Maybe it’s because I happened to be playing piano at the exact moment she chose to perform her summoning spell, or maybe it was just dumb luck.

“Whatever the selection system was, I’m the one she summoned. I was at home. I’d just finished the morning rituals… showering… breakfast… and I sat down to play the piano…”

I don’t look up from the table as I tell the story. Spike’s quill constantly provides background noise to my dictation. I need to pause every so-often as Spike dips the tip in the inkwell again, which is good. It allows me to quickly arrange how I’m going to word the next sentence.

“And when I went to play the first chord of a song…”

The ponies continue to listen quietly as I tell my story.

***

“And… Trixie…”

I take a deep breath. I feel shaky. Telling my story has taken quite a while. I haven’t been privy to a clock, but I think it’s been at least an hour – If not two – of talking.

The ponies have been very supportive. Even right now, Maneworthy and Twilight each have a hoof on both of my shoulders. The collected group of five listeners have spent most of the time contributing different noises conveying different emotions at different points in the story. The worst came from Twilight when she learnt that I’d tried to hang myself once I'd lost hope after the Ponyville show, and the biggest reaction as a group came when they heard about what Trixie did to my hair.

Sympathy is in no short supply at the moment, and for once I’m happy to receive it. Their little noises help reassure me that I’ve been through something truly horrible, and that my mindset is perfectly acceptable for someone who’s gone through all that.

I managed to successfully edit out anything pertaining to My Little Pony’s existence as a show, which is good. If I had been unsuccessful at that, then Twilight would have even more awkward questions for me to answer tonight.

“Trixie turned away.” I cough slightly. “I don’t know why, but she seemed to think that she’d given me a killing wound. It was as if she thought I’d drop dead immediately.”

I ponder my next words carefully. The self-defence-attempted-equicide section is a little daunting for me.

“So… I attacked.” I offer the words meekly. “I got Trixie's attention, and when she turned around I hit her in the head with the bar. It… threw her a few meters away… and it shattered her horn.”

I wait a couple of seconds for some sort of reaction, but none is forthcoming. I suppose they already know this part.

“And then…” I bite my lip. “I tried to kill her. I wanted her dead so much.”

Maneworthy takes his hoof off my shoulder for a second, only to bring it back down in a reassuring pat as I continue my story.

“But I didn’t have the strength to.” I wince mentally at my failure. “I’d lost too much blood. And… then Twilight…”

“That’s fine, Keys.” Lockhooves interrupts. “That’s all we need.”

I nod sullenly, still not looking up from the table. My hands are bone white, clasped tightly around my walking stick. It only hits me now that I haven’t moved from this position since I started talking.

Finally, I tear my eyes away from the fine-grain wood in front of me and look up at the ponies around me.

Their reactions are extremely varied. Maneworthy looks concerned, Spike seems a little shocked, and Twilight looks nothing less than horrified.

Glancing across the table, I see that Lockhooves’ face is still a professional mask, while Thunder’s expression conveys mostly pity, and a small amount of respect.

“Right.” I cast my eyes downwards again. “Is that it?”

“Yes.” Lockhooves nods. “Good work, Keys. You’ve been very brave, and with your statement we can make sure that Trixie gets the punishment she deserves.”

I almost scoff at her words. ‘You’ve been very brave’ is the worst stock line she could have used.

“So… does anyone mind if…” I slowly push both hands down onto the table, attempting to push myself up onto my feet. “…I take a walk?”

“Of course not.” Maneworthy replies as both him and Twilight slip their hooves under my arms and help me to my feet.

“We’ll just go over your statement.” Twilight speaks softly. “You can take as long as you want.”

“Thanks.” I nod at both ponies, thanking them both for helping to my feet and letting my go for a walk.

They both return the nod, and I feel all five of them watching me as I slowly make my way to the door. I can only imagine what they’re going to discuss while I’m gone, because I’m sure it won’t be limited to the legal side of all this.

***

I run my hand along the side of the piano, letting out a low hum of frustration. Retelling my story has jarred loose quite a few unpleasant memories – all of which would be better off how still buried in the darker corners of my mind.

Right now, I can remember every single time she struck me. Every little wrong done to me by that bitch is floating around my head, dragging me down into a melancholy pit.

This was all necessary, of course. If I hadn’t done this, then the court wouldn’t be able to do anything against Trixie. That said, it doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it – scratch that. I could never enjoy it. Ever.

Maybe this is progress towards getting over what happened. Sharing my story is probably one of the many steps towards the far-off goal of recovery. If only reaching it didn't involve dealing with this whole mess.

I still can’t fathom why they haven’t moved this piano. Surely they could spare a little time to shift it. Maybe the space wasn’t badly needed, or maybe the investigators have actually been that busy.

I run my hand along the key-lid. This white giant is the last piano I played, and that was a grand total of eight days ago. That’s the longest I’ve gone in years without so much as touching the ivories.

It isn’t like I have something against the piano. Pianos didn't cause what happened. It wasn’t their fault for existing, and it wasn’t my fault for playing them. Trixie’s the only one to blame. Her and her lust for money caused all of this.

After a pause, I pull out the stool and sit down, deftly flicking up the lid to reveal the keys. I might as well play now, as I don’t intend on going back to the booth. The others can sort everything out without me – I mean; they’ve been doing it just fine so far.

“Why not?” I mutter to myself, before immediately attacking keys with Rachmaninov’s Prelude in C-sharp minor.

It’s an angry piece – especially around and after the middle – which is why I chose it. The piano is a very good emotional vent. Being able to disperse my rage with the piano was probably the only thing stopping me from flying off the handle back when I was under Trixie’s hoof.

A few of the investigators have stopped what they’re doing to watch me, which isn’t surprising. It’s nice that for once I’m just playing for them, and that’s it. No money, no slavery, and no Trixie.

I continue to play, dispersing as much of my frustration and resurfaced anger into the music as I can. Maybe then I can finally drag myself out of this rut, and stop being such a dead weight. It’s not like my mindset has been doing anypony any favors.

I suppose I can worry about that later. For now, I’m content to just play.

The Scene of the Crime

I lean back and give a little sigh of satisfaction as the song draws to a close.

With most of my anger vented, I feel surprisingly better. A lot better.

Not waiting for the final notes to fade, I release the pedal and close the lid over the keys once more. It feels good to be able to play a piano once more.

Looking up from the instrument, I see that I have managed to draw in a small crowd of investigators with my music, including the others from up in the box.

I ease myself off of the seat, and slowly make my way over to them as the audience starts to disperse and return to their duties.

“That felt good.” I note to the five of them. “Really good. I feel much better.”

“That was a beautiful piece.” Twilight comments, which draws nods of agreement from the others.

“Rachmaninov’s Prelude.” I pause to see if any of the ponies recognise the name, which none of them do. “So are you done already, or did you just come down to watch?”

“Miss Sparkle and Master Spike’s part is done.” Lockhooves explains, still as professional as ever. “Now it’s up to us to correlate your statement with the evidence and begin building the argument for the court case.”

“So that’s it.” I nod. “Good.”

The group falls into silence for a moment, each of us waiting awkwardly for someone else to say something.

Eventually Lockhooves breaks the silence with a curt “I should get back to work”, before trotting away to her desk.

“I should go get some breakfast before my shift.” Thunder grins apologetically. “I wasn’t expecting to come here. Didn’t have time to eat, and all.”

“Uh huh. Thanks for listening.” I reply rather awkwardly as Thunder turns and trots away, leaving Maneworthy, Twilight and I to stand here.

I bit my lip thoughtfully. “So… while we’re here…” I trail off, leaving the rest of the question up in the air.

“The wagon?” Twilight glances at the backstage area, which contains the passageway to the courtyard. “Are you sure about that?”

“Well I feel… a lot better.” I smile warmly, tapping my cane on the ground. “In fact, I’m starting to feel pretty good about today.”

“You sure?” Maneworthy peers at my eyes. “Are you tired? Hot? Dizzy?”

“No Doc, I’m fine.” I wave him away. “I’m just… happier now. I’ve got that whole thing off my chest… and the piano…”

“And one of the side effects of your medication is possible mood swings…” Maneworthy mutters as he continues my train of thought.

I ignore the remark. “Anyway, yeah. I suppose this is as good a time as any to go get it out of the way. Then we can go check out my rooms, and you…” I nod pointedly at Twilight. “…can go and enjoy your day off.”

“Yes, yes. The day off.” Twilight replies irritably, before shifting back to mild concern and asking me yet again; “But are you sure?”

“Yes, Twilight. I’m sure.” I give the mare a reassuring smile. “You two need to calm down a little. I’m not some little foal that’s going to hurt themselves if you look away for a few seconds.”

“Right.” Both ponies immediately blurt, followed by a “sorry” from Twilight.

“Don’t apologize.” I wave my hand again. “There’s a lot to get used to with all this. Can we just go?”

“Of course.” Maneworthy seems anxious to get moving. He's clearly not as fond of discussions regarding our situation as Twilight, which is to be expected. He’s a doctor, after all. Not a researcher... scientist... well, not whatever Twilight's actual title is now.

We stay where we are for a further three seconds, before I turn and start walking towards the rear curtains of the stage. I’m probably going to ruin my mood with this.

I wish that someone had told me earlier that my medicine could cause mood swings. I would have felt a lot better about my breakdowns if someone had told me that my emotions were suffering from my painkillers.

I wonder what other side effects the half-dozen pills I’ve been taking have. I can’t imagine anything particularly nasty, but it would be nice to be kept in the loop as to what’s happening in my body.

The backstage area has also been swamped by evidence cases. They’re everywhere, and there are even more desks set up back here. How much money has gone into this investigation?

“This all looks very expensive.” I comment to Twilight and Maneworthy as we pass through. “Look at all of those cases.”

“The princesses want to make sure that all the evidence has been gathered. This is a very important case, after all.”

“How important?” Now this is intriguing. Random ponies may stop me in the street, but I still don’t know exactly how public this all is.

“Very important.” Maneworthy clears his throat. “You should have seen the first day after the Gala. Some ponies organized a mob and came up to the castle demanding that Trixie be exiled.”

“Exiled…” I mutter the word. Take hornless, defenceless Trixie, and shove her out in Griffon or Changling territory... She’d be dead within the week – which means that she might be able to avoid that penalty. Would the princesses be willing to exile her when doing so would ensure her death?

I myself just want whatever would make her suffer most – life imprisonment and continuous Chinese Water Torture, to name one example.

“Yes.” Twilight continues Maneworthy’s story. “The only ponies fighting for her are her family. They’re rich industrialists from Manehattan.”

“I remember… she mentioned her father in her journal.” I think back to the most damning piece of evidence: A written log by Trixie, which retells the story of my captivity.

“She did.” The lavender mare confirms my thoughts. “Trixie and her parents had a falling-out a few years ago, but that hasn’t stopped them throwing their weight around to try and get her out.”

“Some Manehattan industrialists trying to intimidate the royal investigators.” Maneworthy scoffs. “What a bunch of foals.”

I nod. No amount of money can save Trixe from the grave that she’s dug for herself. Attacking a princess and two Elements of Harmony was the equivalent to building the coffin.

“Let them waste their time, and their money.” I say offhandedly. “It won’t make a difference."

"It won't." Twilight agrees.

We’re walking down the passage to scene where it all came to an end. I remember this hallway – although when I last came through it it was night time, and much darker.

There are two royal guards standing by the door to the courtyard, who both salute as the three of us pass. I suppose they need to make sure that nopony comes through here and tampers with evidence.

I nod at both stallions as we pass. “Good morning.”

“Morning sir.” They both reply, which makes me pause. I’m not going to correct them – it’s their job, after all – but I don’t like being called ‘sir’ by people I don't even know. It just isn't merited.

Pushing that little peeve from my mind, I grasp the doorknob and twist it, before pushing the door open and walking out into the well lit courtyard.

***

The schoolfoals are chasing each-other through the wreckage. I frequently hear the word ‘Cooties’ shouted from at least one of them. It’s typical foals-play. A truly wonderful sight. Seeing them playing is helping negate the dark emotions lurking in the recesses of my my mind once more.

I gaze at the dark red stains. It paints a vivid retelling of the scene in my mind.

“This one…” I point at the second biggest stain. “…That’s from when she first stabbed me. These…” I gesture at the trail of smaller drops. “…Are from when I was walking over to her… and this…”

I trail off. It doesn’t need saying. It’s the spot where I collapsed, and almost died.

I bite my lip. I feel slightly conflicted about this. It was my victory, but it doesn't make me happy.

“You’re very brave.” Twilight says softly. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want me to slide back into depression.

I scoff at her words. I’m not a brave person – I mean, I did give up, after all. “Thanks Twilight, but it wasn’t bravery. It was a survival instinct. Humans will do almost anything to make sure we continue to live.”

I look over at Maneworthy, who is busily chatting with the parents chaperoning the fieldtrip. The moment he saw the foals he forgot all about me and switched into expecting-father mode. Another heart-warming sight which is stopping this from being a painful experience.

Turning back to Twilight, I continue my thought. “That said, I think I have more positive emotions attached here than negative. This is where I won.”

“It is.” Twilight nods.

“I came away from it with this…” I gesture at my stomach, which is still recuperating from being gored on Trixie’s horn. “…And I’m not in the best of states, but I stopped her. Thanks, by the way.”

“What for?” It’s pretty clear what I’m thanking her for, but Twilight decides to confirm it anyway.

“For coming to check on me. I know you didn’t expect… well, me… but thanks anyway.” I lay a hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “I don’t need to add what would have happened if you hadn’t come.”

“You’re welcome.” Twilight smiles sheepishly. I’m developing an annoying habit of spitting out the cheesiest mini-speeches, which makes for extremely awkward conversations.

With that out of the way, we both stroll away from the blood stains that mark my victory, heading over to the main part of the wreckage.

The wagon is so thoroughly trashed that it doesn’t even look like a wagon any more. It is literally just a series of wood clusters held together by nothing but their nails. There’s nothing familiar about what’s here, and I doubt I’d be able to recognise anything even if the investigators returned the third of the fragments they’d removed.

“An explosive end to the Gala, right?” I joke grimly, drawing a smile from Twilight, but no laughter.

“You know… I really thought that coming back here would invoke stronger memories… more emotions, and the like.” I glance at Twilight as we walk. “But all I can think about is the end to it all.”

The mare nods. She seems notably melancholy, especially when compared to my reasonably neutral state of mind. I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong.

“Twilight?” I stop to look at the unicorn in question. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm? Yes, of course.” Twilight nods. “I’m just thinking… about Trixie.”

“Can’t you just enjoy the success?” I raise an eyebrow. “Can’t you just take some time to relax?”

Twilight hums in acknowledgement as we continue our walk. “Well, we are at her wagon. What else can I think about?”

“How about the future. There’s a lot to be done.” I reach out and gently graze my fingers against one of the larger wood chunks. “Which is why you need to take a day-off every now and then. I’ll make it my business to make sure you don’t get too engrossed in your business.”

Twilight lets out a little sigh. “You don’t need to do that.”

“Au-contraire.” I draw my hand back from the wreckage and briefly checking for splinters. “I think I do, and I will. I’m not going to let you run yourself ragged for my sake.”

The lavender mare rolls her eyes. “I am not ‘running myself ragged’.”

I roll my eyes in turn, but am cut-off before I can deliver what would have undoubtedly been a weak rebuttal.

“Excuse me.” A young voice asks, before a pair of teeth tug at my trouser leg.

I look down to see one of the schoolfoals – a tan young unicorn-colt – releasing my pants’ leg from his mouth.

“Hello there.” I turn to face the colt.

“Hi!” The foal says in a manner that is both shy and jubilant. “Are you the Piano Man?”

“Indeed I am.” I smile softly and ease myself into a squat, bringing myself down closer to the young colt. “And who are you?”

“I’m Bucky!” The jubilant unicorn replies. “And I think you’re really good at the piano!”

“Well Bucky…” I pass my cane from my right hand to the left, before holding out my right hand and wiggling my fingers. “I’m not that good, and what skill I have is thanks to these - and lots of practice.”

The colt admires my hand for a few seconds with the enthusiasm and curiosity only a child could generate, before looking up at me. “Some day, I wanna be really good at the piano, like you!”

I give a little chuckle – not at the colt himself, but at just how cliché his words are. It’s possibly the most overused trope you could ever find, even if it does have grounding in how young children idolize public figures.

“And I’m sure that if you practice hard, and try your best, then you can be even better than me.” I grin as I lie through my teeth. I sincerely doubt that anypony would be able to reach a human-level of skill. Like Trixie once said; They just don’t have the multitasking abiliy.

“You think so?” Bucky bounces once on the spot.

“I do.” I pat the colt on the head before spitting out a movie-level Cliché. “You can do anything if you put your mind to it.”

“Oh boy!” My fan squeals in a boyish tenor. “Thanks!”

“No problem.” I slowly rise up from my squat, making sure I keep my smile in place as I glance over the colt’s shoulder. “Now, I think your friends are waiting for you.”

Bucky turns and follows my gaze to the other schoolfoals, who are all clustered a distance away, watching us.

“Oh yeah!” His voice seems no less jubilant.

“I wouldn’t keep them waiting, if I were you.” I say gently. “they’ll want to hear what I told you.”

“Yeah! Thanks!” Bucky took a few steps away, before suddenly turning. “Oh, and Mr. Piano Man?”

“Yes?” I raise an eyebrow, unsure of what’s coming next.

The young unicorn points at my walking cane. “Is that so you don’t fall over?”

I pause, looking from my cane, to the little colt.

“So I don’t…” I mumble under my breath, before realizing that the colt doesn’t understand that a creature can be bipedal.

I break out into a fit of laughter. The innocence of youth is such a wonderful thing.

Bucky stares at me in confusion as I laugh, discard my cane, and then stand up straight.

“No.” I chuckle as I take a few steps, doing my best not to wince at the pain. “It’s just helping me until I get better.”

“Get better?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I wave a hand. “Now, you’d better go see your friends. I think they’re getting impatient!”

“Right!” Bucky turned again and trotted away to his friends. “Hey guys! Guys!”

I smile as I watch the colt prance away, even though I’ve just told him a rather large lie that he may well waste years believing in.

I turn back to a slightly bewildered looking Twilight, wobbling slightly on my feet. “Well, that was fun!” I grin.

“I didn’t know you liked foals.” Twilight’s horn lights up, returning my discarded cane to me.

“If we stand here making a list of all the things you don’t know about me, we could be here a while.” I point out good-naturedly. “But we can deal to that later.”

I grasp the cane in my hands, reassured by the extra stability it provides. “Thanks. Anyway; Why wouldn’t I like foals?” I glance back at the burbling group of miniature-ponies. “They’ve got that ignorant innocence about them that you can never find in an adult. It’s heart warming.”

Twilight looks at me with a mixture of curiosity and mild surprise. “I don’t know… I just never really thought about it.”

“Why would you?” I shrug. “Why would you need to. Whether or not I’m good with foals is irrelevant to everything else we’ve been doing.”

Twilight nods, before we both turn and watch the group of colts and fillies.

After a short pause, I speak again.

“We should probably find little Bucky’s parents, and tell them why ponies can’t play piano.”

***

Yes, I need to climb stairs to reach my room - not too many, though. I think reaching my new suite takes the same amount of stairs as it does to reach the rooms of Shining Armour and Cadance. This still doesn’t stop them from taking the breath out of me when I climb them.

I lean against the wall of the staircase, wheezing as I regain my composure. Twilight and Maneworthy are waiting patiently, not saying anything. We all know why climbing spiral-stairs affects me this way, so there’s no need for apologies or condolences.

Maneworthy helped me locate Bucky’s parents, whom I talked to briefly while their son played with his friends. I mostly just explained how unicorns couldn’t perform the complex multitasking playing the piano required, and that they should break it to him gently. I also told them that they could make me the bad-guy, as I’d hate for the colt to resent his parents over a lie I told.

They were very cooperative. I think the father was a little star-struck, but overall the two were quite easy to talk to, which allowed me to walk away with a clear conscience over my deception.

We didn’t linger for much longer after that. I had no further reason to stay, and we still needed to see my room in the palace – which I’m now eager to move into. My hospital room is starting to feel pretty cramped, and I feel ready to get out of the clinic. Then I’ll be less of an inconvenience for everypony.

Finally, I push myself off the wall and take a deep breath.

“Okay.” I smile at both Twilight and Maneworthy in turn. “Better.”

“Right.” Maneworthy turns to the large oak door pressed against the wall, his horn lighting up as he opens it.

Both ponies step to the side, with Twilight motioning for me to enter first. “It’s your room.” She explains unnecessarily.

I nod, following the mare’s direction and stepping through the door.

“Oh wow.”

It’s clear immediately that I’m receiving a high end apartment. It doesn’t look as grandiose as the Armor-Cadenza’s suite, so much as it looks more open-plan and modern – which is odd, considering that this is a castle that could have been built over a thousand years ago.

The door opens into the rear section of the apartment. It’s one-story, and lit by candles, as there are no windows.

To the left I see a kitchen, which I have no use for. On the right is what looks like a library corner, complete with a desk, bookshelves, a couch and an armchair.

“Oh…” I take a moment to examine the two separate areas. I also spot two doors, which I’ll have to check out later.

“Wow…” Twilight voices my thoughts. “This looks really nice.”

“Seems wasteful.” I’m already feeling guilty, although it doesn’t seem like Twilight had thought about it anyway.

“I don’t think it matters.” Maneworthy cuts in. “Nopony else would be using this suite, so why not give it to you?”

“True.” Twilight takes a step towards the reading corner, squinting to try and make out some of the book covers. “I don’t see anything wrong.

“I suppose…” I trail off, still feeling uncertain about taking up such a large space.

“How about we keep looking before we decide whether or not it’s wasteful?” Maneworthy suggests. I’m inclined to agree. We’ve only seen the entry, after all.

Without acknowledging Maneworthy’s comment, I continue into the apartment.

Beyond the kitchen and the library corner the ceiling abruptly ends, opening onto an airy two-story lounge/atrium inhabited by two couches and three armchairs arranged in a wide oval around a coffee table.

The opposing side of the room is dominated by a single large window that covers the upper half of the wall and the sides of the lower half, while the lower halves’ centre is simply a pair of large glass sliding doors that lead out onto a balcony.

To our right side is a curved staircase that leads up to the second story, which is positioned above the entry area, while over to the left on a slightly raised podium is – of all things – a white grand piano.

I shake my head in disbelief. The apartment itself no longer seems overly extravagant – leaning a little towards Spartan, in fact – but the piano seems a bit over the top. I’m glad it’s here, though.

A better question, is what made the princesses decide to provide it. How did they know I’d still be comfortable playing the piano? Was it a wild guess, or some creepy level of world-wise-alicorn-intuition?

Twilight and Maneworthy don’t seem to have anything to add as I hobble over to the seats and sit down. There’ll be time to check out the upper story later, although I’m pretty sure that the only things up there will be a bedroom and a bathroom, or something like that.

“Well… I like it. Kinda weird that they thought to provide a piano, but still...” I comment simply, unsure of what else to say. The style is aesthetically pleasing, and from what I see, the apartment isn’t overstuffed with furniture, which would just make me feel like I’m taking up space better suited for somepony else.

“I think it’s well suited.” Maneworthy agrees. “Open space… ample furnishing.”

“Do you want to see the rest?” Twilight asks as she and the doctor take their seats, both choosing the armchairs.

“There’ll be time for that later.” I settle into the couch, looking around the lounge. “For now, I’d just like to rest.”

We sit in silence for a few seconds as I slowly relax. I’d be fine to stay right here. Actually, why can’t I?

“Hey.” I suddenly sit up. “I’m moving in here… tomorrow, right? Why not now?”

“Well, it’s not like you need to go back to the clinic.” Maneworthy replies almost instantly, giving me the feeling that my question was expected. “I don’t see why you can’t stay here.”

Twilight nods her agreement. “I don’t see why not.”

Leaning back once again, I sigh. “Well, good to have that out of the way.”

Twilight and Maneworthy are quiet as I briefly shut my eyes. I’ve been doing a lot of walking today, and it’s only eleven in the morning.

‘busy-busy-busy’ I think to myself, not even realizing that I’ve somehow managed to fall asleep again.

Talking Time

I sigh loudly as I sit up. I can do that, because I’m alone.

“Christ, I am just the rudest person ever.” I exclaim loudly, getting to my feet as quickly as I can.

I look around the suite. ‘Where’s the clock in this place? How long was I asleep?’

“Shit…” I snatch my cane up from where it had fallen during my sleep – namely; the floor.

I do a quick turn on the spot to search for the clock, which I find hanging from the frame of the door onto the balcony. The hands read ten to twelve.

“Hell.” I grumble, turning around again. “Did I seriously just fall asleep while Maneworthy and Twilight were here?”

A little voice in the back of my mind reminds me that I didn’t have a nightmare this time, but my rest only lasted a grand total of forty minutes, so I don’t think it really counts.

I put a hand to my head, at a loss of what to do. My first instinct is to apologize to someone for falling asleep, but of course, that isn’t on the table at the moment. In fact, it’s only now that I notice what is on the table.

The coffee table is now supporting a plate, which in turn carries a pair of what look like peanut-butter sandwiches, and a note.

I wearily stoop over and retrieve the slip of paper, letting out another choice curse at my own rudeness as I begin to read.

Keys:

Maneworthy has gone to see his wife (She is in the later stages of pregnancy) and most likely will not be available until tomorrow.

I will be taking the ‘day off’ that you seem so certain that I need, and won’t be back until dinner. (Don’t worry about food. I’ll stop by the kitchens on the way.)

You should take some time to rest and get settled into the suite. I’d advise against going for a walk unless you have somepony to make sure you don’t overexert yourself.

The sandwiches have been treated, so they’re safe to eat.

-Twilight.

I shrug, before letting the piece of paper flutter back down to the coffee table. There’s no such thing as a brief note when Twilight’s involved.

Of course I still remember Maneworthy’s wife, Light Wing. The note doesn’t explain why Maneworthy had to leave, so I assume that there’s nothing in particular wrong, and that he simply went to see her. It makes sense that he would, considering how much of his time I take up.

I lean down and pick up a sandwich from the plate. I don’t feel particularly hungry, but neither do I feel full. Now that I think about it, I’ve gotten quite a bit done, and it was all completed before midday.

After a few seconds of hesitation, I take a bite from the sandwich. It was less terrifying to eat back before Twilight mentioned that if my food wasn’t magically altered it would kill me. Now I constantly pause before biting to fearfully wonder what might happen if one of the chefs made a mistake, or I’ve been given some unaltered food by accident.

It seems that my life is in the hooves of others in more ways than one. Not only are the princesses providing for my accommodation and living, but the royal chefs are making sure that my food won’t rip my insides apart.

Including right now, I’ve only eaten twice since Twilight told me what work goes into my food, and I can already see exactly what she means. It’s true that the food does indeed taste blander than what I used to eat back on Earth. I only really noticed once it had been pointed out, but now I can’t not notice.

But really, who cares? I’m lucky to be alive at the moment. Griping about the magically altered food that isn’t costing me anything would be more than a little rude.

Sandwich in hand, I shuffle towards the right wall of the suite, which is partly obscured by the stairs up to the second level.

A set of shelves set into the wall has caught my eye. Most of them are occupied by large square sleeves – except for one, which carries a gramophone resembling the one at Pinkie’s party yesterday.

Curious, I rest my cane against the wall and pull out one of the many sleeves, which reveals itself to be the cover for a record.

I raise an eyebrow when I first see the title. ‘Buck: Violin and Cello in G Major.’

“Featuring Octavia and Symphony.” I chuckle as I read the remainder of the title before opening the cover and removing the record itself.

I gingerly position the record on the gramophone, set the device going, and bring the needle into position, and wait.

After a few seconds the gramophone lets out a little crackle, and beings to serenade me with some well-suited string music. The volume seems just perfect for the music to carry across the room without intruding upon thoughts or conversations.

I smile and step away from the wall, once more retrieving my cane and taking another bite from the sandwich.

As I turn and hobble back towards the centre of the room, I can’t help but repeat a thought I had quite a while ago. When I first played the piano for Trixie I wondered whether there was a pony version of Beethoven. It would seem that Bach has been translated into Buck, but he was a composer for more than just key-based instruments. If nopony here can play the piano, does that mean that Buck couldn’t play the organ? If that’s the case, then it’s fully possible that there is no Beethoven of this world.

I finish off the sandwich as I reach the couch, and promptly bend down to retrieve the other. This altered food is actually very intriguing, and I can’t help but wonder about one of the upsides to Equestria – namely; if unicorns are able to bleach the substance out of food, but still have them physically indistinguishable from standard food, then does that mean Equestria has no obesity issue? Comfort food wouldn’t be a health hazard on Earth if companies were able to manufacture them to be low mass.

I take a bite of the second sandwich, and am about to sit down and enjoy the music when a thudding sound reaches my ears.

I turn to the entry of the suite as whoever is at the door knocks a second time.

“Coming!” I call, before taking another hasty bite and ambling towards the door.

After pausing to swallow my mouthful of sandwich, I open the door, revealing a white unicorn mare with a brilliant purple mane and a glowing horn.

“Good…” I glance over my shoulder at the clock. “…Afternoon, Rarity.”

“Good afternoon, Keys.” Rarity stumbles slightly on my name. “I ran into Twilight out in Canterlot…”

“Uh-huh.” I step back and motion for her to come in.

“…And she mentioned that you’re moving into your new suite.” Rarity trots in through the door, revealing the reason her horn is glowing. “So I decided that I’d bring your clothes over from the clinic.”

“That’s very considerate of you.” I watch as Rarity levitates two large stacks of neatly folded clothing through the door. “Thanks.”

“Think nothing of it.” Rarity waves her hoof, trotting past me into the suite and proceeding to gush over my accommodation. “Oh my, how modern!”

“That’s what I thought.” I comment absently, following her into the apartment. “Seems odd for a palace as old as this.”

“Not really.” Rarity stops out near the centre of the room to take a look around. “Celestia remodels different areas every few years or so. I think she likes the variety.”

“Makes sense.” I shrug. “Oh, I think the bedroom is upstairs.”

Rarity nods, turning towards the stairs and continuing to walk, before pausing to listen to the music. “Hmm… is that… Buck?”

“Yeah.” I glance at the gramophone, wondering how much longer it has to run. “Violin and Cello in… G Minor, I think.”

“Tasteful.” Rarity comments before starting to walk up the stairs. “So how did you convince Twilight to take a day off? Celestia knows we’ve all tried, so how did you manage it?”

“I promised that I’d answer some of her questions about humans if she did.” I look down wistfully at my sandwich, now wishing that Rarity had come by a little later so that I could finish eating it first.

“Clever.” The white mare compliments as we reach the top of the stairs, revealing the rest of the apartment to me.

Two thirds of the upper floor is taken up by a dinning room, complete with an elongated table, while the remaining third is sectioned off by a wall and door. There are two more doors against the back-wall, through which I see a bathroom and what looks like an office, which leaves the sectioned-off area as the bedroom.

“Thanks. Uhh… I think it’s through here.” I take the lead, walking over to the door and opening it. “Oh, yeah. It is.”

I push the door wide open and motion for Rarity to go through, which she does.

Following her through, I myself am able to take a look at my bedroom for the first time. The rear wall is taken up by a double-bed and its two night-stands, complete with lamps and clocks. It’s nicely complimented by a pair of in-wall shelves above the bed.

Opposite the back wall is the glass rail looking out over the left-most third of the lounge, providing a nice view of the piano on its pedestal. This effect is furthered by a well placed armchair and reading lamp, which allows whoever sits in it to lookout over the entirety of the lounge.

The dividing wall has no notable features aside from one chest of drawers pushed up against it on the balcony-end, while the opposing wall to the entry has two wardrobes set into it. It also boasts a full-length mirror with which Rarity takes a second to admire herself, before opening one of the wardrobes and busily sorting the clothes into it.

I watch curiously as she works. Unicorns have bad multi-tasking capabilities. Rarity came in here carrying my clothes as two whole stacks, which meant that she was really only performing two tasks at once. Now she’s deposited one of the stacks on the bed, and is removing articles from the other. Now she’s manipulating three objects, by keeping the stack in place, and removing two separate articles at any one time.

I wonder how many objects Rarity can manipulate at any one time. How many tools has My Little Pony shown her using? I’m sure it’s no more than four.

If I could find a Pony with the ability to manipulate five or more objects at once – by which I mean, controlling them separately and having them do tasks and actions independent of each other – then maybe I would be able to teach them some simple piano pieces. The entire prospect daunts me. There are so many variables and factors to be considered.

I find my eyes drifting to my own reflection in the mirror. I’m starting to get used to the reasonably gaunt figure I’ve acquired, but I still feel that little scrap of confusion every time I see myself in a reflective surface. Right now I’m more entertained by the humorous portrait I paint with my moderately formal attire and walking cane’s clash with my slim build and the half-eaten peanut butter sandwich.

“So.” Rarity continues to chat as she works. “You’ve promised to answer some of Twilight’s questions. I have to wonder, do you actually plan to?”

“Definitely, definitely.” I nod, even though she isn’t looking at me. “I don’t make empty promises.”

“Indeed you shouldn’t.” Rarity quips cheerfully, retrieving the second stack of clothes as she finishes the first.. “If you did, then you’d need to file a restraining order against dear Pinkie Pie.”

I pause to mull over her advice, before giving a little shudder.

“Stick a cupcake in my eye…” I whisper quietly, suddenly fearful of what it would actually be like to associate with Pinkie Pie while there’s a broken promise that has yet to be resolved present.

“What’s that dear?” Rarity asks, pausing mid-sorting.

“Nothing.” I respond evenly. There’s no reason I would know what a Pinkie Promise is, so it’s best to just avoid the subject. “I’m just wondering what questions Twilight’s going to ask.”

“If I’d have to hazard a guess… I’d say ‘a lot’. I hope you aren’t planning anything else tonight.”

“I suppose I’ll need to reschedule my angst hour… oh, and my appointment with the pope.” I reply sarcastically, even though my words simply confuse the white mare.

“Sorry darling.” Rarity tuts awkwardly. “I don’t get the reference.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” I reply disinterestedly. “Human humour.”

“Ah.” Rarity closes the wardrobe door and turns back to me. “And that’s that. I suppose I should get out of your hair, and give you some time alone. I myself have orders to fill.”

“You’re working?” I blink in surprise. “But… you’re in Canterlot. I’d have thought that you’d be relaxing, and seeing the city.

“I’m doing both.” Rarity replies proudly. “And I could never just stop working! The world of fashion never goes on vacation, now does it?

I nod, turning around and leading her back out through the dinning room. “Thanks for coming by. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh hush.” Rarity chides. “It’s always nice to talk to a friend.”

I raise an eyebrow. I suppose that we are indeed friends, although the casual way she drops the word seems wrong. It doesn’t seem like something Rarity would just say in conversation. Similar, but not right. Did she put the word in to make a point?

“I agree.” I speak slowly, wondering what exactly the mare is playing at. Maybe she’s trying to gauge whether or not I consider the ponies my friends. “Talking with friends is always fun.”

Rarity nods pertly as we descend the stairs back to the lower level. “Oh, there’s no need to stand on occasion, dear. I’ll show myself out.”

“Are you sure?” I raise my eyebrow once more, noting that music has stopped while we were in the bedroom. Rarity’s telling someone not to follow social rules? Now that’s just scary.

“Quite sure.” She assures me. “It was nice seeing you.”

“Likewise.” I hold out my hand, which the white mare meets and shakes with her hoof. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“You too. Don’t let Twilight get too carried away.”

“I won’t.” I come to a stop by the coffee table as Rarity continues to walk, waiting patiently for the mare to leave

As she walks away, I hear her voice. It’s extremely faint. No more than a mutter, which she must think I cannot hear.

“Stick a cupcake in my eye…” Rarity whispers under her breath, causing me to do a double take.

She heard. Worse than that, she knows I lied to her.

I want to slap myself. I need to learn when to shut my damn mouth.

“Auf wiedersehen.” Rarity calls as she reaches the door.

“Au revoire.” I respond shakily, which draws a surprised look from Rarity as she shuts the door.

I sigh, and turn around.

It’s just impossible for me not to fuck up, isn’t it? I can’t just have a normal conversation without letting something slip.

Taking a subdued bite of my neglected sandwich, I walk out onto the balcony and sit down on the shaped-glass deck-couch, which forms the mid-point of a semi-circle made up out of the couch itself and two shaped-glass deck-chairs.

I put one arm over the backrest of the couch, and look out at Canterlot.

One small blunder around Rarity. Not really that big a deal. Pretty soon it won’t matter anyway.

Twilight will be back in a few hours. It seems like a long time, but it gives me all the time in the world to prepare my answers to the questions that I can’t tell the truth on.

I have no intention to lie. What I intend to do it to tell half truths. Rather than say My Little Pony is a show, I’ll claim that we have stories of the ponies and their exploits. At least wording it like that won’t drop a tactical nuke on their entire civilization.

I take another bite of my sandwich, taking half of what remains, and then breathe deeply through my nose.

After a few seconds, I tear my eyes away from Canterlot, and get to work carefully thinking over what I’m going to say.

***

knock-knock-knock.

“It’s open!” I call loudly, leaving the piece unfinished as I rise from the piano.

I feel on-edge, and nervous. It’s imperative that I don’t screw this up.

The door swings open as I approach, and Twilight enters, accompanied by two plates of food held aloft by her magical aura.

“Hey.” I nod, leaning my cane against the counter of the kitchen and taking both plates.

“Thanks.” Twilight smiles briefly, shutting the door behind her as I look over the food. They’re both plain salad, except that one has been augmented with multiple slices of sausage meat.

“Just a second.” I deposit both dishes on the counter, before hobbling into the kitchen and retrieving another plate.

“What are you doing?” Twilight walks around to the front of the counter as I begin removing the slices of sausage from my salad and relocating them to the third plate.

“We’re going to be having a conversation…” I speak quickly, for no reason other than how It reminds me of those bad crime shows on TV where everyone talks too fast while they’re arranging the evidence into their latest epiphany. “…So the least I can do is not eat meat while we talk. I’ll save it for later.”

Twilight looks at me quizzically. “Uh… thanks.”

I wave a hand, picking up the third plate and shifting it to the refrigerator. “It’s seriously not something worth thanking me for. I don’t feel like having meat anyway.”

“Right…” Twilight seems slightly unnerved by my abruptness, but what little nervousness she has is being suppressed by her huge amounts of excitement and anticipation. Her face looks very calm, but her movements say otherwise.

I smile slightly. My abruptness is a result of my own nerves – my own worries that I’ll somehow do something wrong. I’m not entirely sure why I’m nervous. I have my answers sorted out, so the only other step is watching what I say.

“Come on.” I pick up both plates, once more. “No time like the present.”

“Uh, okay.” The lavender mare follows me as I make my way through the apartment and out onto the balcony.

I look around for a second, trying to decide which seat to take, before eventually shrugging, sitting down on the left side of the deck-couch, and passing Twilight her plate.

Unsurprisingly, Twilight takes the seat next to me, and we sit in silence, neither one of us touching our food.

I look down at my plate for a second. “Okay. I take it that you have a lot of questions, so… start small.”

“Right.” Twilight shifts uncomfortably, and I’m actually surprised when she doesn’t pull out anything to write down my answers. “Small…”

She trails off, and I let out a little sigh.

“Don’t you know where to start?” I ask gently. I would have thought that she’d come better prepared than this.

“Uhh… not really.” Twilight grins sheepishly while I frown thoughtfully.

“Huh. Well, I suppose the best place to start is… the name.”

“The name?” Twilight raises an eyebrow, slightly confused by the vagueness of my statement.

“The name of where I come from.” I pick up a piece of lettuce from my plate, and take a bite. “We call it ‘Earth’.”

“Earth…” Twilight mutters thoughtfully, as if the name has any real meaning. “Like ‘earth-pony’?

“Yeah. Earth is another word for dirt, and it’s also what we named our planet. Some people call it Terra, but not many.”

The lavender mare pauses for a long minute as she thinks over what I’ve just said, and then moves on to her first question.

“What’s the average life expectancy for a human?”

“Uh…” I bite my lip. This is the sort of question I’d expect from Twilight, because it’s something she’d think is worth knowing. “I think it’s about… seventy years. What about ponies?”

“It depends on the different species. Earth ponies have shorter life expectancies than unicorns due to how much more strenuous their professions tend to be, etcetera…”

“So…” I gesture for Twilight to continue her train of thought.

“…So the overall average for ponies in general is about sixty five, although that’s hardly accurate for any of the three species, and I won’t even mention Alicorns.”

I smile slightly. “And I thought I was meant to be the one giving the big answers. What’s next?”

“What similarities are there between Earth and Equestrian culture?” Twilight asks quickly. She’s starting to get into the swing of things, and I can practically see her excitement bubbling up to the surface.

I raise an eyebrow. So much for starting small.

“Similarities?” I smile slightly. “I think it’s better to point out differences. Equestria and Earth are… extremely similar. I mean, what do you call the language spoken by ponies?”

“Equestrian.” Twilight blinks in confusion, at which I nod.

“Indeed, and I speak English. So why can we understand each other?” I ask, looking Twilight in the eyes. This is getting into dangerous show-related territory.

“Uhh…” The mare puts a hoof to her chin. “Hmm…”

“It’s because our worlds are linked, for some reason.” I continue, now spouting a load of uninformed bullshit. “That’s how Trixie was able to summon me, and that’s why they share so many similarities between them.” I reply plainly. “I don’t know how they’re linked, but they clearly are.”

“That seems… unlikely…” Twilight muses, her brow creased as she mulls over the subject.

“Incredibly unlikely.” I agree. “And yet, it’s evident. Look at Manehattan. We have a city on Earth called Manhattan. On both planets, their name contains a pun pertaining to the local species. ‘Man’ for humans, and ‘Mane’ for ponies.”

“What’s a ‘man’?” Twilight asks quizzically, changing the subject without even realizing it.

“’Man’ is the human equivalent for ‘Stallion’. ‘Colt and Filly’ becomes ‘Boy and Girl’, while ‘Stallion and Mare’ becomes ‘Man and Woman’. You have a couple of those words here in Equestria, but on Earth they're used exclusively.”

“Wow…” Twilight hums, even though the information isn’t awe-worthy. “So you’re a… man?”

“I’m nineteen. Once you reach eighteen, you count as a man.” I turn my gaze to look out over Canterlot, which is lit a beautiful red and yellow from the setting sun. “So Twilight, has anypony ever been into space?”

“Into space?” Twilight repeats my words in surprise. “Of course not. Princess Luna was banished to the moon, but nopony’s ever been into space…”

I wait patiently as Twilight pieces together what I’m getting at, which she quickly does.

I can’t help but smile when I hear her gasp in surprise.

***

Our conversation so-far has surprised me. Twilight’s managed to stay away from the touchier subjects, and has mostly stuck to the more trivial parts of human society. I can see the questions there, though. I’m pretty sure she’s dying to ask them.

So far, we’ve talked about human excursions into space, the aggressive nature of my species in general, the way the human population is spread across Earth, and some of the technologies we have. Twilight was very interested in the ideas behind aircraft.

I myself have broached subjects like Pinkie’s defiance of the laws of physics, and how earth-ponies can operate doorknobs with their hooves. Twilight drew a blank on the first question, but was far more helpful on the second.

Apparently, it’s just part of the natural magic all ponies possess. It’s best defined as ‘extremely short distance telekinesis’. It helps in handing over bits, and grasping objects, which would explain how musicians like Octavia are able to grasp their instruments. I notice that it’s still useless for playing something like the piano.

You wouldn’t have thought that so few topics would have managed to eat away so much time, and yet we’ve managed to chat away the last two and a half hours.

I have to say; I’m really enjoying myself. This stuff is amazingly interesting. I still have to ask about wingboners, but that should probably wait until another time.

And now we’re discussing a more interesting topic that’s relative to both worlds: Clothing. It’s an interesting topic, actually.

“It’s pretty straight-forward.” I shrug. “Humans are mammals, so we’re covered in hair. The problem is that this hair is very thin. It doesn’t shield the cold like your coats.” I gesture at Twilight, who nods.

“So clothes are needed to keep warm?”

“Pretty much.” I nod in return. “We’ve been wearing them for so long, that our society has developed a taboo on nudity that’s completely unrelated to body temperature. Now showing things like… well, genitals, is a punishable offense.”

“That’s a crime in Equestria too.” Twilight adds.

“It is, but ponies don’t show-off their bodies just by walking. Everything is hidden on the underside. If a human were to walk around nude, everything would be on display.” I can’t help but smirk slightly at the topic.
I didn’t really expect to discuss the concept of nudity, although I probably should have realized that talking about my instance on wearing clothes would lead to it. That doesn’t make it any less awkward to discuss.

“Wait,” Twilight suddenly adjusts her position on the seat. “does that mean I’m offending you? I’m so sorry!”
“Oh, no. Not at all.” I shake my head, not wanting to make the mare uncomfortable. “Standards are different between species. I don’t see anything offensive in Equestrian nudity. That’s just part of being a pony.

“Okay…” Twilight frowns, looking slightly confused. “So the entire reason human nudity is wrong, is just because you’ve worn clothes so long that it’s considered offensive to not wear clothes?”

“Offensive or sexual.” I correct her bluntly. “Think of it this way: Why are some words considered offensive? They’re just sounds, and a sound in itself cannot be called offensive. It’s just noise. The reason a word is offensive is because of the negative implications and meanings attached to it by the speaker and the listener.”

Twilight nods thoughtfully. “I’ve had that very same thought.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” I comment needlessly, before allowing the mare to continue her train of thought.

“So there’s nothing wrong in nudity itself, but on Earth the social implications behind it are what make it wrong?”

“Ten points.” I raise a finger, and Twilight smiles. “When you get down to it, human society is pretty stupid, and it’s full of double standards. Stripped to the basics, our entire society is fuelled by a desire to impress potential partners. So-many of the things we do are sex oriented in some way or other, like our humour and entertainment.”

“Right.” Twilight frowns. “Seems unpleasant.”

“It easily can be, but it can also be very entertaining. I suppose it’s more saddening than anything.” I shrug. “But it’s impossible to change an entire society because you disagree with one of its aspects. I think I’ve found a much better way to dispel my worries.”

“What’s that?” Twilight looks down at her plate briefly. We’ve spent the last few hours picking at our salads, but neither of us has really eaten.

“Well for one, I don’t need to deal with constant shit-storm that is human social interaction any more.” I gesture out at Canterlot. “I mean, it’s completely off the table. It’s actually very liberating. Equestria has looser gender-roles. The entire pony social order is much more ideal than any society on Earth.”

“Right.” Twilight seems pleased by my comment, but lets me continue without saying anything..

“And the second thing is this very conversation.” I smile as Twilight nods, asking a needless; “How so?”

“You’re an impartial viewer, unaffected by the heavy biases that every human carries. You have an outside opinion on the entire system of human civilization. When you get down to it, every last pony here is more qualified to make observations of human society than many of the sociologists on Earth.”

“I wouldn’t say that…” Twilight disagrees. “Many ponies here would be biased towards our own system.”

“True, but that would only be relevant when comparing the two.” I shrug. “Things like this are so twitchy."

“Yeah.” Twilight nods in agreement, and we both fall silent.

I give a little sigh, and look down at both of our plates. “I don’t think it was the best idea to bring food for this.”

“Yeah…” Twilight agrees, picking up both plates with her aura and standing up. “It’s getting late. I should probably get going.”

“Wait a second.” I hold up my hand, and Twilight pauses.

“Yes?”

I let out another little sigh. “I know there’s a question you’re dying to ask…” I close my eyes briefly, before opening them again and looking Twilight in the eye pointedly. “…So go ahead. Ask it.”

“Wait, really? Are you sure?” Twilight raises both eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah.” I nod. “I haven’t been fair, Twilight. Ask it.”

The lavender mare still hesitates, opening and closing her mouth twice before finally speaking.

“You know what?” She gives me a little smile, turning back towards the opening into the suite. “I think it can wait until next time.”

“Oka- wait, it can?” I sit up, shocked by Twilight’s sudden change of heart. “Really?”

“Yeah. Like I said; it’s getting late.” Twilight shrugs as I push myself to my feet – which is much harder and more painful without my cane. “Next time seems like a better idea.”

I stare at Twilight in shock as we walk back inside. Is she seriously doing this? It seems so… unusual. There has to be some sort of ulterior motive. Is she holding out for something else? Wait. That would be even more out-of-character. I mean, it’s not like there’s a rule that Twilight can’t show some self-restraint.

It’s just confusing. The only reason I can think of is that Twilight’s still worried that I’m not in a fit state to be answering stressful questions. Actually, that’s probably the entire reason why she declined.

I watch, still mildly baffled, as Twilight carries the plates over to the kitchen. “Uh, just leave those. I’ll do them in the morning.”

The mare pauses, turning back to look at me. “You sure?”

“Why not?” I shrug. “It’s not like I do that much around here.”

Twilight has essentially done me a huge favour. I was fully prepared to answer her questions, and yet she still gave me a reprieve. I’ll have to find a way to return the gesture.

Actually, I know just what to do.

I clear my throat as Twilight rests the two plates on the counter. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Yes?” She turns her head to look at me yet again.

I cough lightly. “Would you mind, uh, bringing the other girls over tomorrow?”

“Okay then.” Twilight replies cheerily, not even bothering to ask why. I think our entire conversation has put her in an extremely good mood.

I watch curiously as Twilight exits the kitchen, and approaches the exit.

“This has been really fun, Keys.” Twilight says simply. “But I need to get back to my rooms and write all this down before I forget any of it.”

“Just bring some paper next time.” I force a chuckle.

“Will do. Goodnight.” Twilight opens the door with her magic.

“Goodnight. Oh, and Twilight?”

The mare stops, turning her head slightly.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry for falling asleep.” I grin sheepishly.

Twilight gives a little laugh, and shakes her head.

“Seriously? It’s fine, Keys.”

With nothing to add, I simply give a small wave as I watch the door close behind her.

Still mildly confused, I turn away from the door and hobble back to the balcony exit, sliding each half closed.

What’s going on here? Why did Twilight have that change of heart? Sure, it could be because she thinks I’m not ready to answer the big questions, but what if it’s something else? I feel like there’s something else happening that I haven’t been told about.

It’s unnerving. I desperately want to know why she changed her mind – and at the same time, I feel like it can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I’d like to just go to bed, and get back into a normal sleep pattern.

For what seems like the tenth time tonight, I sigh.

And then I turn, and hobble off to bed.

Trust (Revised)

Read the Author's Note again people. PLEASE. It'll explain a few things.
I really hope this new version's to your liking.

Some nut-job once said that sleep is for the weak. That was a popular saying on the internet – it might still be, but I have no clue. As far as I can see, that statement's looking pretty accurate right now.

I couldn’t fall asleep for hours, and even then my rest was fitful. Not once did I get into a deep enough sleep to dream. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve royally screwed-over my sleep patterns, so I’ll need to get some sleeping pills from Maneworthy.

At least I didn’t have any nightmares.

It's four in the morning. Not exactly the most optimal time for a walk, but I could seriously give a shit. There's no possible way I’ll be able to get back to sleep before sunrise.

I must have walked across half the palace by now. How I’ll find my way back to my suite is a mystery, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

It would seem that the Royal Palace is able to provide a beautiful view, no matter where the viewing position is located. The entire building’s been so expertly designed that apparently every window offers a breath-taking vista of scenery porn, and even though the halls follow the same theme throughout them, unwavering in their uniformity, they still look good. It’s hard to say that they can all look the same and be beautiful, but I can’t see anything bad about them.

I lean against the rail. I like this idea of just having the wall removed from a segment of hallway. The openness is relaxing, and the breeze is cooling. I wonder what they do when it’s scheduled to rain.

My view of Canterlot from here is different than that from my suite. There are different buildings to see – including the Clinic - Some of them lit, while others are darkened.

It’s really taking some time for this to sink in, and trying to force that realization on me isn’t working either. I’m seriously in Equestria. The world of My Little Pony. Everything that’s happened should be impossible. I mean, this place is fictional for Christ’s sake. How am I being so casual about all this?

It must be because of how I got here. I don’t remember, but maybe I went through the shock of being in Equestria while I was under Trixie’s hoof, and was to busy being traumatized to notice.

I roll my shoulders in a pointless shrug, slumping further against the rail. The change in the distribution of my weight is nice, allowing me to give my feet a little break.

“La… da… de-de-da…” I hum, licking disinterestedly at my lips as I stare at the jumbled Canterlot skyline. There are so many darkened buildings that it’s almost impossible to discern what turrets and towers belong to which of the elegantly shaped lumps.

“I have got to start sleeping properly.” I mutter under my breath, pondering whether or not to keep walking.

It’s to my surprise that the choice is made for me, as the sound of voices reaches my ears, followed shortly by two sets of muffled hoofsteps.

“…Had to find the foal’s parents and explain why it wouldn’t work.”

“Hmm. Seems like poor judgement.”

I turn down towards the next corner further up the hall, from where the voices are wafting. My first instinct is to walk away and avoid listening-in on the conversation, but the topic seems uncannily familiar, and the voices are unmistakable.

I should walk away now, but I can’t bring myself to ignore a discussion about me – especially when it's between Twilight and Celestia.

“He was just trying to make the foal happy, your highness. Admittedly, he could have done it differently.” Twilight defends my actions uneasily.

The hoofsteps come to a halt, placing Twilight and Celestia within easy earshot of me. I suppose it’s best not to question the coincidence of them being out at the same time as me, in the same part of the palace, having this conversation - although I am curious as to why they've stopped in that particular spot... or why they've stopped at all, for that matter.

“Nopony is capable of impeccable judgement.” Celestia concedes knowledgeably. “Although Shining Armor speaks highly of him.”

“My brother? Why?”

The surprise in Twilight's voice is faintly amusing, and I can't help but smile slightly as I give a minute nod of my head. Nopony ever told Twilight about our visit to Cadance and her husband, so it should be interesting to hear her reaction.

“Did nopony tell you?” Celestia questions in surprise. “Our guest paid a visit to Princess Cadance. It would seem that he managed to lift her spirits.”

“Cadance? But she was so… desolate.”

“I don’t know how, but your brother says that her condition has improved. Maybe you should ask Keys about that.”

The two lapse into silence, leaving me to wonder at what they’re doing out at this hour. Either-way the chances of me happening to hear this are unbelievably low, and I can’t help but take the opportunity.

“Speaking of questions…” Celestia continues, apparently having given time for Twilight to think about her last statement. “Have you learned where our guest acquired his knowledge of Equestria?”

“Uh…” Twilight hesitates. “No, princess.”

Celestia sighs. “Well, I hate to say it, but I think you’ll need to be more aggressive with your questions. We can’t wait any longer to find out.”

“Actually…” Twilight’s voice is quiet, and I hear what sounds like the scuffing of her hoof against the floor. “He… uh, he offered to… tell… me.”

This is concerning. I can see why it would be important for Celestia to find out why I know what I know, but why is she making it out to be this urgent? What reasons could she have that necessitates holding this conversation, and talking the way she is?

And for that matter, how is she going to react to what Twilight has just said?

“Princess, I… I’m sorry. I just didn’t think Keys was ready to tell me... and… and he was being so nice. It just didn’t… seem right.”

“Twilight…” Celestia seems weary and frustrated. “Keys clearly has in-depth knowledge about our world. We desperately need to find out how he acquired it.

“But why, princess? The unicorn seems genuinely confused, and I can’t help but feel a little baffled myself. Why is it so important?

“It’s a matter of national security.” Celestia replies, an edge to her voice. “And despite appearances, Twilight, from what I've researched... it would seem that humans cannot be trusted.”

Celestia's statement is followed by a brief silence, in which I take an unsteady breath, suddenly feeling a little flushed.

What is she saying?

“Wait… Humans can’t be trusted?” Twilight sounds flabbergasted to the same degree of my outrage. “...Keys can’t be trusted? Why? What has he done?”

“It’s who they are.” Celestia responds, her voice seeming both harsh and soft at the same time. “Or at least, it's who they might be. From what I know, humans lie, cheat and steal in order to get what they want.”

“But Keys doesn’t want anything but for Trixie to be punished, and he doesn’t need to do anything to get that to happen. He hasn’t even-”

“Twilight.” Celestia’s voice becomes much softer as she cuts her off. “I don’t have anywhere near the personal experience with Keys that you do, but me and Luna… have gone through the deepest sections of the Canterlot archives, and we found one of the few books that properly describes humans and the way they act as a species.”

“But that book must be ancient!” Twilight protests. She’s showing a considerable amount of backbone, considering that she’s standing up to the pony who is both her teacher and ruler. “And Keys hasn’t done anything!”

“Twilight, a species does not change its nature. I've been watching ponies and griffons for over two thousand years. In all that time, nothing has changed about the species themselves. Ponies are still kind-hearted beings, and griffons are still aggressive and competitive.”

Celestia pauses for a second, gathering her thoughts. “Having observed two different species and their societies as the matured, the only thing I can say is that it is that humans are more than likely still similar to their description in the tome.

“He’s a concern. I’m sorry to tell you, but Keys is from what is very likely a violent and self-serving race, and he has some sort of knowledge of our world. Those two factors combined could be very dangerous. You had the chance to find out what it was, and you turned it down."

Celestia’s voice seems weary, carrying a slight point for the end to the first part of her speech. In a way, the argument she’s fighting is like one against observant religious followers. You can’t argue with denial.

“I could be wrong. I haven’t seen the human world, and I can’t definitively say that they haven’t changed since this book was written. Keys could even simply be the exception to the norm, but he has knowledge, and we don’t know how he got it. That's the most important part.”

Twilight hasn’t spoken since Celestia started speaking, and I’m mentally screaming for her to rebuke the princess’s slander.

I’m still leaning against the banister, my eyes glazed and my knuckles bone white as they grip the railing. I can feel rage bubbling in my stomach at the largely unjustified and unprovoked criticism Celestia is voicing.

Humans can’t be trusted? That I can understand – to an extremely limited extent – but I can’t be trusted? Where the hell does she get off saying that I'm untrustworthy, after everything that’s happened? The worst I’ve done is be a little tight-lipped! I was the one that got enslaved and beaten, that got my hair set on fire and was gored on a horn!

I was the one that tried to kill myself.

“In the interest of ensuring Equestria's continued safety, and making sure that there isn’t some sort of leak that could give somepony like Chrysalis vital information that could be used against us, I need you to find out what Keys knows.” Celestia speaks confidently, if sombrely. “Once that’s out of the way, he can recover in peace. It’s just important that we know what he knows. Until then, we can’t trust him.”

“I’m… I just thought….”

“It’s fine, Twilight.” Celestia’s voice shifts yet again, turning soft once more. “Everything’s fine. All you need to do is ask him. He’s willing to tell you, so get him to do so. Then we’ll know if Keys is actually dangerous or not. The fact that he's willing to talk is a good sign as it is."

“I… yes, your highness.” Twilight’s voice sounds defeated. In the long run, you might be unable to argue with those in denial, but you can never argue with your monarch.

How can she say this? What the hell have I done to merit such suspicion? How the fuck can she claim that there’s any chance I could be a threat to Equestria, after everything that’s happened?

“Keys just… I don’t think he would ever do something like that. I don’t think he’d… that he’d ever be a danger…”

“I believe in the quality of your judgment, Twilight.” Celestia assures her student. “But I can’t rule out the possibility that your even-hoofedness is being swayed by your friendship, and we still don’t know that much about Keys. Until we can learn more, he is not to be trusted. That is the fact of the matter. Never trust the unknown.”

“Yes… your highness…” Twilight trails off, while I grimly wait for her to continue.

It’s only when neither of them speak that it finally clicks.

Slowly, dreading what I’ll see, I focus my eyes once more, and turn to look at the corner from which the voices had been drifting.

I really shouldn’t have stayed here, out in the open. It was all but certain that they would eventually continue moving in my direction, so what the hell was I thinking?

It is to my horror – and yet a small amount of satisfaction – that I bring my eyes to a stop on a surprised looking white Alicorn, and a shocked looking purple unicorn.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, before I push off and away from the rail.

“I’m not sure why I didn’t anticipate this.” I say both sheepishly and heatedly, grasping my cane with one hand while the other reflexively clenches into a fist. “I should have hid. I shouldn’t have even been listening, but I suppose that’s just more evidence for the ‘humans are bastards’ pile.”

I look Celestia in the eye, no longer rationalizing as I slowly anger myself with my own words.

“It's a strange coincidence that I’d walk all the way out here at the exact same time as you two, but In case nobody’s noticed, there have been a fare few chance happenings as of late. If I may name one: I was randomly ripped out of my own universe just to satisfy some psychotic mare’s lust for money. It could have been anybody else, but instead it was me."

“Keys. I’m so sorry.” Twilight’s voice cracks slightly as she speaks, but I ignore her entirely.

“M-make no mistake, your highness. Quite a few humans are indeed horrible. What's important is that you know that there are far less truly good people, but the majority of my race are just n-normal people trying to live their lives, like me. I’m not some wonderful person, and I’m no godamn monster either."

My tone quickly begins to turn bitter as my anger suddenly flares. Why am I excusing my entire race for her? Why would she even believe what I'm saying anyway?

"So, your highness... I’m very sorry that you distrust me, but I feel I should say…” I take a shuddering breath, feeling the first pricks of tears in my eyes. “…That I didn’t bring myself here, so how could I have an ulterior motive? How could I have something planned when it wasn’t even my choice to come here?”

Celestia has no response, and I am unable to read her newly acquired poker-face, so I press on.

“Your highness..." My face contorts into a deep frown as the tears start to push their way out of the corners of my eyes. The more I think about Celestia's comment, the more upset I become at just how unfair her statement is. "...After everything that… that’s happened, I would have thought that there wouldn’t be a need to second guess me. That I would have earned a little but of trust, or that at least you wouldn’t think I was looking to get something out of all this."

My 'argument' is breaking apart at the seams. The rational side of my brain has finally kicked in, asserting itself once more over my thoughts, and it’s started by pointing out that it is perfectly normal for a monarch to distrust a new element introduced into their rein, and that I am indeed an extremely wild card for the princess.

“So maybe…” My voice suddenly rises in pitch, reaching the point that I’m practically shouting. “So maybe, the next time you go judging my entire species, you should think about what one of your own did! A pony did all this! A pony left me like this!”

I gesture at myself with the handle of my cane, extending my other arm dramatically. “As far as I know, there isn’t a single fucking account of a human doing something to a pony – although I have half a mind to make the first!”

I lower both arms and fall silent, unable to continue as my mind goes to war with itself. Did I just make a threat?

To be honest, it is completely true that quite a few humans are bad people who are only looking out for themselves, but there really are those truly good people that make it their goal to help others. I suppose that just makes me just a normal person. I’m not better than other normal people, and I’m definitely not some evil monster.

Despite my regained ability of rationalization, it’s impossible to just do a heel-face-turn. I’m still furious - with still more of my opinion to voice - and doing so would involve swallowing a lot of pride. There’s no way I’m doing that right now.

I look from Twilight to Celestia. The former looks upset, while the later is still keeping her face neutral – although I can still make out a small amount of indecision and surprise.

With a little sigh, I bow stiffly. “So maybe, your majesty… before you go judging my species you should take a look at your own, because I think it’s changed a hell of a lot more than you give it credit for."

With my final rebuttal delivered, I turn away, wiping away the few tears that managed to obscure my vision.

“Goodnight, your majesty. See you in the morning Twilight.”

“Keys!” Twilight calls after me as I hobble away, although her call goes unacknowledged. Yet again I feel myself needing time alone to gather my thoughts. It's to my relief that Celestia remains silent as I leave. "Keys, this isn't you!"

I pause at her cry, finally acknowledging something Twilight has said as I turn my head.

"You're right, Twilight. I'm not me right now, am I? Apparently I'm some sort of shady information-broker that's going to sell you all out to the Changelings at a moments notice."

Neither mare has a response to my wounded retaliation. Twilight is letting out a few distressed noises as she does mental back-flips over what's happening, while Celestia is still presenting that same stony silence. Maybe she has no idea what to say, or maybe she knows that saying anything will do more harm than good.

With one final look back at them both - an action in which I try to convey just how hurt I am - I continue to walk away.

I breathe a sigh of relief the moment I’m out of sight of the two. The only consolation I have from this is that Twilight was defending me. I don’t know how I’d feel if she’d been agreeing with the princess.

I continue walking, not even caring if I’m being followed. If anypony would try to follow me, it would be Twilight. Celestia is seriously just upholding her role as ruler. Being suspicious of me is just her doing a good job.

Eventually, I come to a stop, thinking over what I’ve just done. I snapped and swore at Celestia for doing her job – and doing it properly.

I could attribute this to my unstable emotional status – as Maneworthy said, my medication can cause mood-swings – but I don’t want to. While it could justify irrational responses, there's no way it would excuse one as drawn out as what I just delivered.

“You mustn’t hold it against her.” Luna’s slightly accented voice interrupts my regretful thoughts. “Celestia isn’t the most trusting of ponies. She’s been through many events that would make it hard for... almost anypony to trust easily.”

I put my hand to my forehead, shading my eyes and sighing wearily. “Haven't we all?" I pause. "...I don’t know what I was thinking."

“You weren’t.” Luna’s hooves - and presumably the rest of her - emerge from a shadowed alcove set into the wall. “But I can understand your anger. Celestia once held me in a similar position. Quite recently, in fact.”

“I know.” I remove my hand from my brow and proceed to hang my head. “At least she trusts you now.”

“We aren’t so different, my little human.” Luna speaks softly. “We’ve both been through extremely trying hardships. I don’t believe that distrust is based on the hardships themselves, but the context in which they take place. I betrayed my sister, and you were dragged from a world which we understand to be inherently violent and unstable. My sister is just trying to lead with Equestria's best interests in mind."

I nod. “Listen, Princess-"

“Please call me Luna. I’ve become a little adverse to such formality.’

I pause, wishing that the sisters would stop asking me to speak informally to them. I’m beyond arguing at this point.

“Listen, Luna… I’m… I’m sorry about all that. If you could tell your sister that… it’d mean a lot to me.”

“Why should you apologize for your anger?” Luna questions softly. “There’s no need to be sorry for what is outside your control. To say that it was unmerited would also be incorrect.”

I shake my head. “It’s just… if I don’t apologize, then I get the feeling this whole thing’s going to snowball out of control. It’s better to nip these things in the bud before they start. That way I can… preserve relations.”

Luna smiles softly. “You don’t know Celestia as I do, Keys. She will not hold a grudge against you for this. If anything, she herself will also be lamenting what has transpired.”

I continue to shake my head, feeling empty as my rage exits my body through every available opening. “I can’t help it, Luna. I need to apologize, no matter what you say.”

“If you believe it is necessary, do what you will.” Luna replies. “I will talk to Tia, and see if you’ve managed to change her opinion.”

“Changed her opinion?” I pinch my brow. “I’m less than a hundredth of her age! What could I possibly say that could change her opinion.”

“We are wise with our years, Keys. Not infallible. Not unreasonable.” Luna gives a little shrug. “Maybe your approach was not the best that could be used, but Tia’s decisions are never set in stone."

‘Funny. There seems to be a pretty big decision set in stone right out in the garden.’ I lament bitterly, looking up at Luna.

“Why are you comforting me?”

Luna smiles. “Celestia prioritizes Equestria’s wellbeing over all else. In scenarios like this, she can be unable to spare somepony’s feelings in the process of her duties, so I feel that consoling those she offends and helping them understand her point of view it the best I can do to help. What's important is that when you look at it impartially, Celestia was doing the right thing."

She looks me up and down. "I have duties that require attention, and you must rest. Goodnight, Keys.”

I nod as Luna turns away. She’s running clean-up for Celestia, making sure that I understand what’s going on, and that I don’t resent her for it. “Running clean-up, Luna? It seems below you.”

“Not at all.” Luna chuckles slightly, looking over her shoulder at me. “I do believe that Tia often has to do the same for me. Just understand that despite her harsh words, Celestia is just trying to make sure that everything is safe for both our people and you. Do not trouble yourself, Keys. My sister will not resent you for your outburst, nor will she punish you.”

“I hope not.” I reply weakly, watching as the Alicorn walks away.

After a few seconds, I myself turn to begin the long and confusing trip back to my rooms, tears once more pricking my eyes, only to be stopped yet again.

"Keys!" Twilight's concerned voice brings me to a stop as the mare in question canters up beside me. "Keys, are you okay? I'm so sorry!"

"It's..." I quickly dab at my eyes, attempting to remove any sign that I'm getting close to tears, before turning to the lavender unicorn. "It's fine. I'm sorry. I... I overreacted."

Twilight looks at me in confusion, before giving a weak, yet reassuring smile. "I... I don't... let's just get you back to your rooms."

I nod, unable to say more as we begin walking. I feel slightly curious as to whether or not she saw Luna, or if the ruler of the night avoided being seen by her. Unless Luna took measures to conceal herself, they must have passed each other.

I sigh lightly, wondering what exchange Twilight and Celestia might have had that would have delayed her this long. I wonder what Celestia's thinking right now. What if Luna's wrong, and I've offended her? It's unlikely, but possible.

I push the thoughts from my mind as we continue to walk. They can be dealt to later, when I'm alone once more. However, I will acknowledge this: To say that this was a night of regrets would be an extreme understatement.

Tonight has been truly unpleasant. I'd even go so far as to say that it's been horrible.

But maybe I got off easy. If Luna's assurances were correct... then there's not really been any damage done.

I can only hope.

Unwanted Memories

I yawn as we enter the apartment, unceremoniously dropping my cane right beside the door. It’ll do me some good to walk without support for a little while.

“Well that was a disaster.” I comment bitterly, limping towards the couch. “A real futz-up.”

“I suppose.” Twilight looks away awkwardly. “I don’t understand what Celestia’s saying. It seems so unreasonable.”

“It does.” I nod, raising one hand to my temple. “Most of it seems very… biased. I don’t see what her grounding is for quite a bit of it.”

Twilight turns to look at me, waiting for me to elaborate.

Taking her cue, I give a little sigh. “She’s… well, kinda close with the whole ‘bad humans’ thing. We aren’t the greatest species.” I look down at the floor. “I mean, some humans have done some things that would shock you to your core… but we just aren’t… I mean…”

I look to Twilight for help. Of course, she’s unable to add anything.

“It’s… it’s not like we’re all terrible people.” I sigh, looking at the floor and scuffing my foot against it, before suddenly looking up. “Ugh. I need some water. Do you want water?”

“Oh, sure.” Twilight turns towards the kitchenette, only for me to reach out and stop her.

“I wasn’t asking you to get it.” I hobble past her, significantly slowed by my lack of a cane. “Do you want a glass?”

“I – uh, yes please.” Twilight takes a step back “Are you sure you don’t want me to get it?”

“You’ve been doing too much for me.” I reply curtly. “And everyone else, apparently. Surely you can stop and let somebody get you a glass of water.”

The mare has no reply – which seems to be an increasingly regular thing for her – so I continue into the kitchenette and start looking through the cupboards.

“I wonder where the glasses – oh, here.”

“Did you find them?” I think Twilight’s looking for an excuse to help.

“Yes.” I wave her away wearily. “Come on, Twi. Give it a rest.”

“Sorry.”

I grit my teeth. Twilight seems to have forgotten my request for less sympathy. We’ll need to have another chat about that later.

“Hmm…” I rummage through the cupboard, producing two drinking glasses. “It’s never easy, is it?”

“I’m sorry?” Twilight looks up from the floor, shuffling awkwardly on the spot as I bring the glasses over to the counter.

I sigh, leaning on the bench and biting my lip. “This whole recovery thing. Everyone’s snapping at everyone else. Eventually things just degrade into one hell of a shit-storm.”

My expression turns deadpan as I think about the topic. “Back on earth, my friends’ grandfather had a stroke. He never really recovered from it, and the stress of looking after him nearly tore his family apart.” I shrug. “And now all this is happening. I think it’s safe to say that it just isn’t an easy thing to get through.”

“I… I guess.” Twilight seems caught off-guard by my statement. “I’ve never really witnessed it.”

“And I suppose the time Dash was recovering from her injured wing doesn’t help.” I comment offhandedly, prompting an extremely startled stare from Twilight.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” I nod, keeping my face serious as I turn to the fridge and retrieve a glass bottle of water from it. “Very strange.”

“Yeah. It is.” Twilight agrees uneasily. “Just how much do you know about us?”

“As far as I know, I know the story of every antic in Ponyville from the day you arrived until your brother and Cadance’s wedding.” I pour two glasses of water. “There’s the time the six of you were exposes to Poison Joke and blamed it on Zecora, and when Pinkie thought nopony wanted to be her friend anymore…”

Twilight listens attentively while I slide one glass over to her. This must all be very unnerving.

“When you all went to Cloudsdale for the Best Young Flier Competition, and when Discord broke free and turned Equestria upside-down. As far as I can tell, we know them all.” I shake my head. “It’s really… strange.”

“How do you know all this?” Twilight asks softly, not touching her water. I can't read her voice, but if I had to guess I'd would say that she's either alarmed or shocked.

I take a sip from my own glass. “We have stories.” I say plainly, stating my simplified explanation of My Little Pony. “And they recount the notable happenings regarding the Elements of Harmony. That’s about it.”

I watch Twilight carefully, making sure that my watered-down revelation isn’t freaking her out. She seems a little shaken, but not on terrified or shocked. How much wisdom is there in revealing this all while I’m still upset?

“So…”

“So what I know is of no threat to Equestria whatsoever.” I conclude in as mild a tone as I can. “Does that put you at ease?”

Twilight is quiet for a moment, before speaking hesitantly in that unsure voice that she’s been using an awful lot of late.

“I… Suppose…”

I shake my head slightly. “I know it’s unnerving. Believe me, until I got to Equestria, I thought the stories were just that – stories. Do you have any idea what it was like to wake up in cage and proceed to have your nose broken by a somepony you thought was a myth?”

“No. I can’t imagine it at all.” Twilight’s uneasy voice suddenly finds itself augmented by a little thoughtfulness.”

“Well, getting ripped out of your very home and being enslaved is possibly the best example of having your world turned upside-down I’ve ever seen.” I sigh, inspecting my glass of water. “But when your captor is a character you thought was fictional? It’s enough to rip your perception of reality to shreds. What’s real? What’s fake?”

“I see.” Twilight’s unease has been thoroughly quashed by her musings on the subject. I’d be surprised if it hadn’t, considering what interesting subject-matter this is.

“It’s hard not to second-guess everything.” I continue, starting to feel a little bitter. It’s like my entire world has been tainted with the cynical view that TV Tropes hands out for those who enjoy media. “I look at everything twice – which normally leads to me phasing out in the middle of a conversation, which I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“Yeah.” Twilight frowns slightly, before promptly changing the subject. “So how much do you know about Equestria? You said that humans have stories about the strange happenings in Ponyville, but how much do you know about actual ponies?”

“Uhh…” I frown myself. “I suppose… not that much, really. We know your personalities… and we know a few details about your past, but only if they happen to come up during your adventures.”

I take a sip from my glass. “For example; you. You’re from Canterlot. Celestia sent you to Ponyville, so now you and Spike live in the Golden Oaks Library. You spend a lot of your time practicing magic and reading books, while Spike enjoys sleeping. That’s about as much as I know about your personal life. The stories aren’t too… ‘invasive’, you know?”

“I get it.” Twilight nods. She's taking this all very calmly... maybe a little too calmly. “And… where do these stories come from?”

“We don’t know.” I lie through my teeth. “They just… exist. As mysterious to us as unicorn magic – which doesn’t fit in with the laws of physics or energy, by the way. I’d imagine it does here, but we can get into that later.”

“Later.” Twilight agrees, before promptly steering the conversation back to these ‘stories’. “So, do people read these stories?”

“Quite a few. They aren’t the most common thing, but there are at least two or three million people who enjoy reading them and their happy messages. It could be a lot more, and it could be a lot less; we don’t really have a way to get a proper head-count.” I’m basically rattling off general information about the fandom at this point. It’s so weird how much more not-really-really-insane this sounds when I say that they’re just originless stories, and not a fictitious animated work created by ordinary humans.

That’s something worth thinking about. If – or possibly when – I end up actually telling somepony the real truth about the show, they’ll be able to grasp the concept instantly. Equestria has projectors, after all – and as the show itself has shown, those projectors can show animated works like the informational presentation on Cloudsdale’s rain system. That could make the whole subject a lot more... horrible for them. They understand the concept, so it would be very easy to understand how it could mean that this entire world is a work of fiction... or not. I really have no idea what to think about that. If anything, I could be hitting the nail on the head with my bluffing about our worlds being connected.

I fall silent, letting Twilight think about what I’ve told her as I sip at my water. It doesn't take long for me to get an urge to add a little more.

“So do you see what I meant when I said that our worlds are linked?” I ask carefully. “Trixie summoned me from my own world without any triggering action on earth, and we have stories of you ponies. There’s clearly something going on here. Something strange and… really, really interesting.”

“It is really interesting.” Twilight agrees quietly. “The implications are… astounding. What else do our worlds have in common besides instruments and language? Do we share historical elements? Are there any deeper connections between them?”

“If there were any major links in our history, then ponies would probably be closer in their level of advancement to humans.” I shrug, before promptly downing the rest of my water. “There’s a lot to explore, and I’d love to help when this is all over.”

“All over?” Twilight brings her full attention to bear on me. “What do you mean? Don’t you want to be home when this is all over?”

I give a little chuckle at her words. “Oh believe me, I’d be quite happy to go home at the end of all this… stuff... but it wouldn’t last long. I'd be miserable.”

“Why not?” Twilight sips gingerly at her barely-touched water. “What would be so bad about going home?”

“Look around you, Twilight.” I gesture with one hand to the balcony of my suite. “Until a month ago, I thought this place was nothing but fiction and feel-good stories. How am I meant to go home to a world that still considers Equestria fiction, knowing that it actually exists? Nobody would believe me. They’d think I’m insane, and probably lock my up in an asylum.”

I purse my lips. “It’d be the worst kind of hell – or Tartarus. Whatever. Sure, I’d love to see my family again, and let them know that I’m alright, but I don’t think there’s any possible way I could go back and lead a normal life on earth. Ever.”

“I… but it's your home!” Twilight seems more than a little surprised by my decision, and I myself am surprised that I’ve blurted it out so readily.

"If everyone stayed where they were born, then places like Ponyville would never have existed. Everypony would just be clustered in giant cities around where your species first started." I shake my head. "But that's irrelevant. It doesn't matter what's happened in the past, Twilight. The plain truth is that I've got a brighter future in Equestria than anywhere else I can think of. Anyone trying to help me when I get home would really be trying to make me forget about a place that I know is real. It would be maddening."

Twilight pauses, pondering my question, before speaking. "I... understand."

“I should really ask Celestia if she’s willing to tolerate me continuing to live here, and I still really want to see my family again – by which I mean that I really-really want to – but… I think I’d be better-off staying here than anywhere else.” I shrug at Twilight. “Crazy, right?”

“That’s a big decision, Keys.” Twilight speaks softly. “Are you sure you're in the right frame of mind to be making it?”

“Of course not.” I reply sarcastically. “I'm completely oblivious to the facts and have no situational-awareness. I'm making my choice based on bias and ignorance, because that’s what smart people do.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just having a little fun.” I watch as Twilight levitates her glass to her lips and drains its contents.

We lapse into silence, and I have to note how well Twilight took... all of that. She took it a little too well, if you ask me – and she didn't ask nearly as many questions as I would have expected. Yet another tally count in the 'Something seems slightly off here' side of the table.

After two awkward minutes of sustained silence, I finally speak up once more. “Now… I’ve barely slept tonight, and I’m sure you need to go talk to Princess Celestia.”

Twilight nods slightly, while I poke my tongue out of the corner of my mouth in an exaggerated expression of thoughtfulness.

“So I suppose It’s best if I turn in. I’d still like you to bring the others by in the morning – if you’re up for it, of course.”

Twilight nods yet again. “I’m fine.”

'I beg to differ' I think as I nod in turn, taking a second to examine the shadows under her eyes. Twilight’s been awake for too long. She’ll need to sleep sometime soon.

“Well then, if you could please bring the girls over after breakfast… and I think it’d be best if the princesses were there as well, so that they can hear about the stories first-hand…”

“I’ll ask if they can come.” The lavender mare replies.

“Thanks. You're a great help, Twi.” I smile slightly, before giving a conveniently timed yawn. “And I suppose that’s it. I really need to hit the hay.”

Twilight nods as I pick up both glasses and carry them to the sink. “Goodnight Keys. See you in the morning.”

“See you in the morning.” I deposit the glasses in dishes-purgatory and turn to watch Twilight as she leaves. “You should probably try to get some rest yourself.”

She gives a little laugh, opening the door to the suite. “I’ll be fine. There’s too much happening to sleep.”

“I beg to differ.” I lean on the counter. “’night – oh, and Twilight?”

"Yes?"

I pause for a second. "I... I know I might seem a little brash, and ungrateful at times... but... well, Believe me when I say that I really am grateful for everything you're doing. I'm just worried that you'll run yourself into the ground."

“It's okay, Keys.” Twilight replies as I move to get a better view of her standing at the door. "And... thanks?"

"I think 'you're welcome' would be more apt, but each to their own." I wave a hand dismissively. "Thanks for understanding. Goodnight Twilight."

"Goodnight, Keys." Twilight nods once, before exiting the suite, closing the door behind her.

I stay where I am for a few seconds, before standing up as straight as I can without my cane, and shuffling off to bed.

It's a lot easier to be friends with a pony than a human. Ponies like Twilight are so set in their 'do no wrong' ways, it makes it so hard for issues to develop. Not like interacting with a human, where the slightest misstep can have long reaching consequences.

Of course, this all can wait a little while. I've got to fight my way through until morning – and it would be really nice to actually sleep, for once.

***

I look up from my book, its hazy lines of text decaying from my memory the moment they’re out of my sight.

A hand has grasped my own, its feminine fingers gripping mine softly, pulling me out of what was most likely a captivating story.

Looking to my right, I see the owner of the hand trying to steal my own. Brunette shoulder length hair, green eyes, a generous serving of dimples and a soft smile coupled with a relatively slim build seems to round out the impression of your standard ‘pretty girl’.

How she looks doesn't matter. I already know what she looks like, because it’s her.

I smile uneasily. Something about seeing her puts me on edge. The smile’s heart-warming, but something else is wrong here. I’m forgetting something. I’m sure of it.

Her mouth opens, slowly forming the words “Watcha reading?”, although no sound comes out. Why’s that? Did someone jinx her? I know I didn't.

My unease grows at her lack of a voice, but I decide to ignore it as I look down at my book. That’s a good question. What am I reading?

Unfortunately, the cover appears to just be a random sequence of lower and upper-case letters, with a few numbers thrown in for good measure. It isn't even plate speak. Just a load of gibberish.

Giving an exasperated sigh, I look back up at her and shrug. “I have no clue.”

It’s to my surprise that neither the sigh nor my statement make even a whisper, despite the fact that I can feel the air leaving my body as I talk. Apparently she canhear me, judging by the silent giggle I get in response.

This is weird. Really weird. Have I gone deaf? It seems unlikely, but what other explanation could there be?

She’s ‘speaking’ again, and this time I can’t discern what’s being said. Not that it matters though, as my own mouth starts moving of its own accord. It’s not that easy to tell what my body’s saying, but I think that we’re discussing the book. What’s going on here? Why can't I control my mouth?

After a few seconds of idle ‘chit-chat’, she gently reaches forward and plucks the book from my hand. Almost immediately, it fades away into nothing. Literally nothing.

For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me.

I receive yet another heart-warming smile, and she takes a step forward. I myself hesitate, looking around. I could have sworn we were just sitting on a bench, but now I find myself with both feet planted firmly on the stark white ground.

I want to question what’s happening. I want to stop and think this through. Something’s definitely amiss here, and it’s not the strange happenings. It’s something else, which I feel is desperately important that I remember.

My thoughts are cut off by a light tugging on my arm, and I look up to see her pulling playfully on my hand, giving me what can be nothing but a coy smile. She opens her mouth again, and I’m able to make out the words “Come on.”, followed by what is probably the word ‘slowpoke’.

After a little more hesitation, I give a little sigh and fall into step with her. What’s going on here? Why are we surrounded by nothing but white mist? It’s really creepy.

We continue to walk through the mist, although it looks like we’re not moving at all. Is it foggy, or something?

I look around at the hazy white, before turning my gaze back to my companion. As it happens, she’s in the process of talking.

As her mouth stops moving, mine starts. I don’t even bother trying to figure out what I’m saying this time, although maybe I should, judging by the way her smile disappears.

I watch, my unease continuing to grow as her expression turns shocked. What is my body doing? Why can’t I seem to control it?

And why is she looking so shocked?

I can only watch as my mouth stops speaking, and hers starts. She seems more than a little irritated, and she’s let go of my hand.

After a few short seconds, it’s my turn to speak again. I want to seize control of my mouth and say that I’m sorry for whatever I just said, but I’m unable to.

The look of shock on her face turns into outrage as I apparently elaborate on whatever offensive point I was making before. Way to go me; that's some real A-plus work.

She takes a step back, opening her mouth and letting out a short – and most likely loud – statement. I myself raise both hands and shout something of my own. She retaliates briefly, only to be cut off as I gesture energetically, apparently going off on a substantial tirade. My mind can do nothing but watch as my body shouts silently at the poor girl, who looks to be on the verge of tears.

Scratch that. She’s crying now, tears running down her cheeks and little hiccuping motions in her chest. I have no clue as to the context of this whole thing, but I feel like crap. As far as appearances go, it seems like I’m the bad guy in this situation.

She takes another step back while my body continues its rant, before turning and hurrying away. My body continues to shout, increasing the amount of air it’s expelling with each word as she gets further away, only stopping once she’s melted away into the mist.

After a brief pause, my body turns and begins to storm off in the opposite direction to the one she took. Why did I do this? Why would I ever do this?

I walk for what must be a full minute before something else materializes out of the mist. It's the last thing I would ever have expected to find out here in this... field, courtyard... place. Why is it here, of all places? And why is no-one else around?

It’s a coffin. A brown, polished affair with silver handles, and a wreath of flowers resting on the bottom end. What’s even more intriguing is that it has a lid in two parts. There’s the larger lower section, and the smaller upper lid designed to let mourners view the shoulders and head of their loved one.

The upper lid is open.

My body approaches tentatively, and I only barely recognize the fact that I seem to once again have control over it. That's not really important at the moment. I want to know who’s in this coffin, and what the hell it's doing out here in the mist.

And I want to know what I said to her. Is this related? Was it something about the coffin?

Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on – and I mean tell me, not mouth some confused jumble of words that I can’t hear.

Stepping closer to the coffin, I place one hand on itss lower lid and look in, now feeling deathly afraid of what I’ll see inside. Who knows how long it’s been out here? What if the occupant is decomposing?

What I see, however, is far more shocking than that, because it’s her.

Seriously. It’s her. She just left two minutes ago, and now she’s in this coffin – a coffin in the entirely wrong direction to the one she stormed off in.

What's even more horrifying is that she's dead.

I can't believe it, but it's true. Her face is a horrifying shade of white, and she's not breathing.

I take a horrified step back, staring in shock at her deathly face, and the ring of purple and black marring the skin of her neck. This is impossible. She didn’t do this. She couldn’t have. I couldn’t have driven her to this?

Wait, she did do this! That’s what was wrong! I couldn't have been talking to her just now, because she’s dead. She’s been dead for years!

I stare down at the corpse. None of this makes sense. What’s happening? Why am I…

Why am I reliving this? I know what she did. I know what I did to her.

I drove her to this. I remember that much. It’s my fault. I caused it, and we both suffered for it. Why can't I remember all this? is it because of how long it's been?

What the fuck is happening? Why is her body here? Why was I just talking to her? How is this possible?

My shocked expression neither grows nor lessens as I stare down at her lifeless body. It’s right there. Right in front of me.

Why do I have to relive this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Didn’t I endure enough pain the first time, knowing that I made it all happen?

A sob escapes my lips, and this time I can hear it.

“No… no… no-no-no-no…” I whisper, my voice cracking. “Why again? Why now?”

Tears start to emerge from my eyes, falling straight from the ducts to the velvet lining of the coffin below.

I’ve been through this all before. The book. The argument. The… the funeral.

“W-wasn’t that enough?” I choke out the words, my throat constricting further as the sobs rack my body. “D-didn’t I g-go through enough the f-first time?”

I'm scared, and sad, and angry. I'm experiencing almost every negative emotion I can imagine right now. None of this is right. Nothing about any of this is right.

I’m about to say more – a lot more – when a shout interrupts me, ripping through my skull with as much pain as a blunt knife.

"Keys!"

An Eventful Morning - Part 1

I can definitively say that waking up in a panic is not exactly a novel experience for me as of late, but it’s an entirely different matter to be awoken in a panic by Princess Luna and the vicious ear-rape that is her Canterlock. If the show hadn’t made it clear before, it is now painfully evident just how loud the Royal Voice is – that is to say, it’s loud. It’s ‘dear-god-someone-please-shove-a-kebab-stick-into-my-ear’ loud.

That said, at least it ripped me out of the dream. I can’t imagine a more effective way to snap someone out of a nightmare than aiming the world’s most powerful woofer-blaster – point-blank – at their ears, and proceeding to blow out their eardrums with it.

My eyes snap awake as Luna’s voice rips through my skull, filling me with a sense of terror the likes of which I haven’t felt since Trixie was holding me down and my hair was getting overcooked. The shout is so sudden, and so unexpected, that I briefly forget myself in a blind panic. Not exactly normal for me, but I guess that’s something that can be put down to the medication that they’ve been stuffing into my food.

Startled beyond any reasonable point, I reach out blindly as my eyes flash open, my hands – fortunately – do not come into contact with anything. That’s good, because the last thing I’d want to do is slap a princess.

Following through on my flailing arm-stretch, I flop into an upright position in my bed. Letting out what can only be described as a ragged scream. It’s all just too much. The nightmare, and the shouting have combined into a snowball of confusion and pain, and I simply have no idea what’s going on. Not knowing what’s going on is horrible enough, but everything else just makes the whole shit-factor of the situation multiply by ten.

What I see is Luna standing at the end of the bed, her jaw rising from the wide-open position necessitated by the Royal Canterlot Voice. At the same time, Twilight is in the process of arriving at the side of a bed, skidding to a stop as she drops speed from what would appear to have been a full blown gallop.

I feel like the world’s slowed down. Everything looks like it’s happening slightly slower than it should be, and my reflexes feel sluggish. Then again, I have just woken up.

I look from Twilight to Luna, my mind still consumed by panic. Why was I just hit with Luna’s Canterlock? I better not have been crying in my sleep. Twilight’s the only one who knows about that.

“Keys, ar-” Twilight manages to squeeze out a word and a half before I twist to the side, wrenching my legs free of the bed covers and launching myself out of bed. It’s mostly a reflexive action. Something strange has happened, and I don’t want to be in a vulnerable position in case the strange event in question is something dangerous.

She stops dead as I emerge from the sheets, falling silent for a couple of seconds as her gaze is fixated on the ugly scar on my abdomen. I myself twist my head sharply to the left to look at Luna. The expression on her face looks like one crossed between extreme concern and shock. Not good.

As I pull my gaze away from the princess, Twilight manages to tear her own attention away from the permanent evidence of my hardships emblazoned on my front like a fiery tattoo, opening her mouth to speak once more.

“Keys, what happened?” She asks, her voice slightly but noticeably drawn out. Everything still seems a little sluggish, although my panic’s receding rapidly as the world around me comes into focus. I’m in my bedroom in the royal palace, and there’s no coffin. She isn’t here.

I look her in the eyes for a brief second, my mouth chewing over a random collection of words as I notice that my eyes and the lower portion of my face feel extremely wet.

“I… not… nothing…” My eyes trace the details around her eyes, staring at the dark shadows underneath them. She still hasn’t slept? “Bathroom.”

With nothing further to add, I scramble past her towards the open bedroom door, moving quickly and frantically despite the pain it creates in my stomach. I stumble my way past Twilight, who let’s out a rather convicted protest as I begin my mad dash. I ignore her, of course.

I barrel out into the dinning area of the upper level, promptly colliding with the chair at the head of the table. Both the chair and I fall to the ground, generating a rather loud crashing noise as the object meets the hard planks of the floor. The ruckus draws several surprised noises, not just from the bedroom but also from the lounge downstairs.

I don't pause to ponder either, instead dragging myself back to my feet and propelling myself into the bathroom.

I steady myself against the bathroom counter, using my hands to stop me from plowing headfirst into the mirror. I give a strained grunt as I turn and push the door closed in a rough manner that falls just short of slamming it, before flicking the lock into place.

I stand still for a few seconds, before leaning heavily against the door and sliding down it, splaying both arms across the tile floor.

That entire train wreck of a freak-out took no more than thirty seconds.

Coming to a rest in a deep slouch against the door, I stare across the bathroom at the cupboards under the sink, before letting out a loud and unrestrained sob.

I don’t want to cry. They’ll be right outside, listening.

But I can’t help it.

There’s no sorrow to my tears. None of the self-pity or loathing that’s dominated my mindset of late manages to hide within the droplets running down my cheeks. Instead it’s replaced by the heart-racked cries of the guilty. The horrified gasps and shudders of someone that knows they’ve done something horrible, and cannot bring themselves to let it go.

There’s some hesitant muttering from outside – In which I can hear the voices of Luna, Twilight and Fluttershy – before the door is treated to an equally hesitant knock.

“Umm… K-Keys?” Fluttershy’s incredibly soft voice whispered through the door, barely audible over my sobs. “A-are you okay?”

I don’t have a response for her. The answer should be self evident, although the reasons shouldn’t be. Nopony in all of Equestria would know why I just threw such a thorough shit-fit.

“Are… are you g-going to come out?”

I place my left hand to my forehead, massaging my closed eye with the palm as my chest shakes violently. Curse these damn ponies and their insatiable need to help others.

After a few seconds I take a deep breath, and let out one tired word as I pull myself together, followed a shortly by two more.

“…Shower… ten minutes.”

“O-okay…” Fluttershy responds slowly as I grip the towel rail and pull myself upright. Why she’s fronting the effort to draw me out of the bathroom is a mystery to me, but I’m far more concerned by how pathetic I must have just sounded.

I mean, who the hell actually goes into the bathroom and cries?

I stare at myself in the mirror for a second, taking in my slender, gaunt figure and the vicious red scar on my abdomen. At least I don’t look as terrible as I did a couple of days ago, which makes me feel a little better.

Not much, though.

This is all so typical. More drama for poor old Keys. More trauma, and more sympathy. It’s getting so tiresome that I don’t even take the time to acknowledge the other times this has happened – and it’s not like the Equestrians can help me with this one. It’s got nothing to do with them. It’s just a horrible memory triggered by some small detail, and it's actually something I managed to get over and shove in a dark corner of my mind quite a while ago.

After cynically eyeing the skeleton in the mirror, I hobble to the shower in the corner of the bathroom and open the hot tap with a deft flick of the wrist.

I strip off my boxer shorts as the water heats up, briefly thinking about how terrible they are as underwear, which is in sharp contrast to how wonderful they are as sleepwear. I have no clue why I’m thinking about my boxers, but it’s a better alternative to the dream.

Wait, what the hell am I doing?

I almost slap myself as I step under the now-steaming water spraying out of the showerhead. Just what am I getting worked up over? I’ve had that dream before. Quite a few times, in fact – although not in the last six months – and like I said; I worked through it all a long time ago, so why did I just go through a grandiose freak-out?

If anything, it was possibly the timing. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and the sudden resurfacing of that memory… I guess it’s just terrible timing.

I shake my head slightly, which makes my long hair flop around with a wet noise that reminds me of a cartoon slap. “What am I? The damn woobie? That’s Fluttershy’s job.”

After a short pause, I hit my head softly against the wall of the shower, releasing a dull ‘thud’.

I’m going to have a lot of talking to do.

***

Twilight and Fluttershy slowly made their way down the stairs to the bottom floor of the suite, uncertainty and confusion etched on both of their faces.

“And what in tarnation was all tha’ about?” Applejack was the first to ask, voicing the question that all of the ponies present had been forming.

“I…” Twilight shook her head as she herself wondered what had just happened. “I’m not sure. Keys had a bad dream, and when he woke up, he kinda… freaked out.”

She traced her eyes over the assembled mares. Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack and Princess Celestia. Each one of their faces was afflicted with expressions conveying varying levels of worry. Keys having another episode was always a cause for concern.

“That’s one way of putting it.” Rainbow observed bluntly, restlessly floating a good meter above the couch, her wings flapping lazily. “Come on Twi, he was shouting in his sleep. That sounds more like a night terror t’ me.”

“And being woken up by the Royal Canterlot Voice?” Rarity shuddered. “I can’t imagine anypony reacting well to that.”

“Is he alright, Twilight?” Celestia spoke calmly, worry etched into her face. “What’s he doing?”

“Umm…” Fluttershy scuffed a hoof against the ground, despite the fact that the subject wasn’t actually awkward. “T-taking a shower, your highness.”

The room fell silent for a brief second as each pony listened carefully for the muffled sound of rushing water upstairs, before Twilight spoke again.

“Princess Luna’s waiting to talk with him.” She look around the room once more. “And… I’m not sure what to do.”

“Uhh… we could... throw him a party…?” Pinkie raised a hoof cautiously.

“No parties, dear.” Rarity replied softly. “Some things are fragile, and our wounded visitor would appear to be one of the most fragile objects one could find.”

“That’s Flutters’ job.” Rainbow replied lightly, giving a little forced laugh at the lame joke, which only served to elicit a face-hoof from Applejack. “I mean… I… uh… I’ll just…” She dropped back down onto the couch as the room lapsed into silence.

Celestia, for one, had spent most of the exchange quietly observing the mares’ banter. After a small amount of consideration, she contributed her own thoughts for the group to hear.

“I believe – or at least hope – that Keys will still be able to discuss with us whatever it was that he asked us here for. After that, I think it would be best if you all – Keys included, if he’s in any position for it – go out and spend some time in Canterlot. I dare say a few of you could use the rest.” She directed the final part at Twilight, who shied away from the attention slightly.

“Yes, your highness.” The collection of mares chorused. Rarity looked pleased by the prospect, as did Pinkie. The remaining four looked a little bit more uncertain, but kept their respective reservations to themselves.

Celestia nodded, the soft smile she normally bore returning to her face as she took a half-step back. Twilight could only wonder what was going through her head, but had no further time to ponder the possibilities as the muffled sounds of flowing water were cut off by a dull ‘thunk’ from within the walls.

“Was that ten minutes?” She glanced at Fluttershy, who shook her head ever so slightly.

After a brief second, Luna appeared at the top of the stairs, descending them quickly.

"I feel it would be best if I were not present when Keys emerges." She explained quickly as Celestia imparted a questioning look upon her. "Considering his species' body-shyness, among other things."

"That's... uh, a wise choice, Princess." Twilight bowed slightly to the Ruler of the Night as she descended the curving flight of stairs to join the others in the center of the lounge. In truth, it seemed a little odd that Luna would really care about that, considering that Keys' long-term mental health was of more importance than his short-term dignity. (Although in certain scenarios, the two may as well be one and the same.)

She normally spoke with both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia when she was in Canterlot, but speaking with them both at the same time always made her feel awkward. As ridiculous a worry as it was, Twilight was always concerned that she would provide one of the rulers with more attention than the other. The fact that she was Celestia's student didn't come into the equation, because she wanted make sure Luna didn't feel like she was being treated differently for her past.

Luna joined her sister, the two of them standing close to the door out onto the balcony. "We must give Keys his space, rather than become too intrusive. He has already shown that too much sympathy frustrates him, so I imagine that he would feel the same way concerning the attention of others."

Celestia and Twilight both dipped their heads slightly in agreement, while the other mares remained still. None of them were overly familiar with the topic, and simply refrained from commenting.

Any further discussion was cut off by the sound of the bathroom door opening, followed by a few footsteps – which in turn ended as Keys appeared at the rail of the upper floor, clothed in a fluffy white bathrobe.

"Good morning, your majesties." He spoke slightly louder to account for the increased distance, which only served to draw attention to the awkward undertone to his voice.

Keys bowed in an equally awkward fashion, using the rail for support. "And, uh... hey, everypony else." He bowed once more, despite the fact that a nod would have sufficed. "I'm... uh, sorry about all that. Let me just... get some real clothes on, and then I'll come down and explain that whole mess."

"'s cool, dude." Rainbow replied in her most casual tone yet, waving her hoof dismissively.

"Indeed. Do not trouble yourself, dear." Rarity chipped in.

"Take your time." Celestia added softly.

"Okay, thanks – and sorry again." Keys replied, managing to stop the exchange from turning into a drawn-out conversation where each individual pony added their own thoughts to the conversation.

After a brief pause, he stepped back from the railing and turned back to his room, a barely audible "So much understanding" floating behind them.

A more-than-perplexed Twilight looked up at the landing for a few seconds more, before turning her attention back to her friends.

"And... I think Keys just resolved the problem himself."

An Eventful Morning - Part 2

“Okay.” I pull the white gentleman’s blouse onto my shoulders, working my arms through my sleeves. “That was… an awkward way to start the day, but hey. It’s not like anypony’s gonna hold it against me.”

I glance at myself in the mirror as I start doing up the buttons before continuing my quiet mutter. “I really wish that somepony would blame me for something.” I’m definitely not a ‘do-no-wrong’ person, so it makes me uncomfortable when I’m treated as if I am. It would even seem that Celestia isn’t the slightest bit miffed by my angered words last night.

Is it so hard to simply point the proverbial finger at me – just once?

With a tiny sigh, I sit down on my unmade bed and start to pull on a pair of socks, followed closely by shoes. I don’t even know where the princesses got shoes for me. I don’t know whether Rarity is able to make shoes or not, and if she didn’t, then I don’t know who did.

They aren’t even ‘shoes’ as I know them. There are no laces, and they definitely aren’t perfectly designed for the human foot like ones on Earth. I find them more comparable to slippers. They’ve got thick soles and dark brown cases – which I hope to god are not made from leather – but they’ve been sized for my feet to slip in and out. It’s a fine example of the differences between Earth and Equestria, and of the multiple new innovations that my presence here has caused.

Standing up once more, I look myself up and down in the mirror. A nice white button-up shirt, along with dark pants and brown shoes adorn my beaten frame. I look like a businessman who’s just knocked-off for the day – if your standard businessman looked like they were in danger of becoming anorexic.

Actually, if you were to upgrade this to a full-blown suit, I’d look a lot like…

I give a little smile. Based on my admittedly limited knowledge of the Equestrian Calendar, I believe that Nightmare Night is coming up soon. Now I know exactly what I’m going as. My proportions aren’t brilliant for it, but they’re close enough, and it’s not like the ponies would be able to tell the difference.

I linger to stare at my clothes in the mirror for few seconds more, before turning and exiting the bedroom. Wearing upscale-casual always helps one's self-esteem.

I cross the dinning-area quickly, noting that the chair I had assaulted earlier has been returned to its position while I was in the shower. Life’s going to get very dull if everypony’s constantly cleaning up for me. Living without busy-work like chores would be fun at first, but then I’d start to feel more than a little worthless. Hell, I already feel like a dead weight now.

I pause at the top of the curved stairs down to the lower level. The ponies seem to be engrossed in a rather quiet conversation. Whether it’s something I’m not supposed to hear, or they’re just talking quietly so as not to disturb me remains to be seen. The only one who doesn’t look engrossed in the conversation is Pinkie, who’s bouncing up and down in her seat like someone with ADHD who hasn’t taken their Ritalin

Celestia’s the first to spot me as I begin my descent, followed quickly by Luna. “Are you feeling better, Keys?”

“Much.” I nod as I slowly make my way down the stairs. They’re still annoying to use, although not unmanageable. At least I can move around the suite without my cane. “Again, sorry about all that.”

Twilight opens her mouth to reply, but I hold up a finger. “Don’t you dare say that it’s fine, because it isn’t. That’s not something normal humans do, and you can’t say that it’s okay for me to… do… it.” I finish lamely, sorely tempted to point out that it also isn’t normal to be awoken by the equivalent to having a jet engine running full-throttle next to your ear.

I hobble my way over to the collection of ponies and furniture. “So let’s just cut to the chase. I take it you all want to know what triggered all this – by which I mean, ‘what triggered all this that wasn’t Princess Luna screaming at me’.” I almost instantly regret blurting that out, but Luna only ducks her head ever-so-slightly, a sheepish expression forming on her face. Of course, that does nothing but make me grind my teeth.

“Yes.” Twilight nods, acting as the spokesperson for the group, and I notice Rarity examining my clothes with a satisfied gleam in her eyes. Gaudy may work for pony clothing, but when it comes to humans, simplicity is better and elegant.

“Well…” I slowly lower myself until I’m sitting on the armrest of one of the couches. “It’s… I was having a dream. It was about somebody I knew back on Earth who… met an untimely death. A long story short, it put me through a bit of an 'experience', which spawned a really deep-hitting nightmare. The damn thing kept coming back for weeks, but eventually I moved on and things got back to normal… more or less.”

I suppose it's best not go into too much detail. My life may not have been one of those tragic pieces of overworked crap that Hollywood always seemed to love, but it isn't exactly PG either.

“Oh my…” Rarity and Fluttershy respond at the same time, their quiet words coming out very differently due to their varied speech-patterns.

“Woah, dude.” Rainbow’s eyebrows arch. “Is there… like… any part of your life that isn’t all… depressing?”

“Rainbow!” Twilight and Rarity both promptly snap at the mare, which is augmented by a disapproving raised eyebrow from both of the royal sisters.

The cyan mare shrinks slightly into her seat, significantly cowed by the response to her ill-thought-out query. “Sorry.”

I wave her apology away, frowning sadly as I continue my explanation. “I haven’t had that dream in a long time, so when it suddenly reappeared, I… well, I guess I had a hard time handling it. The human mind’s kinda complicated, so I can’t really say why I reacted so explosively.”

As usual, my general well-spokeness is making this all very easy to explain – if a little awkward. I always find it easy to lay out everything I have to say in one close-ended info-dump, but it makes for one-sided conversations to absolutely no end.

“So yer saying that… yer okay?” Applejack questions softly.

“Right as rain.” I reply after a short pause. “Aside from the fact that I’d like to know what triggered the dream, but like so many other little things, that can wait.”

With a little groan, I push myself back to my feet, finding my cane levitating over from where I left it last night, enveloped in Twilight’s magical aura.

“Thanks.” I turn and nod to the mare as the cane finds its way into my hand. “Now where was I… oh right.”

I feel slightly disconcerted by how ready the ponies are to let me give such a long-winded and staggered explanation with so few interruptions. It’s definitely not something you’d find on earth. Humans seem to be compelled to interrupt others at almost every possible moment – myself included.

I’m starting to feel bad for how everypony’s giving me such ‘cultural leniency’, while I’ve yet to even attempt at adapting my own actions to Equestria’s standards. I suppose I’ll need to get started on that as soon as possible, but for now I’m going to have to focus on my resolution to stop being such a depressing mood-killer – which doesn’t seem to be going that well, by the way.

“So here’s what we’re going to do.” I continue my train of thought, taking a few steps away from the group of seats. “For now, we’re going to forget about the dream – and I stress; for now.” I turn my gaze back to the group in order to gauge their reactions. “It’s something we can focus on later, because dwelling on it right now isn’t going to achieve anything.”

“Is that wise?” Luna questions softly. “Is it healthy?”

“I haven’t been doing many wise things lately.” I nearly chuckle, managing to catch myself as I realize that I’d essentially be laughing at the Princess. “Next to none, actually.” My eyes dart to Celestia apologetically, before moving back Luna. “And... healthy? Well, I’ve been burying it for nearly two years. What’s another few days?”

“That really doesn’t sound healthy.” Twilight interjects, her voice concerned.

“I think it’s fine!” Pinkie speaks up, swaying her head in a circle with her words. “If you want unhealthy, I could always whip up a batch of my super-duper-secret cupcakes!”

“Well…” I give a little shrug to mask my shudder as I furiously attempt to un-hear Pinkie’s statement. “H-humans can carry some real nasty burdens and still function well enough. As ridiculous as it may sound, I say that we focus on getting my body a little better before we turn to my mind.”

“It’s a good thing Maneworthy isn’t here.” The lavender mare adds quietly, to which I have no answer besides a small smile before continuing on.

“Anyway, I think it’s time that we get to the reason why Twilight asked you all to come here – thanks for coming, by the way.” I nod at the group in general.

I pause. Here’s the ‘bad’ part. The revelation is watered down and simplified, but it’s still significant. Telling them all that where I come from they are literally works of fiction that are drawn by animators and voiced by normal humans could possibly have severe repercussions – which range anywhere from me being committed to a mental institute to giving the Mane Six a collective existential crisis.

I feel confident that stripping it down to ‘we’ve got stories’ won't trip any freaky lie-detecting powers that Applejack may or may not have, but there’s no guarantee that it’ll be any easier a pill to swallow. Finding out that a species from an entire separate world, dimension or reality has stories concerning you personally can be a hard-hitting piece of news under any circumstances.

It’s like swimming in a murky pond; all that I can do is take a breath, dive in, and hope that I don't crack my head on something.

“Okay, so I know quite a few of you have questions for me… mostly about the fact that I seem to know more about Equestria than I should.” I catch Twilight’s eye as she gives me a little nod of encouragement. “Considering that this world belongs to you ponies, and not me, I feel that it’s only fair that I tell you what I know.”

I cast my eyes over the rest of the group. I’ve got the Princesses undivided attention, and Rarity appears to be the most diligent listener out of the Mane Six. After my ‘Pinkie-Promise’ slipup yesterday, I’m not surprised.

“I’m going to be blunt.” I clear my throat quietly, a sign of my still-present hesitancy. “On Earth, we humans have what are best described as... ‘stories’, of Equestria.”

I allow for a brief silence. In this scenario, it’d be for the best if I gave pauses for the others to voice their opinions before moving on. At the moment there are no questions, although it looks like I’ve managed to grab the attention of all the mares present. Still; Applejack isn’t making any accusing or wary faces, so there’s nothing to be concerned about so-far.

“In short, these stories detail some of the more notable exploits in Ponyville. As strange is it may be, they almost always concern you six.” Faces are growing surprised, and Pinkie’s excited jiggling has slowed to a stop. “They’re rather detailed in the way they portray Equestria, but-”

“Woah-woah-woah.” Rainbow sits up straight, holding up both hooves. “You’re saying that humans read stories about us?”

“They do.” I nod slowly, glancing at Applejack again. “Those of us who know about you really… well, we really like the stories. In a world as bleak and uninteresting as ours, the colourful and cheerful land of Equestria is like a sort of unreachable paradise.” I pause, before adding; “Well, not unreachable any more, I suppose.”

I nearly snort on the 'Bleak and uninteresting' part. Bronies seem to love the whole 'Earth bad, Equestria good' concept. While it's true that Earth may be a bleak place at times, our little planet is anything but uninteresting. I mean, there's normally one or two wars going on at any one time, and there's always some new scientific innovation to gawk at.

“So…” The Cyan mare leans forward slightly, an eager expression painted across her face. “Are you saying that we have fans?”

“Yes.” It’d take an idiot to not see what Rainbow’s building up to, but I can’t change what I’m saying without instilling at least a small amount of doubt in my entire story. For better or for worse – most likely worst – The pegasus is about to receive 20 CC’s of concentrated ego.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” The eager expression plastered across Rainbow’s face has morphed into an anticipative grin, and she’s leaning so far forward in her seat that I worry she might fall out of it. “But when I say ‘we’-”

“Yes, Rainbow.” I give her as weary a smile I can while trying to be inoffensive. “Each and every one of you has fans that favor you individually.”

The cyan mare is still for a moment, her expression unchanging. Then – to my surprise – rather than bursting into a victorious and energetic bout of whooping, she simply sits back, her face changing into a satisfied smile.

“Awesome.” She says simply, which is completely contrary to what I expected.

I stare at her for a few seconds. I suppose a shot of concentrated ego has different effects on the mare than some standard every-day good news. I feel compelled to say something, and am about to when Celestia speaks up. Her voice sounds anxious, and I can’t blame her for it.

“Go on, Keys.” She prods as gently as she can, unable to hid the tension in her words. I’m almost tempted to drag my explanation on for a little while – A little bit of comeuppance trolling, if you will. Unfortunately, Celestia seems to be in the process of putting last night’s altercation behind us, and I’m not fool enough to impede the progress that’s been made so far with some pointless immaturity.

Instead, I simply nod before continuing my explanation. “So, as disconcerting as it is, I actually know all of you – by which I mean; I knew each of you well before you knew me. A good year and a half, actually.”

I give a rather awkward shrug of my shoulders as the curious looks intensify. “For so long I thought that you were all fictional characters. Now I have to spend my time trying not to show off my… my creepy level of knowledge about you... because… well, you know. I don’t want to freak anypony out. Apparently I failed.” I nod at a flabbergasted looking Rarity,

It’s now that I stop my flow of words to take in the different reactions I’m getting. Twilight’s looking calm, as she’s heard all this before. Celestia and Luna are doing their best to remain stoic, Dash is still looking extremely pleased with herself, while Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack are staring at me with varying degrees of surprise and disbelief.

Pinkie, however, is giving me a look which is not only not disbelief, but one of amazement and… happiness?

My amazing ‘this is something worth investigating’ sensors are going off again, but before I can begin interrogating the pink mare over her odd facial expression my attention is captured by Rarity.

“I… I don’t think I understand.” She sounds strained. “You’re saying that before you even came here, you knew who we were?”

“Y-yes.” I grit my teeth slightly. I’m worried at how this all could play out. I really am. Assuming that all of the ponies will take this well would be foolhardy, but so-far Twilight and Rainbow seem fine. Pinkie’s troubling, and the others are… well, they're acting realistically, I suppose. It could go either way right now. “It’s… it’s as strange and unbelievable for me as it is for you.”

“I… I should say so!” Rarity replies vindictively. “This is… this… it really is unbelievable!”

“I can’t explain it.” I raise my hands helplessly. “From my point of view, I was at home, and the next thing I know I’m lying in a cage with a fictional character telling me that I’m her slave. How do you think I feel about it all?”

“This is crazy.” Applejack suddenly remarks. “Whadda ya mean that we’re not real?”

“You’re obviously real.” I shake my head slightly. “The issue is that nobody on earth knows that. For every human in existence but me, you are much-loved but fictional characters in these strange stories.”

“And just who makes these stories?” Applejack replies vehemently.

“Nobody knows.” I snap back, telling a blatant lie to the Element of Honesty. “The stories just exist, which is why you aren’t fictional. They’re retellings of what happens to you all being passed between worlds. the problem is that everyone on earth thinks that you’re fake.”

Despite the fact that what I’ve just said has absolutely no grounding in the real background of My Little Pony, it comes to mind very easily. I can owe that stroke of luck to my conversation with Twilight, where I spouted what was essentially the same babble.

Applejack doesn’t show any sign that she’s picked up on my lie – and why would she? ‘Applejack the Lie-Detector’ is fanon. If she could actually tell when anypony was lying, then ‘MMMystery on the Friendship Express’ would have been a very short episode.

Applejack still looks heated, although less so. Fluttershy is retaining her shocked expression, and Rarity’s putting on a very thoughtful face.

“That sounds… well, it sounds far more plausible than us being a bunch of fictional characters…” The white mare muses. “But I still find it hard to believe.”

“Well then, I have a question for you.” I turn my full attention to the fashionista. “Chimichurri, or Cherry changa?”

Every head in the room turns to look at Rarity, who has no reply for me other than her eyes widening to freakishly gigantic proportions.

We sit in silence as the mare continues to stare at me, clearly trying to think over what I’ve said. I already know a point she’s going to raise, and decide to answer it preemptively.

“You were subjected to Pinkie reciting that on the way back to Ponyville from… Dodge Junction, I think it was – and if you think that Pinkie told me, well…” I give a little frown. “I haven’t had any conversations with Pinkie where there wasn’t anypony else present. It goes without saying that none of these conversations came anywhere near to the topic of cherries.”

After a few more seconds of awkward silence, Celestia clears her throat in an equally awkward manner. “I think it would be best if we discussed this privately. I’d very much like to get a… more clear-cut picture.”

“O-of course, your majesty.” I give a slight bow, the tensions of only a few hours ago still looming in my mind. “Twilight, can you take it from here? Please?”

“Sure.” The lavender mare nods, standing up to give what will undoubtedly be a much better explanation than the mess I was delivering.

“You’ll probably do a better job than I was anyway.” I take a few steps back as the two princesses make their way around the group of couches. Their faces are disconcertingly serious.

I allow them to take the lead, which ends with the three of us forming a triangle in the library corner as Twilight launches into her ‘Twilized’ version of my altered explanation of My Little Pony.

“Okay, Keys.” Celestia is the first to speak. “You’re saying that Earth has stories about Equestria.”

“In a nutshell, yes, your highness.” I nod respectfully. “You said you were worried about Equestria’s enemies gleaming crucial information.”

“I did.”

“Well…” I lift my hands slightly, turning my palms upwards. “The stories are about the Elements of Harmony, so they’re mostly set in Ponyville. There’s no dangerous information in them, and I’m sure that it’s only Earth that has the stories. As far as I can tell, there’s absolutely no danger to Equestria or your administration.”

Celestia and Luna both glance at each other, with the latter being the first to voice her opinion.

"Could it really be that simple?" Luna asks softly. "It makes all of our worries seem... hilariously paranoid."

"From National Security's point of view, I'd say that being concerned was quite reasonable."

Celestia takes a breath to speak, before pausing to think-over her next words. What she proceeds to say is most likely not what her planned statement was.

"Keys, based on Twilight and Cadance's high opinions of you, and your apparent quality-of-character, I will take your word for the fact that Equestria's security is not at risk – but we will talk about this. Once the trial is over, I wish to fully understand the nature of these stories. For now, I am willing to let it be."

"That is most gracious of you, your highness." I bow once more, trying to be as humble as I can, while also noting the vast change in Celestia's stance since last night. Somepony said something to her, and I'd very much like to know who and what.

The three of us stand in an awkward silence for a few seconds, each of us taken by surprise by the swiftness with which the issue was resolved. I feel that there's no more to be said, but these two are royalty, and it's not my place to suggest that our conversation is at an end.

"I believe that is all that requires saying, then." Luna voices my opinion. "We had best return to the others."

"Agreed." Celestia nods in agreement, before looking at me. "After you, Keys."

"Thank you, your highness." I bow yet again, before slowly moving to exit the library corner.

"Keys." The Princess reprimands me gently. "I thought I asked you to call me Celestia."

I can't help but smile at her words. It looks like things are still just fine.

It's nice when issues like this are resolved. It really is.

An Eventful Morning - Part 3

Hey guys; please take a look at the Author's Note. I'd really appreciate it.

“Excuse me, Princess.” I stop, also bringing Celestia and Luna to a halt as they move to rejoin the others. “There’s actually something else I wanted to ask about.”

“Yes?” The white alicorn halts her departure, turning around to face me again.

“I was wondering; does Equestria have a… a banking system? One where a group of ponies manage the bits of their clients, and stuff like that?”

“We do.” Celestia nods. “There’s the Equestrian National, the Equestrian Royal, and the Canterlot Royal banks. You yourself have an account set up with the Equestrian Royal Bank.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Do the others…” I nod at the collection of ponies out in the lounge, who are all talking animatedly. “…have accounts as well?”

“They do…” Luna raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well…” I smile a little sheepishly. “I’ve got a reasonable amount of money to my name, right? I think it was about twenty-six thousand bits, or something.”

“Yes…” Celestia’s own eyebrow slides upwards. She doesn’t vocalize any predictions of what I’m about to say, but I’m fairly sure that she’s already guessed what I’m getting at.

“Uhh…” I continue once more, giving a little shrug. “…Well, I don’t need it. I’m not paying for myself at the moment, and I’ll be getting living funds for the future from the trial, so I think that I might as well give what I have now to somepony – or someponies that can put it to better use.”

I close my mouth, wondering what response I’m going to receive. I literally have no use for this money, so why not give it to the ponies that have helped me so much? And when I say the ponies that have helped me, I’m not just talking about while I’ve been in Equestria. If that were the case, then most of the money would be going to Twilight, Rarity, and some to Pinkie Pie. Luna too, but she’d have no use for it.

Instead, it’s more as payment for the sheer amount of joy I’ve experienced because of My Little Pony – my suffering under Trixie excluded. One and a half years of good feelings and happiness, and they’ve never received a cent for it. The least I can do is give them the money from my Gala performance. I might as well call it a charity performance for underpaid actors.

Celestia still hasn’t said anything. I think she’s letting me properly voice my request.

“So… what I’m asking for you to arrange…” I swallow a little nervously, before nodding my head at the Mane Six again. “Is to transfer Three and a half thousand bits into each of their accounts. Twenty-one thousand total.”

Luna and Celestia both glance at each other, before the Princess of the Night hesitantly asks; “…Why?”

“Well, I’ve really got no use for the bits, and the others out there have done so much for me – before and after I came here.” I raise my hands in a half-shrug. “I think it’s only fair that I show my appreciation with more than just simple thanks, and right now the best means I have are bits.”

“And why would you ask this of us? Why not offer it to them directly?" Luna questions.

“Because they’ll refuse.” I give a little shrug, accompanying my words with a smile. “If they don’t know about it until after it’s done, then they can’t refuse – as long as the transaction’s non-reversible.”

“Are you sure?” Celestia queries, still apprehensive. The only reason I can imagine for that is that I’ve caught her off-guard with my unexpected request. “This is unusually generous.”

“I disagree.” I shake my head to emphasize my point. “If you ask me, it’s fair compensation. Of course, I don’t expect anypony else to see it from my point of view.”

“And you’re sure.” Celestia says again, making sure that there can be no mistake of my wishes. “You’re sure that you want twenty-one thousand bits drawn from your account to be split equally into theirs.”

“Completely.” I nod confidently. It’s really only fair. As much as I would like to hang onto that money for some future event, I feel that the others would have more use for it. “And please, please don’t tell them.”

Celestia and Luna glance at each other again, both of them nodding the affirmative in a silent decision over whether or not to comply with my request.

“Very well then, Keys.” Luna smiles slightly, looking faintly amused by my decision. I’d imagine that a lot of the trivialities of mortals must be entertaining to them. “As surprising as it may be, we shall fulfill your wish.”

“Thank you, your highness.”

“I will not tell you again that I wish to be called Luna.” The Princess chastises in a less-than-gentle manner, and I have to stop myself from sighing. I suppose I’m past all the ridiculousness of trying to be proper and formal since last night, but it’ll take a little mental training to not fall back on the standard royal titles.

“Yes, Luna.” I grimace slightly at how improper that sounds.

“You shall get used to it.” Luna once again smiles slightly at my discomfort. “All things take time. Shall we rejoin the Elements?”

“Let’s.” Celestia replies simply, giving the cue for us to exit the corner.

I follow the two alicorns back to the center of the room, where the discussion seems to be in the process of winding down – or at least, it looks like everypony’s managed to come to term with what I’ve said. time will tell, though.

“…derstand that, Twi.” Applejack sounds more than a little frustrated. “But ah jus’ wanna know how these darn stories exist.”

I clear my throat, drawing the work-pony’s attention. “Sorry Applejack, but we don’t have an answer for that. They exist, but I have no clue how.”

I really should have guessed that she’d have the most difficulty with this. She is of a ‘southern persuasion’, after all – not enough to uphold all the stereotypes, but enough to encourage a watered-down image of the classic technophobic bumpkin.

Applejack produces what looks like a cross between a scowl and a disappointed frown. “Well that ain’t helpful.”

“Tell me about it.” I tap my cane on the floor twice for no other reason than adding an accent to my words. “So what’s been explained?”

“I talked about the details, and what you know…” Twilight frowns uncertainly. “Other than that, I didn’t really know what to say.”

“There isn’t much else to say.” I shrug. “So does anypony have any questions?”

There’s a lapse of silence, in which the Elements take a few moments to exchange glances, which were normally answered by shrugs or head-shakes. That surprises me, although I suppose that some questions take time to be thought of. There's no doubt that I'll have to answer some sooner or later, depending on when they are thought of.

I wait until the exchanges stop, before nodding. “Nothi-”

“I’ve got a question.” Rainbow interrupts, keeping her voice surprisingly level.

“Yeah?” I raise an eyebrow. Rainbow was the one pony I thought would have nothing more to ask. She probably just wants to know more about her fa-

“What’s your name, dude?”

I blink twice. For some reason that’s a real surprise, even though it's actually also in keeping with the Rainbow Dash that Bronies know and love. I probably should have considered this – Then again, there are a lot of things I should be considering that I'm not.

“Rainbow.” Twilight chastises quickly. “If Keys doesn’t-”

“Twilight.” I hold up my hand. “It’s fine. Now’s a good time anyway.”

“What?” The collected ponies chorus, surprise marring their faces.

I give a sheepish smile at the reaction. The entire reason I provided the name ‘Keys’ in the first place was because I was worried about saying anything stupid. Admittedly, I have no clue why I was worried that my name would be a bad thing to hand out. With every passing day my thinking becomes clearer, and I look back at my previous mistakes and wonder how I could possibly have made them.

“Yeah…” I give an awkward cough. “The entire reason I kept my name to myself was because I was worried about saying anything stupid. Not really sure what I was thinking.” I reach up and rub at the side of my neck equally as awkwardly. “But that doesn't really matter any more... so… you all want to know my name?”

“That’d be nice, dear.” Rarity prods gently, as if she's being careful not to spook me on the topic. All of the ponies look genuinely interested, although Twilight and the Princesses are – predictably – paying the most attention.

My sheepish grin doesn’t change as I gauge their reactions. “Well, long-story-short; Keys is a nickname from my friends on Earth. They gave it to me because I play the piano, and I share my first name with a well-known fictitious leader.”

I pause for a moment. It’s mostly for dramatic tension than anything else. I really am a hopeless dramatic.

“So… uh, well… my actual name is Jacob Lewis – Jake for short, but I’d prefer to just be called Keys. It’s what I’ve always been called, on Earth and Equestria.”

“Jacob…” Twilight makes a show of mulling the word over. “That’s an interesting name.”

“If by ‘interesting’ you mean ‘boring’, then yeah. I agree.” I scoff. “’Jake’ is such a bland, average name, which is why I prefer ‘Keys’.”

“’Jacob’, huh?” Applejack nods. “Respectable name. I’ve gotta cousin named Jacob.”

“Oh, and there are a lot of people on earth named Jacob. That as well.” I add, my memory prompted by Applejack’s comment. “But seriously, I’d much rather being called Keys.”

“But Jacob is a fun name!” Pinkie suddenly complains, pouting so heavily that the resulting image borders on grotesque. “It’s a two-syllable word! It fits into almost any song!”

“I’m sure Keys will work just as well, dear.” Rarity ‘comforts’ the party pony.

I give a little shrug. Rarity’s pretty much said it all – and I’d prefer to not get caught up in too many musicals in the near future. The ballad of lord waffle was enough for me.

“J-j-j-j-j-Jacob.” I mutter whimsically under my breath in the following silence, before speaking at a conversational volume again. “So now I’m just wondering, when is the trial set for?”

“In two days.” Celestia replies quickly. “The case begins on Friday morning.”

I nod. “And how long would a trial like this take?”

“The evidence against Trixie is overwhelming.” Luna responds simply. “All that is required is for us to hear all the evidence and the argument from both sides. After that we make our decision, and our verdict is carried out.”

I raise an eyebrow at Luna’s use of the word ‘we’. I had wondered if cases of this scale were presided over by the Princesses, or just judges. It looks like I have my answer, but I’ll need to ask Twilight later.

What’s more exciting is how close the trial is – and how quickly it will be over. This is an example of Equestria’s many differences from Earth. The proceedings will be over in hours rather than weeks, and the investigation didn’t even reach two weeks in length, which is insignificant compared to the month-long enquiries that an event of this scale would merit on Earth.

Frankly, I love it. Trixie will be receiving her punishment before the weekend is out – possibly before it starts, if the Equestrian Justice system is really fast. This couldn't be better.

“Good.” I smile widely at the news. “It’ll be amazing to see that monster getting what’s coming to her.”

It really will be. I’ve only been free for ten days, but this has still been a long time coming. Sure, it'd have been satisfying to kill the mare, but braining her with a pipe's also pretty satisfying – and now she gets to endure a proper punishment for her horrific misdeeds.

Pinkie breaks the silence before I can take a moment to gauge the attitude of the ponies around me. It seems that she's getting worse and worse at restraining her vast stores of energy.

“Hey! I thought we were going to have some fun in Canterlot! What’s everypony doing being all ‘not-doing-thatey’?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Going out to Canterlot?”

Celestia clears her throat, "I suggested that the girls go and take some time off in the city, and that you should join them if you feel you are able. I think you could all do with some relaxation before the trial."

"And I could do with a haircut..." I mutter, touching at my hair before answering with barely any thought; "Well, I'm up for a trip into town. I mean, it'll be good to get out and just do stuff for a change, instead of moping around all day like some depressed Goth."

The elements each voice their general agreement for the trip into Canterlot, although Rainbow doesn't seem to be overly interested at all. I think she's still coasting on the ego-high of learning that she's popular on an entirely different world.

"Yes!" Pinkie leaps out of her seat and immediately starts swaying from side to side, a wide grin plastered across her face. "Let's go have some fun!"

All That Glitters...

“So, dear…” Rarity asks innocently as she casually eyes up a dress in a boutique window. “…Are you enjoying yourself?”

I pause to consider her question. It’s my first time going out to Canterlot – which is to say, going out to have fun, instead of just commuting between the palace and the clinic. Surprisingly, it hasn’t really played out the way I thought it would.

Firstly, I hadn’t quite expected the paparazzi storm that had engulfed us when we left the castle grounds. There were twelve different unicorns, all furiously snapping photos of us and shouting questions relating to anything from the trial to my brand of cologne – it’s Mare’s Stallion, by the way. Rarity claimed that it was what all the proper Canterlot stallions were using, so why not give it a try?

The blitz hadn’t lasted long, though. The parasites had been quickly driven-off by the palace guards, leaving me to wonder why this was the first time I’d been mobbed when I’ve been out on the Canterlot streets a grand total of two times before now.

“It’s…” I turn and take a look at the dress Rarity’s busy evaluating. “It’s fun, but not really what I expected.”

“Is it because of those newspaper nuts?” Rainbow jerks her head forwards to the end of the street, where a pair of ‘journalists’ are being held at bay by a pair of city guards.

“Yeah. They kinda took me by surprise.”

“Not me.” Rainbow puffed her chest out. “Ponies are always bugging me for interviews and stuff, and I’d actually do some of them… but that sorta stuff’s way too boring, ya know?”

“Rainbow.” Applejack promptly reprimands the cyan mare for her boasting. “What she means, Jacob, is tha’ ever since this whole mess started, we’ve been getting them reporters buggin’ us every time we leave the palace.”

“Still better than the paparazzi on Earth.” I shrug. I feel like I should apologize for the inconvenience that the incident’s caused, but come on. Being bugged by the media’s probably the smallest out of all the complications I’ve caused – or more specifically; Trixie’s caused. “They’re like parasites.”

“That they are, Jacob.” Applejack nods, while I take a moment to wonder why she continues to call me Jacob, instead of Keys. “They’ll write down any li'l thing an’ call it news.”

I nod, and we fall silent, waiting patiently for Rarity to finish her window-shopping and the others to return from their own browsing. Twilight’s been sucked in by a bookstore further up the street, Fluttershy’s looking for some high-grade pet food – most likely for Angel – and Pinkie went AWOL the moment she saw a bakery, leaving the rest of us to mill around in the middle of the street.

It’s almost like going into town back on Earth – except that back on Earth most of my friends were male, and I didn’t get stared at wherever I went. That’s getting to be a real pain. Some ponies are subtle, others aren’t. Either way I feel like every move I make is being watched, which is extremely uncomfortable.

Maybe at some point, when the trial’s over and ponies have gotten used to having a human amongst them, I’ll be able to walk out here on my own and not be stared at like some carnival sideshow. It’s not even the ‘adored celebrity’ kind of staring, so much as it is the ‘Oh wow, it’s that really strange thing’ staring.

“Ugh…” Rarity grunts in a detestable tone. “This dress has been hoof-stitched all wrong, and altered with a machine of all things. What self-respecting boutique owner would put this on display?”

“Does it matter?” I ask bluntly, not even attempting to offer any real advice. It’s a useless gesture, though, as I know that Rarity’s making these comments to assert that she’s a better dressmaker than whoever produced the gaudy piece in the window.

“You aren’t going to buy it, so why don’t you just forget it entirely?”

Rarity doesn’t have a reply for me, so I simply shrug and turn to look at another window.

We’re in the heart of Canterlot’s shopping district, which is filled with the most upscale shops you could find. It’s just too bad that I’ll never be able to get my hands on a computer, or at least an iPod. I’m really missing my music.

Instead, most of these stores are filled with products that could come from – at the very latest – the forties. Things like record players and typewriters seem to be the most mechanically-advanced devices I can find, even though Twilight has a machine that reminds me of a massive 50’s era computer in the basement of Golden Oaks, and the Flim-Flam brothers own something resembling a car.

Here’s a fun fact about Equestrian typewriters. There’s two different kinds. One has a full QWERTY keyboard, made so that unicorns and possibly pegasai can type directly onto paper– although I’m not really sure how fast unicorns would be able to type - due to their limited multitasking capabilities. Pegasi might have an easier time of it, but they’d be limited to peck typing with the tips of their wings.

The other kind is the same type shown in ‘Ponyville Confidential’, with only two oversized keys so that earth-ponies can operate them. I honestly have no idea how that works. Maybe it punches Morse Code into a card, and an air-reader converts that into text. As unlikely a concept as it is, there wouldn’t necessarily be any electrical computing involved… so it might work.

“Cupcakes!” Pinkie’s voice reaches my ears as she trots up the street towards us. Her back is laden with an obscenely large pile of confections, comprised primarily of cupcakes and all sorts of pastries. Even at a distance, they look mouth-wateringly delicious – which sucks, considering I can’t eat them.

“Lots and lots of cupcakes!” The party-pony hollers as she rejoins the group. “There’s enough for everypony!”

“How kind of you, Pinkie.” Rarity removes the top cupcake from the tower with her magic. “This all looks quite delicious.”

Disinterested, I turn my attention back to the storefronts around us. I’m starting to wish that I’d taken Twilight up on her offer to go looking though bookstores. A good book would be a great way to pass the hours leading up to the trial – after all, I can’t play the piano all the time.

The four mares are chatting away happily, snacking on Pinkie’s hoard of treats, which gives me a chance to do a little exploring. I mean, hey; I might even find something nice that catches my eye. I’ve still got a few thousand bits to my name, and I doubt funds will be a problem any time soon once the trial’s been and gone. The hell Trixie put me through is going to lead to some juicy reparations from her family, which means I’ll be able to pay my own way for the next little while – and stop leeching off the royal sisters.

Actually, I’m starting to feel quite cheerful. The worst is behind me, and the future is nothing but sunshine and friendliness – and therapy, of course. The only uncertainty is how long the Mane Six will be sticking around Canterlot. Most of them have duties back in Ponyville, which I doubt they arranged suitable stand-ins for before coming to Canterlot – I mean, the Grand Gallopng Gala was only meant to keep them away one night, and now it’s been ten days.

It’s at this point that I catch myself staring blankly at a set of large ornate dinner plates in the window of an expensive homewear store, drawing surprised stares from the ponies residing within it. An awkward chuckle at my own foolishness and a casual sidestep to the next window takes care of that issue, and I can’t help but notice that this is one of the first times in ages when I’ve taken such a ‘who cares’ approach to what random strangers think of me.

The next store looks to be selling antiques. A cursory look in through the window shows no musical instruments of any kind, so I simply frown and keep moving. I don’t know what problems so many people seem to have with browsing store windows. Even if you aren’t looking to buy, there’s normally something that’s interesting for some reason or other.

After ogling at a few different pony inventions – including a giant pair of hoof-operated scissors and an array of jewellery designed to fit on a unicorn’s horn – I find myself perusing the bookstands standing outside a fancy-looking bookstore, now so far up the street that the cheerful banter of my pony companions is barely more than a faint burbling.

There’s a breathtaking assortment of literature laid out in front of me, and I don’t recognize a single title or author. It’s actually a bit of an ‘Oh wow’ moment to think about. There’s so much to this world that the show could never hope to capture and portray. Every Equestrian author, and every book they wrote, and every page in those books are all things that I would have never known had actually existed had I not come here. Now I’m the only human ever to be privy to these things – apparently.

Is that a reason to be happy I’m here? I can never tell any more. Now I need to impose an extremely harsh standard on what makes me happy I came to Equestria, because it needs to be something so wonderful that it justifies a month of brutalization and torture. If I had arrived here any other way, every last little thing about Equestria would make me happy that I’m here.

And amazingly, thinking about this isn’t ruining my mood at all.

“Changelings and You: How to Enjoy a Successful Relationship with a Shape Shifter.” I mumble, gazing amusedly at one of the many books. Its cover depicts a Changeling with its upper body transformed into the likeness of what can best be described a handsome stallion with an alluring smile adorning his face. Looks like Equestrian society isn’t as G-rated as My Little Pony portrays it.

Looking through a few more of the books, I find myself surprised by how many relationship guides are adorned with pictures of stallions. Most of them are images of rugged or handsome ponies, but a few seem to lean towards the sultry in their presentation.

I suppose that if you consider all of the background ponies from the show, Equestria still has a mare-stallion ratio that slightly favours mares. Maybe that’s caused a swap in gender objectification when compared to Earth – although judging by the small number of sexually-themed covers, I’m more inclined to say that the scales are close to even, leaning slightly towards stallion-objectification. It’d sure be fun to just view a group of ponies for a day and see what they do differently to humans, but I’d probably spend the entire time feeling like some creepy stalker.

As my long-winded train of thought on Equestria’s loose gender rolls comes to an end, I place the books back onto the rack and move into the store. I’ve got a chance to gleam some of the finer details of Equestrian society here, and I’m sure the others can do without me for a little while.

“The Lonely Mare: A Biography of Princess Luna… The Fantastical Sky Pirates of the North…” Some of these titles sound terrible. I also can’t help but feel that any biography written by the same pony who wrote a fiction novel on Sky Pirates would be a piece of crap. That’s a little preemptive, but I have no intention of actually finding out.

There’s a plethora of books available, grouped under their author’s name. What’s also surprising is the range some of these authors posses. I never would have thought that the mare who wrote the ‘Daring Do’ series could have also authored a collection of adult novels, but she did. (It’s also worth noting that there appear to be at least thirty Daring Do books, and this particular store has awarded them three shelve rows to hold all their copies.)

“How to please your stalli- Oh-Jesus, really?” I shake my head, quickly moving to the next collection of books, which appear to be a set of Daring Do rip-offs. And there was me thinking that Bronies had over exaggerated the popularity of the series.

“The Exciting Escapades of Ebony Eldritch? Come on.”

“Keys?” A familiar voice catches my attention, prompting me to turn on the spot and meet the gaze of a purple mare with four books slowly orbiting her head.

“Twilight.” I nod at the shelves next to me. “Just immersing myself in some Equestrian culture…. I think. Oh, and it seems that the others are nearly ready to get moving.”

“Okay.” She nods in turn. “I just need to pay for these.” Her eyes flicker to the books dawdling in a circle just above her eye-line.

“Right.” I glance up at the four books. They all look to be the same size and color, with the one presented to me right now emblazoned with the title; ‘A Mare’s Guide to Cultural Tolerance’.

Twilight walks past me, heading towards the counter at the front of the store. I myself can only stand there and bite my lip.

She’s buying a book on being culturally tolerant. That reminds me that I’ve made no attempt to adjust my behavior to Equestrian standards. The fact that Equestria and Earth have such similar social rules isn't exactly a factor when it comes to trying to fit in. There’s bound to be some notable differences, and I think I owe it to the others to at least try to fit in.

I watch Twilight walk away for a further second, before stepping back towards the corner she had emerged from.

After slipping out of sight, I immediately identify a large shelf full of books, each one emblazoned with the title ‘A Mare’s Guide to X’. Scanning through the titles, I see that they cover a massive range of topics, from astronomy to dating other species.

Of course, none of this helps me. There must be some books here for stallions.

Looking down, I notice that the books in the bottom shelf are colored differently to the rest. Their covers are a navy blue instead of a dark red.

Slowly – and painfully – I drop to my haunches, bringing my gaze to bear on the apparently smaller ‘A Stallion’s Guide’ series, which have been co-authored by the same writers of ‘A Mare’s Guide’.

My first worry is about the smaller selection range. A book on being culturally sensitive doesn't strike me as being a best seller in a place like Equestria – especially in Canterlot, with its majority unicorn population – so it’ll be a stroke of luck if they have a copy, considering how few books I see right now.

“Oh, hey; There it is.” I mutter to myself, retrieving a book from end of the shelf. “Huh. Convenient.”

With much groaning and cursing under my breath, I rise back to a standing position to properly inspect my prize. As I recall, two days ago I needed help getting up from a cushion. Now I can do squats without having to prop myself up with my cane. If that isn’t progress, then I don’t know what is.

I stroll back up to the front of the store, where Twilight is completing her purchase of seven different books – six of which look to be from the ‘A Mare’s Guide’ series. I can’t help but find that unusual, considering how scientific Twilight is. She has access to the Canterlot Archives, so why is she buying a bunch of beginner-level tutorial books?

“There we go.” Twilight accepts her change from the tired looking clerk, before picking up the stack of books with her magic and turning to me. “What’s that?”

“Just one of those ‘Stallion’s Guide’ books.” I shift slightly so that the subject title of the book is hidden. The last thing I want right now is a discussion on whether or not I need to be more culturally sensitive with Twilight in the middle of the store.

“Oh. Okay then.” Twilight nods slightly, looking notably irked by my evasiveness. “I’ll just… go meet up with the others.”

“Sure. I’ll be right behind you.” I make a point of smiling warmly as the lavender mare turns and departs. It might be a little awkward, but at least I averted an argument.

Once Twilight is out of sight I turn and slide the book onto the counter, before rummaging through my pocket and placing the fourteen bits the price-tag demands on top. “Good morning. Just this, thanks.”

The weary-eyed, blue-coated stallion behind the counter fixes his gaze on the book and money for a moment, before glancing up at me.

“I’m sorry.” He reaches out with one hoof and casually sweeps both the book and the bits towards him, pulling them over the edge of the counter. “We don’t serve monkeys here.”

I watch dumbly as the stallion sweeps both the book and my bits onto the floor in front of him, which places them well out of my reach. It takes a good three seconds for his words to register.

“I’m sorry?” I raise an eyebrow. Surely I misheard him.

“I said, we don’t serve your kind here. No animals.” The stallion’s eyebrows drop slightly, turning his eyes from tired to angry as a hard edge enters his voice. “Now, get out of my store.”

Is this actually happening? Did this prick just steal my money and tell me to get out? Am I being targeted by racial discrimination?

“What?” I blink twice at the blue unicorn. It looks like Equestria definitely isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Trixie’s journal had alluded to her being a unicorn-supremacist, and it looks like there are others with the same mindset.

“I said…” The unicorn’s eyebrows lower further as raises himself up slightly, despite the fact that at best his head reaches the top of my stomach. “…Get, out.”

“What?” I ask again, still finding it hard to believe that the owner of a book store is doing this. Where the hell did this come from?

“I’m not saying it again.” The clerk tenses up slightly, as if anticipating some sort of scuffle. “Get the hay out of my store, you dumb Monkey – or there’ll be trouble.”

I continue to stare at the unicorn for a few more seconds, summing things up. I’ve just been robbed, and now I’m being discriminated against and threatened. There’s no way I’m going to just stand here and take it.

“Trouble?” I spit the word out of my mouth, loading it up with as much contempt as I can. “You think I’m afraid of your prissy little ‘trouble’?”

The clerk bristles at my accusation “Are you call-”

“No! No! Fuck you!” I cut him off, my voice rising in volume. “I was beaten tortured, and kept in a cage for a month! Do you think I’m afraid of a scrawny little asshole like you?”

The blue unicorn stares at me for a moment. It doesn't seem like he’s at a loss as to what to say, so much as he seems surprised by my explosive rebuttal.

“How dare you?!” He demands, his voice outraged. “How dare you speak such slander in my store?!”

“Go fuck yourself!” I respond heatedly, hefting my cane. “I should… I should kick your ass for that!”

I’m taller than this asshole, and I have my trusty cane to use as a club. Even in my weakened state, I think I could win in a struggle – provided that he doesn't get a chance to buck at me, of course.

“I’d like to see you try, you filthy ape!” The clerk looks about ready to leap over the counter and attack me. What started as some R-13 racism has escalated into a heated exchange that looks to be on the verge of becoming physical in nature.

“Keys? Are you okay?” Twilight’s voice cuts off my own reply, which most likely would have been the final quip from either me or the clerk before our exchange came to blows.

I turn to look at Twilight, who is accompanied by Applejack and Rainbow Dash. The other three mares are hanging back in the middle of the street, and all six of the look concerned.

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“But we heard shouting.” Rainbow challenges my claim. “What’s going on?”

I pause, glancing at the now-uncomfortable looking unicorn behind the counter. I desperately want to hit this racist stallion, but at the same time I know I already have an infinitely better option available to me at this very moment. All I need to do is mention this to the others, and this guy will get his comeuppance. It’ll most likely be a fine or something for theft and slander, which is okay with me. It’s still a better idea than getting into a brawl.

I smirk slightly at the stallion. It goes without saying that he hasn’t thought this through very well.

“It’s fine.” I repeat as I smile readily, looking from the mares to the clerk. “Enjoy the rest of your day, sir.”

I take a moment to savor the growing expression of apprehension on the clerk’s face, before turning back to the others. “Let’s go. I’ll tell you outside.”

Meeting the Parents

“How’s that looking?”

“It’s fine.” I turn my head from side to side, examining my haircut. “Could be a little shorter in the back, if you don't mind.”

“No problem.” The brown-coated hairdresser raises her scissors again, and I once more feel the slight tugs on the back of my hair, accompanied by the faint ‘snip’ as my hair is trimmed back a little more.

It’s been like this for the last half hour. Obviously, no hairdresser in Equestria would have experience with cutting human hair, which means that for the entirety of my trim I’ve had to specifically explain how it needs to be cut. So far it’s shaping up well. There’s only a couple of months of excess hair to get rid of, which was hanging to the bottom of my earlobes. Now it’s been shortened back with a standard trimming – which you wouldn’t think would require that much instruction, but it did.

I’m starting to get more than a little stir crazy. I’ve been sitting here for nearly double the time a simple trim would take back home, and this chair isn’t exactly comfortable. Ponies tend to sit on stools more than actual chairs, so there’s no back support. I’m also starting to get a bit irritated by Rarity, who’s been carefully disposing of any hair before it can come into contact with my clothes.

The door to the salon lets out a little 'tinkle' as it opens, and I glance in the mirror to see Twilight and Applejack approaching from behind.

“Well, that’s all taken care of.” Applejack reports. “Personally, ah wanted t’ give that stallion one heck of a whooping... but ah guess this works too.”

“What happened?” I ask, unable to turn to look at them properly while my hair is still being trimmed.

“I went and found a guard, and we went to have a talk with the clerk.” Twilight replies. “Oh, and we got you this.” Her horn lights up, lifting a navy blue book from her bag. “Is this the one you were trying to buy?”

I glance at the cover through the mirror, unable to read the backwards text in the reflection. “Yeah. I – uh – think so.” I trip over my words as I attempt to nod, only to remember that there’s still a pair of scissors hovering around my head.

“Uhh… okay then, so how’s the haircut going?” Twilight nods, and places the book back in her bag. That surprises me. I would have thought she would have something to say about whether or not I need to be more culturally sensitive.

“Nearly done – and looking pretty good, too.” A glance at the stylist confirms that my compliment was well received. “So… what the hell was all that? What did that stallion think was going to happen when he did that?”

“Uhh… he probably didn’t think about it at all.” Twilight scuffs a hoof at the floor, seeming a little hesitant to explain. “He’s a unicorn-supremacist – like Trixie – and apparently this isn’t the first time he’s been accused of discrimination.”

“A unicorn-supremacist?” I’m surprised that I was actually right. “Really? How do people like that function in such a diverse world?”

“Well, it’s easier in Canterlot because of the high percentage of unicorns.” Twilight glances at Applejack. “And apparently most of the other accusations were from zebras, or earth ponies. There aren't many of either in the area, which would explain how he's been able to go so long without any significant altercations.”

“That no-good low-life.” Applejack chips in heatedly.

I want to nod, but I can’t. I suppose a unicorn-supremacist would be able to at least tolerate the two other pony species, and living in a place like Canterlot would make for a lot less interactions with ‘undesirables’. However, there’s still one thing that bugs me.

“But what did he think was going to happen? That I’d just walk away, and that’d be the end of it?”

“Well… like I said, he probably didn’t think about it at all. Racism isn’t a rational reaction, and the way he treated you at first was most likely reflexive.”

I give a little sigh, pursing my lips. “Fun way to start the day. I run into one of the few nut-jobs this city has to offer – right?”

“Uhh… Supremacist ponies are pretty sparse, yes.” Twilight confirms, which lifts my spirits.

I think it’s fair to say that this morning hasn’t played out as I expected. I still wouldn’t call it completely bad, and I haven’t had my mood ruined. What kind of person would I be if a let this ruin my entire day? People on earth can go through worse, and so can I.

I’ll admit, though, that I really wanted to hit that stallion. It goes without saying that once I told the others, Applejack and Rainbow were both ready to charge in there and kick some racist ass. That’s the entire reason I left the store before telling them. The last thing we needed was to make a scene involving two mares betting the crap out of some bookstore clerk.

I’m still not sure whether or not I should have tried to fight him. Looking at things in hindsight, there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t have been able to win. I’m not that fit, after all.

“Okay then, how’s that?” The hairdresser takes a step back.

“That’s good.” I nod, examining my hair in the vanity mirror. “How much?”

“Twenty four bits, thanks.”

“Right.” I reach into my pocket, counting out the bits by touch. “Uhh… yeah. Here you go.”

“Thanks very much.” The hairdresser’s horn lights up again as she plucks the money from my palm.

“Oh my, I think it looks wonderful!” Rarity – who is now relieved of her hair-catching duties – compliments as I stand up. "Quite elegant in its simplicity."

I consider telling her that it’s just a trim, but I can’t help but feel that would be a little too rude. Instead I simply lean forward and run my hands through my hair, knocking out as many of the loose hairs as I can.

“Uhh… thanks.” I straighten up and retrieve my cane from its resting place against the counter, before checking the clock on the wall. “Oh wow. It’s after twelve. Who wants lunch?”

“Dear Jacob,” Rarity replies quickly, drawing a quietly muttered ‘Keys’ from me. “I’d hardly feel at ease if we were all eating while you had to just sit there and watch. It wouldn’t be at all proper.”

I shrug. “I can go without eating. I’ll just have something at the palace.”

Twilight clears her throat, cutting off a response from Rarity. “Actually, I was talking with Maneworthy yesterday before he had to leave.” She falls silent for a second, providing an opening for a response that most people on Earth wouldn’t provide.

“And?” I gesture slightly with my hand as the four of us migrate towards the door of the small salon.

“Well, he said that we can start ‘weaning’ you off of the treated food. We’re meant to start with low-calorie stuff, so I think you could... maybe... get some salad."

“Well… that sounds good.” I lie through my teeth. At the moment, I’d really like some more of that bacon they served back at the clinic. Any meat at all would be great, considering that I never ate the sausage meat from last night. That said, I’m extremely hungry, and salad should suffice.

“So, again; does anyone want lunch?”

***

“Your meals.” Our waiter says simply, depositing our food in front of us in pairs.

We’re sitting at a large outdoor table of what looks to be a fairly up-scale eatery. From what I can tell it isn’t one of the omnivore-serving restaurants that Maneworthy mentioned, but that’s not really relevant. According to Twilight, I’m still not ready to eat untreated meat.

I watch as the ponies and I receive our dishes; two slices of apple pie for Applejack and Pinkie., and five lettuce salads for the rest of us. I wonder if Equestrian salads are different from Earth salads. I think they might be a staple food, so maybe they’ll be different somehow

I glance up as my plate comes to a stop to see that the others are already eating. Following their example, I pick up a leaf of iceberg lettuce with my fingers – as the salad doesn’t come with cutlery – and take a bite. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed as I realise that it doesn’t taste any different from lettuce on Earth, but at least it’s something to eat.

I look around the table at the other ponies, who are still eating. It’s actually nice to know that they aren’t worrying about me for the change. It makes me feel less reliant… a little more independent, I guess.

I suppose this is what I’ve been waiting for. A nice day of doing normal stuff and having fun is just what I wanted – even if the experience has been tainted by racism.

Feeling reasonably upbeat, I proceed to eat the remainder of the lettuce leaf, before going to work on the rest of my salad. “I can’t believe that the chefs could actually bleach substance out of lettuce. Isn’t it like… ninety percent water?”

“Ninety five.” Twilight corrects me, looking up from her meal briefly.

“Right.” I nod, and we both return to eating.

I have to add here that it’s an interesting opportunity to watch ponies eat. Rarity and Twilight pick up lettuce leaves one at a time with their magic, while Rainbow and Fluttershy use the ambient telekinesis that the tips of their wings seem to have.

I’m not entirely sure what earth ponies use, though. I’d imagine that they’d generally hold cutlery with the ambient telekinesis their hooves possess – but I can’t be sure because Applejack’s resting her pie slice on her hooves so that she can take hearty bites, and Pinkie… I don’t even know. She was done eating before I looked. I don’t want to think about it right now.

Rarity and Fluttershy are chatting quietly by this point, and Pinkie’s already starting to look restless. It’s now that I realize that if I don’t stop staring at everypony and finish up my food the others will be waiting on me – and that'll just be another entry in a long list of the inconveniences I've caused.

With that in mind, I look back down at my food and retrieve a handful of leaves – which I then proceed to eat.

And of course, that’s when I’m interrupted by the sound of a stallion loudly clearing his throat.

“Excuse me.”

“Ugh.” I crease my eyebrows in irritation as I drop my lettuce back to the plate and turn to the source of the distraction. “Yes?”

I’m presented with the sight of four grim looking unicorns; two mares and two stallions. Both stallions look notably aged, as does one of the mares. The second mare looks to be considerably younger than the other three unicorns, but her face is no less serious. She herself looks rather sad as well.

The three older ponies all look to be roughly the age of Rarity’s parents, with streaks of grey through their hair. One of the stallions – who has a light brown coat with a waxed dark brown mane – is in a full ‘pony suit’, which is pretty much what you’d expect. It's basically a dark brown business-suit top with a white shirt and red tie, minus the pants. The only clothes worn by the other stallion is a white neck collar with a blue tie to compliment his cream coloured coat and combed-back brown mane.

The older mare sports a faded blue coat with a cream coloured mane that does a good job at playing down the grey hairs it contains done up in an elegant bun. She’s not wearing any clothing, save for what I think is a pearl necklace. The only pony who looks out of place in the group is the younger teal-coated mare, who is neither wearing any accessories nor styling her long white-blue mane.

“You’re the… Piano Man, yes?” The unclothed stallion asks tentatively as I turn around in my seat to stare at his face. It’s creased with multiple lines, many of which are focused around his eyes, making them look extremely tired. “I wondered if we might have a word.”

For no reason other than checking their responses, I glance at my eating companions. They all look as baffled as I feel.

After a large amount of hesitation, I turn back to the four ponies and ease myself to my feet. “I suppose I am. What’s it about?”

“It concerns the trial, sir.” The stallion wearing the suit replies in a cautious tone. “We’d like to discuss the proceedings.”

I give a little sigh, and nod my head at the Elements. “Can it wait? We’re having lunch.”

“Please, sir.” The stallion in the suit clears his throat slightly. “My clients have come all the way from Manehattan. All they request is a moment of your time.

I do an immediate double take, in the form of glancing at Twilight, then returning my gaze to the suited pony – who I think is a lawyer – and then suddenly shifting my eyes back to Twilight, who’s face has adopted an extremely startled expression to match my own. She told me that Trixie’s family was made up out of Manehattan industrialists. It’s almost certain that these are them.

Now considerably more interested – and worried – I turn back to the Lulamoons and their lawyer, gesturing with my hand to the café’s empty other table situated across the store-front from us. “Alright then. Let’s talk.”

The lawyer and who can only be Mr. Lulamoon both nod silently, their actions looking notably ‘soft’ in nature. All four of them are exuding a constant air of concern and worry, which is more than natural for a family who has an immediately related member facing charges by the government.

I hesitantly glance back at the others, before following the four newcomers to the vacant table, taking the seat with it’s back to my friends, which positions me as close to them as possible. I’m not sure what to expect here. Bribery? Threats? I hope to god that it isn’t pleading.

“You’re Trixie’s family.” I say simply. There’s absolutely no question to be asked here, as it’s obvious that they are. All I’m doing is acknowledging the fact.

“We are.” Mr. Lulamoon speaks quietly. “I was hoping I might have a word with you.”

I give a little shrug, “You’ve got it. I suppose you want to convince me to drop the charges.”

The older ponies share a collective glance between the three of them, before Mr. Lulamoon speaks again. “I understand how unlikely it is that you will agree to our request-”

“Impossible.” I correct him bluntly. “There’s no way I’m dropping the charges.”

The left corner of Mr. Lulamoon’s mouth twitches slightly in what I find to be a very worrying reaction. Once coupled with the deep bags under his eyes and the strain in his voice it makes it clear just how stressed the stallion is.

“-And yet…” He coughs awkwardly, apparently making no effort to portray an image of the typical confident industrialist. “…I would very much appreciate it if you would hear me out.”

“I’m telling you right now that it’s not going to work.” I reply, my face set in an irritated scowl.

Trixie’s mother is the one who replies to my refusal, and it’s when she finally speaks that I realise the mare is on the verge of tears.

“If it’s a question of bits, we can pay whatever your price is.” The scratchy ‘hiccupy’ edge to her voice grates against my nerves. “Just name it.”

“I don’t want money.” I reply coldly. “I want Trixie to pay for what she’s done.”

“There must be something we can offer.” The younger mare – who I assume to be Trixie’s sister – suddenly speaks with a heated voice that is belied by her tired exterior. “Property. Valuables. Promises. What do you want?”

I give a pointed sigh of frustration. “I don’t want anything from you. All I want is for that monster to get the punishment she deserves.”

“She’s no monster!” Mrs. Lulamoon suddenly shouts at me. “She’s my daughter!”

“She is a monster!” I shout back at her, standing up angrily. “She’s a horrible pony who will do anything to get ahead, even if it involves enslaving, mind-raping and torturing a defenceless creature!”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself as the four ponies all stare at me with varying degrees of anger and disbelief. “I don’t know how much you’ve been told about what’s happened, but I sincerely doubt that you know the whole story – because if you did, you wouldn’t be supporting her.”

“She’s our daughter, and we still love her.” Trixie’s father replies. It seems like my adamant refusal has knocked most of the fight out of him, judging by how completely deflated and worn down he looks as opposed to earlier, when he was retaining some semblance of composure. “And we don’t want to lose her.”

I stare at the stallion for a second, unable to believe that he just said that. “You’re afraid of losing your daughter? You don’t want to lose your egotistical, psychotic unicorn-supremacist daughter?” My already deep scowl becomes even heavier with my words. “I lost everything, and your daughter was the one who took it from me!”

Trixie's sister is looking away, staring at the wall of the café with watery eyes. Her mother looks so close to tears that I can't stand it. The thought that a fully grown mare could break down and cry because of me is almost unbearable. The only pony who doesn't have a face like somepony just killed their dog is the lawyer, who appears both resigned and slightly confused.

I take a step back, planting my walking stick solidly on the ground while attempting to keep a straight face in the midst of a family on the verge of breaking down into a group crying-session. Applejack and rainbow Dash have come to stand on either side of me, with both of them looking more than ready to fight the source of my own distress.

“Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, but I’m not dropping the charges.” I shake my head angrily. “Trixie’s going to see justice for what she did to me, and you can’t stop it.”

"You can't do this!" Mrs. Lulamoon suddenly shouts in response as tears start to flow from the corners of her eyes. "You can't take my daughter from me!"

I swallow tensely, realizing that my own throat feels extremely tight. This entire scenario is not one I thought I'd have to go through, and I feel awful about telling these ponies this – and that I've acted so cold and heartless about it.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracks ever so slightly as I speak, drawing concerned glances from the ponies on either side of me. "This isn't about you. This is about justice being served. I can't let her just walk away after what she's done..." I take a sharp breath. "...No matter what it means to you."

With those words spoken, Trixie's sister slumps over in her seat, seemingly having lost all her resolve. Mr. Lulamoon leans over to comfort his wife, who has now broken down into ragged sobs.

Rainbow reaches out with one wing and tugs cautiously at my arm. "Come on big guy. Let's go."

I linger for a moment as the two mares turn away from the devastated group, Can I really do this? can I really just drop this on them like that – and in such a horrible way?

Feeling the first pricks of tears in my eyes, I turn my back on the family and move back to the Elements, who have abandoned their seats.

As a group they usher me out into the street, headed back towards the castle. We've only moved a dozen or so meters when Mrs. Lulamoon lets fly again, apparently still not done.

"NO! You can't do this! You can't do this to us!" She shrieks as we leave. "You can't just take her from us! It isn't right!"

I take another sharp breath, her every word cutting at me. It's true... even after everything that's happened – all the horrors, all the atrocities, and all the violence – it still isn't right.

And yet it has to be done, because at the same time it's completely right.

The ponies ferry me up the street, which has become much more densely populated since midday. The ponies in front part as we approach, with the majority of the crowd staring at either us or the screaming mare back at the café, most of their expressions taking the form of varying levels of concerned intrigue.

It's horrible.

The seven of us keep moving at a fast pace until we're nearly at the palace, which is when the shrieking and screaming finally fades away entirely, leaving nothing in its place but the standard 'bustling' sound of Canterlot at midday. It's at this point that Twilight finally turns to me.

"What happened back there? Are you alright?"

I look at her for a second, before raising my hands to my face and cupping them around my eyes. I take a deep breath, before slowly letting it out and lowering my hands to look at the lavender mare.

"No, Twilight... no I'm not." I speak slowly, turning my head to look back the way we came. "I just destroyed what was probably a family's last hope..."

I turn back to the mares wiping one hand at my eyes to make sure that none of the threatening tears hiding behind them can escape. I wasn't expecting any of this. I never even considered it as a possibility.

After pausing for a few seconds, I take yet another breath.

"And I never even stopped to learn their names."

Religion

This chapter contains what is an attempt at an unbiased explanation of religion based on known facts on the subject (Its role in history; ETC). I acknowledge that this is a hard subject to broach/explain, and that I may easily have not succeeded in my goal. The expressed views are my own, and I ask that the more religion-inclined members of this story’s readers keep this in mind and try to not take offense at any questionable content that I may have posted.

May.

“I’m not sure whether to call today packed or not.” I comment bitterly, leaning against the rail of my suite’s upper floor and staring out of the floor-to-ceiling glass that takes up the exterior wall of the apartment. “But it was definitely… strange as hell.”

Twilight lets out a little huff of a laugh at my statement, despite the fact that it wasn’t meant to be humorous. “That’s one way of putting it.”

I give a little shrug. “I don’t really know how to put it. Distressful comes close, I guess. I mean, come on; I had to just crush those ponies' hopes... even if it wasn't up to me anyway.”

The mare beside me nods, and we both fall silent.

Dinner has been and gone. Treated beef cuts for me, and the usual salad for the others – oh, the others stayed for dinner. It was nice, kind of like inviting friends over. The only problem is that I don’t feel like I know any of the Elements quite well enough on a personal level to say that we’re friends. I’d consider myself Twilight’s friends, but thus far I feel that the others are still just acquaintances.

Social rules are pretty stupid when you get down to it.

Anyway, now Twilight and I are the only two left. The others weren’t interested in participating in our nightly conversation, mostly because they’re a little more serious than idle chit-chat. Tonight’s going to be a real doozy. I’m going to put forward the idea of religion to Twilight, and see what Equestria has in relation to it. What’d be really interesting would be if it turns out that pony civilization has developed without any actual religious organisations, because then I could get what would essentially be an impartial view of the concept – provided that I myself portray it accurately and without a bias, which will be tough.

In fact, this is what I’d call the ‘build up’ for our conversation. It’s the part where we barely speak as I gather my thoughts. I hope Twilight isn’t doing the same, as I doubt we’ll be discussing much apart from religion. On any other night I would have assumed that she was gathering her thoughts, but at the moment my unicorn companion is looking more than a little drowsy, so maybe she isn’t.

“Only one day until the trial.” I note to the lavender mare, standing up straight and turning towards the stairs.

“How are you feeling?” Twilight asks quietly, moving to join me as we slowly make our way to the stairs.

“Nervous. Worried. Apprehensive.” I raise one hand in a gesture of helplessness. “A lot of stuff. It’s hard to label them all. You?”

“Excited.” The mare replies, before hurriedly elaborating at the prompt of my raised eyebrow. “Because Trixie has no hope of winning, and that it will feel so good to have her convicted.”

“Uh-huh.” I nod as we start to descend the staircase. Judging from the mare’s voice, I think she might be exhausted as well as excited. “I wonder what will happen once it’s over. There’s going to be a lot of therapy – mostly mental, but some physical, I guess – and… what else?”

Twilight frowns. “I don’t know. I guess after that… it’s whatever you want to do.”

I feel a little pang of emotional anxiety in my chest as I hear her words. Twilight’s right; what comes after the trial is completely up in the air. It’s only now that I consider the possibility that I’ll be separated from the Elements, be it by performances, them going home and me staying here, or me actually being sent home to Earth.

I don’t want that. I don’t want to leave them… I mean, what would I do without them? Most likely sit around and do nothing for ninety percent of the time. I’d happily move to Ponyville to prevent us being separated.

“Keys?”

“Huh?” My eyes shift to look at Twilight. “Oh, sorry. I dazed off again.”

“I was just wondering if you were okay. You looked really… sad.” She cocks her head to the side slightly. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine.” I place a smile on my face as I answer in a slightly too-quick fashion, even though it’s pretty much the truth. Feeling a little anxiety does not qualify me as being unwell. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Twilight presses as we reach the bottom of the stairs. It’s the first time yet that her curiosity has irritated me.

“Just about our conversation topic.” I lie quickly, attempting to divert the conversation. I’d rather not burden the mare with my insecurities. “On that note; are you ready for it?”

“Am I!” Twilight perks up, apparently using her excitement to push her weariness to one side as she quickly trots to the entry of my suite, which is where her saddlebags are located. “I brought paper this time!”

I give a slight scoffing laugh at her words as I move myself to the nearest couch and sit down. I remember mentioning last night that she should bring paper, and I should have known she would remember. “Oh, good.”

“Yeah. At least now I’m organised.” Twilight speaks quickly as the sound of clinking glass reaches my ears “Would you like a drink of water?”

“Yes, thanks.” I roll my eyes as I look out the windows again. Judging by the noises, Twilight had been in the process of pouring me a drink anyway. “I suppose we’re going to be sitting here for a while, so why not?

“Okay then.” Twilight replies, before we both fall silent as she quickly gathers everything she needs.

I turn away from the window as twilight returns, energetically jumping up on the couch next to me and sitting down despite the obvious fatigue in her eyes. I can’t help but find it odd that she chose to sit beside me, when there’s an entire other couch where she could spread out her things better – but I’m more occupied by the fact that she’s controlling three different telekinetic fields at the moment. One contains a small stack of papers along with a feather-pen and an inkwell, another lifts the navy blue book I attempted to purchase earlier today, and the final holds two tall glasses of water from the fridge.

“Thanks.” I accept one of the glasses as Twilight moves the pair towards me, before also retrieving my book from her aura. “And thanks again.”

“You’re welcome.” Twilight replies with a brief smile, and then goes about arranging her papers and writing equipment. “Uhh… just give me a moment to get set up.”

“Sure.” I take an idle sip of my drink, before nearly doing a spit-take upon glancing at the title of my book. I manage to stop myself well enough, but even so I let out a surprised grunt as a tiny jet of water escapes my lips and lands on the coffee table.

“Keys?” Twilight’s head snaps back to me as I hurriedly swallow my mouthful of water and once again check the title of the book, coughing and spluttering the entire time. “What’s wrong?”

“Ah!” I take a sharp breath as my short coughing fit subsides. “Hah! This…” I clear my throat quickly, suddenly feeling flustered. “This, uh… ‘A Stallion’s Guide to Dating Stallions’… definitely isn’t my book.”

“Oh!” Twilight glances at the cover, a flush of embarrassment appearing on her cheeks. “I’m so sorry! That store clerk said it was the one you tried to buy!”

I gag slightly, realizing that even after being penalized by the city guard, that store clerk managed to screw with me. “Hah! No, I didn’t buy this.” A half-laugh escapes my lips as the humour behind the situation hits me. “I wouldn’t buy a book like this.”

“Ah.” Twilight nods slightly, looking at the cover again. “So – uh… you aren’t… into stallions…?” She delivers the question in a tone that is more abashed and awkward than I thought was possible.

“Oh no!” I reply quickly, raising my hands at the suggestion. “Oh, hell no – not that there’s anything wrong with that, either. What I mean is – ugh.” I blink twice, getting more and more confused. “What I mean is that I don’t like stallions. I like mares.” I speak quickly trying to dispel any illusion that I might be homophobic. “It’s… no. I’m straight.”

“Right…” Twilight nods slightly, and I look down at the book again.

“Huh. Twenty bits out the window.” I frown, and then unceremoniously toss the book onto the coffee table. “Cool.”

We both sit in an awkward silence for a couple of seconds, before I turn to Twilight. “But seriously. I don’t… you know, ‘swing that way’.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Twilight nods. “Me neither – although some of my friends back in Ponyville are homosexual.”

“Right.” I sit back in my chair for a second, briefly contemplating the odds of any of Twilight’s ‘homosexual friends’ being some of the brony favourites. People seem keen on Lyra and Bonbon. Maybe it’s them. “Well. That was… awkward. Maybe we should just… y’know, move ahead.”

“Uhh… yeah.” Twilight quickly finishes organizing her things. “I agree.”

“Okay then.” I take a deep breath, and then release said breath in a loud exhale. “Well, tonight’s topic is a big one, so let’s start at the beginning; do you know what ‘religion’ is?”

“Religion?” Twilight raises an eyebrow, simultaneously dipping her feather pen in the inkwell and writing the word out at the top of her first page. “Uhh… no. I’m not familiar with it.”

“That doesn’t surprise me – although it means I have to take some time and explain it.” I raise one hand to the side of my head. “Okay… so, ‘religion’ is pretty much a set of beliefs that each human has regarding the creation of existence, who or what created it, what happens after we die, what moderates our existence, and what the point of life is.”

“That sounds… really serious.” Twilight raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain.

“People certainly take it seriously.” I frown and take a sip of water as I run through my own knowledge of religion. “There are about twenty major or ‘primary’ religions, and each one has dozens of sub-religions that were formed through ideological differences. Almost all religious beliefs follow the idea that the universe and the human race were both created by a ‘god’, or a set of gods. The general opinion is that whoever created the universe is some sort of omnipotent, omniscient being that watches everything that we do, so that when we die it can be decided what happens to us, or something to that effect.”

“What… happens?” Twilight raises one hoof to her eye and rubs it, letting out a silent yawn as her previous excitement apparently gives-way under her tiredness. “What do you mean?”

“Uhh, well… I’m not sure how many, but a few of the religions believe in the existence of a heaven and a hell. The basic idea is that if you do good things during your life, you go to heaven when you die and spend the rest of existence in luxury, and doing bad deeds means that you go to hell and are punished for the rest of existence.

“The rest of existence?” Twilight stops scribbling down notes briefly. “That seems… insanely disproportionate.”

“Yeah. Critics like to mention that the concept of infinite punishment for finite crimes is more than unfair.” I purse my lips. “But then again, the Equestria I’ve seen has some of that too – indefinite banishment to the moon and imprisonment in stone being prime examples.”

“Well… yeah…” Twilight glances at me as she begins to protest my observation. “But maybe the problem with what you’re telling me is that those who are punished die and are punished forever.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I glance out the window, not wanting to get into an argument over what makes infinite punishment unfair. “Okay, I don’t think I’m doing this right. I can’t just mention the negatives. To be fair, I should tell you some of the positives of religion.”

“Which are…?”

“Uh – okay, let me start from the beginning.” I take a deep breath. “Almost all religions believe that there is at least one god, and some of them believe that there multiple ones. Some percentage – I’m not sure how many – also believe that humans are rewarded or punished forever once they die, based on their actions.”

“Right. I have all that.” Twilight glances at what she’s written so far.

“Yeah.” I look over the mare’s notes – which are closer to being a transcript of the facts I’ve stated so far. The one thing I notice is that she’s so tired that the handwriting is barely legible. “Okay, one of the biggest upsides to religion is its teachings. All religions normally teach their followers to be kind to others and do the right thing. The problem is that many people are religiously intolerant, and will openly disparage those of a different belief to them.”

“Uh-huh… and… uh, what’s your religion?” Twilight glances up at me, her eyes questioning me. “What do you believe?”

“Technically, I don’t have a religion.” I reply stoutly. “I’m what is referred to as an ‘Atheist’. We’re the people who believe that there are no deities, and instead follow what we see as having been proven by science-”

“Wait.” Twilight suddenly interrupts me, before interrupting herself with a yawn. “Uh – if religions have been proven wrong by science, why do people follow them?”

“Well, technically science hasn’t proved any the many religions wrong. It’s proved parts of their stories wrong, but it’s almost impossible to prove that there is no god, due to the fact that god has been described as operating outside our plane of existence. Therefore, no matter what proof you throw up the religious can always say that god still exists, or that it was part of his plan, or that we can never understand his works.”

“This sounds very complicated.” Twilight comments in a low mutter.

“It really is, and I don’t think I’m explaining it right.” I sigh. “Religion is a huge part of human culture. I should’ve realized that I’d screw up at trying to convey it fairly. It’s next to impossible to be impartial and unbiased on something you are involved with, and there’s actually a lot of subject matter to cover.”

I glance at Twilight, who is yawning again. Now I’m definite that she didn’t sleep last night – and possibly the night before that. “And… no offense, but you don’t really seem in the best shape for a discussion like this. When’d you last actually sleep?”

“Sleep?” Twilight looks down at her notes. “Uhh… it wasn’t last night… and… was it the night before that? Ugh, I… I can’t remember.”

“Well, you look… pretty tired.” I manage to refrain from making a comment about her being hit by a train. In all honesty, the mare’s looking exhausted, and a quick glance at her writings shows that the scribbles are now completely illegible. I literally can’t understand them, even though they’re just the transcript of my terrible explanations. “Okay, really tired. I don’t think you’re in any shape for this kind of discussion.”

Truth-be-told, I’m not feeling overly alert either. I long for the day when going out into the city and pretty much just walking around and talking doesn’t leave me feeling drained, but at the moment I feel about ready to go to bed myself. Twilight’s yawning isn’t helping either.

“What? No…” Twilight glances down at her papers. “I’m fine, just… please don’t stop talking.”

“Don’t stop…” I raise an eyebrow.

“Don’t stop talking. I want you to keep talking.” Twilight’s voice drops to a mutter as her eyelids droop, before she suddenly wrenches them open again. “I’m having fun.”

I shake my head at the mare. “You’re going to be asleep in a couple of minutes. You know that, right?”

“No… no…” Twilight’s quill drops to her paper. “I’m fine… just… talking…”

I let out a little sigh. “You’re hopeless. Okay, gi’me a second.” My almost constantly present frown deepens as I think over what to say next. Like I said; there’s a lot to talk about.

“Okay, so the many religions have good intentions. They teach their followers to love, tolerate, and to just be better people as a whole. They don’t always succeed at this, and it’s widely acknowledged that religious teachings and disagreements have been the cause of at least half of humanities’ wars. There’s also the issue that some people believe in religious teachings, but are still not kind to many of their fellow man. That, however, is a failing of the people themselves, and not the religion.

“One of my own big problems with religion is how they reject proven modern science and facts in favour of their own ancient stories. Another issue is that…” I glance at Twilight, only to see that she’s failed in her attempts to stay awake, and is now snoring quietly. “…Oh… well, I was right.”

The lavender mare’s head is folded over her forehooves, placing her in a cat-like sleeping position and creating an adorable image the likes of which I haven’t seen since I was back at home and actually watching the show. Luckily, she’s managed to avoid knocking over her inkwell, which I carefully relocate to the coffee table.

I feel vaguely creepy, just sitting here and watching Twilight sleep. I’d actually get up and move if it wasn’t for one rather small thing – and it really is small. Simply put, I’m just a little curious in the ponies’ body structure. The show and my time here have both shown that there’s a huge difference between Equestrian and Earth equines when body structure is involved – such as the high amounts of flexibility in the limbs of Equestrian ponies. Their faces are far more human-like, instead of being… well, horse-faced, and of course I won’t even mention their strange coats, cutie-marks, sentience and anthropomorphism.

Earth horses normally sleep standing-up, as I recall, although they require at least one hour of lying down during their rest every day to achieve the necessary amount of REM-sleep for a healthy sleep cycle. (As an interesting note, it was actually My Little Pony that triggered me finding that out.)

Equestrian ponies, on the other hand, seem to spend most – if no all – of their sleep lying down. That might be because they’re not skittish and don’t fear predators, or maybe it’s related to another matter entire, which I haven’t really looked at until now: It’s about time that I stopped comparing the inhabitants of Equestria to Earth horses and ponies. It’s glaringly obvious that the only attributes they share are their body structures and species names.

Aside from that, the two races couldn't be more different. It’s like comparing humans to monkeys. The differences are so huge that it’s borderline offensive. The fact of the matter is that Equestrian ponies aren’t ‘animals’, by the human definition – the human definition being that an animal is sexually reproducing creature that does not have the faculties for cognitive thought – although all organic creatures are technically considered animals. It’s not a hard truth to accept, and is in fact a very easy conclusion to draw.

It’s a simple as that. Equestrian ponies are related to Earth ponies in the same way that humans are related to monkeys and apes; abstractly, with eons of evolutionary distance between them. The fact of the matter is that I need to stop viewing them as being related to unintelligent animals, because they just plain aren’t.

I smile slightly, easing myself up off the couch and quietly making my way towards the stairs. It’s hard to put into words, but I feel strangely ‘happier’ after having cleared that up with myself. Redefining my friends as being distanced from the unintelligent creatures on Earth somehow makes me feel like I’ve progressed in our understanding of each other, even if this is an identification that only I am aware of.

Also, I suppose me and Twilight will need to reschedule our religion discussion for when she’s finished resting-up – although with how terrible a job I’ve done at explaining it, it may be a better idea to simply drop the matter entirely before I imprint a biased opinion on Twilight. It was a stupid idea for me to think I could provide an impartial explanation of the system when I’m a partaker of it – and an opinionated one at that. I guess that’s another tally point for the ‘Keys is a dumbass’ rule. When Twilight get’s up I’ll have to ask her to disregard everything I said, and explain to her exactly why I think the information I’ve given her is unreliable.

I give a little sigh as I reach the top of the stairs and move to the entry to my bedroom. I’ll need to find some blankets and a pillow for Twilight, which will most likely be in one of the closets in my room.

Five minutes of searching a quiet muttering later, I emerge from my newly partially-ransacked room – now laden down with both the duvet-pillows from my bed and a small pile of spare blankets – and begin the return trip to the couch downstairs. My pace is still far too slow for my liking, and I’d probably be moving faster if I was still using my cane around the suite, but I think I’ll get in better shape if I stop relying on the cane in an enclosed space like this. Going out to the city is a different story, though.

“Hmm…” I hum discontentedly to myself as I start down the top of the stairs. The fact that a few blankets and a pair of pillows feel notably heavy to me is more than a little irritating. Carrying them feels about as taxing as carrying three full grocery bags would have felt before my enslavement. That’s a huge change in ability, and it still really bothers me… although I will admit that it’s much better than how I was on the first day of freedom, when I could barely even walk on my own – much less lift something. It’s progress, but it’s slow… and as a human, I find that infuriating. I’d consider myself to be moderately patient, but going this long and still being so feeble is downright infuriating to the point that I grind my teeth every time I think of the subject. My dentist would throw a fit, but he’s just another name on a very long list of people I’m probably never going to see again.

I yawn as I arrive at the bottom of the stairs, pushing my many thoughts on my physical condition to the side as I all-but hobble back to the couch.

My burden is unloaded onto the carpet with a quiet ‘oof’, before I busy myself slowly retrieving Twilight’s many papers and quills from around her sleeping form and relocating them to the coffee table with the embarrassing ‘Stallion’s Guide’ book and her inkwell.

With that done, I carefully lift up one of the blankets and unfold it, before draping it over Twilight’s sleeping form. After that, I gently lift the mare’s head with one hand and slide the duvet-pillow in between it and her hooves. The action causes the lavender mare to stir, but I manage to finish before she awakens.

Finished, I step back and frown, now feeling faintly irritated that I brought so much down and used so little. Now I need to trek all the way up those damn stairs just so that I can go to bed myself.

With a little grumbling under my breath, I scoop up the unused duvet-pillow and blankets, and pause to glare at the stairs for a couple of seconds. I am so sick of using stairs all the time.

Of course that’s when I realize that I don’t need to go back upstairs, because I have everything I need to go to sleep right in front of me. Sure, it won’t be as comfortable as the double-bed upstairs, but I literally can’t be screwed going up those stairs again.

I glance at the upper level of the suite, and then turn my gaze to the vacant couch opposite Twilight. I’m not opposed to taking convenience over comfort lately – especially when flights of stairs are involved – so I suppose I might as well just sleep down here.

“Mmm…” I hum discontentedly as I move around the coffee table to drop the remaining pillow on the couch opposite Twilight and the blankets on the floor. “Well, why not?”

I sit down on the couch, swinging my legs up the floor and curl up as I drop my head to the pillow, before reaching out, and retrieving the topmost blanket from the pile.

With that done, I roll onto my side so that I’m facing into the couch-back. I didn’t normally find it easy to fall asleep quickly back on Earth, but nowadays I’ve been finding myself falling asleep in the middle of the day. It’s so easy, it’s actually a little inconvenient.

Even now, I’m already feeling a little ‘disconnected’ from my body. I’m in that hazy, drowsy zone before sleep where realizing you’re in it normally yanks you back to being alert. (Oddly enough, I’m still falling asleep.)

I exhale at length through my nostrils as my eyes flitter close, only having one thought before I fall into a proper, restful sleep.

‘Twilight sure was acting weird… even for someone as tired as her.’

Author's Note

Looking back a year later, I am filled with regret by this chapter in particular.
What the fuck was I thinking? An entire chapter dedicated to bashing religion while still trying to be PC about it. Seriously, past-me, what the fuck?

Preparations

I've never been a real 'morning person'. Rarely have I ever woken up feeling refreshed, no matter how long I've slept - although on the bright side, it's only half-the-time that I wake up feeling totally ruined, which is better than most people I know.

Sadly, it seems that today will not be starting well.

Waking up and not feeling worn-out is a pretty good feeling. It's wholesome, and leaves me 'satisfied', for lack of a better word. It's like I've done something right during my rest that's allowed me to actually have a restful sleep.

Unfortunately It seems that I apparently didn't fulfill this enigmatic requirement last night, and it's for that reason that I forget that I'm not in a bed, and oafishly roll right onto the floor.

"Ugh," I grunt as I land on my side, immediately cursing my own forgetfulness. "Damn."

Still feeling a little drowsy, I pick myself up off the floor and turn around, trying to get my bearings. This sort of thing seems to be happening far too often lately.

The clock on the wall informs me that it's just past seven in the morning, a claim which is backed up by the bright early-morning sunlight flooding in through the wall-to-ceiling windows my lovely suite boasts. Twilight's still fast asleep on her own couch, which doesn't surprise me. The lavender mare was so exhausted last night, I wouldn't be surprised if she slept through to midday. After all her hard work, I think she's earned the break.

"Ehh..." I sigh slowly, before turning and tossing my blanket back on the bed. "I need a drink."

On those words, I shuffle away from the center of the lounge and into the kitchen, looking for the teabags. Tea doesn't carry the same kick as coffee, but I like the taste a lot better.

After a considerable amount of rummaging I manage to find what I'm looking for, pull out two mugs with freakishly large hoof-sized handles, and start boiling the jug. Twilight probably isn't getting up any time soon, but if she is then I don't want to be the only one enjoying a hot drink.

A few minutes later I have two mugs of hot - but admittedly bland - tea, both of which I carry back to the lounge, humming quietly to myself.

I deposit Twilight's drink on the coffee table and proceed to move out onto my suite's balcony, still humming quietly to myself. It'll be nice to have some early-morning quiet before the day gets busy... and my guess is that it is going to get busy. We probably have a lot preparation to do before the trial.

I sigh quietly, abruptly ending my tuneless humming. I'll be seeing Trixie again tomorrow, and that's not going to be easy. It's not like I'm angry about anything at the moment, but when I'm seeing her, there's no way that I'm not going to feel anything - not after what she did.

What's going to happen tomorrow, anyway? I still have no idea how the Equestrian legal system functions. My only hint so far is that the investigation only took a week... and that's not much of a hint. How big will the jury be? How long will it take?

"You made me tea?" The sudden question from a now-awake Twilight question knives through my head, decimating my thoughts instantly as I jump in surprise and turn to face her.

"Sorry!" the mare apologizes quickly. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," I reply, recovering quickly. "I, uh, didn't think you'd be up for another few hours. You were pretty wrecked last night."

"I've never been able to sleep in," Twilight responds in turn, taking a sip of her tea and moving up to stand next to me. "Thanks, by the way."

"Eh. It isn't very good tea." I deny her thanks. "I couldn't find the sugar, and I didn't leave the teabags in long enough." I glance down at the mare's still tired eyes. Of course she couldn't sleep in. Why on earth would she want to be well-rested?

The problem is; if Twilight keeps getting as little sleep as she's been getting our nightly conversations are going to continue to involve me doing all the talking, her acting odd, and will keep ending with Twilight sleeping on my couch.

That reminds me; Twilight really was acting 'off' last night, and it was a different kind of 'off' than it would have been if she'd just been tired. I'm not entirely sure how to peg it, actually. Maybe she really was just so exhausted that she wasn't acting like herself.

"So... I guess we should get breakfast," Twilight pipes up, interrupting my reflection.

"Yeah, and showers." I nod, brushing aside my thoughts for future consideration. "I don't want to spend all of today smelling like yesterday."

Twilight gives a slight smile at my half-assed joke, and then turns away. "In that case, I think you should have your shower now, and I'll run down to the kitchens and pick up breakfast."

"Sounds like a plan." I chirp unnecessarily, also turning my back on the vista from my balcony. "And let's hustle. We've got a hell of a lot to do today."

***

The suite is a complete mess.

Seriously. It's a total sty. Twilight has laid out what could be hundreds of papers in the center of the lounge, Rarity's taken up both my room and the upstairs dining area with her sewing equipment in order to produce the "most absolutely perfect suit for the public eye", and Pinkie Pie's completely trashed the kitchen as she and Applejack bake treats for the after-trial party (Because there will be no time for the preparation tomorrow).

The day's been pretty slow overall - although it's still been packed. Maneworthy dropped by to give me a quick examination, followed a little while later by Detective Lockhooves and Thunder Glider. All four of us and Twilight spent a couple of hours going over the trial and had lunch, before the Detective and Thunder both left to take care of their own preparations. Maneworthy stuck around for an extra hour simply for the sake of hanging around with us before leaving to work on the medical report for the trial.

Aside from working on my own testimony - which hasn't been as depressing as when I first dictated it to Spike - I've taken time to chat with the others, clear up my religious preaching from last night with Twilight, and provide input on the suit Rarity's putting together. She's taken every last one of my measurements again to account for the weight I've gained since she provided my first batch of clothes, and is creating the new kit from scratch. It's rather flattering, actually, that she'd take so much time to put together a brand new suit for me - even if it is also helping her Boutique. It's also generous of her, although I've technically paid her in full for both this suit and all my other clothes. She just doesn't know it yet.

The only ponies today who haven't really done much are Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who have been out on the balcony sunbathing and making friends with the local birds respectively. That's pretty predictable for Rainbow Dash, but I think that Fluttershy was spending most of her time out there due to her extreme timidness around me. That's something that might take some work.

Right now, I'm utilizing the two earth ponies' temporary absence from the kitchen to ogle of the tasty-looking apple-based confections they've cooked up - all of which but the most sugary ones I can now eat, according to Maneworthy. They're really looking fantastic, and judging from how many of them there are we're looking forward to a great turn-out at the party. That's good, because tomorrow's going to be a grim day. A good party at the end would really save my mood.

I actually got quite a shock earlier today, when Twilight mentioned to me that the entire trial would be over in a day. Something of this scale would be dragged out over several weeks - if not months - back on Earth, but in Equestria the presentation of arguments, the verdict and the sentencing all take place on the same day. I suppose that would be the product of a legal system that rarely has cases as massive as this. Twilight still hasn't briefed me on the details of how tomorrow is going to play out, but I'm finding it nerve-racking to know that by this time tomorrow we'll be done. Finished.

"Oh, Jacob dear." Rarity pipes up from my side, startling me from my strange activity that is a cross between food-stalking and day dreaming. "I believe that your suit is nearly ready. Would you like to come give your final opinion before I finish up?"

"Hmm?" I turn sharply to face the cream unicorn, feeling perplexed as to why everyone's been approaching me like this today. Maybe it's because I keep phasing out, which puts me in a position for it to happen. "Oh, sure."

"Wonderful." Rarity smiles and turns to the stairs, trotting away from me. "I'll just run up and make sure everything is in perfect order."

"Right." I call half-heartedly, before reluctantly abandoning the piles of confections - which Pinkie honestly could have left to the kitchen staff. I suppose it just wouldn't be a Pinkie party if she hadn't hoof-made all of the treats herself (With some help from Applejack, of course).

"Oh! Uh, Keys!" Twilight looks up from her many papers as I pass the center area of the suite, inexplicably tripping over her words. "Is there anything you need?"

"I'm just going up to give my final approval of Rarity's suit." I shrug. Twilight can't really do much until I sit back down with her, so why not get her opinion as well? "You wanna come see it?"

"Sure!" Twilight smiles, hopping off of her couch. "And then we can finish up your testimony."

"We can." I smile slightly in return before we both start to casually walk over to the stairs, dawdling at an extremely slow pace. "So I was wondering if you'd be able to explain something to me."

"I'll give it my best shot." Twilight giggles quietly. "What do you want to know?"

"Uh, well I was just wondering..." I shrug my shoulders again, trying to visually indicate that I'm talking in a broad sense. "How is the trial's going to proceed tomorrow? What's Equestria's court system like? Et cetera."

"Hmm... okay..." Twilight clears her throat as we reach and start climbing the stairs to Rarity's makeshift sewing room. "Well, I'm warning you now that tomorrow is going to be a very long day. The more complex a case, the longer it takes... which means that we'll be convening at six in the morning and carrying through as long as it takes until everything is finished. There's a half hour intermission for lunch, and a ten minute intermission every two hours. If you ask me, we could carry over into a second day, which would be an actual first for Equestrian courts."

"This really is a big case, isn't it?" I question quickly before the mare can continue. "I mean, if none have ever crossed the one-day mark..."

"Well, there have been bigger cases, but none of those could be prosecuted," Twilight replies with a smile. "Nightmare Moon's attack, the Changeling invasion, Discord's coup. All of those were dealt with long before any sort of court case could be made out of them."

"Ah." I nod. "Okay. You were saying?"

"I was saying... uh..." Twilight pauses for a moment. "Oh right; so we'll be starting at six in the morning, and we'll be presided over by Princess Luna and two of Canterlot's Justices of the Peace. For any other case of this size it would be Princess Celestia, Luna and Cadance, but whenever one is unavailable a Justice of the Peace is substituted in. Obviously, Princess Celestia and Cadance are being substituted because they're too personally involved in the case."

"Right. A one day case with Luna and two judges presiding," I repeat back Twilight's explanation in as simple a statement as I can condense it to. "What about a jury?"

"Juries are only used for normal cases, like property disputes or thievery claims," the purple mare replies quickly. "When we get up to trials where somepony's life has been severely affected - like yours - then the princesses are the only deliberators."

"Huh. A system like that would never fly on Earth." I comment. "But we don't have any omniscient, omnipotent beings as our rulers."

Not acknowledging my input with anything more than a nod, Twilight presses onward. "Once both sides have given their arguments, the deliberators will go into seclusion until they reach a decision. Normally any cases that are deemed important enough for the princesses consideration only require a deliberation of ten to twenty minutes.... but with our evidence, it shouldn't take much longer than that."

"So that's it?" I question bluntly. "We present all of our evidence in one day, and then wait for Princess Luna and two judges to decide?"

"In a nutshell, yes." Twilight nods. "Although how long the trial takes really depends on what defense Trixie is preparing. For all we know, her family's lawyers could have cooked up something long and elaborate to try and save her - although there's nothing that will."

"Uh huh..." I nod slowly. For a place like Equestria, I can see why this system works. It's such a low-crime society that there's never been a need for the princesses to develop a legal system as extended and convoluted as the ones on Earth. It's not perfect, but it's pretty close. I wonder if Trixie can plead unfit to stand trial for any reason. "And one final thing..."

"Yes?"

"What punishment is Trixie facing?" I look down at the lavender mare as our slow climb brings us close to the top of the stairs. "What could she get at the end of all this?"

"Uh..." Twilight purses her lips. "Well, for a crime like this the lightest punishment she's looking at is banishment. Worse than that is imprisonment... but the heaviest punishment she can receive is to be petrified."

"Petrified..." I whisper the word. I know what it symbolizes - what it means. If she's petrified, Trixie will be just like Discord; another statue in Celestia's garden. "...By the elements of Harmony."

"Yeah." The mare nods awkwardly. Talking about Equestria's most brutal punishment doesn't exactly make for a light-hearted conversation.

"That sounds awful for everyone involved." I comment quietly.

Twilight looks away, not answering. I'm not entirely sure what she's thinking, but I'd bet that it's something regarding the recapture of Discord. Put that moment in a more grim and realistic context than a children's show, and it becomes rather gritty and... unpleasant.

We take that last few stairs up to the dining area in silence, having managed to thoroughly murder our conversation with such a grim subject. The spell is broken, however, by the excited alabaster mare waiting for us at the top.

"Oh, excellent!" Rarity chirps as we arrive, smiling broadly. "I was wondering where you'd gone."

"We got caught up talking about the trial. Sorry." I reply sheepishly as I take another look at all the stuff she's brought in. There's two sewing machines, a pair of 'tall' mirrors that don't quite reach my head, and piles upon piles of fabric - most of which rarity wouldn't have used. It's like someone just picked-up and threw a fashion show at my dining room.

"No matter, dear." The fashionista turns away from us, looking to the dining table. "Now, your clothes are all laid out, for your consideration." A touch of apprehension enters her voice for the final three words of her sentence, as if she thinks that I'll actually reject the suit she's sewn

"I'm sure it will be spectacular." I glance at Twilight, who just shakes her head slightly at me and mouths 'later'.

I shrug at her, and then move to follow Rarity. "Okay then. So what have we got?"

"Here you are."Rarity shifts to the side, presenting me with a view of my suit for tomorrow.

The coverings are a dark - and rather pleasing - blue, while the undershirt is a nice white. There's brown shoes - still without laces - and a grey-blue necktie. Overall, I'd relate it to an expensive-looking business suit. It looks nice; formal and not garish, which was something I had worried about. Obviously, Rarity does understand that stallions - or men - look better in more simply designed clothing than the extravagant kits she created for mares.

"So what do you think, dear?" Rarity asks, a tinge of nervousness to her voice.

"I think it looks perfect," I reply promptly, trying my best to say what Rarity would want in a reply while trying to fathom why she would be even slightly nervous about my response. "The blue is a good shade, the entire thing's tastefully simple, and I'm sure that it fits like a dream."

"Would you like to try it on?" The fashionista steps towards the clothes, her horn lighting up.

"No thanks." I wave a hand for her to stop. I would try the suit on normally, but right now I really want to get back downstairs and get through the last part of my testimony. "I'm positive that you'll have the measurements right."

"Why thank you. I'd like to think so," Rarity smiles with false modesty. "I dare say it should be perfect for the proceedings tomorrow."

"I agree." I turn to Twilight, who's hanging back awkwardly. "What do you think, Twilight?"

The lavender mare quickly steps up, placing herself between me and Rarity to get a good look at my new suit.

"I think it will look very nice," she speaks after a short pause. "The colors look perfect."

"Thank you." Rarity smiles at Twilight. "It's good to know you both approve."

"Not hard to. It's a good suit." I take a step back, scratching awkwardly at my arm. I just want to get back downstairs so that me and Twilight can finish up. "But, uh... well, now we need to get the last of my testimony done."

"Oh, I understand." Rarity turns her back on the dinning table as Twilight moves to stand beside me, still glowing from our compliments. "Dear me, you've been going over that all day. You both must be dying to get it finished."

"Exactly." I shrug while Twilight replies with a vindicated 'yes'. "So... without trying to be rude, we'll leave you to it."

"Go right ahead. We can all talk more over dinner anyway." The alabaster mare smiles sweetly at the two of us. "I'll just lay these out in your room for tomorrow."

"Thanks." I nod as me and Twilight turn around and walk away, descending the stairs back to lounge.

"Okay." I glance at the lavender mare as soon as we're out of earshot. "So what was all that? Why was she acting nervous?"

"Yeah..." Twilight sighs. "Rarity's been very nervous about making clothes for you. She's worried that humans could have different ideas than ponies when it comes to fashion, and that you might hate the stuff she's producing."

"That's all?" I scoff. "Oh, that's just ridiculous. Even if I did dislike the clothes she's making, I wouldn't be too fussed. I need clothes and she provides."

"That's exactly what I said." Twilight chuckles as we disembark at the bottom of the stairs and move over to the couches. "Now then, where were we?"

I glance around the suite. Pinkie and Applejack have moved back into the kitchen - why, I have no clue, considering that they're all done with the baking - while Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have both come inside to escape the failing daylight. It's nice to have them all here.

"Keys?"

"Huh?" I turn back to Twilight. "Oh, right. I think we were going over the second part of the Gala performance."

"Are you feeling okay?" Twilight raises an eyebrow at me as we sit down on the least cluttered of the sofas. "You've been kinda distracted today."

"I'm fine," I reply quickly. And I am fine. I just keep getting distracted thinking about the trial, among other things. There's no need to explain that to Twilight, though. "You're always asking me that, you know. Let's just get this out of the way, shall we?"

"Right." Twilight nods, looking slightly concerned. "But Keys; If you ever have a problem, you can tell me about it."

"I'll keep that in mind." I smile slightly, picking up the last page I was reading before we took a break. "Now Twilight, the testimony."

"Right." Twilight grins sheepishly, before picking up her own page.

While she finds her place on the paper, I take a second to glance out the window.

The trial is tomorrow. I've got my good friend Twilight to help me, and the support of the rest of the Elements of Harmony, despite what their personal opinions of me may be. Trixie's going up against me, two Elements and a princess - and from what I hear, she's got most of Equestria against her.

It's been a long time - almost a full month, in fact - since the day that I was ripped away from everything I knew. So much work from so many ponies has gone into what tomorrow will bring. It's been so long coming, but it's actually here.

The trial is tomorrow.

And I'm ready.

Author's Note

This is a low-quality filler chapter - well, not LOW quality, but it's not exactly something I'm satisfied with. It could have been much better. Aside from the disappointing final quarter, I'm particularly bugged by the fact that there are no En Dashes, because the program I used de-formatted them and I'm out of time to do it myself.
This chapter WAS going to contain Keys playing another piece on the piano, but that'll have to wait now. Instead, I leave you with some set-up-filler-stuff that leads on directly to the trial in the next chapter. Are you all as excited for that as I am?

Now, I mentioned that I'm out of time. to clarify, you must look at this blog post about me going on holiday. Basically, I wanted to post this now, so that the quickest commentators will have 9-11 hours to comment and get a reply before I leave and go inactive for a week. There's no internet where I'm going.
So yeah. This chapter's kind of disappointing - especially when it comes to characterization and dialogue - but the next one is pretty much the money shot, so bear with me.

Get those comments in quickly, people. If there's a big problem with this rushed chapter I didn't notice during it's rabid writing, then please notify me so that I can take it down before leaving. Seriously.
And please, PLEASE don't hate me for this chapter. I know it really is boring. Next chapter's going to be good though, I promise.

Oh, and I just need to add: Before this was posted, The Piano Man: Act II had achieved 72,463 views, with 72,113 words. On a story of this scale, I consider a 1:1 or better Views-Words ratio is the ultimate validation. Of course, now I've ruined that again, but it HAD it, and that makes me happy.

The Trial

"Come in," I call in response to the quiet knock on my bedroom door, glancing in the mirror as Twilight pushes the door open and steps inside.

"Is everything okay in here?" Twilight glances at Rarity, who has been making sure that my suit fits just right. "It's nearly time to go."

"Everything's fine, dear." Rarity answers for me, smiling. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole 'Human modesty' issue."

"She's been turning around when I change." I elaborate, before adding; "Although back on Earth, it's customary to leave the room..." in a more quiet manner.

"Oh believe me, Jacob." Through the mirror I catch Rarity rolling her eyes and mouthing 'Unbelievable' to Twilight before she continues her response. "While I may not understand your need for privacy, I certainly respect it."

"Uh-huh," I grunt in reply, turning my attention from the image of her in the mirror to my own and tugging lightly at the tie around my neck. Its presence invokes memories that I'd rather leave where they are - and I doubt that I have to clarify which memories.

"Are you okay? Is your tie too tight?" Twilight asks quietly, having noticed my discomfort. "Or is it..."

"It's something else." I nod, taking a deep breath. "Don't worry. It's fine."

"You're sure?" the lavender mare creases her brow. "Do you feel unwell? Nervous? Dizzy?"

"None of the above." I sigh, waving the mare's questions away. "I'm just not that comfortable wearing a tie. Nothing to be worried about."

"Not com- oh." Twilight grimaces. "Uh... do you want to take it off?"

"It's fine." I repeat, putting a touch of conviction into my voice. "It's just a tie."

"I have to... agree, with Twilight." Rarity speaks slowly, without any conviction at all. "If you feel uncomfortable with the tie, I'd suggest that you remove it - even though doing so would absolutely ruin your outfit-" Rarity's sudden 'ourburst' is quelled by a sharp look from Twilight. "I mean; yes. You should value your comfort over your appearance."

"I'm leaving it," I deliver my ultimatum, closing the matter. "It's nothing major, and besides; it isn't a suit without a tie."

"It does suit you." Twilight notes, before both she and Rarity giggle quietly at the unintentional pun.

"Hardy-ha-ha." I mutter, looking down at my clothes. Twilight's right. My new suit fits me wonderfully, and Rarity picked the colors perfectly. It would look absolutely brilliant, if only I were a little less skinny... but that will come with time.

"Yo, you guys ready to roll?" Rainbow Dash calls from downstairs, where she and the others are waiting. "I can see the carriage!"

"Coming!" Rarity calls, putting a flutter in her voice. "Just one moment."

I adjust my tie a second time and then turn away from the mirror as the suite falls silent once more, touching at my temple to make sure that my circlet is firmly in place underneath my hair.

"Okay. I'm re- oh, Twilight." I shake my head at the mare, who immediately glances at Rarity in confusion. "Please tell me you actually slept last night."

"Uh..." Twilight smiles sheepishly while I take in the moderate shadows under her eyes. "Well, I got some sleep..."

I sigh. At least she doesn't look nearly as bad as she did the other day. "As long as you don't go kaput halfway through the trial. You said yourself that this is going to be a long day."

"I'll be fine." Twilight gives me what's best described as a look of helplessness. "I just didn't sleep well. Too nervous."

"I've managed to stop my moping." I comment as the three of us depart the room, trying to put a little 'laugh' in my voice so that it doesn't seem like I'm berating her. "So the least you can do is start sleeping properly."

Twilight has no answer for me as we cross the dining-room come tailor-store, leaving me to simply glance at Rarity, who has been awkwardly walking with us in complete silence. I'm finding it kind of odd that I've interacted with the other ponies so little. Twilight's whom I mostly 'hang out' with, followed by Rarity. Pinkie stopped by every now and then when I was in the clinic too... but the other three? I've barely talked with them at all over the past week. It's a little sad, but hey; it would have been pretty strange if we'd all just become instant best-friends.

On the note of underdeveloped friendships, I've only seen Spike a grand total of three or four times - and aside from the point where he was having to write down the story of my imprisonment (which is a pretty adult thing to subject a baby dragon to, by the way) - he's seemed pretty disinterested in me. I would have thought that he'd enjoy meeting another bipedal creature... not to mention that we're both the only representatives of our species around. Strange.

I give a little shrug, pushing the matter from my thoughts as we rejoin the others on the lower floor of my suite, where Fluttershy and Applejack are sitting patiently on the center couches. Pinkie is in the kitchen, rabidly checking that she has all the food ready for tonight, while Rainbow Dash is floating restlessly by the doorway onto the balcony. That's pretty bad foresight on Dash's part, considering that she's restless to get going - and therefore condemn herself to an entire day in even more cramped confines.

The flying carriage that will take us down to the courthouse is pretty close, only about ten seconds away from reaching the large balcony outside the window. It's drawn by four of Luna's pegasi guards, and flanked by a further two on each side. Even though the first hint of the approaching sunrise is visible over the horizon, it would appear that the Lunar Guard is still on duty. I wonder if the Solar Guard shift compensates by running into the post-sunset twilight too, or if they are simply on only when the sun itself is visible. That might be something worth learning, considering how little I know about the royal guard.

"All that security seems a little... unnecessary..." I comment, eyeing up the creepy bat-wings sported by the stallions. "What's the worry?"

"It's probably just for show," Rainbow Dash replies in that odd call of hers that sounds kind-of like she's half-shouting. "Y'know. A little flexing here and there to show the public that stuff's happening."

"That also seems unnecessary." I comment, receiving no reply. It seems more likely to me that it's a precaution against any attempts to stop us from reaching the trial.

With this discussion also effectively closed, I simply shrug and move forwards, trying not to look at the admittedly intimidating pegasi as they pull alongside the balcony.

"Good morning, Mr. Lewis," the closest guard speaks in a gravelly tone, to which I respond with a simple 'Good morning' as the carriage itself also comes to a stop.

"We'd best get moving," the guard states calmly as he reaches out with one hoof, opens the door on the side of the carriage and unfolds the stairs for me. "So if you wouldn't mind, sir."

"Right." I nod, taking a step forward and mounting the first of the small steps.

In a quick fashion we all pile into the carriage, save for Rainbow Dash, who states that she plans to fly alongside instead.

The interior is best described as elegant, and slightly plush. The walls are studded and padded with a silky red fabric that bulges out slightly from the frame, while the seats are made from wood and augmented by grey cushions. It's actually very nice, in a simple style.

I find myself sitting opposite to Pinkie, Twilight and Rarity, and sandwiched between Applejack and Fluttershy - the extreme latter-most of which looks rather fidgety. Maybe it's the menacing guards hovering just outside the window, or maybe it's... something else.

"Fluttershy, are you okay?" I whisper quietly to the pegasus, who gives a small start simply from the presence of my voice.

"Oh, yes," she replies in a voice timid and quiet enough to match my whisper. "I'm just... n-nervous."

"Of the trial?" I press quietly, now hoping to start bridging the extremely obvious gap between us.

"Y-yes." Fluttershy's voice drops to a volume so low that I can barely hear her. The very nature of her reply tells me that, one; It's not the trial, and two; I'm not going to get anywhere with this.

I sigh. "Fluttershy, once this is all done we're going to sit down and you're going to tell me why you don't want to talk to me."

"Okay," the mare squeaks so quietly and hesitantly that I'm not even sure that she's spoken.

I glance at Twilight, who just gives an almost imperceptible shrug, accompanied by a slightly less subtle shake of her head.

With a little sigh, I end my interrogation and settle back into my seat. This carriage isn't sized for humans, and I'm having to slouch in my seat so that I don't need to cock my head - and even while doing that, my head still touches the ceiling. It's not something I have any right to complain about, but after all the effort that's gone into making me comfortable, I'm surprised they sent a carriage instead of a chariot.

Just as a note; sitting in a flying carriage is wierd, and totally not what you'd expect. There's no bobbing, no swaying, nothing. If it wasn't for the startling view out the windows, you could have told me that it was on the ground and I would have believed you.

I'm still pondering this when I'm suddenly thrown through a slight loop. The image outside the window starts to rotate, while I am suddenly impacted by multiple light forces. There's the centrifugal force pushing me to the right as the carriage turns, the drop in my stomach as it descends, and the tiny force pushing me back into my seat as we accelerate. The reason this catches me off-guard is that the carriage neither banks for it's turn, nor tilts for it's descent. It's still perfectly level and stable, in a way that seems totally inappropriate for the movements it is making. This is something I've never experienced before, and while it isn't 'bad', I'd definitely tag it as feeling strange for the first moments. After that, I quickly get used to it.

I turn to look out the window as most of the ponies sitting around me break into discussion, quickly spotting our destination. It's not hard. The Canterlot Public Courthouse isn't as grand or imposing as Earth courthouses, due to fact that it's normally only used for mundane trials, but it definitely stands apart – what with it's more angular architecture, and the massive crowd of what look to be several thousand ponies standing outside...

The throng is being held back to give a reasonably sized semi-circle of space around the courthouse entrance, but even so it'll be a pain to run the media gauntlet. The only reason I can think of that we didn't just teleport inside is that we 'need' to make some sort of visual entrance, for simple publicity reasons. There might be some other reasons, I guess, but I haven't been clued-in. The only thing that's readily available at the moment is the fact that even if the trial is in closed-court, the entire thing will still be rife with ponies interested in the outcome.

'Ugh,' I sigh inside my head. 'I wish we didn't have to go through all this crap.

***

"Jesus, it's hot in here," I mutter, looking around the packed courtroom. "And loud."

We're located in the biggest courtroom the courthouses have to offer, which comes with spacious seating for the audience behind the desks for the prosecution, augmented with balcony seating that adds an extra half the ground floor's seating capacity. Today, however, the balcony has been reserved for the royal party, which comprises of Celestia and assorted members of the Equestrian government – which actually does have ranking members apart from the princesses.

The all-too-obvious reason that it's so hot in here is the dozens of ponies that managed to pile into the public seating. There are all sorts of faces among the crowd, from journalists and paparazzi vultures to members of the Wonderbolts (whom Rainbow Dash has yet to notice) to upper class Canterlot unicorns, many of which look extremely uncomfortable with their seating arrangements. There are even more ponies standing around the edges of the seating area, seemingly perfectly content to stand around all day in order to witness history in-the-making. Personally, I don't think it should be a public trial, but it doesn't seem that I have any say in the matter,

The judges haven't arrived yet, and for this reason Trixie hasn't been brought in by the guards yet either. Her family and lawyer are in place, though. The defense and prosecution are set up at desks on either side of the court – prosecution on the left and defense on the right – with enclosed seating boxes placed against their respective walls for the actual parties and their associates. In ours we have Cadance, the Elements of Harmony, Maneworthy, Detective Lockhooves, Thunder Glider and myself, while in the defense seating there are the Lulamoon parents, Trixie's sister and some other ponies I don't recognize.

I glance at the lawyers, who are all set up at their desks. They've got their papers out and their game-faces on. For the defense is the Lulamoon lawyer and a younger mare who I assume is his assistant, while the prosecution has two grey unicorns, one young and fresh-looking stallion that I was introduced to as 'Levy', along with an older and more weary-eyed mare named Raven. I don't know if multiple lawyers would be allowed in cases like this on Earth, but they appear to be allowed in Equestria.

Next, I turn my attention to the Lulamoons themselves. The family as a whole looks... haggard. Run down, for lack of a better word. Trixie's father looks like he's ready to pass out from exhaustion, and her mother looks like she's ready to cry – and despite this, she continues to frequently send me venomous glares. It's all no less pitiful and saddening than when they came and begged me to drop the charges – as if I could.

"They look awful," I murmur to Cadance, who is sitting on my left side. "I'm pretty sure that they've been trying everything they can think of to put an end to all this. By the looks of things, nothing's worked."

"I don't think anything could stop this trial before it went to court. The charges are too severe," the pink alicorn whispers back. I should add right now that she looks a lot better than when I last saw her. I'd pretty much describe her as looking how she did during the season two finale, but with a serious face to fit the circumstances. I'd dare say that despite her moral crisis following the Grand Galloping Gala, Cadance seems to have bounced back pretty well. It must not have been as serious as I thought.

A gentle touch on my right arm brings my attention to Twilight, who is situated closest to the defense table so as to have a good line of communication with them.

Rather than asking me a purposeful question, as I'd expect, the lavender mare simply gives me a slight smile. "Are you excited?"

"Uh, y-yeah." I stutter slightly, caught off-guard by casual nature of her question. "I'm just not looking forward to how long it's going to take."

The mare touches my arm again, giving me what I think is a reassuring smile. "It'll be worth it to see this all finished."

"It will." I return the smile, feeling suitably eased by Twilight's words. "So what's the most likely pun-"

A sudden gavel-slam startles me – and the rest of the courtroom – into silence, the sudden quiet layered with boundless levels of tension at what must be coming next.

The olive-coated court Bailiff stands next to the judges' podium, a magical aura enfolding both his horn and one of the three gavels sitting on the bench. His face is set in nothing less than a stern mask of professionalism as he scans the room. This is obviously a stallion that takes his job a bit too seriously... or maybe he's being extremely zealous for such an important trial. It doesn't really matter to me.

"This session of the Canterlot Supreme Court is called to order," the olive unicorn announces loudly, the aura surrounding his horn fading as he steps away from the judges' bench. "Her royal highness Princess Luna, the honorable Judge Sheckley, and the honorable Judge Griggs presiding. All rise."

The entire courtroom stands up in one loud movement as the left-hand, smaller door of the two set into the front wall opens and Luna enters the room, accompanied by two unicorns with grey coats. I want to guffaw at the fact that all three of them are wearing black judge's robes – which look completely inappropriate for Luna – but refrain from doing so. At least Luna isn't wearing one of those powdered wigs, although I can't say the same for the other two.

We remain where we are as the three slowly and poignantly file into the judges' podium and take their seats, before we reclaim our own. The podium as a whole is basically the same as the prosecution and defense boxes, except raised up from the floor and augmented by a witness box on the far right end along with a stenographers box on the left. Pretty much an elongated version of the 'standard' podium you'd find on an Earth television show.

Luna and the judges spend a few moments getting prepared – although what they're preparing is beyond me – before the princess looks up from her center position.

"Present the accused," she commands the bailiff, who in turn nods at a pair of guards flanking the double doors to the right of the judges' podium. The two guards salute in perfect union, before turning to face each other and slowly pushing the double doors open.

My breath catches in my throat as I lean forward in my seat. The number of emotions suddenly surfacing in my mind is unbelievable. Among all of those little indescribable feelings, there's also excitement, anticipation, apprehension, and a little bit of rage... but the most dominant of them all is... fear? I should have expected some irrational fear at being near her again, but I didn't think it would take root so easily. I guess I still have some pretty severe trauma. As clear-thinking as I am, that isn't stopping me from being hit by very irrational thoughts like 'Oh god, what if she attacks me again?'.

Through my peripherals I notice that Twilight and Cadance also appear to be leaning forwards in their seats. I wonder what they're thinking; how they're reacting. I can only guess at their thoughts.

The three of us - and presumably Rarity as well - continue to stare aggressively at the two doors as they swing open, revealing two creamy-white guards standing to attention on the other side...

And between them stands an azure mare with a silvery-white mane, a jagged stump for a horn and an expression of bleak hopelessness plastered across her face. She's missing her cape and hat, her mane is unkempt, and her downcast eyes look wearier than anything I've ever seen before.

The entire courtroom remains silent as the three ponies walk through the doorway and begin to move across the open space in the middle of the court, two of them marching slowly and the third plodding along in a disheartened way.

I fall back into my seat quietly, surprised at the image in front of me. I hadn't been sure what to expect from the mare's entrance. Silent defiance, open struggling, casual compliance... of all the possibilities, I had thought it least likely that she would enter so defeated. It was always a possibility, but I'd decided that it seemed so... out of keeping with who Trixie was. Looks like I was wrong.

And despite how pitiful the image is, it still fills me with disgust and loathing so intense I think I might cough up bile.

After a short interval, Cadance and then Twilight both also fall back into a normal sitting position, their faces comparable to mine. A brief movement to the right informs me that Rarity too had been leaning forward in her seat.

None of us take our eyes from the defeated mare being marched to the area for holding the accused. It's a seating area with enough space for four ponies, situated a meter further back along the wall from the defense's party, right alongside the table for the defense table. During the slow trip across Trixie keeps her eyes firmly fixed on the floor, not diverting her gaze even when Mrs. Lulamoon quietly calls her name.

The guards escort her to her seating and then take up positions on either side, which places Trixie directly opposite Twilight. She still hasn't taken her eyes off the floor.

And despite this display of complete resignation, I'm still disgusted. Every single movement she makes offends me.

The pressure of the atmosphere in the courtroom is unbearable. Nobody has spoken a single word since Trixie entered. It's Judge Sheckley that breaks the silence, as he begins to loudly read the charges.

"Trixie A. Lulamoon, you stand accused of; one count of kidnapping, one count of unlawful imprisonment, one count of criminal negligence, one count of causing grievous bodily harm with intent, four counts of assault and battery, one count of intent to commit murder, four counts of attempted murder, and one count of high treason. How does the defense plead?"

I grimace in anger as the charges are laid, with each one reminding me of a different moment of my imprisonment. My nose hasn't even set fully straight since my escape. I wonder if that can be corrected with magic.

The only thing that surprises me is that there isn't anything in there about the herbs she was taking during most of my captivity... after all, it is right there in her journal. The only reason I can think of is that maybe whatever she was taking was legal.

"My client pleads not guilty to all charges," the Lulamoon's lawyer announces immediately, not even pausing to glance at Trixie. I hadn't been entirely sure before now whether Trixie had been allowed to see her family, but it looks like she's at least met with her lawyer.

The silence of the audience is broken by a rolling wave of a murmur, although I can't fathom why. Was anyone actually expecting her to plead guilty? That wouldn't be at all fitting with the Trixie I was subjected to.

"Order!" Griggs slams his gavel, bringing silence to the hall. That seems a little unnecessary, considering that it was only a murmur. "The prosecution will now make its opening statement."

And just like that, the trial is underway; a slow countdown to Trixie's sentencing.

I sit back in my chair, staring at Trixie with as much disgust as I can muster.

We're going to be here a while.

***

I have no idea how long we've been here. It's mostly been an endless march of evidence, first from our side and then from Trixie's. The evidence from the defense was lackluster from the very beginning, and the entire process has been so monotonous that I've literally lost track of how many intermissions we've had – and I can feel a headache coming on. Someone also really needs to tell me why there are no clocks in here.

I am in dire need of a watch.

"The prosecution..." Judge Sheckley turns his gaze to the two crown prosecutors as the Lulamoon's lawyer finishes delivering his evidence and sits back down. "...is at this point asked for full statements from the plaintiffs. Do you have any to produce?"

Even as the judge is halfway through his request, I feel my headache suddenly flare. What was simply a dull throbbing being suddenly accented by a stabbing pain. At the exact same moment I become aware of the almost indescribable feeling of pressure building behind my forehead. Both sensations fade quickly, but remain present at the forefront of my mind.

I take a slow breath, wanting to turn to Twilight and tell her that something's happening, but instead finding myself unfocused and unable to concentrate past the strange pressure behind my forehead. It's exactly like when Trixie was controlling me, except this time I'm not being forced to do anything.

It instills me with an instant state of panic.

"Yes, your honor," Raven responds, her voice sounding muted and dull compared to what it should be. "The prosecution calls Jacob Lewis to the stand."

With my summoning to the witness stand comes another, even more painful flare to my headache, complete with a torturous rise in the pressure behind my forehead. This time, however, these awful sensations are accompanied by voices. They're distant, difficult to hear, and completely indistinguishable from each other... but they're there.

'Okay, something's definitely not right here. There's something in the way...'

'Just keep at it. Whatever's blocking us can't hold up. As long as he changes his testimony, everything will be fine.'

'Arwell, it's looking stressed. Keep as much pressure on as you can. We don't want it alerting anyone.'

'But he isn't moving. Won't that give us away?'

'Just keep trying. This is our only chance, and we can't stop now.'

Cadance turns to look at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Keys?" Her muted voice echoes for no apparent reason. "Are you going to testify?"

Sluggishly, I turn to look at her. The magical circlet around my head is starting to vibrate, and it's getting really hot. I can't even force myself to concentrate on Cadance's words, my mind is so clouded. It really is like being possessed by Trixie all over again, except this time I still have control; I'm just suffering a mental assault so heavy that I can't really do anything.

A hoof lands heavily on my shoulder. My mind can't recall who's sitting directly behind me in the second row, but the following voice is male.

"Hey. You okay?"

Ignoring the voice, I turn my limited focus towards standing up. I have to testify while I still can – while I still have control of my own body.

With much, much effort, I manage to lean forward and rise from my seat. It seems that almost every eye in the courtroom is on me. It must be extremely obvious that something's going very wrong at the moment. The ponies sitting around me also stand up, their faces becoming concerned.

This is very, very bad. They're trying to stop me from testifying – or change my testimony. I have to get up there before anything happens. I have to testify before they stop me. I have to speak while I still can.

"Keys?" Twilight's faint voice questions, her hoof falling lightly on my arm. "What's happening?"

"They're... tr-trying..." I manage to force the words from my mouth in a crude mumble, taking one lurching step forward as the mental assault on my mind continues. Unfortunately, there's no walking room where I'm stepping; only a stomach-high wooden barrier separating the prosecution box from the rest of the court.

With no grace whatsoever, I flop straight over the barrier, landing on my side in the open space between the judges' podium and the seating area. The action is accompanied by a collective gasp from the courtroom, which is barely audible through the haze clouding my mind.

I must testify. I have to, or else Trixie will lose the trial.

'Tarturaus! Do something! Try harder!'

'What the hay are we supposed to do?! We're blown!'

'I'm pouring as much as I can into it! What the hay is going on?!'

The soft voices whisper through my head as I lie on the cold floor, mumbling quietly and incoherently as the heat from my circlet becomes unbearable. There's shouting in the courtroom now – still dull and muted – and I can see multiple sets of hooves as the ponies from the prosecution box rush out onto the court. I'm immensely relieved to see a set of purple hooves appear in my vision as Twilight quickly moves to my location. She can help me testify.

Of course it's then, without warning, that my small circlet suddenly stops vibrating for a second, and then snaps.

Two separate pieces go flying off my head, one shooting straight upwards and the other skittering across the floor. I have no clue where they come to a stop, as my mind is immediately and brutally assaulted by the voices.

'SOMETHING'S HAPPENED. WHAT'S GOING ON?'

'NOT GOOD! IT'S SCREAMING!'

'WE'RE COMPLETELY BLOWN! BREAK OFF!'

Another moment passes before the unbearable presence in my mind disappears entirely, lifting both the fog and the pain from my thoughts in one wondrous moment. I immediately realize that I am indeed screaming; A constant shout tearing from my mouth as I rest on the wooden boards of courtroom.

The noise dies in my throat almost immediately as the voices recede, leaving me lying limp on the floor and sucking in great lungfuls of air.

There's complete silence in the courtroom for a few seconds before the audience breaks out in a mass of commentary, a blanket of noise accented by a few stallions shouting. I can't make out a word of it.

Twilight's legs shift to the side as Maneworthy appears and drops to his knees in front of me, a look of absolute horror on his face.

“Keys!” His horn lights up, gently rolling me off my side and onto my back. “What the hay just happened?!”

“Ugh...” Now having caught my breath, I raise both hands to rub at my eyes, and then my temples. It feels amazing to be back in control of my body again, despite the headache. “Three... Christ, three unicorns – I think. Hell, my head's pounding.”

“Three unicorns?” Maneworthy's face once again appears in my field of vision. “Okay, listen. Just wait a second while I check you.”

“No, no.” I raise one hand, using the other to push myself into a sitting position. “There's no time. There were three unicorns, at least. I'm sure of that much.”

A quick glance around shows that I have the entirety of the defence box around me, augmented by several guards that appear to be warding off the trial's spectators. Even as I look, the three judges begin banging their gavels and ordering everyone back to their seats.

After a brief pause, I continue. “A group of unicorns, trying to make me change my testimony. I heard their voices. One called another Arwell.”

The guards glance at each other upon hearing my words, before immediately moving away to find the perpetrators. That's fine, considering they no longer have to hold back the receding crowd of shocked ponies.

“Okay, while they do that...” Maneworthy holds up one hoof. “Let's do a basic check-up. Everything else can wait until after that. Just follow my hoof.”

“Right,” I sigh, beginning to track the doctor's appendage as he moves it from left to right-

“Your honors!” a sudden shout rings out, quieting the extreme noise levels of the room.

Maneworthy halts his examination as we all turn our attention to the source of the noise; the unsure looking Lulamoon lawyer, who is now standing on his chair in order to be seen and heard properly.

“My client would like...” The stallion glances at Trixie's parents, both of whom are still seated, and seem extremely surprised by his announcement. “...to change her plea.”

“What?” I voice my disbelief loudly as I immediately get to my feet, although nopony in the silenced room acknowledges it. Instead, I look directly at Trixie.

And for the first time in this entire Trial, she's looking straight back at me. Her eyes are sad, and her face as a whole is completely downcast. All it does is fill me with more confusion. What's going on? Did she plan for this?

“What...” the words escape my mouth a second time, albeit much quieter than before. This makes no sense. How does this help her?

“My client...” Trixie's lawyer glances at her one final time. “Pleads guilty on all counts.”

Author's Note

And there we have it. Almost the entirety of the trial gone, in a nice meaty chapter.
I'm looking forward to the speculation on this one, and I hope you all enjoy it. (I also wonder if my view-word ratio will recover from this 6,000 word hit.) Ever since Trust I worry with every new chapter that I've done something stupid, like back then.

Hopefully, that isn't the case.

Fire away.

Last Words

The courtroom falls into complete silence, no single pony daring to comment on the shocking announcement. The only one among us that doesn't look completely stunned is Luna, who – presumably along with Celestia – has refused to deviate from the professional calm the two sisters always seem to possess.

While everypony else is trying to come to grips with what was said, the cogs of my mind are practically turning in opposite directions as I try to get my head around it.

'What-the-fuck-what-the-fuck-what-the-fuck. Guilty? What does that accomplish?! What are they doing?'

The silence in the courtroom is starting to get oppressive, as Sheckley and Griggs glance at each other and then Luna. Even Pinkie seems too stunned to break the silence. (She hasn't even delivered so much as an over-exaggerated gasp.) Personally, I can't bring myself to even try to speak.

Thankfully, Luna finally breaks the silence.

"You understand..." she speaks slowly and clearly, addressing Trixie herself. "That pleading guilty subjects you to the full penalty of the law merited by your crimes, and that the nature of your plea will not be taken into account during sentencing?"

The mare looks up at Luna and nods sullenly, only now averting her eyes from me.

Luna glances at her co-judges, both of whom hesitate, and then slowly nod.

"Very well then." Luna turns back to face Trixie. "Trixie A. Lulamoon; you are hereby sentenced to indefinite imprisonment by petrification."

The courtroom erupts into a roar at Luna's decision, as what seems like the entirety of the audience begins to vindictively shout their opinions. It’s so unbelievably loud that I can’t make out any individual voice aside from the princess’s, who seems to posses an odd ability to be audible even through this storm of shouting.

Ignoring the ruckus, Luna continues to state Trixie's punishment, her speech sounding nothing like the archaic style that I've come to expect of her. "...The time of your release being set at the discretion of princesses Celestia, myself and Cadance. This punishment is to be carried out a week from today, at one hour past noon, Canterlot time. You are to remain in royal custody until this point."

The shouting in the courtroom reaches fever pitch as the crowd starts to get really riled up from the excitement, and I look up at the official seating to see Celestia sitting calmly in her chair. The only indication she's surprised at all is that her mouth is turned down slightly at the corners – rather than forming a straight neutral line – and her eyebrows are raised at the strange turn of events.

‘What the hell is going on?!’ The panicked thought rips through my mind as the two guards on either side of Trixie step up to her seating-box's barrier, stoically waiting for her to exit so that they can escort her away.

I take a slow look around the courtroom, observing the audience standing up in their seats and shouting themselves hoarse as Sheckley and Griggs furiously bang their gavels and call for order. A large group of guards have appeared from nowhere, positioning themselves both on our side of the barrier between the audience and the court-forum, and in front of the boxes for the prosecution and the defense.

Trixie’s mother is sobbing into her husband’s shoulder as the freshly convicted mare slowly rises form her seat and exits the small holding area. Without any hesitation, the two guards march her back towards the large double-doors beside the judges’ podium, whisking her from the courtroom.

Still in my clueless haze, I lean back against the prosecution box, trying to shut out the shouting storm assaulting my ears.

Twilight and Maneworthy both turn to look at me, the two of them looking just as confused as I feel.

“What’s she doing?” the doctor demands, seeming to think that I have the answer. “Keys, what the hay is going on?”

I shake my head slightly, completely confounded. “I… I have no idea.”

Twilight doesn’t question me on Trixie’s actions, instead deciding to turn her attention away from the dramatic turn and rest one hoof against my forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Dizzy?”

“Twilight,” I sigh, reaching up and removing her hoof. “I’m fine, and I think that there’s something a little more important going on.”

The mare gives me an odd look, before nodding and turning back to the judges’ podium. The audience is still throwing their well-sized shit-fit, and I have to say that the court forum looks hectic too. The entirety of the prosecution box is still standing outside our seating area, the guards are still making sure that nopony does anything stupid, and the members of the defense party are looking even more crushed than the were before. I guess it’s really starting to sink in.

I myself can’t believe it. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s over. No more than six hours in this courtroom, and we’re done. Sure, there’ll have to be some sort of secondary action if or when the meddlers are caught, but that’s completely irrelevant to what I’ve been wanting since the very beginning.

It’s really done. Trixie’s been sentenced, and in a week’s time she’ll be sealed away in the most permanent prison there is.

Slowly, my confusion and anger rolls over into happiness as a smile begins to dawn on my face. Despite the strangeness of Trixie’s actions, it seems that everything is all-but tied up. A guilty plea, a definitive sentence, and an indefinite imprisonment length.

The only question now is; why?

Why plead guilty? It has to serve some purpose. It has to further Trixie’s goal, and the only goal I can see is her freedom. She must be working some sort of angle to try and wriggle out of this.

Just as slowly as it arrived, the smile flees my face, even as I notice Cadance – who is situated only a few steps away among our small crowd – turning to look at me. She’s smiling widely, apparently extremely pleased by the turn of events.

The smile dies on her face even as I look, the alicorn apparently being spooked by my own expression. Twilight is looking away from me – so I’m unable to see her face – while Rarity’s forward half is blocked from my view by Maneworthy.

One almighty slam of Luna’s gavel silences the courtroom as the princess flexes her ‘royal muscles’, her face still not deviating from the calm detachedness I’ve come to associate with her.

“This court is adjourned,” Luna announces loudly. “All those present are reprimanded into investigative custody until those who attempted to subvert the law are identified. This matter is not up for debate.”

And despite her ultimatum, the courtroom immediately bursts out into more shouting and stamping, with now the overwhelming majority of the voices sounding outraged.

The commotion carries on for a few seconds, before a singular shout rises above them all. The reason it’s so distinguished from the others is the fact that it doesn’t originate from inside the room. Instead, it’s an echo. What is even more identifying instead of a cry of anger, it is instead one of pain.

The shout carries on for a few seconds, before quickly fading into a rumble of pain and then vanishing from audibility entirely. A second later, there comes the sound of crashing metal, accompanied by a second shout of pain that almost mimics the first. After that, there’s nothing but silence – from both the source of the distress, and the ponies within the courtroom.

'No... no, please.' I stay where I am, my face completely slack as the sounds sink in. 'She hasn't. She can't have!'

There’s a moment of complete stillness, before Shining Armor becomes the first to break the silence.

“Guards!”

***

"I can't believe it."

"I know."

"No, I mean it. I cannot fucking believe this!" I throw my hands up for what I'm sure must be the eighth or ninth time, before bringing them back down heavily on my lap. "We had her. We won, and then she just escapes anyway! What was the point to all this?!"

"The guards will find her," Twilight assures me. "And when they do, her punishment will be carried out immediately."

I shake my head slightly. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. For all we know, some supremacists could have already slipped Trixie out of the city through the sewers, or something like that. On the other hand, she could already have been discovered and cornered by the search-force. We aren't receiving very regular updates, after all.

Applejack and Rainbow took off as quickly as they could, both of them promising to find Trixie and bring her back – that was a good hour ago, at least – followed very shortly afterwards by Lockhooves, Thunder Glider, Shining Armor and half of the guards in the courtroom. After that Maneworthy ran a proper examination on me, before he, Fluttershy and Pinkie moved into another part of the courthouses so that the rest of us could share our worries in private.

And that leaves me, Twilight, Rarity and Cadance to talk and fret between ourselves. The entirety of the trial’s audience – including those in the defense box – has been detained in one of the other courtrooms while a small group of guards try to root out the trial-meddlers. I wonder what luck they'll have with that.

In the meantime the four of us are sitting in the front row of the audience pews, practically beside ourselves in our sulking. I haven't felt this upset since I was actually imprisoned myself, and that's saying something.

Honestly, Rarity seems to be the worst hit. She's been much more silent and downcast than the rest of us, not having contributed in the slightest to any of our sullen discussions. I'm not entirely sure why she's taken it that much harder than the rest of us, but she is.

I empty my lungs in one long, downcast sigh. “So if they catch her, she goes away immediately?”

“When they catch her,” Twilight replies pointedly, “Trixie will be processed for immediate punishment, so that she can't escape again.”

“They will?” I look up from the floorboards to meet Twilight's eyes. “They'll just take her to the garden and petrify her? Immediately?”

“...Y-yeah.” The stumble in Twilight's voice sends a pang through my conscience as I remember that it's her and the rest of the elements that will have to carry out the petrification. I shouldn't have said it that way. “Attacking two guards and fleeing like this voids her right to a waiting period. They'll give her a little time to see her family, and then...”

The mare trails off, and I nod slightly.

After a brief pause, I decide it's best to try and do some reassuring of my own for once.

“Are you ready for that? I can't even being to imagine what it must be like.”

“Y-yeah.” Twilight nods uncertainly. “I mean, it's something that has to be done, and no matter how hard it is to do-”

“You'd best believe we will do it!” Rarity suddenly exclaims vindictively, her head snapping up to look my in the eye. “After all the things that mare has done we can't just let her keep running around! She has to go away!”

“Uh, o-okay, Rarity.” I stumble slightly, not expecting such a venomous outburst from the previously silent fasionista. She's even angrier than I thought. “Thanks.”

“I swear by Celestia,” Rarity stands up and begins an even more unexpected oath as her voice's volume drops, although the anger to her tone stays the same. “That we will petrify that disgusting showmare for everything she's done to you, and to us.”

We all remain silent as the alabaster unicorn maintains her stance. After a few seconds it becomes apparent that she is going to stick by her outburst, rather than apologize for acting in such an unrefined way.

After a further few seconds, Rarity finally relaxes back into a normal standing position. “Now then, I believe I shall go outside for a short while. A drink of water and a little fresh air will certainly do wonders for my nerves. I'll be back momentarily.”

Twilight, Cadance and I all allow her to leave, the princess being the only one to acknowledge her with a quiet “okay”.

We wait in an awkward silence as Rarity's hoofsteps receded at a rapid pace, followed by the sound of the courtroom doors aggressively opening and then closing.

The uneasy quiet continues for only a short while longer before Cadance decides to stand up.

“I think I should go check on her. She seems... more upset than the rest of us.”

“O-oh, I can do that if you want,” Twilight offers, also standing up.

“Oh no. I'll do it.” Cadance nods at the lavender unicorn, and then at me. “I'll be back in a moment.”

“Right.” I also nod slightly as the princess turns follows Rarity out of the room.

Twilight shuffles awkwardly on her hooves as the princess leaves, drawing my attention. She looks uncomfortable – although that might just be her general distress coupled with the surrealism of the situation.

“You look uncomfortable.” I raise one eyebrow as I turn my head slightly to look at her.

“Yeah, I-I'm just thinking.” Twilight averts her gaze, looking towards the back of the courtroom. “It's been a big day.”

“Mmm-hmm.” I grunt in reply, biting on the urge to deliver one of numerous sarcastic responses floating around my head. “I swear, if they don't find her...” I leave the sentence unfinished, not even having thought up an adequate conclusion for it.

“Uh, yeah.” Twilight raises one hoof to rub at the back of her neck, seeming reluctant to sit down. “Hey – uh – Keys?”

“Yes?” I turn my head to properly face Twilight now, resting my chin on one hand.

“After all that's happened, I-I can't imagine what you must be feeling...” Twilight once again refuses to meet my gaze, seeming to become even more skittish by the second. “...Would you like a little time to yourself?”

“No, it's...” I pause mid-sentence. I don't really need any time to myself – if anything, I'd prefer to have someone to talk to – but it suddenly hits me that Twilight's probably asking this question for her own reasons. She's definitely acting like she could use some time on her own (although What she really looks like she needs is a good nap).

“Uhh... actually, yeah.” I cough quietly. “That'd be good.”

“Right, right.” Twilight nods quickly. “So I'll just – uh – leave you with your thoughts for a little while, okay? I'll be right back.”

“Cool.” I nod slightly, tracking the mare with my eyes as she quickly turns and walks away, moving at a pace that I'd label as 'slightly slower than a trot'.

I listen patiently for the sound of the door opening and closing, before leaning forward over my legs and hanging my head. This day has been too full of bullshit for me to question her behavior right now.

I stay where I am, sulking in my gloomy silence. This is impossible to put up with. In fact, it could – and should – have been avoided entirely. Trixie should have been shackled; there should have been more control of the situation; there especially should have been more guards to escort her. She escaped by hitting her two escorts in their genitals, for Christ’s sake! If there'd been four – maybe even just three – she would have been much less likely to get away.

I know it’s easy to sit here and criticize the work of others, but those are some glaringly obvious issues that should have been addressed. Whoever was in charge of security screwed up, be it Lockhooves, Shining Armor, or even the princesses themselves.

I perk up slightly as a set of slow, loud hoofsteps reach my ears. It’s odd, considering I didn’t hear the courtroom doors open.

Too odd. I’m not stupid enough to sit here while something like that goes unexplained, considering what’s happened.

I quickly rise out of my seat, turning to look at whoever is in the courtroom.

The unexpected intruder has a blue coat, silver mane and the cutie-mark of a wand with five-pointed star for its head. Her head is turned down entirely, allowing her mane to hang in her face as she walks up the aisle in that extremely slow fashion. She has no horn, and I know that hiding underneath her mane is nothing but a jagged stump.

“No...” I stare at her for a moment, not daring to believe that she's here, alone with me; Nobody to hold her at bay. “Trixie...”

The mare stops walking at the mention of her name, coming to a halt halfway between me and the door. Her eyes remain glued to the floor, while mine remain fixed on her. We remain at our tense – and unconventional – stand-off for a further few seconds, before Trixie raises her head.

She's torturous in her slowness, but eventually her face becomes visible behind the strands of her hair. The blue unicorn has that same hopeless expression from before on her face, but now there's something else; her eyes are bloodshot, as if she's been crying.

The two of us stare at each other for two more seconds, before the desolate mare finally opens her mouth.

“Jacob.” Trixie's uncertain words send a slight chill down my spine. I apparently can't even properly tolerate her talking to me now.

“...Trixie.” I return the 'greeting', my voice instead layered with disgust and anger.

The mare visibly cringes at my response, taking a half step back. I have no idea what game she's playing here, but I refuse to fall for it.

“You know it's over, don't you?” I demand angrily. “You know that you can't outrun them all, right?”

Trixie nods slowly, seeming unaffected by my hateful tone.

“Then why run?!” I should really be calling for help right now, but I can't stop myself from questioning the mare first. I need answers. “Why try and escape, and why come back here?!”

I'm fully aware that I'm in at least some danger here. The jagged edges of Trixie's stump could still badly injure me, and I'm sure that quite a few ponies wouldn't find it that hard to beat me down in a straight fight. That said; as long as I keep a few meters between us, I should have some reaction time to shout for help if she tries anything.

Now I need to wonder about the question I've just asked; Why did she come back? The most obvious answer is definitely that she wants to finish what she started.

“I wanted... to talk to you,” the mare replies quietly. “...and just say a few things before they punish me.”

I raise one eyebrow at the mare, the corners of my mouth pulling down in a frown. That wasn't the first reason that jumped into my mind, although it was there. I'd just thought it to be very unlikely.

“About what?” I spit the words out angrily. “What the hell makes you think that I'll even listen to you?”

Trixie brings her eyes to lock with mine, seeming reluctant to actually speak despite the fact that we both know the answer.

I haven't called for the guards yet, and we're both well aware of that; so why does she refuse to say it?

I meet her eyes for a few seconds, before dropping my gaze down to her hooves. “Okay, what? What do you want?”

“I-”

“And I swear to god that if you try anything...” I bring my eyes back up sharply as I cut her off, bunching my hands into fists. “I will kill you.”

Rather than begin another period of extended eye-contact, Trixie simply looks down and nods. “I would let you.”

I do a sudden double take, moving back a half-step. What she just said is so completely 'un-Trixie-like' that it's startling. The monster that enslaved me for a month would have never, ever said anything like that.

What the hell is happening? This has to be some sort of sympathy ploy.

"Just tell me what you want to say."

She looks at me for a second, an uncertain look on her face. “I just wanted... I...”

I raise one eyebrow, the resulting image probably looking comical when coupled with the my deep scowl. “Just say it.”

Trixie's mouth tugs at the beginnings of a frown, but she doesn't say anything. I'm once again struck by how different she's behaving, and I'm not sure what to think about that.

"I told my family not to intervene. I told them to leave it. Obviously, they didn't listen to me."

I shake my head slowly. It's a pretty obvious lie; their plan to undermine the worst of the charges failed, and now Trixie's trying to appeal directly to me to try and get my sympathy.

Not acknowledging my silent disapproval, the mare presses on in that same quiet voice.

"I-I'd hoped to contest some of the lesser charges and get them dropped. Then I might have been able to get away with imprisonment or – if I was lucky – exile; anything to avoid petrification. It looks like my family decided that they'd try and help, no matter how much I told them not to."

"If you're so desperate to avoid being petrified..." I crease my eyebrows at Trixie as I launch my first attack on her claim. "...then why plead guilty? And why escape?"

"Because the damage was done the moment somepony tried to tamper with the trial," the showmare replies quietly. “After that, there was no way the judges would sentence me to anything less.”

“Then why escape?!” I snap loudly, an action that makes Trixie recoil slightly. “And why come back?! If you were completely screwed, why would you make a run for it, even though you know you can't escape the entire Canterlot guard?!”

“Because,” Trixie's expression suddenly morphs into one of hatred, forcing me to take a step back as I'm suddenly hit by a wave of fear. “Then my parents will stop pulling stupid, bucking tricks like earlier!”

Almost immediately following her outburst the mare takes a full step backwards, turning away from me and raising one hoof to cover her face. “No, no; why does that happen? Why do you make me so angry?”

I take another step back, now convinced that whatever else she has to say isn't worth the risk. After a brief hesitation, I open my mouth to call for help.

“No, wait!” Trixie turns back to me, raising one hoof. “Please, just let me finish and then I'll let them take me! Just let me say one thing!”

The beginning of the shout catches in my throat as I hesitate. 'Don't fall for it. She can't be trusted. Just one shout and you'll be safe.'

I stare at Trixie for five long seconds, before taking another step back and raising my hands in front of me defensively. “Make it quick. Make it very quick.” The tension and uncertainty of the situation makes my voice waver, and I'm still sorely tempted to start screaming right now. There's no way I can put any trust in this madmare.

She nods at me quickly, and then starts talking.

“I just want you to know that I never planned to kill you. If it wasn't for that herb I wouldn't have even considered it.” The now distressed-looking unicorn turns her head to stare down at her hooves. “Every morning I woke up and thought about the things I'd done, and I just couldn't deal with it. All I could do was take some more of the herb to stop myself from thinking about it. What was worse was that... that damn herb made me have ideas that I never would have even considered had I been lucid.”

“Hurry up!” I bark, taking a further step back to put distance between myself and Trixie. The mare herself seems to give a slight shiver at my words, but retains her composure.

“I'm just trying to say...” Trixie raises one hoof to her head – why, I don't know. “...is that, had I not been taking that herb, I would never have even considered... taking your life. I made many, many bad decisions... and I thought you should know that before they petrify me.”

I nod slightly, looking at Trixie critically for a few seconds before replying.

“That is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard.” I snap violently, scowling once more. “You expect me to believe that you made all those decisions because of a damn herb; that every, last decision you made over those three weeks was because of some bloody plant that barely even made you act differently?!"

Trixie turns her eyes down to the floor yet again, hiding her face from me. "I didn't expect you to believe-"

"Good, because I don't!" I cut her off, now taking a step forward. "You've just fed me so much bullshit that I can barely make sense of it! What you've said doesn't even make sense, and there's absolutely no reason that I should believe you!"

"I know."

"Then why go to all this trouble?!" I raise both arms, unable to understand the logic behind Trixie's ploy. "What the hell do you want to get out of all this?"

At first, the mare doesn't respond. She simply hangs her head, being completely silent.

And at first, I myself stay quiet, waiting for her to reply. It's only after five seconds that I snap yet again.

"Well?!"

Trixie shudders at my demand, before slowly bringing her head back up. The very first thing I notice is that she now has tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She's on the verge of tears.

"Because..." the mare begins unsteadily. "...a-at least you still know the truth, even if you don't believe it."

I glare at her for a second, before shaking my head. "No, I don't believe you - and your crying routine isn't working either." I scowl as deeply as I can manage, creasing my eyebrows into deep 'v' shapes. "Now; give me one good reason that I shouldn't start shouting for help right now."

Trixie holds my stare for a moment more, before shaking her head as well.

"There aren't any. Please, just do it. I've said what I needed to."

Almost as soon as the words leave her mouth, I open mine, filling my lungs. It's there that I pause, daring her to make that one last attempt to save herself that I know she'll make.

To my surprise, she doesn't do anything; so with a single shrug I let rip.

"Help! She's here! Help!"

I take two steps back the moment the words leave my lips, fixing Trixie with an expectant gaze. “Your move.”

The mare simply looks back at me, her face retaining that same look of desolateness she had when this confrontation first began. I myself stay where I am, waiting tensely for her to jump at me, or make a break for it, or something.

I don't relax as Trixie calmly sits down.

I don't relax as the courtroom doors burst open and four guards rush into the room.

I don't relax as they tackle Trixie to the ground, pinning her legs so that she can't move.

I don't relax as they place cuffs on her hooves and drag her away.

It's only when the guards and their prisoner pass through the open doorway and Twilight comes galloping into the room that I start to consider the possibility that there is no ruse.

***

“We, on this day and under the supervision of their royal highness’s; Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Princess Cadance; Captain Shining Armor; and the collective bearers of the Elements of Harmony...” the same stallion that served as the bailiff for the trial calmly reads from a small scroll. “...are here to bear witness to the punishment of the convicted Trixie A. Lulamoon, who is to be petrified for an indefinite period of time and released at the discretion of the Equestrian Royal Courts.”

The stallion clears his throat for the third time in two minutes, before continuing in his proclamation. “In attendance is; the immediate family and close relations of the convicted, the primary plaintiff – Jacob Lewis – Doctor Arthur Maneworthy, and Detective Samantha Lockhooves. All the present parties have signed their statements of witness.”

I wait calmly as the stallion works his way through the legal mess surrounding a fast-tracked petrification, not once letting my eyes stray from Trixie.

We're in the gardens, arranged in front of an empty stone podium. On the left-hand side there's... well, everybody but Trixie's family, while on the right side is... Trixie's family.

They're in an awful way. Both Trixie's sister and her mother are openly weeping, while her father is – without any subtlety – covering his eyes. As a whole, they're even beyond the point of shooting me vicious looks.

There's about two-dozen guards present, with over half of them arranged in a circle around the area. There are four more guards standing to attention at each corner of the podium, and another eight assigned to make sure none of the audience members do anything stupid. I should also mention that the ceremony has been closed to the public, which is a relief.

The Ponyville ponies are strung out in front of the podium, forming a perfect semi-circle. Each one of them is adorned with their respective element, and all six look deadly serious – including Pinkie. The only one that doesn't look completely ready is Fluttershy, who instead is nervous and fidgety.

I wouldn't have expected anything else.

And finally, there's Trixie herself. She's standing on the top of the podium, her back and legs straight, her eyes looking completely empty. Per her request, she was allowed to wear her favorite hat and cape, which I suppose will at least make for an interesting statue.

She isn't looking at anyone. Not me, not the princesses, and not her family. She's simply staring off into space, keeping her face as neutral as possible. God knows what kind of inner turmoil she's fighting through right now

I'm standing by my own decision. Trixie's story is nothing but a big fat load of nonsensical bullshit that she pulled out of her ass to try and garner my sympathy – most likely in some extended plot to duck out on her punishment. Well, she's getting nothing from me. This is what's right. This is what she deserves.

"...now, before the sentence is carried out, I would like to give the convicted a chance to speak." The Bailiff rolls up his paper and turns to face Trixie, as does every member of the small audience that didn't already have their eyes set on her.

Trixie immediately opens her mouth to speak, but then pauses, closes her mouth, and shakes her head. I guess she's already said her last words.

After a brief moment of silence broken only by Mrs. Lulamoon's choked sobs, the bailiff nods and turns to Princess Celestia.

The white alicorn also nods, closing her eyes and frowning sadly. "Very well then. Let it be done."

With her words, the Elements of Harmony - by which I mean the golden artifacts – begin to glow with a bright light. That's the biggest detail I can make out from my position at the back of the scene, but what I do notice is that Trixie flinches at their activation, before immediately retaking her stance. Not once does she look at me, or her family, or anyone else present. All she does is continue to stare off into the distance.

There's a brief whine from the magical artifacts as they charge up, the tone quickly rising in pitch before disappearing sharply. What happens next is slightly different to how I remember it from the show.

Two streams of white 'light' – which I imagine is just some form of magical energy – erupt from Twilight's tiara, both of which quickly connect with the others. Once they're all linked up, the artifacts themselves give off what I can only describe as a pulse, before each of them emit another beam of white light aimed directly at Trixie. The mare recoils back as the six beams of light hit her, before quickly resuming her standing position. Aside from that, nothing changes.

There's a single white flash that momentarily blinds me, and when my vision clears a few seconds later only two things have changed. The white beams of light and auras surrounding the Elements have disappeared, and Trixie has been turned to stone.

That's it. There was no super-dramatic build up, nopony was lifted into the air for the ritual, and the petrification process wasn't drawn out. One simple flash and the mare is a statue, unlike when Discord was resealed. The only difference in her actual appearance is that the very edge of her cape is slightly perked up as if it has just been hit by a slight gust of wind, and her front-right hoof is raised slightly off the podium surface.

Just like that, it's over. Trixie is sealed away in her stone prison, possibly forever.

After a brief pause the mare's mother breaks out into open wails of despair, accompanied by a despondent shaking of Mr. Lulamoon's shoulders. They've completely lost their composure.

I myself calmly stare at the entire scene for a few seconds more, before smiling, turning, and slowly walking away.

Author's Note

And there it is; the scene that everybody's been waiting for. All that's left after this is the two-part epilogue, in which I'll be tying up a few loose ends.

Now, before anyone starts asking: No, I will not be clarifying on what Trixie said. Whether what she said was an honest statement or just one final, desperate ploy is entirely up to the interpretation of the reader.

I also know that some of the driving actions in this chapter might not make much sense at a glance, or even seem completely contrived, so feel free to point them out. All I'll say is that - unless there's a couple that I'm missing - they all have actual roots in the narrative that will be explained soon.
And of course, don't forget to point out mistakes. This Chapter was a bit more difficult to proof-read.

P.S. I decided to leave out the entire description of Trixie's cutie-mark, as I realized that it would be too complicated and narrative-hindering to describe its background. Rest assured that it is Trixie. There's also a few details I decided to omit from Keys thoughts at the end for the sake of the scene itself. Basically he was just reasoning out how he thought it was very unlikely that Equestria would have any herb that would do what Trixie said it did.

Okay, this has been a huge worry for the readers, so I've decided to include a groundless Word of God handwave regarding Trixie's petrification that will not be included in the story at any point.

The reason that Discord was aware during his internment was due to his unimaginably large magical reservoir. A standard pony does not have the magical reserves to remain aware during their imprisonment.

So... yeah. Hopefully with that little extra piece of information you can all rest easy.

Epilogue: Part 1 - Afterparty

There's something fantastic about having lunch with nobility - or maybe it's only so amazing because Celestia is the way she is.

When Twilight had first mentioned that the Princess was going to treat us with an official 'late lunch' in celebration of Trixie's imprisonment, the first thought in my mind was that of a stifling swamp of self-promoting conversations from the Canterlot nobility and – with a little bad luck on my part – a possible meeting with Prince Blueblood. I'd hoped for Celestia to at the very least be friendly throughout it, but had been completely gobsmacked by the level of casualness she expressed. The entire thing was definitely not what I'd expected.

Celestia was by no means immature or juvenile, and she didn't spend her time making childish remarks or pulling petty practical jokes on her guests; instead she retained a specific minimum of formality, and behaved extremely amicably, spending quite a bit of time talking with me as if our altercation a few nights ago had never happened - and if she was willing to forget all of that, I was more than happy to follow suit.

Likewise, the Canterlot nobility were not the picture-perfect examples of snobbishness that I had expected. They behaved with considerably more formality than Celestia, but were still fairly friendly with each other. From my position I could see that some of the conversations they had were genuinely cheerful, while others were completely fake. It was completely comparable to what I'd imagine for a human medieval court, although with general friendliness being considerably more abundant.

As I said, I spent a large portion of the lunch speaking with the Princess Celestia, often with Twilight also partaking. I was seated to Celestia's right, with Twilight at the position beyond me and Cadance on the Princess's left; in Luna's seat. (The blue alicorn in question wasn't at the feast, considering the awful image it would have created if one of the judges at Trixie's trial had been present at the lunch celebrating her imprisonment.)

Some of the first words I uttered after we were seated was an apology to Twilight, whose position at Celestia's side I had definitely usurped. The lavender mare simply laughed, and told me to stop apologizing for things. I'd expected her response, but was surprised by the fact that she was prepared to laugh so soon after performing a task as grim as petrification.

So – in short – we ate and socialized with the nobility for the better part of an hour, followed by us going into a private lounge with Celestia for another hour and a half to talk about what's coming soon.

First up there was the matter of the meddlers in the trial, one of whom had been caught. (He'd been the only pony to answer to the name 'Arwell'.) The Lulamoons are under watch too, and there's an entire squad of guards waiting to move in and begin the questioning process once they've been given enough time to grieve, which I understand to be about five days. After everything that's happened, I'm willing to grant that.

And... well, that's pretty much it. Celestia took her leave at four o'clock to go and talk with Luna – whose position as the lead judge during the trial is something I very much want to discuss with Twilight – which left us with three hours to kill before heading back to the suite for the party.

Pinkie went back to the suite immediately to start setting things up – although I have absolutely no idea what could take three hours to set up, considering the food is all ready. Knowing her, it's probably something ridiculous – like a bank of party-cannons arranged on the balcony.

The rest of us spent most of our time walking around the palace, engaging in one long, pleasant group conversation. Maneworthy and Lockhooves excused themselves close to five o'clock for their own reasons, followed by Thunder Glider a half hour later (he's pretty good company, although he has a bad habit of steering the conversation towards his experiences while serving in the guard). Cadance and Shining hung around for a while longer, before also leaving to have some time to rest before the party. This of course left me and the Elements-sans-Pinkie to finish up our conversation with a leisurely stroll towards my suite in the southwest wing.

And that leaves us where we are now; the nine of us all making our slow way up the spiral staircase to my suite. Our pace is so slow because – for some reason – everypony thought it would be a good idea for me to go first, and I'm making sure I don't tire myself out. Some parts of me are getting better. Other parts are taking their time.

After almost two minutes, we find ourselves standing in an awkward train leading up the stairs. Rarity, Applejack and I are positioned on the landing for my suite while the others stand patiently on the stairs of the spiral staircase, choosing to wait rather than crowd us all into the small space.

In short order, I've caught my breath and regained my composure, leaving me to wait as Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy file up onto the platform.

“Uhh... so I suppose it's time to go inside,” I mumble awkwardly, my gaze flitting from pony to pony.

“'Yup.” Applejack nods cheerfully as I try the door, finding it to still be locked.

"Huh." I fish my keys out of my pocket and insert them into the door. Somepony needs to remind me why I need to lock my suite; I doubt anypony trusted enough to be inside the palace would be planning to raid my apartment.

A second thought I have is that Pinkie has both kept the door to my apartment locked, and somehow gotten inside without a key. Neither of those things are very surprising, although with the door locked I'm surprised there aren't any guests that arrived early waiting outside (not that I even know who's invited to the party anyway).

With a slight turn of my wrist, the tumbler in the door lets out a loud, satisfying 'thunk' as it retracts the thick bolt. I smile slightly at the sound before pushing the door open, revealing my pitch-black suite.

“You've got to be kidding me.” I produce an overdone sigh as I peer into the darkened space, hiding the slight smile on my face from the light of the landing.”What's the point in-”

“Surprise!”

I flinch back slightly as my ears are brutalized by a deafeningly loud group-shout. My light smile breaks into a grin at the collective cry as the lights come on, revealing that my apartment has been turned into a sea of multicolored equines, the thronging mass taking up most of my ground floor. Pinkie is - of course - positioned at the very front, a freakishly large grin plastered across her face.

“Really? A surprise party?” I raise one eyebrow at the mare, who snorts happily.

“I just like to shout 'surprise!'” The party-pony's grin turns sheepish. “I mean come on; it's so fun!”

“Of course.” I shake my head slightly, before turning back to the collection of roughly forty ponies. I have no idea what to say to them all – especially considering that I don't recognize most of them. There's Maneworthy and a heavily pregnant mare that could only be his wife, Light Wing, along with Thunder Glider, Lockhooves, and Princess Celestia of all ponies, flanked on her right side by Shining and Cadance (all three of which look very happy). I also think that a few of the ponies here might have been present when we went back to the royal theater and gave my statement.

I'm still staring out at the large group of ponies – who are all waiting patiently for me to speak – when a set of paper cards float into my view, both of them enveloped in Twilight's magical aura.

“Cue-cards? Really?” I sigh, gently plucking them from the air as I turn to give Twilight an exasperated look. The mare herself only smiles slightly.

Shaking my head again, I turn back to the party guests, my own smile returning with an embarrassed edge. “Uhh... well, I was just handed some cue-cards to use at the surprise party I knew was happening, so that's... surprising.”

Half of the crowd laughs politely at my extremely feeble joke, causing me to frown and shake my head a third time, before looking down at the cards. They aren't anything amazing; just a few pointers along the lines of 'thank the guests for coming' and 'mention winning the trial'.

Deciding to simply go with it, I allow a light smile to come to my face, stepping forward so that I'm in better view of the ponies towards the far side of the room. 'Keep it short. Don't be a bore. Be humble. Smile. Don't stutter.'

“Uhh... well, thanks for the big turn-out,” I begin lamely, slightly irritated I didn't open with something more interesting. “And thanks for all the support during the trial.”

A few of the more boisterous ponies in the room give out shouts of victory at my words while I quickly decide on what to say next.

“And... I'm a little ashamed to say that I don't recognize too many faces here tonight. There's Doctor Arthur Maneworthy, without whom I wouldn't be here-” A large portion of the crowd cheers loudly for the poor stallion, who immediately smiles nervously and shies away from the attention. “-along with his wife, Light Wing, who is expecting... what I believe to be their first foal.” A second cheer rings out, this one comprised of mostly female voices. I simply give a little snort of amusement and move on.

“I also see a few royal investigators and – most importantly – Detective Samantha Lockhooves, the mare who organized and spearheaded the royal investigation. Without her, there wouldn't have even been a trial.” My words prompt a third cheer, although this one has far less participants than the first two – an observation that prompts me to recall the story of the unsung hero (which is ironic, considering the fact that I myself glossed over the individual investigators). Lockhooves, for her part, simply smiles slightly and nods.

This speech is starting to get far too cheesy for my tastes, although it doesn't seem like anybody cares. My own issue is that I've already started it this way, and I can't just stop pointing out the ponies who helped me. I suppose it's better to just hurry up and get it out of the way.

“There's also Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her husband, Captain Shining Armor. If it wasn't for the former, I wouldn't have been freed at all.” There's another round of cheering, this one on par with that given to Maneworthy. Both Cadance and Shining weather it with royal grace.

"I couldn't possibly forget my friends from Ponyville, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony..." I glance behind me at the five mares as the crowd gives their obligatory cheer yet again, although I don't look long enough to actually see their reactions. "...Who have given up a very large amount of their time to look after me."

“And finally, Princess Celestia.” The mere mention of the Alicorn's name prompts another round of cheering and multiple bows from some members of the audience. “...Who has been more than accommodating of my many needs, and has provided me with almost everything I've needed to live comfortably.”

The princess's only response to my praise (and the second round of cheering) is to give a polite – and slightly smug, if you ask me – smile. I myself nod slightly, now fed up with my own corny speech and the audience's ceaseless cheering.

“And... I think I'll leave at that. This speech is bad enough as it is.” I chuckle slightly at myself, although nopony else does. “So, with that all out of the way; have fun.”

One final, lack-luster wave of cheering rolls through the room, before the large crowd dissolves into a slightly less-dense mass of conversation groups. I myself turn back to the group of ponies standing by the door, a bemused look on my face.

“Hmm... that could have gone better. Anyway, I thought this was meant to be a small party.” I give an emphasized – and slightly forced – chuckle as I calmly walk the two steps back to them.

“Well, we thought...” Applejack smirks. “...That ya might like a more int'restin' shin-dig... but if ya don' like it, then I s'pose we c'n ask all these nice folk to leave.”

I make a big show of glancing back at the party-goers and pretending to think about the proposal intently, and then shake my head. “Nah. I like it.”

“Well then, if you two are done horsing around-” Rarity begins to voice her somewhat comically worded opinion, before falling silent as her eyes focus on something over my shoulder. “Wait, is that... no, it can't be.”

“Uhh...” I turn to look over my shoulder, trying to pick out a recognizable face from the group of ponies I think the fashionista has been distracted by. “What-”

“One moment, please.” Rarity trots past me, making a bee-line for the group.

“...Okay then...” I blink twice, before turning back to the others. “Anyway, maybe we should just split up, you know; go and have some fun.”

“You don't have to tell me twice.” Rainbow Dash is – of course - the first to break off, unfurling her wings and raising herself to a hover. “I heard that Spitfire was coming! Maybe she's upstairs.”

“Good luck with that,” I respond in a deadpan monotone as Applejack also trots away, her path looking to come within attack range of the snack buffet. This of course leaves me to stand awkwardly with Twilight and Fluttershy, the later of whom already looks both extremely uncomfortable and sheepish.

I give the yellow Pegasus a rather sympathetic look. To me, it's starting to seem most likely that her shyness around me is simply 'stranger shyness', (Which wouldn't have been helped by the fact that one of the first things I ever said in her presence was a very loud swear). The way she acts doesn't seem reproachful, particularly fearful, or affectionate, so that's the answer I'm left with. I mean, she could be afraid of me for any reason, but for a pony in her line of work, I find that unlikely.

“It's okay, Fluttershy.” I roll my eyes at Twilight, who grimaces uncomfortably at the exchange. “You can go.”

“Th-thank you,” the mare replies quietly in that adorable way of hers, before sedately walking away with her head down.

I twiddle my thumbs awkwardly as Fluttershy makes her graceful exit, before finally looking back to the only remaining pony; Twilight.

“So, I take it you'll...” I crease my forehead briefly, trying to think of any alternative actions the mare would take to her usual M.O. “...go and talk with Celestia about the trial, right?”

“Actually, I'm fine to just stay here and talk for a while.” Twilight gives me a pleasant smile, while I myself simply raise an eyebrow. Like so many other things in Equestria, I wasn't expecting that. “I don't need to talk with the Princess right away.”

“Uh... fair enough.” I wait a few more seconds before relaxing my eyebrow. “Anything in particular you want to talk about.”

“Nope.” Twilight and I begin slowly walking away from the door, taking us towards the heart of the party. “All the important stuff is a little too heavy for party chatter, so small-talk is fine. We don't seem to do that much anyway.”

“Actually, before we get to enthralled in just enjoying the party...” I trail off for a second as I note that the now notably thinned-out crowd readily parts in front of us. I'm going to make a blind guess and say that my being twice as tall as them all has something to do with that. “...I think that I should really, really take a moment to properly thank you. Now seems like an appropriate time to.”

I stop walking while I speak, as does Twilight. She doesn't say anything, although she does look at me bemusedly.

“To be frank, Twilight; you've helped me to an insane degree since I've arrived here.” I feel a slight flush at the embarrassing cheesiness of my words. This is even worse than my speech. “From freeing me at the Gala, to showing me around, and even putting that racist store-owner in his place.”

“Oh, that's fine.” Twilight smiles again, also looking a little embarrassed.

“And you should know that – as far as I'm concerned – that's all been absolutely amazing.” I smile slightly as the mare's embarrassed expression worsens. “The only bad part is that I have no idea how to make it up to you.”

“Well...” Twilight's blush fades as she considers my words. She remains silent for a few seconds, before frowning and turning to look at me again. “...how about a song?”

I give a little snort, amused. “A song? Really?”

“I-if you don't want to, that's fine.” Twilight immediately retracts her request, shaking her head from side to side.

“Twilight, it's okay.” I snort again, although this time it's closer to a chuckle than a snort. “I'd love to. Hell, I haven't been playing much piano at all lately; it's just been a long time since someone's actually requested that I play.”

“Oh.” Twilight frowns uncertainly, clearly not understanding what I find so amusing about her asking me to play. It's not like she could; all I find amusing is that I used to get requests all the time on earth, especially when I was still a student. In a weird way, it's actually a little nostalgic to get a request again.

“Any particular piece?” I glance over to the piano, noticing that a few of the closest ponies to us have stopped talking to listen. It's a pointless question, really. Twilight hasn't heard that many songs from me, so she doesn't have a very broad range to choose from.”

“Uhh... no.” Twilight's frown deepens as she briefly considers her options. “But I'd prefer something... cheerful – or at least not sad.”

“Fair enough,” I reply promptly. I didn't play many – if any – happy songs during my Equestrian Tour. “I think I know a good piece.”

“Alright,” One of the ponies around us comments quietly to a friend, eliciting a brief glance from me.

“Come on.” I beckon to Twilight with one hand as I take a few steps towards the snow-white grand piano that occupies the left side of the lounge.

With very little ceremony, I cross through the crowd and sit down at the instrument, lifting the fallboard to reveal the keys. I have no intention of taking a poll on who'd like to hear me play. All modesty aside, I'm going to guess almost everypony present would enjoy the experience; and it's my apartment anyway. (Well, Celestia's, if you want to be finicky.)

I wait patiently for Twilight to take up a spot near the piano and for a few loud hushing noises from several different ponies to silence the crowd, and then start to play my song of choice; Chopin's Second Nocturne, Opus 9.

It's a wonderful, beautiful song, which makes sense as being one of Chopin's more popular pieces. I think that its reflective 'Half cheerful, half regretful' tone is perfect to round off the day... even if it doesn't quite match up with Twilight's request. I suppose that's why I referred to it as 'good' instead of 'perfect'.

As I play, I tune-out the quiet murmuring of the ponies clustered around the five-centimeter-high podium raising the piano from the carpet. I've never been one to be thrown off by some noise, but I've been getting badly out-of-practice with a large number of my pieces, and I'd rather not mess up in front off so many ponies – especially not the princesses.

As usual, my playing gives me a moment to myself to think, even if I'm focusing on not messing up the song. Tonight, I briefly wonder why so many strangers were invited. It makes for a nice atmosphere, sure, the issue is that now I'm going to spend most of the night listening to different names that I'll never remember. I suppose that's just the celebrity 'thing'.

Realizing that I'm losing too much focus, I pull my undivided attention back to the piano keys. And so I manage to play through the whole song, finishing a full five minutes later to a round of mostly dignified applause from my listeners. After allowing a few seconds for the final notes to fade out I lower the fallboard and stand up, turning back to Twilight.

“That was beautiful,” the lavender unicorn compliments me. “Although not quite as cheerful as I'd hoped.”

“I'll play you a nice rag-time song later, if that'll please you, ” I assure the mare, glancing around us as the listeners start to break up again. “Just promise that you won't try and claim that I've paid you back.”

“I won't,” Twilight exclaims exasperatedly, clearly unimpressed with my assumption.

The party guests, who were starting to congregate around piano, again fracture back into their conversation groups as I mentally shy away from Twilight's disapproval. It looks like I finally broke that ever-present mindset of hers that I'm a do-no-wrong guy.

After another few seconds, Twilight relents in her drawn out disapproving look – which I imagine she only carried on with so long as to make it start seeming a little less sincere and a little more humorous – and takes a long look around the bottom floor of my suite.

“I suppose it's time to go and mingle,” she speaks a little bitterly, almost lamenting the fact.

“I guess so.” I choose to ignore her sudden reluctance. If I may be a little selfish, I'd rather just enjoy the party right now than worry about Twilight's social issues. “We can chat after that party's over.”

“Alright then,” Twilight responds quietly as we unceremoniously part ways, heading off to socialize with the other guests.

This should be fun. As I've said before; I don't get to talk to many ponies in my current situation.

***

"Keys, if I may have a word," Celestia speaks softly, taking advantage of the break in my conversation.

"Oh, of course." I turn away from Maneworthy and Light Wing, both of whom hurriedly and quietly excuse themselves. “Is something wrong?”

“Not as such, no.” Celestia shakes her head and turns towards the exit out onto the terrace. “Come, I'd prefer someplace quiet to discuss this.”

“Of course, your highness.” I obediently follow the alicorn out onto the balcony, now considerably intrigued.

I allow myself a slight shiver as we emerge into the crisp night air and move over to the balustrade, only now realizing just how warm it is inside. There are a few other ponies out with us, all of them talking quietly among themselves. I'd imagine that they've come out here for the same reasons as me and Celestia; some quiet and privacy.

“Now then...” Celestia lowers her voice and adopts a serious tone as we come to a stop at the balustrade, both of us looking out at the sea of lights that make up the nightscape of Canterlot. “I noticed that – during the general chaos of today's trial – Luna neglected to organize any sort of monetary compensation from the Lulamoon family.”

I nod slightly. “You're right. She didn't.”

“Well,” Celestia turns her head slightly to glance at me. “It is my perception that – for any number of reasons – Luna chose to do so intentionally, and as the sentencing has already been passed I am unable to change that.” The alicorn pauses for a moment, a slight intake of breath alerting me that she isn't finished yet.

“And still... from what I know of you, I get the impression that you wouldn't want such an amendment anyway.”

“No, I wouldn't.” I confirm the princess's thoughts. “I think they've suffered enough that I shouldn't take their money too.”

“And if they had a hand in the attempted tampering?” Celestia queries me, speaking almost as soon as I finish my sentence.

“Uhh...” I pause to think, caught off-guard by the suddenness of her question. “Well... then I'd gladly take compensation. That would be their own fault, and their mistake to pay for.”

“And that's fair enough.” Celestia nods, glancing at me a second time out of the corner of her eye. “But, in the event that they weren't involved in the tampering, we're left with the issue of your own funds.”

“Oh.” I frown, remembering that I gave most of my money to the others as payment for freeing and running around after me. “I see.”

“Yes.” Celestia nods. “I'm not sure when – or even if – you plan to begin public recitals again, but until then you will need living funds.”

“I will...” My frown deepens. It doesn't take a genius to see what she's getting at.

“With that in mind, I feel that it would be best for me to offer you a royal stipend to cover your living costs until you are in a position to provide for yourself.”

“A... uh... oh.” My voice falters as I properly consider her words. Usually, I'd decline right away, but she has a point. I was so busy running around trying to be everypony's friend that I didn't stop and think about what would happen if I didn't get reparations from the trial. That said, I'm now only a couple of thousand bits from broke. “Huh. This is a problem.”

On one hand, I really want to stop mooching of the princesses and everypony around me. I want to provide for myself – and once I've achieved that, I want to pay them back. It goes without saying that accepting a royal stipend would be moving me in the completely opposite direction.

And on the other hand, there's the glaringly obvious problem that I'll need money. Without accepting a stipend, I'd either have to instead drain money from the Elements (who don't have the massive funds that Celestia and Luna keep at their disposal) or begin playing concerts and recitals immediately, which is something that I'm frankly not ready for. All in all, the answer seems pretty simple; accept the stipend, and pay it back in full once I do begin performing again. I can't deny that it's the best option, as much as I dislike it for my own reasons.

Celestia's been waiting patiently while I think, calmly watching the Canterlot skyline. A quiet clearing of my throat brings her eyes to bear on me again.

“Uh... while I would personally prefer not to take any more of your money, your majesty-” I clear my throat a second time, for no other reason than to break my sentence into two sections. “-as far as I can tell I won't have any source of income for the next few weeks, so I must accept your gracious offer.”

The corners of the alicorn's mouth twitch upwards in the beginning of a smile. “Excellent. I had worried that you would decline, which would have been quite an issue.”

“Quite.” I bow stiffly, almost forgetting to do so.

“Very good. Now then, let us return to the festivities.” Celestia turns and begins walking away from the rail, while I choose to linger a few moments longer.

“Oh, and Keys?” The princess pauses as she departs, turning her head slightly to look at me. “For the last time, please refer to me as 'Celestia'. I'm not one for formalities amongst friends.”

“Of course.” I nod briskly as Celestia takes her leave, immediately being struck by the implication of her words.

After a brief pause to think about what the princess just said, I shake my head and return to the party.

***

“Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow.” Maneworthy smiles wearily. “I'll give you a full examination, and we'll find out exactly where you stand recovery-wise.”

“Sounds good.” I nod once at the doctor and his wife, leaning against the frame of my suite's front door. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight – and hey, fun party.” Maneworthy's smile briefly changes to a smirk while Light Wing nods her agreement. She's a very quiet mare, to the point that I've barely actually talked to her.

“See-ya.” I stay where I am, waiting for the two to move out of my sight down the staircase – which takes a while, considering that Light Wing is heavily pregnant.

Finally, the doctor and his waddling wife disappear down the staircase, and I turn back into my apartment, gently swinging the front door closed.

“And that's it.” I call to Twilight, who is sitting on one of the couches in the middle of the lounge. The party started winding down around ten, leaving Maneworthy and Light Wing as the last guests to leave just now, at a quarter-to-eleven. Now it's just me and Twilight, who insisted that we still make an attempt at having one of our nightly conversations.

I quickly approach the couch, sitting down heavily next to Twilight “Now we can talk.”

“Uh-huh,” the mare replies. “That was a fun party.”

“Well, I think it was actually pretty tame, which was nice.” I cast my eyes around the suite, taking in the streamers and many pieces of dropped food strewn across the floor. Those veritable piles of food Pinkie and Applejack prepared last night have been all but completely demolished. “Although I really hope it isn't up to me to clean away this mess.”

It's when Twilight doesn't respond that I turn my attention back to her, fully expecting to find her asleep. Instead, I find her not only awake, but staring intently at my clothes.

“Uhh... everything okay, Twilight?” I glance down at my suit – which I should add that I am really liking. I think it looks pretty good on me.

“Uh, yeah.” Twilight quickly brings her eyes up to meet mine. “I... I was just trying to remember... remember... uhh...”

“You seem a little... unfocused. You sure that everything's alright?” I question her, trying to keep my voice pleasant. “You aren't going to fall asleep again, are you?”

“I-I'm fine...” the lavender mare replies still not averting her gaze. “I'm just... trying... oh!” Twilight suddenly smiles, turning her head slightly as her horn lights up. “That's right! I just remembered.”

She quickly produces a bland silver circlet from her saddlebags, which I immediately pick out as being all but completely identical to the one that was broken during the trial.

“I asked Rarity and Maneworthy to help me enchant this spare circlet the day after I gave you the first one – you know; in case something happened. It won't be quite as powerful as the first one, but what's important is that some random unicorn on the street won't be able to take hold of your mind.”

“Thank you.” I smile again, plucking the circlet from Twilight's aura and deftly slipping onto my head. After a few moments of rearranging my recently-shortened hair so that the metal band is covered, I turn my attention back to Twilight, who has for the second time started staring at me.

“Uhh... did you forget something else?” I raise one eyebrow at the mare, who doesn't even seem to notice my voice. “Twilight? Hey!” I raise my right hand and snap my fingers, finally getting her attention.

“Oh, sorry!” Twilight whips her gaze to my hand, and then up to my face. “It's been a long day.”

“Tell me about it.” I smile uneasily. Twilight's odd behavior is starting to seem a bit familiar. “Are you sure you aren't tired? You said you didn't sleep well last night.” I shift my gaze to the area around Twilight's eyes, which have light but noticeable dark circles underneath them. They're nowhere near as bad as the heavy bags she was sporting when I was preaching Atheism to her, but they're there.

“No, I'm feeling okay.” Twilight glances around the suite quickly, taking a quick breath. “B-but I think I'll sleep pretty well tonight.”

“Uh-huh.” I lean back into the couch, not missing the slight stutter in her voice. “Twilight, you're coming off as... well, kinda nervous.”

“Oh, no!” Twilight shakes her head quickly, a startled expression forming on her face. “No-no-no, I just...” she trails off, leaving me to both make a gesture with one hand for her to go on and turn my face into a strictly neutral mask. “It's just... uh... well, I was wondering about what... what happened with Trixie today.”

“Oh,” I reply dumbly. “That.”

If I can be honest, that's not what I was expecting – although I can see why Twilight would be curious. She must have realized that we talked for even a small amount of time before I started shouting for help, and it's just like her to be curious.

But the question is; is it even worth telling her what Trixie said? Do I even want to tell her? Do I want to waste my time repeating Trixie's justifications and excuses that I don't even believe myself? Do I want to even acknowledge them by talking about them? I'd much rather put it in the past and just move on.

And at the same time, it seems stupid that I even have to think about it. I trust Twilight implicitly, followed extremely closely by Cadance, Rarity, and everypony else who's been involved with me since I was freed. Why wouldn't I tell her? We could discuss all the ways in which what she said is incorrect, or Twilight could at least reassure me in my decision that it's a steaming crock of shit.

Maybe I just don't want to talk about it for that same reason I just mentioned; I could just be wanting to shove it all back to the past, where it belongs. Hell, what if my subconscious is trying to repress it? I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't know the way my mind works; I'm not even sure why I'm hesitating to talk about this in the first place.

A good way to decide all this is to consider one thing: Is there anything actually stopping me from talking to Twilight about this? If I opened my mouth to tell her, would I be able to, or would the words die in my throat for no good reason?

As far as I can tell, I wouldn't have any issues. I trust her, she's intelligent, and I really should tell at least one pony about what Trixie said, no matter how worthless her words are.

With this long period of thinking over, I finally pull my attention back to Twilight herself, only to realize something very, very awkward.

We've both been sitting here, doing nothing else but staring at each-other for just over a full minute.

'What?' I draw back slightly, although Twilight doesn't seem to notice. She's phased-out again, although still staring directly at me. 'That's... that's really weird. What is up with her tonight?'

“Keys?” Twilight speaks suddenly, still looking at me with that same disconcerting absent-minded look. In keeping with her decidedly creepy tiredness, her voice comes out equally weary and sluggish. (I'm starting to think that she might be simply drowsing in her seat). “I... think I know how... how you can repay me.”

'What?' I repeat the thought, staring at the mare, not entirely following her. 'Wait, she doesn't mean...'

Then Twilight starts to lean towards me.

Seriously. She's actually doing this.

This can't be happening. She can't be doing this. I must be asleep, or drunk, or having some sort of epileptic seizure on the floor.

But she is, and she's starting to get a little too close - and she's starting to pucker her lips. I can't let this happen. I can't let her kiss me.

“Twilight!” I shout loudly as I lean away from her slow advance, causing the mare in question to both come to her senses and jump slightly in her seat

“What... I...” The lavender mare glances around, before looking back at my shocked expression. “Oh, no. Oh my gosh! I was – I mean, you were... I...” She leaps to her hooves, her own expression matching mine as she becomes extremely upset. “I... I didn't mean to!”

I remain silent as she starts to panic, still trying to properly process what almost just happened. Twilight just tried to kiss me. She was going to kiss me.

“It's just that you're – I mean, you... I...” Twilight backs a few steps away from the couch, shaking her head and stuttering profusely. “I-I'm sorry, I have to go.”

She takes a further two steps back, a mixture of indecision, confusion and shock clouding her face. “I'm really sorry.”

And with that, Twilight turns and hurriedly canters to the front door of the apartment, opening it with her magic just long enough for her to pass through, before slamming it behind her. It takes only a few seconds, and then she's gone.

For my part, I stay exactly where I am, staring at the closed door with that same shocked look on my face.

She was going to kiss me. She really was!

After a few seconds I bring my hands up to my face and run them once through my hair, slumping back into the couch.

'What just happened?'

"Seriously," I speak suddenly, my voice sounding hollow. "What the fuck?”

Author's Note

If I may make this clear: The romantic development is absolutely not permanent. Depending on reader feedback, it may be nullified or removed entirely.

Well, after six weeks of... nothing, I finally have the first part of the epilogue done. I have worries that this will be a huge miss in the eyes of you readers, but if you want the truth, it could have been a lot worse. I was originally going to write it with Twilight just outright kissing Keys, but I eventually realized that just wasn't right, and would simply come off as wish-fulfillment. Also, to make sure this is perfectly clear: Twilight was acting this way because she was tired. There's no way this would have happened had she been well-rested.

So... yeah. I really do hope I didn't mess this up, and if you're really heavily displeased, feel free to tell me. (I also urge you to stick around. After all this time, surely you'll come back for the final chapter, even if you dislike this character development.)

As for my own personal criticisms for this chapter: it's a little rushed, I'm a little displeased with the way that I wrote it, and I was having some real issues with describing character movements and expressions during dialogue. (All of these issues point towards me being a little burnt-out.) So I'm just going to use this spot right here to acknowledge that this isn't my best work.

Okay, I have one final note regarding the last chapter. It was a big problem for quite a few readers that Trixie could have been aware when she was petrified, so I've decided to include a groundless Word of God handwave regarding it that will not be included in the story at any point.

The reason that Discord was aware during his internment was due to his unimaginably large magical reservoir. A standard pony does not have the magical reserves to remain aware during their imprisonment.

Hopefully with that little extra piece of information you can all rest easy.

Epilogue: Part 2 - Twilight

Twilight's been gone for a full ten minutes. I've spent the entirety of that time out on the balcony, pacing back and forth along its outer edge.

I should have seen this coming. I should have put it together sooner than five seconds before she tried to kiss me. The signs were there, but I just wasn't watching for them.

I'm going to be frank, despite the fact that this is forcing me to reassess my general impression of Twilight thus far and do some heavy thinking I wasn't anticipating, this does put multiple events over the last week - ones that I had thought were off-kilter - in a more sensical light.

'Nightingale Syndrome' - or 'Effect'. One or the other; the point being, it must be what Twilight has. The context fits so well.

It explains her behaviour back when I was preaching Atheism, and the extreme awkwardness of our short exchange on our sexualities. It explains why, over the past three days or so, she was being so much more active in her caregiving – almost to the point that she was doting on me.

Twilight felt awkward being alone with me after Trixie escaped, likely because she felt self-conscious; Hell, then - during the party and with others around - she decided against spending time with Celestia, in favour of talking with me. She's always tried to be cheerful towards me, and has made innumerable sacrifices regarding sleep to spend more time with me. All of those different aspects alone don't amount to much, but in-context they paint a pretty clear picture that I feel stupid for having not noticed.

To her credit, Twilight hid it pretty well up until the point that she was around the forty hour mark without any proper amount of sleep - although she was aided in no small part by my own self-absorption.

So this has been very, very trying for me. I'm honestly not ready to deal with Twilight‘s attractions... not so soon after closing my ordeal with Trixie, anyway; I'd prefer it if my life weren't a string of dramas packed in one after the other.

Right now, it's not even a matter of "She's a pony, I'm a human". We're both mature, self-aware and intelligent enough to disregard that area of rebuttal - and for Twilight it would appear that our radical physical and aesthetic differences aren't an issue either; I'm just completely unprepared for this sort of development.

“God damn it.” I bring a halt to my pacing and turn sharply, leaning heavily on the steel and glass balustrade. “I told her to get some sleep. If she’d just done that one thing then this could have waited... until... ugh,” I taper off, falling short at putting the situation into words. I’m not even sure what I’m upset at, but I'm projecting it onto her in full. I’m frustrated at Twilight for dropping this on me now, I’m angry with myself for not picking out the signs, and I’m fed up with... everything, despite how – currently – the good aspects of my life far outweigh the bad.

I bring my hands up to my head, running my fingers through my hair helplessly. This situation is reasonably simple... and at the same time, very complicated. The worst part is that the only one who knows exactly how complicated it is, is me.

I mean, I’ll be brutally honest here; the idea of a “relationship” with Twilight isn’t altogether disagreeable. As I said, we’re both smart, we’re both self-aware and able to make our own decisions. Technically - so long as your definition of bestiality involves the animal being definitively unable to make its own, intelligent decisions - it’s not bestiality, so much as it is... xenophilia, I think. It's something along those lines, anyway.

My real issue - aside from the obvious matter of how legitimate Twilight's feelings really are - is more of a personal hang-up. A very large one, which has been entering my thoughts more and more frequently since I came to Equestria (and causing problems proportionally more frequently, too). It’s an irrational association, and even though I can understand that, the magnitude of this mental block has not lessened in the slightest.

I can’t let Twilight end up like Sara. No matter how different they are, no matter how much I think I’ve changed since High School, no matter how stupid this entire issue is, I can’t let it happen again. Actually, in all honesty, I think it’s very unlikely that Twilight will end up like Sara... I mean, that’s a little extreme, but I certainly have a bad track-record when it comes to relationships and I’m worried that starting anything with Twilight would end badly due to my own faults - just like before.

Maybe the association isn’t quite so irrational, so much as it is exaggerated.

With a sigh, I allow my head to droop. I need to talk to Twilight about this. It would be... borderline cruel to just let her run off like that and not try and close the matter; I really need to find her, and let her down gently. It’s the safest way out.
Another sigh escapes my lips as I raise my head, pushing myself away from the balustrade and into a standing position. Twilight could have gone back to her own rooms, to one of her friend’s rooms, to her parents, or – god, I hope not – to Celestia herself; but it seems more likely that she went to see Cadance, the one pony who specializes in relationship troubles.

With that in mind I turn away from the (as always) beautiful Canterlot nightscape, instead presenting myself with an unpleasant view of my ransacked apartment. There are dirtied paper cups and plates strewn across the tables and floors, accompanied by multiple pieces of dropped, half-eaten food and a few stains thrown in for good measure. The only items left completely clean are the piano and the reading corner, for obvious reasons.

I survey the disaster zone as I cross it, once more momentarily entertaining the hope that it won’t fall to me to deal to this mess, before immediately bringing my attention back to the more serious issue; I need to find Twilight - and if she isn’t at Cadance, then I can at least get some advice on how to put an end to this scenario.

I aggressively snatch my cane from beside the door with one hand while producing my keys with the other. With a short set of fluid motions I open my front door, step through and close it, deftly inserting and twisting the key behind me.

***

‘Knock-knock-knock,’

I rap on the door gently, attempting to find a balance between a courteous volume - considering the hour - and a force strong enough to actually be heard inside the spacious apartment.

I stay right where I am for half a minute, passing my cane from hand to hand in a display of both nervousness and impatience. I’m about to knock for a second time when I finally receive a response.

The door latch clicks lightly, followed by the wooden slab itself slowly pulling inwards, stopping when there is just short of enough space for a pony to slip through.

A bleary-eyed Shining Armor appears on the other side. His mane looks to have been hurriedly combed, and his face is adorned with a tired grimace.

“Ugh... Keys?” The stallion raises his right hoof to rub at each eye in turn. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” I keep my face somber and my voice serious, betraying the fact that I'm not sorry in the slightest. “But listen, it's important. Something's gone wrong with Twilight.”

“I know,” Shining grumbles, nudging the door open a little wider so that he can fit between it and the frame.. “She came galloping in her twenty minutes ago, crying the same thing and wanting to talk to Cadance.”

“Oh.” The corners of my mouth twitch in a grimace of my own. It looks like I was right. “Is she still here?”

“Yeah, she's in the main room with Cadance. I don't know what they're talking about; she hasn't even said hello to me yet.” Shining frowns. “So, are you gonna tell me what happened?”

“Uhh...” I frown, glancing over Shining’s shoulder, hesitant to look him in the eye. Would Twilight be upset if I told him what she tried to do? She and her brother are close, but... well, she hasn’t told him so-far; maybe she doesn’t want to tell him at all.

“I’m... not sure I can say.” I lick my lips nervously. That alone already implies that something serious happened, which means I already may have said too much.

“Keys,” the stallion deadpans, clearly too tired to let me mince words. “I’m her big brother; if it concerns Twilight, it concerns me. Just say it.”

His words bring an extra level of worry to my uneasiness. What concerns Twilight concerns her brother? So what if he’s angry that I spurned his sister’s ‘advances’? Oh Jesus, and what if he’s angry at me because twilight did this - full stop? That’s an (admittedly small) possibility.

“Uh.” The sound slips out as my words are stalled by this new worry, which prompts Shining’s expression to harden further.

“Keys,” he says again, this time pointedly. There’s no anger in the word, but there is a goodly amount of impatience.

I hesitate for a moment more before speaking, once again rapidly running through all the different reactions - likely or not - that my news may prompt. Surely it won’t be too bad.

“Okay, well... Twilight tried to... kiss me.” My vision flits between Shining Armor and various imperfections on the walls and door.

“So if she kissed you, why is she inside with Cadance?” Shining questions immediately, his completely neutral reaction stunning me. He doesn't sound angry, or happy, or even surprised. He couldn't possibly have been expecting this, could he?

“I... wait, what? I thought you’d be... upset.” I frown, creasing my eyebrows in confusion. That’s not quite right; I didn’t really know how he’d react at all. I’d assumed he’d at least be protective.

“Why?” Shining’s deadpan tone still hasn't changed, which is starting to become very puzzling.

“Well, because...” I look at Shining again, now no longer feeling a need to avert my eyes. He still looks extremely tired, but I can see that his actual expression is easily identifiable as ‘interest’. Regardless of his tone, it looks like Shining does have an investment in what I have to say - although he still doesn’t seem surprised.

“Nevermind.”

“Right.” Shining opens the door a little bit wider, so that he doesn’t have to squeeze so tightly through the gap. “So again, why’s she here if she kissed you?”

“She...” I lick my lips again. If Cadance is occupied, maybe Shining can give me some advice. “She tried to kiss me.”

The statement hangs in the air as Shining breaks his neutral expression with a frown, evidently not understanding. He looks to be a little sluggish when he’s been awoken, which is an odd trait for the captain of the guard. Maybe I caught him in a particularly bad state.

After a few seconds the white stallion emits a quiet “Oh” as he realizes what I was getting at, his frown deepening as he thinks.

“So why not?” Shining questions bluntly, his frown changing from a thoughtful one back to a confused one. “I don’t see the problem. Is it because she’s a pony and you’re a human? Because that’d be... really shallow.” He ends with another yawn.

I raise one eyebrow at his words, not expecting such open endorsement of a relationship.

“No, that’s not a problem.” I shake my head as Shining nudges the door until it’s half-open, allowing him to stand comfortably over the threshold. “It’s just... well, this'll sound dumb, but I have a... bad track record, when it comes to dating.”

“Wait,” Shining says softly, lifting his left hoof to rub at his eyes again. He seems pretty awake now. “...What you're saying is that Twilight likes you, and you don’t want to start a relationship with her because... what, you’re afraid of things not working out? Are you kidding me?”

“Uhh...” I cast my eyes downwards, uncomfortable with how the summary sounds. “No, I'm not.”

“So you feel the same way,” Shining states bluntly, now contrasting his previous sluggishness with a sharp intuitiveness.

I raise both hands helplessly at his observation. It’s not like he’s wrong, but the more I think about this the more it sounds like some crappy high-school drama.

“Well, yeah. She’s a nice mare.”

“Uh-huh.” The stallion nods, a brief flicker of a smile playing across his face. “So then why don’t you want to try and make it work?”

“Well, because... my past relationships have always... ended really badly.” I crease my brow slightly, not wanting to say more. "And I don't want Twilight to go through all that."

“Well she seems to want to make it work. Why can’t you?”

“Because I'll likely hurt her if I do - and badly,” I say pointedly, hoping that he’ll take the hint that this isn’t something I want to talk about.

“You sound like a little foal.” Shining responds, his tone taking on an edge. "Keys, why don't you act your age and tell me what the real problem is? What's so bad about your 'track record'?"

I look at Shining for a moment, that faint afterthought of how stupidly I've been handling this beginning to grow in solidity. He's quite right; I've been approaching this conversation with an incredibly low level of maturity.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I nod slightly, to which the stallion responds with one of his own. “It’s just... even when I try and be mature about it, it’s not an easy subject to approach. More than that, I just don't like talking about it.”

“Because?” Shining prompts me bluntly, tapping one hoof impatiently.

"Because..." I trail-off for a second, my gaze drifting upwards until it's unfocussed and pointed over Shining's shoulder. I don't want to remember the details; only the summary. "Because..."

"Because?" Shining says again, making that the third repetition between us.

His words barely register as I give a small, involuntary shudder. Four years later and I still can't look back on it with even a hint of objectivity. "A few years ago... my most recent girlfriend... we..."

Shining doesn't say anything, remaining completely silent as he waits for me to finish.

"We broke up during a fight. It was something really petty, that I started... and ended." My eyes remain unfocussed as I speak providing me with nothing aside from the blurred image of Shining standing at the door to his suite. "And my girlfriend - Sara - she was a very emotional person... and because of what happened, she..."

I fall quiet for a second time, not daring to focus my eyes again or continue my story. I don't want to see Shining's expression, and I'm sure he must have already figured out what happened.

"What did she do, Keys?" Shining asks quietly, evidently not willing to leave it at a simple implication. He can't not have figured it out, so why must I say it? Why must I spell out just how badly I fucked up, and how it destroyed her entire life? For Christ's sake, I'd been doing a good job repressing it all - up until tonight.

I blink twice, an action that both caves into my eyes’ silent pleas for moisture and forces them to come back into focus. Following this, I give a quick shake of my head.

“Please,” I speak quietly. “Do I really have to say it?”

Shining stares at me for few seconds, using the moment to shift his lower jaw from side to side. Once he’s done that he blinks twice, glances quickly over his shoulder, and then steps out onto the landing.

“No, I guess not.” He nods once, reaching out with one hoof and pulling the door closed with that strange “near-field telekinesis” pony hooves seem to have.

“Thanks.” I return the nod, glancing at the door and shifting uneasily on my feet. “Uhh... are we going somewhere?”

“Yeah. You’re planning to talk to Twilight, right?” The stallion turns back to me and starts walking towards the stairs.

“Uh... yeah,” I reply slowly as I follow him down the stairs. “Although I was going to ask for some advice first.”

“Well, you’ll get it,” Shining responds shortly. “I want to show you something.”

“Huh?” I blink twice, confused. “What? Where are we going?”

Shining turns his head back to me, his expression still neither positive nor negative. “Twilight’s room.”

“What?” I ask a second time, following Shining as he walks quickly to the edge of the spiral staircase and starts to descend “Why?”

“Because, I could explain to you why you’re wrong, or I could show you,” the captain replies simply.

“And what are you going to show me?” I demand again, starting to get annoyed at Shining’s vagueness. Is he trying to be theatrical?

“That a couple of days ago Twilight picked up a bunch of books on dating,” Shining answers simply again, not even glancing back at me as we reach the corridor at the bottom of the stairs. “It’s this way.”

“Wait, what?” I exclaim, increasing my pace to keep up. Was she that serious about this?

“You’ll see, now come on; it’s just a few minutes more.” Shining nods towards the end of the corridor as I make quiet noises of confusion.

"Wait, what books?” I clasp my hands nervously as I follow Shining down the corridor. “And are you sure we can just... barge in? I mean, it's Twilight's room."

The white stallion glances back at me one more time, and I think I catch the beginnings of an eye-roll as he turns his head forwards again. “Of course I can go in; I’m her brother - and I’d also like to just go back to bed."

***

The latch to Twilight's room clicks quietly, the entire door easing open slowly under Shining's magical influence.

I watch, wringing my hands nervously as the wooden slab swings inwards. If you'd told me this was my suite, I might have believed you; the door looks the same as mine and it's also at the top of a spiral staircase - which also has the same number of steps as mine, I think.

And seriously, why is that? Why does every suite in this castle require three floors-worth of stairs to be placed between it and the corridor? The only reason I can imagine as to why we simply can't use the floors that correspond with the actual suite positions is that it's for traditional reasons... well, it could also be a defensive thing, but I highly doubt that in a country like Equestria. Really, it just doesn't seem to make any logical sense... and it gives the impression that the castle walls contain a lot of wasted space that would be better devoted to storage rooms and the like.

I manage to pull my nervous thoughts back to the here-and-now, only to realize that Shining has already gone inside and that I've been standing here for the last twenty seconds.

With a moment's hesitation, I follow Shining over the threshold and into the darkened suite, still wringing my hands.

The very first thing that I notice about the suite is that it isn't actually darkened; it has multiple lights on, but it's as if Twilight turned down a dimmer-switch before she left, leaving the entirety of the space in a warm "quarter-light".

The second thing that hits me is how remarkably similar Twilight's suite looks to my own. On the left is a modern-looking kitchen, and the far wall is also taken up by a large full-wall window - so overall the basic layout and design seems to be the same, but everything else is more tailored for Twilight.

The space to my right - which is a reading corner back in my apartment - is now a studying space, complete with a desk and shelves full of binders. The lounge-space, however, is completely different from mine; with no piano podium, a considerably different furniture layout, and the walls are literally lined – floor to ceiling – with fully-packed bookshelves.

There are three couches and two chairs arranged in an elongated arch facing the window-wall, which has no balcony on its opposing side. In the space between the apex of the arch and the glass is a large, low-sitting circular table that I think is meant for just... anything, given the set of cushions arranged around it. In this case, the table is laden with three separate piles of books – one of which Shining is looking over in the half-light.

With my sightseeing done, I walk over to Shining. “So, these books you were telling me about...”

“They’re right here,” the stallion replies as he taps the largest pile of books; a neat stack of at least twenty tomes that comes up to my mid-stomach. “She’s been getting books out of the archives and buying copies of some guide series ever since the gala.”

“Twilight's read all this in eight days? Do I need to guess what about?” I ask, frowning slightly. That mare is some sort of learning machine.

“Well, at first they were all pretty normal; during your four-day-rest it was all stuff on anatomy and physiology - so that she would be prepared, I guess." Shining shrugs. "Then you woke up, and she started getting books on obscure and ancient cultures, and the next day there were things about psychology - like stress disorders and mental trauma. Every time I came around the stacks were bigger, and Twilight was always reading."

"I remember this book..." I mutter quietly under my breath during the gap in his explanation, touching my hand lightly to the top book on the stack; "A Mare's Guide to Cultural Tolerance".

"This was one of the books she bought the other day."

"Yeah. After a couple of days Twilight started getting books on understanding body language and things like that. I thought it was a little odd, but I didn't say anything." Shining shrugs again, looking down at the stack of books with a deadpan expression.

"But then three days ago - when you tried to give her a day off - she came by the apartment a little while after you'd left, and when I went to make some hot drinks she followed me into the kitchen and started asking questions about what you did, and - after that - how me and Cadance started dating."

I turn my head sharply to look at Shining. "Really? She did that?"

"Yeah." The stallion nods once, a slightly embarrassed blush on his face.

"What'd you say?" I press. Twilight's developed these feelings very quickly, and I'm really surprised that she was getting dating advice on the fifth day of knowing me. A crush is one thing, but this is... well, this is Twilight being Twilight.

"Well, I answered her questions." Shining lifts one hoof to rub the back of his neck. "But when she was done she went back out into the living room before I could say anything else - and I didn't want to talk about it around Cadance, you know? She had enough to deal with."

"Right, right." I gesture with my right hand for him to continue.

"So I stopped by here the next night and Twilight was gone, but Spike told me she'd had him go over to your suite and take some books from her saddle bag."

"The ones she bought from that racist book store." I nod once, remembering that Spike did indeed make a brief appearance to retrieve - among other things - the books Twilight bought while we were in town. "I don't think she's read them yet."

"Yeah, but the point is that she bought them." Shining takes a step back as I drop to my haunches and begin examining the books.

I raise my left hand and stroking my chin thoughtfully. The books are piled in reverse order to when Twilight read them, starting at the base with volumes such as "A Mare's Guide to Omnivores" and "A Mare's Guide to Bipedal Physiology", followed by a couple of guides related to ancient history.

"Jesus, they seriously have a book for everything," I mutter, running my eyes up the small tower of book spines. After that there's "A Mare's Guide to Counselling" and "A Mare's Guide to Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder" - with all of these books being intersped with more academic works. It's only when I reach the top of the stack that I find titles that take me aback.

The educational tomes stop just short of the summit, leaving a short run of Mare's Guides, all of which pertain to one particular topic. There's a guide to dating, to understanding other cultures, a guide to dating other species and - at the very tip - a guide to cultural sensitivity. Even if I hadn't had Shining explaining this all to me it would have been extremely easy to put together; the whole thing's blatantly obvious just from this pile of books.

I feel that I should be unnerved from this. Twilight's developed - and cultivated these feelings in a spectacularly short span of time; just fifteen days or so if you start from my show in Ponyville, or twelve if you start from my freedom. I also get the strange impression that she wasn't exactly planning to act on those feelings so soon.

And I guess that's not so strange. It barely takes any time at all to develop a crush; I know that myself. The unusual part is how Twilight immediately started looking into furthering a relationship. It seems that her research started to move away from being strictly academic with the books on body language, and after that... thing seem to snowball, beginning with Twilight getting advice from Shining and continuing on to her finding books pertaining specifically to dating.

It's probably because of her bookish nature. Something new - that would be me - appears in a spectacular display of violence and cruelty, and Twilight starts to study it... and... I suppose that from there it didn't take long to decide on her... feelings.

Of course, that's nothing more than a guess; an assumption - and I've been making a lot of wrong assumptions since I got here. The point is, I can see how it might of progressed, and - modesty aside - I can see a little bit of the appeal too; not much, but some.

"Alright, so I get why you wanted me to see this," I say to Shining, running my hand down the spines of the books. "Is there anything else you want to show me before we go back?"

I rise from my haunches, brushing the top book of the pile with my hand a second time. It takes almost ten seconds for me to notice that the stallion hasn't replied.
"Shining?" I turn away from the stack, casting my eyes around the suite. “Hello?”

Silence greets my words, and it takes two full revolutions for me to realize that he’s gone.

"What the hell..." I growl unhappily, walking quickly back towards the entrance. "He just left me here?" I bring my hand down on the doorknob, but even as I do the realization hits me.

The latch clicks as I pull on the door, but it refuses to move. Grunting in frustration, I try to push the door - even though I know that it opens inwards.

"God damn it, Shining!" I exclaim under my breath, releasing the door handle and stepping back. "Why?"

Exasperated, I take a further step back. I suppose Shining's going to send Twilight back here so that we'll talk about it, which is annoying, considering that I was going to see her anyway - and I'm pretty sure he knew that... maybe he just wanted his apartment vacated so that he could sleep. I don't really see what else he could be playing at; showing me all this, then sneaking out and locking the door behind him; what I do know is that it's a real dick-move.

At a total loss as to what to do next, I move to turn away from the door when the faint click of a key entering the lock reaches my ears. The noise stops me in place, sending a sudden nervous chill up my spine.

'Fuck, already?' the thought enters my mind briefly as I jerk my eyes back to the door. Before I can do anything else, the door is unlocked and the tumbler is turning. Shining must have moved fast for her to have come this quickly. All I have time for is one last mental curse before the latch pops free and the door swings open.

There's a brief moment of stillness as me and the lavender mare in the doorway stare at each other.

“Keys.” Twilight blinks in surprise, while I shake my head and look down. Of course this is what would happen.

The silence stretches on a while longer before I sigh quietly, raise my right hand to rub at my eyes, and look back up. “Uh, sorry. Shining let me in... and... then he left me here.”

“Oh.” Twilight shifts awkwardly on her hooves, still standing in the door. “He told me I should get some sleep.”

'Of course,' I grumble internally. I was completely right. I’m not sure why, but I guess Shining must not have trusted me to actually talk to Twilight; So he decided to take the course of action that would add as much awkwardness to the situation as possible.
Brilliant.

“Well,” I speak quietly, tilting my head towards the centre of the suite. “I guess we should… talk about it.”

An uncomfortable silence hangs between us for a few seconds before Twilight nods, letting out a quiet “Yeah”
With obvious reluctance and a downtrodden expression, the mare begins walking away from the door, moving towards the centre of the suite.

"Oh." The mare's sad look fades as she glances at me, before hurriedly enshrouding the book stacks on the table with her magic. "I should cle-"

"I've already seen the books." I cut her off, my words bringing an expression of sheer mortification to her face. "It was why Shining brought me here."

Twilight remains still for a few moments, before sighing dejectedly, dropping the books back onto the table and lowering her head.

"I... I know it's not normal... you must think..." She shakes her head in disbelief, plodding slowly around the couch at the apex of the seating 'arch'. "That I'm some sort of... deranged pervert."

"Not quite," I respond as I move around the opposing side of the couch, sitting down in the right corner. "Twilight, you were there at the Gala, and when I recorded my statement, and at the trial; you know that - for me - 'deranged' is a lot worse than some advice books."

I pause for a few seconds in case Twilight wants to speak, before continuing to talk when she says nothing. "I... I won't pretend that it's perfectly normal... but I get it." After a brief afterthought, I add a sheepish "Kinda."

"Huh?" Twilight's eyes flicker to me.

"Uh, well, not that part, but the whole development in general - you know, how much faster it went because of these books." I backtrack on my words slightly. At least this part is coming out - for the most-part - properly, considering most of this is the stuff I thought of right after Twilight left my suite.

"Where I come from, it's called 'Nightingale Syndrome'... or 'effect', or something." I speak slowly, still considering what to say next. "To keep it short: it's when a caregiver starts developing a deeper attachment to their patient."

"I'm sorry," the mare says quickly, which makes me raise an eyebrow. I suppose she doesn't know how to respond.

"Don't," I reply just as quickly, shaking my head once. "It's not that unusual; the thing is, what do you think the chance is that you have a real attraction to me? What if, when I finally become fully independent, you stopped feeling the way you do?"

I wait a few seconds, hoping that the mare will actually have some input into this conversation before it transforms into me lecturing her on emotions and syndromes. As I expected, she has nothing to add.

"Okay. Twilight," I lower my already-hushed voice a little more. "When you tried to... do that, why do you think I cut you off like I did?" It’s mostly a rhetorical question; nobody knows but me.

Twilight glances back at me before allowing her gaze to dart furtively over the books on the table. "I'm... I’m not sure. I don't know."

"Well, it’s not for the reason you’d expect.” I reply curtly, swallowing once. I need to tell her. Even if we decide to not go any further, she should at least know what the big problem is. 'Keep it simple, leave out the dramatics, don't try to make excuses.'

"It was because..." I start quickly, wanting to head-off any more comments from Twilight before I change my mind. "Well, it was back in High School, when I was 16 - just over four years ago, now."

Twilight turns her eyes towards me, a curious expression on her face. Again, she says nothing.

"And - being sixteen - I was still suffering through all the teenage hormonal imbalances, which was normal, of course." I make a sour face, recalling the confusing mess of teenage emotions with a slight pang of nostalgia, followed by a larger pang of regret. "And I found myself in a relationship with a girl named Sara. She was nice, happy... a little emotional every now and then; seemed really ideal at the time. I'd had a couple of relationships before that, but they were all juvenile little things that didn't last long.

"And things were pretty great for a while. We dated for just under six months with things going well, but then after the half-year mark, things kinda went downhill." My eyes flicker to Twilight, but I pull them away before I can distinguish her expression. "We started squabbling a lot, and a couple of times we got into fights over little insignificant matters - but they were always quick fixes.

"And then, one day during the lunch-break things went completely wrong. I'd gotten a bad grade on a physics paper, and that had put me in an equally bad mood. Sara tried to cheer me up at lunch with a conversation that eventually moved onto her family - which was where I fucked up completely."

"Oh..." Twilight coos quietly, either at my story or my obscenity - maybe both.

Not wanting to draw the story out any longer, I continue talking, fighting past a steadily increasing tightness in my throat. "I said that I found her aunt - her paternal one - irritating, which shocked Sara. She tried to defend her, and... I just kept trying to explain my opinion - like an idiot.

"Sara got badly upset, and eventually we broke out into a really, really heated shouting match, at the end of which we more or less broke up and Sara stormed off... all in front of at least two dozen other students." I'm forcing the words out of my mouth at this point, my voice close to being a flat monotone. I'm feeling really uncomfortable here, and the tightness in my throat hasn't eased in the slightest.

"I'm sorry," Twilight says lamely, looking extremely uncertain.

I look at her for a moment, considering the idea of telling her not to be sorry. I decide against it; a couple more minutes and she'll know not to be sorry.

"Sara took the next two days off, and not once during that time did I try to apologize, even though it was all my fault. I was being immature, and stubborn. Then, on the third day, she showed up to school, seeming extremely happy. She was being nice to everyone - and even smiled at me once. I still didn't try to talk to her."

"Well that was good, ri-"

"She hung herself that night." I cut Twilight off, my words bringing a completely shocked expression to the mare's face and an empty hollowness to my own gut. I just said it; I blurted it out - and callously, at that.

"And we all couldn't believe it," I continue haltingly, hurriedly beating down several strong memories and their associated emotions. "I found out at the funeral reception that her mother had cheated on her father just before things started going downhill in our relationship, and their marriage had started disintegrating.

"Sara had kept it from me - just because I was focusing on my midterms and she didn't want to distract me - and her paternal aunt was the only person helping her through it... then... when I started that argument and we broke up... she just couldn't handle it."

I fall quiet, mentally drifting back to the aftermath. There was the emergency assembly at school, and they had the school counsellor come up on stage and tell us all that the support staff was on-hand to help everyone along. I shouldn't have gone, and the entire time I was sitting there all I could think about was what I had done. The looks from the other students were bad enough; sympathetic, knowing, judging, hateful.

I took a week off after that, and skipped two other midterms. The week after that my sister urged me to go to Sara's house and apologize, which entailed me crying with her now-divorced mother and being shown her room. The body and noose were gone, but it was still horrific to be in the same room.

"It doesn't hurt as" had been carved straight into the wall by the wardrobe, the sentence left unfinished. I knew what it would have said, though. As I found out later, it was a lie... or maybe she hadn't been referring to the hanging.

After an extended pause, I finally force myself to look the lavender unicorn in the eye. I can feel the hot pinprick of tears in my eyes, but I refuse to cry; that was so long ago.

"Twilight, I messed up both of my first two relationships, and then I drove my third girlfriend to suicide. Do you see why I'm a little hesitant to try a fourth time?"

For a few more seconds, the mare stays silent, her mouth still hanging open at my revelation. After a moment, she finally composes herself.

"I... Keys, I don't really know what to say," she begins slowly. "That's... I mean, wow."

"Yeah, wow," I agree quietly, unable to keep a hint of remorse and bitterness from my voice. "So… I'll cut this short; does it change anything?"

Another pause, this time only two seconds.

"I, uh... no. I mean, it was all that while ago.” Twilight's voice is still bewildered, but not like it just was. “Uh, do you think that you've changed?"

Oh, I've changed; after coming to Equestria, how could I not? The question is if it's for the better, and as to that, I have no idea. Rather than heap more uncertainty onto the conversation, I respond with a simple "Yeah, definitely". Rather than subject the conversation to another silence, I push ahead to the final, big question.

"Do you still want this to happen?"

There's a pause, and I wonder if she'll back down. I don't know if it'd be for the better or worse if she declined, but it feels like if she did then things could stay the same.

"Yes," Twilight replies, and I nod once. "Yes, I do."

"Well..." I allow a slight smile onto my lips, mostly just wanting to reassure the unsettled mare. "Then that means that it's happening."

“Wait, really?” Twilight turns to look at me, a bewildered, slight smile on her face. “Just like that?”

“Yeah, just like that.” I nod once, feeling that I should smile, but also a little embarrassed to. “Is that okay?”

“Uh, ye-yeah!” The Lavender unicorn is both pleased and taken aback. Her sudden bubbly happiness is a heavy contrast to the sombre mood I've fallen into, and I feel more than a little awkward that I'm not reciprocating her new-found cheerfulness. "Of course!"

"Good, good." I force my smile a little bit wider. "I, uh, didn't think it'd be quite so simple."

"Me neither." Twilight's casts her eyes around the suite, looking even happier. "Wow, we'll be able to do all those things that couples do; like going on dates, and taking walks, and reading books together, and solving complex mathematical equations, and all the other things in my books!"

"Yeah, we can." I smile slightly, finding her enthusiasm touching; she's so excited about this, even my melancholy can't shut it out entirely.

After a brief pause in the conversation of me and Twilight simply exchanging glances of varying happiness, her large smile fades somewhat.

"Keys, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod once, producing another smile. "And yeah, I'm happy. Just... dealing with those bad memories."

"Oh, I'm sorry.” Twilight’s smile disappears entirely. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, no, it’s fine – really.” I shake my head, not allowing my smile to falter. “To be honest, I’d rather it if I just went back to my apartment and slept on it.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Twilight frowns. She probably expected me to stay and talk some more.

“Yeah, give me some rest and I’ll be fine.” I push myself up off the couch, suddenly wondering exactly how to make my exit. Do I leave with a display of affection, just to cement that this is actually happening? A peck on the forehead, maybe… or what about a hug?

No, it’s just too early for something like that, and Twilight would probably realize I was just doing it for the sake of doing it – and then what’s the significance? It’d become some trite, empty gesture; a bad way to start a conversation.

“Goodnight, Twilight.” I dip my head slightly, still smiling. “We’ll be able to talk about this more after some sleep.”

“Goodnight.” Slightly awkwardly, Twilight mirrors my nod, a pleased smile returning to her face.

Without further discussion, I step around to the back of the couch, and start walking towards the exit.

And just like that, the mess is over – at least for tonight. There'll be more things to smooth out tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, but for now it's been dealt with.

I wonder if things will work out for us. That pause before she said yes speaks volumes, and I can't help but worry that it's an indicator of more uncertainties to come. I suppose that's just something that we’ll find out, and worrying about it won't help anything. She certainly seems happy now, so I’ll run with that until further notice.

What I really hope is that Twilight's aware of the genetic limitations here; there's no foals in my future no matter what happens, and I really don't want to have to explain that, because that would involve a discussion of intimacy... and intimacy is just... it's just something else entirely; completely off limits until further notice.

"Okay, well... goodnight, Twilight. I'll see you in the morning," I call one last time as I open the suite’s front door, feeling as if my exit is a tad unsatisfactory. I feel like I should stay, and that we should talk more... but it seems better that we both take some time to ourselves and talk tomorrow.

Besides, I'm exhausted, and that seems reason enough as it is.

"Goodnight. Sleep well," the mare responds merrily, waving as I step over the apartment threshold and then close the door behind me.

In the only way since I was kidnapped that I've been able to fully and perfectly express how I feel, I sigh. It's short and light, but also weary, exasperated, and a little confused.

Before beginning the walk back to my apartment, I take a final look back at the door to Twilight’s suite and briefly wonder if she’s still sitting there, or going to bed, or talking to Spike, or even writing a letter to Celestia.
This doesn't feel right; none of it does. There should be more closure. What happened with Trixie's behind me, but now we have to sort out the unicorns who were meddling during the trial. I need to figure out what to do with Twilight, and I have to look into finding a home of my own. I need to know about Celestia's book on humans, and I have to get really, truly better.

'I need, I have, I need, I have.' All these things that I'm forced to do for their own respective reasons, and only once they've been seen-to will I actually be able to look at what I want. I guess I should have known that in real life, there's never any true closure. Nothing ever just falls into place in that one satisfying moment; some things are resolved quickly, others are resolved later, and others still may possibly never be resolved at all - like not knowing what happened back on earth after I was kidnapped.

It's as I descend the stairs back down to the hallway that I come to the conclusion that that's the way it will stay; proper closure is something I'll likely never achieve, and - as sombre and unwanted an admission as that is - that's just the way it is.

So I suppose the next 'I need' is to sort out the unicorns who were meddling during Trixie's trial. After that I'll be agreeing on the royal stipend from Celestia, and at some point after that I'll need to actually start setting up my own, independent life in Equestria; playing recitals, earning money, finding a home of my own. Each of those things are part 'I want', but it'll be a long, long time until I no longer have some pending issue hanging over my head.

It'd be good to take my mind off of all this, and I think I know just how: going back to my apartment and playing some piano should do the trick. I really haven't been doing enough of that lately.

And when Celestia raises the sun in a few hours, I'll find out what comes next.

The End

Author's Note

And seven months later we have... an unsatisfying - just outright bad, really - ending with very little closure.
...
~Ta-da~

Just to be clear, when Shining refers to Twilight as "crying the same thing", that doesn't mean she was actually crying; In my mind, Twilight wouldn't do that. A couple of sniffles on the other hand? That's a solid maybe, based on her tendency to do so in the past - but I digress.
On a separate note: I'm unhappy that I couldn't keep Keys from definitively saying what happened to Sara until the conversation with Twilight - even though most people would have pieced it together simply from the beginning of the chapter - but to do so would have made the conversation with Shining pathetically melodramatic and contrived, which I feel would have been much worse... call it a "balance" of drama and bullshit, I suppose.
And for the record, I deeply dislike my own characterization of Twilight. She spends most of the story being very quiet and generally submissive. I guess I could attribute it to her crush on Keys, but I'm still not comfortable with the break in her established character. One final thing: I am quite aware of how badly I abused ellipses on this story.

Alright, that's me done. From my perspective, I've come to the conclusion of Keys' story-arc. However - and I can't believe I'm saying it, it sounds so snobbish - I've noticed a few readers over the course of the series have taken to writing small excerpts of future Piano Man tales, and to you I would like to say: Go for it! (Seriously, this is not an exercise of my ego.) I'd love to see more writings about Keys or the other characters of my story world; whether people want to do so or not, I'm just saying that you're welcome to! (Although just keep in mind that such a work wouldn't be a proper continuation of the story unless I really, really liked it.
So, yeah. I'm aware that there's a 99% chance that nobody actually wants to do this, but I thought I'd just quickly cover it in the case of that 1%.

And I'll just leave you with this little jingle, courtesy of a friendly reminder from Zanthimos. Thanks for reading, everyone, and Pony on!

Monday Syndrome

Equestria.

The name sounds ridiculous when you think about it. It’s ‘Equestrian’ without the ‘n’. Surely somepony must have noticed at some point that their country shares its name with their species.

Then again, why would they? Your standard human will never question the absurd nuances of the English language. Compared to that, ‘Equestria’ is absolutely fine.

Anyway: Equestria... or more specifically, Canterlot. It’s where I’m staying. Nice enough city, I suppose, considering that even the snootiest of the ponies that live here aren't above calling up to my balcony. The garish level of cleanliness is a little unnerving, though.

I’ve been staying in the Canterlot Private Clinic for three days now – not counting the four days I spent unconscious - which makes it a full week since the Grand Galloping Gala. A full week since I was set free.

For those of you just joining me in my tale of how I came to be living in Equestria, I suppose it’s time for a recap. First of all, let me clear this up: I am human. I am a ‘Brony’. And I am very much sane – scarred psychologically, perhaps, but sane nonetheless.

As I have discovered, this is my twenty-ninth day in the world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Twenty two of those days were spent living in fear, enslaved as a musical performer by The Great and Powerful Trixie.

…Okay, maybe I should provide a little more detail than that.

A month ago, I was at home, enjoying a nice lazy Saturday. I sat down to play the piano, and… well, the easiest way to say it is that I was… kidnapped. That’s pretty much it. I lost control of my body, and my skin turned… albino-white, or something. I’m not exactly sure what happened, because I was back to normal when I woke up, and never had a chance to find out.

Okay, exactly how it happened isn’t important. What’s important is that it did happen. To summarize, I was at home, I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was in this badly lit little cage.

And, as I said, it was Trixie that summoned me. She literally ripped me out of my own world – my own life – and into hers, and do you want to know why?

To play the piano.

To play the fucking piano.

Turns out, pianos are a bit redundant in Equestria. Unicorns can’t perform the complex magical multitasking necessary. Griffins and Dragons can play, but both species only have four digits instead of the five required to properly manipulate the keys.

So, Trixie decided that the only logical solution to this lack of piano prowess was to kidnap a living human and force it into slavery.

Due to the lack of any magical spark within humans - or something like that; I don’t remember the whole lecture - Trixie was able to control me completely. I hope you can imagine what that’s like... having someone else in control of your own body... because I don't want to explain it.

Using this ability, Trixie was able to force me to play the piano, and make me give regular performances in her travelling show. When I disobeyed, she beat me. When I tried to escape, she threw a lantern at me and set my hair on fire – a very, very traumatic experience.

Eventually, I gave up. I tried to hang myself with a length of piano wire – nearly succeeded too. But of course the fact that I am here right now shows that I didn’t quite manage.

Trixie found me before I could die, and cut me down. Turns out she needed me to play one more show, and then she was going to put me down herself and retire on the money I’d brought in. Isn’t that just completely… monstrous? To save someone from suicide so that they can do one more thing for you, and then kill them yourself?

To be honest, I don’t think monstrous quite cuts it. If there isn’t a word for that level of evilness, then there really should be.

Anyway, that one final show was at the Grand Galloping Gala. It would seem that over time my shows had become quite popular. I was quite the marvel of biology. For those reasons, the princesses of Equestria contracted Trixie for me to play a concert at the Gala. Prestigious, I know.

So Trixie made me play at the Gala. A full hour long concert. If I had been in any frame of mind other than suicidal, I would have been overjoyed at actually playing a concert.

At the Gala, I decided to end my performance with a piece from the actual TV show; This Day Aria. A nice piece, and a reasonably soft ending for the concert. Mostly, I did it just to fuck with Twilight and Cadance, who were in the audience... A tiny little revenge for them getting entertainment out of my enslavement. What I didn’t expect, was for that to prompt them to come visit me in my cage while Trixie was off being told how amazing she was.

That was when the ponies discovered that I wasn’t an animal, and I discovered that everypony had been told that I wasn’t intelligent. A truly horrifying revelation. All I had had to do was do something unquestionably sentient on-stage, like cry. If I had done that, then it would have all been finished. I could have done just that, too... so it was basically a sharp kick in the balls while I was down.

Even now, I have no clue how Trixie managed to fool every, last, pony who attended my shows. I mean, I was playing a piano for Christ’s sake! How much more intelligence do you need to show? My current thinking is that it had something to do with how humans were mythological for Equestrians – like how the Minotaur is mythological for humans.

So after I recovered from a completely undignified breakdown, Twilight, Rarity and Cadance decided that it was time I was set free. Of course, things didn’t exactly work out. Trixie found us.

She managed to knock Cadance unconscious, and cast some sort of spell to flip the wagon. Twilight tried to stop the flip with her own magic, which resulted in the entire thing just ripping itself apart.

Things went bad very quickly after that. A flying plank put Twilight down, and Trixie managed to beat Rarity with her magic. When I tried to attack her, she gored me on her horn. I was lucky that Trixie had no idea what constituted a mortal wound for humans. She turned away to clean up things and make it look like I had escaped and killed the three mares, which gave me a chance to use a fragment of my cage to attack.

I broke her horn - Just like that. Shattered it with the metal bar. I even got my chance to kill her, but failed. I was bleeding out too fast and when I tried to finish her off, all I managed was to beat her until she passed out. I suppose it’s for the best. I doubt I would be in this cushy private hospital if I’d murdered her when she was defenseless.

So I succumbed to my wound and blacked out, and then I woke up a full four days later in the Canterlot Private Clinic… and I’ve been staying here since, recovering from getting my stomach punctured. Trixie’s being held in custody. There’s enough evidence against her to put her away for life, which is enough to make me happy. Even if she somehow gets out, she has no horn. She might as well be an earth-pony – minus the crazy strength levels and affinity with nature.

So, long story short: After three weeks of torture and all kinds of hell, I won.

Unfortunately, my victory didn’t come free. I don’t think I need to say that it will take a lot of rest and help to get past this, both physically and mentally.

***

The heat is unbearable. My scalp doesn’t just feel like it is on fire, it is on fire.
Trixie is still holding me down, using each of her hooves to pin my own limbs, and her magic to immobilise me.

My head thrashes from left to right, desperately attempting to extinguish the flames eating away at the top of my head.

Oh god it hurts. It hurts so much.

Trixie’s face is still twisted in that snarl of rage. I can barely see her through my swollen eyes, which makes the sensation all the more terrifying.

“Stop it!” I shriek, managing to produce the words around my mouthful of blood. “Please!”

Of course, she doesn’t. She just stands on top of me, her face locked in that contorted mask of rage.

That face. That rage. How can she do this this to a creature that wants nothing more than freedom? What did I do to deserve this?

So I scream, thrashing and twitching against the magical restraints, until Trixie’s horn finally gives a little flash, extinguishing the flames on my head and plunging me into darkness.

***

My eyes snap awake as the nightmare ends.

It’s now day four since I woke up - Or day thirty since I arrived in Equestria - and like every morning since I was freed, I wake up with tears rolling down my face, and my hair grasped in my hands.

“Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god.” My voice comes out hoarse and strained, before I manage to take control of my emotions and stop the babble of words flooding out of my mouth.

I sit up in bed, breathing raggedly as my hands finally leave my hair alone and start to wipe the tears from my eyes.

I sniff loudly, aggressively kicking off the bed sheets and swinging my legs off of the mattress.

The assortment of cards on my bedside table have changed again. Somepony comes in here every night and swaps out the ones that are there with a new set. Slightly creepy, if you ask me – although touching, that there are so many that this pony has decided to use a system to deliver them all.

Deciding that the cards can wait, I slowly get to my feet.

The room is already lit, with generous helpings of sunlight seeping around the sides of the curtains. It gives that lovely dim ambient light that back on earth would have let me know that I’d overslept

Mumbling, I grab a bathrobe off of a wall mounted hook and put it on. Rarity delivered it on the afternoon of the day I woke up – which means that I had been measured in my sleep. If this had been earth, or any other TV show, I would have found that creepy. Honestly, it’s a little long in the sleeves, but it reaches my ankles and keeps me warm, so I’m not complaining.

I grab my walking stick from its nightly resting place. I can’t say that I still need it to move around, but it takes strain off of my gut and makes walking a lot easier.

I shuffle over to a table and chair in the corner of my room, still wiping and rubbing at my eyes. I need to clear the tears away before anypony sees then. When I woke up on the second day Twilight was already in the room. Apparently she’d been able to hear me thrashing in my sleep from down the hall. Needless to say, it took a lot of talking to get her to stop insisting she alert the staff.

On the table is my breakfast, already laid out. Whoever brings it in must get a front-row seat to me crying in my sleep. Lucky them.

“let’s see…” I sit down, picking up a knife and fork. “Oh, awesome.” As if in contradiction to my satisfaction, I take another sniff. Hopefully my nose will stop running soon.

Laid out on the plate is a delicious breakfast: two slices of toast – each one complimented with an egg – and two strips of fatless bacon.

That’s right, bacon. It turns out that the palace has a griffon chef, employed to provide meals for the omnivorous griffin dignitaries and visitors. I was relieved to find out that I wouldn’t be switching to a vegan or a vegetarian diet – even more relieved when the Mane Six hadn’t reacted with disgust to the fact that humans are omnivores…

…Although I do think its best not to ask how they are getting bacon in a world where cows are sentient. I think pigs have been displayed as just being animals, but I’m not sure, and I'm not interested in finding out.

Pointedly pushing my nightmare and my moral worries aside, I hoe into the food, managing to rip it apart and devour it in three minutes, before sitting back with a cup of warm weak tea, made just the way I like it.

This place really is the best hospital in Equestria. Everything runs perfectly, and like clockwork. My breakfast is slightly colder than usual, which indicates that I’ve slept in a little more than usual, and my tea has somehow been prepared just the way I like it. I only had to say it once, and now I receive it spot on with every meal.

I have a sneaking – or more like a glaring – suspicion that either Twilight or a member of the royalty has something to do with the amazingly unfaultable, impeccable treatment I’ve been receiving. It’s like a drawn out apology for the suffering I’ve been put through at the hooves of Trixie – and I’m not complaining.

I have yet to speak to any of the three princesses, although Twilight has assured me that they are planning a visit.

On the note of Twilight; She’s been stopping by every day since I woke up – and by stopping by, I mean spending at least four hours talking to me, hanging around – I’ve even caught her simply staring at me manipulate objects with my hands. I normally give myself overly complex tasks when this happens. She wants to see what humans can do with five digits, and I’m happy to pass the time showing her.

So far, I’ve also received visits from Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. It doesn’t really surprise me that Fluttershy hasn’t visited since I first woke up – considering how scared of me she seemed back then.

I still haven’t mentioned the show. I don’t know how the ponies would take it. If I have my way, not even Celestia will find out.

“Woah.” I mumble, suddenly realising that I’ve been zoned out for a good five minutes, just thinking. That’s been happening a lot lately. Being pulled back from the brink really makes one… contemplative.

I place my now empty tea cup on my plate. “And…” I rub my eyes one last time, making sure that I’ve gotten rid of the sleep-dust. “…The day begins.”

I push my plate back from the edge of the small table and stand up, finally taking time to glance at the clock on wall. Eight forty-three. Allowing ten minutes since I got up, I have indeed slept in a little later than usual. That said, this is nothing compared to back on earth. I slept in until quarter past eleven a few months ago.

Needless to say, I did nothing productive for that entire day.

The room is still lit in that same dim lighting, which is the darkest you can ever hope for a room to get on a sunny day like almost every day in Canterlot. I suppose it’s time to let some real light in.

I move over to the large set of curtains that dim the room, pulling them aside one at a time to reveal a pair of tall portrait windows framing a slender pair of glass double-doors that opens out onto a small balcony.

It’s quite nice, actually. I’ve previously spent a good three hours sitting on one of the two chairs outside, simply reading. The real problem is the distraction of the inevitable interruptions of intrigued pedestrians outside. The hospital is quite near one of Canterlot’s many shopping plazas, which means I normally get somepony trying to get my attention from down below.

Some other hospital patients are out on their balconies, looking out over Canterlot. They too show interest in the injured creature staying in room 213, but unlike the pedestrians they barely ever bother me.

I wrap my hand around the doorknob and open the right door, exposing me to the crisp mountain air.

As it turns out, doorknobs aren’t as redundant an invention for Equestrians as I thought. Unicorns use their magic, Pegasus can actually use their wings, and – somehow - I have also seen earth-ponies manipulating them. I’ll need to ask Twilight about that.

I step out onto the balcony, immediately feeling a little more awake as I’m hit by the cool morning air.

The view is always wonderful. I can see the city, part of the palace – and there’s Ponyville, off in the distance, sitting in its ‘peaceful’ valley.

I sit down in one of the two seats with a little groan, letting my walking-stick rest against the railing.

To be honest, even though I’ve left so much behind – by which I mean everything – I don’t want to go home. Returning to my own universe would be impossible. I would have to live with the knowledge that Equestria exists, and no-one would believe me. My family would think I was crazy.

Seriously, think about it. I’d be living on earth. I’d have to go to intense ‘There is no Equestria’ therapy. It would be just… terrible. On the other hand, I stay here, and get treated like this for god knows how long.

That said, how can I simply decided not to go back home? My mum, and my sister. They’ll both be… wrecked, I suppose. To be able to go back and not seems senselessly cruel.

Then again I’ve been gone for a month already. They’ll already be wrecked.

I suppose that in the long run, I’m conflicted. I want to stay here – forever, if that’s on the table – but I can’t simply decide to not go home, where my family and friends are.

If I’m lucky, I’ll never have to make that choice. Maybe they’ll never figure out how Trixie did it.

Yeah right. Of course they’ll figure it out.

“Hey! Piano Man!”

I look down over the edge of the balcony, sighting two stallions down in the square below. The first visitors of the day.

I really don’t feel like dealing with them at the moment. I’m going through the gloomy part of the morning, (The point between the ‘Fuck everything that has ever existed’ stage and the ‘Well I suppose it’s time to actually start doing things’ stage) which isn’t helped by my chronic Monday syndrome. I would much rather be left alone to my musings.

I wave weakly, managing to put a small smile on my face. There’s no sense in randomly alienating ponies who simply want to say hello.

“Morning.” I call back half-heartedly.

The two stallions wave back enthusiastically, and then thankfully keep moving. That’s a relief.

I would be perfectly content to simply sit out here on the balcony and think some more, but I’m reasonably sure that I’ll be receiving a visit from a certain lavender mare before too long.

Much in the same manner as the hospital itself, Twilight also runs like clockwork. She begins her visits at exact times – although the length of the visits themselves can be of any length. I have no idea how much havoc I must have wreaked on her meticulous scheduling.

And so, I drag myself to my feet, using the walking-stick as a helpful prop. This thing is so handy. I wish I’d used one back on earth. It would have made being lazy so much easier.

I re-enter my room, pulling the door shut behind me to trap in the temperature-regulated air of the hospital inside, and walk over to my bed.

The clock reads eight fifty five. I must have zoned out for a while out on the balcony as well. That’s been happening a lot lately. Anyway, the time means that I have five minutes until Twilight comes around.

With that in mind, I start to make my bed, slowly pulling up the sheets and arranging them so that it doesn’t look too crinkled. My life has become slightly monotonous lately, but I’m not complaining. It’s much better than how it was before. I don’t even need to make my bed. An orderly comes by during the day and remakes it anyway, but I like having something to do.

A sudden knock at the door surprises me, and I look up at the clock. Nope. I didn’t zone out this time. It still hasn’t hit nine.

“Uhh… come in?”

The door opens, revealing Doctor Maneworthy.

“Good morning.” He begins cheerily, the greeting seeming somewhat muted by the fact that I still haven’t actually given out my name yet.

“Morning, Doctor.” I respond sullenly, sitting down on my half-made bed. “I wasn’t expecting you so early.”

“Miss Sparkle sent me. She’s in a meeting with the princesses, and she asked me to bring you over.”

‘I’m seeing the Princesses?’

I give a little snort. Not in an offensive tone, but more in an amused way.
“I hardly think that I need a doctor to escort me.”

“You’re my only patient in the hospital.” Maneworthy shrugs good-naturedly. “And it’s your first time out of the ward. I think I’d rather take you myself than just send one of the nurses.”

I respond with my own shrug.

“It doesn’t really matter to me. I feel fine.”

“And that’s good to hear.” The Doctor takes a look at the chart at the foot of my bed. I have no clue why. It isn’t like it’s changed since the last time I saw him. “But precautions are always necessary.”

I nod in agreement. I’m not even sure why I was even debating the point.

I don’t mind Maneworthy. For somepony who’s main interest is seeing me getting better and then gone, (like all doctors) he’s surprisingly good company.

Acknowledging my nod with one of his own, Maneworthy pushes forward. “I trust you received the clothes from Miss Rarity?”

“Yes.” I reply simply, looking over at a set of drawers resting against one wall. “Remind me to thank her. I can’t imagine how long all those must have taken.”

“A very generous mare.” Maneworthy agrees.

The clothes Rarity has provided are actually very nice. They aren’t all as flashy and stylish as I had worried. It must have wounded her to include plain clothing without abstract designs or ritzy finishes and trimmings, but she did. That said, there are also two tuxedos that look almost identical to the actual ones back on earth.

You have to give her credit. A few measurements and she can produce a metric tonne of clothing that fit a species she hadn’t even seen until a week and a half ago.

“Uh… Well.” I turn back to Maneworthy. “I need to… uhh, you know. Get changed.”

“Of course.” Maneworthy replies, suddenly perking up as he realised his slight slip-up.

That was another interesting note about Equestrians. Even rarity had a hard time understanding why it was so important that humans wear clothes every waking moment. (I should add that I was explaining why I wouldn’t get out of bed, and not demanding that she provide me with clothes.)

The doctor backs out, closing the door behind him, and I turn to my drawers. I refuse to put on something as ridiculous as a tuxedo, but I do need to dress smart for the Princesses. This is a big morning. I’m meeting the people paying for my care, and we’ll probably be discussing my future here in Equestria.

As I open the drawers, I can’t help but let out a small groan. There are so many clothes. How am I going to select a set that’s appropriate?

Generosity is great, but Rarity really needs to tone it down a little. Seriously.

Cadance's Troubles - Part 1

My eyes flutter open as I awaken from my light rest.

That surprises me. I actually managed to fall asleep?

Slowly, I roll off of my side and sit up – only to be further surprised as a pair of thick blankets slide onto the ground.

It’s pretty obvious who provided them, but I’m not going to hold it against her. Without these I could easily have developed hypothermia from the cold night air.

It’s still dark, of course. I must have fell asleep after only ten minutes or so, and there’s no way I’d be able to sleep the whole seven or eight hours until the sun came up.

“I need a watch.” I mutter, rolling from my sitting position onto my knees, and then slowly easing back into a squatting position.

I scoop up my cane and rest the tip against the ground, before using it to push myself into a standing position. It hasn’t taken me long to learn the different ways this thing is useful – although I can’t wait for the day that I can get up from the floor all on my own.

I lean against the railing surrounding the roof as I stoop over and retrieve the blankets. Now seems like the best time to go back to my room and get ready for the day – even though I have no clue what’s happening.

I look out at Canterlot again. I sincerely doubt that I could get tired of the view, which I can only describe as spectacular.

“What are you doing up here?”

I jump in surprise and pull my eyes away from the night-sky to see Maneworthy standing next to me. His expression is slightly irritated, mixed with confusion and a large amount of surprise.

“How’d you know that I’m up here?” I ask confusedly.

“Miss Sparkle let me know where to find you.” Maneworthy smiled in a slightly grim manner. “You gave the staff a fright, just leaving your room like that.”

“Oh. Sorry.” I glance out at the city. “I was just… enjoying the view.”

“You can do that just fine from your balcony.” Maneworthy comments in a tone that is both pointed, and good natured.

“I went for a walk to the stairwell, and then decided that I could use some air.” I shrug. That’s what happened, but voicing it the way I have just sounds so... bad.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Maneworthy asks sharply – and more aggressively than is actually necessary.

“Yeah.” I cough awkwardly. Neither me nor Twilight have informed the doctor about my nightmares – which are actually closer to night terrors.

“Damn.” Maneworthy’s ears droop. He has nothing more to add, but I know that he’s thinking along the lines of my upcoming therapy – namely how much of it I’ll need.

“It’s fine, Maneworthy.” I start weakly in an attempt to distract him. “Just a little bad dream.”

“We should get you back downstair-” The doctor pauses as he turns away, and then looks back at me.

“Did you get up here all by yourself? Was miss Sparkle with you?”

“Uh, no. Just me.” I grin sheepishly. “I mean, it took a while… but… yeah.”

Maneworthy raises an eyebrow in surprise. “Well that’s good news, at least. Anyway; We need to get you back downstairs. You’ve got a big day ahead of you.”

“I do?” I raise my own eyebrow as we make our way towards the door.

“Indeed. I’ve organised with Shining Armor for you to go and speak to Princess Cadance. We spoke about it at the meeting yesterday, remember?”

I remember – although I’m fairly certain that it was more me just asking if such an action would be a good idea.

“I thought you might like to have a look around the room that’s been organised for you.” For reasons beyond me, the doctor gives a little sigh. “You can move in there any time. We don’t really need you to be in the clinic anymore.”

I nod. “Sounds like a good idea. Less commuting for everypony.”

Maneworthy returns the nod, before continuing in a cautious tone. “And I also allotted time for… well, something else – if you want to, of course.” He pauses to gauge my reaction to his rather vague statement.

I raise an eyebrow and nod, motioning for the doctor to keep talking.

“Well, you see… the investigation into… Trixie’s doings, is nearly over. They’ve gathered all of their evidence and taken all of their photographs. Right now, they’re just waiting on a statement from you.” Maneworthy begins the explanation as we start the arduous trip down stairs.

“Don’t they already have her diary?”

“They do…” Maneworthy coughs delicately, afraid to break the glass man that I have been mistaken for. “But they need your account of what happened – and you need to make sure that it’s accurate, and doesn’t contradict the diary.”

“I can do that.” I respond in the affirmative as we reach the mid-landing between the level three and the roof.

“Ah. Good.” Maneworthy sighs in relief as we begin the next stage of our descent. “Also… now that they’ve gotten everything they need, the courtyard where Trixie’s wagon is now open for viewing, if you’d like to go.”

I think it over before answering. At a first glance, opening the scene to the public seems a little distasteful. I can see it from a logical standpoint as well.

After the rather explosive end to the Grand Galloping Gala, I would imagine many schools around Equestria would have switched their learning topics to civil rights and equality issues – and students love field-trips, so why not take them to the scene of the greatest civil-rights controversy of the last hundred years? (For Equestria, I mean.)

I bite my lip. Do I need to go? Possibly. If I had to hazard an unprofessional, unfounded, and extremely presumptuous guess, I would say that in the long run it might help me with closure. There’s no way Trixie’s wriggling out of the serious jail time she's facing, or some sort of punishment, so I might as well go and enjoy the scene of my victory before they clean it up.

My considerations have taken a notable amount of time. We’re already down at the mid-landing between level three and two, and Maneworthy is starting to look concerned. He must think that I’m ripping my head up with unbalanced and psychotic thoughts – or something to that effect.

“I think that’s a good idea.” I finally speak, drawing another sigh of relief from the doctor.

I grimace. This is getting tiresome.

“You need to stop being so worried, doc.” I comment suddenly. “I’m not going to rip myself to pieces if you drop Trixie’s name.”

“You nearly had a seizure over your clothes yesterday.” Maneworthy bites back, before chuckling. “Can you blame me?”

“I suppose not.” I have to concede the point. Trixie’s name may not draw ay more than an eye-twitch out of me, but that doesn’t exactly mean I’m in a healthy state-of-mind.

“Okay, so the plan for the day is… breakfast, Cadance, the room, statement, and wagon.” Maneworthy recites the schedule. "A busy day, I must say."

I run through the list in my head as we reach the level two and enter its darkened halls. “I don’t suppose we could fit a shower in after breakfast, could we? I really need one.”

“Of course.” I notice Maneworthy crinkle his nose ever so slightly as I bring up the topic of my personal hygiene, which does nothing to help my self esteem.

“Oh right.” A thought suddenly occurs to me. “What time is it?”

“Five AM.” Maneworthy responds curtly, and I notice a slight hint of bitterness in his voice. Trust me to fuck up everyone else’s sleep patterns.

“Sorry.” I immediately reply, my guilt-levels rising another notch. “And where’s Twilight?”

“She left.” Maneworthy responds, his voice conveying confusion at the fact. “I didn’t ask why, but I assume it’s important.”

“In a way.” I chuckle happily. “I told her that if she took a day-off today, I’d answer some of her questions."

“That mare’s constantly working.” Maneworthy comments thoughtfully. “I was starting to think that we'd need to sedate her just to get her to take a break.”

I nod in agreement as we reach room 213, and I grasp the doorknob. “I felt bad that she was constantly running around after me, so I wanted her to just rest for a little while.”

“Appreciable.” Maneworth glances at the name on the newly inserted name-card on the door, which simply reads 'Keys'. “I think it’s best if we get ready now – considering how long it takes to reach the palace.”

“Agreed.” I wince at the reference. “And please tell me that there aren’t going to be any more stairs.”

***

“…estly, I’ve always found the best restaurants to be located in the ‘middle’ districts. The food is generally good, and the staff members aren’t overly snobbish.”

I nod absently as Maneworthy continues to give me a full blown speech on the different Canterlot eateries. I can’t say that I’m overly engrossed in the topic, but the doctor is good company, and I enjoy him talking to me about something that isn’t my physical well-being.

“Of course, I’m sure you’re more interested in omnivore-friendly restaurants, but I don’t really have any advice there. I know of a few places, but I don’t know what they’re like. Either way, I would advise against taking anypony to an omni-serving establishment anyway. We can barely stomach the smell of meat, let alone this sight of it.”

“Thanks, Doc.” I chuckle blithely. “But I doubt I’ll be accompanying anypony – friend or otherwise – to a restaurant any time in the near future.”

“Right! Of course.” Maneworthy grins. “The food.”

It strikes me as odd that Maneworthy can’t remember the fact that my food has to be vetted. He’s the one that set it all up, after all.

I clear my throat, looking up at the palace. Unlike my trip yesterday, I can’t bring myself to admire its elegant architecture, as I’m too busy counting all of the towers and wondering how many stairs I’ll have to climb.

“So, uh… Where are we headed?”

“Princess Cadance and Shining Armor have their rooms closer to the ground floor, as he needs to be on call for emergencies.” Maneworthy replies matter-of-factly, which draws a huge sigh of relief from me.

“Oh thank god.” I exhale. “I was worried.”

“I’m sure.” Maneworthy gestures towards the entrance with one hoof, barely even raising an eyebrow at my mention of 'god'. “Shall we?”

I nod, following the doctor as he sets out again.”

“By the way.” I suddenly speak up as a thought crosses my mind. “Aren’t we a little… early? Won’t they still be asleep?”

“Cadance hasn’t been sleeping well.” Maneworthy remarks calmly as we reach the foor of the grand staircase and begin to climb.

The response gives me another little tug of guilt. I think it’s something along the lines of survivor’s guilt. I’ve come out of all this with some considerable scarring, and yet Cadance is the one that hasn’t even left her rooms in nine days.

I really need to stop my moping. At the moment, everything is as good as it can possibly get – when you take the last three weeks into account, of course. This is the best possible outcome to my enslavement, so the least I can do is stop making an ass of myself and cheer up. Maybe I should spend some time with Pinkie. That’d get rid of my blues.

“Keys?”

“Huh?” I shake my head, dispelling my thoughts. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

Now that is happening far too often. The amount of times I’ve just phased out and gone on a little wiki-trip in my mind completely unacceptable. It’s rude, and unnecessary. I didn’t even notice that we had reached the top of the stairs.

“I said; What are you going to say?” Maneworthy looks mildly concerned, and I don’t blame him. To say that this is going to be an awkward meeting is an understatement – but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t try. It’s Cadance, after all. Possibly the most likeable pony in all of Equestria – and that's saying something.

She’s also one of the least characterized, so I have no idea what to expect.

“I don’t know.” I respond plainly as continue walking through the halls. “There’s no real way to prepare for this, so the best thing to do is improvise.”

Maneworthy gave a little shrug – which is a very strange action to view, considering that he’s still talking. It looks a little like he just hopped slightly on his front hooves. Human gestures don’t equate well into ponies' anatomy while they’re walking.

“Your funeral.” He says simply, which makes me even more concerned. The Brony community knows next to nothing about Cadance. Personally, I can’t imagine her being anything apart from the embodiment of likeability she was in the season 2 finale, but she could always have some other traits that we never saw.

“Uhh…” I grimace. “Why is it ‘my funeral’?”

“The princess can be a little… emotional, when she’s under stress.” Maneworthy responded awkwardly.

That makes sense, what with her sensitivity to others emotions. It also worries me. At the very least it means I’ll need to tread carefully.

Maneworthy comes to a stop in front of an arched doorway, which reveals a spiral staircase.

“It’s just a few stairs up to the chambers. Are you up for that?”

“Despite what gravity would want, a few stairs aren’t going to kill me.” I reply confidently. “Are you coming?”

“I’ll come inside, but you should probably talk to Cadance alone.” Maneworthy steps onto the first stair. “Just call if you need me.”

“Will do.” I slowly follow the doctor up the stairs. Despite the relative shortness of the distance we need to climb, it still takes a good five minutes for me.

At the top, Maneworthy waits patiently as I take a few minutes to compose myself. It wouldn’t do to visit Cadance with a red face.

I don’t need to add that I absolutely hate these spiral-staircases. The sharp angle of the turn just doesn’t work for me at my current level of mobility. I swear; if my room in the palace requires stairs, then I’m going to have to kill somepony.

Finally, I reach out to the door, and strike it three times with my knuckle. I’m not sure why, but I make a point of keeping the action calm and measured.

Me and Maneworthy stand in silence on the small landing, waiting as the sound of hurried hoofsteps get louder.

Finally, the lock on the door clicks, and the door itself swings open, revealing the man himself, Shining Armor.

The white unicorn looks a little flustered. – but more than that, he looks tired. His coat is un-groomed, and his eyes have rather heavy shadows. I suppose trying to look after his wife must have taken a toll.

He grins unsteadily. “Morning Maneworthy. You here for... the thing? The talk?”

“Yes.” Maneworthy nods briskly. “And this is… well, I don’t think introductions are necessary.”

“The Piano Man?” Shining plasters a weary grin on his face holds out one hoof, which I grasp firmly and shake.

“I prefer ‘Keys’.” I return the grin, managing to put more energy into mine. “And you must be Shining Armor. Twilight’s brother.”

Shining raises an eyebrow as I release his hoof. I would imagine that he’s wondering why Twilight would talk about him to me – except for the fact that she didn’t. Just more of my damn Brony knowledge.

I nearly kick myself for being so careless. I need to learn when to shut up.

Thankfully, he doesn’t ask any questions, which would have inevitably led to an extremely awkward situation. Instead, the white unicorn simply steps back and motions for us to enter.

As usual, I let Maneworthy take point, following him as we walk into the suite.

I blink in surprise as we enter the apartment. To say that it’s well designed is an understatement.

‘Why is Canterlot architecture so awesome?’

It’s an open-plan double-story affair. There’s a wrap-around balcony overlooking the main room, with a staircase against each wall leading up to it – in other words; extremely airy.

There are a few doors set into the walls, leading off into an assortment of rooms that I only have time to glance at. Through the open ones I spot a bathroom, a kitchen, and what looks like some sort of dining room.

But what’s really breathtaking is the massive floor-to-ceiling window dominating the far wall, which gives a stunning view of the sky and surrounding landscape, while the Canterlot streets are tactfully obscured by a balcony – the door to which I cannot see.

“Wow.” I mutter, unable to stop admiring the royal suite. Only the best for the princess, I suppose.

“It really is something.” Shining responds modestly. “Five times the size of the Guard Captain’s rooms.”

I’m about to reply, when I spot the pink alicorn sitting over by the window.

Almost in unison with my spotting of Cadance, Shining comes to a halt, turning back to me.

“Listen.” He speaks in a hushed voice. “I think Cadance is getting better. She’s doing more, but if you can well… talk to her… I think it’d really help – so long as it actually works. She’s so broken down, and nothing I say can cheer her up.”

I nod hesitantly. “I’ll try.”

Shining returns the nod, his face conveying a touching amount of concern for his wife.

With nothing else to be said, Maneworthy and Shining both slowly exit the room, heading towards the ‘maybe-dining room’.

I swallow nervously, and turn to the pink alicorn, who still hasn’t stopped staring out the window.

Despite the fact that none of my previous hunches have been playing out lately, I still have the strangest feeling that this is going to either play-out terribly, or just be an extremely awkward conversation in general.

Holiday Special: Fitzgeraldian Grandeur, Fitzgeraldian Tragedy

The train pulls out of the station, five hooves of varying colour and a set of dragon claws waving at us as it goes. Until just a few hours ago, Twilight and I had planned to be on that train.

We exit the train station and check the address given on the letter. '21 Loperfield Avenue.' Twilight points us in the right direction, and we begin walking, leaving neat tracks in the inch of snow that covers the sidewalks.

I glance down at the piece of paper in my shirt pocket while we walk. In its folds I can make out the names “Fola & Haytham Buchanan”, sitting atop their address. The letter arrived just in time to stop Twilight and I from leaving on the train with the others. Their names were familiar, but it wasn’t until I read the letter that I realized I had met them a few weeks ago, when I visited the wreck of Trixie’s wagon.

The letter is a short, hasty scrawl. There are a lot of details missing I would like very much to know, but I gather that it was written in an extreme hurry. It was only delivered late this morning, around an hour before we planned to leave. It's dated for yesterday, so I'm supposing it was only written and put in for the post in time for the end of the day.

It doesn't say much. A quick introduction refers to us having met before the trial of Trixie Lulamoon, and the names of Haytham and Fola Buchanan both sound familiar - though I can't put a face to either - but the son they refer to, Leopold, doesn't ring any sort of bell. Aside from that, the letter only says that their son has developed a piano cutie mark, and begs me to pay a visit at my next convenience. With such an intriguing, short letter, how could I not?

As we walk up the street, I can’t help but reflect bitterly that the snow would be more beautiful if I didn’t know that it had been arranged by the weather pegasai. It looks so natural, but the knowledge that it's anything but a natural just ruins the magic of having that perfect light snowfall.

"So..." I turn my head to Twilight. "Are we going to get more tickets for tomorrow?"

"No, we'll take a chariot early tomorrow morning. I want to be there in time for the Hearth's Warming Eve festival."

I grin. "Oh, are you pulling the chariot? Can't we just cut out the excess and have you carry me?"

Twilight gives me a rueful glance and flexes her wings. "Not if you've got a problem with crashing."

"Flying can't be that hard. Aim for the big blue thing and start flapping, right? And if you mess up, aim for one of the other big blue things or a snow bank."

"Keys..." Twilight mumbles, a hint of pleading in her voice. She doesn't like it when I tease her.

My fun over, the grin fades from my face. As I think forward to the interesting but serious meeting ahead of us, I'm struck by a sudden and even more somber thought.

“Have you heard anything from Maneworthy?” I ask.

“No,” she replies. “I don’t think we’ll see him for a while. This morning I asked the doctor covering his duties with Princess Celestia, and she says that he’s still at the hospital... and that he isn’t doing very well.”

“Oh,” I respond lamely. “Well, we've got the time for it I think we should stop by before we leave.”

“We can do that.” Twilight nods. “We should do that.”

"After this is done, then." I return the nod, then look around. The houses on this road look shabbier than most other places I've seen in Canterlot. "How much further is it?"

"We're here," Twilight announces, coming to a stop. "21 Loperfield avenue."

"We are?" I spare a quick glance at the number on the letter, then the number on the letter box. "I, uh... I don't know what I expected. I thought it'd be more Canterlot-y"

The house is small; tall and narrow, like the cramped housing I've always associated with London. Its facade is aged and poorly maintained, not exuding the cleanliness and superiority that most Canterlot architecture holds. It's more like a flat than a house, and from the outside it doesn't look all that appealing to live in, like a good half of the homes on this street.

"It's very low key as far as houses go. Not everypony in Canterlot is able to live in a nice house," Twilight says. Unlike me, she takes the precaution of lowering her voice. "Not everypony is able to afford a nice house," she adds, quieter still.

"No, of course not," I reply in my own low voice, and as I do so I am struck by two things. The first is that I have become so over-accustomed to the quality and cleanliness of all things associated with the Canterlot elite, that I'm taken aback just when seeing a house that's comparable in shabbiness to the one I lived in on Earth. The second is that, in seeing the names "Fola and Haytham Buchanan" I had immediately conjured a mental image of Fitzgeraldian grandeur. "I was just surprised. For people, the surname is linked with being obscenely rich."

We approach the door and use the knocker in its center. There's the sound of activity and movement from within the house, then the door opens a crack. A teal unicorn in the armor of a city guard peers out at us, and then understanding dawns on his face.

"Oh, Mr Lewis - and your highness!" He pulls the door all the way open, almost falling over himself. "I'm sorry, we didn't expect you so immediately, and your highness." He bows to Twilight, then extends his foreleg to me.

"You must be Mr Buchanan, then?" Twilight says with some trepidation as I grab his leg awkwardly around the ankle joint and shake,

"Yes - your highness - I'm Haytham." The unicorn bows to Twilight again as he replies, still shaking his hoof up and down the whole while. Perhaps I should have come alone.

"Oh, please, please, come in." Haytham backs away from the door to allow us entry, guiding us down a short entry passage into a sitting room. "We honestly weren't sure if we'd even receive a reply, never mind a visit - and so soon too..." He trails off turning back to look between Twilight and I with an expression of total bewilderment. After a moment, he begins moving again. "Fola? We have visitors. Bring Leopold."

The room is just as small and worn as the exterior would suggest There's two couches and one armchair, all of which are old and frayed. There are two other exits to the room, one showing a hallway, and the other a dirty looking kitchen. Twilight and I seat ourselves on one of the couches, while Haytham stays standing.

"I'm sorry," the stallion apologizes. "I would take a seat, but..." He shifts slightly, his armor plates clanking against eachother as he does. "I was just about to leave for my shift."

"That's no problem," I answer for both of us while Twilight produces a small scroll of paper, writes out an explanation for Haytham's lateness, then rolls it up and seals it with her royal stamp.

"For your commander." She passes the scroll to Haytham, who chatters out multiple thanks for the gift. As he does, a unicorn mare with a cream coat and blue hair appears in the doorway to the kitchen, in the process of removing a nurse's cap from her head.

We sit through another set of flustered introductions as Fola Buchanan realizes that one of the princesses is visiting, the awkwardness of which is only broken when the foal we're here to discuss enters, and a few things fall into place for me. The name he gave me when we first met takes a moment to come to me, but I remember it after a few seconds.

Leopold 'Bucky' Buchanan is a tan colt. I remember him as young thing playing with some friends around the wreck of Trixie's wagon on the day I recorded my statement for the investigation. I also remember that he came up to me and spouted every child-hero-worship cliche in the book about how he wanted to be as good a pianist as me. I also remember seeking out his parents to warn them that he didn't have much chance of being a good pianist.

"Well, now this is interesting." I lean forward, a broad smile on my face. "Bucky, yeah?"

"Y-yeah, hi." He glances at his parents uncertainly. The foal seems much less energetic than when I met him.

"Things make a bit more sense now." I look back to Fola and Haytham as Bucky sits in the armchair. "But there must be a story here."

"Yes." Fola nods. "After you spoke to us, Haytham and I wanted to discourage Leopold from trying the piano, because we didn't want him to be disappointed."

I glance at Bucky, but he doesn't show any reaction.

"But little Bucky was very persistent," Fola continues. "Yesterday we took him to a friend's house to use their piano... and..."

We all turn to Bucky, who - after a nod of encouragement from his father - turned in his seat to present his cutie mark, a base clef wrapped in a treble clef, with a semitone note on either side.

"Very interesting..." My smile broadens. "What did you play, and how?"

"A short tune. It sounded very pretty." Fola smiles at her son, who squirms bashfully. "He... he used his magic, and it covered some of the keys."

"I see." I lean back into the couch. Magic covering some of the keys doesn't sound particularly special, unless he's somehow doing it differently to how I've seen unicorns try to play piano. "That sounds promising, but there's a small issue."

Neither Fola nor Haytham reply, but their faces become anxious.

"Well, Mr and Mrs Buchanan," I begin slowly, "I'm departing for Ponyville early tomorrow morning, where I plan to spend the holiday season and period after the new year at the very least - and possibly much more than that."

The two ponies share an uneasy glance as I talk.

"Now, I am still very interested in tutoring Bucky, yes, but I can't tell you when I'll next be in Canterlot for any long while. Perhaps - in the meantime - it might be best to find another teacher."

"N-no!" Haytham suddenly blurted out, balking at the idea. He glanced at Fola a second time. "I have cousins in Ponyville. Our family is close; we visit eachother every year. We could send Leopold to board with them for as long as you're in Ponyville."

"Woah," I say, although not loud enough to derail the proposition.

"It's very doable," Fola agrees. "Well worth it if it means Bucky can be tutored by, well, by you. And if he stays here, we wouldn't be able to afford a quality tutor for him anyway." I see Haytham's face fall at the mention of money.

"Wait," Twilight says, bringing instant silence to the room. An Equestrian wonder I may be, but nothing commands attention like the disapproval of a princess. "Mr and Mrs Buchanan, these are some serious decisions you're making on the spot; sending your son away for months on end? That's a big change for a young colt. I think you should at least check that it's what he wants before you start making plans."

All eyes in the room turned to Bucky, who looked intimidated by the moment.

"Bucky," Twilight said, a gentle smile on her face of Celestian benevolence. "What do you want to do?"

The colt's eyes flickered between the two sides of the discussion, the exuberance and energy he had displayed previously muted by the weight of the moment.

"I want to learn to play," he says quietly.

"Even if that means leaving home for a long while? Are you okay with that?"

"Yes." He nods. "Yes, if I can learn."

We're quiet for a moment, then I clas my hands together. "Well, looks like it's settled. I suppose that only leaves the matter of... fees."

Both of the Buchanans' faces are struck by the same look of dread that crossed Haytham's face when his wife mentioned money before. I look sidelong at Twilight, but she remains tactfully neutral. As I turn my eyes back to the Buchanans, I run my eyes over the decor of the room. The frayed fabric of the furniture and carpet, the scuffed walls, the overall drabness of their house.

A few thoughts come to mind as I think it over; talking with Celestia after the trial about my dependence, we had agreed on a royal stipend until I was able to start earning my own money. But just looking around, I can feel how wrong it would be to take the Buchanans' money. It's obvious that they're living just above a state of poverty here.

"...Ponyville has a public school for foals of Bucky's age, and there may be some minor administrative and stationary costs involved with enrollment. It's not as if I'd know, but I'm assuming you'll also need to provide at least a small amount of upkeep and board to your relatives. A train ticket for a foal isn't too expensive, though - although it's a different matter if either of you want to accompany him. If you're able to cover all that, there shouldn't be any problem."

The Buchanans stare as I stand to shake each of the hooves, and Twilight gives me a long look, her expression inscrutable.

***

Dusk fell while we were talking with the Buchanans. There's still a few rays of sunlight peeking over the Canterlot roofs, but nothing you could see by. The street lamps are on, and the individual falling snowflakes that catch and refract the lamplight are undeniably beautiful, even knowing that the weather is completely contrived.

Both of us feeling the cold, Twilight and I don't wait to admire the weather. We keep moving toward the castle, knowing that the Canterlot Clinic is only one street over a few blocks further along.

After walking in silence for a while, I can't stop myself from saying "Don't tell Celestia."

"I won't," Twilight replies. "It was a good thing to do."

"But not a smart thing," I say. My living funds are coming directly from the princesses - no noticeable cost for them, I'm sure - and Celestia and I already agreed that I should look at becoming independent as soon as I can. "I just don't think my first step toward funding my own life should be extorting a family in poverty."

"You're right," she says, and I understand that it's her answer to both parts of my response.

We walk for a while more, then turn a corner, revealing the large hulking shadow of the Canterlot Clinic, set against the slightly lighter backdrop of the night sky. There are some lights in the windows, but the large swathes of darkness show that it's clearly running on the night shift now. The biggest source of light is at street-level, from the entrance. The sterile white light seeping from the hospital's glass front would usually be a jarring contrast to the darkness of the street, but with the way the light is reflected and scattered by the snow on the ground and in the air, I'm instead struck by the idea that the hospital is a dragon, and the light is the fire it breathes, washing against the ground and fanning all around.

“Do you feel nervous?” Twilight asks when we come to a stop just short of the entrance.

“Yeah. I mean, this is the one week of the year where everything is meant to be as happy as possible... and instead... he's lost- I mean, what the hell do you say to help someone through that?”

Twilight reaches out with one wing and brushes it against the back of my hand. “I would think just getting a visit from a friend would make a difference.” She smiles, and I smile back. Twilight gets better at using her wings every day. Flying still isn’t working out, though. She's got a thing for "playing the girlfriend", but a lot of what she says is built on cliches.

I remember when I talked to Cadance, just after I moved into the castle. Shining Armor says I helped a lot there, but this isn't the same. You can convince someone that one bad pony doesn't represent the whole, but you can't just convince someone that their loved ones dying is anything less traumatizing than the tragedy they know it to be.

Letting out a long breath, I bow my head in acquiescence. I'm honestly not all that sure if Maneworthy and I are friends. I'd like to think that in a few months' time I could say such a thing, but at this point I would say that we're friends the same way two amiable workers in an office environment are friends; that if we didn't have a reason to, we would barely see eachother at all. Not exactly a cheerful observation, and neither is it the sort of thing I'd confide to an element of harmony.

We step into the light spilling from the hospital entry and up to the doors. I hold one open for Twilight, and then follow her up to the front desk. The single mare working the night shift looks up at us as we enter.

"You highness, welcome." She bows her head to Twilight, then gives me a professional smile. "Mr Lewis, it's nice to see you. I hope nothing's the matter?"

"I'm fine, thanks, Ms Manila. We're visiting to see Arthur and Light Wing Maneworthy. Sorry it's so late."

"For the two of you, I'm sure it will be fine." To her extreme credit, the mare keeps her composure to the utmost. However, she does blink out of time with her rhythm, and the expression in her eyes changes to something much less than cheerful. "The maternity ward is down this hall." She gestures with one hoof to the leftmost hall branching from the lobby. "I would suggest that you do not disturb Mrs Maneworthy, but you should find Doctor Maneworthy outside the second floor nursery."

Twilight and I glance at eachother.

"I see... does he spend much time there?"

"Yes." Manila gives another irregular blink, but her composure still doesn't slip.

"Right, thanks." I nod to the mare, then Twilight and I walk toward the hallway she indicated. It's a wing of the hospital I never visited while I was staying here; I rarely moved beyond my ward, I was so frail at the time.

"The last time I saw her, Maneworthy flipped out because she called me the Piano Man," I murmur to Twilight. "I think she took it to heart."

Aside from the blazing light of the lobby, the rest of the hospital is dark. The halls are lined with small floor-lights to show the way through, and the signs on the walls that indicate what ward is in which direction have weak back-lighting.behind them. The only places with the lights still on are the nurse stations by the stairwell on each floor. The Clinic is not the best working environment for those scared of the dark.

As Manila suggested, we can see the shape of a pony standing halfway down the left hall on the second story. He's beyond the reach of the light from the nurse station, and barely visible except for a silhouette that blocks the view of the floor lighting.

I motion for Twilight to wait, and detour to a coffee machine standing across from the nurse station. I feed in a few bits and produce two coffees, only being stopped from making a third by Twilight shaking her head. Then, both coffees in hand, we walk down the hallway, taking care to keep our hoof and footfalls as light as possible.

Maneworthy doesn't turn to look at us when we approach, his gaze fixed on one of the several dozen cribs that are barely visible through the window into the nursery.

After a long pause, it's Twilight who takes the initiative. "Arthur, I'm very sorry. How are you feeling?"

The stallion doesn't take his eyes away from the nursery or answer her question. Instead, he offers a blunt greeting of his own.

"Keys, Twilight, I thought you were leaving today."

"Something came up about a colt getting a piano cutie mark," I reply "We're taking a chariot tomorrow morning, instead."

"I see." Maneworthy's eyes don't move. I try to follow his gaze and pick out the foal he's watching over, but cannot.

Twilight gives me a look of extreme unease, and I give a small nod. She gives Maneworthy what I think is a very heartfelt condolence, and walks back to the nurse station.

"Which one is yours?" I finally ask him, after the next stretch of silence has reached a full minute.

"Fourth from the left, two from the back," he replies quickly. "He's a creamy beige colour, but that should darken as he gets older. We haven't decided on the name yet."

I can't see the colour of any of the foals in the dark room, but I nod. "And how is Light Wing?"

"Recovering. Healthy. I'm happy for that," Maneworthy says in a matter-of-fact voice, not a hint of emotion to support his claim. "She's grateful that he is healthy."

"And... is that where you two differ?" I keep my voice gentle. It's a clumsy approach, but the opportunity to broach the subject isn't something I'm going to pass by."

"Perhaps I mispoke." His voice becomes softer. He doesn't clarify, but I understand. Light Wing is happy that it wasn't a double stillbirth. Maneworthy's hurting too badly over the loss of one to feel cheered at the survival of the other.

I try to abate the awkward silence by sipping at my coffee. Maneworthy blinks for only the fifth time since I approached him, his eyes still fixed on the cot.

"I delivered a few stillbirths when I worked here, before being commissioned for the princesses," Maneworthy said suddenly. He spoke with great effort, as if it took some sort of physical exertion. "We had a lot of training on how to deal with grief. And the parents were always a wreck. I've delivered cancer diagnoses with better reactions than even the most stable parents that suffered a still birth. And even with that coaching, and with that experience, you're still not ready when it happens to you. No matter what, you can never be ready for it."

I slowly work my hands around the cardboard cup, trying to savour its heat, but not wanting to distract Maneworthy. His voice is strained and inconsistent, which has me imagining the lump of tension in his throat that always comes with misery on such a total scale; that hardness in the throat that makes every word come out uneven in comparison to the last, and that forces you to take shorter, more ragged breaths.

"We knew something was wrong. Before and after the delivery of the first foal, Light Wing said she could feel one of them moving too much. The heartrate on the fetal monitor was far too weak for the second delivery. He came out first, nice and healthy. It was a rush to get to the sister, and..." Maneworthy pauses, and swallows. There are small teardrops beading in the corners of his eyes and running into the fur. "...and the umbilical cords were wrapped around her neck. Face was blue, and the heart rate was nearly gone. It... it just didn't work. We cut the cords as quickly as we could but it just didn't work. Sweet Celestia."

After a silence that lasts an uncomfortable amount of time, I again look into the nursery and comment to Maneworthy "He's a precious little thing." There's that sad poignancy to accompany the death of a twin. I've never interacted much with the subtle reverence that's fixed upon twins, but I can't deny the impression as if one half of a whole is dead.

"He is," Maneworthy agrees with a slight hiccup of anguish. Then he lets out a small breath, followed by another, and another. Each round of breathing in and out becomes faster and louder than that which preceded it, as Maneworthy scrunches his eyes closed and bows his head. I observe this odd form of crying as Maneworthy continues to take his loud, whooping breaths, each exhale its own short wail. The sound doesn't seem to reach the interior of the nursery, as none of the foals stir in their cribs.

Maneworthy's crying stops just as quickly as it started. As he composes himself, I glance back down the hallway toward the nurse station, where I can see Twilight looking back at us, as well as one of the nurses peeking her head around the corner. When I turn to Maneworthy again, I find that instead of resuming the vigil over his son, he's looking at me.

There's yet another stretch of quiet between us before Maneworthy returns to watching over the nursery, during which I wonder if he's holding me responsible for his outburst, and then wonder if I hold myself responsible.

"Thanks for coming," he says quietly, with all the sombre composure of when I first arrived. "But I want to be alone now."

I nod once, certain that he can see the motion in the corner of his vision. "Give my best to Light Wing. Happy Hearth's Warming, Arthur," I mumble, knowing the gesture to be just as hollow as it feels.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Jacob," he replies in turn, and I walk back to the nurse station.

***

We exit onto the snowy sidewalk, and I lean against one of the slanted steel columns spaced along one of the front of the hospital. I pass the remaining half of my coffee to Twilight, to help her stay warm, and then close my eyes against snow carried on gusts of wind.

I allow my thoughts to fall into a disarray of numbed emotion in the face of the winter air, staying in such a way for far longer than is necessary or polite, then collect myself and open my eyes. I find Twilight's wingtip wrapped gently around my fingers - holding limbs, as I've titled it.

Almost reflexively, I allow my own side of the connection to slip, and our respective appendages return to our sides. After the waning of my initial surprise at finding us so scandalously positioned in full view of the hospital, I regret ending it. Twilight glances at me, but no disappointment shows on her face.

"Losing your foal two days before Hearth's Warming..." I finally say aloud. "...He's a smoking wreck. Poor guy."

"I hope he'll be okay," Twilight says. "I mean, what happened just before you came back was... moving."

I don't comment on Maneworthy's crying. I cried more than that when I first came here - and quite frequently, much louder and much stranger than what he did. Leave the men to their crying when it happens. With some - such as Maneworthy, I think - it's rarer than a blue moon and a shooting star on the same night.

"Maneworthy said that Light Wing is actually in a much better place than him. She's happier that the son survived. I hope she can help him."

"I hope you're right... and that she doesn't go downhill too," Twilight replies, and I pause to wonder how severely Light Wing might be stricken with post-natal depression when half of the delivery was stillborn.

"It's getting late," Twilight says, and a glance at my watch tells me that it's nearing nine. "...and I'd like to leave early tomorrow, if we can. Do you want to head back?"

"Yeah." I nod, pushing away from the column and accepting back the empty coffee cup from Twilight. She begins to move, but I hesitate, absorbing the visual of the two of us, alone on a midwinter night, framed from the back by a sterile white light that carries all the feelings of the winter season without the holiday warmth that should come with it

"And Merry Christmas," I say to the mare. She pauses to look at me, confused, but I only smile, shrug, and fall into step with her as we walk back to the castle. "It's a human thing."

We trudge through the snow that has collected on the sidewalks, now shrouded in that darkness of the night. I realize that, if we were to hold eachother now, nobody would see unless they came very close.

Slowly, shyly, I reach out with my hand and find the tip of Twilight's wing. It curls around my fingers as I take hold, and we keep walking without a single thought given to what sort of trouble would follow if someone were to come across us like this. I do it In part because I feel that I should after dropping the connection a few minutes before, and also in part because I'm dearly looking for something to ease the despondent sense of doom I feel after seeing Maneworthy, but mostly I do it because she's my marefriend, and it's what I want to do.

I smile at Twilight, and she smiles at me, and we keep walking toward Canterlot Castle, limb in limb.

Author's Note

Merry/Happy assorted religious holidays to you all!

It's been over a year since I put the wraps on this story, and quite a while since I retired from writing for the site, but I decided that I'd like to do a little holiday special this year, and show how things are a few months down the track. The time placement for this story is two days before Hearth's Warming, and I tried to get it done so that I could publish it on the same date. Obviously, I didn't quite make that deadline.

I think I edited this pretty well as I went, but it's still a little slapdash; I have to leave for work in about half an hour, so it's going up as-is. Let me know if you pick up any errors.

Happy new year, all!