At first, it was just a normal Saturday morning for Sunset Shimmer. She’d woken up at 10 a.m, brushed her teeth, made her bed, and already had plans to eat a late lunch with the rest of the girls. So, all that needed to be done was to have some breakfast.
The bacon-haired girl perused her fridge, seeing what would make for a good breakfast. Eventually, she spotted two pieces of uncooked bacon and two eggs.
“Can’t go wrong with a classic,” Sunset said to herself. She took the eggs and bacon strips from the fridge, as well as two pans in her cabinet, and made her way to the stove.
She had already placed the bacon strips in the pan and had them cooking, so all that was left was to crack the eggs.
“Sunset!” Pinkie screeched as she barged into the apartment as if she was a battering ram. "You have to hide me!"
Sunset Shimmer knew the company she kept. Ever since Canterlot High’s Fall Formal, she’d been grateful to the rest of the Rainbooms for even giving her the time of day. However, that friendship, she began to realize, might have a slight trade-off.
“It’s not even noon yet, Pinkie,” Sunset groaned, eyes not leaving the cooking bacon strips.
“Please, Sunset!” the eccentric pink student begged, nearly on the verge of tears. “I don’t know where else to go! The fuzz could find me at any moment!”
That got Sunset’s attention. She placed the two uncracked eggs aside.
“Wait? The cops are after you?” Out of all her friends, she’d never have picked Pinkie as the one to get arrested first. “Pinkie, what did you do?”
Unfortunately, Pinkie didn’t immediately respond to Sunset’s question, as her tears of guilt were already falling at a rate Sunset wasn’t sure was physically possible. Nevertheless, she realized her mistake.
She placed a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder, which was covered by her usual white outfit, and softened her voice. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
This helped Pinkie calm down, though the poor girl couldn’t stop herself from whimpering slightly.
“It’s okay, Pinkie. Just calm down, and tell me what happened,” Sunset soothed as she pulled Pinkie up from her begging position and led her to her table, where they both sat down.
Pinkie sniffled as she began.
I was going to the laundromat. Our washing machine had broken down because apparently, in Limestone's words, "A washing machine isn't meant to be a ride," and we wouldn’t be able to afford a new one until next month. Maud was supposed to be taking the clothes today, but she decided she wanted to go to some “stick convention” with, ugh, Mudbriar, so I ended up having to do it. I could have been planning a “Yay! We got a new washing machine!” party, for crying out loud!
Anyway, I had just put my clothes into the washing machine when I saw this… amazing shirt. It was a Power Ponies shirt that had Fili-Second on it, and instead of leaving dust as she ran, it had sparkles! Sparkles, Sunset!!
I’d never loved an article clothing more in my entire life! And… it was just right there! So, I… I…
“You stole it?!” Sunset exclaimed, leaning towards her friend to see if she indeed had the shirt in her possession.
“What? No.” Pinkie raised an eyebrow in confusion.
I asked the girl who was washing it—her name was Lyra and she actually goes to Canterlot High too—where she bought it.
I was like, “Say, where did you get this amazing shirt?!”
She told me she found at Kali’s! I honestly didn’t believe they sold shirts like that there!
Sunset felt an eye-twitch coming on.
“It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it. It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it,” Sunset repeated to herself in her mind.
“Okay, then what happened?” Sunset urged Pinkie to go on.
Pinkie sniffled as she continued. “Well…”
I’d just put my clothes into the dryer, and I noticed this small thing on the ground next to me. It looked kind of like a knife, but smaller, like it could fit in your pocket.
“You mean a pocket knife?” Sunset deadpanned.
“Yeah, that’s it!” Pinkie confirmed.
After I picked up the pocket knife, I noticed this guy… and… he didn’t look too friendly, Sunset.
He had this long grey beard and denim vest and I think he was missing a couple of teeth. I didn’t think it was possible to be more country than Applejack, but there he was. But he also had a look in his eye, like the one I get when I see a new cake in the window at Sugarcube.
He… started walking over to me… and I was so scared, Sunset. I don’t know what came over me, but I… I…
“Stabbed him?" Sunset asked, leaning forward and taking Pinkie’s hand. "Pinkie, killing in self-defense is legal in this state. No one would think any less of you."
Mouth agape, Pinkie pulled her hand back. “What? I didn't stab him.”
After a second had passed for her to register what Sunset just said, her mouth fell agape a second time. “Hold on! You’re from a magical pony-land where ‘peeved’ is a curse word. How would you even know that?”
Sunset looked down at the table, a disturbed look creeping onto her visage. “You don’t want to know.”
“What?” Pinkie asked, not being able to hear her friend’s soft utterance.
Realizing where she was, the bacon-haired girl lifted her head back up again as if nothing had happened. “Nothing,” she said quickly. “Go on.”
Turns out the pocket knife was his and he'd been looking for it.
He was all like, “You found my pocket knife! I thought I’d lost it. Thank you so much for picking it up.”
I handed it back to him and I was like “No problem.”
Sunset felt another eye twitch coming on. This was the trade-off of having such good friends…. they were bucking insane. At this rate, the police would probably have the place surrounded before Pinkie even finished her story.
Taking an opportunity to give herself a break from this lunacy, Sunset stood to check on her breakfast. The bacon strips were now exhibiting a combination of white and deep pinks that indicated they were just about done, but she realized that she had left the eggs next to the stove.
As she stared at the eggs, her expression suddenly relaxed, her tired frown slowly morphing into a resigned smile. She took a deep calming breath before turning back to the now-crying-again Pinkie Pie. She swore that girl was more bipolar than Jekyll and Hyde, but that's what made her so fun to be around… sometimes.
“Okay,” Sunset said, soothingly. “I’ll hide you.”
Pinkie wiped some tears of her cheeks and sniffled. “Really? But I haven't even finished the story yet."
Sunset smiled. “You're my friend, Pinkie. What other reason would I need? Sure, I’d be harboring a fugitive, but you girls are worth going to prison for.”
The oxygen was almost squeezed out of her lungs due to the strengths of Pinkie’s embrace.
“Thank you, Sunset!” Pinkie said, sniffling out the last of her tears.
“Anytime. You want some breakfast? I’m sure some food will make you feel better,” Sunset offered.
At the prospect of food, Pinkie immediately cheered up as if she hadn’t been through a traumatizing experience.
“Yes, please!” she enthusiastically replied.
Three minutes later
Sunset served them and they sat back at the table, each with a sunny-side-up egg and a piece of bacon. She gazed back at the two now-cracked eggshells sitting together on the counter, thinking to herself, “I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”
She looked back at Pinkie, who’d barely eaten anything and was pushing the egg around on her plate. "You feeling better, Pinkie?"
"Sorry." Pinkie glanced at the front door. "I guess I'm still kind of nervous the cops are going burst in here at any moment."
"Well, why don't you finish the story?" Sunset placed her utensils on her plate, giving the pink girl her undivided attention.
Sunset Shimmer knew the company she kept. Ever since the Fall Formal, she’s been grateful to the rest of the Rainbooms for even giving her the time of day. Sure, there were trade-offs, but then again, she had some too. In the end, a true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg. Even though they know you’re slightly cracked.
"Alright." Pinkie sniffed.
After I took my clothes out of the dryer, I noticed something fall out of one of my pants pockets. I looked to see what it was, hoping it wasn’t ruined. I mean, imagine if that were my phone or something. But, it wasn’t my phone.
After the clarification, Pinkie trailed off, looking down at her plate and tracing circles with her fork.
“Okaaaaaay, then what was in your pocket?” Sunset asked, goading Pinkie to continue.
She slammed the fork onto the, thankfully, paper plate before shouting as if she was confessing to a preacher, “It was five dollars and thirty-one cents! Money, Sunset! Money!”
I checked to make sure no one bore witness to my crime. Luckily, no one seemed to mind, which honestly seemed kind of weird, you’d think they would have called the cops on me right there and then. So, I quickly put my clothes back into my basket and high-tailed it out of there as fast as I could without drawing suspicion.
“And then?”
Pinkie took a moment to compose herself before she responded. “I rushed home and dropped off the basket so my sisters wouldn’t get suspicious and then I came here.”
Something wasn’t adding up. “So, let me know if I have this right. You’re saying the cops are after you—because you found money in your pants?” Sunset asked, her confusion mounting.
“No, Sunset!” Pinkie whimpered. “It’s worse. Much worse!” She pulled her feet up into the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I’m gonna get thrown in the slammer!”
“Pinkie, I’m not seeing the problem,” Sunset said, trying to maintain her calm demeanor. “What would you go to prison for?”
“Money laundering!”
Author's Note
Footnote: Kali's is supposed to be a stand-in for Kohl's, for those that were curious.
