Twilight Sparkle Sues The Bronycon Bookstore
Author's Note
Written for RBDash47.
Edited many technical issues on 07/13 - before the contest ends.
Bound By The Law
"Alright," Mayor Mare said to herself, looking down at the papers in front of her. "The court is now observing Twilight Sparkle vs The Bronycon Bookstore."
The mare blinked. Her ornate powdered wig tilted ever so slightly on her head. She looked up from her podium at the front of the courtroom to see Twilight Sparkle walk down the center of the courtroom aisle and preside at the prosecution table. Her expression was stern, focused. She levitated a briefcase onto the table. Two loud clicks, and the case sprung open, releasing several organized stacks of paper, a few books, and her dragon assistant, Spike.
"Will the defendant be joining us today?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Defendants, your honor," Twilight Sparkle corrected. "As we understand, this bookstore is a collective of vigilante propagandists, your honor."
"Then who will be presenting for the defense?"
"We will, your honor."
Two stallions rise from their seats. One wearing a rather oversized snorkeling helmet and scuba suit and the other looking nearly exactly like Rainbow Dash. Except, instead of Rainbow's signature rainbow lightning bolt for a cutie mark, the number 47 was drawn in what seemed to be crude crayon.
Mayor Mare blinked at the two stallions and set down her papers.
"Who in the world are you two?"
"Our names aren't terribly important, your honor. But we do represent Earth's Bronycon Bookstore. We're here to speak for the Bronies."
"Bronies? This again?" she sighed while rubbing her temples. "Twilight, we went over this, this is covered under fair use."
"I understand your honor. We're not here to persue copyright infringement. We accuse the defendant of multiple accounts of defamation of the Elements of Harmony, The Princesses, as well as many of the residents of Ponyville. Their likenesses and names were used without permission, and depict the characters in actions they otherwise would never do."
"Excuse me?" Mayor Mare said in surprise. She leaned back in her chair and looked two the stallions. "What is all of this?"
"It's true, but I assure you that all of the stories depicted in the novels of the Bronycon Bookstore are purely works of fiction, and are not intended to be considered non-fiction within the pony universe."
"We object, your honor. These stories may claim to be written as fiction, but they use so many details and information from our world that they seem entirely plausible within our world. Therefore, with the books' information having blurred the lines between our reality and fiction, it stands to gravely impact the reputation of the ponies who are depicted within the books."
"Okay, well what sort of contents are do the books depict?"
"We assure you, while there may be an occasional romance, every story being sold within our business has been hand picked, verified, and contains nothing that should be exclusive to readers over the age of eightteen."
"I'm glad you brought this up," Twilight said. "If I may, your honor. I have submitted each of the sixty different books being sold at this business into evidence."
"Oh, I saw," Mayor Mare said. "Princess Sparkle, do you honestly think I would have read sixty different books with only a weeks notice?"
Twilight raised a hoof. Then slowly brought it back down.
"Well I would have," she said softly. "But that's not the point. It's the contents that are important. Look at exhibit DUBS: Where Rainbow Dash enters a sensual relationship with a kitchen sink. Or how about exhibit MONO: Which contains a eerily realistic tale between Rarity and Princess Celestia herself."
"Not to interrupt, your honor, but most of these stories are going to have some sort of romantic inclinations, but the world has been no stranger to gossip columns or parody. Surely you can understand."
"How about the multiple stories that contain romantic relations with the humans themselves, or Bronies."
"While we cannot account for what every author writes," The Rainbow imposter interjected. "I can assure that many of these stories have been vetted first hand not just the authors themselves, but in some cases a private publishing group.
"Your honor," Twilight interrupted one more time. "May I show Exhibit FLUT, which contains a nearly five-thousand word vignette detailing how I would kill myself and why it would make sense."
The courtroom went silent.
Mayor Mare took a deep breath and looked to the defense.
"Why would you allow these books to be sold? Why are you promoting this platform that could harm the lives of innocent ponies across Equestria."
The two stallions looked to each other.
"Well, let's start with we didn't think you were real? This has been a really weird day for us."
Mayor Mare sighed and leaned forward.
"Humans in Equestria aside, why would you write about us? What have we ponies ever done to you?"
The rainbow stallion stepped forward.
"I can't speak on behalf of all of our kind. But I can certainly share this from my personal experiences. Our world is dark. Harsh. Terrifying at times. With what we know of your world, it provides us a gentle reprieve from the struggles of our routines and day to day problems. By making two ponies hold hooves, ponies that we recognize and can relate to, it helps us breathe so that we can approach each day with the power to do what you all do every day. To spread love. To spread friendship. To show the virtues of Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty and Laughter to a world that's lost it's magic."
A hum filled the courtroom as the stallion turned to the Princess of Friendship, she chose not to look him in the eye, but her ears were perked.
"We would never want to harm any of you ponies. You have all been better friends to us than a lot of people who live in our world. And now with the connection between our worlds closing quicker and quicker, we want something we can hold onto. To show how much you all mean to us. Surely you of all ponies, Twilight, can know the power a book can have to help people and ponies alike."
Twilight nodded and lookked through her papers. Then, she abruptly tossed them in the air.
"But why do the stories have to have me kissing so many different ponies?!" Twilight exclaimed.
Rainbow 47 looked around at the court room.
"Okay, raise a hoof if you'd totally bang Twilight if you could."
A short silence came over the courtroom as a few hooves shyly went up. Then another. And another. Then another group of hooves.
Soon, every hoof in the courtroom was up and waving. Twilight turned to Spike, who even raised a claw.
"Spike!" she growled at him.
"What?! I have no frame of reference... or standards," Spike mumbled.
"Well, then I think that settles it," Mayor Mare said with a smile. "Since everypony wants a happy ending with Twilight, I don't see any reason why Bronies can't have theirs. Besides, I for one am honored that ponies would go out of their way to write gripping romantic narratives about me."
"Well actually, you're not really that-" the snorkel stallion began. The rainbow stallion swiftly kicked him in the hoof.
"I declare the Bronycon Bookstore officially open for business!" Mayore Mare rules, banging her gavel down. "May your shipping be forever free!"
