A glass of cider clanked against the countertop in an adorable yet aggressive way. The contents were long gone, slurped up in a haze of embarrassment and frustration, bordering on anger. The clank signaled to Donut Joe that the lone occupant needed a refill, which he cheerfully obliged, being very careful to avoid eye contact with the butter mare currently moping on the stool.
Fluttershy was not happy. If you could take the words "regretful, angry, irritated, humiliated," and "ashamed," and blended them into a smoothie, you might get something a fraction of what the pegasus was experiencing. She did not have a good day. She was not going to pretend it was, even if that'd be healthier. And more interesting. And less mopey.
Fluttershy's head decided to make an intimate meeting with the counter, and seemed rather cross about the whole ordeal. Slamming her face into the counter did not clear away her mood like she hoped, and in fact only gave her a headache bordering on migraine. Though, that could've been too much cider.
She scoffed. There could never be too much, not at a time like this. She was sweaty, grumpy, irritable, red, now sore, and above all, tired. Drinking enough to knock herself out hardly seemed like a problem. Maybe a nice temporary solution, actually.
After she had quit her contract with Photo Finish (nice mare as she was), and had the whole "it's okay, I'm not mad" talky thing with Rarity, she was not yet safe. Fans- she shivered at that word -had stopped her on her way home, despite her various attempts to become one with the trees or walls, and join their secret society. After a series of photos, ten second talks, and copious squeeing, she had ended up here. Luckily for her, Donut Joe understood her plight, and had glared at anypony who went within ten hooves of Flutters.
It didn't stop them from shooting from behind the glass, though.
She shivered again. She would never be able to live this down. Her contract might be over, but those pictures were still available, since she technically never demanded them back or destroyed. She wouldn't anyway- Photo paid good money and time to have those booths set up and shot -but it was still incredibly embarrassing at best. She'd never be able to show her face in Ponyville again, maybe not in Equestria, maybe-
Somepony plopped beside her.
Fluttershy managed to blink her eyes and clear away enough blurriness to see the...thing that decided sitting next to her was a good idea. It kinda looked like a monkey, but...not. Curiously, Donut Joe hadn't shooed it away yet. Maybe he was busy with something else.
That'd certainly explain why her glass was empty for more than ten seconds.
Since she knew she wasn't going to be able to avoid this, she decided to have some courage for once and stare at the thing until she came up with the perfect greeting.
"Whuzzit...?"
Nailed it.
It responded with a rumbling of its throat that resembled a chuckle, and a semi-rolling of the eyes. Then it spoke. Its voice was deep and rich, but sounded...weary.
"Terrific first impression. You'll become very popular with that vernacular."
Fluttershy immediately hardened at the word "popular", and tried her best to grumble in annoyance. It came out more as a gentle whisper of neutrality, but it was an attempt.
"Don't...don't say that. I don't wanna be...popular."
It looked at her with a mixture of concern and amusement. "You sound like you've had enough of that cider to down an elephant. Must've been a bad day for ya?"
She tried to glare at it, but couldn't summon either the effort or anger. It's not like the creature had done anything to her, so why bother?
"Yes...it was. I had cameras and dresses and fans and just...ugh."
Now that she was at least somewhat aware of her surroundings, she had a better look at the thing. It was dressed rather nicely, with a thick black tuxedo that amplified its muscled structure and toned body.
Or at least, it would be dressed nicely, if its outfit wasn't currently torn halfway to Tartarus. The sleeves were completely gone, and the legs weren't much better. Dirt and bruises covered more of it than skin, and there was a lot of skin. Despite this apparent injured state, the creature looked less afraid or in pain and more...resigned.
It shrugged its shoulders. "Nice couple here hired me to be a caterer for their wedding. Guests took one look at me and decided I was a beast from the depths of... you know. Ran me outta there and ruined a very nice suit that is going to be difficult to explain to the owner I rented from. Didn't even get paid."
It was Shy's turn to look concerned, and she fully rotated to the creature. "Really? I mean, normally ponies aren't that violent. Why would they do something like that?"
Shrug. "I'm used to it. They typically don't like me for whatever reason. Probably has something to do with these." It briefly flashed its set of canines. Meat eater's teeth. If Flutters didn't deal with this on a daily basis, she'd admittedly be petrified.
She nodded. "I can see. Probably reminds them of manticores or timberwolves. Beasts like that have big, sharp teeth."
She turned back to her still-empty glass and frowned. "Still not an excuse to act like that, though. I thought we were better than that."
Yet another shrug. "It's not as bad as I make it out to be. Most of them don't attack outright. It's more of silent worry or fear and whispering behind my back."
It took out a silver canister from... somewhere, and sipped. "What's your problem, anyway? Most celebrities I know of here are either royalty or as close to it as possible. If you're popular," -she flinched- "then that should be amazing, right? Money, fame, etcetera."
She shook her head and scowled. "That's the problem. I'm not really a social pony. I have trouble saying hello most of the time. So cameras and fanfillying everywhere is a real-life nightmare."
He placed his eyebrow upon a higher y-axis value than the rest of his face. "Then how are you talking to me so easily? I'd think you would be crippled with fear."
It was her chance to shrug (they do that a lot.) "Must be the cider. Or I'm tired. Or both. I don't really care. I'm past being afraid or scared by it. Now I'm just in a mode of self-loathing."
The creature returned her with a grin flashing its immaculate teeth. "Sounds like an average day for me." It then put its hand toward her in a friendly gesture. "Name's Arthur, and I'm now your loathing companion for today."
Fluttershy grabbed the hand with her own hoof and lazily shook. "Fluttershy. My friends call me Flutters and my fans are in Tartarus somewhere."
Eyebrow raise. "Isn't that a bit harsh? It's not like they really meant any harm."
She blew a raspberry.
Flutters then looked at it more closely. "I feel like it's rude to ask, but... what are you?"
It then reclined on the stool (somehow) and gazed skyward. "The million dollar question. I'm what's known as a human. Doesn't mean much here, but that's that. And I'm also a guy, in case you were curious."
Fluttershy stared at him for a moment, then turned back to the counter. "I'd ask where you came from, but even I can hear the story in that line."
He actually laughed properly after hearing that. "Oh there's a story alright. But I'm sure you'd rather drink yourself to a coma in peace. I'll move."
Fluttershy wasn't certain why, but she was suddenly opposed to privacy. She grabbed his arm and softly tugged at it. "No, it's... nice. Having somepony to talk to who doesn't want to know about my newest album."
He sat back down and coughed. "Your funeral then. I'd rather save you from the bane of existence that is me, but if you want..."
She rolled her eyes and leaned slightly toward him. "Rather you than another fanfilly. That is not fun, I can promise you."
He went back to reclining on the stool. His eyes almost glowed weariness and age, supplemented by his gray hairs and slight wrinkles. He looked like he'd seen enough of life to regret ever wasting it.
Fluttershy couldn't draw her eyes away. She felt a certain warmth when she was looking at him, that didn't strike for other ponies or even her friends. It wasn't a bad feeling, just a strange one. It was like...like...
Wait, was this what they called a "crush"? Or maybe love? She wasn't so certain of that. After all, she'd known him for five minutes and he was a different species altogether. For all she knew, his kind didn't even have couple or marriage. And she'd never dated and likely never would, so why bother?
But still... She couldn't deny that his face was magnetizing, both for its structure and handsomeness she suddenly saw, and for the gentle yet aged nature she could see past it. Whoever Arthur was, he knew more about life than she likely ever would. And something about that drew her in.
He leaned less on the stool and looked back to her. "You look like you're thinking deep, and that's never good. What's tipping ya?"
She shook her head and stared back at him. "It's just... How old are you? You seem like you've seen a lot, and made a lot of mistakes."
He fully returned to his seat and put his fist onto his chin in thought. "Last time I counted, it was fifty-seven. I dunno if your years are the same as mine, but that's that." For some reason, the warmth grew. "I've seen a lot, yeah. Lots of friends, family, time, opportunity both grasped and missed...you know, the whole shtick." The warmth expanded even more.
He then glanced back over to her, again in amusement. "Why are you staring at me like that? I'd say you've seen a ghost, but I'm not sure if that's actually a thing here. And y- oh, you're blushing."
She was? That's explain the heat then. She slightly nodded, but did not drop the look. "It's just...you're so different. You came in, sat down next to somepony who could've yelled at or hit you, talked with me about our days, and made me feel at ease. And sometimes my friends can't do that. You're kind of special."
Now he looked genuinely confused. "Special? I know I'm the only human here- as far as I know -but I'm not that important. Besides, I'm sure there's other ponies around you'd be much more interested in. I'm a rotten egg in a haystack."
Why was she so certain of this? Was it the bad day and her shame coming full circle into unabashed confidence? Was it a new and unexpected change that gave her vigor? Was it too much cider clouding her brain? Likely all of the above.
"Well, why can't I like you? If somepony judges me or you, it's not like much would change. I'd just have somepony to be embarrassed with. Or ignore it with. Either works."
He cocked an eyebrow once more. "You're not in your right mind, are you?"
She was aware enough to shake her head, apparently.
He grinned. "Good, neither am I. I'm too tired to care if I do something stupid right now, and I have a feeling you're in the same way."
Her blush grew more intense, and she nodded. "Can we, umm... kiss? Before I'm clear-headed enough to regret this?" Seriously, why was she doing this?! This would end in only a bad way!
And yet...she didn't really care. She already made a bad decision today. Might as well go for two in one.
He didn't say anything, but his face moved closer to hers. Her face grew hot as she inched closer. This was going to go horribly, she knew it. She had no idea who he was, and yet she was going to kiss him based on nothing but momentary attraction. This was stupid. This was really, really stupid. She and Arthur likely would never speak to each other again, and she'd miss out on a new friend opportunity, all because cider and frustration was clouding her judgement.
Somehow, she didn't care.
Her muzzle inched closer and closer, her lips about to meet his for something they'd both regret. They could feel each other's warmth by now, and it only fueled the decision. Her lips and his were about to touch...
Suddenly, a rock fell on both of them and they died.
The End
Author's Note
Y'know, the best part about the trolling is that the tags and all are still completely accurate. I didn't lie to y'all, now did I? ;)
Imma work on something more serious though, so stay tuned for your regularly scheduled programming.
