"Stop it."

"I already fed you."

"Quit it."

Rainbow Dash was trying to have one of her typical early afternoon naps, but every time she got settled, the tentacles got wiggly again. When they shattered yet another attempt at sleep, she steeled her resolve. "That's it. It's time to teach you wigglers who is in charge of this body."

Launching herself from her most cozy, cloud-stuffed recliner, Rainbow made her way into the kitchen while trying to ignore the wiggly tentacles protruding from her butt.

Opening her fridge, Rainbow never gave a thought to the magical receptacle of all things leftover. Equestrian refrigerators were not just as chill as those from other dimensions, but they kept food safe to eat—as Pinkie Pie would say—forever. There was a burger from the last time Rainbow and Twilight had relied on Twilight's tastes for dinner selection; there was a pile of tacos that Pinkie Pie had specifically instructed be made with not just an extra splash of lime juice, but sour cream as well; a container of Ponese food that Fluttershy had insisted was the best in town; and there was a huge tub of chili nachos that Applejack had nearly managed to incinerate Ponyville with.

Rainbow Dash grabbed it all.

"Okay you wigglers, you may be a guest in Hotel Rainbow Dash—" Rainbow set all the things on the table, then grabbed several bottles of the hottest chili sauce she had and a little tub of wasabi paste that Fluttershy had left, "—but I don't have to make your stay a pleasant one!"

In a flash of speed (ten seconds flat, of course) Rainbow Dash had distributed a generous helping of each of the fire-breathing condiments to each of the foods. The chili nachos seemed to have a soft red glow about them, which is what Rainbow figured was almost right—she added a smear of wasabi paste as well.

"Last warning, wigglers. I don't want to have to do this, but you forced my hoof."

One of the tentacles had reached up to the table—toward the tacos—but they all continued to wiggle.

"That's it!" Rainbow figured the best way to start was with scorched earth. She reached for Applejack's chili nachos and loaded one chip up with the only substance that she'd ever seen make a dragon breathe fire out of both ends—but that was before she'd fired it up more.

Bringing the single chip toward her mouth, Rainbow popped it inside and prepared to deal with Tartarus—only to find it tasted amazing. Sure it was spicy, but it didn't burn, and if anything it made her only want more. "These are—are totally awesome!"

Rainbow's belly started to react just as she'd finished practically inhaling the nachos. "Oh no! Stop that! You're not going to be so wiggly for long!"

The spicy sambal noodles flicked and shot around as Rainbow slurped them down. The more heat, the better everything tasted. By the time she got to Twilight's leftover burger, she'd dumped one fully bottle of chili sauce and was looking through teary eyes for another. No matter what she ate from the table, if it was spicy hot, it was amazing.

The rumblies in Rainbow's belly got stronger, and then headed further back. She had her snout in the can of wasabi—licking the bottom—when all the tentacles started squirming and moving. Jerking her head from the can, Rainbow sneezed and fell sideways off her seat. What had started as just wiggling had turned into something else.

One by one the tentacles shoved into somewhere Rainbow would really much rather not have tentacles shove, and each time she felt something seem to ripple in them, before they would withdraw again. Over and over. The worst (best?) bit for Rainbow was, at least while they were doing whatever they were doing, they weren't wiggling.

The wiggling of the tentacles no in her other place had become so intense that it took all the fight out of Rainbow. She sneezed again, coughed, and slumped into a half-awake stupor.

When Rainbow heard somepony knock on the front door, the tentacle party inside her had been over and done with for a while, but now all the tentacles were wiggling like crazy—and Rainbow couldn't do anything to stop them. "Heeeeeelp..."

Carefully opening Rainbow's front door, Fluttershy poked her head in. "Rainbow Dash? Oh my!" She saw the mess on the floor in the kitchen, and Rainbow was in the middle of it—leaking from just about every hole. Her eyes and nose were watering furiously, and the green tongue she now possessed hung out the side—wiggling like the tentacles coming from her butt.

With a force of will that defied the ordeal she was dealing with, Rainbow managed to suck her tongue back into her head. "Fluttershy, help. They're being extra wiggly and—" Rainbow bit off the rest of her explanation.

"Oh my! Rainbow, what happened?" Walking over to her friend, Fluttershy could smell a sweet odor in the air combined with something spicy. "What did you do?"

"They wouldn't stop—wouldn't stop wiggling. I wanted a nap, and told 'em if they don't stop and let me sleep, I'll blast 'em out. Damn wigglers…" Shifting her hips seemed to encourage more wiggling, so she stopped. "Can you tell them to stop?"

"Did you eat all this?" Fluttershy asked, gesturing at the mess on the table and the remains of the fiery feast Rainbow had knocked onto the floor.

"You don't understand, they're sooooooooo wiggly…"

"Well of course!" Fluttershy, having read more of her book on wiggly things, recognized exactly what had happened now. "Oh Dash, how did you know the tentacles love spicy food?"

Jerking herself upright, Rainbow stared at her friend while struggling futilely to ignore the tentacles still wiggling like crazy. "What?"

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together in delight at how wonderful Rainbow had been. "You're such a gracious host!"

"Ugh… do what?"

"I'm sure they'll be laying eggs in no time!"

Glaring through Fluttershy with a thousand-yard-stare, Rainbow started shaking almost as much as the tentacles wiggled. "W-W-What?!"

"Capsaicin triggers their mating drive. Oh, I'm sure they'll start putting eggs in your—" Fluttershy froze as she watched a ripple of motion through Rainbow's body, and then a little green orb rolled across the floor. "Goodness me!"

"What was that?!" Rainbow turned her head to look back, unsure why she'd shivered from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail. Seeing Fluttershy pick up a little round thing about the size of her hoof freaked Rainbow out. "What is that?!"

"It's their first egg, Rainbow! This is so exciting! The book said that their clutch size is usually in relation to how well-fed they are and how much spicy food they were exposed to." Cradling the little egg, Fluttershy giggled. "And the moment they get into a warm, wet environment, they'll hatch."

Another shiver took Rainbow by surprise, and this time she knew it wasn't a tentacle doing something that she felt. The sensation of the egg coming out didn't hurt at all—it was too small for that—but she was now a lot more aware of the bloated sensation coming from somewhere that wasn't her stomach. "H-H-How many?"

Fluttershy watched Rainbow shiver again, and reached down to pick up two more eggs. "Goodness, I don't know. They normally put as many eggs as they can in a mare, and they grow rapidly and are laid. How many times did they, um, put them in?"

Focusing on anything but the feeling of more eggs leaving her shivering body, Rainbow latched onto the recent memory of the tentacles going in and putting their eggs inside her. She lost count at fifty. "H-How many do they lay each time they go in?"

"From what I remember, anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand, depending on the health of the tentacles and their food." Fluttershy started to do the math and realize how much spicy food Rainbow had eaten. "I-I'll get some wet towels!"

With Fluttershy rushing out of the room, Rainbow was at a loss as to what to do. The muscle trembles came constantly now, and she was getting quite the pile of eggs behind her. "G-Gotta find somewhere to put all of ya. This is—this is not so bad. Just have to not think about it too much."

By the time Fluttershy reached the kitchen (after rushing to the bathroom), she saw Rainbow carefully pushing the pantry door closed, a few eggs tumbling out from under her tail. "I got the towels. I wasn't sure how hot you'd want them, so I got a range of heat. These ones were—" Fluttershy stumbled and stopped speaking as she watched Rainbow start putting eggs in the refrigerator. "What are you doing?"

"My parents are coming around tonight, and I don't want them to know about all—all this!" Rainbow gestured to the eggs she was lifting up and putting in the fridge. "I figure if I can get them all out and hidden, there won't be a problem."

Fluttershy could only stare at the bizarre situation going on before her. Being friends with Rainbow Dash had never been easy—Fluttershy was already committed to helping. "Why don't you fill the oven—" She'd pulled on the oven's handle as she spoke, and the tumble of eggs pouring out of the cooker almost tripped her.

"Yeah… the fridge is all that's left in here. Would you mind putting those back?" Working out a better solution, Rainbow built a cage at the front of the fridge with the wire racks and turned around to stick her rear end in. "At least you guys aren't too wiggly now."

"I can't believe she's been made a national park." Bow said as he glided beside his wife. "How could anypony top that?"

Rainbow's cloud house was in sight, and Windy Whistles wobbled her wings in excitement. "Nopony! Until our little filly! You see, Bow, next she'll be a national park AND national holiday!"

Bow's eyes widened in surprise. "How would that even work?!"

"Because she's Rainbow Dash! That's how." Slowing her descent, Windy suddenly came up with the best idea. "Oh! We should glide in really quiet and then surprise her!"

"That's the best—idea—ever!"

"Well, Fluttershy, I may be full of tentacles, but at least my situation isn't getting any worse." Rainbow had one hoof resting on her much flatter tummy as she rested on the recliner. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, and was well on her way to reaching that goal regardless of her friend being there and her parents due any second.

Trotting out of the kitchen, Fluttershy carried one of the cans of fizzy drink she knew Rainbow (and the tentacles) liked. "Dash, I got you a can of carbonated soda pop. Sorry it's a bit warm, but there wasn't any room in the fridge."

Trying to ignore the only slightly wiggly tentacles that seemed to be exploring her as much as the chair, Rainbow was about to reply that she didn't honestly care how warm it was when the incident started.

Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles burst through the front door, Windy leading the first part of a Mexicolt wave. "Oooooooh Rainbow—"

"Dash!" Bow Hothoof finished both the intro and the wave.

Neither of them saw Fluttershy tipped forward with the can of warm soda. The can hit the floor—attained a good deal more fizz than was strictly safe—and collided with the linen closet door that had swung open when Fluttershy collided with it.

Rainbow Dash was treated to a horror show she knew had to be happening, because nothing this stupid could be a dream. Several thousand eggs—rubberized and bouncy—came pouring out of the open door as the can of fizzy drink caught an edge and ruptured.

In hindsight, Rainbow should have expected eggs to bounce into her mother's mouth, her father's mouth, and even Fluttershy's mouth. And the warm can of soda spraying its contents around the room was undoubtedly going to hit each of the aforementioned ponies square in the face with its frothy, warm fluid.

There was a reason, of course, why Rainbow loved soda, but rarely drank it at home—carbonated soda eats through clouds. "Well buck," Rainbow Dash said as the squirming eggs—hatching—started to disappear through the floor. "I bet Twilight's going to think this was my fault."

FIN!

Author's Note

Fluttershy: What are you going to do when Rainbow Dash realizes you just blatantly proved that you're faster than she is?

"D-Don't be silly. I'm not faster than Rainbow Dash—nopony is. She the—cut the feed!"

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Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
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And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
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Credit for both the comic sets used in this (and all the art from this story) goes to Jargon Scott.

The particular comics used are:
https://derpibooru.org/2089587
https://derpibooru.org/2098823