I've Got PONIES for ROOM MATES!

by Daaberlicious

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Adventure, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 45199

A Brony wakes up to discover the ponies he loves are REAL. He has mixed feelings...

CURRENTLY UNDERGOING RECONSTRUCTION. PLEASE BE PATIENT AND ENJOY THE RESULTS.
Reconstruction? What?

Yes. I am remaking all chapters of this story... and even redoing the cover picture eventually.
---
(New Description)

How would you feel about having one of the ponies from MLP:FIM in your apartment?
How about six?

Many would probably feel like 18-going-on-19 year old Louis Anderson, post-high-school crappy temp job holding introvert, who so happens to have the fortune of a fantastic girlfriend who he's loyally stuck with for two long years.
Of course, she went off to college for med-school, and he has to earn his way into college classes. Tough break, bro. At least a long distance relationship can still be strong.

Of course, he's not even going to HAVE a job if the world needs saving...
_______________________

HEY GUYS THIS ISMY FRST FIC SO PLZ B JENTL

Just kidding!

All I really ask is that you are constructive and/or polite in your comments. Do this, and everything will work out fine!

As far as time of story is concerned, this occurs just in the middle of season 3, right before "Games Ponies Play", but it obviously diverges from the cannon after that point.

And finally, yes, I drew the cover picture. You all may be impressed now. Follow the source to my deviantART page!

Published 2012-08-12 22:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-09 21:16:40 UTC

Chapter 3: Unhappy

Chapter 3: Unhappy

"Louis Anderson, what in the name of all that is good and merciful was that racket?" The land lord had presented Louis with the reason for his ire quite suddenly.

"Um-" Louis stalled.

"Yes. I heard it. Me and every other tenant within 10 rooms of you. It's only 7:00 AM! You do not need to go bumping around and yelling for any reason at this time!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait! I have a reason!"

"What?"

"...Sleepwalking!" Louis, you moron. That'll never fly.

"...Sleepwalking."

"Y... Y-Yeah!"

"You fell down at least twice and left your apartment because of sleepwalking."

"You try actually seeing when you're dreaming!" Roll with it. It may just work!

"You were yelling at Tara Strong to get out of your apartment, according to some witnesses."

"In the haze that was my dream, I thought she was there!"

"...You're either drugged up, drunk, or I don't know what."

Louis scoffed. "With due respect sir, you came to talk about the noise I was making. I gave you my case. You do not need to accuse me of being high."

"If this happens again, you are going to be evicted." the land lord said simply. Louis wondered what happened to "three strikes and you're out".

"O- okay. I'll make sure it doesn't." Pleeeease go away now... I have a pony in my hoooouse, and I don't want you to seeeee her...

The land lord threw a parting glare at Louis, turned around, and walked off towards his residence. Louis discretely flung himself into his own apartment and slammed the door.

"THAT WAS CLOSE- Twilight, why were you right outside the door?"

"I wanted to know what was going on."

"Did you hear that guy? He's my land lord. According to the contract I signed to get this apartment, I am supposed to let him enter it, should he think he needs to. He could have seen you!"

"Why is this a problem again?"

"Twilight, there is something you must know: the fact is that humans have a strong tendency to distrust anything that isn't them. This has nothing to do with me, but the main problem is I'm worried about you."

"What? Why would he want to hurt me?"

"The most terrifying aspect of that is that I don't have a CLUE. I don't even know if he'd... throw a party for you or something."

Some distant look appeared in Twilight's eyes at that moment.

"Are you okay, Twilight?"

Suddenly, Twilight jumped up and put her fore-hooves on Louis' chest imploringly. "Louis! You said you know me from somewhere! Do you know my friends?"

"Woah! What? You mean, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?"

A sparkle flashed in her eyes as her mouth curved into a hopeful smile. "YES! Have you seen any of them?"

"Well, other than on the TV and all over the stinking place on the internet, I have not seen hide nor hair of them."

"Oh..." She sat down on the spot, her hopeful face having changed into a disappointed frown.

Then she put a hoof to her chin and muttered to herself, "If only I had enough magic..."

"Magic for what?"

"There's a spell I thought I'd never use practically, but I've been secretly dying to try it! It's called 'StarTtrotter', and from what I can tell, it seems to be meant for space travel."

"I don't think that would do you much good, Twilight."

"Why? It's perfectly logical to presume that my friends are still in Equestria, so if I could remember the basics to the spell, I could use it to get back home!"

Louis shook his head. "That won't do you any good, Twilight, because I don't think you're even IN the same UNIVERSE as Equestria."

She stopped and stared, wide eyed and gaping mouthed. "...No."

"I... Really have no idea, of course, since we haven't even gotten out of our solar system yet, but you are pretty much the spitting image of a fictional character, in a show remade from a show that got old very fast, which has many aspects based on human myth. If you met anyone on the street, they'd think they're hallucinating, drunk, or high... Unless I said I saw you too, or something."

"I... I know that, but-"

"What good would it be if the world knew you were real anyway? I have no idea where you came from! You showed up while I was asleep, from what I can tell. No witnesses, no evidence... Nothing..."

Shock and agony showed starkly on her face as tears trickled down, sympathetic to the hopelessness their maker felt. "I... Okay... I'm sorry I asked..." She choked out slowly, now quite uncertain what to do with herself.

That was... A bit too blunt, I think. Okay, brain. How do I cure a pony struck with hopelessness?

Wait. Twilight? Where'd you go? Okay, brain. Just get back to me later, alright-

A small lump was once more underneath the blanket that was draped over the futon, emitting soft sobs and sniffling. Louis decided it would be best to leave her alone, instead contacting his girlfriend once more to persuade her not to visit.

It seemed easier than pulling an inspiring speech out from his hat and giving it to Twilight.

"HiChelseapleasereconsider."

"You're not going to change my mind. I have everything packed and in the car!"

Double-Crap. Louis winced. Plan B, then.

"I have an emotionally unstable miniature equine of the purple shade currently crying on my futon."

"Um... are you sure you're actually okay? Not just sick or anything? No. That's not it. You're just nuts, right? Too much coffee, or something? I get nuts when I have too much caffeine too. You should hear the things I say to my roommate-"

"No. Too much emotionally unstable miniature equine of the purple shade crying on my futon. Really. This isn't good for her. Please don't come here!"

"Holy frick, you're serious."

"YES I am, I woke up with her randomly next to me and made a racket running away from her, then made another racket trying to make peace with her, woke up 10 people and the landlord, lied to the landlord to get out of it, and broke Twilight's poor heart by telling her where I think she is and now I realized just how stupid it is to be talking to you about this over the phone. You're going to have me put in the mental hospital, aren't you?"

"Uh... Not unless you're lying...?"

"Goodyouunderstandokaythanksbye!" Louis hung up abruptly, and then hastily, yet quietly went down the stairs to attend to his despondent unicorn guest.

"Hey... Twilight..." Louis spoke softly, flipping up the blanket to reveal the unicorn's head, "Is there anything I can do?"

Twilight lifted her puffy eyed head up from the tear stained futon. "...What? ...Let me regale all my sorrows and woes to a stranger while I make a teary mess upon their furniture?" She scoffed.

Louis was serious, however. "Yeah. Exactly that, if you want. You've got the 'teary mess' part perfectly so far. No hard feelings."

She sniffed. "... Everyone."

"'Everyone'?"

"Yeah... Everyone. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, the Princesses, Spike... I'm sad that I won't see them again."

"Horribly broken?"

"Dispirited. Downcast. Downhearted. Name it." *Sniff*.

"...I don't recall saying that you'd never see them again... When there's an effect, there is a cause, right?"

"You said, 'No witnesses, no evidence'."

"Uh... 'No evidence' yet, seems to be more accurate."

A hopeless whine.

"Will you accept my help in finding the cause?"

"... Sure... For what it's worth-" She then broke into another wave of shaky sobs. However, Louis would not stand for sad ponies in his humble abode any longer, so he did the first thing that came to mind: Hug sad pony. Now.

Louis did just that, and Twilight returned it once she realized just how badly she needed it, finally letting go of the pent up sadness through her tears and sobs.

It was a very good, healing, teary mess, and Twilight needed to make it, so Louis took it quite well as she made more tear stains on his shirt. When the ordeal was done, a bond of friendship formed between two complete strangers, one knowing a little more about the other, although he had a lot more to learn of her.

"I'm touched! For reals it's a train-wreck of feels! You know, if the bronies find out about this, it'll be the talk for weeks and-" Pinkie said suddenly, moments before Twilight pounced on her and squeezed her to an inch of her life out of relief and joy.

"Pinkie, I'm totally going to kill you for not showing yourself earlier!"

"I'd rather die than be killed by you! Oh, and, 'Hi Twilight! Good to see you too'!"

"It's better to see you, Pinkie!"

"Nuh-uh! You have no idea how much better it is to see you then you to see me! I saw you first! Ooh! 'See-Saw'!"

"May I interrupt for a minute?" Louis raised a finger to silence the ponies' reunion. They both turned towards him, making for an adorable scene which his brain was eager to point out.

"Where in my house did you come from, Pinkie?"

"Oh, that? The spice cabinet! You know, I was cooking another thing for the Cakes when I couldn't find the rosemary. I jumped in, and next thing I know, I'm upside down and everything smells like rosemary!" A cloud of spices shot from her nose as she sneezed (Thankfully, away from any bystanders), eliciting a giggle from the two ponies. "Oh! That's why!"

Louis attempted to take this in stride, but couldn't help but crack a smile. "Really? I thought you'd have come out sooner."

"Don't worry, I was just waiting for the right Thyme to do it." Pinkie smiled.

"...You didn't just-"

"Yupperooni! I made a pun!" Her smile got bigger, then she turned back to Twilight and returned the forceful embrace with equal force. "Here's a taste of Neighton's Third Law!!"

Sheesh. Their combined PSI could kill a man... And I've had Annatto this silliness anyways.

Author's Note

Hey! I'm on a creative schedule now, so I'll be working on fan fiction nonstop every Tuesday! Interpret this fact as you will, but now...

STOP.

RIDDLETIME!

(A bit easier this time.)
On hoofed legs they stand, tall and respected.
they make those who are weak turn strong.
But when things turn ill, and they most certainly will,
they aren't against seeing their wrong.

Who is it?

Chapter 4: Temporary Head Case

Chapter 4: Temporary Head Case

PSST. This is your brain thinking. You realize we just made a pun?

Yeah, that was stupid, and I barely get it. Louis thought back at his imagined conversational partner.

Hee hee! Okay. Back to reality. Brain, over and out!

"-And the whole place was covered in frosting!" Pinkie finished... Something.

"Hate to interrupt again, but..." Louis announced, waiting once again for the ponies to stop talking and give him their attention.

"My girlfriend is coming over today, and there's no way I can persuade her otherwise, Especially now since I told her that Twilight was here."

Twilight broke out of Pinkie's grasp to turn towards Louis, an indignant, betrayed look on her face. "I thought I needed to stay secret!"

"I figured telling her would minimize the damage of the surprise that would eventually come."

"Why not just run?"

"Where the heck to?"

"Is she cute?" Pinkie interrupted the duo's argument.

"Yes, she's cute." Louis answered, only to be bombarded with more questions.

"How about smart?"

"Yes, she's smart."

"Geekish?"

"You bet."

"She's just like Twilight! I sense a love triangle coming!" Twilight blushed with ill-concealed flattery when she realized Pinkie called her cute and smart.

"No. Extrovert. Twilight's introverted."

"Okay. That makes things run smoother."

*Ahem!* Twilight ahem-ed.

"Yes?"

"I theorize that the moment your girlfriend sees us, she will run off and never be seen again because she thinks she's gone crazy and nobody will believe her. Who knows what will happen? That's why you can't let us be seen."

"Uh... Dramatic theory. What if I said, 'I see them too'?"

"She'll call everyone she knows and this house will be transformed into the home base of a freak show. That's why you can't let us be seen!"

"That's even crazier, and you don't know her."

"What? You said other people are not to be trusted."

Louis looked at Pinkie, who had been interestedly watching the argument fling from person to pony. "There... Are some exceptions to the rule."

"HA! I win! Showing ourselves is NOT the worst thing we could possibly do, it's just-"

"A very bad idea." Louis cut in.

"...A very bad idea. You're still right..."

"Yeah, but I'm stinky. I need a shower. See you girls later." Louis got up and casually made his way to the bathroom.

"What just happened?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, that's easy! *Hic* Your personalities were so alike and corresponded so well with mine that we could partake in such a peculiar conversation without even batting an eye until afterwards. Wasn't it funny that you took it all in stride?"

"Uh... Yes. Where did you get that vocabulary?"

"It comes back when I get one of those weird, lonely hiccups! See, I ate a dictionary once without trying to. Don't worry, though, I'm still friends with Rarity, and nopony was hurt!" Pinkie got up and trotted to the kitchen, singing a happy little wordless song.

Twilight pondered this extremely odd information. A... Dictionary? Why would Rarity be upset? She doesn't even have that many books- Wait. Now I've GOT to get to the bottom of this.

Louis had to be presentable for his girlfriend's visit later that afternoon. That goes without question.

The actual question was how to remove the rainbow colored pegasus from his bath mat without causing her to go berserk. His headcanon always said that she had a much shorter fuse than shown in the show, but he had to consider it for all it's potential inaccuracies, since, what if the show itself isn't accurate?

Pick her up and rush her to the exit, then lock her out? No... She's faster than me... Probably much stronger too.

Poke her to wake her up, and then remain hidden while she leaves? Not that either... She'll seek me out.

...Give her mane a little stroke? NO WAIT HECK NO. That's just trouble right there.

...Maybe if I just yelled at her... Yeah. Scare her and then lock her out before she can think.

Louis silently took a huge breath.

Rainbow Dash's bright purple eyes shot open as she turned quickly to face him, giving him a glare that any idiot would think could probably kill it's recipient ten times over.

"Pleasedon'tbuckme" the unfortunate tenant blurted desperately.

She didn't buck him. Some unknown form of pony martial arts, perhaps, but it certainly wasn't bucking.

bucking would probably be more focused on the gut, and would hurt considerably less, anyway. Also, the assault would have less focus on the face, which was promptly smashed full force into the neighboring hallway's wall.

"DDDGGGGHH OHH FFU- ...Uuudge." Louis slid down the wall to collapse in the hallway.

"Answers. Now." The cyan pegasus demanded of the now prone form of Louis Anderson.

Contemplating his answer very carefully, he said what came first to mind. "I come in peace?" It sounded kind of muffled, as his bruised and slightly bleeding nose was crushed against the wall.

Rainbow Dash blinked once. She turned to look at the bathroom, turned back to Louis, and blinked again.

"Eeh, that'll do. Sorry about the face."

Rainbow Dash flew sheepishly down the flight of stairs as Louis slowly recovered.

"FREAKING OW" Louis shouted after her.

"Sorry!" She hollered back up the stairs.

Louis indignantly went into the bathroom, hoping for all he was worth that he would not need to come back out prematurely.

"Okay, this is kind of freaking me out. WHAT did I hurt upstairs?" Rainbow asked her two friends, who were currently catching up with the events of Ponyville, wondering what their other friends think of this, and wondering how many different ways Equestria could go to crap without them. You know, the usual for situations like this.

"That was a human, and from what little evidence I have, he's keeping us safe from others of his species."

"Wait. A human trying to save us from humans?"

"Well, he promised to save me, but you two kinda showed up suddenly." Twilight glanced at Pinkie, who was currently batting at the curl of mane that was in her eyes.

"So you showed up, panicked, and asked him not to tell anyone about you, is that it?" Rainbow asked, giving Twilight an odd, knowing smile.

Twilight scoffed at this. "Actually, I was about to talk to the landlord myself, but he was rather certain that he wouldn't like me."

"Oh. Well I'd expect that too. You under-think things just as much as you over-think them."

"Ouch." Both Twilight and Pinkie said at the same time.

"I did it again, didn't I? 'Shootin' my mouth off', as Applejack calls it?"

"Yeah." Pinkie said. "Even I felt that one."

Twilight remembered something important. "Pinkie, do you remember when you told me about the time you ate a dictionary? What exactly happened?"

Rainbow's face twisted with confusion.

"Oh, that? Don't worry about it, Twi! I was just as scared as her! ...Why are the doctors so good at fixing that sort of thing?"

"... That raises a million questions." Rainbow told Twilight.

"You're telling me." the unicorn responded.

"Uh, girls? Is that you out there?" A small voice asked from the nearby closet.

Alright. Awesome. I'm ready for whatever potential psychological disaster may come from Chelsea, and perhaps several other kinds of disaster, because DANG IT, I FEEL GREAT! ...What are they all staring at?

Louis had descended the stairs, only slightly damp, but a lot cleaner and garbed in a fresh set of clothes. Of course, he was understandably confused when the three ponies were staring at Louis' futon with concern, said futon's blanket containing a lump similar, but not quite the same as the one Twilight had formed twice.

"What did I miss?"

Pinkie helpfully informed Louis, although he could barely keep track of the breathless ramble that was "informing". "Well, we found Fluttershy in that closet over there so we spent like two minutes trying to convince her to stop hiding and come out of it, but then we spent another minute figuring out how to open it because she couldn't push it open, but then she saw the room and was all like 'AAAAAAAAAAH!', except really quiet like some sort of cute little squeak and now we've been trying to get her out from under this blanket!"

"Hmm. Must be an awesome blanket, since she's the second pony to burrow under it."

"Yeah! I wanna try it myself!" Pinkie agreed.

"Well, if you can make the shy pegasus currently underneath a bit more sociable, you're welcome to."

Pinkie grinned widely, then Fluttershy squeaked with surprise as she suddenly dove under the blanket.

"Guess what, Flutters?"

"...What?"

"I'm gonna tickle the shy out of you so much that everyone will have to call you 'Flutter'!"

True to her promise, Pinkie aggressively tickled the butter yellow pegasus, and Louis had never heard such an angelic giggle in his life. All three observers couldn't help but laugh slightly from the intrinsic charm and funniness of the situation.

Fluttershy rolled out and plopped onto the floor, out of breath, tearing up and still giggling, as her playful assailant poked her head out from under the blanket. "It IS awesome! I've never been able to do that before!"

Louis sat on the floor next to Fluttershy and offered a hand. "Hi 'Flutter'. I'll be you and your friends' host for the next uncertain quantity of time."

Fluttershy put her hoof in Louis' hand and shook it. "It's Fluttershy. Pinkie didn't change my name yet."

"Aww... I thought I did..." Pinkie said in mock sadness.

"So, considering you all have shown up within the past ten minutes, I can expect two more ponies soon?"

They all glanced at each other.

"Uh... I guess?" Rainbow, well, guessed.

"Lovely. Six times the mental trauma for the expectation of crazy boyfriend. I think she'll suffer a heart attack or something."

"Hey! Could it be because of Fluttershy? Twilight told me that humans kept getting heart attacks from her!" Pinkie jumped in. Funny how she knew that stuff so quickly.

"Twi, that's known as a joke. Granted, it's also a compliment as it basically says she's so cute it'll cause physical harm, but it's just a joke."

"I know. I'm not sure if Pinkie knows, though."

"Duh! Everyone knows you suffer a diabetic stroke from her, not a heart attack! I always keep this with me, because I know that, as her friend, she wouldn't want me dying because of her!" Pinkie pulled a bag of insulin from nowhere.

"...Where did you get that from?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I have them stashed all over Equestria! In case of cute friend emergencies! But I had this one in my mane, although I was considering wearing some pants just to say I kept it in my pocket, but then I thought, 'Silly me! Why would a pony need pockets? Twilight never needs them when she's carrying scrolls!'"

"Um-" Louis said, noticing Rarity casually trot down the stairs, although not like she owned the place, but rather, as though It was her grandmother's house and she was comfortable there, yet respectful to the building because she would never dream of hurting the owner's house.

There's not much difference, but what difference there is is significant enough to remark and describe.

"Oh! Hello girls! I was in my boutique a minute ago, but I somehow ended up here. Do you have any idea where we OH SWEET CELESTIA WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE WEARING?!" Rarity shouted at Louis.

Louis shouted in kind. "Oh, shut up! I just changed into these clothes and I like them! It's called casual wear for a reason!... Besides, aren't you supposed to be shocked about what I am, and not what I'm wearing?"

"Well, that would be rude."

"It's just as rude to insult a foreigner's attire. What if this stuff was considered high class?"

"But it isn't! You said so yourself!"

"Doesn't excuse your first impression."

"But my first impression was accurate!"

"Okay, look. Can we go past the clothing thing? I know it's your job and all, but- What are you laughing at?"

Applejack's here now. All present and accounted for, now to wait for my girlfriend's inevitable arrival and subsequent breaking of her brain.

Applejack, having appeared from an uncertain portion of the apartment, leaned against the coffee table and smirked. "Heh heh, you put up more of a fuss than I did when Rarity first commented on my hat!"

"So I did. Clothing talk. Stop. Enough. I'm going to leave before I'm put on the spot for any longer." Louis quickly made his exit.

Okay, so I could ship Fluttershy and Twilight together...

But I don't know the address for Timbuktu. No, wait. Stupid Idea. I don't want the whole world to go to crap just to avoid the... World going to crap as she spills the beans to her roommate Laurie. AAAARGH. Maybe there's some sleeping pills in my medicine cabinet?

Louis paced furiously in his room, thinking furiously how to avoid the extremely problematic encounter concerning six Equestrians and one girlfriend who would not be swayed by any known force to not arrive at Louis' humble apartment.

His ideas, since in panic, were by no means the smartest ones someone in the same situation could come up with, but you have to pity him for the predicament that he was in.

Yeah, if I can sneak them into something they would all want to eat, I could bring them upstairs and let it sink in before they start peppering her with questions and the like, and she won't be horribly shocked about the whole thing.

That's a horrible Idea. I couldn't do that to them. I just met them. ...And organizing them all when Pinkie's around is like trying to herd cats, I'm sure of it.

At that moment, Louis' appearance suddenly looked slightly manic, in a similar way to Twilight when she was worried. This would be disconcerting to all involved...

Doomed. Everyone on Earth is doomed! The ponies too! They're all going to know about them and then they'll lock them up and they all will fight with each other for the secrets of their wings and horns and everything is going to die when the nukes come out and it'll be just like Fallout! ...Minus ANYONE BEING ALIVE WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

"Hee hee hee hee-" Louis' brain was on the edge of complete collapse when he heard a rat-tat-tat on his door.

He smoothed out his inexplicably frizzed hair and shook the bags out from under his eyes, rather confused and astonished by the sudden physical transformation. "Who is it no I'm not panicking just thinking?"

The door was kicked open by a beautifully average looking girl wearing medium sized glasses. She had a ponytail in her red hair, and a simple black jacket with matching sweatpants and tennis shoes.

This was a typical outfit for Louis' girlfriend, but he was surprised by the ridiculously huge grin she wore, and the fact that she was clutching Fluttershy tightly in both arms... This was far cry from the faint/terror/anger/total confusion that he expected.

"This is awesome! Why didn't you take any pictures?!" Chelsea yelled in excitement

"Not that it isn't nice but I don't know you all that well... Could you please let me go? If it isn't any trouble?" Fluttershy squirmed in Chelsea's tight hug, but only received an ear scratch for her meager protest.

The pegasus "reluctantly" accepted this, suddenly okay with cuddles from a random stranger.

"I... See you made it."

Author's Note

Sorry for the epic delay! (Who am I kidding... I owe you nothing for the 0$ you paid me. But here's the excuse anyway.)

Ponies were not on the top of my mind for the longest time...

Due to...

Unexplained protagonist transformation into alicorn.

I wrote a whole freaking huge thing on why exactly I didn't like it (http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/180765/in-which-i-breathe-life-into-this-account-once-more), but I'm very willing to give season four a chance.
Perhaps enough to simply... Pretend that the season three finale doesn't even exist, because it will never stop bugging me otherwise.

Mental loopholes. I love them. :D

Chapter 5: How is Your Brain NOT Broken?!

Chapter 5: How is Your Brain NOT Broken?!

"Seriously! You came in expecting me to be TOTALLY off my rocker, only to find that I've got PONIES for ROOM MATES, all six of them being mares, and you're willing to take to this like a fish to water. Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Oh come on, Louis. We've had a long distance relationship for so long that you should know by now how stable our relationship is. And I'm majoring in psychology, so I knew you weren't lying the second time you called."

"... Really."

She gave me a mischievous grin. "... It's called a joke, Louis. I doubt you're unfamiliar with-"

"Am I that bad at expressing sarcasm? I didn't believe it for an instant! How's your major coming along anyway?"

"Oh, horribly. Seriously, my professor loves making me write essays on this stuff. I have two due next week, and I have to write 10 pages for each!"

"That sounds awful..." Fluttershy expressed her pity. Chelsea seemed surprised to realize she was still in the room.

"Wait. Why are you still here?"

"You're holding me..."

"I am? Oh, sorry. Why don't you just head back downstairs? Grownups are talking here." Chelsea put down the pegasus. Fluttershy noted that they all seemed to be the same age, but didn't have the courage to point it out, simply opting to trot downstairs away from that strange person.

"Dude. She works a full-time job as a professional animal caretaker. She's probably more grown-up than you."

"How do you know that? Did you two talk for a while or something?"

"Chelsea, any brony worth his salt would know Fluttershy's occupation."

"That's Flu- ?" Chelsea turned white as a sheet, then flopped onto the floor and stopped moving. Louis confusedly looked over her, then finally realized that he had witnessed an actual fainting spell, when he would have expected something like the actors did.

Louis was no first aid expert, as he regretfully realized.

The ponies heard a thump, but did not take notice of it: Twilight had already heard three originating from Louis, and if the past was anything to go by, this one wouldn't mean anything.

Clearly, talking about the odds and ends of Ponyville was much more important than being concerned for Louis' potentially unstable girlfriend.

Louis' girlfriend had knowledge that her boyfriend was a brony, and this in itself did not bother her. This was mostly due to her complete and total apathy towards the latest iteration of My Little Pony. She wasn't against the pink, cute and fluffy portions of her life, but she maintained a healthy and productive distance away from them in an effort to learn the inner machinations of the human mind.

She's more interested in why pink, cute and fluffy things are so interesting to people rather than being interested in them herself, rendering her a successful tomboy-geek combination.

Louis, however, although he happens to be a geek and looks just as average as his girlfriend with his black hair and un-tanned complexion, could not understand for the life of him how she managed to avoid MLP:FIM in such a way as to not be able to identify Fluttershy.

Seriously... This kind of thing is impossible with everyone wanting her to be their "waifu" despite not even knowing what that means, and with similar people gushing about how cute she is, only to later go and write grotesque and horrifying fan-fictions about her dark side or something similarly awful.

The motivations behind avoiding the name might be good, but it surely is an impossible task, would you think?

Try shooting for a PHD with all your might and tell me that it's impossible.

"Chelsea? Chelsea? Come on, wake up! Please tell me I'm doing CPR correctly!"

"-AACK! LOUIS! What are you doing?!"

"I was saving your life?"

"Well don't put your hands there! That's not CPR, that's groping!"

"Where am I supposed to put them?"

"I... Don't know..."

"... They didn't cover that detail in health class too well, did they?"

"No... Ow. Did I hit my head or something?"

"I think so. Don't get up."

Louis deposited the psychologically rocked love of his life onto his bed (The floor is never a good resting place for a woman. Remember this, gentlemen!). The way she quickly made herself comfortable in his own bed might have implied a risque history between the two, but the most they had ever done there was cuddle... And besides kissing and holding hands elsewhere, it was the most they had ever done together.

Chelsea collected her thoughts for a moment. "...That was Fluttershy."

"Yes. You also passed the other members of the mane 6 on your way into this room."

"So there are them too." Chelsea's spotless grammar took backstage to the current situation.

"Yes."

"..."

"If it helps you any, I fainted too."

"Hee hee! I suppose we were made for each other then... Do you suppose I'll have to watch My Little Pony now?"

"No. That's a bad idea. Even if the characters in the show are accurate, they certainly won't be complete."

She shot up, wincing a little from agitating the light bruise on her head. "You're right. And if anyone else thinks they know them already for whatever insane fan theories they've come up, we can't let them out of here in case someone tries to test those theories. This apartment is a prison right now!"

"Yeah, minus the crappy conditions, complete isolation from the outside world, patrolling wardens, scheduled meals and sadist cellmates."

"We got to get them out of here."

"Still working on making their stay comfortable at the moment. Escape comes later, when I know what the crap I'm doing, and/or getting myself into."

"So this just happened this morning? All these ponies?"

"Yeah. I haven't had time to plan for anything."

Louis girlfriend laid back down and stared at the wall thoughtfully.

"So... Are you going to tell Laurie about this?"

"No. This is a secret. That's a given... And I learned not to talk to her about any sensitive information with her after that open house incident."

"OH RIGHT. That was... Very bad."

"Down right awful, was what it was... Have you thought up sleeping arrangements for the ponies?"

"I could let them use the futon, if you're okay with that."

"Trust me. I don't plan on crashing at your place when you already have SIX guests."

"Point taken. Alright then, six sets of bedding should do it, unless they're all comfortable with sharing the futon blanket."

Author's Note

It is at this point that I lost interest in active participation in the fandom. Unfortunately, further writing will not done because of this. However, I have left this story published for what content it happens to possess so you may all see what work I've done.
Goodbye friends.

You may find my other works in the links provided:

http://electroshock70.tumblr.com/
http://electroshock70.deviantart.com/

CHOLD Chapter 7: The Morning After...

Chapter 7: The Morning After...

The sunlight glowed through the single window in the living room, illuminating the sleeping mass of ponies with it's gentle shine.

Pinkie, Twilight, and Rainbow found it unbearable, all moaning in pain and hiding their heads under their covers. None of them, not even the perky pink mare wished to wake up: It had been a stressful day by the time they slept. The three ponies on the other side were stirred by the others' pained moaning.

Fluttershy awoke comfortable and warm, staring sleepily into a blurry mass of off-white. Her head was held tightly, but not unpleasantly in the grip of somepony she didn't know. She felt the steady rise and fall of breathing, and a constant, quiet heartbeat thumped in her ears.

Thinking back to her fitful dreams, she noticed that one of her friends was always keeping her safe from the horrible inkiness surrounding her. Sometimes, it was Twilight, other times Rainbow Dash, Still others, Applejack, and even Pinkie did her part. ...But in the times that felt the most real, it was-

Rarity.

She now knew who had been holding her all night, sacrificing their sleep so she could have hers.

The butter yellow pegasus grabbed Rarity and squeezed her tightly, Startling the fashionista awake.

"Wha... What's this for?"

"...Thanks for helping me sleep, Rarity..." Fluttershy responded, thankfulness deeply intoned in her quiet voice.

Rarity let go with a chuckle, having forgotten she was holding Fluttershy. "Ahh, well, It's the least I could do for a friend." She said, hastily explaining herself despite the fact that her motivations were obvious and indisputably non-romantic to the receiving pegasus.

Fluttershy slid away from Rarity. "I'm sorry I kept you up... Those noises must have been awful."

"Don't worry, darling. I'm none the worse for wear."

Despite having woken up less than two minutes before, Fluttershy fell asleep again, very much sleep deprived from the dreams. Rarity had the misfortune of being sleep deprived just enough to feel tired all day, but not enough to need to fall asleep again.

She was a lady, however, and a proper lady always gets up when they wake.

...Applejack was just a mare, and not a "lady". But her internal clock said "get up", so she got up.

"...Time to buck the apples..." She rose her head slowly, her mane an untidy mess with long bangs that were usually in control, and affixed her stetson squarely on her head. She stretched, and slowly opened her eyes.

Medical science has yet to find a way to wake someone (or somepony) up this fast through artificial means. Applejack's eyes bugged open as a single shot of adrenaline coursed through her veins, sending a tingle all the way down her spine which made sure she wouldn't fall asleep again. It also has the additional effect of panic.

"WHERE THE HAY AM I?" AJ hollered, her head swiveling constantly.

All other equine residents were awoken instantly, and full of joy.

"APPLEJACK!"

"Gwaah!" The country mare found herself at the center of a group hug and increasingly flustered. Fluttershy and Rarity were tearing up, while Twilight and Pinkie laughed with relief. Rainbow Dash kind of suffocated Applejack in a bear hug.

"Gaah- Whu- Where'd y'all come from? How'd I get here? I-"

Applejack came to her senses. "I'd like a word with the house owner." Her partial glare and tone of voice were foreboding.

Rainbow Dash immediately objected. "AJ, I'm not letting you go upstairs to bash his face in like I did yesterday. Listen to Twilight. She'll explain!"

"I wanna hear it from him." She began climbing off the bedspread when Fluttershy pulled her tail.

She turned her head to face the pegasus, and spoke evenly. "What?"

"Twilight's right here, and she's had everything explained to her already. Why don't you ask her?"

"Cuz Twilight's blown things out o' proportion before, an'-"

Twilight announced her objection. "I have not!"

"Want-it-need-it, Twi."

The purple unicorn lowered her ears. "...Sorry..."

"No hard feelings!" Applejack quickly smiled at Twilight. "Now... Can I go?"

Fluttershy got Applejack's attention again. "You won't hurt him, will you?"

"Can't guarantee nothin', Flutters... But I don't think it'll come to that." She rubbed Fluttershy's head, then bounced off and walked towards the staircase.

...Some loud vocalization woke me.

Ghhurg... Whutta dream. Ponies on earth, and then a sandwich quartet to boot. I'd rather forget that last part... The song was CRAP. I rose like the undead from a grave... How does a zombie get through crushed coffin wood and six feet of highly compacted dirt anyway? Weird.

Free of that random thought, I planted my feet on the floor and sat in a sleepy stupor.

Well, I may have not been able to sleep, but at least I can cook bacon for breakfast! PopTarts every morning just looses it's novelty quickly...

I got up and opened my bedroom door.

"AAAUGH!" I involuntarily yelped (at a high pitch with a voice crack. I hate that.) at the pony who stood on the other side of the door.

As I fell down, barely catching myself, everything clicked.

The mane six have been spontaneously appearing in my house all throughout the day yesterday. There will be no bacon in my breakfast ever again. I've got ponies for room mates.

Applejack laughed in her signature style. "Mornin' to you too, Sugar-cube." She said, with a tilt of her stetson.

"I've got PONIES for ROOM MATES!" I blurted loudly in shocked epiphany. AJ's ears flattened against her skull as her face contorted in a brief grimace.

"What was that about?" She twitched an ear.

I held my hands up and turned my face away. "Sorry. Sorry. I forgot about your friends' existence overnight." I pulled my hands down and grinned sheepishly. "Can I help you?"

"Did you bring me here?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Certain."

"I didn't even conk out on the road?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Nothin' knocked me out?"

"No."

"You musta brought me here..." She didn't say this in an accusatory tone, but with confusion.

"Really. No. It's inter-dimensional stuff."

"What now?"

"You're in a different dimension."

"You're kiddin'!"

"I'm not. Go ask Twilight about it."

She huffed with annoyance. " IF that's true, then where am I?"

"The country called the United States of America, the state called Michigan, the town of Sandy Shores, and the Sandy Shores apartment complex... My apartment."

"So you're my host or somethin'?"

"Not by choice, but it's growing on me."

"... Well, I'll try my best to have good manners. Off to talk to Twi." She tilted her stetson, turned, and trotted down the stairs. Apparently I didn't help.

...Now that everything had gone as expected, today seemed way more daunting than it had yesterday...

...But I am a MAN... And any true MAN makes sure to get up with his guests.

Gonna be a long day...

Applejack was a sobbing mess: Perhaps more saddened than Twilight after hearing the news... Which AJ had just heard.

Currently, the country mare had buried herself in the bottom of one of the six oversized sleeping bags: Hers, to be precise. It's accompanying pillow had similarly disappeared, now wrapped in both sets of AJ's legs. Her stetson laid discarded to her right. To her left, Fluttershy was leaning on Applejack,massaging her much like the bunny Angel did for his master on occasion.

Applejack's behavior may seem strange, but once you consider just how close she was with her family, It's completely understandable.

She had grown up and lived in Ponyville all her life, born and raised on Sweet Apple Acres. Her parents had died suddenly, one year after Apple Bloom was born, and with Granny Smith already getting on in age, AJ had bravely taken up position as mom and raised her foal sister with little help.

Applejack made darn sure that Apple Bloom didn't just see her as a disciplinarian, but also as a confidant, playmate, and an average sister. In fact, AJ probably knew her sister better than she did...

All this only served to double the pain of forceful separation.

Between fits of sobbing, she told Fluttershy this story as the pegasus listened silently.

Fluttershy whispered "I'm sorry", continuing to massage Applejack. The element of kindness did not point out or hide the single tear shed for her friend: Empathy is an important part of kindness, after all, and is best served with little attention made towards it.

She waited until Applejack calmed down to silence, and a bit longer, only then drawing her words from the times her friends had encouraged her.

"We're all stuck here. You're not alone."

"...I know."

"We all had to cry once we knew."

"...Yeah."

"Some of us had to cry more than the others. You can cry more if you need to, but do you?"

"No."

"Good. Now get up."

"...nnmuh?" The phrase was strange coming from Fluttershy, but it wasn't unwelcome.

"Get up and stand tall. You're part of the Apple family."

Applejack poked her tear stained face out of the sleeping bag. "Yeah."

"No Apple I've known cries without doing something about their grief."

Applejack pulled herself out and stood shakily on four hooves. "No they don't."

Fluttershy rose next to the well built mare, and put an encouraging smile on her face. "Good. Now put that stetson on your head and do something about it."

Applejack looked hesitantly at the stetson.

"...Applejack, you never once failed your sister, you haven't failed me yet, and I'm certain you won't now. I have faith in you."

She fixed the stetson on her head with renewed confidence. "As long as I'm an Apple, I won't just cry over my problems... I'm gonna do something about them, and I'm gonna start today!"

Fluttershy embraced Applejack, and then let her off to go about finding something to do about her problems. She quickly turned to Twilight, who was a spectator for the whole thing, with a wide, hopeful grin.

"Twilight! Did you see that? I must have been so encouraging, wasn't I? Did I help her?" she quickly spoke, fidgeting on her hooves in excitement.

Twilight giggled both at the spectacle of the excited-usually-shy pegasus, and with joy for her friend. "You helped a lot, Fluttershy. She's back the way she was."

Fluttershy let out a joyful little squeak, did a graceful loop in the air... And promptly fell asleep again.

Twilight chuckled, tucking the sleep-deprived pegasus back in bed. Afterwards, she trotted off to see what needed to be cleaned, organized, or otherwise fixed up about the apartment. Chances are, it was the massive dent in Louis's bedroom wall.

Man... I'd KILL for friends like that!

I had just seen one of the most heartwarming things I had ever seen in a long time.

It had probably softened and increased the size of my cardiac tissue three fold, for all I knew.

I headed into the kitchen to make my breakfast (sans bacon).

"NO."

"Pinkie, what do you mean, no?"

Pinkie Pie stood in my way to the kitchen. She seemed adamant about letting me in.

"I joined the Sugar-Cube Corner workforce to COOK, and now I don't have THAT kitchen. I'll go CRAZY if I don't bake something yummy once a day, so I'm just going to commandeer yours, soldier!"

"But... My eggs... I LIKE those on the weekends! (and what's with 'soldier', anyway?)"

Pinkie's stubborn glare transformed into a smile much like someone makes when they're hiding good news to excite someone else.

"Forget your silly eggs: I'm making quiche!"

"What? What's quiche?"

From her footstool, she stroked my cheek with her hoof (much like a person does with their mopey dog), wearing a pitying expression.

"You poor deprived creature... It's only the BEST POSSIBLE breakfast food POSSIBLE! You're gonna love it! now OUT! OUT!" Pinkie proceeded to headbutt me in the shins. I suddenly found myself very interested in the living room, and a small pink monarch now ruled over the kitchen.

"That was my kitchen..." I dejectedly called out.

Pinkie responded cheerfully: "Well my first decree as monarch of the kitchen is that YOU MUST SHARE!"

"Did you read my mind?" That was too uncanny.

"Pinkie sense!"

Oh, okay. Much better. A monarch that I couldn't possibly dethrone.

I peaked over Twilight's shoulder. She had a site that I didn't recognize open on my laptop.

"Learn anything?"

She gave a small shrug. "It's not quite 8:00, so I've done some alternative research for entertainment."

"So what have you got open?"

"It appears to be a public forums (of course I've only learned what one of those was yesterday. I can't be certain if it is), but the topic I've got open is belittling a story aggressively."

"Human psychology is a weird study field. Tell me: Is this story good at all?"

"They've only published the first chapter, but it was well received, and I even find myself liking it."

"Wow. Nice gentleman on the forums. How exactly is he 'belittling aggressively', anyway?"

"He claims the main character to be 'a Mary sue', and at the same time, he says that this character is 'too dumb to live'. This appears to be based on an overly broad conclusion and a singular instance. However, the situation in which he claims the character to be imbecilic makes sense in context, and this 'Mary sue' claim can be disproved in future characterization... Never mind that a character cannot be both things at once."

She scrolled through the post more, running her eyes across the words rapidly. " ...That appears to be the maximum extent of his attempts to find something actually wrong with the story. Virtually every other instance is his correction of supposedly wrong grammar, obviously hate filled phrases taking the story in an unintended direction-"

" Such as?"

" I quote: 'she then tore out her lung with a carving knife and shoved it up her'... uh... butt... Sorry, I didn't want to say that part. '... and threw her out the 5th story window spraying her guts all over the sidewalk'. See? Hate filled."

"Ick."

Twilight continued. "He's also claimed that segments of the story go on too long, although neither I or the other fans have had any problem with them... And to top it all off, He's edited certain segments of the story to make it look worse than it is."

"...That's just evil."

"The worst part is that he claims to be critiquing... but a typical critique contains no bias, and any that does will acknowledge such bias and avoid making it effect his over all impression of the work."

She turned to face me, looking very much confused. "Why do some humans do this?"

I sighed. "There could be many different motivations behind this behavior. Think back to Gabby Gums: The CMC under this pen name were forced to say unkind things about the citizens of ponyville-"

"How do you know about Gabby Gums?"

"The TV show you're featured in, Twi. Now, they were forced to do this by Diamond Tiara... But it seems unlikely that this person is being forced to publish this against his will. More likely, he's cruelly indulging in the privileges that anonymity allows. He probably would never say this to the author's face, when the author could find out his name and directly reticule him in writing, or on the spot."

"Wow. What a coward. I have half the mind to rebuke him right now!"

"Ha ha ha! I'd love to see how this turns out!" I glanced at my watch.

8:00 AM sharp.

"Um, Twilight? I think that'll have to wait for now-"

She held a hoof to her horn, and then turned invisible, trotting out the door.

Having felt the distinct tingle of a beacon forming, Twilight ascended the 11 floors above Louis' apartment, and then leapt onto the fire escape to climb to the roof.

Wow! The beacon he sent must have lay-lines of equivalent power to one of mine! I've never experienced my kind of power from anypony else... Just Princess Celestia's awesome aura. It's kind of eerie to sense this power from somepony else...

She glanced around quickly, not to eager to deal with seagulls that couldn't see her for long. The beacon was dimly lit, and came southwards from the apartment complex: far behind it.

She opened the message, and a wizened old man's voice flowed into her ears.

"Hello Twilight! I must say that I'm impressed that you managed to create three beacons with such powerful lay-lines. It might not even be too far off to guess that your special talent is magic!

...This message's purpose is not for small talk. I have absolutely critical supplies and information being shipped to your location, which I found out by tracking the location of where the beacon was placed.

When next you see Louis, you are to relay this information to him. (Get out your notepad!)

'The Friend in Deed has sent a pre-paid package to you by UPS, due to arrive this evening. It will be large, and you will need to sign for it.'

'The package itself is not significant, but it's contents are essential. Inside it, you will find an antique knife: it is lightweight, and heavily enchanted to have many functions... Much like Doctor Who's Sonic Screwdriver, but also useable as a projectile weapon. It's not recommended for close quarter combat in it's unactivated state, and only a unicorn can activate it. It comes with a holster that only you can remove the knife from.'

'Alongside the knife are two right-hand gloves and six hoof-covers, enchanted to keep the wearer's core body temperature warm, and to prevent frostbite on extremities. The spare glove is for whatever companion you choose to take with you, and the other five hoof-covers are for Twilight's friends, who The Friend in Deed learned about through a voluntary submission mind read directed at her. These are to be worn in addition to whatever warm clothing you will need, and not to be relied upon.'

'In addition, a packet including the instruction manual for the use of the knife previously mentioned and critical information regarding the ponies' accidental entrance into this dimension has been packaged alongside these goods. You are to read this packet as soon as possible'

'Lastly, a copy of 'Supernaturals: Natural Cures that are simply super!' has been included in the package. Twilight will find this useful for both plant life which may have slipped through the dimensional gap, and naturally occurring plant life. I have included footnotes for natural cures to human illnesses as well.'

'Once the package has been obtained and the packet has been read, Prepare to leave with the six ponies and whatever companion you have within a week to the address provided to you in the packet. your purpose for being there will similarly be explained in the packet.'

Twilight, I wish I could reveal my true identity to you now, but I must wait until we meet in person. ...I have a feeling that we will get along swimmingly, considering that we are both high powered mages who love to study. :)"

Twilight briefly pondered how she could hear the emoticon.

"In spite of the pending trouble on our hands, I am looking forward to meeting you in person. See you later!"

The purple unicorn waved her horn at the beacon to send it away, and it exploded. It had probably crossed into the visual spectrum, and it definitely caused car alarms to go off in the distant neighborhood.

Oops! Wow, Twilight! I think you don't need a lot of magic to turn off a beacon...

She grinned sheepishly at the seagull who had settled next to her unaware, and galloped back to Louis' apartment. She arrived invisibly at the doorstep between two humans she hadn't seen before.

Chelsea had arrived at Louis' doorstep at 8:06, knocked, and was waiting patiently. Mr. Thompson, the Landlord of Sandy Shores apartment complex had arrived at nearly the same time. Chelsea was definitely an extrovert, so it was natural to strike up a conversation.

"Cloudy, isn't it?"

"Yup." He gave out a small sniff.

"You know, heh, I'm missing out on an extra credit opportunity being here." She spoke without spite.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm attending Michigan university, majoring in Psychology. I'm here because my boyfriend thinks he might be nuts."

"I'd say nutty, but crazy never came to mind."

"So what brings you here?"

"I'm the Landlord. I heard complaints of loud noises yesterday, and only now have the time to deal with it."

"Wow. You're quite punctual. Most landlords take a long time to check on complaints."

"I make a point of it."

At this time, Twilight arrived invisible, and sat down in between the two.

"What was the complaint?"

"Loud thumps on the wall. He says it's accidental, but I still have to bill him for possible damage."

The purple unicorn thought back to the huge hole she patched up in the bedroom. She was impressed with Louis' strength.

Chelsea decided to just go through.

Note to self: Don't poke any pegasus awake.

Said action had caused Fluttershy's entire mane and tail to stand on end. She flew into the corner of the room and curled up into a tiny ball, irises contracted to pinpoints, breathing heavily, and shivering uncontrollably.

"Fluttershy, I just wanted to see if you were okay... You looked kinda sick."

She rambled in terror. "The Everfree's finally come to get me... Some big old monster has taken me to it's lair, and now it's going to gobble me up!"

"Fluttershy... It's me, Louis!"

"Don't eat me! I don't taste good at all. I'm just skin and bones! Just look!"

"No! Look! We met yesterday!"

"We couldn't have. I'd have remembered! I'd be dead!" Talking wasn't getting anywhere. I got up and headed for the coat closet.

"What's in there? What's in there?! Please tell me it isn't bees!! Nothing against bees, of course..."

Someone knocked, but I didn't notice, currently concerned with the terrified pegasus.

I threw my winter coat over her, inducing an iconic "scream", followed by considerably calmer, but still deep breaths.

That was just supposed to jog her memory, but it seems to have the same effect as a blanket over a bird cage. Weird.

This unexpected effect made me laugh, as I pulled a corner of the coat up to view Fluttershy's face. "You okay now?"

Fluttershy took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Do you remember me?"

Another breath. "Yes."

"Am I still a monster?"

She took a very deep breath. "You're a very charitable, hospitable, kind, and occasionally dense monster, yes."

"HEY. DENSE?" 'Monster' didn't sit well with me either.

She laughed. "You broke your wall with your head... On purpose! How couldn't you be dense?"

"Fluttershy! I thought you were nicer than thi- Wait."

I turned just to my right, and found out that Rainbow Dash was the one who remarked my head injury. She grinned smugly.

"You two are in so much trouble."

The door burst open in a way that was extremely familiar.

Roughly six minutes earlier, The old man stood in his front yard, feeling very very agitated. The 'inconspicuous' bag wasn't anywhere to be seen, which brought him no end of worry.

He began to walk, not planning on stopping until lunch time. He desperately needed to walk... Perhaps to Sandy Shores apartment complex, even...

...Hmm. Oddly specific destination, but I will go with it.

The old man only knew that the bag was evil. He didn't know, however, that the bag had a mind to it.

It breathed in huge quantities of thaumic energy from the dimensional divide, breathing out a de-hex spell that easily matched the royal unicorn sisters' best enchantments.

It waited, and watched.

At an uncertain time, a bicyclist rode up to it and stopped. It was very interesting to this man.

The man picked it up and stuck it in his backpack. He forgot his previous plan to go to the local bike trail, favoring a little all-terrain into the woods.

It was late at night, but that didn't stop the bicyclist's odd compulsion. He kept biking for four hours, stopping in a typical clearing in the pine trees.

He got off the bike, and decided he didn't want the bag anymore. He simply pulled it out of his pocket, and preformed the usually casual crime of littering.

The bicyclist rode back the way he came, feeling good about his choice of path.

If anyone had known the truth, he'd have received a life sentence.

... But no one did.

...It was just a bag, and it was just a bicyclist who wanted to change up his routine.

"I'm sorry, but the two of us did knock."

"Chelsea!" I jumped up to meet my girlfriend in the front door.

She and the Landlord were staring at the Pink pony who was busying herself at the kitchen moments before.

Pinkie stared back.

"I've gone nuts." The Landlord said simply.

"I can see it too. You're not crazy." Replied Chelsea.

"Are we seeing the same thing?"

"Is it a pink 'my little pony' to you?"

"Yeah."

"We're not crazy."

"No. My whole sense of reality has been flipped upside down, but we're not crazy."

"Yep."

Pinkie waited, and then chose to speak. "Looks like you're done thinking you're crazy! My name's Pinkie Pie! As in Pinkamena Diane Pie, but all my friends call me Pinkie! Which one of you is the Landlord louis talked about?"

The utterly dumbfounded landlord pointed to himself... Slowly. His jaw seemed broken from blunt trauma with the floor.

"That's an awesome mustache, Mr. Landlord! It's like it makes you look more respectable! Oh! Twilight patched up the huge hole, so you won't need to fine Louis anymore!"

Who told her about the hole? First Rainbow Dash, now her! ...Oh... They probably saw it yesterday.

Pinkie turned her focus to Chelsea. "Missy-" She pointed a hoof at me. "-This one is a keeper! I guarantee he'll keep treating you right!" She turned back to her cooking: It was a pastry I didn't recognize.

Chelsea raised a hand towards Pinkie's mane. "May I?" At this, Pinkie flicked Chelsea's nose with her tail.

"I'm real! Just like everypony else! ...Wanna be my friend?" Pinkie begged her new acquaintance.

I stepped up. "I was hoping I wasn't crazy. There was plenty of proof, but you can never be too sure."

Chelsea gave me an unreadable look. "Louis..."

"What? What did I do?"

"This will not go public. If it does, I'm probably going to kill you."

"I'd kill myself if it came to that."

"Louis, this is serious. I don't think an Equestrian would survive a day in the media spotlight."

Twilight revealed herself. "Louis and I have already considered this. We're going to figure out how to go through the reveal process slowly."

"Ohmyfreakinggosh there's two of them." Chelsea whipped around quick enough to blur.

Her reaction makes me wonder why I didn't freak out more.

"Six, actually. I'm Twilight Sparkle. You've met Pinkie coming in. There are four other mares in here: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Flutteshy."

Chelsea gave me a glare. "You could have told me there were six of them!"

"Recent development. Look, if I told you each time one appeared, we would have been on the phone all day, and I needed to help them get adjusted."

The Landlord stood staring at me... Then he turned around.

"PINKIE PROMISE!" Pinkie Pie blurted out, getting in his way.

"What now?"

"You need to promise that you won't tell on us! Pinkie promise!"

He turned to me helplessly.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I recited, showing the appropriate motions. Pinkie corrected me when befitting.

"You want me to do that?!"

"The pink monarch is not going to let you out of the house unless you recite the Pinkie Promise."

Mr. Thompson turned to his pink roadblock, trying to step over her. All he received was a cold, expectant glare for his trouble.

"*Sigh*... 'Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-' DAAH OUCH FFFF-"

Pinkie interrupted him with precision timing. "You can go now, Mr. Landlord!" She stepped to the side with a grin.

Mr. Thompson ran off. Man, even if this doesn't work, it's totally worth it to see the stoic man preform a goofy chant!

Chelsea breathed a sigh, turned around to me, and smiled.

"Well... since you haven't been joking with me, I'd like to start meeting these ponies."

It turns out that the four remaining ponies were watching the whole time.

Before I continue, I'll give you a little background.

Chelsea and I have, as you know, been close for a long time. We were friends through grade school, and started dating in high school.

Chelsea was surprised when I told her I was a brony, but she found that my indulgence in a show such as MLP:FIM was inconsequential to our relationship. She has been open minded about the whole brony thing, and had even asked me questions from time to time about the show.

Today was no exception.

We were situated in the living room, having packed the guest bed up ("You didn't clean up all the way! What am I going to do with you?"). Chelsea first asked about how I reacted, and how they reacted, upon first seeing each other.

Twilight: "He shrieked. There's no other word for it." She giggled. "I wasn't much better: I took every opportunity to hide myself for the first 10 minutes we met, because I was so embarrassed about how we woke up!" Another fit of giggles.

"Really embarrassing, wasn't it?" Chelsea remarked.

Twilight was loosing breath from giggling and blushing. She pulled the blanket off the couch in much the same way she did the first time, and hid herself in it. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were accidentally covered in the comparatively huge blanket.

Pinkie: "Twilight's story was NOTHING! See, I was making something to cheer up the girls after they found out Twi was missing, but I couldn't find the cinnamon. I jumped up to the spice cabinet that the Cakes had in their kitchen, but really REALLY couldn't find it! I got so distracted from searching, that I let the door close behind me, and POOF! No really! Poof! I was over in Louis's spice cabinet!

I immediately knew that it wasn't the Cakes', so I waited to surprise whoever was on the outside and make the my friend! ...I think I may have overdone it..." She smiled in a silly fashion at her friends. This effect was amplified by her apathy towards the position of the blanket: just over her eyes as she sat on her haunches.

"You exploded, Pinkie." I confirmed.

Rainbow Dash: "I fell asleep on a cloud... It's fine. I do it all the time." Rare total honesty! "...So I was sleeping, and then, sometime later, Louis tried to wake me up to get me out of his bathroom.

I know he wasn't trying to hurt me now, but I had him pegged as the bad guy, and gave him a nosebleed... I don't know exactly what I did, but he had me wrapped up in a towel and howling quite loudly for my life."

"You were crying too, Dashie!" Pinkie blurted out.

"HEY! MY STORY!"

"Oookay, I think you're done, Rainbow." I said to get things under control.

Fluttershy: She shifted in her position next to Rarity on the easy chair."I... I was taking care of my animals, because I hadn't done that all day from searching for Twilight, and I ran out of bird feed... So I headed to my shed to get some more...

I hadn't even put my teeth on the hatch, when everything went dark... and cramped... and... and stuffy... and something heavy fell on my tail, scaring me a lot.

I called out for somepony, and Twilight opened the door to the coat closet I had gotten in. I probably hadn't been so happy to see Twilight in my life, but I ran back in to hide from Louis when I first met him...

He was so big and strange to me, that I thought something from the Everfree had stuck me and Twilight somewhere to eat us later.

She grinned sheepishly. "He's still big and strange, but he doesn't scare me anymore."

I put a point forward. "...Except when you've just woken up from a bad night."

"Yeah. Right. Sorry."

"Don't sweat it!"

Rarity: "I was in my boutique, trying to work on an order to keep my mind off of the disappearances of my friends. Applejack graciously offered to model for me... Why did you do that, Applejack?"

"I figured friends were supposed to stick together, especially when they lost a friend."

"Oh... Thank you, dear. ...While she was modeling, I found myself to be missing a ribbon I needed for my design. I asked her to wait, and trotted to my supply shelf...

I found myself trotting into someone else's living room. It was very unsettling, needless to say."

Pinkie jumped up and ran full tilt into the kitchen. "THE QUICHE IS READY!"

Silence ruled the moment. "Why did you call Pinkie 'The Pink Monarch'?" Chelsea asked me.

"She's forbidden my entrance into the kitchen... And proclaimed herself as monarch of said area of the house."

"Oh... Do you want to continue your story, Rarity?"

Rarity waved a hoof. "All I have to tell you is that Louis's garments had me very disappointed when I first met him."

"Really? No surprise, shock, terror, hate?"

"Just towards his clothing."

"... Applejack, why don't you tell us what happened with you?"

Applejack: "When Rarity disappeared, and I mean, literally, I ran home likity split, choosin' to just do my chores to keep back my tears. Rarity was gone, and there was nothin' I could do about it.

Of course, I plumb wore myself out and had to just plod my way to Sweet Apple Acres. The day's going ons made sure I wouldn't catch my breath, cuz I had been runin' through town all day lookin' for Twilight, then Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.

I collapsed on my bed sometime around midnight. When next I woke up, I found myself in someone else's bed next to my friends, and I chose to talk to Louis... Wanted to know how I got here.

I guess he forgot about you guys overnight, cuz when he saw me, he let out quite a mighty yelp! ...And then he said somethin' about room mates... Didn't catch that. It was too loud. I asked him a bunch of questions, but he wasn't as much help as Twilight."

Pinkie galloped into the room immediately once Applejack was finished. She stared at us with a huge grin and wide eyes.

"I hope you're all hungry, because I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, have made A BREAKFAST TO BEAT ALL OTHERS!!!"

We filed into the kitchen to see another glorious feast on the table.

"I already ate..." Chelsea stated quietly.

"Chelsea, with this food, you're not going to want to miss out." I said, sitting down to inhale the delights before me.

I learned what a Quishe was: Delicious.

All individuals seated at the table were completely stuffed. I was certain that I would have to skip lunch Today.

Chelsea got up to leave, when Twilight tugged her back into her seat with a little magic.

"I have some information concerning all individuals present."

She handed me her notebook, opened to a page filled with her neat penmanship. Unremarkable, except that the top said "Beacon's Message".

"Read that." Twilight urged me on.

I read aloud. "A parcel will be delivered to Louis's doorstep this evening, which he must sign for. There is no charge for it's delivery.

It contains an ornate blade enchanted with a high level multipurpose spell, sheathed in a scabbard that only Louis can pull it out of. Only a unicorn can activate it.

Other contents:

-Two right hand gloves and six hoof covers enchanted with an uncertain level of cold protection. The spare glove is for whatever companion he brings with him. These artifacts are not to be used without additional warm clothing.

-A packet containing general information regarding the ponies' situation, and instructions for the operation of the enchanted blade.

-A copy of 'Super Naturals' with added footnotes explaining cures for human illnesses and injuries.

The Friend in Deed wishes to meet Louis, His chosen companion, Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack within two weeks' time. Bring whatever supplies necessary."

I turned to Twilight. "When did you know about this?"

"8:00 AM sharp." She responded with matter-of-fact.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was... Distracted."

"Twilight, this kind of stuff is important. It's important for you and your friends, therefore, to me. Don't delay telling us this stuff for ANYTHING."

"Louis, we-"

"I don't care what excuse you have, don't do this again!"

"We had a GUEST! TWO OF THEM! DON'T TELL ME I WAS SUPPOSED TO HANG POLITENESS FOR SOMETHING THAT WOULDN'T MATTER UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON!"

The other ponies began putting their own thoughts in while Chelsea sat surprised by the rate of escalation.

"Really now... Manners are rarely something you can simply drop!"

"The world don't revolve around us, Sugar cube! Everypony oughta know about that!"

"...That isn't nice..."

"TWILIGHT IS NOT A MORON! SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING!"

"I'm speechless. First time ever! Or maybe the second? Third? More? I've lost count!"

"OKAY FINE! YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M WRONG!"

Everyone went silent. No one had slept well, but I was clearly the one who was worst off for it.

I sat back down glumly, resting my head on my arms.

Chelsea sighed.

"...Okay everyone. Listen. Louis did do something stupid just now, but I think anyone would under that much stress."

Rainbow Dash flew straight up to Chelsea. "What do you mean, 'stress'? He's been calm the whole time we've been here!"

"No, he hasn't. He's been unwisely choosing to hold up his stress, which is what made him blow up just now, over something silly as this."

Bang on, Chelsea. You're more correct about me than I even thought about myself.

"You're kidding." Rarity mono-toned.

"What is true, Rarity, is that I've known him for a good thirteen years. I know how he ticks, both good and bad. He tries to keep complete calm in the wrong situations at times, which causes explosive stress when he's finally reached the threshold of what he can take."

I felt a hand tap my head sharply. "Stop moping, Louis. No one blames you."

My response was less than desirable. "I thought they all blamed me."

"Well they don't. get up."

I rose with a sigh. I hate mornings... Especially now...

"Now admit it: You've got a heavy burden."

"Yeah, I do."

"One you couldn't possibly hope to complete alone: Not enough money, not enough time, not enough resources."

"Yeah. I do."

"Your WHOLE LIFE has been changed without your consent, and no one is there to blame for it! That stinks, doesn't it?!"

"It does!"

"You have my permission to freak out, if you need to."

"I've... Gone pretty far past that stage..."

"That's good. We're all at the same stage now."

Chelsea addressed everyone in the room. "Louis's outburst did tell me something. He obviously is concerned for you all... Deeply. If I were to guess, he's already become attached to some, if not all of you to some extent."

Pinkie shot her hoof up. "I'm friends with him! He's my B.H.F.F! That's Best Human Friend Forever, and he's the only one with the title! Of course, that's obvious! He's the only human I've made friends w-"

"Thanks, Pinkie. I think you two will get along well." Chelsea said politely with a smile. She seemed to have much less trouble silencing Pinkie than I did.

"I suppose he scores some points with me... He did let my friends stay over." Applejack said thoughtfully.

"Me too. He promised to help me!... " Twilight agreed.

"...He never got impatient with me. That was nice of him." Fluttershy added.

"I'm glad he didn't try to kill me when he met..." Rainbow mumbled in thought.

"Well, I'm willing to try to be friends with him. My friends seem to like him, after all." Rarity added finally.

Chelsea nodded with satisfaction. "Since he really cares about you, I'm thinking seriously about helping him... But I don't want to just drop my college education and go on some wild goose chase for... I don't even know what that will help you get home."

She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry. ...Maybe when I know more." She got up and left, closing the door behind her.

Chelsea walked out into the parking lot, and was met by a long bearded old man. He looked disappointed.

"...Why's he looking at me like that...?" She said under her breath.

"I just saw you come out of Louis's apartment. You were thinking a lot of things, in regards to your boyfriend and college education."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "How'd you know that?"

"A spell. Mind Read of the necessity type. I learned that because It was necessary for me to know, and for you to reveal it to me. (I hate using that spell: Way too obtrusive.)"

"You're creeping me out, dude." She stuck her key in the car door lock.

The old man snapped his fingers, and Chelsea couldn't turn her key. "What the-"

"You are not leaving until we've had a chit chat here." The old man crossed his arms and spread out his spry legs.

"WHAT do you WANT?" Chelsea was getting irritated, as well as somewhat disturbed.

"I believe you didn't hear the whole message Twilight made Louis read. Let me ask you: what was detailed in the packet?"

"... Instructions for some crazy magical knife... Just as crazy as all the other stuff that was supposedly in the box. How did you KNOW!?"

The old man teleported to her left side with an impressive visual display. "Magic, missy. Now: What else was in the packet?"

Chelsea's face contorted in shock. "You... Just... Bluh..."

He put a finger to her nose. "The question, please." He had used a simple calming spell, unbeknownst to anyone but him.

"... I don't think there was anything else in it."

"Let me tell you something. I know what I wrote. The packet entailed the ponies' situation, too."

"What? You didn't write that!"

"Whether you believe me or not, You still need to consider that you could have ignored this fact... Deliberately or otherwise."

"... I did want to help! I really did!"

"No you didn't. Don't lie to yourself: You felt you had an obligation to help him and the ponies, but found yourself ignoring the most essential portion of the information because you didn't, in fact, want to help. You wished to get on with your life in your college campus... Get your major, get lots of money, and live the good life."

He looked directly into Chelsea's eyes. "Ask yourself: Is your luxury life worth six innocent lives, which could be lost in Louis's unfortunately insufficient care? Will you turn back to your college campus without looking behind you?... Or will you reconsider helping him?"

"...It doesn't seem complete bogus now, but just dangerous... I might reconsider, knowing the information is coming soon..."

The old man leaned back on Chelsea's car. "What If I told you I was The Friend in Deed?" He teleported out in the same method as before.

Chelsea saw neither hide nor hair of him, but her key would now turn to unlock the door. She sat in the drivers seat and thought for a while on what the old man said, and then turned on the ignition, pulled out of the parking lot, and began her drive back to Michigan university.

Source!

(Consider the quality of this picture to be making up for the last... )

Author's Note: WHOOOOF... Long chapter! I hope you got some sort of kick out of reading that, because that took a long time to write!

CHOLD Chapter 8: Everfree or Nevermore...

Chapter 8: Everfree or Nevermore...

Holy CRAP.

Many people shared Chelsea's thoughts in regards to the M.S.U. Campus. And who wouldn't?

It wasn't that it was enormous: She had gotten over that within a week.

It wasn't that the architecture was impressive: It is definitely what one would call "cool", but She had also gotten over this.

What caused this reaction was the huge tropical rainforest that had sprung up in the same place as the currently deserted campus.

She got out of her car. It was a humid 80 degrees Fahrenheit, despite being early autumn. She experimentally walked out the gate, to be confronted by the 60 degree wall outside it.

From what she could tell, the forest seemed to refuse to change temperature. It sounded with tropical wildlife, including cicadas, song birds, and strange things she couldn't put a finger on. The early morning frost had all but disappeared into a misty film that lingered as various clouds in the canopy.

Chelsea tried driving a little ways to her dormitory, but the growth was too thick to get far...

The car was soon completely snarled in thick foliage and beyond working condition. Her parents would NOT be happy.

She hated the thought of having to walk in the creepy new place, but she sucked in the courage to get out of her car.

An absolute absence of signs of civilized life permeated the campus.

Vines snaked up light poles and huge buildings, while gigantic trees spanned well beyond the tallest buildings the campus had to offer. All signs of power were gone.

...This is all like a stereotypical post apocalyptic movie set.

...Much scarier in real life.

Chelsea continued walking, and begun noticing things. She caught sight of an abandoned cell phone, still on, and still open. She picked it up, hoping to learn of it's owner, and give it to her (It was an obviously girly phone, with sequins and stickers. Not to my taste).

Even more disturbing was a discarded tennis shoe. Chelsea quickened her pace.

A shadowy beast lumbered across the path behind a cloud of mist, causing her to stand completely still in sudden fear.

It turned, and sniffed the air.

She didn't dare to move, breathe, or think.

The beast continued on it's path, and Chelsea found herself seeking the protection of the looming and frightening trees. She continued slowly through the undergrowth.

She saw a set of observing, glowing eyes following her at her exact pace.

A horrible shiver ran down her spine as she continued, knowing something was following her.

Locked!

Chelsea kicked her dormitory door several times, quite eager to get into the building and retrieve her things.

...But that's pointless. I don't have the keys to enter, and I wouldn't be able to carry everything safely!

A large branch fell and broke somewhere behind her. Next thing she knew, her jacket was cut in several spots, she was bleeding in plenty more, and the glass door which had denied her entrance was demolished.

One way I hope to never get in here again.

She made her way to her dorm room and knocked, just in case her rarely seen room mate was there.

No response.

She pulled out her key and unlocked the door. Not thinking twice, she strode into the dorm room and packed the things she would not want to lose to this disaster:

Her laptop, her pillow, the thick, soft blanket her grandma made for her, and a box of granola bars for the trip home disappeared into her backpack, which was hurriedly zipped shut and hoisted onto her shoulder, all the while her mind told her that she could not leave the same way she came.

She paused, and then stole her room mate's abandoned mattress padding.

It may have been necessary to have something soft to lay on if she were stuck for longer than a day, but she also envied her room mate for having such a luxury.

It was downy... And as one who has envy problems and is stuck in a landscape filled with goodies, she was bound to take it.

The glowing eyes were waiting for Chelsea when she left the building with her large burden. She stared at them for a while, and then chose to continue walking.

As in, RIGHT THEN.

The place was TOO CREEPY.

Some time later along the cracked path, Chelsea encountered a huge cluster of blue flowers, and did what anyone would, having never seen such a beautiful flower before.

She picked it.

She ran her finger along a petal, and looked at the center curiously. The flower was intricate, elegant, and reminded her of a Tiger Lily... Except better.. It's pollen stalks curled around, and ended in blue spheres. Two layers of petals made it look like a crown. She took a deep sniff, and found the scent very pleasing.

But she was very practical, and had no need for a blossom... Or the distraction that one could cause.

She tossed the flower aside, and continued walking through the rest that were sticking out through the pavement, which was more gravel than pavement now.

She walked.

Her heart beat grew faster.

She kept walking, leaving the patch of flowers.

Her breathing came faster.

...She kept walking.

She itched and grew fatigued.

...Her face twisted in concentration as she put one foot out in front of the other.

Blue spots of varying size faded into her skin as her temperature increased a little.

She collapsed, but wouldn't give up just yet. She began to crawl.

The itching became a throb, and she began to feel cold.

...Her hands and knees would not support her anymore, but she still tried to continue, dragging herself down the path.

Her symptoms stopped escalating when she suddenly felt very cold and completely worn out, as the throb became prominent enough to screw up her thinking.

She gathered enough strength to pull herself off to the side of the path. Her breath came out loud, short, deep, and rapid as she gripped herself to fight off a cold only she could feel.

She found no strength to move to shelter or to access her backpack's contents.

She was tired, cold, in pain, and very weak. It was a terrifying, helpless state, and there was only one thing she could do.

She began to whimper.

Zecora had appeared that morning in M.S.U. along with a good portion of Everfree's flora and fauna. She was shocked terribly by what she perceived as buildings appearing overnight in the forest, but grew fascinated by the implications of a building's presence.

She watched in the shadows as security guards, upperclassmen and professors evacuated everyone from the campus. As some fell victim to the various venom, poisons, and afflictions of the forest, she snuck up to them and administered the proper medication. She was surprised that the beings were so poorly educated in healing ailments, but so intelligent in caring for wounds.

The beings left quickly, with little in the way of hindrances to their escape.

In the process of trying to pinpoint her hut, she caught sight of Chelsea walking down the broken road alone and quite vulnerable.

Zecora stayed back and observed her, curious why the being would wander in the forest alone. She didn't question her, as she and her ancestors learned their art through observing and carefully recording.

She observed quietly, taking note of her adrenaline induced strength (It was a weak door that Chelsea smashed through, already worn out from slamming, and one of the few doors that did not get replaced at a ridiculously frequent rate. Give her credit though. Not many can smash through a door in any situation!), observing the path she took around the forest, and noting her behavior.

...She took in hand a Poison Joke! How does it affect her folk? Zecora put a hoof outside the shadows, not ready, but willing to heal her when it took effect... Poison Joke was unpleasant for anyone.

She didn't see a prank, but something she wouldn't have anticipated.

Chelsea began to breathe heavily.

Then she started staggering.

Then she fell and had to crawl.

Then her limbs collapsed, and she had to drag herself.

Then she finally dragged herself off the path and clutched herself, breathing heavily, shivering, and whimpering.

Zecora wasted no time. She ran to Chelsea and threw her cloak over her to keep back the fever symptoms. It was somewhat insufficient, being only half the human's size.

She looked Chelsea strait in the face, and spoke with the practiced calm of any doctor. "Your moaning has set me alert. Tell me now: How are you hurt?"

The little zebra was the least of Chelsea's concerns, although on any other day, it would have scared her quite badly.

Chelsea spoke between gasps for air and shivers. "It-t-t-t all hurts a-a-and I-I'm so c-c-c-cold a-a-a-and I c-c-c-c-can't b-b-breathe and-d-d-d I-I-I'm s-s-o t-tired!" She gave out a shuddering gasp. "w-w-what-t hap-p-pened?"

Zecora picked a bean pod from a nearby plant and presented the beans in it to Chelsea. "Consume these: Your pain will ease."

She reluctantly swallowed the beans, and found herself very numb. The small zebra pointed out one of the many spots on her hand.

"This is the mark of Poison Joke: It is not good for any folk, But on your kind, the effects seem stronger. I cannot afford to wait any longer."

She noticed the backpack strapped on Chelsea's shoulders. "Within this pack: Did you bring any greater covering?" she asked, pointing a hoof. Chelsea found herself unable to talk due to another sudden lack of breath, so she opted to simply nod. Zecora quickly figured out the zipper and tucked her in the blanket.

"I'm off to seek your treatment. To your affliction, do not relent." Zecora stared Chelsea in the eyes with all seriousness. Like any doctor, she knew that a patient who's willing to survive has a greater chance of doing so.

"h-h-how could-d-d t-t-t-this k-k-kill me?"

"You must trust me, or you will soon see."

The zebra ran off into the woods as fast as she could for the essential ingredients to the cure.

At the same time...

"Good GRACIOUS! How much does a saddlebag cost?"

Twilight and I were browsing ebay to find supplies for... whatever reason the old man needed us to. We had already ordered shelf-stable foods from a different supplier, and were working our way to items for carrying them.

Twilight knew about human currency because I had helped create a small browser script that would translate cents into bits (A simple right-click system that would take highlighted numbers and do the proper calculations).

I knew about pony currency because we spent a good two hours determining their approximate value.

A lot of debate, and many comparisons of cherry prices revealed that one bit is approximately equal to five cents. the asking price for this small saddlebag was $109.99.

2,200 bits is a lot of money.

"I told you: You probably should just make saddlebags for yourselves." I said.

"There must be a cheaper price somewhere!" Twilight's eyes flew around the screen as she spun the scroll wheel of my mouse rapidly.

"Oh! this set's 200 bits!"

"That's on auction. If you start bidding low, it'll get expensive fast. ...And I can't really afford to have you bid high."

"...'Saddlebag for your dog'? That doesn't even seem useful- OH COME ON! It's 2,500 bits! This website's terrible! You can't even haggle on the price!"

"You can't haggle in normal stores either."

"Okay! Fine! How much does cloth cost?" Twilight yelled in disgust.

Unfortunately, Louis was blissfully unaware of Chelsea's situation.

Chelsea laid there, shivering, gasping, and sweating from the fever. Her eyes darted around in paranoia, finding that she desperately sought the company of the zebra.

Her sweat did not ever seem to stop, and she began to feel thirsty. Her tongue went dry.

The corners of her eyes started going dark as she desperately gulped in air. She began to feel sleepy.

Her gasps grew even bigger as she grew aware that she was fighting for her life. She forced her brain to work by taking in and memorizing the surroundings, regardless of the fact that the jungle's fauna was not recognizable to her.

The throb came back quite some time later. The return of this pain forced her awake and back to whimpering, but the new awareness of the situation sent terrified tears streaming down her face.

She continued to wait.

30 minutes later, Chelsea's condition had worsened.

She was completely dried out, and her body demanded water... which she could not gain on her own.

Her eyes didn't register anything, as they had completely blackened out.

She didn't stop breathing deep, and that was saving her life: Her oxygen deprivation was slowed down enough to avoid a stroke, although her condition was approaching it steadily.

As she desperately clung to hope and consciousness, Zecora came running up to her full tilt, then dumped the contents of a small wooden bowl on her head.

Her symptoms completely ceased as she shot up, taking huge breaths.

She reveled in the sensation of strength.

"Water..." She rasped out. Zecora had thought ahead and gave Chelsea a jug.

She drained the large container of liquid quickly, pondering it's odd contents afterwards. The liquid was very cold, sweet, and seemed to tingle on her tongue. She felt completely refreshed, whatever it was.

"I'm glad my cure worked, and has got you up and perked." Zecora smiled with relief.

"What's in this stuff?"

"It's contents you cannot find, except in heart and within mind. It is a series of verse, made real through discourse. If you let me demonstrate, your curiosity I shall placate."

Zecora took the jug from her hands and placed it on the ground. She began to sing a pretty song in her native language, and two silky streams weaved their way from her head and chest into the jug. Once she was finished singing, the jug was filled to the lip with silvery sparkling liquid.

She corked the jug and slipped it in her satchel.

"...Can you teach me that?"

Zecora chuckled. "If you give me the time, I shall teach you the rhyme... But currently, I have shame, for I don't yet know your name."

"...Chelsea Belrose. And you are...?"

"Zecora, I am named. For my potion work, I am famed."

"I figured as much, since you did save me. ...Do you know this forest well?"

"I know this forest like the back of my hoof. Surely, my cures are certainly proof?"

Chelsea packed the blanket up in her backpack, and stood up. The cuts made her wince slightly, but they had all scabbed over by some miracle. "Great. Awesome. Do you think you could lead me to the edge of the forest?"

The zebra got up from her sitting position and gave her a comforting grin. "Of this, I am sure, as of the black in my fur."

The two took a couple paces, when zecora stopped, having remembered something. "Before we continue, are you sick anymore?"

Chelsea made the foolish decision to keep walking. ...We all have our stupid moments from time to time.

"I wish for an answer-"

"-but aren't we-"

"-of this, I implore!" Zecora gripped her arm in her hooves, a look of worry written on her face.

"It's fine! I'm okay! I've just got a little bit of- *COUGH*" Chelsea gripped her chest, and pulled out a piece of sharp glass.

"...I might need to lay down for a while..." She said after staring at the piece of glass and the wound it caused.

Then she fainted.

The evil bag sat in the inconspicuous clearing in the woods, breathing in absolutely massive quantities of Thaumic energy from the dimensional divide.

...Not even the wizard knew that the bag itself wasn't evil, but rather it's content.

...Within the bowels of the brown cloth bag, it gained awareness.

...It gained a sense of purpose.

...It gained huge amounts of intelligence...

...Finally, it gained thought equally as powerful as it's intelligence.

It observed, and took in it's surroundings, not using eyes, but from which it was born: Thaumic energy.

The energy weaved and twisted around the clearing, taking exact note of it's position.

With impossible understanding, it comprehended it's situation quickly.

...It gave out it's first thoughts.

I have a certainty: I must strike to distract, Then work while away from attention.

... But my planed distraction cannot work unless I strike from multiple points...

...Striking from one point will pinpoint it quickly.

The invisible Thaumic energy sifted further outside the clearing.

I have a certainty: I require a physical vessel to work with.

A Thaumic tendril pinged on 6 small ponies, one small zebra, and a human who was hiding something.

...I cannot conceivably take any one of these as my vessel... They would all suspect and be wary... The human could even try to kill me...

The tendrils retracted into the bag, which now looked unnaturally full.

... My vessel must come from somepony else in Equestria...

... Somepony inexperienced or unwise to the ways of magic...

... Somepony who could grow to be powerful...

... Somepony who could be tricked to work to my benefit.

It let out an evil, but by no means stupid laugh...

I have a certainty: The colt named Starry Lanes must be under my grasp.

If anyone could hear, they'd hear It laughing from two miles out...

...But It was four miles away from civilization, and equally far from anyone civilized... And it knew this.

...It shot a pulse of Thaumic energy into the dimensional divide, ripping another pony sized hole, like it had torn out several times before. It snaked It's invisible Thaumic tendrils across the Michigan landscape, seeking the pony that fell out, readying to guide Starry Lanes to It's position.

As the mass of Thaumic tendrils very slowly scanned the landscape, they left a one mile radius around the locations of the ponies, the wizard, and the former Michigan State University.

Civilization everywhere grew uneasy for inexplicable reasons.

Somewhere in an undisclosed location, the writer pauses, wondering if he's writing doom upon all life as he knows it.

He shrugged, and simply drew this.

Source!

Author's note: IT BEGINS. The transition from setup to adventure!... And it will be glorious.

CHOLD Chapter 9: Big Brown Truck

Chapter 9: Big Brown Truck

By evening, Twilight and I were still pouring over the internet for supplies... For whatever reason the old man wanted us to. While rarity happily busied herself making saddlebags with the small sewing kit and thick cloth I bought her, We were browsing an outdoor website for gear.

I was thankful that Twilight picked up on the U.S. currency system fast, but she still addressed the prices using bits instead of dollars and cents. This caused us both to slow down, as Twilight had to point at the price she was speaking of with a hoof... And I can't seem to figure out what part of the hoof is used to point at objects.

Like a miracle, my meager funds lasted just long enough to buy the last item on Twilight's "be ready for anything" list, which included:

Two full snow suits (for me, and perhaps my girlfriend),

Six dog vests and scarves (Rarity had to be thoroughly convinced that practicality was our primary concern before she would consider wearing "pet garments"),

A six month supply of preserved food (presumably would fit in an enchanted saddlebag),

Two first aid kits,

Two full sets of climbing gear (once again, for me and whoever I take along),

One very long rope,

Eight handheld ice picks,

Two more sleeping bags and accompanying pillows,

Sunscreen (I insisted, since we were already putting everything under the sun on this list. I happen to burn where there's a lot of sun, rarely ever tanning),

Portable water purifier,

Eight water canteens,

And one book on edible wild plants throughout the world.

The extra charge for next day arrival on these items (for the sake of haste) left me penniless until my next day of work. I regarded this fact with disgust, and then got up to devour something, having skipped two meals to do this scavenger hunt.

Twilight wasn't hungry (for some unknown reason), so she made a cup of tea and sat down to read pony fan fiction on my laptop.

You know, for science!

Sitting down with a few other ponies for a late supper, I took a bite into my BBBLT (bacon bacon bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. Don't try this at home unless you have a monster metabolism!) and heard an angry scream from the living room.

Pinkie looked inside her sandwich with a confused expression.

I would have normally laughed, but angry screams in my house do not go unattended. I got up and stood in the living room archway.

"What's the matter?"

"...This... Is the fifteenth author... To make Rainbow Dash do THAT."

"Do what now?" I had an unfortunately good idea what it was...

"THEY PORTRAYED HER KISSING OTHER MARES! Do you EXPECT me to take this well?"

Knew it.

"You know what? Avoid the fictions tagged "romance" from now on. You'll probably get something a bit more worth reading then."

My mind chose to randomly tell me that I had eaten bacon in the presence of herbivores. Lots of it. I mourned the poor sandwich's imminent disposal, but it was for the sake of diplomacy.

Twilight snapped me back to reality. "SHE'S JUST A TOM BOY! how does that equal THIS? It's ILLOGICAL to presume so!"

"The sad thing is, most authors aren't presuming anything. MLP:FIM has little in the way of male characters to 'ship' with the female ones. I once saw a fan fiction where they shipped you and rarity together, to give an example."

Twilight's expression was completely written with shock.

"I didn't read it! The cover picture was blatant!"

There was a long silence.

I shuffled my feet, while Twilight rubbed her temples with her hooves.

Rarity left the room, looking quite green around the gills, while Rainbow Dash, who had seemingly been napping on the couch, fluttered over and closed the laptop.

She stood there, looking calmly at Twilight.

"Don't read that crap, Twi. You said they don't know we're here. This kinda stuff happens."

Having said her message, the pegasus flew back to her place on the couch and settled down again.

Somewhere in Sandy Shores, the dimensional divide destabilized and released a pony. She harmlessly face-planted on the sidewalk, shook her head, and got on four hooves.

A walleyed pegasus with a grey coat and blonde mane and tail examined her surroundings. She swiveled her expressive yellow eyes and flicked her tail, taking in her surroundings.

She had landed at a busy intersection with plenty of traffic and quite a few lights to boot. The green, yellow, and red lights pleased her, so she sat where she was to watch.

Derpy Hooves is a simple mare, who enjoys the simple things in life. Clumsy? Yes. Confused? At times. But she wasn't stupid.

In example, she discovered that the pretty traffic lights were telling the cars when to stop and go. ...And not only that, she discovered that the white signs represented speed... Which is much more than most could from first seeing.

Her ears perked up at a large brown truck.

UPS? What does that mean?

A sixth sense of sorts pricked up in her head.

Oh no... They're mishandling a package! I must save it!

Derpy is a mailmare who is dedicated to her craft... And she cannot stand a mishandled package! The grey pegasus flew strait for the UPS truck.

Chelsea Belrose had slept dreamlessly for almost twelve hours when she felt an encompassing pain.

She gained consciousness as the sharp pain settled into a constant ache.

As her eyes peeled open, she pinpointed the biggest pain to be in her chest... But others were all around her body, including one on her face. She weakly raised a hand to the pain there, and felt a cotton bandage adhered to the spot. Gingerly putting her hand to the big pain in her chest, she felt another wrapped around her body.

Her vision and general awareness improved, causing her to find out some things immediately:

She was down to her underwear, and bandages covered sizable portions of her body.

Fortunately, she was also laying comfortably under her blanket, resting on her pillow and the formerly abandoned mattress pad.

She felt very sick to her stomach and wanted to fall asleep again, but one doesn't simply go to sleep again after sleeping half a day.

Unable to do that, she looked for Zecora. The zebra was laying to the right of her patient, keeping a close eye on her. She spoke while she was still motivated.

"Where'd you put my clothes?"

Zecora smiled, once again relieved that her patient was alive and well. "If your clothing is what you seek, you are wearing it as we speak."

"... Don't tell me..."

"Would you rather be alive, well and naked, or be fully clothed, cold and dead?" She spoke with matter of fact.

"...You tore my best shirt and pants into little strips to save my life... For the second time today. If it weren't for that fact, Zecora, I'd probably deck you for the trouble this will cause."

Zecora chuckled at this. "Come now, we are barely on first name basis! Surely this moment is not the time for fists?"

"I know. Decent clothing is just a general public requirement."

The zebra gave a pitying sigh, and then nudged Chelsea to get up. "Are you well, and able to travel?"

Chelsea was reluctant. It would probably ache every step, and she'd have to let go of any manner of pride she had once before.

It was 8:00 PM, she was hungry, sleepy, and would likely have to crash at her boyfriend's pad (an occasion any witness will note is rare), after being forced to walk through the streets near naked at very late hours. In all likelihood, it would be most unpleasant.

"...Five more minutes..."

Ryan Hall was a busy man, typical in his looks in every way. He drove a big brown truck around all day, and was paid well for it (If "well" is equivalent to near minimum wage). His driving record was flawless, and every single package he delivered reached it's destination in satisfactory condition.

...Except for one. Ryan had to admit he may have kinda dropped a somewhat large rectangular box, sorta denting a corner. ...And he may have kinda sorta put the relatively light package under a large, heavier one.

It didn't bother him. How could they fire him over a single box? It'll still more likely than not make it to it's destination. And the stuff inside was probably in perfect condition!

Right. That's it. Couldn't be in any other condition but perfect.

Ryan paused at a stoplight, obeying traffic laws flawlessly, and causing the poor package to be even more slightly squished. He sipped his lukewarm coffee and looked out the right window with all manner of casualness.

Contrary to popular belief, a surprising sight doesn't always make someone spit their drink. Spill a little when thrusting it downwards, after bubbling into it in an attempt to say "The flippin'...?", Maybe. But no liquid made a projectile course out of his mouth.

Said sight was a pony. Not just any pony, however. This is the kind of pony out of a children's show: small in stature, blonde mane and grey coat, yellow "derped" eyes, flying on seemingly insufficiently sized wings, and looking kind of desperate.

Desperate?

Ryan pulled over, clicked on the four ways, dumped out his coffee (may be spiked with something), and rubbed his eyes. He looked again, and could see it's lips moving.

"Open Up!"

"...What?" He said for disbelief of hearing Derpy speak.

"OPEN UP! I GOTTA GET IN THERE!"

He shrugged. He was pulled over, anyway. Why not let a hallucination into the vehicle? He opened the window, and Derpy flew into the back of the truck like her tail was on fire.

"Don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me it's ruined! It had BETTER not be- *GAAASP*! YOU'RE CRUSHING IT! It's a 20 pound package! You're putting it under 200!"

Wow. Pretty smart hallucination. But there's NO WAY it's hurt. Can't be! Ryan began to sweat nervously.

Derpy flew back, carrying the quite crumpled box in her forelegs. After depositing it gently on the vehicle floor, she grabbed the white-collar worker's ironically brown uniform, and pulled his face up to hers. She shown with worry and agitation, but her eyes did not help Ryan take her seriously.

Her message worked better for that.

"That's a BASIC ERROR everypony in the mail industry can AVOID from DAY ONE! WHAT is WRONG with YOUR HEAD?"

"P-p-possible hallucinations! Why?!"

"If you are, it's not of me! YOUR problem seems to be a lack of CARING!"

"What? Care? Of course I care!"

"ALL I see is CARE LESS! WHO DOES THAT WITH A PACKAGE?"

"Apparently me! Why is it your problem?!"

"It's 'cuz I'm a mailmare with STANDARDS. YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE ANY!"

"I'm not a mare or whatever!"

"I- GUH- BLUH- You're giving me a headache..."

"Me too. Now really: Why are you here?!"

"I wanna deliver your package properly."

"What?!"

She let go of the now wrinkled uniform and floated nose to nose with him. He shuffled away on his car seat to gain some distance.

"...Please? I always deliver things correctly, and I don't smash anything either. I'm not like my cousin, Dizzy Hooves."

"Oddly specific, the 'I don't smash anything' part, don't you think?"

She sulked, and let an adorably pitiful tear slide down her face.

Ryan thought back to his hat and packed lunch. Both were sub par, but might help get her to go away.

He put the cap on the pegasus' head, and handed her the lunch bag.

"Keep those. Take the package to Sandy Shores apartment complex, number 165. Far right column, top floor. Ask for Louis Anderson."

Derpy engulfed his head in a suffocating hug.

"I KNEW you'd see reason! Thank you! You are so wonderful!"

"Mmm knnp brrf. lmmngo!" He pried the exuberant mare off his face.

"Sorry."

"Just take it and go. I'm holding up traffic."

He watched her fly out the window with the crumpled package, very much in high spirits since no blame could be placed on him for the package in question. He also got rid of a messed up hat and a sub-par lunch (Never did like muffins. Why does mom keep buying them?) to boot!

Wait. CRAP. I NEED that HAT.

The car horn made a honk as his head collided with it. He felt like he was going to the "special place in heck" (as his boss called it) for leaving his hat with a "hallucination".

Essentially, no man was in more trouble than Ryan. And it was his own stinkin' fault.

"Twilight, put the fan fiction down."

The purple unicorn had just discovered the "beautiful, literary masterpiece" that was "Cupcakes". Tears of horror streamed down her face from eyes like pinpricks. She ignored me for the 18th time.

"I've said it before, Twi. That story has a bad reputation. You never should have picked it up."

She mouthed the words she was reading off the screen, ignoring me for the 19th time.

"Put it down."

No response. 20th.

I waited.

"Come on, Twilight. I heard you say this was garbage moments before."

Her eyes remained glued to the screen. 21st.

Rainbow Dash was still sleeping. Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie were watching late-night baseball out of pure curiosity... Which was fine by me: I hardly ever use that TV for it's basic purpose anyway.

Fluttershy conversed on and off with Rarity, as Applejack and Pinkie got into the game.

"Fine. I'll leave you to your self inflicted trauma," I said, turning to the baseball game.

"Don't leave me alone with it."

"What? Okay, listen. Just close the laptop and be done with it! It's not that hard! Raise a hoof or wave your horn! Simple!"

"I can't."

By this time, Twilight and I were more interesting than the game.

"One of those stories?"

"Rainbow Dash is dead."

"Oookay, that's enough for you. Laptop. Gimme." I seized the offending equipment, freeing Twilight from her restraint of horror.

"...Thanks."

"Gracious, Twi, You're just as stubborn as you're purple." I shot her a frustrated glare.

"What's that even mean?"

"The phrase compares a psychological attribute of yours to an assurance- NEVER MIND THAT! No more laptop for you without strict supervision."

"But... That thing's like my library..."

"You abused the privilege and hurt yourself."

"How did I-"

"Don't tell me that story didn't hurt you."

"What? That silly block of text? Of course it didn't!"

"Look in a mirror lately?"

She stared me in the eyes. They looked a bit puffy, and had dried tear stains running down from them.

"Cumulative stress." She stated simply.

"If that's true, then go and take a nap or something. You still look exhausted."

She glowered at me, insulted that I'd suggest such a thing. "You. Are not the boss of me."

"I still know what you want. Your ears twitched slightly when I mentioned a nap... And your eyes twinkled a bit."

Her ears had twitched again. As she noticed this, her offense dissolved completely.

"...Fine..."

She walked halfway to the bathroom before stopping. She turned her head back to me, confusion and embarrassment on her face.

I rose an eyebrow in confusion, trying to ponder what she wanted.

Twilight scuffed a foreleg on the carpet, waiting awkwardly.

"What?" I finally asked.

"How do you work the tub?"

It was 9:00, and all equines residing in my apartment were sound asleep. The tub crash course worked perfectly, and all ponies had decided to take a quick bath before bed.

I, however, was once again the sentinel of the dining room. I kept my eyes trained on the door, prepared to intercept any and all comers.

Particularly in mind was a package from an enigmatic old man. I had no idea why it hadn't arrived in the afternoon like most other promised packages, but here I sat, waiting for it.

I heard a knock, much like hoof on wood. Having granted entrance to my guests several times previously, I knew it was a pony on the other side.

My mind spun in thought, attempting to contemplate who.

"Package for Mr. Anderson!" A grey pegasus with blonde mane, and "derpy" eyes gave me a little smile.

Oh. Duh. Of course it's Derpy. She has the box I was supposed to receive, after all.

"Hi, Derpy. Thanks for the delivery... When did you get a job at UPS?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're wearing a UPS hat."

"Oh, this? a nice man gave it to me after letting me deliver the package! ...Sorry it's crushed..."

I stared at the odd shape of the box. Someone must have rolled it down a hill before handing it off to her.

Before I could stop myself, my mouth shot off on it's own. "Did you crush it?"

"NO NO no no no! It's not me! You know the man I was talking about? he had stuck it under 200 pounds of weight. 200. Poor guy must have been having a rough day."

"Alright. Sorry. That just kinda happened."

She gave me a confused look. "What happened?"

"Daaauuuh- Not important. One last question: Why was it late?"

Derpy had deposited the box, and was about to flutter out the door.

"I... Guess I got a bit lost."

"And why is that?"

"I've never been to this part of Equestria before. what else?"

"This isn't Equestria. It isn't even your universe. Felt you'd like to know."

Silence. I waited as her eyes showed her attempt to comprehend what I said.

"Oh."

"'Oh'? Just 'Oh'?"

She grinned. "Yah! I really oughta take this in stride, because the fundamental makeup of this portion of the multiverse could be changing as we speak, and then things will be REALLY different!"

"Woah. That was pretty smart."

"These eyes aren't just hiding air!... Am I forgetting something?"

"Uh... I think I need to sign for the package."

A lightbulb switched on in her head, as she pulled up a form from seemingly nowhere. I simply signed it, being quite used to Pinkie's shenanigans already. It hardly surprised me.

Handing the pen back to her, I informed her that she needed to catch the UPS driver and hand the form back to him.

When she darted off, I locked up and headed to bed, ready to unpack the box and figure out how to use it's contents to the best of my ability.

Tomorrow, US postage willing, we would head out for The Friend in Deed's house for further information.

... I heard a knock sometime at 1:00 AM.

It had been very busy blowing open holes in the dimensional divide. It's handiwork caused the transfer of Lyra, Bonbon, Cherilee and a good chunk of her student body, and still a couple more colts.

It's thaumic tendrils had spanned all over the state, as it systematically created pony-sized holes in the divide, looking at each transferred pony as they came in 30 minute intervals.

The tendril network pinged on another colt with extremely high magic power, after much searching. It was quite pleased.

It released an evil chuckle.

"I do believe I've found you, Starry Lanes..."

It contracted It's massive landscape of thaumic tendrils instantly into the bag. No one noticed.

The holes were sized so as to find Starry Lanes if he fell in, but their true purpose was to let the thaumic tendrils see more on the Equestria side of the barrier.

The bag released one single, large tendril through the hole relative to where Starry Lanes could be found. It made sure to do this slowly, so the winged unicorn matriarchs would not notice, or at least, not pay it any mind.

It knew full well of the panic It could have set on Equestria by making things slip through dimensions. The entire Everfree had disappeared, after all.

The invisible tendril snaked it's way up through the dimensional divide, slowly, seeking out it's prey.

A good looking 18 year old woman stood on my doorway, partially covered in scraps of cloth, and otherwise naked, save for her underwear. She happened to be carrying what I presumed to be her backpack, Which was quite full.

I wasn't quite so concerned about the what as I was about the why.

"Chelsea! What happened?"

"That forest from MLP happened. Can I crash at your place?"

"Sure. Of course."

"Thanks," She said, stepping in and making her way to a secluded corner of my dining room.

"Explain," I added, realizing she didn't really tell me anything.

"Oh! Right. Sorry. Kinda blew you off." She set up a pillow, blanket, and mattress pad, all of which I had no idea how she had gotten.

She sat on her makeshift bedspread, and took a tired breath. She let it out with a sort of melancholy sigh.

I sat down next to her, propping my arms on my knees.

"After leaving you, I saw an old man who did magic standing by my car. He told me that I made a mistake, although I don't know how he knew about our exchange, and I ignored him."

"Did he say anything about who he was?"

"Said he was The Friend in Deed."

"Probably was."

She paused, and her eyes focused on nothing while she thought about this.

Chelsea continued after a while. "I drove into Michigan State, and found the place overrun with a rain forest. That place... Never changed it's temperature. Always 80."

She delved deeper into her recap. "I tried driving over the roads which were still paved, and got my car completely stuck. I don't think it's salvageable. ...I walked the rest of the way to my dorm to get my stuff from the deserted campus."

She paused again for a yawn. "My method of entry was... Less than preferable. Something in the forest scared me so badly that I smashed right through the window and got all cut up."

"Ooooh!" I winced.

"Yeah." She let out a nervous laugh. "When I got in the dorm, I thought that some students could be hiding in it. It was deserted, and... I stole my room mate's mattress cover."

"...What? Why? There's no reason for that!"

"...I wanted it? ...Ever since I first saw it?"

"Well, great. You're guilty of petty theft, and there's no way we could find her to return it."

"...It's downy..."

"And you're so much more justified for it. Continue, criminal." I really was upset with her, but it's hard to stay mad at someone who's very presence can make a bad day a good one.

Her face turned a little pink as she let out a short sigh. She brushed her now-undone hair behind her head before continuing. "That wasn't the only kind of stupid I was today. Never discover the deadly effects of Poison Joke first hand."

"Wait... You're telling me that you nearly died?"

"Yeah. The stuff made me weak, short of breath, feverish, and in constant pain. I think I was getting oxygen deprivation, because my vision went dark just before Zecora found a cure."

"Man... Good zebra to have around."

"Yeah... She also noticed the rogue glass shard I had in my side before it did anything major."

"What!? You didn't tell me that!"

"Quiet down. Your guests are probably trying to sleep. Now, that left me unconscious for almost 12 hours, and Zecora had taken the opportunity to take care of my cuts with what she had on hand: My expensive clothing I selected for meeting you that morning."

"I understand why you're near naked now, but I can't ever say I'll understand why you're upset."

She took this with a huff, and continued. "Zecora escorted me out of the forest and back here safely, where you see me now."

I wrapped her in a hug. "... If you had called me, I could have got you out of there."

"...No phone reception. I checked. ...And your car wouldn't have made it anyway."

"Need anything before I go?"

"I think I'm fine. Just sleepy."

"I should probably leave you alone then."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then turned off the lights and shuffled up the stairs.

I hadn't done much of anything all day, and yet I felt very exhausted.

I have nothing to tell you,

yet plenty to say.

Be sure to stick around:

This won't fade away.

I have plenty to hide,

and tons to reveal:

Much like an empty plate

that holds a scrumptious meal.

You do not see a picture,

and yet, here it is!

Source!

...Much like a dust speck

that's quite hard to miss.

I have plenty to tell you,

yet nothing to say.

Be sure to leave soon:

This will fade away.

"Contradictions", a 'because I can at the end of the chapter' poem

Author's note: I can't make zecora stick to her meter. What a shame...
In other news, This fan fiction might be slower in it's progress than previously. You know how an author has the beginning and the end of the story all figured out, but doesn't know of anything in the middle? That's me.
Wish me luck!

CHOLD Chapter 10: Nightmare

Chapter 10: Nightmare

For the past few days, true sleep was a foreign concept to Rainbow Dash. Several reasons could be stated for this. It could be that, having been designated emergency guardian (or "godmare", if you will) of Scootaloo by the filly's parents, and having no way of contacting said filly, that she was loosing sleep.

She could have been feeling somewhat claustrophobic in the apartment, and wanted to actually go out and meet somepony for once, and this justifiable obsession kept her awake.

It could have been simply that she was napping all day, and didn't need the rest when bedtime came.

All these could have been true, but something else was the biggest contributor to her fitful rest: Nightmares.

It surprised her that she was being afflicted by nightmares, since she was quite fearless and matured psychologically.

It did not help that said nightmares were shockingly realistic depictions of her adventures having gone wrong. Every time she drifted off to sleep, Her element of harmony would shatter, or her friend would fall too fast to be saved, or Nightmare moon permanently set eternal night on Equestria, or Discord had turned every single pony to grey, or Shining Armor would be a lifeless shell like over 3/4 of the Equestrian population.

Then, two great red eyes would peer out from the darkness at her, and then she'd be covered with frigid darkness. She'd shoot awake, gasping for breath as though she was drowning, and drift off to sleep again.

Rainbow Dash didn't have the guts to tell anyone about the nightmares, somehow fearing worse would occur if she did...

...But her friends wouldn't dare tell anyone of theirs, either.

Starry Lanes was a unicorn colt with a dark blue mane and a crimson coat. Those who met him would describe him as smart and athletic, although surprisingly timid. He functioned well in school and had a decent ammount of friends, but almost never made them through any efforts of his own, being quiet, yet cheerful.

Currently, he slept soundly in his bed, having had a great day with his parents. They had gone to the park, and he saw his friends there. He started a great game of hoofball with them, and got ice cream afterwards.

Then, they went to the library, and got the latest copy of Daring Doo, which he read until bed time.

It was an exhausting, yet very fun day, and his dreams were filled with happy images and sensations...

Something pulled him off the bed, and he fell through a dimensional hole.

The mane six all shot up at the same time from a horrible nightmare.

Rainbow Dash was up on all four hooves with her hackles up within seconds.

Rarity had let out a genuine shriek and was halfway off the bed before she realized it.

Applejack bucked Twilight in the head before she could stop herself.

Similarly, Twilight scorched the ceiling with raw magic and had a headache afterwards.

Pinkie's stomach tightened and burned, bringing pained sobs from the not easily saddened earth pony.

Fluttershy was petrified with irrational terror.

Needless to say, this was so unlikely an occurrence that the ponies could only guess that something was horribly wrong. They stared at each other with their manes in a mess (save for Rarity, of course), and their eyes showed evidence of the deep fear that graced their minds moments before.

Twilight said something: "...There will be terrible ills ravaging every kingdom..."

"What did ya say, sugarcube?" Applejack asked. Pinkie sobbed loudly again, drawing everypony's attention. Fluttershy and Twilight tried to diagnose Pinkie, while she changed topics to something more urgent.

"We're all awake. Did you guys have nightmares too?"

"Yes." They replied in unison. All this sudden racket woke Chelsea and Louis.

"What happened?!" Chelsea and I ran into the room, and saw a tormented scene. All the ponies were huddled around Pinkie, who was bawling her eyes out and clutching her stomach.

It's 3:00 A.M. Why do I always have to deal with top priority problems at late hours? A big exaggeration, of course, unless you count an annoying fire alarm with the tendency to run out of juice at odd hours.

"A nightmare woke us ALL UP, and now Pinkie's stomach hurts! I just wanna be able to sleep!" Rainbow complained.

I rushed over to the pink earth pony. "Pinkie! Do you feel sick? What's happening?"

She tried to say something, then thrust her head into a nearby trash can and barfed.

"Ugh. Thanks for avoiding the carpet."

Pinkie only returned to her place on the bed and whimpered. Fluttershy began to fret over her again, while Chelsea stood in the background, looking worried.

I got to Pinkie's eye level, and put a hand on her side. "Midnight Tummy-ache?" I asked, trying harder to be calm.

She let out a very Fluttershy-esque squeak.

"Yes?"

"...Pinkie sense. I don't know why, but it hurts like hot peppers, not like way too much candy. I don't think anything's hurt like this, and I've gone through a lot. I've fallen down the stairs, tripped over rocks, got my hoof stuck under a rock, bit a rock-"

My hand shot out and wrapped around her muzzle. She quieted down, and gave me time to think.

Various conclusions flew through my head, but only one held merit.

We must see the old man. Now.

I got up, and stood where I could be seen in the few lights flicked on.

"Guys? Everything must be packed. We're leaving. Now."

All faces were plastered with shock as they turned to me.

My fear rose to the surface again. "This can't be a coincidence! All of you woke up, suddenly terrified, and Pinkie's Pinkie sense shows up so strong that she has to barf! I should have got us all going when the package came, but I thought it could wait! Something evil is behind your slip through the dimensional holes!"

Cold sweat poured down my back.

"It has to have been an accident!" Twilight retorted.

"Really? Tell that to Derpy Hooves! Tell that to Chelsea! She almost DIED when the Everfree forest blew up her college campus! If you feel so confident in it, Tell that to Zecora!"

"What? The Everfree's here?!" Fluttershy whimpered.

"You never said anything about Derpy or Zecora!" Twilight yelled at me.

"And what about the SHEER 'COINCIDENCE' that all the mane six would appear in one guy's apartment?! Why not spread across the globe?!"

"Shut up!" Someone yelled through the walls. I continued, undaunted.

"Face it, guys! Something is behind this, and we're going to need answers NOW."

I shut up when I heard Fluttershy start crying. If she cries, you listen, or you have no soul.

Her tears weren't nearly as fast flowing as the cartoon depicted them, but they were still quite the waterworks.

"I've b-b-been having nightm-m-m-mares ever since com-m-ming here! I didn't think they were im-m-m-mportant, b-b-but they've all been the same!"

She described her dreams, all of which which Rainbow Dash and the other members of the Mane Six had been suffering from similarly. They confirmed this with a rush of frightened chatter.

Chelsea stepped in to take control of the situation. "Wait, guys! Wait! What was it that scared you all awake at the same time?"

Fluttershy lost her composure again, and fear shot back into the other ponies' eyes, visibly flinching.

Nopony was looking eager to share (Rainbow Dash glared at Chelsea when asked about it), so Twilight took the initiative and recounted her dream.

She was standing in a field at night. The chilly air whipped at her mane and tail, and penetrated her coat right through.
The sky only had red stars, and permafrost had settled on plants that bloomed in summer, making everything seem covered in a thick, near-transparent sheet of ice. She sought shelter from the horrible cold by walking in a strait line.

Icy grass cut her legs and tripped her as she staggered in the same line as before. She couldn't conceive how this would help, but continued walking despite her best interests, shivering, and gazing through the diamond dust.

Something followed her. She couldn't hear it, see it, or even see evidence of it's passing, but something unquestionably followed her. Her head swiveled around rapidly as she tried again and again to find evidence of it.

She bumped into a towering glacier that was not there moments before. Perfectly, almost naturally melted into it's side was a message:

"there will be terrible ills ravaging every kingdom"

SILENCE. No wind, only the sound of her breath and of the icy grass snapping under hoof. A terrible, numb cold gripped her insides suddenly, just as even purer darkness settled over the iced landscape, making only the unsettling red stars visible.

She cast a light spell, and found herself in Ponyville, completely iced over. Another turn, and she found herself on the Sandy Shores apartment complex's rooftop, and all landscape was just as iced over.

She kept whipping her head around, and the locations cycled. Skeletons of ponies and humans started appearing, completely frozen in positions of terror.

Locations started cycling every time she moved her eyes, as the body count built up rapidly. She stepped backwards, only to find her hoof fell onto a hand. She lurched up only to bump into into a huge writhing stallion. She let out a gasp, and started running straight through Ponyville's streets.

More frozen skeletons appeared as Ponyville streets cycled with Sandy Shores streets. Her breath came out heavy with terror as her heart raced, trying to keep up with her full tilt run.

She tripped over many more frozen bones, slipped, and slid her way into Ponyville's fountain center, meeting the fountain's edge with full force and falling into the icy cold water.

Twilight closed her eyes tight, unable to bear the cycle any longer. She curled up tightly, and shivered in the fountain's frigid waters, not caring anymore of the cold... Just so long as she wouldn't have to see another skeleton.

The water warmed, and she heard daily activity going on in Ponyville. The sounds of foals giggling tickled her eardrums as birds tweeted softly.

"What are you doing in the fountain, miss?" A young colt asked her. Twilight raised her head and opened her eyes.

All temperature dropped instantly. Frozen, broken bones now littered the equally cold landscape alongside iced over skeletons laying everywhere.

Twilight looked frantically around, desperately trying to find the colt who spoke to her. Her throat got raw from breathing the cold diamond dust, and tears froze to her face as she cried from fear.

She blinked.

Something shoved a cotton bag over her head, and was slowly forcing her into it. She kicked, flailed, screamed, and shot magic.

Nothing worked, and she was soon completely inside it, despite the fact that it couldn't have possibly fit her before. She bit at the sides and kicked, screaming some more inside the muffled atmosphere.

Out of desperation, she charged her strongest magic bolt, and let it go.

"...And now the ceiling is scorched."

"Great. The land lord will not be happy." I had said the first thing to come to mind. The account of the nightmare did calm my nerves, but It also reinforced my suspicions.

"I don't think a scorch mark is our biggest concern, Louis." Chelsea cut in. She then spent the next couple of minutes asking the other five ponies what their nightmares were like. They did vary from Twilight's, but not significantly enough to deny that something was definitely wrong.

A thought occurred to me.

There is no question that we're going to need the equipment we ordered. If Everfree fell through a hole, who knows what other hostile environments may follow... And monsters. I don't want to be caught scaling a mountain, being chased by a dragon, and not having the gear to help me ascend. And the cold environments: The old man told us specifically not to rely on the gloves and hoof covers to keep us warm. What would happen if we lost those? Aaaugh, so much to worry about!

"Okay, guys. I panicked. We can't go anywhere without the stuff we ordered. It's too dangerous. Let's just wait until tomorrow when it comes in, and then we can all go in a panicked rush."

Applejack looked relieved. "You said it. I'm going to sleep now." She buried herself under the covers quickly. While Rainbow Dash followed suit in about the same manner, The other four ponies continued to look at me.

It was time for a pep talk, it seemed. I got down on my knees, and focused my gaze on them.

"Uh... I think I know what you're going through here, and I'm trying my best to help you fix this."

They stared in mild confusion. Pinkie moaned quietly, but nopony spoke up.

"It's just that... This is tough for me too, I guess. I've been wracking my brain for the past 48 hours to find a solution to a problem that's outside my experience, and my only leads have been from an old man none of us know, and a set of extremely disturbing dreams that don't really point to anything specific.

Worse yet, if I screw up somehow, who knows what will happen? Chelsea had a nasty run-in with some Poison Joke, and It was just luck that Zecora was there to save her in time. What if we get into something nastier?

...Okay, sorry. This isn't helping anyone." I began to head back upstairs, when I heard Pinkie say something. I almost missed it because it was so soft.

"Optimism, Captain." Pinkie said with a silly smirk.

That alone somehow helped me considerably.

Starry Lanes staggered through the frostbitten forest he landed in. He was tired and freezing, and the light spell he had been using was doing his endurance no favors.

This can't be real. This isn't real. I was just in my bed! It's got to be a dream. It can't be anything else. I know it.

A gust of frigid wind blew over him, and he let out a small cry as it tore through his shallow fur and went strait to the bone. He kept going, and grasped desperately onto the hope that he'd wake up.

Wind blew in his ears.

Leaves crunched underhoof.

His breath rasped as the frost made his throat raw.

Minutes passed.

An hour passed.

Finally, after what seemed like all night, the little colt stumbled upon a strange clearing. It had no leaves to speak of on the ground, and a completely random cotton bag in it's center. The place was unsettling, but something had been telling him to go there since he got to the forest.

He put more strength into his light spell, and cautiously approached the piece of litter. His body tingled in an unsettling way, but he didn't stop or turn back.

Something snapped in the background. He completely stopped moving as his head whipped towards the source.

"Hello? ...Mom? ...Dad?" He questioned the source hopefully, although his head told him that they wouldn't be here.

He got within a yard of the bag, and his approach got much slower. He could barely stand the impending sense of danger it was giving off, but still couldn't stop... Almost like something was pulling him.

It's tendril was wrapped around the colt like an iron vice, although he couldn't possibly notice the grip.

It had gripped the bicyclist in the same, subtly strong method to prevent It's continued affliction of curses from the disgustingly decrepit human that had been passing down It's path for weeks. It was thankful that the human never saw the wisdom in It's outright destruction, but would make sure that he was eliminated while still outside of the knowledge of It's upcoming transformation.

...Starry tentatively poked the bag with a hoof. It seemed safe...

A loud voice erupted from the bag as it shot towards Starry's face.

"FINALLY MINE!"

The crimson coated colt had no time to react before it covered his head. The blood vessels in his ears thumped as he kicked at the cotton material and shrieked. Tears of sheer terror streamed down his muzzle as the situation began to look more and more hopeless.

The material expanded and engulfed his forelegs. Bone-chilling laughter rang loudly in his ears as the horrible tingle reached it's peak. He tried using telekinetic magic as he grew more desperate, but it seemed to only cause the trap to progress further.

The little colt put up a huge fight for 2 minutes, but could not keep it up when the bag got to his knees.

He instead screamed, yelled, hollered, and made as much noise as he possibly could until his throat went sore. The formerly small sack engulfed him completely. His ears rung from the horrid laughter until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"SHUT UP!" Words never came out of the colt's mouth, but the voice in the sack became silent. Starry was further shocked by this odd occurrence.

The wind blew as Starry shifted nervously.

"I take it you're surprised, Starry Lanes? It's not every day somepony encounters a silencing spell."

"What do you want with me?" Once again, nothing came out. The little colt squinted his eyes shut, trying not to think about how hopelessly trapped he was. It did him no good.

"Why would anypony want anypony else? It always stems from a need: A longing for love or companionship, a powerful thirst for revenge or blood, a potent need for guidance or assistance, or perhaps... A desire for a key or tool?"

"You want to kill me? What did I do to you?"

"Nothing. You are simply a naive foal with untapped potential, and I'm going to drain it dry to fulfill my goals. You are a tool. Tools are always used when obtainable."

Starry's horn glowed, and he could feel energy being pulled from his laylines. Air sucked towards a point and started forming into matter: Magic completely outside Starry's will and skill level.

A new wave of terror rushed through the colt, bringing energy to kick at the bag and scream once more. Still no sound came out of his mouth, and exhaustion took him quickly as his magic trickled dry. He was reduced to laying limp, gloomily accepting that he was now a power generator for some malevolent entity without a face.

Several minutes passed, as the matter began to form a silhouette.

This time, the voice came from the new shape. "I really must thank you for being so cooperative. There are no other ponies of your magical strength living in Equestria, and it's fortunate I managed to find you... What a shame you will never be able to utilize your power for yourself." It twisted the truth with perfectly even tone of voice and crushed the little colt's hope.

"What are you doing with me?"

"Ah yes. I don't suppose there's any harm in telling you, since you will remain silent as long as you are in that sack."

Blood red and dark blue began to show up in the silhouette.

"So deep and strong is your wellspring of magic that I can create a true vessel to house my soul, instead of that pathetic sack you're inside of."

Details began to show up in the silhouette: It was proving to be huge.

"With this new body, I will be able to channel my magic in it's full potential, and will have little use for you."

The foggy figure turned it's menacing head towards the sack, picked it up, and tied the straps around it's neck.

"I'll only keep you alive to stabilize my body. You will not be granted freedom at any cost, for what you know could easily be told. My magic will sustain you and keep you from making your escape or speaking. I advise that you get used to your situation, for I have a certainty that you will be there for a long time."

Angry tears silently fell down the colt's face as he was suspended from the thing's neck.

It chuckled with cruel mirth, sending chills down Starry's back. "Ha ha ha ha... Don't cry, little foal. At least you'll stay warm."

The silhouette finally took shape, suddenly depressing the leaves under It's hooves. It stood at 10 feet tall on all four hooves, covered in blood red fur and dark blue mane. It's singular unicorn horn curved upwards to a nasty point. It mostly looked like a huge unicorn, but for more than a few odd features.

It's bright blue irises left no room for the whites of the eyes, and the slitted pupils showed bright yellow. Bright blue lines glowed in a network along It's fur, and armor covered It's body partially.

Most disturbing, however, was the two arms composed of hovering metal and bright red gemstones that connected to the base of It's neck. As with the horn, massive quantities of thaumic energy hummed off of them, and Starry could feel all of it.

Starry mustered up the courage to ask another question.

"Who are you?"

"I am The Stallion of Dusk and Ice, Nightmare Moon's Vicious Revenge, and he who brings terrible ills ravaging every kingdom. I am your new prince of Equestria and many many more universes to come. I am the continuer of Nightmare Moon's noble work.

I am Tirek, And you will do well to remember me."

I figuratively require you to view the source. It looks much better there!

Since this is such a huge picture, you all cannot say I never did anything for you!

...Anyway, I kinda feel my writing style going flat. If you agree, please give me some suggestions to make it better. I'd appreciate any help that comes my way.

Pony on, Bronies!

-Electroshock

CHOLD Chapter 11: What is This, a Soap Opera?

Chapter 11: What is This, a Soap Opera?

I should get my head checked again... The Sandwich Quartet sang "Rhapsody in Blue" this time... And they made horrible lyrics for it.

I rose from my bed like a member of the (luckily unhindered) undead, and tromped down the stairs. Work and ponies were on my mind.

What am I going to do to keep them safe and sane while I work? They're horrendously bored as it is, and I'd hate to think what could happen when they're unsupervised... A vengeful landlord pops to mind.

Vivid imagery of a horde of news media crowded around my apartment for eternity sprung into my head without mercy. However, routine dragged me to the cupboard where I keep my pop-tarts, undaunted by the concept. I planned to toast and eat a set of poptarts, and then be heading out the door quickly.

Maybe I should rethink my schedule a little-

"AAUGH PINKIE NOT AGAIN!"

The resulting explosion of confetti was strong enough to make me loose my balance. I had to grip the table to stay up!

Once my balance was in control again, I confronted Pinkie Pie, who was apparently armed with her party cannon, and most certainly restraining giggling.

"What are you doing in my cupboard?"

"Twi told me to remind you that you promised that we'd be getting ready to go on a wild goose chase with the strange old man you met in the soopermarket to find out how we got into your dimension! Why would we be chasing wild geese anyway? Only two of us can fly, and geese aren't very good for farms or anything- Oh! unless you want to eat them or something else-" *mmph?*

My hand seemed to be quite used to the particular motion required to silence the jubilant earth pony.

"Thanks, Pinkie. It helps me remember that I'm going to ditch work for the safety of earth and Equestria."

My job is SO dead.

"...I'm going to make my PopTarts now." I grabbed a silver lined package (regrettably, the last one) and made my way to the toaster.

"Wait! Derpy got a job with UPS and delivered our other box this morning! Isn't that great? And how can I help pack?"

"First of all, are you sure you feel better, Pinkie?"

She jumped out of the cupboard with a double front flip and struck a cheesy pose. "Yupperooni!"

"Good. Twilight should have something for you to do, but I have other things to attend to right now."

Pinkie gleefully bounced into the living room and loudly woke Twilight up. Not my intended result... Meanwhile, I turned to the exhausted form of Chelsea Belrose. Her hair was messily spread out over the pillow, and the comforter she laid comatose under was crumpled. It was all matched by her mouth being agape.

She looked so beautiful that I wished she didn't have to get up at all... But she can't leave the house with decent attire, and she can't get it if she's asleep.

I ran a hand through her hair. "Chelsea... You should-"

"Go away, Laurie. You are not my alarm clock."

"Well then! Does Laurie wake you up all the time, or are you forgetting what occurred in the past 24 hours?"

She shot up with a gasp, but to her credit, gained her composure milliseconds afterwards. "Yeah, actually. Every day of class, ten minutes before my alarm. I don't believe I forgot the ponies."

"Good, because you have no plea for incompetency like I do."

"Pfft. Shut up. You're not incompetent." She cracked a smile. "Now why am I up at 6:00 in the morning?"

I stated the obvious for the heck of it.

"Well, I first woke up..."

"Yeah?"

"And then I got up..."

"Really?" Her voice came out with amused sarcasm.

"And then I got you up."

She laughed. "You don't say?"

"But I do. My daily routine is just so... so... shocking."

She gifted me with another laugh. "I'd be just as shocked if my life resembled yours. Now really: Why am I up?"

"We've got everything. Just need to get packed and decent for the trip."

"Oh! Good! Do you have anything that I can wear?"

"Silly question. My wardrobe is open for your taking."

As Chelsea hopped up and ascended the stairs, I took a look at the box that was delivered last night.

"Twilight? Are you awake?"

"Rrrgh. Yeah. You can thank Pinkie for that." I heard the sound of approaching hoof-steps, and soon found the sleepy looking, dedicated student of Princess Celestia in my vicinity.

"Are you ready to unbox last night's package? Curiosity has been tearing at me since we got it."

Her ears perked up, and she gave a little gleeful smile. "More than ready! I could feel the laylines ever since it came in!"

"Great. Let's open it, then."

The cardboard collapsed to pieces in Twilight's eager magic, leaving it's contents amidst a pile of shredded packaging. Nothing seemed to catch my attention at first, but as I laid eyes on the sheathed knife, my head began to tingle. I bent down to pick it up.

It's sheath consisted of well polished white steal and black leather, and contained a blade just shorter than a typical short sword. Intricate curves and knobs of steel held the leather in place over the sheath's core, and tiny green symbols flashed randomly around the opening. Six steel latches held the blade in place, each glowing constantly with a green symbol. The whole set was extremely light, and I could feel a light tingle in my hands where I held it.

The steel latches clicked open as I took out the knife. The double-edged long knife had a blade that reflected like a mirror, and a hilt of the same polished white steel as on the sheath. A complex intertwining design which fit both my hands perfectly wound down the grip to a crescent moon with it's blunt points pointing outward. The middle of the guard had a symbol of a sun engraved in it, and it's ends tapered off into knobs. Both reminded me of Celestia and Luna's Cutie Marks. The blade was lighter than air, propelled inexplicably with wind when swung, and sent pulsations of strong tingles down my arm that I griped it with. I could only conclude that there was hefty portions of magic pushed into the weapon.

Chekhov's gun If I ever saw it. A misuse of the phrase, in retrospect.

I turned my gaze toward the gloves and hoof covers. Their simple dark brown cotton makeup paled in comparison to the knife, but seemed to have their own ambient tingles as well.

"Twilight? Are you up to an experiment now?"

Twilight had her nose buried in the footnote riddled copy of "Super Naturals", currently resting open on the floor.

"Give me a moment. I'm still memorizing page 32."

Eye roll.

"Time for that later, Twi. It's not like we won't have it with us when we're traveling."

She let out a disappointed sigh, closed the book, and walked up to my side.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Activate it." I said, holding the knife up to her horn.

She gave me a confused look, then opened the instruction packet and leafed through it. She came back about a minute later, and sent a flicker of light into the reflective surface of the blade.

A huge shock wave-tingle shot from my arm to all other portions of my body and faded into a more numb one. At the same time, symbols flashed across my body from my arm, and the blade glowed bright green and left a trail of misty light when moved. I could see strange violet winding lines twisting around Twilight's horn, and a lingering violet cloud condensed into more transparent lines around my knife.

Stranger yet was the complete consciousness I was feeling in my mind, and the green twisting lines leaving my body to surround my knife. The weapon continued to pulse it's same tingles, except much stronger.

I felt alive.

There was one phrase that stayed loyal to me whenever I expressed intense shock or awe, and I wasn't about to let it fail me now.

"Holy FLIPPIN CRAP."

"Ah! Great! Flipping poop for sure! Can I shut it up now?"

"'shut it up'?"

"That heavily enchanted weapon of great power is making so much magical NOISE! It's driving me crazy! I thought I would have to yell through it!"

"Oh! Um... Yes. Do that. Shut the enchanted thingy off."

All effects except for the ambient tingle left me, and the blade returned to it's normal state.

Twilight let out a brief, relieved sigh. "There. Now I seem to recall a certain male homosapien resident was going to help me pack?"

"But, I was the one who decided we should do it in the first place..."

"Think, Louis: I woke up early, Pinkie was the cause, I made a huge checklist, this needs to be done, and you are dawdling. Who do you think is the leader because of this?"

I rose my hands in slight shock. "Wow, Twilight... Egomania?"

"You, because I'm in no mood to put up with any horse-apples from anyone else! And as your friend, I vote that we start now, because you said that we needed to get out of here ASAP! You said so yourself! So hop to it!"

Thank goodness I was wrong... I went into the living room with Twilight, and then properly ransacked the place until it could be used for organizing supplies. Five more ponies woke up and were ready and able to work, although one wasn't particularly willing. Rainbow Dash, just in case you're clueless.

Packing was quite easy after several amendments to Twilight's ridiculously long checklist (Quadruple check? That's going too far, Twi!). It essentially consisted of enchanting the white, Cutie Mark emblazoned custom saddlebags with holding spells, then putting even amounts of stuff in each.

As soon as Chelsea emerged, looking better in my clothes than I do, we all put on basic winter gear, locked up the apartment for goodness knows how long, hopped in the car, and drove off to the address provided on the box.

Tirek sped across the cold early morning landscape impossibly silently, blasting gaping holes in the dimensional divide with his stolen magic. True to his word, Starry stayed warm and healthy from his suspended position, but it was certainly no heaven.

For every hole ripped open, more equestrian terrain, and by extension, it's inhabitants, situated itself on the planet and steadily increased the resulting chaos. Needless to say, things in humble Michigan went from hunky-dory to a huge sack of crap. Tirek grinned with enjoyment as his one-man-army advanced outside of the state and into the rest of the country.

Starry could not do much but cry silently: Few wouldn't if they were forcefully separated from family, kidnapped quickly afterwards, and then transformed into a helpless tool of mass destruction.

Tirek's magic energy grew to huge proportions as he blew gaping chunks out of the dimensional divide. Transforming the barrier between universes into Swiss cheese had him in a good mood. He chose to talk to his captive audience while he wrecked havoc.

"Do you know what I'm doing, little colt?"

Starry Lanes remained silent.

"I supposed you wouldn't like to talk right now." He continued to blast more holes.

"What do you want?" The voice in Starry's head came out shaky, just like it would of had he been able to talk.

"Do you know what I'm doing?"

"...No?"

"The dimensional divide has served me well in the past, distracting the natural inhabitants from my presence until I could grow in power... Yet I must still remain undetected."

The sounds of pain and terror began to echo across the landscape. It made Starry hate Tirek all the more.

"Equestria has plenty of terrors on it's landscape to keep the humans at bay, and Equestria itself will be distracted by the increasing disappearances of prominent landscapes and important ponies. In the meantime, I can raise an army of my own to smite the humans and ponies who dare oppose my master, and set the sky to the glory it deserves."

"Why do you want eternal night? What will it-"

"Silence. you do not understand because you never look up."

The car trip was slow due to unusually heavy traffic, but soon Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Chelsea and I were standing in front of a pleasant looking little old cottage. It had white siding and black shingles, a well kept garden along it's side, and various lawn decorations by the sidewalk, like lawn flamingos and wind sculptures.

I was more concerned by the clearly audible sounds of a rushing old man bumping around in the dark. I would have been worried that he'd break a hip if it were not for what he was actually saying.

*tromp tromp tromp THUMP* "OOUFF! Pony feathers! Honestly, what in Celestia's name could someone want of an old man at 6:00 AM? *Grumble grumble...*"

*Thunk!* "Ohhh HORSEAPPLES. There goes that picture. The feather-brains at G.E. had better get their flanks going to get the power up! Urrgh!"

Two seconds after, the cheerful face of "The Friend in Deed" popped out of the door.

"You knocked?"

"Uhh, no sir." I said, absorbed by the spectacle which had occurred moments before.

"Hmm! My hearing must be doing funny things again. Either way, You fine upstanding ladies and gentleman must be out here for some reason. May I help you?"

"...You told us to get packed and ready to leave to meet up with you as soon as possible. We're here, and eager for an explanation. Why have the Mane Six appeared on earth?"

He gave a sly smile. "Good answer." Afterwards, he opened the door and motioned us inside.

We were ushered into a small living room. It seemed to have features from everyone's grandparents' house.

"Miss sparkle, could you put up a light? My house has no power, as you can probably see."

Twilight did as told, although with confusion.

"Thank you, Twilight. While I could have done it myself, I now know which one of the six you are."

Pinkie whispered in Twilight's ear. "He's smart!"

"Question, Sir: why didn't you make some light coming out to meet us?"

"It's much more thrilling to bump around in the dark then to see a proper path! Don't you think so, Miss Sparkle?" He said with a raise of his hands.

"Uh... I guess. I'm... Not much of one for thrill."

He waved a hand at her. "Heh. I'm not much of one either. Not most days."

"GET TO THE POINT!" Rainbow Dash interjected at high volume.

"Whoof! You got some lungs in you, doncha?" The old man poked at an ear with his finger. Then he took a more business-like stance, while still looking relaxed.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Fillies: Welcome to the humble home of Starswirl The Bearded. He gazed over our faces.

Nobody's mouth wasn't agape. The air was thick enough to break a butter knife. It was so silent that crickets wouldn't chirp.

Rainbow had enough, and made certain to show the man what she thought.

"I spent two days of worrying and setting up for this? Two whole days of wringing my hooves over the fate of Equestria and everypony there, and of working my butt off just to finally meet up with some crazy person who hasn't even TOLD US what this "LEAD" OF HIS EVEN IS? It's GARBAGE, and your act is foalish! You can't be Starswirl! He's LONG DEAD, and only three ponies can compare to his skill! You're not Celestia, Luna, or Twilight are you?"

"No I'm not, Miss-"

"DIDN'T THINK SO. You're just another person who wants SOMETHING OUT OF US, like those thousands on Louis' stupid laptop. Girls! We need to get outa here. No good comes from hanging around a crazy fan of My Little Pony."

Needless to say, I was indignant. "Rainbow! Give him a chance! You gave me one!"

"Don't get me started with you... You nearly killed me when we first met! Why should I trust you?"

"Don't you go there! You're just claustrophobic!"

Twilight tried to save the worsening situation. "Rainbow! Calm down. We don't have time for this."

"You're right, Twilight. We DON'T. We've been wasting our time with people who think they know us for too long!"

"Rainbow, of course I know you guys! You're just like you are out of the show!"

I received a full force buck in the face for that.

"You don't know anything! You just know the ponies from a show for little fillies! YOU DON'T KNOW TWILIGHT. YOU DON'T KNOW APPLEJACK, PINKIE PIE, RARITY, OR FLUTTERSHY. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

"You're just like a student who copies another's work, but doesn't know that everything's wrong."

She turned to address "Starswirl" too. "Grow up and get a life. Don't talk to me again until you do."

The door slammed hard as Rainbow left. Slowly, the other five ponies reluctantly went through the door as well, leaving Chelsea, the old man and I inside the living room.

I sat awkwardly in the corner where I landed, silently bleeding from the nose, and gave Rainbow's rant quite a bit of thought. Somewhere in that time, Chelsea handed me a bit of kleenex for my nose, and the old man walked over to gaze steadily out the window. The power had probably come back, but none of us were wanting to turn on the lights.

Finally, "Starswirl" poofed in a small light-show of blue magic and wasn't seen again.

In his place sat a brown furred pony with the same long white beard and hair that the old man had. His Cutie Mark was a white-outlined star with a swirling bright blue galaxy inside it's dark blue background. He looked ordinary for a pony, but about a million questions (read: one very huge one) swarmed into my head once I saw him.

He addressed us with the old man's voice, confirming that said old man changed into a pony. I could probably bet nopony inside Equestria knew that trick.

"Well, I must first apologize: I was not sincerely expecting such a violent reaction towards that, foolish as it may have been to presume you all to be so trusting of a stranger's word. Regardless, I figure I must do my part to mend what bridges have been broken between you guys by giving sufficient proof that I am who I say I am."

Chelsea and I stared, completely dumbfounded that his claim held merit.

"Would you care to continue this conversation in the kitchen? I imagine my 'Mr. Coffee' can brew something to pep up your moods." He said with his mischievous smile and accompanying eye-twinkle.

Rainbow Dash pouted like a grouchy puppy. She laid motionless in the middle of the lawn, her head resting between her forelegs, while her hind legs sprawled out to her left.

Her friends sat in the corner of said lawn and discussed what to do with either Rainbow Dash, Louis, the old man, or Chelsea, because no one was certain for sure who was at fault for the heated words exchanged.

"That was really outa line for her, ya know? She can be harsh, but there's no excuse fer blowin' up jes cuz somebody is offa their rocker. I say we drag her back in there and make her apologize. Hogtie her, if we have ta." Applejack chided.

"That would seem a tad bit too aggressive, don't you think?" Rarity disapproved.

Fluttershy nodded. "If it's not too much to say, she might have had good reasons for being so mean. Louis really was guessing too much about us from the start..."

"How so?" Twilight asked. "He seemed to be able to get along with me pretty well."

"He's kind of like you, Twilight... I think."

Pinkie seemed to just be growing more confused. Then again, it's hard to tell if somepony like that is really tracking a conversation or is just off in their own world.

"Really, Fluttershy? He can't be like me at all. We aren't interested in the same things."

Rarity jumped in. "Well, Twilight, dear, if you consider the situation he grew up in, and just how different it is from yours, is it any wonder the specifics are completely different from you? But then take into account how social and studious he happens to be: I imagine you will find he's nearly the same as you in that respect. He enjoys his alone time, and seems to have a firm head upon his shoulders, Just as you do... If you will permit my flattery."

Pinkie proved she was tracking the conversation very well. "Yeah! He's like Cranky-Doodle, except with way less crank!"

"That's all fine and dandy, Pinkie, but what about our mopey blue bomber over there? A pony really shouldn't hit somepony else in the face, even if that pony was mighty offensive. ...I'dve been tempted myself, but that behavior ain't right comin' from anypony." Applejack twirled her stetson in her hooves as she spoke.

Rarity laid a hoof on the country mare's shoulder. "I'm not saying you're wrong, Applejack, but I think this situation has more than just a single pegasus involved. Perhaps we've all contributed to this in our own way?"

"I don't believe it." Applejack crossed her forelegs. Pinkie had other things to say about that, however.

"Well if you don't mind me telling you how I think it's happening, I think Louis is absolutely and totally confused. He hasn't been in any similar situations, and he has no way of knowing how to deal with this, so he clings onto the closest solutions he can. First are those ponies that he saw in that funny color-box, which we know aren't us, or at least not totally us. Then he clung onto the promise of help from the old man/pony/whatever the heck he is because he needs a second mind who is willing to help and knows more about stuff in general. Then he went to his girlfriend (very nice lady) because he's been going out with her for a long time and can trust her with a lot. Then he's just got himself, and he doesn't trust himself and is prone to mistakes.

And while he's thinking and doing all this stuff, We're here being very scared, kinda mean, and generally not trying to help with much at all. I think Twilight's the only pony who's been very involved with helping him help us. I know I've just been eating PopTarts while he worries."

Rarity blinked. "Are you saying that we all should be feeling somewhat guilty for our recent behavior towards Louis?"

"That, and my tummy can't seem to handle PopTarts. We should pack something other than those. Ohai Dashie!"

Rainbow gave Pinkie a brief, awkward hug. "Pinkie, you don't make much sense half the time I listen to you, but this time you took the cake!"

"I took a cake? I promise to make it up to you!"

"I meant to say that everything you've said is right!... at least, for me... I need to go back in there to see what I can do to make things up to him. He is trying his danged hardest to get us back home, after all."

"I knew that!" Pinkie giggled.

After delivering a friendly shove to Pinkie, Rainbow Dash trotted briskly back through the door of the nice little house.

"... Well, I'll be, Pinkie. I swear you know too much about ponies to do anything bad to em!"

"I got lucky. What about you other girls? Are you going back to say sorry? I know I am!" The earth pony made a little frown.

All other ponies nodded. Having solved yet another friendship problem, they got on their hooves and headed back through the door.

"Seriously. How did I NOT see this coming? It's so obvious! I wouldn't have even wrote it into my fan fiction!"

The wizened unicorn took a sip out of an exceptionally good cup of coffee, part of a brew of two others like it.

"Think of it this way, Louis: It was so obvious that it was the last place you'd possibly look, because it would just be a waste of time, right? So, naturally, it was my first choice for disguise. I was just similar, and yet just different enough from the real Starswirl The Bearded to pass by as a hardcore brony which attracts freak occurrences, such as the sudden holding enchantment on your car trunk. Nothing against bronies, mind you. You seem to be quite an admirable one yourself."

"Wow... That's just..."

"Yup."

"...Wow."

"All in a day's work." Starswirl smiled, and took another sip of his coffee.

"How did you do it, and manage to keep your magic? Humans really don't do magic."

"Hideously difficult transformation magic, and a heavily enchanted ring tuned to my inherent magic. It was rather risky, especially if I were to find out that, post-transformation, humans did not have any inherent magic, and I would be trapped in this form. Would you believe it? I had to come up with that human form on my own!"

"Wow... If you'll permit me,"

"Yes?"

"How did you get my enchanted knife working?"

Magic aura disappeared from the unicorn's horn, causing the vessel containing the caffeinated beverage to fall upon the wooden table and break, spilling it's contents on the table, as his face contorted into one of pure surprise, shock, and whatnot.

In layman's terms, he dropped the cup and made a mess out of surprise.

"By Luna's nonexistent beard! I hadn't finished enchanting that thing! Did you activate it?"

"I didn't fully test it, if that's what you're wondering! You know humans can't preform magic!"

Just then, a familiar Cyan pegasus burst through the door, tailed along by her five other friends. Said pegasus pinned me to the table by my shoulders in just a way that I couldn't move.

OH NO SHE'S COME BACK FOR MORE BLOOD-

"LOUIS! I'm sorry for giving you another nose bleed and saying you know nothing! You're a great person! Really! I just didn't know it at the time! I've been so angry and frustrated and sad and just plain rotten! You've gotta forgive me!" She shook me vigorously. It seemed she had switched from administering nose bleeds to whiplash.

I think my eyeballs are doing an exotic dance...

"*Urrgh*... Don't kill me... I forgive you."

"Phew! Glad that's over!" She leapt off of my chest and wiped away some sweat with her forehoof.

"...Alright... Why the sudden change of *HHHH-*" Pinkie jumped onto my chest at the least opportune time.

"Me too! I've just been eating stuff when I should have been helping you! You're my H.B.F.F.! I should act like it!"

" I like that acronym, but we've just-"

A sad looking Fluttershy added her weight to my chest. "And me. I've just been hiding from you in whatever corner I can find, just like a scared bunny rabbit..."

"Well I'm trying my hardest not to be scary, so if you would-"

Then I was hit by an apologetic hurricane. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity broke down into tears (although I was certain that Rarity was "drama queening" at the time), while Applejack hung her head in silence. The sheer strength of the emotion these four were outputting was proving it was genuine, but Twilight obviously thought this was going about things the wrong way.

"Stop suffocating him!" She barked, pulling Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rarity off of me. "We do not need waterworks or drama or excessive shame right now."

Pinkie was scathed. Livid, perhaps. "WHAT? I was just apologizing!"

"No, Pinkie... You were letting an emotional roller coaster drag you into impulsive behavior just like the rest of us. That is the biggest problem here."

Everyone present was silent.

"Loosing some ponies while gaining others is never fun, but when your situation hangs in your hands, you need to calm down and work on fixing it.

Taking responsibility for your own situation, even if you can't fix everything, is much more important than you would think. I know I'm not exactly the best role model for that, but it DOESN'T MAKE it less true.

Apologizing is not a bad thing, but we're on a tight schedule, and have to get home as soon as possible. Finish up, and then start searching for a way to get out of this mess.

We'll come out of this alright. Trust me."

Needless to say, no one in the room was willing to make any conclusions to the affirmative or the contrary, but Twilight definitely seemed to be correct on this issue.

Everyone's recent behavior seems to go with an explanation.

Twilight did not consult her friends enough, because she was needlessly worried about the possibility that they would do something unwise as a result. Because she only talked with me on what she found, her friends could not help with anything except with what they happened to overhear.

Pinkie took things too lightly for the situation, and the fact that she avoided talking about it under any circumstance, like her friends, did not improve her helpfulness.

As a polar opposite, Fluttershy seemed to be thinking far too much about her situation, instilling in her a sort of paranoia she didn't know how to deal with. She was too scared to help or even think about how she could.

Rainbow Dash seems to react with hostility to anything that confuses her, so she distanced herself to avoid setting herself off. This distance prevented her from helping with anything, and only made her more hostile when others tried to do something for her.

Rarity, much like Fluttershy, worried herself sick. She was only able to be of help because she had such a huge passion for her talent: one of the few talents any of the mane six had which could be exercised safely.

While Applejack was willing to help her friends get out of their mess, she wasn't willing to accept any help. She never knew how important it was that her friends knew what was bothering her. If they didn't know, they wouldn't be able to help her, and thus have her help them at the peak of her abilities.

Meanwhile, I had presumed and assumed too much. I supposed that these ponies, whose caricatures I was very familiar with, were the same as those I had seen in the show. I also made the mistake of thinking that since these ponies were not at all familiar with the problem they faced, that I would somehow have to get them all back home with what little I had.

We all had to realize that not only did we need to form an alliance to fix this problem, we needed to take that seriously. I wasn't simply helping charming cartoon characters return back to their happy little world, I was helping six living, breathing, dynamic individuals go home to a real place, to real families, to real siblings and parents, friends, employers, co-workers, mentors, subordinates, and children.

That thought set another one into motion: I'm not doing this because I want to. This is nothing more than something that is simply significant to six real individuals. I'm doing this because I must, and nothing else.

"Bravo, Lois! That's an impressive leap into maturity for anyone." Starswirl commented quite suddenly.

"Oh, Come ON! That was my own personal internal monologue! Why'd you go and spoil my moment?"

"For one thing, I need to reveal myself and give you the important information I promised. Twilight? Do I resemble anyone from anything you've read?"

Twilight gazed deeply over the brown unicorn's form, taking note of his face and Cutie Mark.

"... Yes. Starswirl the Bearded. Spitting image."

"And if I told you I was him?"

"Considering Pinkamena Dianne Pie seems to casually defy all known laws of physics and can even predict the future to some extent, it wouldn't be too hard to presume that you are who you said you are. I'd especially believe it if you were the ol- My gosh. You're the old man!"

"Mmm hmm."

"How did you DO IT?"

"7,200 Thaums to the cerebral identity region and 490,000 to the physical region, 4,920 Thaums removed from the outer-physical region, 1,293 runes consisting of dri, krev, baj and zi, and two hours of thaumic condensation. I also have a ring enchanted to draw out 490,000 Thaums from my human form to reset me and conduct magic as necessary."

"Sweet Celestia... That would take me months to construct! ...So why?"

"A basic need for hiding, Twilight. May I brew you some coffee?"

Twilight declined, but asked for tea instead. Soon, all were present at the table and listening to the old unicorn explain why they had all gathered in the little house.

"A bag of certain ill intent." The unicorn said, swirling the dregs of his coffee in his cup. "Unremarkable in appearance and typical in structure... Yet I've lived at this small cottage long enough to know it was NOT typical. In fact, it gave me kind of a nasty chill whenever I approached it."

"Did anyone else notice it?" I asked.

"It would have been impossible for any human to notice it at all... The thaumic signature was too low. At any rate, I made a habit of preforming small illusion spells on it to keep it from being picked up and being moved somewhere ideal for getting more strength, but it just shook them off every time."

"How's that prove anything? Illusion spells aren't permanent anyway." Twilight said sceptically.

"Well, Twilight, if it were simply an object with an unsettling enchantment on it, it would have stayed in the form I gave it for the exact 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds I had set it to, but it was dis-enchanted every single time I came over there. I should know, because I walked that path twice a day." He scowled, downed the remaining coffee, and continued.

"Eventually, after four months of doing this, the bag itself happened to have disappeared overnight. Bear in mind, now, this thing hadn't been touched in MONTHS, and it looked horrendously grubby and even a little weak and worn. No one could have possibly even wanted to stick it in the TRASH.. But it was now gone. Doesn't this make you a little curious?"

"No." Rainbow dash said flatly.

"Hm. Well, we've heard from the lovely cyan mare, but does anyone else have anything to say to the contrary?"

"It seems kind of scary..." Fluttershy did her best imitation of a timid bunny.

As another silence settled over uncertain faces, Twilight looked like she was pondering something... In fact, it looked as though something was on the tip of her tongue.

She finally gave up and said she didn't know what it was. But since it was our only lead, we chose to head back to the certain spot where it had formerly rested and track it's thaumic signature.

Obviously, this is going to be a slow jog...

I really have nothing to say. No excuses for tardiness, no announcements, nothing.

Source!

CHOLD Chapter 12: What's Big, Red, Blue, and Terrifying?

Chapter 12: What's Big, Red, Blue, and Terrifying?

...I forgot my PopTarts.

When you think about it, it's amazing what stupid thoughts sometimes come into one's head when they're leaving home for goodness knows how long.

Consider this: Not by my own choice am I the center point of a ragtag team of brightly colored equines, one chocolate brown colored wizard equine who was supposed to have been long dead, plus my fantastic girlfriend who I SWEAR to marry some day, and I'm thinking about 200 calorie cheap pastries people cram into a small box for two minutes to COOK?

We had been scouring the neighborhood for "a bag of certain ill intent" for about 30 minutes now. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were in the air, Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack were searching the ground, and Twilight and Star-Swirl were using some kind of detection spell to look for Thaumic residue.

Chelsea and I were catching up on reading the manual. And by "catching up", I mean being confused.

"'Magic sense, like all other senses is detected within the sensory nucleus of the brain, where it is then transported to the thalamus'. Chelsea, You know brain stuff, right? What is the thalamus?"

"I guess it's the part where the brain processes our senses... But it says magic is detected by 'neural fluctuation'."

"So what? We gotta move our brains around in unhealthy ways? I don't wanna get a concussion to see 'magic'. The most I'll see is a giant rabbit or Rosebud at the end of a tunnel."

"It says neural fluctuation is normally preformed with assistance of the unicorn horn, but can be trained to occur by 'thinking of too many things at once'. ...What?"

Star-Swirl yelled across the street. "Are you saying I'm incomprehensible?!"

"YES, I AM." Chelsea yelled back.

"Keep reading! I know what I'm talking about!"

I took the manual from Chelsea and read the sentence below.

"'It can also be trained to occur through the use of an enchanted item or items, which simulate the effect of the unicorn horn on the brain'."

"Okay, good. We've got that covered. Now to figure out how to make your freaky magic knife spit magic like it's supposed to." She snatched the manual from me and flipped to the index.

"It was on page fourty-"

"WAIT! ... Okay, it says to push Thaumic energy out of the cerebrum into the cerebellum, down the spine and into your enchanted object. 'This can be done by picturing a small white pigeon and three normal sized billiard balls'?"

"Keep reading!"

"Oh! 'or by willing the object of your spell to obey the enchanted object, which in turn you will to obey you'."

"Wow! I'll be a green lantern by the time I've mastered 'willing' things to do what I want!"

"I suppose... Now let's put this to practice!"

"WAIT WHAT? I still don't know how to do three quarters of this stuff!"

"Well, okay, Louis. If you want to learn how to turn a badger into a banana, you can always flip to page 100, but the back of the book says this: 'Demonstration, experimentation and Imitation is proven as the best way to learn spell-work, and truly talented spell-workers will be able to do all these things without the fear that comes from having no guidebook'. END OF CRASH COURSE. Now lift that lawn gnome a foot or so, I guess."

"*HFF.* Fine." I hated the lawn gnome at first sight anyway. If it exploded or whatever, I'd be perfectly fine with it.

I pointed the knife at the gnome. Not knowing what the heck I'm doing? Check. Face screwed up weirdly in concentration? Check. Looking like an idiot standing out in the street pointing at a gnome? Check. Everyone present to see me present myself as an idiot? Check.

A bead of sweat trickled down my neck as I threw thoughts at the smiley gnome with a major case of "uncanny valley".

In retrospect, I probably should have asked it politely to lift five feet, but instead, I poured out the equivalent wrath of Fluttershy when she's had a horrible day (RAISE UP FROM THE GROUND, FOUL DEMON, OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO SMITE THEE AND SEND THEE TO WHERE YOU DESERVE!). The result of this was the ascension of this gnome to about a mile high.

Wowza.

I can't possibly have that much power.

While perhaps undeserving of it's fate, no one seemed to mourn as the gnome smashed in the yard in a spectacular fashion, causing bits of it's funny hat, jolly/terrifying face, and charming outfit to make divots in the grass. However, no one could blame the ponies for clumping together upon it's impact. It was very startling and loud.

But enough about the gnome. What about the person who launched it?

"... The home owner's association will skin me alive for ruining this lawn."

Chelsea broke into uncontrollable laughter at what I said. Twilight and Rarity chuckled a little, but nopony else found it particularly funny. Especially not the self-compressed butter yellow pegasus.

"That was horrible... and EXPLOSIVE. I-I don't ever want to see that happen again! What did it ever do to him?"

"Four words, Fluttershy. It was my test subject." Oh wait... That was five. "I may have wanted to break the creepy thing, but I was NOT intending to. I assure you."

"I'm not TALKING about the gnome! look down the road!"

Anyone with half a brain would do as Fluttershy says when she's audible. All heads turned down the road.

A huge unicorn of some sort stood in front of a somehow unnoticed blaze of houses, approximately a mile away, but he was closing the gap much faster than he should have for his size. Fire blazed from his horn, enveloping houses in fireballs as his hooves dug into the asphalt. Huge abominations and familiar monsters reared their ugly heads from behind the blaze as the giant continued thumping along at high speed and volume...

His neck had a brown bag of seemingly no significance tied around it.

"EVERYPONY RUN!!!" StarSwirl shouted as loudly as his lungs would allow, then turned tail and split. The sheer terror of the situation renewed that freakish calmness that I've had since I first saw Twilight. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed Chelsea's wrist, hoisted Fluttershy on my shoulder and ran faster than I ever ran. Even faster than for my sadistic gym teacher's acceptance.

My feet pounded the pavement and became sore quick, but the frustrated screams and the sound of fireballs and monsters behind me made me forget that quickly. Fluttershy clung to my neck for dear life while Chelsea whimpered, yelled, and shrieked some well justified profanities as she struggled to keep up with me. We found ourselves competing with police and emergency vehicles as they flew down the road towards the havoc. Not to mention the swarm of cars that were flooding out of the place as well.

Then the ground left my feet as two yellow hooves wrapped around my waist. Fluttershy was obviously acting in a rare moment of adrenaline induced strength in order to be carrying me.

"How are you doing that?"

"Pleasedon'taskanyquestionsrightnow! This is *oof* VERY HARD, and I don't want to get distracted!"

"Okay..."

A glance to my left revealed that Chelsea was being lifted in the same manner as I by Rainbow Dash. She waved to me un-easilly, when the huge unicorn, who was way too close behind us for my comfort, yelled at full volume.

"STARSWIRL! I WILL KILL YOU FOR THOSE HEXES! I'LL TAKE HUGE PLEASURE IN DESTROYING THAT HORRIBLE BEARD OF YOURS!"

"Whelp, I guess I know you're the cause now! MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO A TRASH BAG IF YOU GAVE OFF NICER VIBES!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU NICE VIBES, BEARDO!"

I addressed my living aircraft desperately. "Fluttershy! He's going to blow! Pull up! Pull up!"

Blow he did. Ice, fire, and electricity shot in a wide explosion from his horn as Fluttershy exerted herself to lift me higher. Chelsea shrieked loudly as Rainbow Dash in turn shot strait up, obviously inconsiderate of those who were not used to air travel... Such as my girlfriend.

Who am I kidding? She's in safe hands- er- hooves.

"BEARDO? IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? MY OWN MOTHER CALLED ME THAT AFFECTIONATELY!"

Suddenly, the unicorn revealed himself to be very stinking scary. By that, I mean he conjured up a huge glass bowl and trapped us all inside. MLP villains have always left someone on the outside! What's wrong with this guy?

"No it isn't, Mr. Starswirl. It was a ruse to set you at ease."

"Hmmph. I never get to have a good insult fight with anypony!"

"There will be plenty of time for that once I've established supreme rule... You disgusting crotchety old coot."

"Tron-Face."

"...What?"

"You heard me! You resemble an old CGI movie!"

"What??"

As they went back and forth between wizard explaining the finer points of a technologically famous movie to enigmatic monster unicorn who was growing further and further confused, I looked around to grasp my situation. Apparently, I had been superglued to the dome's side.

"Uh... Fluttershy? Can I get down?"

"I don't know. Can you pry me off?" She asked me politely. The pegasus had inexplicably managed to grip the glass with all four hooves, pinning me between it and her.

"Yeeeaaah, no. I don't think I can. You seem absolutely terrified."

"*Gulp* *Squeak!* Y-y-yes-s..."

I thought I'd be stuck behind cutest pony for about a year, until an idea popped into my head.

"Fluttershy? You should go up to that unicorn and give him a piece of your mind."

"T-t-the B-BIG ONE?"

"Yeah! Don't you think he's such a big meanie? He burnt down twenty plus houses on his way here!"

Her eyes narrowed. "He did..."

"He chased your friends down a road for who knows how long!"

"He DID!"

"And now he's insulting a nice old pony just for the fun of it!"

"THAT PONY'S BEARD IS NICE, YOU ROTTEN RED MONSTER!!" She hit the giant so hard that I think I saw him flip head over hooves three times in a row. After he stopped, she stood on his barrel and started yelling in his face.

If you're concerned for me, though, she made sure to put me down gently before she assaulted him.

"I DON'T CARE WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO BURNING DOWN HOUSES! SOMEPONY HAS PUT A TON OF SWEAT INTO THOSE, AND YOU ARE COMMITTING ARSON!"

"I will do what I want, little pony."

"I'M NOT DONE! NOBODY MESSES WITH MY FRIENDS LIKE YOU DID! THE DRAGON SHOULDN'T HAVE, AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!"

"I do not care what you tell me. One wave of my horn could send you into orbit around the earth."

"AND THAT WAS THE WORST INSULT YOU COULD POSSIBLY MAKE TO A MAGICIAN! A WIZARD'S BEARD IS HIS HONOR, YOU NASTY DRAGON OF A PONY!"

"Don't diss the soup strainer, either, Tron-face!" very soft spot on some wizards." Starswirl added.

"S̢̬͙͔͍̯͙̗͒̉̑̈́ḩ͔͇̟ͧ̊̇ͣ̌ͭͯ͡u̱̘̰͍̤̔̀̏ͧ̒̕t̸̢̙̠̖͇̉ͭ̃͆̀ ̦͇̲̼̳̜̐͌ͅų͈͙ͦṕ̓̓̊͂ͩ͏̴̖̳̦͍̮̪͍̙,̶͇̖͔̺̗̘͖̦ͬͯ͊̐̅ͥ͒ ̬͉̮͎̘ͤ̋ͫ͝ỹ̡̙̬̳͔̖̗ͪ͐ȯ͍̤̦̒̈̉̊ͬͮ͂̅̕ũ̢͕̽̒̕͢ ̓̈̽̾̾͏̺̮͎l̢͚̬̮ͬ̋͆ͭ͐̉͗́ī̵̹̱̮̭̪̥ͭ͘ṯ̢̣̟̹̝̆͗͑ͪ̓̈̽̀͠ͅţ̮͇̠̊̂̎ͬ̅͜l͔̯͚̟̆͆ͣ̌̿̓̌͒́̚͘͟ẽ̡̠͖̩̜̰̜̩̤͊̃͒ͫͬ̏͟ ̤͓̣̰̲̺̝ͧ̊̐͡w̶̬̘͎͉̮̦ͬͣ̍̋͊o͖͕̞̩̾ͭ͆́͞r͈̻̣͍ͭ̍ͭ͐̕͘m͐̿͐ͯ͌ͧ̈́̿ͣ͏͖̮͎̙̣̮͜ͅͅ! ̞̺̪͆ͥ̐͘Ī̝͉͔̱̫̘̒̾́͑̿̈͢͢'̡̦̫̩̥͇͍̖̎̋̎̄̽̏̽͋͗m̖̫̗̖̺͍ͨ̔̓ͪ̏ ̧̧͓̳̩̳̩̱͇̥͊͗́̚s̗̠̬̦̩̤̬̈̉ͩ͑̈͐͡͠ͅi̔̓̓̄͗̂͒͏͏̷̱̭̗̯ç̸̟͙̈́͆̊̎̆̏͗ͨ͢k̲͓͇̈́͋̈́̇̈̅͜ ̶̡̟̪̲̠͕̩̝͍͉̇̃̆͒ͦ̋o̢̱̘͓̠̭̤̖ͩ̽̀̄̽ͬ̚͘f͔͎ͧ̉̏̑͘͝ ̢̫̮̻̪͗̓́y̢̪̠͍̙ͦo̸͓̫̐́ͫ̋̔̏͟u̧̼̪̗͇͚̬̜̱ͦ̑͜ŗ̗̪̝̲̟͉̓ͭ̔ͫ̿͡ͅ ̘̦̪̮͍̩͙̒ͭ͆̎ͫ̔̍͐ș̠̦͙̌́ͦq̛̩̺̜̞̱̱̏̈u͍̯̓̔̒̏́͊ͤ̕͜ę̹͇̝̺̖͍̲͑ͭͬ̏̓̋ͪa̵̡̰ͥͮk̖̟̙̙̹̱̽ͤ̉̈́́́ͅȳ̇̿̓҉̻͙̗̗ ̎̓͏͔͚̘̱͈v̵̧̪͚̗̖̰̳̐͂̈͊͊͜o̧̭͇̎̔ͣ̃ͨ̊î̱͖̯̥̻̬ͪ̋̐̐ͩ̃ͅc͉̪̍ͩ̉ͥͪͤė̱̣͓͉̓́̄͞ ̶̼̫̯̹̠̳͐͐̾a̰͓͚̩̬͓ͦ̊̍̒̑̅̏n̮̺͗̐͊͊͜d̵͚̯̔ͣ̀̕ ͍͚̞̮̜̞̜̬̏ͤ͐́̉̀ͪ̽̕i̷͚̣͍̦̬͑ͣ͒͌̉ͦ̐͘n̴͔̩̩͈̺̭͛̾͊ͬͯ͆ç͚̲̟̥̤̣̝̱̀̎̿̆̔̂̋ͪͥ͢e̴̺̞ͩͮ̑̈́̑̀̍ͨ̌ṣ͓ͤ̿s̨̩̝̳̝̮̰͕̮͓̊͐͜a͙͆͆̅̀̉̽̃̄ͬ͘͡n̘̦̱͂͂̊̽ͮ͆̈́ͅt̶̷̻̣̻̲̝̺̽ͧ̏͂̄̒ͮ̚͡ ̡̨̻̠͎̻̘̯̲ͤ̓̑ͅẘ̹̿̕h̡̛̫̆̐ͯ͘i̛ͭͣ̓̿̑͏̤͚n̪̞̲̲̗͓̐̀͂̀̐ͨ̓̇́ͅi̧͚̼͉̠̼̳͖͇̒̓̓ͧͪ̾̓͐͘ń̸̩̻̘̗͉̈́͛̉ͤ̐͐g̫̜͖̩̟ͭ̑̑͊͒ͭ͝ͅ!"

The strange Eldritch quality to his voice made all in the dome jump a few feet back. It was a big enough window for the unicorn to get up and say something threatening.

"You are all trapped, and I am going to be sure to kill. Each. And every one of you. Very. Very. Slowly."

Rainbow Dash one-upped him promptly and easily.

"Sorry, dude, but I'm not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with me!"

While the giant pony had been distracted several times through insults, one-ups, and full force impacts, I had snuck over to Twilight inconspicuously (okay, maybe a little conspicuously. Tiptoes really shouldn't ever work). In unspoken communication, I held out my knife and she activated it. Before big, red, and nasty looking knew what was going on, I had weaponized my overpowered levitation and used him to shatter the dome in it's entirety. Needless to say, we all made our escape as soon as possible.

The fiend left an earthquake and some very reassuring words for us as we ran off.

"I'M DIFFERENT FROM NIGHTMARE MOON, DISCORD, CHRYSALIS, AND SOMBRA! I'M DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE YOU'VE MET! NO PLACE YOU CAN POSSIBLY GO IS SAFE! MY MONSTERS FROM ALL REGIONS WILL FIND YOU! I WILL HAVE MY WAY! NOBODY DENIES TIREK!"

Thankfully, we were far away from Sandy Shores when I finally lost my breath from running. Having left the once-peaceful and admittedly obscure town, I noticed that all traces of civilization seemed to stop at it's edge. A large forest, rolling hills, huge mountains, and a great river were just the things that were near by.

Okay, "All traces of civilization" is not enough. How about "All traces of recently inhabited civilization"?

Yeah. I'm not kidding. The highway leading out of Sandy Shores was covered in various forms of plant life and was cracked and worn. Similarly, the billboards had been overgrown and worn. Heck, if it was man-made, it was overgrown and worn. Bank on it.

More so were the roads. They were, for all intents and purposes, piles of uneven, sharp and crazy chunks of asphalt in a line resembling a road.

"Oh man... It's just like my college when it was overrun by the Everfree!"

"Really? The way you described it was-"

And now I was scolded.

Profusely.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE CAR?"

"Dhh- Blug- Guh-" I spluttered stupidly.

"That thing couldn't have been running more than 40 miles per hour!" I know that's wrong. The thing cleared a mile in less than a minute! "We could have easily gotten away if we could have gone 70! And don't you dare tell me you forgot!"

"But we did get away, and-"

"Where we're going, there will be no usable roads." Starswirl added.

"Yes! That!"

Chelsea would not be defeated by "that". "We could have at least used it inside the neighborhood!"

A familiar blue pegasus got in Chelsea's face."Okay, girl, just shut up for a moment. It's a box, with wheels. It's not like Equestria's- er- the world's going to blow up because we didn't have it." Ah, Rainbow Dash. Blunt as usual.

"IT COULD HAVE!"

"But it didn't, Okay? Over and done. Chill out."

"But we could have-"

Starswirl turned from his stare at the diverse landscape. "It would not have mattered anyway. Even if we could have out-paced him, it would have been impossible to outpace his magic: You saw how fast he conjured the dome. Come: Any distance we can make between us and him will be beneficial."

The old chocolate brown pony trotted into the hilly area and turned, waiting for us.

"I'm fine with walking in pretty fields... Even in the cold late-Autumn. The air feels so fresh and crisp." Fluttershy trotted forward optimistically, tagged along by Rarity, who seemed to be in agreement with her opinion.

Rainbow Dash took to the skies as a lookout, while Applejack stayed by the back end with Pinkie. Twilight and I caught up with Starswirl.

"What do you mean by that, Starswirl? He's just an egomaniac like the rest of them! You heard him say he was better than those other bad guys we faced!"

"Twilight, he never said he was better. He said he was different, and I don't think he was wrong either. We know virtually nothing about what he is, and we know absolutely nothing about why he's doing what he's doing. All we know is that he's Tirek, and he's formidable. Perhaps very."

"So was Discord, and we managed against him."

"Discord is of a different nature than this foe: He's more on the side of 'the world is my playground' than of the 'I deserve something that I do not have' that this guy is. Furthermore, only one other villain has had the same mindset as this new guy."

"...Nightmare Moon..."

"Bingo."

"But how does that make him different from her?"

"It doesn't. It's his method of execution. Nightmare Moon acted immediately upon revealing herself and her plan. With Tirek, I can suspect that he's still trying to increase his power. You notice he let us go after we proved to be too difficult to take down."

"What about that taunting? That's never proved to be too effective in the past." I jumped into the conversation.

Starswirl motioned for everyone to stop as he turned around to face them. "Okay, a raise of hooves and or hands: How many of you were scared of the red unicorn's taunts?"

Everyone's forelimb shot up, including mine. Weird.

The old wizard turned back to me. "I would suppose it's effective now, Louis. We're not dealing with a typical villain."

I looked away in admitted defeat, only to find the formerly perky Fluttershy considerably un-perked. Apparently, she heard everything we were talking about.

"Should we talk about something else, Fluttershy?"

"No. I think I'll just sit here for about a month, if that's alright with you."

Rarity, Applejack and Twilight quickly found out that she was quite stubborn on this position. None of what they could do to move her actually did anything. It was kind of odd how easy it was for me to just pick her up and carry her.

I asked her about it.

"Why wouldn't you move for them, but you let me pick you up?"

"You're... Nicer about it?" She explained simply, throwing in a little embarrassed grin.

"In retrospect, I'd say I wasn't. I didn't even try to coax you."

"You don't have to. I just like it better when someone is understanding and patient."

Hmm... It appears I've broken a barrier between us at some point.

"Oh come on, Flutters! Why don't you ever listen to me? Aunt Pinkie understands you perfectly!"

"...No you don't..."

"Whadaya mean, I don't? You're an INFP on the Myers - Briggs test, you like animals of all sorts, you don't like large crowds or scary things, and your favorite color is Misty Rose!"

Applejack gave Pinkie a friendly jab. "She's older than you, Pinks."

"Oh! I didn't know that! Ever since I met her, I always thought she was younger! I mean, she looks so young that I could have sworn that she had colts lining up at her door every day!"

"Stop, Pinkie! You're making me blush!"

"Ooo! That face there will get you a colt for su-*mmph!*" I had hung back until the pink motormouth was in range before silencing her abruptly. I gazed into Pinkie's eyes with mock anger.

"You'd better watch what you say about Fluttershy, Pinkie, or I'll have to break out the ear scratch again!"

We started walking again, with Pinkie giggling for about 3 minutes strait. Fluttershy fell into a fitful sleep many hours later when I noticed it was night time. The slow walking pace our group had maintained the whole way gave me plenty of time to survey the highly unusual landscape. We had walked under an overgrown overpass, passed many lonely traffic lights and overgrown street signs, a seemingly out of place gas station, and had arrived at another small neighborhood that was suddenly inside a pine forest. My first thoughts were on the extreme hunger I had somehow not noticed the whole way, despite two meal stops.

Weirder yet, the particular neighborhood we were in was completely deserted, unlike Sandy Shores during our early morning trek. I suspected the local wildlife had been zapped in along with the trees, and there's no telling what things could be in the woods, even if it wasn't the Everfree. MSU had to have been on the news, and when the pines had sprung up, I'm certain people started ditching their houses because of what they saw on it.

"I must say, Louis: Your gut is making something awful of an earthquake! Get some food down, young man!" Starswirl asked why I hadn't paid attention to the other meal invitations earlier.

Hey, when you're a geek, food deprivation comes more naturally than you'd think. Doesn't mean I didn't stuff my face on some of the food we had packed.

We proceeded to pitch our tent in someone's former back-yard, as not a one of us wished to break down the house door just to save some time. Said back yard now comes with a fantastic pine tree I'm envious of. Shame it happened to be inside the sand box. Everyone settled in for the night except Rainbow Dash, who volunteered to keep a lookout, and I, who offered to join her.

One night of sleep deprivation was worth it for the chance to talk to her alone. I still had some things to clear up with her.

The cool wind whipped at Rainbow's mane and bit at my ears as the last remaining insects chirped and geese flew overhead. I was glad that, although unfamiliar, this night would be uneventful. While we both kept an eye out between the trees, Rainbow Dash's mind was clearly elsewhere from the distant look in her magenta eyes. She took a glance at me and scuffed her hoof in the worn out lawn, obviously uncertain if she should speak.

I waited, letting her take a deep breath and sigh before talking to me. She spoke in a hushed voice, appropriate for the time of night.

"Sorry about the nosebleeds."

"It's alright. Helped you, didn't they?" I responded quietly.

"I... Guess."

She slowly ran a hoof through her mane, looking away from me again and fluttering as she did so. It was kinda cute.

"Those don't hurt humans much, do they?"

"It depends on the person. You didn't hurt me, no."

"Okay."

Another gust of wind and an owl hoot punctuated our pause. I wrung my hands searching for a way to get her to tell me what was on her mind.

"...You seem a little distracted, Rainbow."

"Pfft. Only since two days ago... I didn't wanna bother anypony. They've... all got their own problems."

"I think everyone in our group has some sort of problem. Missing family... Friends... Pets... Ever looming uncertainty... I think we're all worried sick for someone who is worried sick for us. My parents both know that the health care they're paying for me isn't going to guarantee my safety. They probably have no clue if I got out of Sandy Shores safely... And all this is only true if they're safe where they live."

"I... I'm sorry."

"Well, thankfully, I'm over it for the most part... But you still seem kinda mopey. I really would like it if I knew what was going on with you so I could at least help you get over it."

"Well... You know that huge rant I got into with you and Starswirl?"

"Of which I thank you for your apology? Yes."

"It... uh... I don't know where I was going with that."

"Heh. That's fine... Take as much time as you need."

"Uh... What I want to say is, there's one thing that's been bugging me the most- but bugging is the wrong word for it! I meant 'bothering'."

"Well, don't make me guess about it, even if it's unlikely to be wrong." I encouraged her.

"It's about... Scootaloo."

"Scoots? I did know about that... Probably not enough, but some."

"I don't hang out with her much, but I can't stop thinking about how she's doing without me."

"How often do you meet?"

"She swings by everyday after school for flight tutoring."

"Sounds frequent to me."

"I... Guess it is..."

"I'm sorry for getting pushy, but the thing that confuses me the most is why you let her have that dream of having Rainbow Dash for a big sister... Are you crying?"

"Well, DUH, Louis! It's because 'Rainbow Dash' wanted the dream of having her for a little sister! Does it have to be anything else?"

"No! Just clarifying!"

"And now that I don't have a clue where she is, I just wanna take off and look for her... But you guys need me too! I feel stuck..." Rainbow sat on her haunches looking forlorn. A single tear fell from each eye of the usually brash pegasus, exposing her soft side in a really strong way.

Stop crying! You're melting my heart, you silly tomboy!

"Rainbow... If we all left to do our own thing, how would anything be solved?"

"I know, I know... Friends stick together. Teamwork and all... But... Do you think you could help me look for her?"

"'Think'? I know I could. Trust me, Rainbow: Your friends and I would be more than willing to help you."

Just as I said that, Rainbow Dash jumped up and embraced me very awkwardly, yet sincerely. She wasn't choked up, but it was obvious she was much happier.

"Consider yourself added to my friends group, Louis." She threw in a nuzzle as I hugged her back, then floated back down to the ground and laid down.

I sat down next to her and overlooked the short backyard fence. Another gust of wind blew and chilled me slightly.

Rainbow Dash yawned deeply, but the atmosphere of the former back yard struck a thought in me.

"Know any good ghost stories? I don't have any coffee to keep me awake, so adrenaline will have to do."

"Remember this morning? I think that could help you."

"Oh come on... Just because Creepers in Minecraft make me yell, doesn't mean that will-"

I thought of it. That was scary.

"Told ya. You've got a bit of a... a... *yaaaaaaaaaaawn* cold sweat going now."

"It's only 12:00 AM. You gotta try harder, Rainbow."

Rainbow's response to this was to roll on her back and plop her head in my lap. Her fur and feathers fluffed out as her eyelids drooped. She would have been shocked by how adorable she looked then.

"Nah... I give up... Wake me in the morning, will ya... ?"

"Well... I don't suppose we need two people on watch, do we?"

"Mmmmm... You feel like a cloud... Did ya know... ?" She punctuated her response by rolling to her left side and nestling into my lap. The sounds of unexpectedly soft rhythmic breathing soon floated to my ears.

Hmm. Finally asleep. I guess I'll be the midnight sentinel once again.

Source!

Ahh, another chapter complete! I hope I struck a few heartstrings (so named unicorn excluded. Blunt trauma would make her cry) and caused a little sniggering with this one! Sorry for the slow going. I suppose I'm taking greater care in my fan fiction than I was before.

CHOLD Chapter 13: Things are STARTING to go WRONG!

Chapter 13: Things are STARTING to go WRONG!

I woke with a cyan hoof poking my face.

It was at first a mere inkling of a sensation deeply enshrouded in my heavily exhausted dreams, but once it had brought me back to reality, it was brutal. Three things were just WRONG.

I'm not in my bed at home. Indeed, having only been away from home for one day, I could not possibly have gotten used to the possibility that the place where I lay down at nights could change. Brutal reality revealed that I had fallen asleep in some random stranger's back yard, rather than my familiar bedspread. Why I kept forgetting things had changed was completely beyond me.

Extreme shock coursed briefly through me until I realized what had happened, then bam! The next thing hit me.

I fell asleep during watch. With the possibility that 8 other individuals could be depending on my early danger warning for survival, I did not feel like a good person for failing them. Guilt hit me like a brick for a moment, until something nastier struck my head.

I'm holding Rainbow Dash. Cuddling, rather. I had fallen asleep in a sitting position with Rainbow curled up tightly on my chest. It was almost the exact same way as I had done when I met Twilight.

The one major difference was that she would probably break my face beyond repair.

"Why are you sleeping? We're supposed to be on watch!"

I blinked rapidly at the deep magenta eyes of the pegasus who had somehow become my teddy bear. However angry she was, it probably didn't show because she had just woken up. Despite this proclamation and rebuke, she did not seem to wish to take responsibility for her act of falling asleep either.

"Okay, sorry, but why haven't you punched me yet?"

"And make you drop me? Heck no! It's freakin' cold out here! ...Why would I punch you?"

"Because I'm holding you, and from what little I saw, even the slightest bit of affection towards you provokes your aggression."

She nervously chuckled. "I'm still sorry for that first nosebleed, Louis... It's not like I'd hate someone for 'displaying affection'. Oh, and I think I made you hold me."

"Really? The speedster pegasus with a strict 'no-touch' policy cuddled for warmth?"

"It's... Happened before. You should of seen Fluttershy on our first sleepover!"

"How embarrassed was she?"

"Not at all. Just laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe! 'I n-n-never thought you l-l-liked hugs, Rainbow!'" She imitated Fluttershy perfectly, "Just watching her made me laugh."

"I wish I had seen it. What set her off?"

"I don't really get what did... I think it was cuz I said, 'Um... Hi there?"."

I barely managed to silence my laughter. I never though she was such a good story teller, but these ponies are surprising me more and more... And that's funny, because I saw "Sleepless in Ponyville". A bad storyteller couldn't have scared ponies.

"Yeah! I thought it was funny too!" Before I could ask why Pinkie was up, my vision was obstructed by something warm, poofy, and a bit heavy.

She trotted merrily towards Rainbow and I, then looked confused.

"Where'd they run off to? Shirking their duties, obviously... I should have made them Pinkie promise!"

Rainbow squirmed out of my arms and poked her head out of what I determined to be two sleeping bags. "Are you kidding, Pinkie? We're right here."

"Not kidding at all, Rainbow! I can't seem to find the two of you anywhere!" She replied mischievously, grinning from ear to ear. Feeling obligated to respond to her for being such a dork this late in the night, I threw her in one of the offending articles of camping gear.

"Ooo! Toasty! Nice pitch, Louis! Keep that up, and you'll make the league someday!"

I rose a finger in questioning. "What's the league, Pinkie?"

"It's rather ambiguous. Hold still, guys!" Before I could say "Pinkie sense", Rainbow Dash and I were each wrapped up comfortably in our own sleeping bag. The pink earth pony nonchalantly trotted between us and laid down.

"...You probably can't explain specifically, but how'd you do that?"

What? You would have asked too. Don't deny it.

She just winked at me anyway.

"Right. 2nd question. How are you still awake?"

"Sugar and adrentamince."

"...How can you say 'shirking', but not adrenaline..."

Rainbow Dash simply rolled her eyes and burrowed into her sleeping bag.

"*Giggle!* Aww, Rainbow is asleep again!"

"Or you can dodge the question..."

I decided to resume my watch duties, thankful that only 15 minutes had passed since I had fallen asleep, only to be struck motionless by the spectacular display of the night sky. There was no doubt that I saw at least 10 stars of each color in the rainbow. They formed spirals and wisps, nebulae, and I swore I could have seen some novas in there too. It wasn't the calm, purple haze in the show... Far from it, but Equestrian sky none the less. If this was a side effect of the chaos Tirek had been spreading by... Doing whatever he was doing, I was willing to keep it.

"I'm so glad to see it again, Louis." Pinkie's courteously hushed proclamation did not surprise me.

"I can see why..."

"You know... That rock farm wasn't all bad. Sure, we worked hard, and I mean, very, but it's not like it didn't have it's moments."

As she gazed into the sky, the laughter lines in her face took on a thoughtful form. This seemed like one of those rare moments for her, so I listened.

"The geodes we dug up, Mom's cooking, and the night sky. I lived for those... The sky the most. ...Can you imagine growing up with this? A pretty, safe looking, cheerful sky full of rainbows..."

"...It would probably feel normal."

"It doesn't right now, does it?"

"...No. I could probably stare at this all night. They literally twinkle!"

"Good. Just remember; You can keep looking out, and you can still look down, to the side, behind you, whatever... But don't ever forget to look up. It'll tell you how important you are... Even if you're small."

Pinkie Pie got up, threw me a little smile as she ruffled my hair, then re-entered the tent.

...Remember how significant I am, despite my size? I'll try to keep that in mind...

I twiddled my knife as I stargazed, wondering if Luna had anything to do with this nighttime tapestry, and if I could keep Pinkie's words to heart.

RRRRRRRRRR...

Morning light teased my eyes open as I realized I fell asleep again. Clearly I was not a reliable guard. ...Perhaps Chelsea could do it instead next time? Nah. That wouldn't work.

I pried myself from the impossibly comfortable bedspread, got up, stretched, and glared into the sunrise... Mostly because it was glaring at me too. After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I faced the tent and woke everyone.

"OKAY, EVERYPONY PLUS ONE GORGEOUS HUMAN! IT'S TIME TO GET UP AND PACK! WE NEED TO MOVE, MOVE, MOVE IF OUR SITUATION IS TO IMPROVE!"

"Ooh! He rhymed!"

"...Time to buck the apples... Wait. Nah. No apples to buck. Heh."

Fluttershy yawned high-pitched and quiet. "Morning everyone. I hope my snoring didn't keep you awake..."

"What snoring, dear? In utmost respect, I do not think you're the type of lady to ever snore. ...I just need to apply my makeup, Louis, then I'll be set!"

"I didn't pack the makeup, Rarity. Just run a brush through your mane a few times."

"YOU DIDN'T? I THOUGHT YOU HAD A CHECK LIST! ...I suppose I'll have to settle for something like your natural good looks then, Twilight."

"From scorn to flattery that quickly? Rarity, you amaze me. ...Chelsea! Your boyfriend just called you gorgeous! Why don't you say hi?"

I could almost hear Chelsea's blush. ...Then Starswirl The Bearded got up.

"EVERYBODY UP! YOU HEARD THE YOUNG MAN! NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE IF YOU JUST SIT AROUND LIKE A BUNCHA STUBBORN MULES! No offense to mules that may or may not be present."

The tent emptied and my ears rang. Did the old man- uh- pony somehow use the royal canterlot voice?

While everyone in the tent sat back to regain their hearing, Applejack and I set to taking the tent apart. She did most of the work, but I feigned confidence when I could... I can never get those stupid things taken apart. Not sure why, since you'd think assembly would be easier...

Of course, while we were in the process, Applejack revealed that she had noticed what went on during my less than productive watch.

"I saw you talkin' to some of the girls last night."

"Yeah?"

"Don't look like much of a very good watch, hmm?"

"I'm aware."

"Yup. You seemed kinda distracted. Did Rainbow catch your fancy or somethin'?"

Clatter! Tent poles fell out of my hand.

"You know that wasn't what happened."

"I was half asleep, an unless you spill, your girlfriend is gonna be mighty upset, doncha think?" She retorted with a chuckle.

"'So what happened out there, Louis? I'm curious!' Why couldn't you say something like that?"

"C'mon... Tell me what happened! She's my friend too, ya know!"

"She asked me to help look for Scootaloo."

"I knew about that! Silly filly wouldn't shut up about their little newly formed sisterhood!" A well placed glare from Rainbow Dash at the words "silly filly" caused the country mare to cringe a little.

"Oh! The other thing. She got cold."

"Would I really believe that?"

"You tell me, Applejack."

"Okay! Tent's all packed! Don't matter no more! Let's git goin' again. ...Nice job Louis. For a city mouse, you don't pack a tent too bad."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Everyone stopped their hustle and bustle, and those who had big ears perked them up. Such a noise could not have been missed, and it didn't sound like anything that either regular person, pony, or even a brony would recognize. Simply put, that sound kinda spelled doom, despite it's only letters being one G and a bunch of R's.

Starswirl seemed to recognize it... And that disturbed me. Various horrible thoughts flew through my head as to what nasty thing could possibly possess such a roar.

"...Basilisk!" He swallowed harshly. "...Everyone, you will not be able to run away from this threat."

Twilight shuddered in fear. "You're kidding Starswirl! Basilisks have been made extinct!"

"Twilight, Tirek can theoretically break holes in dimensions. Reviving an extinct species is CAKEWALK to that. Do you understand what we might be up against?"

"Ohh, If only I had my first century bestiaries with me!" Best pony began to moan.

"Alright, all of you who can fight, listen: I don't know much about basilisks, but what I do know is that their stare causes INSTANT petrification."

Fluttershy became petrified... In the figurative sense.

"The eyeronic thing is that this stare is also their weakness. It will open it's eyes wide before using the magic. Strike them and bring it down."

"Oh! Eyeronic! I get it!" Pinkie piped in.

"Lemme at 'im! I'll teach it not to mess with us!" Rainbow Dash showed bravado as usual.

Everyone who could fight seemed eager to protect us from the monster, but I happened to hit a new wave of terror. Remember when I threw that gnome a mile high? Can't do that anymore! The knife itself seemed to get weaker since then! I even checked!

"I-I-I don't know how to fight like you." The words inched their way out of my lips as I got nauseous from the impeding battle. I could now see it's silhouette in the clouds as it sniffed the air hungrily.

This is it. End of the line. I'm going to be turned into stone or something, and the ponies will never make it! Darn it! If only I had that crazy calm I always had with me up till now!

"Louis. I made that knife for you. It'll work." The chocolate brown unicorn looked me in the eye from two feet away.

"Louis. Look at me. Pinkie told me that calmness at crunch time was not your strong point. Is that right?"

"I'm beginning to t-think so..."

"Well if you're not scared, you're not human! Do something for me, Louis. Get up and picture a sword."

"Wuh?"

"Hard as you can! Do it!"

So I did. I imagined a perfect long white blade that glowed with power. I imagined the heavy weight of the sturdy metal, and the effort it took to swing it. I imagined it's resistance to the wind as I swung it, and the satisfaction I would have to use it against those who would hurt those I cared about.

Then a thought struck me. "Kinda like a sonic screwdriver" was the thought. Pushing magic into my knife, I requested the same pure weapon I had pictured.

In response, a column of green stuck out from the blade. It glowed just as bright as I pictured it, but it was light and seemed far more eager to fight for those I cared about than the hunk of metal I depicted.

"Good, Louis! Now hit something!"

Sweat poured down my brow from effort and exhilaration as I gazed at the knife... Then I swung at the picket fence of the backyard.

A resounding gunshot noise cracked as the green column tore through it. The knife buckled but did not even leave my grip.

"That's the key! You got it to work because you're a natural!"

"This is crazy. I'm not this strong. I haven't even seen a single pony in the show do this! Why can I?"

"Because a unicorn has entrusted their strength to you. Twilight Sparkle halved her power to double yours, and she knew so."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! A gigantic rooster/hawk/dragon creature fixed it's eyes on the campsite, daring anyone to look into it's piercing slitted yellow eyes. A foul stench of death came from it's fanged beak as it stood easily at 16 feet tall on all fours. It swung it's tail viciously and knocked over some trees trying to decide which small creature it should kill first.

She trusts me that much? We just met! Do I really mean that much to her as a friend already?

It was so unexpectedly touching that a true courage rushed through me right as I found out. Not fearlessness. Just the strong force that makes one go on, despite a seeming certainty that they're going to die.

Nopony had even started exchanging blows with the behemoth yet, but I initiated the fight with a hard hit to the lower foreleg. From there, Rainbow bolted up and hit it's jaw with brute force. The beast was hardly shaken by just these two hits, but it swung it's birdlike claws at the nuisances, clipping Rainbow's feathers and knocking me for a loop.

Applejack seized the opportunity and bucked the cut on it's foreleg. For her trouble, she received it's stare, becoming stiff and white as a ghost. I got up from my mostly dizzy state and hit the cut again.

The basilisk was currently focused on an annoying lavender pony who would not stop shooting it in the face. As much as it swatted, Twilight always had another teleport spell ready to get out of the way and keep shooting. It eventually landed a crushing blow to the patio of the abandoned house, dragging it's claw through the debris and scattering it on it's assailants.

With another frustrated roar, the monster turned on Rainbow Dash, who had been hitting it repeatedly and precisely in the left flank, and shot a beam of vicious red fire.

"They couldn't do that!! Since when can they do that!?" Starswirl shouted over the din. He had been doing the same thing as Twilight, but with less success.

Then it grinned wickedly and laughed. LAUGHED.

Fire shot everywhere as it swept the area with it's beam.

I stood under it's hulking frame as those who were fighting to the side screamed in terror. My brain racked for ways to make sure it didn't stand again as I switched to hitting a different leg, very much resilient like the first.

I missed and hit a back toe, causing it to roar in intense pain and shoot fire under itself. Idea!

"Let's see how Twinkle-toes does with less toes to twinkle..." A new power surged into my arm as I viciously swung at the same back toe.

CRACK after satisfying CRACK rang through the air.

My arm became horrendously sore.

Fire blew past me without mercy, and massive claws ripped at my jacket, just missing my skin.

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Sweat poured down all parts of my body as I swung. I would NOT die. I had friends to help back home.

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK! My arm swung faster and faster as my determination grew stronger...

Horrible roars rang through the air.

Fire shot and ponies were knocked for a loop.

Sound stopped registering as I focused on hitting the gigantic toe.

Finally, bruised, cut and beaten, the huge monster ran away trailing unbelieving tears of shock as it made craters in the ground.

The elements of harmony ran together for a group hug, each one of their faces looking as though they had barely survived through the apocalypse. There could be no question that it was a close fight. All fights in the show guaranteed a good outcome, but I was not certain I could have made it.

After a quick headcount, I ran straight for Chelsea, who was with Fluttershy and Rarity, watching the whole thing take place helplessly.

I don't think I ever held her so tightly.

"Hmm... Interesting." Tirek was rather pleased by his time consuming distraction that he had placed this morning. Really. A Basilisk! Who'd expect that?

However, his mood was switched to neutral by the sight of his pet having been beaten to the point of tears. That wasn't so nice. After all, it kinda stinks to have a pet get their buttocks handed to them.

"I think, Brutus, that I will have to commend you for finding them so quickly... However, your performance as to eliminating them was... Less than satisfactory."

Brutus was not unfamiliar with what evil overlords did to those that failed them. He winced, anticipating the end, and tearfully regretted that he didn't spend more time with his wife.

"I overestimated you. You have my apologies."

"?"

"Instead, I will have you causing more of a mess for the inhabitants of this world, just as I assigned the others of your kind. Is this acceptable?"

Brutus nodded his head vigorously. Tirek examined the large amount of bruises and cuts his basilisk had received and let off a disappointed sigh. He did not like the prospect of what he had to do next... Namely because it was tedious.

"Good to see it. I'm permitting you to take shelter in one of the nearby caves until your wounds heal. Kick out any occupying dragons if necessary."

Brutus liked that thought. Basilisks, after all, are much stronger than dragons. Not only are they well matched in size, a basilisk is superior to a dragon in magic... and as a recent development, fire breathing. He ran off into the distance as his master looked on with concern for his pet.

"I was really hoping I wouldn't have to make my own creatures. Shame for you, Starry Lanes."

Shut up, Tronface! You don't care about me, so stop saying you do!

"...I still don't get it... Let me remind you, however, that it is within my best interests to keep you alive."

You said so before! I'm your TOOL and I hate you!

"Precisely. Listen, colt. Would I wish for a tool to be worn out or broken?"

...No.

"Exactly. And the feeling's mutual, Starry. You're just like the rest." Spiteful hatred oozed from every word of his voice.

..."Like the rest"?

"Yes. Not a single one of you will take the time to look at something beautiful if it's outside of your schedule. So much goes unseen and unrecorded because of your stubbornness."

How can you talk about beauty when you make so many ponies feel bad? How?

"Because my mentor has been DISGRACED, and only through violence will you ever see what you have done!"

Yeah, if there are ANY LEFT TO SEE IT, YOU MORON!

B̸̍̆͏̣̗ͅE̛͎͇̖̼̲͙̪͂̓ ̴͙̞̯͎̜̲͈͍͉̓ͭ̑̅̽̌̑͆̕S̷͋̎̑͂ͦͥ̑͏̭Ị̤͖͓̓L͈͎̹͍ͩͧ̏̌E̸̡̞͔̩̠͍̻̹̜͌͆N̳̆͆ͥͩ͋̇ͦͬ͢T̢̖̺̯̲̼̤̖ͩͨͬ̐ͅ!̖̬̪̲̠͔̮ͣ͊̍ͭ̾̿͑͌!̷͙͓̝͉̹̖̾ͫ̑̑͋̎͜!̶̝̳̯̪ͧͥ̈́ ...One as young as you cannot possibly posses the ability to understand...

Tirek fell silent as the little colt was shocked, not by the volume, but by the nature of the outburst.

...You really don't know me, Tirek.

"What is there to know? You are only a tool to me..."

My parents called me smart and compassionate. If you're going to keep me in a bag and force me to help you when I don't want to, I'm going to go the whole way! Try me!

Tirek face-hooved. Fantastic. I've bagged a psychologist.

"..."

"C'mon, Louie! Smile! It couldn't hurt!"

"Pinkie, get off my head and let me be emo."

"NoIcannot!" Pinkie countered loudly. "I just gotta see everypony and human smile!" Pinkie was perched on my shoulders, stomach touching the back of my head, her head resting on top of mine, and both forelegs wrapped around my forehead, looking something like an exotic party hat. It's hard to stay depressed when you look so silly, but I was rather determined to try.

So... Louis Anderson is bummed out? Big surprise, considering the looming feeling that the bassilisk was not going to be the toughest thing I'd face on this journey.

Okay, quick update. We have been walking for 30 minutes now into denser forest, and had paused to let Chelsea raid a house for a pistol; She had enough experience to not use her own hand as a bludgeon against the glass door, thankfully. While it only was filled with one magazine, the house she raided happened to be a 2nd amendment adoring house, and she also got a bow, a quiver chocked full of arrows (probably 30 in there!), and a pretty big hunting knife.

...She's a hunter too, so she knows how to use this stuff.

You wouldn't think a psychology major would go off for deer season every once in a while, but that's a good reason why I became so interested in her.

Anyway, current events.

"You know, Louis, I think my energetic friend there is making a good point." Twilight, situated at the front with Starswirl, shot me a small grin with eye-roll accompaniment.

"I'm sorry. Almost getting eaten is hardly going to earn any quick smiles from me," I spoke slowly, my face stoic, yet angry. Attempted stoicism?

"You kiddin'? That happens to me once a week!" Applejack quipped.

"No it doesn't. It's written all over your face, you terrible liar."

"Heh. Gotcha to grin."

Dang it.

"...This is a little bit far-fetched, but I think you might have a little more on your mind than our sudden battle." Chelsea, who had remained quiet listening to Twilight and Starswirl talk with each other, wrapped her left arm around my shoulder.

"Five years together, Chelsea. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"Tell me, then."

"It's... complicated."

Source!

CHOLD Chapter 14: Plot Twist

Chapter 14: Plot Twist

As we continued to walk, I started to tell Chelsea what was on my mind.

"Okay. I think I can break this all down into 3 different things. A little preface though: You might have heard this already... Several times."

"Go on." Chelsea encouraged.

"Okay... #1-"

I tripped on a root. No body paid it any mind except me. Stupid spruce root. Why are they so EVERYWHERE?

"#1: I feel like my lack of knowledge about Equestria and surrounding lands is going to get us all killed. Although I happen to be a somewhat devoted follower of the show, said show does not provide enough detailed information about your world to know essential facts for survival. The show even got the night sky wrong, so that makes me worried how much else it got wrong."

"Well, my knowledge is yours, Louis. I've run the Golden Oaks library ever since I moved into ponyville, and I can be the first to tell you that it's resources are nothing to sneeze at. I've memorized a large portion of it's volumes and could likely give you the gist of the rest of them." Twilight answered helpfully.

"Thank you, Twilight. I'm glad to have such a kindhearted egghead such as yourself as my friend." That earned me a blush and a glare. Hee hee, Twi you so adorable!

A quick sigh and I was ready for my next point. "Okay... #2: A lot of pressure, a lot of stress. I don't trust my own stability in this endeavor, but you all seem to be following me like blind ponies desperate not to get lost. I suppose with this statement, I'm trying to drop my status from leader to teammate. Is it an impossible request to have you all work as equals?"

A collective and joyful "no" rang from the rest of the group.

"Alright. I guess that I won't be needing my number 3 anymore."

Rainbow nudged Applejack. "I don't think he even had a 3, AJ." While the farm pony chuckled at this comment and my resulting indigence, she wasted no time talking some sense into me.

"Louis, this is gettin' ridiculous. I understand how much worry you have 'bout all this, but there comes a point when somepony's just gotta shut up and trust that their friends got their back. I'll letcha voice out your concerns once, maybe even twice, but any more an' it starts to sound like whining. Just start thinkin' positive from now on, okay?"

"Okay. I'll give it a shot."

"THERE IS NO TRY!" Pinkie and Starswirl shouted at the same time before exploding in laughter.

"Oh, come on! I didn't even say 'try'!"

Twilight simply didn't get it.

"SWEET CELESTIA that's a big chasm!" Starswirl suddenly exclaimed.

"Yes it is! And you're going in it!" A deranged voice said behind us.

"Who the heck are you?!" Everyone turned around and said it at once. The owner of the manic voice was an extremely deranged looking 20-something Caucasian male with piercing green eyes. He sauntered very close to me... Much closer than I'd possibly even consider finding enjoyable.

"WelllllllLouis... I'm the one master Tirek likes to call the PLOT TWIST!"

With that, he pushed me into the chasm.

Author's Note

END HIATUS!

Wow! It's been a dog's age since I've posted anything with this chapter, but worse yet, I leave you with a well... Cliff hanger! Or should I say...
Cliff-faller!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

But seriously... Or not so seriously... I've posted something! I am trying to bring back the comedy element that this story seems to be lacking eventually, but I've also decided that the pictures will have to wait, because currently, hands do not match with my new laptop's pen-pad controls.

Anyway, some things for you to ponder (or alternatively, request insistently that I explain) while I get a real chapter up.

"What took you so long?!"

"Louis is kind of a weenie. WHY?!"

"WHO THE CRAP WAS THAT GUY?!"

"How dare you leave a cliff-hanger/faller after so much down time?!"

"Cuud you plz add sum moar funny to tihs story? I caem for teh funniez."

"Seriously. What took you so long? I am actually and legitimately concerned. Did something happen in your life?"
(Hint: This to some extent: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/84122/metamorphosis-the-story-of-another-human-turned-pony)
(2nd Hint: Senior year is HORRIBLE.)

That's all! I'mma get back to writing soon, hopefully!

CHOLD Chapter 14.5

Chapter 14.5

OW

OW

OW OUCH

OW

Thud!

In case you didn't get my unusual narrative method, the first fall was another blunt trauma to my occipital bone against a protruding rock, causing a hairline crack in the bone (AGAIN WITH THE HEAD?! I'LL NEVER BE SANE!).

Secondly, I caused a contusion on my right, medial Patellar region, additionally suffering a small laceration on my left, lateral Buccal region (OR BE ABLE TO WALK! MY KNEE HURTS MORE THAN IT SHOULD!).

The third instance was certainly the worst, as it caused a comminuted fracture to my left tibia, breaking into five pieces instead of the much preferred two (AAAA! MY RIGHT LEG JUST EXPLODED! ...I THINK!).

Upon the fourth, I experienced a compound fracture in my right, posterior floating rib upon landing on a prominent protrusion in the most unpleasant way possible. The injury made me unconscious.

Finally landing on my dorsal region, 6 Thoracic vertebrae suffered minor fractures along their Spineous processes.

Yes, the mother trucking son of a she-dog pushed me off a cliff, breaking a stinking ton of my bones and nearly killing me!

An uncertain amount of time later, a severely broken Rainbow Dash hit the chasm bottom, screaming bloody murder upon impact. This pumped consciousness back into me better than any defibrillator could have, but the searing pain forced me to fight for it again, making me unable to help.

"Louis! Get up!" Rainbow Dash yelled. I got a glance at her, noticing that both her wing and her hind right leg were bending unnaturally.

"Uhhh!" I winced in reply.

"Come on! This is killing me!" She shouted with increased fear.

My good hand went for my knife, bumping the protruding rib, causing me to feel more sick than hurting.

"HELP!" Tears of fright began forming in her eyes as I tried to work past the extreme nausea and burning in my leg.

The knife popped free from it's scabbard, but I realized the flaw in my plan as soon as it did. There was no unicorn, so no magic could be coaxed out of it anyway. It fell out of my hand as I resigned myself to bleeding out or starving to death in this rotten crevice.

"LOOOOUIS!!" Rainbow began shrieking.

That made me grip the knife again. I had to do something, so I held it in both hands and thought at it desperately, hoping that by some miracle it would activate again.

"HELP!!!"

Something lurched in my head, and green fire shot into the knife and activated it. Not questioning it, I quickly thought of as many concepts for healing as I could possibly manage, pointing the tip at myself and willing the magic to come out and somehow fix me.

Come oooon! "Surgery"! "Cast"! "First Aid"! "Antibiotics"! "Omniheal"! WHATEVER JUST WORK-

Ever had growth pains? You wake up in the morning feeling sore because you're taller, right?

How about healing pains?

Probably not.

Let me tell you: DON'T use healing magic without anesthetic on hand. Warm tingle, then searing pain for 5 seconds. And "searing" is an understatement, because when you're in this much pain, you can't talk or move either unless you're superhuman.

I shot up on my renewed leg and ran over to Rainbow Dash, pushing the same healing magic out at her before I even stopped to sit by her. Her face became visibly red as the magic brutally fixed the broken limbs, but as soon as that was done, she had me in a death-grip hug before I even knew she was moving.

I sat there panting and traumatized, sweat poring down my brow from the aftershock of adrenaline and panic. Rainbow, meanwhile, was deeply burrowed in my tattered jacket, shaking like a leaf and crying openly.

Not sure what else to do, I stroked her mane and pet her softly. Some time passed, and I heard the other ponies calling down the chasm, their voices desperate and indistinct.

"I hate you..." Rainbow dash muttered into the soft lining of my jacket, tightening her grip on me.

"Why? I just saved your life."

"You had to go and follow that dumb old pony instead of Twi. Twilight wouldn't have made us pick a direction and go like him... She wouldn't have stopped to laugh at the big red pony... She would have kept looking around for mad-ponies like... That THING, and you wouldn't have-"

"Fallen off and nearly died, right? So you hate me because I nearly died?"

RAINBOOOOOW! Pinkie Pie called into the chasm. I called back, but it came out hoarsely for some reason.

"No, I just..." The pegasus only managed three words before giving up and crying some more.

Completely satisfied that she didn't in fact hate me, I got up still holding her and called again. Louder this time, but still hoarsely.

It was enough to have the rest of the group pinpoint us, and Twilight teleported in with everyone else shortly behind her.

Of course, as soon as Rarity saw her brash friend being way less than brash, she took control of the situation before anyone could object.

"I believe the 9 of us will be waiting here for a while. We have two who just survived falling down a canyon without injury, and I cannot imagine how traumatic it must have been."

"Rarity... My leg was completely broken in at least 3 places, and I had one of my ribs sticking out of me. Rainbow Dash had also broken her back leg and her wing."

"You have a massive bruise along your back too, Louis. I cannot in good conscience let you be up and about for at least a day."

"Get out of my coat! I feel fine!" I said, shooing Twilight away.

"Healing magic. It all fits together... How would you have been able to do it with my knife?"

Author's Note

Regretfully, this chapter, even in it's creation as it was, was not up to snuff for my standards. It is posted as incomplete, since how else will I get this out to people?

Finish writing something that needs to be reworked already?

Pssshh.

That won't work out.

Chapter 1: On Uneasy Hoofsteps

Louis sat quietly in the waiting room, but he felt as though he could not wait any longer. There is only so much time one can take the legal atmosphere of a government building, and Louis wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.

He had quite a few friends that he wanted to get back to. Seven of them, to be exact, and he did not want to be staring at the brown wood of the courtroom styled waiting room when he could be having fun.

Prearranged fun.

He preferred this type over spontaneous fun because he would not have to drop other plans to attend it.

"Louis Anderson?" The official called from her door. Louis snapped out of the trance that the boring wood siding of the room had cruelly gripped him in.

This is stupid. Why did I even sign up for this anyway?

The official smiled and led Louis into her office, instructing him to sit at a chair in front of her desk.

She sat down, filed away a few papers that remained on her desk and brushed some of her black hair out of her Asian eyes. The youthful woman then put on her glasses and folded her hands on the desk.

"Thank you for choosing to come today, Louis. I am the executive foreign species ambassador."

"Good to meet you, ambassador."

She pulled out another file from her cabinet. "My position is relatively new, and until less than a year ago, the science of communicating with foreign species was only theoretical."

Putting the document down like some important treasure (Of which there was no doubt that it actually was valuable), she folded her hands once more. "Based on more than a few eye-witnesses, your position in this whole conflict as well as it's end is significant. Two thirds of the people we brought in said they had seen someone resembling you wield your magic."

Louis looked awkwardly to the side, gripping a sleeve of his camouflage jacket. "It got harder to miss as I got better, I guess."

"One could presume so... However, discussing your skill with the magic object you use is not the only reason we are here."

"Oh. Of course."

"Now... You being a witness to such a huge event, I am required by federal law to tell you what will be done with the information you share with me."

She leaned back in her chair. "Should you wish to share this information regarding the Equestrian conflict, I will make certain that your information does not get published any way other than what you desire. After all, this meeting is only for in-government records."

Louis looked through his long black bangs at the ambassador. "I could lie when I told someone else about the story."

"As could you lie right now. Very little forensic evidence can be drawn up from such an incident as this, so as much as I would like to be avoiding it, I must simply trust you to tell the truth."

"Oh. Okay."

"You may begin when ready, Louis. I look forward to hearing about this incident from your perspective." The ambassador gave a smile.

"I couldn't tell you any of the dates of what happened when."

"That is perfectly fine. None of our witness testimonies were airtight so far."

"Thank you. From my perspective..."

Chapter 1: On Uneasy Hoofsteps

"Okay, look. It was just a stupid box-cutter laceration or something." Louis was driving down the road home in his simple Dodge Caravan, eying the stitches and bandages that now adorned his left hand between his practiced focus on the road. He was talking into his definitely-not smartphone, affectionately christened the "dumbphone". On the other end was his med-school bound girlfriend.

She did not have the exact looks of a supermodel. In fact, with her tied-back red hair, simple glasses, soft blue eyes, and a weight that was actually healthy, she was as normal as they come.

But Louis thought she was the most beautiful normal person he had ever had the fortune of coming across, and he was determined to keep their relationship strong... Even if it was long distance.

She spoke now on the other end. "Yeah, and if you told me correctly, some 'dumb jock' was on the other end of it. What was his name again?"

"Derek. So why did you really call me? I know that it's important to you to know how I'm doing... Very important... but you pretty much never call without a reason. I like your reasons, but I didn't hear this one yet."

"Oh, I just wanted to see if my brony boyfriend was open on Saturday."

"What, do you have a boyfriend who isn't a brony? The way you said it kinda implied something..."

"*Ha ha!* No. Between anatomy class and the rest of life, which includes friends, food and sleep, I only have the time for you. And just so you know, I've dated you for... what? Two years already?"

"Most high-school relationships don't last two years."

"We're different... I hope."

"Yes! We are! Gotta have hope!"

"Yeah, we do! Soooo... are you open?"

"...Sure. You can definitely come on Saturday. My day is as open as the space inside my wallet. And that's a lot of space."

"Great! Don't kill yourself before I get there!"

"I'd rather die than kill myself."

Chelsea let out a chuckle. "Okay then. Love ya stupid."

"Love ya too, ya ditz." As Louis shut off the phone, his mind shot back to the origin of that odd goodbye. Contrary to what most think, they had first learned about each other through the school gossip. Louis was described as stupid, and Chelsea as ditzy. Of course, these were among the more polite descriptors the gossip gave to those undeserving of them. They met later just to prove her wrong and spite her, and neither had any interest in the other until they met.

They exchanged a few words with each other, then started meeting during lunchtime hours, and then things got a bit bigger from there, until the point where they were meeting as often as possible.

They still do, but often just isn't as often as it used to be.

Louis was snapped back to reality when he came across that four way stop just before the Sandy Shores apartment complex where he lived.

He hated that stop with a passion. Not because he couldn't figure it out, but because the other drivers wouldn't. They also had a peculiar habit of flipping the bird at him when he followed the rules.

"Go on, dude. It's your turn. Go. Go. Go- AGAIN WITH THE BIRD! flipping moron. Ha. 'Flipping'."

Hollywood parking today! Yes! Louis simply drove into Sandy Shores' only apartment complex and got out of the car.

Of course, not exercising as much care as he should, he tripped on the wet pavement and dropped his keys right into a mud puddle. His pale face had grown paler as he was struck by the brief terror of falling, but the after effects of this short fall only frustrated him more about his crappy temp job... Especially the recent injury.

He received his "laceration" due to the usual stupid antics of Derek the jock. Said antics included driving the forklift way too fast, chucking empty boxes at other coworkers, and leaving candy wrappers all over his workplace. This made the tedious task of picking boxes to contain merchandise for shipping to stores a little less boring, but the bad effects outweighed the benefits.

This time, he crossed the line.

How?

Derek decided it would be cool to start throwing box cutters at empty boxes, just to see how many could stick. Louis was in the way at the time, and earned four stitches at his med-center trip and permission to go home for his unfortunate position. Derek was summoned by the manager, and Louis hoped that it was to hand him a pink slip.

Louis walked through the wet-yet-not-rotten late-autumn smell of the grey looking lobby, up three staircases, and stopped at the door.

"Crap. I forgot my keys."

10 minutes and some oxygen deprivation from running down and then up those same stairs again, Louis was once more in the comfortably dusty smell of his very own apartment. He breathed it in like one would a sample of fine perfume, then dropped his jacket on a kitchen/dining room chair.

The small apartment had a sort of green theme to it, with a kitchen space by the front door, furnished with a small brown table and four matching chairs. The living room ahead of it had a futon as the main furniture article (Intended for the off chance that his girlfriend had to crash), with a coffee table and a small easy chair in front of the T.V.

Game controllers laid on the coffee table alongside Louis' laptop (Currently open to a million tabs of TV Tropes), and a big door opened up to a small patio, overlooking the nearby neighborhood.

Upstairs were just a blue bathroom and dark green bedroom, separated by a brown hallway. Sure, it was small, but it was a good bargain and just as much home as any other place that you'd call home.

Louis proceeded to indulge in the luxury that was his home by collapsing on the futon and browsing the internet for pony content. This small exercise was always hit-and-miss, as a lot of NSFW items still made it past his unforgiving filters. He'd probably get back to programing those to be tighter once he had the willpower... But a 10 hour work day was not then.

No... 10 hour work days were for MINECRAFT!

...Four gloriously unproductive hours passed, unless you, like Louis, would feel accomplished having finally gotten enough diamonds for a full set of armor.

Regardless of the low-intensity Minecraft binge, it went without question that Louis still had to sleep.

10:00 PM, and all was dark as he ascended the small apartment staircase to his small green bedroom. He literally collapsed onto the bed, heedless that he still wore all his clothing. Of course, this was a usual exercise in the wake of any long day, and a successful tactic towards winning back the sleep that his gainful employment took away from him.

He was out like a light before he even knew it.

It was 8:00 AM Saturday, and something purple was in Louis' bed.

It was unquestionably... Without a doubt...

Purple.

Louis blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

Who the heck put a Twilight Sparkle toy in my bed? When I was sleeping, no less?

Louis got up and inspected the "sleeping" form of the stuffed toy. It was certainly a well done image of the unicorn protagonist from the show. The hair fell in all the right places, each eye was centered correctly, and the Cutie Mark even seemed one with the rest of the cloth, rather than sewn on. Points for craftsmanship, Whoever Mc Whatsonface. He chuckled at the dumb fake name he gave to the creator of the masterpiece.

Then he realized something was quite a bit different. While loyal to the proportions of the show, the stuffed toy looked more like a taxidermist's work than that of a craftsman. The purple strands of mane and tail, as well as the fur that covered it seemed to have come from an actual horse.

It still was just a good imitation of Twilight Sparkle, and he'd have to give this back to whatever prankster left this for him. He began searching for a tag or something to identify its source.

...Now that I think about it, I could swear it looks like it's breathing... Animatronic?!

He gave it a little poke on the nose, and it sleepily swiped a hoof at the offending finger.

Louis gasped loudly and ran like his stinkin' butt was on fire, and was outside his apartment before he could think of why he was even running... Then he gave himself a good, firm face-palm for letting a figment of his imagination best him so.

...And the landlord hates this much racket this early in the morning... Ah well... Time to figure out what to do with that stuffed toy.

Louis casually walked back into his apartment, only to find it had been rendered completely dark. A few experimental flicks of the nearby light switch did nothing, but he shrugged it off, deciding to get his cell phone and inform the electrician.

"DON'T MOVE." A female voice shouted. Louis froze, mid pace. It would have looked very dorky if it weren't for the darkness.

What the crap is Tara Strong doing in my appartment? How would she even get here so quick?

"I am the 6th Element of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle. You will keep still while I determine if you are a threat."

"Tara? If that's you, I don't care if you're a celebrity, just get out of my house! Stop freaking me out!"

"..." A dull thump could be heard. Something collided with something else, It was just that Louis did not know what with what.

"Seriously. Get out or I WILL call the cops. I don't care if you play the part of my favorite pony."

"SHUT UP. I don't know who you think I am, but I am certainly not this Terrace person you keep talking about. Now DON'T MOVE. I've magicked this room to be completely dark to everyone but me. Trust me. I CAN see you."

Oh great. Now she's gone crazy too.

"Tara" ran through an extremely professional pat-down, emptying the meager contents of his pockets, before dragging him into one of the chairs at the small kitchen table. The chair on the opposite end scooted, and something four-legged settled in to it.

"Okay... Now I'm going to turn the lights on again-"

"Wait, 'Twilight'. I thought you just cast a darkness spell or something."

"Well, actually, that is still true to some extent. I just re-routed the electrons into the ground so the power- Auuh- DON'T DISTRACT ME!"

"WOAH okay, okay. Just turn on the lights so you can interrogate me or something... Psycho..."

"You are correct. I am going to interrogate you. I have more than a few-"

"Isn't that all kinds of illegal in Equestria?"

"... I have no idea if I'm still in Equestria, so I decided to play it safe and presume we aren't."

"How's that safe?! What if you're caught?!"

"QUIT DISTRACTING ME. Your kind doesn't exist in Equestria, so I presume we aren't even there! Now..."

With that, Twilight reactivated the lights. Louis, naturally, leapt in his chair with great force, such as to have the chair fall over. The whole time, it was not a crazy celebrity that had invaded his home (however illogical that is to presume), nor was there a random Twilight toy in his house (Which looked far too real, and yet too "undisturbing" (By which, I mean, realistic enough to bypass uncanny valley.) to be fake) left by some crazy person as a joke.

That was clearly Twilight Sparkle: Unicorn and, in his mind, best pony.

Louis' brain broke.

Author's Note

Whelp... That's the first chapter... Redone!
:O

Please... Do tell me what you think.

A few actual notes:
-By the use of 3rd person, I believe I can better avoid making these characters too much like myself. Without saying "I", I think that will help my mind to subconsciously pick up that it is NOT me who I am talking about.
-Monstrous portions of thought will be going into these chapters, rather than simply having words fly out of the seat of my pants. By doing this, it will take longer, so I ask you to be patient as always.
-If anyone wants to be my editor, I would certainly like that. However, you must have a good grasp of not only the English language, but of the ability to type in English. ...Duh.
-...That's about all I want to say. Enjoy!

Chapter 2: ...Gesundheit

Chapter 2: ...Gesundheit

"Sweet Celestia... I think he just broke." Twilight noted, ever observant like she always is. However, now that the potential subject of her interrogation had encountered a sudden unexpected crash, she was very uncertain how to reboot him.

She observed the supine (face up) form of the 18-almost-19 black-haired green-eyed Caucasian homosapien, which had his legs tangled up in the rungs of the chair he had formerly been forced to sit in.

It would be inconvenient... er, horrible, to have you die on me. Twilight considered before delving into her acute memory of general and theoretical anatomy.

First thing she noted was that the human laying on the carpet definitely did not have extremely strong skin. Nor did he have hair like iron in toughness or unending stamina. he didn't even seem to have an IQ that surpassed all other species and a wisdom that spanned worlds, either.

Yes, he was definitely a human, but he was only as extraordinary as an earth-pony, pegasus or unicorn. In fact, this human seemed somehow... pony to her.

She quickly determined that the size and shape of his ribcage would make chest compressions possible, but performed only one before Louis got up quite suddenly.

"PFFFFFFFFFOWAAAAAAH!" Louis gasped and yelled at the same time, the former due to insufficient oxygen intake while processing his new reality, and the latter for the shock that his new reality was on top of him. The little unicorn tumbled off as Louis shot up from this shock.

"DON'T APPROACH ME!" Twilight shouted, still very much apprehensive towards Louis, and logically so.

"Pleasedon'thurtme!" Louis yelped milliseconds after Twilight had shouted, still very much apprehensive towards Twilight, as he really did not know how she'd react.

"Stay back and KEEP your hands DOWN! I will call the town guard!" Twilight had mentioned the town guard out of instinct.

"They're the 'police', Twilight! They wouldn't listen-" Louis attempted to explain, but it was fruitless as Twilight wanted him to shut up.

"I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD SPEAK!" Twilight could obviously command a lot of authority.

"MEEP!" The noise slipped out as Louis drew his arms back to his sides and made himself small.

An awkward silence followed as both sides stopped yelling to actually think, and thereby avoid unreasonable accusations. Twilight had a noticeably nervous face on as the two locked eyes. Louis searched for words while Twilight continued to hold her unsettled gaze.

"... Can I declare an armistice?" Louis eventually said.

"...Technically speaking, we were having a cold war. That word does not apply."

"How about negotiating a truce?"

"That word doesn't work either."

"What is the word, then?"

"How about 'coming to terms with each other'?"

Pony and person looked at each other again. There was another pause while both introverts stopped to think.

Louis was the first to speak once more. "How about you make yourself comfortable while I find a way to explain things from my end?"

"Did you bring me here?"

"I thought until today that you didn't even exist, Twilight. For one thing, unicorns are mythical, and for another, you came from a TV show that both little girls and grown men enjoy immensely."

"TV?"

"Shoosh. Stop asking questions and tell me what you want for breakfast."

"Why'd you poke my nose?"

...

Louis retracted his right finger from Twilight's nose. Didn't even notice that. A bit dehumanizing... I should avoid that. "It's because you're adorable. Now tell me what you want and I'll see if I have it."

Needless to say, the bookish unicorn did not know what to think of being called adorable by something that did not fit the description of a typical human, so she remained silent.

"...We've got eggs, milk, uh... Carrots, lettuce, probably can't- shouldn't eat hotdogs, some leftover Chinese, never mind, that has a lot of chicken, lots of bread and mayo, uh... How long has this been in here? *sniff* ... Okay, still good. I'll eat that though... Thought I cleaned all that out... Oh! Broccoli! Can I force that on you?"

Twilight, having grown a bit more comfortable at the prospect of food, seized the broccoli in her magic and began happily mowing it down. Then she stopped.

"Uh... Do you have plates?"

"Doesh it matter?" Louis asked in response, his mouth full from a bite of pizza and Chinese takeout. ...If you are worried about his health, neither item was in the fridge for longer than a week. While the prospect of lunch-like leftover food for breakfast may be a bit disgusting, it had saved Louis time needed to get to work in the past, and he had grown oddly fond of it regardless.

Twilight pointed a hoof at the broccoli crumbs on the carpet, blushing as she did so. Louis simply shrugged and presented her with a plate. She finished eating the flower in short order, trotting over to start eating the entire bag of baby carrots. Despite quite a while of living in Ponyville, her Canterlot origins still managed to show slightly, even as she ate at an extraordinary rate.

"Hungry?"

"Oh, no, this stuff is just perfect. I've never tasted any vegetable so healthy! How did you grow these?"

"...I'll explain the human practice of cash crops to you later. Let me just get something first."

A million questions buzzed through Twilight's head as Louis walked over to the coffee table to mess with a black tablet.

Is electricity commonplace on this world?

What was it that he was getting the food from?

What is he doing? Magic?

Twilight put the carrots back, now half empty, into the strange cold box they had come from, turning around and trotting over to Louis to watch the shiny glow from the top half of the tablet.

She remembered something. "I'm sorry! Where are my manners today?" She addressed Louis.

"Probably fighting a strong rebellion with common sense, I'd imagine." Louis laughed, still focused on the strange colors of the tablet. He seemed to be touching letters at it's base in a complex sequence, which made the colors change quickly.

This was a search engine, but Twilight didn't even know what the internet was, much less a laptop.

Letting out an uneasy giggle, she spoke up again. "I never asked your name..."

"Louis Anderson." Louis blurted out.

"Oh. Okay, Louis... It's nice to meet you."

By now, Louis had a few tabs open: one on The Earth, one on Humans, and one on American Culture and History.

"Okay. This will probably explain some of the more burning questions that you may have... Provided you write the same language as I."

Twilight glanced at the screen. "Seems Equestrian."

"That's... Good? Okay. The controls of my laptop are rather intuitive, so you should be able to figure them out well enough. Just don't go clicking the little red X in the top right corner. That closes the page, and it's going to be rather hard to find back." Louis explained, getting up to let Twilight sit in front of the computer.

"Uh, Okay."

"Great. I'm going to make a phone call now, so be really quiet. I don't want you distracting me or disturbing the neighbors."

"'Phone call'?"

"Yeah. Kinda like the letters to Princess Celestia that you send, only instantaneous, and you can talk to the other person instead of write." At Louis' statement, she became more interested in this prospect than at the computer that sat in front of her.

"How do you do that? I wanna try!"

Louis held up his phone. "You talk into this thing. Now, I'll be upstairs. Don't talk to me unless it's an emergency, okay?"

"Why?"

"I... Don't think the neighbors would like you all that well."

Twilight became indignant at this comment while Louis hastily made his getaway into his bedroom.

Louis had barely any time to improvise an excuse before Chelsea picked up her cell phone. "Hi Chelsea. This is a bit sudden, I know, but I can't have you coming over today."

"WHAT? Why? I thought you said you had free time!"

"Uh... I'm working."

"Working? Wow. Your boss stinks."

"Yeah. He's having us work... another 10 hours. This time loading trucks."

"I thought your hand was bad."

"It's not... That bad. I can pick up just as much with it as I could before." Clearly a lie... Don't slip up like that again.

"Uh huh. Your boss clearly wants you to re-open your wound so they can have one more volunteer worker help with the trucks. IF that were the case, I'd suggest you work at a different department... You're lying, Louis."

And Louis' fabrication went down the drain. Twilight was doomed to be known by at least one more person, it seemed.

"*Sigh.* I don't get it... Why would you back out of this so quickly? Do you want to be 'just friends' or something? I'm okay with that, of course... High-school relationships don't last long anyway."

Chelsea was indeed okay with the prospect, true to what she had said over the phone, but Louis wasn't.

"No no no no no no no no no... It's not that."

"Well, what is it?"

"Look... I'm just a bit off this morning. When are you coming over?"

"Around 12, I guess. So you still want me to come?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Thanks... And, by the way... This isn't going to work out if you make a habit out of lying. I know I hate keeping secrets. Promise not to lie anymore?" She said sweetly.

"Okay." Louis knew he could not keep that promise if a Pony's life was at stake.

"Thank you. Love ya stupid." Chelsea finished.

"Love ya too, ya ditz." Louis responded and hung up the call. His mind rushed with worry... He did not know any place to hide Twilight. Ah well... He'd think of something eventually.

"YAAAAAAUGH!!!" Twilight screamed from downstairs.

"Oh Ff-" Louis rushed down the stairs to attend to his pony guest.

So... Dude... Only a few seconds pass here man... But isn't it rad that there's a pause in the center, dude? DUDE!

"What? What's wrong?!"

"PORN." Twilight pointed an offending hoof at an unknown web-page containing gratouitous clop, giving her human host a look of absolute "I-want-to-kill-you"-ness. This look obviously signified that it was somehow his fault and this startled him a bit.

"... Three clicks to disaster... Apparently I need to give you a little crash course on the internet."

"'The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite (TCP/IP) to serve billions of users worldwide. It is a network of networks that consists of millions of private, public, academic, business, and government networks, of local to global scope, that are linked by a broad array of electronic, wireless and optical networking technologies. The Internet carries an extensive range of information resources and services, such as the inter-linked hypertext documents of the World Wide Web (WWW) and the infrastructure to support email.' Wikipedia."

"... Gesundheit." And holy crap, Twi, you have a photographic memory! ...And the internet should not be that intuitive.

"I don't need a crash course. I just need a warning." Twilight clarified, reducing her "I-want-to-kill-you" face into a "I-want-to-say-embarrassing-things-about-you-in-public" face. There is considerably less malice laced into such an expression, but it's still pretty bad. Would you want your uncle telling your school friends about the time you lost a bet and had to wear a tutu? Didn't think so.

"Really? Well, the common goers of the internet have a saying for just this very thing: 'There's porn of it. No exceptions'."

"Oh... That's a bit blunt."

"To be precise... Yes. Yes it is."

Twilight glanced back at the screen, then back at her host. "So... You guys rebelled against a monarchy, huh?"

"...Yeah. Good ol' king George was not so 'good ol'' as he made people think."

"... Huh. Equestria isn't like this."

"Your princesses have the benefit of being practically made for the job. They don't have to sit on a throne of propaganda, lies, and statistics. Just a throne of gold... And niceness... I guess."

Just then, a knock. A simple rat-tat-tat on the apartment door... But never had a sound ever invoked such pure terror in Louis as that one.

He whipped back around to face his equine guest. "You have to hide."

"What? Why?"

Louis picked up Twilight forcefully. "By all rights, you should not exist here. You are the product of a cartoon show here! Other people won't take to it so well... Or maybe take it too well." *shudder*.

"Put me down!"

"YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA?" Louis promptly threw her under the blanket that laid across the futon and rushed to the door.

On the other side was the land-lord. And he was not happy.

Author's Note

Hai guize! :D
I have nothing important to say here, so I'm going to make some riddles for you to solve. I'm thinking... One per chapter... Unless I have more written.
First to get it gets a virtual cookie!
(Hint: They're MLP based.)

Its light, ever showing.
Its blood, ever flowing.
Its warmth, ever glowing.
End of life, never knowing.

What is it?
(Hint: Nothing bleeds in MLP.)