Coarse Feathers and Gentle Scalesby Spettro138ChaptersA Feathery PillowRude AwakeningsBooks and HaybalesA Feathery PillowAuthor's Note So that's my first chapter. I hope that wasnt too painful to read. Tell me what you think below XD A Feathery Pillow The first shades of gold and violet began to grace the eastern sky as Celestia slowly began to raise her sun. It was still somewhat dark and the blinds covering the castle's windows made sure to that the bedroom's occupants got a few more hours of sleep. Two figures, a smaller one and a bigger one moved around in the bed as they seemed to be clutching each other in a romantic embrace. As the sun slowly but surely rose over the horizon, the room over the course of the next half hour became steadily brighter as dawn's first light peeked through the blinds. One soft pink ray of light from the clouds on the eastern horizon glided across the room and towards the bed as time through the early hour of morning passed. Soon the ray of light was upon the couple lying in bed as the boy moaned tiredly and tossed back towards his female partner. Both occupants of the bed started to stir, but tried to force themselves asleep once again. Their heads were pounding from whatever they had experienced the day before. The smaller occupant was confused after feeling a strange weight on his chest. It was heavy, muscular, and full of silky soft feathers. It was so luxurious that the boy found himself enjoying and questioning these new senses. 'Why does my head hurt so much?' the boy thought. He thought for a moment to ignore it and just lay back down on to his flat pillow, but found his right cheek laying up against something soft. Despite the fact that his head was still mush, this softness felt rather nice against his cheek. Definitely much softer than any pillow that he had rested his head on before. He hummed softly to himself as he scooted closer to this new pillow of his. “Hmmmmmmmm” a fused moan seeped into his ear drums. Immediately, his hand paused, still in the midst of a lost grip on the pillow. ‘What was that?’ the teen thought. Hesitant, he decided to further tighten his grip on the ‘pillow’. “Hmmmmmmmmmmm,” the same moan echoed in his ear again. His heart skipped a few beats, and then the circulation of the blood to his brain increased dramatically. Though it didn’t take much for him to realize that maybe, just maybe, whatever was in his hand and against his face wasn’t a pillow. The boy gulped, letting his grip loosen once more... and squeezed. “Stop that…” the voice whispered out. "What the heck?" the boy asked bewildered. The tension in his chest, as well as the beating of his heart added more into his anxiety, he felt something wrap around his waist and downward along his back. Still reluctant to open his eyes, he attempted to wiggle his way out. However, by the playful contempt that life had for him, the feathered muscled mass wrapped tighter around his body. He tried to wiggle harder out of the grip, but the mass locked on him tighter. Whatever was on him didn’t seem like it was going to let him go anytime soon. It was then in the midst of his climbing concern that there was a rather steady rhythm beating under his palm. He froze in place, leading all his energy to his thought processes, though it didn’t take much to shout in his mind that he should probably move his hand immediately. He slowly released the pillow, though now he knew that it definitely wasn’t a pillow. Again, life still had its crude humor against him, as another "claw" quickly gripped his wrist before he could depart. Spike let out a quiet, high-pitched whimper as he tried to break off the grip with fruitless results. Though not painful, the "claw" gripped harder on his wrist as he desperately tried to part. As much as he would’ve liked to use his other hand to free himself, the entire arm itself was pinned down by the mass which held his body in such a tight locking position, leaving him totally immobilized. “What the hell!” the voice whispered again, sending chills up the young teen’s spine. The boy's eyes opened completely to see a set of giant tired golden eyes staring back at him. They belonged to a griffon the boy had had seen hanging out with his friend Rainbow Dash and Pinkie. For two solid minutes, neither said a single word until the griffon broke the silence. "S-S-Spike?" the Griffon quivered under her breath. "G-G-Gilda?" the young Dragon asked nervously. He now wished that he listened to the protest in his brain to open his eyes. Lower down his abdomen he glanced at the muscular mass that pinned him and his arm. The word muscular turned out to be the right description for the mass, it was Gilda's arm and back leg which had grasped him tightly like a vice. The appendages were rippling with muscles under all of the thick layers of down and feathers. Spike blinked, gathering his thoughts in his mind. His body felt sore in several areas that he probably figured were from the party from the previous night. . His hand was currently holding good reason for a death sentence as it was pressed up against her chest. Her leg was wrapped around his waist in a tight grip that prevented him from escaping. The smaller drake raised his head back to Gilda’s eyes hoping for some kind of reasonable explanation. However, she shared the same bewildered expression plastered on her face as he did. He didn’t have to be an expert to know what was going to happen next. He may not know how exactly he got there, but his current position told him everything that’s to follow. He was in a bed with a hen he barely knew, touching her in places that would give him a metaphorical death sentence. Plus, he was in a position for instant retribution and pain. He tried to come up with a proper explanation to try to avoid the incoming pain that he believed was inevitable. Unfortunately, all that could come out of his mouth was a series of sounds and squeaks. “Uhhhhhhh….” he breathed out. The tension built up higher and higher in the room. He stared upwards at Gilda, and she stared back at him. She glanced at him, one side of his body to the other, tracing as to why the heck he was in her grasp. Becoming well aware that she had basically had him under half of her body, she instantly became that much more confused than she already was. “Uhhhhhh…” Gilda too replied. The griffon glanced at the drake’s face and back to his claw, presumed held against his will, then back to his face. The two opened their mouths to attempt to say something that would explain anything to their current predicament. Each time they opened their mouths, the other would close theirs, an awkward creak passing through their throats, then closing it to let the other speak, cycling back to closing their own. Eventually, Spike decided to close his mouth altogether. “Morning,” Gilda said in a mortified tone, breaking the cycle. “Morning,” Spike replied. The two teens stared at each other in the awkward silence.The tension of the silence was eating them from the inside far too much to continue further into the conversation, much so from moving, especially with how strange their current position was. On Spike’s side of the situation much it could possibly hurt him in the long run. He took a few moments to compile the best choice of words that may or may not result in an instant beating. “Ummm... can I have my hand back?” "Hm? Oh, yeah. sure." The griffon released her grip on him as they pushed away from each other and slowly sat up on the bed staring at each other with terrified expressions. "What did we do last night?" Spike asked. The gears in her head tried to turn only coming up with one horrifying conclusion. "Oh my Lady, did we?" she inferred with revulsion. "I....don't....think so?" Spike replied unconvincingly. She scanned herself from head to toe, looking for any tell tale signs of lewd activities that may have happened the previous night. After she thankfully found nothing of the sort, she gave a deep sigh of relief. "Well..."those" areas aren't sore or anything, so I think we're safe," she concluded with a chuckle. Gilda tried turning around to look at the room, but clutched her head when it started throbbing with intense pain. She laid back down with her face in the pillow, trying to relieve the pain. "Oh fuck, my head hurts so bad." Gilda whined. Spike looked around and found a multitude of things lying around. Various socks, bottles of booze, shirts, and...undergarments. "Why is Twilight's underwear out in the open?" he asked clearly mortified. "Ponies wear underwear?" Gilda asked in a muffled voice from the pillow. "Apparently they only wear them under dresses to help reduce wear and tear and chafing." he replied quietly. Spike's head also was still hurting, but he did his best to ignore it as he tried to process what had happened. Memories started coming back to him bit by bit of the previous night. Pinkie had thrown a party at the Castle for Gilda to celebrate her moving to Ponyville after they had reconciled in Griffonstone. Berry Punch brought nine dozen bottles of booze with her as the dancing began to get underway. He remembered that he began talking with Gilda about everything now that she was a lot more friesndly to approach. She accepted his offer for a dance and he started having fun. Gilda twisted his arm into trying alcohol for the first time, even after Twilight's protests, and everything after that became a blur. The only thing he could remember were scattered images and a pineapple being thrown at Twilight's head. "I think we were throwing you a party last night," Spike groaned as he rubbed his aching head. "Classic case of a hangover." she groaned back. "Congratulations kid, you've just had your first." "Twilight is gonna gut me like a trout." the drake lamented as he put his face in his claws. "My Dad threw me a party after having my first hangover." "Well you griffons are really out there. When it comes to hardcore stuff." "Yeah, I guess we are." "I'd better quickly clean up. If she thinks we did...."things", she's gonna toss me in the same cell as Tirek," Spike stated with shrunken pupils. Spike quickly picked up the room despite the protests in his head and his stomach in an attempt to avoid Twilight's wrath. Unfortunately, he immediately regretted all of the running around as his stomach went into a code red as he ran to the bathroom and heaved his entire stomach's contents. The heaving continued for five minutes as Spike completely evacuated all of his lunch. His entire body felt like it was rejecting itself as he sweated violently and alternated between wet and dry heaves. "Got enough room for two faces in that toilet, short and handsome?" Gilda quipped weakly with a sweet smile. Spike turned around to see the disheveled Gilda up and about. She was holding her stomach and looking paler than usual as he knew what was about to happen. He held his mouth closed for a few seconds as he moved towards the tub to continue his heaving while Gilda took his place. They continued this for a few more minutes until their bodies relieved themselves of the discomfort and the noxious chemical that had invaded their systems.. Turning the faucet on slightly, Spike washed the offending stomach fluids down the drain as Gilda flushed. They looked at each other for a few seconds until they began to painfully laugh at the situation they had gotten themselves into. "Well, I think we should check up on the others." Spike groaned. "They are probably in worse condition than we were." "Yeah, Dash can hold her liquor fine, but she goes overboard," she chuckled. "Last time we drank like this, she woke up in a Hoofball team's locker room. Upside down on top of one of the locker's, mind you." The duo hobbled their way out of the bedroom and into the hallway, finding everywhere completely trashed. Rolls of toilet paper, streamers, balloons, and empty bottles of cider were thrown about all over the marble floors. They made their way down the hall and towards the main entrance where they vaguely remember the party occurring the previous night. Every once in a while they would come across a familiar pony laying right in the middle of the hallway, with their breath reeking of alcohol. Making it outside into the main entryway, the duo found a mess of ponies, cider bottles, confetti, cake, and lingerie in places that they should never be remotely associated with. Some of Spike's friends were even more worse for wear as they found Fluttershy sleeping in the bottom drawer of a dresser, Pinkie Pie could be seen hanging off of a big ribbon strung across the room, and Rainbow they saw sleeping in between the rungs of the castle's ornate entryway chandelier. Rarity and Twilight were no where to be seen except for Applejack who looked the best out of all of them. She seemed to be sleeping soundly in a chair by the wall with her hat leaning over her face. "Holy crap!" Gilda exclaimed. Spike fainted dead away at the sight. Rude AwakeningsAuthor's Note This fic is just one of those things where I'm just saying, "Screw it. I'm bored, exhausted, and I don't have the attention span for any other kinds of stories, so I'm just gonna write whatever demented thing comes into my head." XD I hope it is entertaining though. Rude Awakenings How would one describe a hangover? Rusted, worn down, irregular gears creaking at each turn, breaking a tooth every now and then. The brain whining like a dying motor under a heavy load, lowering the stress, then suddenly increasing from slight to dramatic. The pumping of hot, thick, pasty goo flowing in the veins in place of the blood in his brain. Neural sparks in line, in a painful domino effect, systematically taken down like some kind of cellular genocide. The young drake was feeling all of these things and more today waking up in odd places with little to no explanation. Spike began to stir once again as he tried to get a grasp on what was around him. The sight of the royal entrance hall in disarray disturbed him deeply. Seeing it once when he entered the room was hard enough, but confirming that it was actually real just added more to his distress. He took great pride in the cleanliness of Twilight's homes, whether it was the Library, their old Canterlot home, or even the newest castle. Dozens of unpleasant smells bombarded his senses, coming from all over the hall. Two drunk stallions by the entry doors, Thunderlane and Dumb Bell, were bleeding from their noses and sleeping in puddles of their own vomit, forcing Spike to swallow back down bile before he became sick to his stomach again. Gilda had a bit of an uncomfortable look on her face and looked like she wanted to get out of there as soon as she possibly could. She did like the small drake in a friendly way now, but she didn't feel like being responsible for anything at the moment. Especially not with a brutal, head pounding hangover, like the one she was going through right now. "Well, as fun as all of this was kid, I need to skedaddle on home before your Sis comes in and thinks I mauled your privates. I'm not very much good at helping ponies clean things anyway," she snickered. "Maybe her punishment will come in eight months when I start laying green and purple eggs." Spike's face turned as red as a tomato as Gilda started laughing raucously at her own joke and made her way out the front door. Spike shook his head, wiping the words from his mind. However, no matter how much he tried to brush it off, the memory of the previous night was burned in his brain. He instantly slapped himself, attempting to whack the memory out... on the side of his bruised head. In place of the ‘softness’ came feelings of instantaneous regret Although the hit wasn’t too hard, the buzzing in his head made it proportional the magnitude of two hammers lightly bashing his head. Painful wasn't really the word to use in his opinion, it was leaning more to a large bloating in the side of his head. "Don't even joke about stuff like that!" Spike snapped completely embarrassed. "Do you know what that mare could do to me if she heard that?" It was too late though as she had already left through the front door. Spike was left alone with the catastrophe before him, groaning at the thought that he might have to clean up everything by himself. As if to answer his question, Pinkie rolled in her sleep and fell off of the giant ribbon. Spike gasped in fear and frantically looked around for something to cushion her fall. While she was falling, Pinkie seemed to remain fast asleep in a position like she was in a bed. Spike grabbed one of the castle's ornate tapestries as he stretched it out towards Pinkie. The tactic worked as she slid down the tapestry and across the tiles until she stopped at the wall. The force of her stop sent her bottom half over her head until her back hoof tapped the back of her head. The drake sighed in relief that Pinkie was safe for the moment, though confused as to how she was still asleep. The universe decided to throw Spike another hay maker as Rainbow Dash sleepily rolled off of the chandelier and began to plummet down towards the solid crystal coffee table thirty five feet below. He tried pulling the tapestry towards Rainbow, but it got caught on a piece of furniture, forcing the drake to take more drastic measures. He hopped up on to the coffee table just in time for Rainbow Dash to smash flank first into his head and skip off like a rock. She slid across the floor and spun like a top, not stirring for a moment until she was halted by the folded over Pinkie Pie. Her face landed right next to Pinkie's hind quarters which was a disaster waiting to happen. The pink mare's stomach was not about to tolerate all of the sudden movement as it began to grumble and growl loudly. Everything around Spike seemed to slow down to a crawl when Pinkie Pie let loose with enough gas to choke an elephant. The sound was loud, long and echoed through the entire castle like church bells. Wincing and holding his nose, he braced himself for everypony's reaction as he clenched his eyes shut for ten solid seconds. He waited and waited for everyone to wake up coughing and yelling, but strangely enough, most everyone remained out cold. Just with an added face of severe distress from having to smell Pinkie's noxious gas. As if reacting to the smell, Rainbow instinctively rolled away from the pink mare in her sleep and began to gag like crazy. Diving into "ground zero" Spike held his breath and dragged Rainbow away from the offending smell until she was in an adjacent hallway. It seemed to work as Rainbow's face turned only into mild discomfort. He grabbed a nearby flowerpot and placed it on her, hoping it would provide some measure of comfort until she woke up. After that series of catastrophes had ended, he turned his attention back to the rest of the entrance hallway and the ponies there, not liking the idea of having more and more problems to deal with as the morning went on. "Oh boy," Spike lamented as he looked for any pony who might be able to help him. Applejack then began to stir as her darkened eyelids slowly began to open. The chair she had been sleeping in felt a lot harder than it actually was and her body felt heavy and sluggish. Her surprise at the sight all around her was overshadowed by the lack of memory as to how the entrance hallway ended up in such a state. "Ughhh," the blonde earth pony groaned. "What done darn danglet happened?" "Oh, good morning Applejack," Spike said as quietly as he could muster. "Spike? What in Celestia's gosh darn name happened here?" "You don't remember? Wow, you must have had more than usual." "More what? Owww." Applejack asked as she started rubbing her temples in pain. "I remember coming to the castle for the Welcome to Ponyville party Pinkie set up for Gilda but that's about it." "I think someone brought a bunch of alcohol and everyone lived to regret it, including me," Spike replied nervously. The farmer straightened her hat so as to make sure that she was hearing a bit more properly. "You drank last night?" Applejack asked with disappointment. "Spike, I may not be Twilight, but I would never allow a boy as young as you to be drinking, let alone my own sister, Celestia forbid." By the way she was talking, Spike did not like where this particular conversation was going. "Can we just keep this a secret from Twilight please? She'll kill me if she finds out I got drunk and woke up in bed with Gilda." Spike didn't realize what he was saying until it was too late as he clasped his hands over his mouth. He just watched as Applejack's face reddened. Sounds came out of her mouth that were little more than creaking squeaks and groans. "Didn't you have that little crush on Rarity still?" she asked confused. "H-How and where did you have the time to....you know what? As long as you promise to help Twilight and I clean all of this up, I won't tell her about....that. As long as she doesn't ask me about it. I'm gonna have to tell her about you drinking though. If I don't allow my own little sister to get away with drinking alcohol, I sure as heck not gonna let one of my best friends get away with that." "I...think I can live with that." Spike replied morosely. Spike then shambled over to the side of the room and grabbed a nearby broom leaning up against the wall and started sweeping up various pieces of trash. Soon, a few more ponies began to wake up not remembering what happened the previous night as they left the castle to return to their homes to recover from their hangovers. Spike was unable to locate Twilight in the entry hall which led him to believe that she may have been in either her bedroom or the throne room. Making his way in that particular direction, he repeatedly assured himself that Twilight was too level headed and responsible to allow herself to get into any such scandalous situation. He tried to remember what happened to her the previous night but unfortunately, everything else kept coming back to a complete blank. The only thing he was able to vaguely recollect was what happened between himself and...Gilda. Pushing the thought out of his mind until a more opportune time, he focused on finding Twilight's room. Soon enough after going back down seven long hallways still filled with messy reminders of the party the night before, he found the main royal bedroom door. Typically, if it were any other door in the castle, it would be next to impossible for anyone except Twilight herself to properly tell the difference between each door. However, the royal master bedroom door was one of the largest and most ornate in the house. Its gilded solid silver knob shined brightly in the morning sun as Spike proceeded to approach it, fearing whatever he was going to discover on the other side. The young teen proceeded to turn the doorknob, hearing the lock and mechanism click and when it was fully turned, he tried to open it as slowly as possible. However, opening it fast or slow wouldn't have helped him avoid the sea of books that flooded out of Twilight's bedroom. Spike was lifted right off of his tiny feet all the way down one of the hallways faster than a locomotive. The opposite wall rapidly approached as Spike screamed and braced himself for the seemingly inevitable impact against the reinforced magical crystal of the castle. Quite thankfully, his acceleration began to slow down bit by bit until his face was within mere inches of the wall. Opening one of his eyes, he saw that he was no longer in any danger as he let out a long sigh of relief. However, his confusion only doubled when a second smaller wave from the bedroom carried a fully drunk Twilight with a book called Apples and Bananas by Time Turner clutched between her pearly white teeth. She was wearing on her head what appeared to be a shark fin swimming toy and had a pineapple had been duck taped to the fur on her chest. Her mane was frizzy and knotted sticking up every which way and her tail was even worse for wear as it looked as poofy as Pinkie Pie's mane. The mare was still sound asleep, snoring away loudly without a care in the world. The time for using that word that he had heard Rainbow and Gilda use on a daily basis was now, though he didn't expect any consequences would ever come of it. It was the only word he could use to express his feelings in the current situation that he was in. "Oh fuck me." Books and HaybalesSpike's morning was turning more and more chaotic as each solitary second ticked by. He could tell you with absolute assurance that he never expected to wake up that morning beside a sweaty griffon or be drowned in a literal sea of books and paper created by his hapless adoptive mother. How she created the sea of books was another matter entirely he would have to solve later. His only hope that everyone else would be easier to find and less cataclysmic. Thankfully, all of the other doors in that corridor were closed, blocking the ocean of literature from bulldozing its way through the rest of the castle. His first course of action was to place Twilight in a safe enough spot until she woke up from her severe hangover. Which would undoubtedly prove to be quite painful for the alicorn when it happens. With as much strength as he could muster, he pulled the alicorn's fore hooves over his shoulders and held them close as he dove down towards the floor. He remembered the layout of the castle well enough to get around, even with the new blockages that prevented him from seeing anything. He "swam" down a couple of hallways until he found the place that he was looking for. He could feel Twilight gripping even tighter as she groaned in her sleep. When he dove down deep enough, he was able to touch the floor with both feet. Pushing away books, he felt around the walls of the castle until he found an ornate door. He pushed in and dashed inside before slamming the door closed before a flood of books could come careening inside. Turning around, he was thankful that he was correct in his assumption and found Twilight's royal bedroom. Even now, Spike was still not used to how spacious and large the bedroom was. He felt his arms burn as he dragged the heavy alicorn across the tiled floor. Spike swung her up on to the bed and threw the covers over her, hoping she would sleep off the rest of her hangover. Looking over to his own bed, Spike lumbered over hoping to get in a little more shuteye to alleviate the headache that he was still feeling. Just as he stepped into the mattress and was about to lay down for a nap, he could hear the tell tale signs of his caretaker stirring. "Ughh...Spike? Are you awake?" the alicorn groaned. The drake sighed in somewhat disappointment, staring at his satin blankets longingly before turning to Twilight to accept his fate for the day. "Sure am!" Spike exclaimed sarcastically. "What in Celestia's name happened last night? My head is pounding!" Twilight whined. Spike went over to her curtains and opened them up suddenly, revealing blinding light that made the alicorn's headaches even worse. Twilight tried covering her face with her pillow but the pain just kept on disturbing her. "The party last night for Gilda got out of hoof," Spike explained. "You might want to clear the corridors of your library before you go outside." "Oh...yeah. The party. I remember welcoming Gilda at the surprise but then its all a blank." Spike snorted at that. "Probably for the best. Everyone is a mess out there." "Wh-what do you mean clear out the corridors?" she asked painfully. "All your books have flooded into the halls and now there's a sea of books in the hallways of the castle," Spike replied nonchalantly. "WHAT???" Twilight shrieked as she jumped out of bed, but immediately regretted it. Twilight felt her head and her stomach scream for relief and felt bile start working its way up her throat. Spike calmly pointed to her bathroom as he fixed up Twilight's bed and took off the soiled sheets while the alicorn sped inside and heaved all her stomach's contents into her toilet. “... Sick... buaaaaghhh... Can't... bluuuuuuuu... Stop... uuuuuuugggg... Thinking... gggluuuuuu...” Twilight was panting heavily between heaves, straining to utter even single words. “Eating uaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh...” The drake knew she wouldnt stop heaving, so he had to jump in and do something drastic to help her out. He calmly walked into the bathroom and grabbed ahold of Twilight's face. Slap! - Her head rocked to the side, a sharp stinging sensation on the side of her face. Slap! - Again the world rocked, and her face stung even more. Twilight was bewildered and confused. Slap! - Suddenly Twilight realized that Spike was positioned in front of her, hitting her with his claw. She focused her attention on him. She saw his hand was raised to strike her yet again, but it failed to strike. Abruptly he lowered his arm and backed away. A look of concern appeared on his face. “Feeling better?” "Thank you," she replied bluntly after shaking herself off. The drake wanted to laugh at her expense, but he knew better and kept it to himself. Ignoring his own discomfort, he took Twilight's dirty bed sheets and flung them into a nearby laundry hamper. He then took a trash can and picked up every last bit of offending party junk that had made its way into the alicorn's bedroom. After Twilight had cleaned herself out, she was forced to exit her castle out of her bedroom balcony to get the full extent of the damages that had been done by the previous night's festivities. She flew about a half a mile away with Spike on her back to see the castle in its entirety. "Alright, let's see what we got ourselves in--to" Twilight started as she turned around and dropped her jaw at the sight before her. From top to bottom, there wasnt a single inch of the castle that wasnt covered in some form of streamer, toilet paper, or glitter. Even the main spire of the castle had not been spared from the onslaught of party materials. The front entrance was the worst of all. It looked like twelve separate parties had taken place just outside of her castle front doors. Dozens of ponies were splayed out all over her front lawn. Some of them were already waking up, feeling the full extent of their hangovers. Twilight was at a complete loss for words.She could not fathom as to how her home was bombarded like this but Spike provided a simple blunt answer to her internal question. "Pinkie and Rainbow plus cider and sugar." Spike said unenthusiastically. "Most likely what happened." Twilight looked back at Spike sitting on her haunches incredulously, "How are YOU calm about all of this? You're acting like this is a normal every day occurrence!" "With Pinkie's parties, kinda yeah." he shrugged. "Yeah, but this is my castle! I cant let the princesses see my castle like this!" she panicked. Continuing to look around, she spotted the "sea" of books that Spike had described through many of the castle's corridor windows. "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!" Twilight opened one of the corridor windows and barely dodged being buried once again under her precious reading materials. "Oh, I am so glad I reinforced all my books a few weeks ago with that damage resistance spell." Twilight focused carefully, ignited her horn and touched one of the books. Spike saw that whatever she was about to try was putting an enormous strain on her body. She was sweating profusely as her horn began to glow brighter and brighter. A book glowed pink and sent an aura all through the other books until all the books in her castle were enveloped. Flashing her spell to activate it, the books were teleported out of her hallways in an instant and back into the castle library. When the deed was completed, she fell back onto her plot and started panting heavily. "I... huff..should... huff...probably... huff...wait till...huff...I recover before teleporting that many objects like that again." Twilight wheezed out. "Let's go inside and help everyone out." Spike suggested. "They should all be getting home. Then we should probably eat before we...ya know. Clean up." "Agreed." Meanwhile, across town one particular griffon was ready to climb into her own bed and sleep her head pains away. However, she had much luggage to unpack and a house she needed to start furnishing. It would be her first official day in Ponyville and despite how much she disliked manual labor, she knew that she couldnt live in an unfurnished house. Gilda was still feeling quite under the weather from her hangover and it affected her balance severely. She wobbled back and forth as she tried to walk down the street. Everything was making her feel dizzy, but thankfully she was able to make it to her new house without injuring herself. Her vision was still heavily blurred and cloudy from her abrupt awakening in Spike's bed just a half hour earlier. The fresh morning air made her eyes water slightly, making everything within her sight look like a poorly made watercolor painting. She was able to make out the streets she needed to go down to reach her home easily enough. Even though it still made her feel nauseous just to move around. While walking, she thought back to the poor traumatized reptilian boy she had woken up with. At first she was worried that they might have gotten into unsavory shenanigans while under the influence. However, she was quite relieved when she learned the opposite. The drake Spike was quite polite and gentlemanly to her despite the bizarre circumstances of their first official meeting. She could only imagine that he remained that way the previous night. Up until she had reconnected with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, Gilda wasnt much into making friends with anyone. She was cold and lonely for most of her life. Even in flight school as the only griffon there, she didnt know the proper way to socialize with any of the ponies. As the newest resident of Ponyville, it was almost a certainty that she would have to now. 'Maybe I ought to go back later after purple and green has cleaned himself up and see what he's up to. It might be boring, but it won't be bad being around the little wimp I guess.' she thought to herself. Suddenly, she found herself stumbling over something rough and scratchy as she slipped and slammed front side first into a small wagon that had rolled into her path. Before darkness met her sight, she swore she saw something small, purple and orange controlling the wagon. "What the heck?" a tiny raspy voice said. "Aw man, I hope you didnt ruin those! I need them for a stunt course." Gilda felt her head stuffed into what seemed to be a pile of hay bales stacked up on top of each other. "I'm glad your hay bales take priority over my stomach," Gilda groaned with discomfort. She tried to push herself out of the wagon, but it started to rock and buckle. "Wait! Wait Wait!" the little voice pleaded. She was too late as Gilda slid forward into the wagon even more and felt herself moving. The user of the wagon, Ponyville's resident scooter rider Scootaloo tried jumping to the handle to save the griffon, but just barely missed and fell on to her face. She lifted her head and her eyes turned to pin pricks as the wagon started moving towards the town's only steep hill road. Mustering what little strength she had in her body, Gilda lifted her head out just enough to see the catastrophe that was about to happen before her stomach dropped into her feet. "Oh fuck!!!!!" Bouncing on any small obstruction the cart came across, the rolling wagon felt more like a bumper car trying to kill her. The constant movement did nothing pleasant for her stomach as she was tossed up and down. She could hear several voices passing by in the wind, presumably from some of the residents of Ponyville that were lucky enough not to have been caught in a hangover at the party. "Hey!' "What in the world?!" "Watch it!" "Ass HOOOLLLLE!" Scootaloo panicked as she watched the chaos unfold. Vendors were plowed into and destroyed, benches, crates, and even the occasional table was crushed by the wagon barreling down the hillside. The filly's heart dropped when she saw a group of older mares walking across the street in the direct path of the wagon. She leaped on to her scooter and tried catching up with the wagon before disaster struck. It worked somewhat as her speed picked up rather rapidly, allowing her to almost grab the handle. Scootaloo panicked as the voices of the older mares getting closer and closer. "Did you pick up the strudels for rummy night Tin Cell?" "Oh yes! I got it early yesterday with my coupons. That Applejack was raised well to offer such good deals." "Too bad she's probably drunk this morning again." "Oh, she's just at that age dearie, she'll grow out of it." Gilda suddenly felt a sudden violent jolt which sent her flying out of the wagon over a hundred feet away and splashing into the Town Square Fountain. The griffon landed with a splat as her limbs were all spread out. The impact felt like hitting concrete which stung like crazy. Scootaloo was at a loss for words when she saw the wagon be suddenly stopped by a hidden rock in the road and Gilda flying through the air. The older mares just continued across the street normally like they had not even acknowledged their danger or Scootaloo's presence. She winced in empathy and pain as she witnessed the griffon splatter like a bug on a windshield against the water of the fountain. "Miss Gilda!" Scootaloo cried out in worry. She ran over to the fountain and peered in where she saw Gilda sitting there in the ice cold water with a miserable look on the hen's face. "Are you gonna be alright? I'm so sorry!" The griffon turned to the filly with a sick, tired look in her eyes. "Hm? Oh...hi. You must be Scootaloo. Rainbow told me a lot about you. "Are you alright Miss Gilda? Sorry about the wagon" "Yeah, I think I'll be alright. No prob at all squirt. I just need to... find a place to lie down before I...before...bleeaghhhuurruggle...blleeeuaaagh..bluugh.. blugh...blugggggh Scootaloo could only try to hold in her own lunch as Gilda expelled even more of her own into the bushes outside the rim of the fountain.. Presumably from weeks back that she had completely forgotten was left in her own stomach. As she went through more of her own misery, she had only hoped the castle was better off than she was. Next Time: Griffon House Call Author's Note Sorry this took so long guys, my other fics have been keeping me preoccupied. Here's some more morning shenanigans with drunk ponies and griffons before I start getting into the meat of the story.
A Feathery PillowAuthor's Note So that's my first chapter. I hope that wasnt too painful to read. Tell me what you think below XD A Feathery Pillow The first shades of gold and violet began to grace the eastern sky as Celestia slowly began to raise her sun. It was still somewhat dark and the blinds covering the castle's windows made sure to that the bedroom's occupants got a few more hours of sleep. Two figures, a smaller one and a bigger one moved around in the bed as they seemed to be clutching each other in a romantic embrace. As the sun slowly but surely rose over the horizon, the room over the course of the next half hour became steadily brighter as dawn's first light peeked through the blinds. One soft pink ray of light from the clouds on the eastern horizon glided across the room and towards the bed as time through the early hour of morning passed. Soon the ray of light was upon the couple lying in bed as the boy moaned tiredly and tossed back towards his female partner. Both occupants of the bed started to stir, but tried to force themselves asleep once again. Their heads were pounding from whatever they had experienced the day before. The smaller occupant was confused after feeling a strange weight on his chest. It was heavy, muscular, and full of silky soft feathers. It was so luxurious that the boy found himself enjoying and questioning these new senses. 'Why does my head hurt so much?' the boy thought. He thought for a moment to ignore it and just lay back down on to his flat pillow, but found his right cheek laying up against something soft. Despite the fact that his head was still mush, this softness felt rather nice against his cheek. Definitely much softer than any pillow that he had rested his head on before. He hummed softly to himself as he scooted closer to this new pillow of his. “Hmmmmmmmm” a fused moan seeped into his ear drums. Immediately, his hand paused, still in the midst of a lost grip on the pillow. ‘What was that?’ the teen thought. Hesitant, he decided to further tighten his grip on the ‘pillow’. “Hmmmmmmmmmmm,” the same moan echoed in his ear again. His heart skipped a few beats, and then the circulation of the blood to his brain increased dramatically. Though it didn’t take much for him to realize that maybe, just maybe, whatever was in his hand and against his face wasn’t a pillow. The boy gulped, letting his grip loosen once more... and squeezed. “Stop that…” the voice whispered out. "What the heck?" the boy asked bewildered. The tension in his chest, as well as the beating of his heart added more into his anxiety, he felt something wrap around his waist and downward along his back. Still reluctant to open his eyes, he attempted to wiggle his way out. However, by the playful contempt that life had for him, the feathered muscled mass wrapped tighter around his body. He tried to wiggle harder out of the grip, but the mass locked on him tighter. Whatever was on him didn’t seem like it was going to let him go anytime soon. It was then in the midst of his climbing concern that there was a rather steady rhythm beating under his palm. He froze in place, leading all his energy to his thought processes, though it didn’t take much to shout in his mind that he should probably move his hand immediately. He slowly released the pillow, though now he knew that it definitely wasn’t a pillow. Again, life still had its crude humor against him, as another "claw" quickly gripped his wrist before he could depart. Spike let out a quiet, high-pitched whimper as he tried to break off the grip with fruitless results. Though not painful, the "claw" gripped harder on his wrist as he desperately tried to part. As much as he would’ve liked to use his other hand to free himself, the entire arm itself was pinned down by the mass which held his body in such a tight locking position, leaving him totally immobilized. “What the hell!” the voice whispered again, sending chills up the young teen’s spine. The boy's eyes opened completely to see a set of giant tired golden eyes staring back at him. They belonged to a griffon the boy had had seen hanging out with his friend Rainbow Dash and Pinkie. For two solid minutes, neither said a single word until the griffon broke the silence. "S-S-Spike?" the Griffon quivered under her breath. "G-G-Gilda?" the young Dragon asked nervously. He now wished that he listened to the protest in his brain to open his eyes. Lower down his abdomen he glanced at the muscular mass that pinned him and his arm. The word muscular turned out to be the right description for the mass, it was Gilda's arm and back leg which had grasped him tightly like a vice. The appendages were rippling with muscles under all of the thick layers of down and feathers. Spike blinked, gathering his thoughts in his mind. His body felt sore in several areas that he probably figured were from the party from the previous night. . His hand was currently holding good reason for a death sentence as it was pressed up against her chest. Her leg was wrapped around his waist in a tight grip that prevented him from escaping. The smaller drake raised his head back to Gilda’s eyes hoping for some kind of reasonable explanation. However, she shared the same bewildered expression plastered on her face as he did. He didn’t have to be an expert to know what was going to happen next. He may not know how exactly he got there, but his current position told him everything that’s to follow. He was in a bed with a hen he barely knew, touching her in places that would give him a metaphorical death sentence. Plus, he was in a position for instant retribution and pain. He tried to come up with a proper explanation to try to avoid the incoming pain that he believed was inevitable. Unfortunately, all that could come out of his mouth was a series of sounds and squeaks. “Uhhhhhhh….” he breathed out. The tension built up higher and higher in the room. He stared upwards at Gilda, and she stared back at him. She glanced at him, one side of his body to the other, tracing as to why the heck he was in her grasp. Becoming well aware that she had basically had him under half of her body, she instantly became that much more confused than she already was. “Uhhhhhh…” Gilda too replied. The griffon glanced at the drake’s face and back to his claw, presumed held against his will, then back to his face. The two opened their mouths to attempt to say something that would explain anything to their current predicament. Each time they opened their mouths, the other would close theirs, an awkward creak passing through their throats, then closing it to let the other speak, cycling back to closing their own. Eventually, Spike decided to close his mouth altogether. “Morning,” Gilda said in a mortified tone, breaking the cycle. “Morning,” Spike replied. The two teens stared at each other in the awkward silence.The tension of the silence was eating them from the inside far too much to continue further into the conversation, much so from moving, especially with how strange their current position was. On Spike’s side of the situation much it could possibly hurt him in the long run. He took a few moments to compile the best choice of words that may or may not result in an instant beating. “Ummm... can I have my hand back?” "Hm? Oh, yeah. sure." The griffon released her grip on him as they pushed away from each other and slowly sat up on the bed staring at each other with terrified expressions. "What did we do last night?" Spike asked. The gears in her head tried to turn only coming up with one horrifying conclusion. "Oh my Lady, did we?" she inferred with revulsion. "I....don't....think so?" Spike replied unconvincingly. She scanned herself from head to toe, looking for any tell tale signs of lewd activities that may have happened the previous night. After she thankfully found nothing of the sort, she gave a deep sigh of relief. "Well..."those" areas aren't sore or anything, so I think we're safe," she concluded with a chuckle. Gilda tried turning around to look at the room, but clutched her head when it started throbbing with intense pain. She laid back down with her face in the pillow, trying to relieve the pain. "Oh fuck, my head hurts so bad." Gilda whined. Spike looked around and found a multitude of things lying around. Various socks, bottles of booze, shirts, and...undergarments. "Why is Twilight's underwear out in the open?" he asked clearly mortified. "Ponies wear underwear?" Gilda asked in a muffled voice from the pillow. "Apparently they only wear them under dresses to help reduce wear and tear and chafing." he replied quietly. Spike's head also was still hurting, but he did his best to ignore it as he tried to process what had happened. Memories started coming back to him bit by bit of the previous night. Pinkie had thrown a party at the Castle for Gilda to celebrate her moving to Ponyville after they had reconciled in Griffonstone. Berry Punch brought nine dozen bottles of booze with her as the dancing began to get underway. He remembered that he began talking with Gilda about everything now that she was a lot more friesndly to approach. She accepted his offer for a dance and he started having fun. Gilda twisted his arm into trying alcohol for the first time, even after Twilight's protests, and everything after that became a blur. The only thing he could remember were scattered images and a pineapple being thrown at Twilight's head. "I think we were throwing you a party last night," Spike groaned as he rubbed his aching head. "Classic case of a hangover." she groaned back. "Congratulations kid, you've just had your first." "Twilight is gonna gut me like a trout." the drake lamented as he put his face in his claws. "My Dad threw me a party after having my first hangover." "Well you griffons are really out there. When it comes to hardcore stuff." "Yeah, I guess we are." "I'd better quickly clean up. If she thinks we did...."things", she's gonna toss me in the same cell as Tirek," Spike stated with shrunken pupils. Spike quickly picked up the room despite the protests in his head and his stomach in an attempt to avoid Twilight's wrath. Unfortunately, he immediately regretted all of the running around as his stomach went into a code red as he ran to the bathroom and heaved his entire stomach's contents. The heaving continued for five minutes as Spike completely evacuated all of his lunch. His entire body felt like it was rejecting itself as he sweated violently and alternated between wet and dry heaves. "Got enough room for two faces in that toilet, short and handsome?" Gilda quipped weakly with a sweet smile. Spike turned around to see the disheveled Gilda up and about. She was holding her stomach and looking paler than usual as he knew what was about to happen. He held his mouth closed for a few seconds as he moved towards the tub to continue his heaving while Gilda took his place. They continued this for a few more minutes until their bodies relieved themselves of the discomfort and the noxious chemical that had invaded their systems.. Turning the faucet on slightly, Spike washed the offending stomach fluids down the drain as Gilda flushed. They looked at each other for a few seconds until they began to painfully laugh at the situation they had gotten themselves into. "Well, I think we should check up on the others." Spike groaned. "They are probably in worse condition than we were." "Yeah, Dash can hold her liquor fine, but she goes overboard," she chuckled. "Last time we drank like this, she woke up in a Hoofball team's locker room. Upside down on top of one of the locker's, mind you." The duo hobbled their way out of the bedroom and into the hallway, finding everywhere completely trashed. Rolls of toilet paper, streamers, balloons, and empty bottles of cider were thrown about all over the marble floors. They made their way down the hall and towards the main entrance where they vaguely remember the party occurring the previous night. Every once in a while they would come across a familiar pony laying right in the middle of the hallway, with their breath reeking of alcohol. Making it outside into the main entryway, the duo found a mess of ponies, cider bottles, confetti, cake, and lingerie in places that they should never be remotely associated with. Some of Spike's friends were even more worse for wear as they found Fluttershy sleeping in the bottom drawer of a dresser, Pinkie Pie could be seen hanging off of a big ribbon strung across the room, and Rainbow they saw sleeping in between the rungs of the castle's ornate entryway chandelier. Rarity and Twilight were no where to be seen except for Applejack who looked the best out of all of them. She seemed to be sleeping soundly in a chair by the wall with her hat leaning over her face. "Holy crap!" Gilda exclaimed. Spike fainted dead away at the sight.
Rude AwakeningsAuthor's Note This fic is just one of those things where I'm just saying, "Screw it. I'm bored, exhausted, and I don't have the attention span for any other kinds of stories, so I'm just gonna write whatever demented thing comes into my head." XD I hope it is entertaining though. Rude Awakenings How would one describe a hangover? Rusted, worn down, irregular gears creaking at each turn, breaking a tooth every now and then. The brain whining like a dying motor under a heavy load, lowering the stress, then suddenly increasing from slight to dramatic. The pumping of hot, thick, pasty goo flowing in the veins in place of the blood in his brain. Neural sparks in line, in a painful domino effect, systematically taken down like some kind of cellular genocide. The young drake was feeling all of these things and more today waking up in odd places with little to no explanation. Spike began to stir once again as he tried to get a grasp on what was around him. The sight of the royal entrance hall in disarray disturbed him deeply. Seeing it once when he entered the room was hard enough, but confirming that it was actually real just added more to his distress. He took great pride in the cleanliness of Twilight's homes, whether it was the Library, their old Canterlot home, or even the newest castle. Dozens of unpleasant smells bombarded his senses, coming from all over the hall. Two drunk stallions by the entry doors, Thunderlane and Dumb Bell, were bleeding from their noses and sleeping in puddles of their own vomit, forcing Spike to swallow back down bile before he became sick to his stomach again. Gilda had a bit of an uncomfortable look on her face and looked like she wanted to get out of there as soon as she possibly could. She did like the small drake in a friendly way now, but she didn't feel like being responsible for anything at the moment. Especially not with a brutal, head pounding hangover, like the one she was going through right now. "Well, as fun as all of this was kid, I need to skedaddle on home before your Sis comes in and thinks I mauled your privates. I'm not very much good at helping ponies clean things anyway," she snickered. "Maybe her punishment will come in eight months when I start laying green and purple eggs." Spike's face turned as red as a tomato as Gilda started laughing raucously at her own joke and made her way out the front door. Spike shook his head, wiping the words from his mind. However, no matter how much he tried to brush it off, the memory of the previous night was burned in his brain. He instantly slapped himself, attempting to whack the memory out... on the side of his bruised head. In place of the ‘softness’ came feelings of instantaneous regret Although the hit wasn’t too hard, the buzzing in his head made it proportional the magnitude of two hammers lightly bashing his head. Painful wasn't really the word to use in his opinion, it was leaning more to a large bloating in the side of his head. "Don't even joke about stuff like that!" Spike snapped completely embarrassed. "Do you know what that mare could do to me if she heard that?" It was too late though as she had already left through the front door. Spike was left alone with the catastrophe before him, groaning at the thought that he might have to clean up everything by himself. As if to answer his question, Pinkie rolled in her sleep and fell off of the giant ribbon. Spike gasped in fear and frantically looked around for something to cushion her fall. While she was falling, Pinkie seemed to remain fast asleep in a position like she was in a bed. Spike grabbed one of the castle's ornate tapestries as he stretched it out towards Pinkie. The tactic worked as she slid down the tapestry and across the tiles until she stopped at the wall. The force of her stop sent her bottom half over her head until her back hoof tapped the back of her head. The drake sighed in relief that Pinkie was safe for the moment, though confused as to how she was still asleep. The universe decided to throw Spike another hay maker as Rainbow Dash sleepily rolled off of the chandelier and began to plummet down towards the solid crystal coffee table thirty five feet below. He tried pulling the tapestry towards Rainbow, but it got caught on a piece of furniture, forcing the drake to take more drastic measures. He hopped up on to the coffee table just in time for Rainbow Dash to smash flank first into his head and skip off like a rock. She slid across the floor and spun like a top, not stirring for a moment until she was halted by the folded over Pinkie Pie. Her face landed right next to Pinkie's hind quarters which was a disaster waiting to happen. The pink mare's stomach was not about to tolerate all of the sudden movement as it began to grumble and growl loudly. Everything around Spike seemed to slow down to a crawl when Pinkie Pie let loose with enough gas to choke an elephant. The sound was loud, long and echoed through the entire castle like church bells. Wincing and holding his nose, he braced himself for everypony's reaction as he clenched his eyes shut for ten solid seconds. He waited and waited for everyone to wake up coughing and yelling, but strangely enough, most everyone remained out cold. Just with an added face of severe distress from having to smell Pinkie's noxious gas. As if reacting to the smell, Rainbow instinctively rolled away from the pink mare in her sleep and began to gag like crazy. Diving into "ground zero" Spike held his breath and dragged Rainbow away from the offending smell until she was in an adjacent hallway. It seemed to work as Rainbow's face turned only into mild discomfort. He grabbed a nearby flowerpot and placed it on her, hoping it would provide some measure of comfort until she woke up. After that series of catastrophes had ended, he turned his attention back to the rest of the entrance hallway and the ponies there, not liking the idea of having more and more problems to deal with as the morning went on. "Oh boy," Spike lamented as he looked for any pony who might be able to help him. Applejack then began to stir as her darkened eyelids slowly began to open. The chair she had been sleeping in felt a lot harder than it actually was and her body felt heavy and sluggish. Her surprise at the sight all around her was overshadowed by the lack of memory as to how the entrance hallway ended up in such a state. "Ughhh," the blonde earth pony groaned. "What done darn danglet happened?" "Oh, good morning Applejack," Spike said as quietly as he could muster. "Spike? What in Celestia's gosh darn name happened here?" "You don't remember? Wow, you must have had more than usual." "More what? Owww." Applejack asked as she started rubbing her temples in pain. "I remember coming to the castle for the Welcome to Ponyville party Pinkie set up for Gilda but that's about it." "I think someone brought a bunch of alcohol and everyone lived to regret it, including me," Spike replied nervously. The farmer straightened her hat so as to make sure that she was hearing a bit more properly. "You drank last night?" Applejack asked with disappointment. "Spike, I may not be Twilight, but I would never allow a boy as young as you to be drinking, let alone my own sister, Celestia forbid." By the way she was talking, Spike did not like where this particular conversation was going. "Can we just keep this a secret from Twilight please? She'll kill me if she finds out I got drunk and woke up in bed with Gilda." Spike didn't realize what he was saying until it was too late as he clasped his hands over his mouth. He just watched as Applejack's face reddened. Sounds came out of her mouth that were little more than creaking squeaks and groans. "Didn't you have that little crush on Rarity still?" she asked confused. "H-How and where did you have the time to....you know what? As long as you promise to help Twilight and I clean all of this up, I won't tell her about....that. As long as she doesn't ask me about it. I'm gonna have to tell her about you drinking though. If I don't allow my own little sister to get away with drinking alcohol, I sure as heck not gonna let one of my best friends get away with that." "I...think I can live with that." Spike replied morosely. Spike then shambled over to the side of the room and grabbed a nearby broom leaning up against the wall and started sweeping up various pieces of trash. Soon, a few more ponies began to wake up not remembering what happened the previous night as they left the castle to return to their homes to recover from their hangovers. Spike was unable to locate Twilight in the entry hall which led him to believe that she may have been in either her bedroom or the throne room. Making his way in that particular direction, he repeatedly assured himself that Twilight was too level headed and responsible to allow herself to get into any such scandalous situation. He tried to remember what happened to her the previous night but unfortunately, everything else kept coming back to a complete blank. The only thing he was able to vaguely recollect was what happened between himself and...Gilda. Pushing the thought out of his mind until a more opportune time, he focused on finding Twilight's room. Soon enough after going back down seven long hallways still filled with messy reminders of the party the night before, he found the main royal bedroom door. Typically, if it were any other door in the castle, it would be next to impossible for anyone except Twilight herself to properly tell the difference between each door. However, the royal master bedroom door was one of the largest and most ornate in the house. Its gilded solid silver knob shined brightly in the morning sun as Spike proceeded to approach it, fearing whatever he was going to discover on the other side. The young teen proceeded to turn the doorknob, hearing the lock and mechanism click and when it was fully turned, he tried to open it as slowly as possible. However, opening it fast or slow wouldn't have helped him avoid the sea of books that flooded out of Twilight's bedroom. Spike was lifted right off of his tiny feet all the way down one of the hallways faster than a locomotive. The opposite wall rapidly approached as Spike screamed and braced himself for the seemingly inevitable impact against the reinforced magical crystal of the castle. Quite thankfully, his acceleration began to slow down bit by bit until his face was within mere inches of the wall. Opening one of his eyes, he saw that he was no longer in any danger as he let out a long sigh of relief. However, his confusion only doubled when a second smaller wave from the bedroom carried a fully drunk Twilight with a book called Apples and Bananas by Time Turner clutched between her pearly white teeth. She was wearing on her head what appeared to be a shark fin swimming toy and had a pineapple had been duck taped to the fur on her chest. Her mane was frizzy and knotted sticking up every which way and her tail was even worse for wear as it looked as poofy as Pinkie Pie's mane. The mare was still sound asleep, snoring away loudly without a care in the world. The time for using that word that he had heard Rainbow and Gilda use on a daily basis was now, though he didn't expect any consequences would ever come of it. It was the only word he could use to express his feelings in the current situation that he was in. "Oh fuck me."
Books and HaybalesSpike's morning was turning more and more chaotic as each solitary second ticked by. He could tell you with absolute assurance that he never expected to wake up that morning beside a sweaty griffon or be drowned in a literal sea of books and paper created by his hapless adoptive mother. How she created the sea of books was another matter entirely he would have to solve later. His only hope that everyone else would be easier to find and less cataclysmic. Thankfully, all of the other doors in that corridor were closed, blocking the ocean of literature from bulldozing its way through the rest of the castle. His first course of action was to place Twilight in a safe enough spot until she woke up from her severe hangover. Which would undoubtedly prove to be quite painful for the alicorn when it happens. With as much strength as he could muster, he pulled the alicorn's fore hooves over his shoulders and held them close as he dove down towards the floor. He remembered the layout of the castle well enough to get around, even with the new blockages that prevented him from seeing anything. He "swam" down a couple of hallways until he found the place that he was looking for. He could feel Twilight gripping even tighter as she groaned in her sleep. When he dove down deep enough, he was able to touch the floor with both feet. Pushing away books, he felt around the walls of the castle until he found an ornate door. He pushed in and dashed inside before slamming the door closed before a flood of books could come careening inside. Turning around, he was thankful that he was correct in his assumption and found Twilight's royal bedroom. Even now, Spike was still not used to how spacious and large the bedroom was. He felt his arms burn as he dragged the heavy alicorn across the tiled floor. Spike swung her up on to the bed and threw the covers over her, hoping she would sleep off the rest of her hangover. Looking over to his own bed, Spike lumbered over hoping to get in a little more shuteye to alleviate the headache that he was still feeling. Just as he stepped into the mattress and was about to lay down for a nap, he could hear the tell tale signs of his caretaker stirring. "Ughh...Spike? Are you awake?" the alicorn groaned. The drake sighed in somewhat disappointment, staring at his satin blankets longingly before turning to Twilight to accept his fate for the day. "Sure am!" Spike exclaimed sarcastically. "What in Celestia's name happened last night? My head is pounding!" Twilight whined. Spike went over to her curtains and opened them up suddenly, revealing blinding light that made the alicorn's headaches even worse. Twilight tried covering her face with her pillow but the pain just kept on disturbing her. "The party last night for Gilda got out of hoof," Spike explained. "You might want to clear the corridors of your library before you go outside." "Oh...yeah. The party. I remember welcoming Gilda at the surprise but then its all a blank." Spike snorted at that. "Probably for the best. Everyone is a mess out there." "Wh-what do you mean clear out the corridors?" she asked painfully. "All your books have flooded into the halls and now there's a sea of books in the hallways of the castle," Spike replied nonchalantly. "WHAT???" Twilight shrieked as she jumped out of bed, but immediately regretted it. Twilight felt her head and her stomach scream for relief and felt bile start working its way up her throat. Spike calmly pointed to her bathroom as he fixed up Twilight's bed and took off the soiled sheets while the alicorn sped inside and heaved all her stomach's contents into her toilet. “... Sick... buaaaaghhh... Can't... bluuuuuuuu... Stop... uuuuuuugggg... Thinking... gggluuuuuu...” Twilight was panting heavily between heaves, straining to utter even single words. “Eating uaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh...” The drake knew she wouldnt stop heaving, so he had to jump in and do something drastic to help her out. He calmly walked into the bathroom and grabbed ahold of Twilight's face. Slap! - Her head rocked to the side, a sharp stinging sensation on the side of her face. Slap! - Again the world rocked, and her face stung even more. Twilight was bewildered and confused. Slap! - Suddenly Twilight realized that Spike was positioned in front of her, hitting her with his claw. She focused her attention on him. She saw his hand was raised to strike her yet again, but it failed to strike. Abruptly he lowered his arm and backed away. A look of concern appeared on his face. “Feeling better?” "Thank you," she replied bluntly after shaking herself off. The drake wanted to laugh at her expense, but he knew better and kept it to himself. Ignoring his own discomfort, he took Twilight's dirty bed sheets and flung them into a nearby laundry hamper. He then took a trash can and picked up every last bit of offending party junk that had made its way into the alicorn's bedroom. After Twilight had cleaned herself out, she was forced to exit her castle out of her bedroom balcony to get the full extent of the damages that had been done by the previous night's festivities. She flew about a half a mile away with Spike on her back to see the castle in its entirety. "Alright, let's see what we got ourselves in--to" Twilight started as she turned around and dropped her jaw at the sight before her. From top to bottom, there wasnt a single inch of the castle that wasnt covered in some form of streamer, toilet paper, or glitter. Even the main spire of the castle had not been spared from the onslaught of party materials. The front entrance was the worst of all. It looked like twelve separate parties had taken place just outside of her castle front doors. Dozens of ponies were splayed out all over her front lawn. Some of them were already waking up, feeling the full extent of their hangovers. Twilight was at a complete loss for words.She could not fathom as to how her home was bombarded like this but Spike provided a simple blunt answer to her internal question. "Pinkie and Rainbow plus cider and sugar." Spike said unenthusiastically. "Most likely what happened." Twilight looked back at Spike sitting on her haunches incredulously, "How are YOU calm about all of this? You're acting like this is a normal every day occurrence!" "With Pinkie's parties, kinda yeah." he shrugged. "Yeah, but this is my castle! I cant let the princesses see my castle like this!" she panicked. Continuing to look around, she spotted the "sea" of books that Spike had described through many of the castle's corridor windows. "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!" Twilight opened one of the corridor windows and barely dodged being buried once again under her precious reading materials. "Oh, I am so glad I reinforced all my books a few weeks ago with that damage resistance spell." Twilight focused carefully, ignited her horn and touched one of the books. Spike saw that whatever she was about to try was putting an enormous strain on her body. She was sweating profusely as her horn began to glow brighter and brighter. A book glowed pink and sent an aura all through the other books until all the books in her castle were enveloped. Flashing her spell to activate it, the books were teleported out of her hallways in an instant and back into the castle library. When the deed was completed, she fell back onto her plot and started panting heavily. "I... huff..should... huff...probably... huff...wait till...huff...I recover before teleporting that many objects like that again." Twilight wheezed out. "Let's go inside and help everyone out." Spike suggested. "They should all be getting home. Then we should probably eat before we...ya know. Clean up." "Agreed." Meanwhile, across town one particular griffon was ready to climb into her own bed and sleep her head pains away. However, she had much luggage to unpack and a house she needed to start furnishing. It would be her first official day in Ponyville and despite how much she disliked manual labor, she knew that she couldnt live in an unfurnished house. Gilda was still feeling quite under the weather from her hangover and it affected her balance severely. She wobbled back and forth as she tried to walk down the street. Everything was making her feel dizzy, but thankfully she was able to make it to her new house without injuring herself. Her vision was still heavily blurred and cloudy from her abrupt awakening in Spike's bed just a half hour earlier. The fresh morning air made her eyes water slightly, making everything within her sight look like a poorly made watercolor painting. She was able to make out the streets she needed to go down to reach her home easily enough. Even though it still made her feel nauseous just to move around. While walking, she thought back to the poor traumatized reptilian boy she had woken up with. At first she was worried that they might have gotten into unsavory shenanigans while under the influence. However, she was quite relieved when she learned the opposite. The drake Spike was quite polite and gentlemanly to her despite the bizarre circumstances of their first official meeting. She could only imagine that he remained that way the previous night. Up until she had reconnected with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, Gilda wasnt much into making friends with anyone. She was cold and lonely for most of her life. Even in flight school as the only griffon there, she didnt know the proper way to socialize with any of the ponies. As the newest resident of Ponyville, it was almost a certainty that she would have to now. 'Maybe I ought to go back later after purple and green has cleaned himself up and see what he's up to. It might be boring, but it won't be bad being around the little wimp I guess.' she thought to herself. Suddenly, she found herself stumbling over something rough and scratchy as she slipped and slammed front side first into a small wagon that had rolled into her path. Before darkness met her sight, she swore she saw something small, purple and orange controlling the wagon. "What the heck?" a tiny raspy voice said. "Aw man, I hope you didnt ruin those! I need them for a stunt course." Gilda felt her head stuffed into what seemed to be a pile of hay bales stacked up on top of each other. "I'm glad your hay bales take priority over my stomach," Gilda groaned with discomfort. She tried to push herself out of the wagon, but it started to rock and buckle. "Wait! Wait Wait!" the little voice pleaded. She was too late as Gilda slid forward into the wagon even more and felt herself moving. The user of the wagon, Ponyville's resident scooter rider Scootaloo tried jumping to the handle to save the griffon, but just barely missed and fell on to her face. She lifted her head and her eyes turned to pin pricks as the wagon started moving towards the town's only steep hill road. Mustering what little strength she had in her body, Gilda lifted her head out just enough to see the catastrophe that was about to happen before her stomach dropped into her feet. "Oh fuck!!!!!" Bouncing on any small obstruction the cart came across, the rolling wagon felt more like a bumper car trying to kill her. The constant movement did nothing pleasant for her stomach as she was tossed up and down. She could hear several voices passing by in the wind, presumably from some of the residents of Ponyville that were lucky enough not to have been caught in a hangover at the party. "Hey!' "What in the world?!" "Watch it!" "Ass HOOOLLLLE!" Scootaloo panicked as she watched the chaos unfold. Vendors were plowed into and destroyed, benches, crates, and even the occasional table was crushed by the wagon barreling down the hillside. The filly's heart dropped when she saw a group of older mares walking across the street in the direct path of the wagon. She leaped on to her scooter and tried catching up with the wagon before disaster struck. It worked somewhat as her speed picked up rather rapidly, allowing her to almost grab the handle. Scootaloo panicked as the voices of the older mares getting closer and closer. "Did you pick up the strudels for rummy night Tin Cell?" "Oh yes! I got it early yesterday with my coupons. That Applejack was raised well to offer such good deals." "Too bad she's probably drunk this morning again." "Oh, she's just at that age dearie, she'll grow out of it." Gilda suddenly felt a sudden violent jolt which sent her flying out of the wagon over a hundred feet away and splashing into the Town Square Fountain. The griffon landed with a splat as her limbs were all spread out. The impact felt like hitting concrete which stung like crazy. Scootaloo was at a loss for words when she saw the wagon be suddenly stopped by a hidden rock in the road and Gilda flying through the air. The older mares just continued across the street normally like they had not even acknowledged their danger or Scootaloo's presence. She winced in empathy and pain as she witnessed the griffon splatter like a bug on a windshield against the water of the fountain. "Miss Gilda!" Scootaloo cried out in worry. She ran over to the fountain and peered in where she saw Gilda sitting there in the ice cold water with a miserable look on the hen's face. "Are you gonna be alright? I'm so sorry!" The griffon turned to the filly with a sick, tired look in her eyes. "Hm? Oh...hi. You must be Scootaloo. Rainbow told me a lot about you. "Are you alright Miss Gilda? Sorry about the wagon" "Yeah, I think I'll be alright. No prob at all squirt. I just need to... find a place to lie down before I...before...bleeaghhhuurruggle...blleeeuaaagh..bluugh.. blugh...blugggggh Scootaloo could only try to hold in her own lunch as Gilda expelled even more of her own into the bushes outside the rim of the fountain.. Presumably from weeks back that she had completely forgotten was left in her own stomach. As she went through more of her own misery, she had only hoped the castle was better off than she was. Next Time: Griffon House Call Author's Note Sorry this took so long guys, my other fics have been keeping me preoccupied. Here's some more morning shenanigans with drunk ponies and griffons before I start getting into the meat of the story.
